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>guys who boast about how good they are at eating a girl out

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 142
Thread images: 17

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>guys who boast about how good they are at eating a girl out either can't get it up or have a small dick

STR8 FACTS
>>
I know im good because every gf has told me, they always want it, however that's something I've never said out loud
>>
b8 m8?
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>>745195104
>Loser can't find the clit
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>>745195104

OP is a faggot. A closeted one who won't go down on a girl. Probably a nigger.
>>
>confirmed op is a shit lay
>op also a faggot
>also sage
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>>745195104
>avg dick
>ussually can get it up fine
>good enough at eating out to get the job done.

Where/why did you develop this weird predjudice?
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>>745195104
Don't eat women out; you wouldn't eat out a dumpster, would you?
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>>745195104
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>>745195334
OP here. good mate. The real people who are actually good at cunnilingus dont admit it.

Also, edit to original post, im talking about people that PREFER oral on a girl rather than fucking her have limp dicks
>>
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I'm neither small nor do I have trouble getting it up... But I like for her to get off because that shits hot... So here's the deal... First long term realtionship, the chick had a really hard time getting off, like had to really work to even get herself off. But she loved sex and when she did cum... She had like the full on shaking orgasms... So dude it was so worth the work... Well, her being so hard to get off ended up making me know exactly what she needed and how to really eat it great to give her those good O's or build right up to it, and then dick her over the edge so we could go together.... But yada yada, she went to a different college and we grew apart... Fast forward a fee years and a 5 partners later... None of them were so hard to bring off.... So what took me 10-30 minutes on girl one... I was turning one of these chick inside out with back to back orgasms in 5 minutes... And every one of them thought I was fucking amazing with my tongue... Pretty average dick... I can use it just fine...but dog..my tongue game is on point... Pic related, it's my message to OP...


tl;dr- I eat box like a retard trying birthday cake for the first time and still have a functioning penis.
>>
>>745195763
just hearing old guys talk about how much they love eating out, are a fan of eating out more than actual sex because they're limp dick fucks.

I mean, i'll go down on a girl when i've got whiskey dick and she's in my bed, but 9/10 times im scooping her insides out with my dick
>>
I know i got a small dick. I'm cool with it. Ain't nothing i can do about it. I eat out cuz it gets her off.
>>
>>745195334
This. Perhaps it is a good rule for ppl that actively talk themselves up but it wouldn't have to be specifically about eating pussy, those guys are just over compensating in general.
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>>745196131
I don't believe you've even had sex 10 times to have 9 out of 10 quite honestly.
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>>745196127

never read something this cringey holy fuck this is sad
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>>745196127

shut your mouth virgin
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>>745196131
I give you props for "scooping her insides out with my dick" I fucking lol'd
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>>745196538
Yeah you can tell he doesnt give a shit about her feels
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>>745195104
You eat it up
Then you beat it up
OP is a fag as always
>>
>>745195104
Obvious Op has never had a woman (or many) as he doesn't understand the importance of being able to give a woman multiple orgasms using hands, mouth as well as dick. And its not because "Kek I'm the best" or "I've got a small dick". It entirely has to do with getting more pussy, and getting that more pussy to do depraved shit in order to satisfy you.

This is because women talk, are competitive and are insecure. You see women accuse men of always talking about sex because the truth is women talk and brag about sex a lot. They also love to brag about the quality of lover they get. You a percentage of blokes are fucking hopeless, they just jam it in, squirt and are done. Then there are guys who know what they're doing. So women start talking about sex and some girls then complain about poor lover. Another girl now has to claim alpha bitch status by claiming the guys she gets can give her multiple orgasms, thereby subtly suggesting girl with poor lover is lower quality. Probably no secret but women are petty and compete over everything. So what does the one, or others, do who haven't had a guy give them as many orgasms, they try and sleep with same guy in order to brag to former alpha bitch she had more orgasms, and guy liked her more. Then another chick will pipe up about a bloke, so they all start taking notes on who is good in order to out compete.

Now because they're in competetion they become desperate, as guys who gave give multiple knee tremblers become a bit like the prettiest dress, nicest house etc. A commodity to hold over other women. And due to having to compete for this commodity women become more willing to do depraved and submissive shit in order to try and claim that monopoly. Meaning a guy with skill gets more attention as they compete with one and other over who has the better thing.

It's really that simple, never under-estimate a women's ability to be shallow, petty and competitive.
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>>745195104
>anyone who says theyre good at something has a small dick
>implying that youre good at something because no one knows youre good at it
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>>745196127
>bags of sand, the post
>>
>not being able to make her cum through standard intercourse
>having to resort to clitoral stimulation because you don't know how to hit the g spot
kek
>>
>>745195104
Eating pussy is for faggot's.
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>>745199062
Say wut m8?
I'll suck your dick you say that again.
>>
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THIS IS THE REALITY OF THE PUSSY
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>>745199128
If you'll eat that you'd eat anything.
>>
>>745195104
this
girl does not want you to eat her out, tongues are not penises
she wants you to fuck her as hard as you can with the power rod with which you are blessed, work that pussy out, provided fortune has been kind to you down there
>>745195568
a small-dick's response
>>
>>745199214
Let me guess - you have poor hygiene?
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>>745195104
>guys who boast about how good they are at eating a girl out either can't get it up or have a small dick
but i have both of those things and never eat/talk about eating pussy
are you some sort of lying faggot OP?
>>
what if you have a small dick and you're bad at eating pussy?
>>
>>745199543
It's from the soprano's you dumb fuck.
>>
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do both faggot
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Need annons help, please.

>Im not good with my dick.
>I love eating pussy.
>Im good at it.
>We both enjoy it.
>Last weekend I ask for the first time to let me eat her ass
>Try my best. I dont hate it, but don't love it either.
>My girl is "Meh".
>My dick goes limp, I wash my mouth and cuddle.

What am I doing wrong? How do I improve? HELP!
>>
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>>745195104
>tfw when unable to properly get it up

any tips? should i off myself?
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>>745200052
you gotta lick both mate, or finger the ass while eating the pussy.
>>
>>745200052
1. Don't eat her ass
2. Don't read these threads as the retarded cuck invaders are just switching tactics as they're mad that they got shitted.
3. I re-read your post and you're probably a troll too faggot
>>
>>745198968
this
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>>745195910
Lel you telling me you accept that you came out of the dumpster?
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>>745195104

Uhh false?

Truth is more like, a guy wants to fuck 100x more than a woman. Once you've been in a couple relationships, that last months or years, where you're only having sex twice a month, knowing how to eat pussy well is a great card to have.

You can eat pussy and go on autopilot. Grab ass, grab tits, grind your dick against the mattress to keep yourself worked up, etc, and if you can do it for more than 20-30 minutes, you're guaranteed to fuck after however long you want.

Thirty minutes ain't worth it? LOL

Picture yourself going 3 weeks without sex and feeling frustrated as hell about it. Would you give 30 minutes, the equivalent of being stuck in traffic, for a good fucking after?

Once I learned to eat pussy regularly, I got my wife to pretty much agree to spreading 3-4 times a week. She never passes up getting her pussy ate out. And that's 3-4 times fucking afterwards. On weekends, we can fuck 3-4 times in one day. All that shit beats masturbation.
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>>745200866
lol having to compromise for sex, you should be able to roll over in the morning pull her panties down and wake her up by jabbing her with your dick. That's all it should take to initiate sex.
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I can't eat pussy for shit. Got a big dick tho so it works out. I guess I'm saying I'm with OP. Getting the girl off is nice but not necessary.
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>>745200866
>not wanting your puny dick inside her before having an orgasm
topkek, my gf fucks me when i want because she loves it
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>>745195104
Can anyone here legitimately justify touching a pussy with their mouth? All primitive answers will be ignored.
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>>745201339
It's hot, watching a bitch wriggle around as she's having orgasms and your still eating her out makes me diamonds.
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>>745201339
because then they touch your dick with their mouth
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>>745201478
the pussy kinda boring imo. just nothing there.
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>>745201479
I don't find anyone sucking a dick justifiable either. Sorry.
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>>745201478
it's much more satisfying when you're making her cum with your dick. like it's supposed to be
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>>745195104
I just like eating pussy. Faggot.
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>>745201633
well have you had your dick sucked 5x better then pussy
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>>745201679
both are good.
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>>745200121
who cares, you'll cum in 2 seconds anyway
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Stopped eating pussy years ago. It is gross and I could give a shit if the girl gets off because I am dumping her ass the second I fuck her.
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I got pretty big dick its damn near 8 occasionally get soft while fucking but My head is on point.
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>>745201134

Spoken like someone whose never done more than jerk off thinking about a crush for more than a year. You're in fantasy land, pretending to be some alpha male LOL
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>>745200052

You gotta get the ass worked up and then stick a finger in there, or finger the pussy at the same time you're eating the ass.

My girl cums buckets almost as soon as I stick a finger in her ass.
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>>745201633
Maybe you're just gay?
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>>745195104

Close, I have a fairly large penis and she has a fairly tight vagina. The combination means that I have a hard time holding out for long and so I cum a little too fast. So I'm good at oral so that she gets hers first and then I get mine. It works out pretty well.
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>>745201720
Nope. I really don't want to either because I'll be looking down at her, then start imagining myself in her position and my dick would go soft immediately.

>>745202037
If I were gay, I WOULD find sucking dick justifiable. Do you not have the comprehension skills needed to pass the 2nd grade?
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Lol, OP thinks a bigger dick means she cums. Someone has never been with a woman before.
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>>745202462
just try it once stop being a faggot

>probably a virgin cuck
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>>745195104
Be me
>absolutely trash at eating vagina
>7.5 peen
>can't stop being hard
>been fucking since 13
>mfw
>>
>>745195104
Op. Your spot on imo. Been with dozens of girls. Most cum no problem from a good old fashioned dicking. If a chick has a problem getting off from normal vaginal penetration, o don't have time to deal with whatever emotional or self image issues are blocking her from enjoying sex, so I move on. Girls that have to have oral to climax need to figure their shit out. Not my problem.
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>>745200150
>you gotta lick both mate, or finger the ass while eating the pussy.
I think thats dangerous for her. You know... infections and all that.

>>745200218
>1. Don't eat her ass
>2. Don't read these threads as the retarded cuck invaders are just switching tactics as they're mad that they got shitted.
>3. I re-read your post and you're probably a troll too faggot
Im not a troll nor a Cuck, I just enjoy eating pussy. Please forgive me for that sin.
>You gotta get the ass worked up and then stick a finger in there, or finger the pussy at the same time you're eating the ass.
Im not sure she would let me.
>>
>>745202612
You're right, I am a virgin. But I'd rather be one than do something disgusting that I'll regret for the rest of my life.
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>>745202189
Found the premature ejaculator. But go ahead and blame it on the tight puss. Standard.
>>
I like eating out. It's hot, it tastes good and having a pussy all up in your face is the next best thing to being balls-deep in one
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>>745195104
Yeah it's pretty gay
I enjoy eating out girls if their pussy is presentable but guys who only talk about it are pretty fucking gay
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>>745202462
If you're picturing yourself in her position, I got bad news for you, you're gay and in denial.
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>>745203145
Then you're going to die a virgin.
>>
I have to beg wife to lick her pussy or ass, because she rather have my dick.
I have 7.1 inch dick that is diamonds fast
I like giving oral, sucking tits etc...
Yet again, her clit is very sensetive and it's hard to please her. Only when 69'ing. Meh

You argument is invalid, selfish pussy boy OP who doesn't care about partner's pleasure
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>>745205451
I'm pretty damn sure I'm straight. I'm just not an animalistic savage that will give up anything just for a little pussy. I check out the girls at my work, but I'm not going to spend energy and work towards getting some, I'd rather have it fall in my lap. I also have extremely high standards too.

>>745205540
I'm fine with that.
>>
i like how u think this is a contentious opinion lol
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>>745195104
says the guy who can't keep it up for more than 5min before going flaccid windsock.
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>>745195104
Guys who boast are just assholes. It has little to do with dick size.
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>>745195104
I don't boast.

But the harder I can make her come with my mouth, the harder I can fuck her afterwards. Not to mention what they'll let you do to them when their brains are flooded with happy chemicals.
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>>745198355

>getting that more pussy to do depraved shit in order to satisfy you.

This guy gets it.

After a good, hard orgasm, most women will let you fist them.

And like it.
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>>745202009

Oh, yeah. Most go pretty crazy when you eat their ass. Love it.
>>
>>745195104
Text for easy nudes (905) 715-4139 (wannabe porn star)
>>
>>745203094

>I think thats dangerous for her. You know... infections and all that.

I routinely lick my wife from asshole to clit, and she's had exactly one UTI in her entire life. The risks are grossly exaggerated.
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>>745195104
I'm a Pussyologist
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>>745195560
It's right above the vagina
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>>745206297
Gay in denial.
>>
>>745195104
What's so special in this? Don't you have a saying in your countries which says something like this:
"The dog that barks does not bite" - Meaning if you talk too much or yell at others to intimidate them you most likely know nothing and a weak shit. Calm people are always the knowledgeable and to be afraid of
>>
>>745206297
Nibi? Wait, nvm he's gay.
>>
>>745207962
looks kinda like a dude with make to look like a female.
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>>745195104
>girls who brag about being good at sucking dick either can't get wet or have no vagina.

Dude, some people like eating pussy just like some chicks like sucking dick. That's literally all it is.
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>>745208256

能ある鷹は爪を隠す

"The able hawk hides its claws."
>>
this is bait lol
>>
>>745201777
trips of truth
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>>745208584

No, it's a nigger who can't eat pussy to save his life, and who is in deep denial about his complete lack of fucking skills because his soulless cocksleeve is so terrified that he'll beat her again that she has become able to convince him that he is actually able to make her come with his carpet-lint-ridden, licorice-flavoured trouser TicTac.
>>
>>745201679
but how come i can get my gf off with anything I do? My schlong isn't that large, I think it clocks in around 6" or so, but no matter what I do, I get the job done, sometimes multiple times.

>i am god???
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>>745209169

>shlong isn't that large

Well, then, it isn't a shlong, it's a shlort.
>>
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>>745208216
Yes I am absolutely fucking gay my dude. Especially after saying >>745201633

But on a more serious note, you're allowing me to imply that you'd rather have some sloppy-joe roast beef stank, than no pussy at all? That desperate huh?
>>
If a girl can't cum from normal sex, she has some mental shit going on. It's not really worth trying to fix, and if you want to spend.a lifetime licking her pussy just to get her off, you've settled.
>>
>>745201777
listen up to the trips, kid
>>
>>745209624

Are you fucking serious? *Most* women can't get off to vaginal stimulation alone. There are a million and one surveys that confirm this. Hell, even the biggest dick won't even directly touch her clit.

Buncha fuckin' teenagers around here, I swear.
>>
>>745209868
Yeah. I'm serious. Imagine a girl having to suck you off every time you had sex because you had some emotional hangup. She'd probably say fuck that. Biologically speaking, women should cum from normal vaginal sex, just like most men do. Also, I'm in a hetero relationship now, but have broken up with a couple women because of sex issues like this.
>>
>>745209868
If you can't make 99% of women cum from a good long dicking, you're not doing it right.
>>
>>745210179
My girl loves sucking dick though so she does it every time without prompting. I don't see what the argument really is here, but its a medical fact that most of the nerves that give a woman pleasure go through or end at the clit, so if you're planning on making her feel good, that's the sure fire way to do it.
>>
>>745210179

Dude, *you* have the issue here. Most women cannot orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone; only a lucky minority do.

Men and women have different bodies and thus require different approaches. To expect your GF's body to function exactly as does yours is an autistic attitude, quite literally. You cannot comprehend that others feel differently from.

The odds are your current GF is faking it, and likely seek a more thoughful lover behind your back.
>>
>>745195104
Not true, I have a huge thick cock I can't get up, and I'm not big on eating a girl out.
>>
>>745210305

Sure, pal. Every single study is wrong. The dick does not even directly or even indirectly, though skin, touch the clitoris in normal fucking.

Try to jack yourself off without touching, directly or indirectly, your glans. Now, imagine someone else trying to do it while also concentrating on their own pleasure.
>>
>>745210391
I don't care what the percentages are. Apparently, 75% of guys don't know how to fuck worth a damn. The odds are my girl loves Dick and routinely cums 2 or 3 times during a normal session. In fact, those odd are 100%. Go ahead and spend your time trying to satisfy a girl with your face crammed in her snatch. That ain't natural.
>>
>>745210774
>Caring about women getting off.

This just isn't the place I used to know.
>>
>>745210527
Fucking guy trying to blame his sexual inadequacies on the geometry of the vagina. All these millions of years of evolution and the clit just doesn't line up with the dick. Literally try harder. As in,try to make her cum before you crap out in 5 min and respect to sucking on a pussy that was built for a dick. God damn.
>>
>>745210919
It's because it's a thread about something you don't know about.
>>
>>745210774

If that is true for your girl, then both of you are the lucky ones. Women have a harder time coming, period. There is a sizeable minority of women who can't even make *themselves* come, whereas a man will that problem is vanishingly rare.

My own experience bears it out: about 1/3 of the women I 've regularly fucked could come unassisted. The other 2/3 needed something more.

Female bodies have certain disadvantages, abut that is completely natural.
>>
>>745211025
Being subservient to a woman's needs before my own... yeah. You got me there big boy.
>>
>>745210983

Many of my exes could get off with just dick, but others could not. You won't even consider the possibility that even the greater lover in the world simply cannot make a significant minority of women come with dick alone. I've pointed out that the physiology just doesn't work. Evolution doesn't care nearly as much about the female orgasm because it isn't nearly as important as the male one.

No male ejaculation = no human race
No female orgasm = slightly reduced chance of pregnancy

If you really think that any chick who can't come from your dick alone is "abnormal" or "damaged", she'll be secretly frustrated and seek pleasures elsewhere.
>>
>>745211154

>subservient

You have some serious insecurities there, boy. Maybe you need to buy a bigger truck or lawnmower or something.
>>
>>745211311
Oh look, getting defensive. Did we hit a nerve young braggart? I don't even have a vehicle. My dick doesn't work. I'm not good looking and overweight, but I can guarantee I have more women than you do.
>>
>>745211050
>>745211255

it's not luck and there is no, and will be no, sexual frustration on either side because I dated (fucked) a LOT of women before I settled down and sexual compatibility is important. I found someone I'm compatible with, Based on my experience, there were a couple of women who I couldn't get off no matter how much effort I put in (oral excluded). Incompatible. I moved on. If you want to spend every sexual encounter with your mouth firmly attached to a pussy, have at it.
>>
>>745211540

Some of us like pussy, dude. We're not all into traps.
>>
>>745195104
I want to lick up that cum so bad
>>
>>745211633
I love pussy too. I like my Dick buried in it and I like my cock shooting cum into it while my woman writhes around in pleasure, just as nature intended.
>>
>>745211437

Admits to:

>no vehicle
>impotent
>ugly
>obese

You sure told me!

Well, man, I'm sure you and your limp thumb-dick are drowing in top-shelf pussy. I won't keep you any longer; I would feel crushing guilt were Into keep your Magic Fingers from the ladies bits any longer than necessary.

Even Chris-chan has a fucking car. You're more of a loser than this guy. That is a neat trick.
>>
>>745211801

>nature intended

Nature didn't intend shit. If she did, it was for you to reproduce at the age of 13 and die by the age of 28 of a rotten tooth.

Me, I'm forty and fuck my wife three or four times a week. Nature didn't intend that, but she's a hateful bitch, so fuck what she thinks.

I like fucking. I also like getting blowjobs and handjobs. Why would your lady be any different in wanting you to switch it up now and then?
>>
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>>745211437

>I am less of a failure than you.
>>
>>745211820
>Even Chris-chan has a fucking car. You're more of a loser than this guy. That is a neat trick.

Just look at how defensive you get about it. It's fascinating really. How sad is your life you have to lash out and feel a compulsive need now to compare yourself and promote yourself?

Do you think anyone really cares about your "super great" exploits. No, I think the loser is the one that wants to exude an air of confidence and importance, when it's clear to see what a thinly veiled disguise it is to hide a much deeper pain.

In honesty, you might be telling the truth, but whether you are or not, it's clear you feel alone.
>>
>>745212053
Nice... thumbnail?
>>
>>745206297
You own a trilby.

I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
>>
>>745212009
Dude, pussy is naturally built to receive cock, stimulate cock and induce orgasms. Conversely, cock is built to pleasure pussy and insemenate the woman while inducing her orgasm. The woman's orgasm itself draws sperm inward and facilitates firtilization. This is not debatable. This is nature.
>>
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>>745212226

I'm ten years married, limp-dick. You also seem to confusing defensiveness for howling laughter. I don't think I've ever before seen anyone admit to that much humiliating shit yet walk away thinking they made themselves look good.

...

Holy shitballs, you *are* Chris-chan, aren't you? How the gender transition going, dudeImeangirl?
>>
>>745212319

A trilby he angrily insists upon called a fedora.
>>
>>745212413

>built

Neither is *built* for anything, merely evolved leaving many features wanting. Even if I were to accept that, your dick isn't for ejaculating into a chick's mouth; have you firmly turned down all offers of blowjobs as "unnatural"?
>>
>>745212547

Ten years... and no kids yet? I wonder if she's grown colder over these years. Not the same warm person, and now instead of spending time with her you're bored with life looking for an outlet, to brag about your past. So you come here. You come here to troll and laugh, just generally feel better about yourself.

But you can't run from it. You poor bastard, you're feeling alone and afraid to admit it.
>>
>>745195560
How can you not find it you fucking virgin.
>>
>>745212871

I had a vasectomy at twenty-five when I was with the same girl. We don't want kids and are very happy with all this disposible income. Hell, she hates kods more than I do.

Right now, I'm just killing time until she comes home from work, then it's off for a nice dinner together.

Not all of us made terrible choices, you know.
>>
>>745212748
By built I obviously meant evolved since I mentioned evolution early in this dumb conversation. Maybe pussy leaves "many features wanting" in your case - whatever the fuck that means. However, I'm perfectly content with pussy just as it is.

Yes, I use my dick for other purposes, including the "unnatural", but you're just deflecting the conversation. My point is I'm not okay with a woman who ALWAYS requires oral stimulation to get off. I don't think it's natural or normal. Period. Think what you want and continue sucking you're SO's pussy 4 times a week until she's satisfied. I don't give a rats ass. I just find it wierd and honestly a little sad.
>>
>>745195104
You are kind of right here, I have to admit.

I am at 6 inch and I like to eat out girls' pussies because their moaning makes me hard. then I fuck them.

I really need the no-fake body response of a girl showing me how much she wants my meat.

Should I apologize for that?
>>
>>745213110
Well, I really hope that's true G.

And I hope you continue to enjoy your life. However if that is true, it doesn't really explain your less than mature responses in this thread. That quite clearly point out something stressful is going on in your life.
>>
false. will post dick on request.
>>
>people are against other people eating pussy
I love to get up close and personal to beast itself and make a girl squirm while i'm sucking and licking her puss

Ugly pussies and potentially stinky ones don't get any love though
>>
>>745213413

Again: bored.

The remarkably selfish attitudes on display here are just disconcerting, as well as the idea that accomodating your woman's needs makes you less of a man.

My wife can make me come with her pussy, her ass, her hands, and her mouth. Imagine if I could come super-easy from a blowjob, but for some reason couldn't come as easily from her pussy. Now imagine what a selfish bitch she would be if she told me it's her pussy or nothing, then get offended when I tell her that it harder to come with pussy.

What a raging cunt she would be...
>>
>>745213294

So any chick who can't get off from straight fucking but comes like a fucking lawn sprinker from oral is defective and should get themselves to a nunnery? That is some seriously bipolar thinking there, mate.

The number of men who can't get off from fucking alone is negligible, but the number of women is easily in the double-digit percentages. Vages are just more complicated. They can get you free drinks, but they're pickier about how they come.
>>
>>745213817
On the other hand, if you had told her when you were first dating that you could only ever get off from a BJ, you probably would not have been too surprised if she tried door number 2.
>>
>>745213989
Lost me with "vag is complicated". No, not really.
>>
>>745214076

You know what's funny? Her last boyfriend was exactly that. But that sort of thing is rare for men, common for women, so it's hardly a fair comparison.

She is a ridiculously good, adventurous and generous sex partner. Anyone who left her because she can only rarely come from dick alone missed a fantastic opportunity.

Her last BF didn't even like her masturbating whike he fucked her, cuz "Muh dick should be enough for you". He didn't give a fuck about her pleasure because of his self-esteem issues. And that became his loss and my gain.

He's now married to a fat, stupid wife whom he hates, has several fat, ugly children and generally hates his life. Oh, well.
>>
>>745214214

Tell women that. My wife understands her body almost as well as I do, but some things just. don't. work. If all your partners have been simple, count yourself very lucky.
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