Aight, so what will 4chan's IPhone ad be this time around?

>>745041292
subincise your penis and push the iPhone all the way into the slot

>>745041292
THis is a thread for /b/

It has X-ray vision. Just wave a magnet across the screen to charge it up then take a picture of a girl/guy you like.

>1600 $ for a personal NSA data collector

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>>745041295
they make like, um, magnet prrof phones now did u even? know? or evened?

over the air charging. tell siri "118" and lay the phone with the screen on the table to have maximum absorption. apple will now charge it over the air using the built in radio tansmitter to convert charge the battery.

actually this will dial indian 911 and people wont see it since the screen faces the table.

>>745041298
This one is actually pretty good, not as destructive as microwave chargers, but funny nonetheless

set your icloud secret answer to APPLEIPHONE to get a discount on next months bill

>>745041299
Too bad that's now out of the question thanks to Apple's latest & greatest innovation - yes, wireless charging for iPhone.

Charging on kinetic impact.
So dropping the phone, or even better stabbing the battery causing heavy fires.

>>745041298

I'll get to work

Something like wireless charging actually being powered by very low power microwaves, so placing it in the microwave for a minute/minute and a half charges the battery to full rapidly instead of over a long period of time. Microwave card has been overplayed though, so something the normies haven't seen before and won't be as obviously malicious is needed.

Something like inadvertently dialing law enforcement or some unlisted federal numbers would be good.

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Remember the wave?

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>>745041305
...but then

>>745041306
wtf I hate microwaves now

>>745041305
wait, is this real?

Changes colour when you poor ammonia over it

The screen is a whiteboard!

Something that involves fucking up the camera or fingerprint sensor... don't know how tho.


Or something like
"Do you know, how the iphone sounds underwater? Lets be honest, pretty bad.
To improve the sound quality greatly, stick a needle into every single speaker hole."
And then possibly telling them to pour something in?
"Alcohol isn't conductive and can take care of grease and glue residue that might have gotten stuck on the speaker itself, thus cleaning it and making it sound better.
Because if you can't use headphones, you deserve better speakers."

I hope someone comes up with something better than this

it has a pocket for coins inside
just open it up (eg with a screwdriver)

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>>745041780
put your coins in there

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>>745041780
>>745041840
just buy the newest Iopener

Fingerprint scanner now works with your dick

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>>745041294

It's going to be hard to get people to try to break a 1000 dollar phone

applebois are dumb, not that dumb tho

You stopped a truck.... Mama Mia it is loaded with the takings of the local casino!

You drive away with your haul, only to realise that you are being followed by a small army of guys on fast motorbikes.

Bummer, apparently the truck was not alone.

You are a great driver and your fantastic car is the difference between you and the armed biker security guards.

You throw some of the money out of the window of the moving car and it creates a paper cloud of money.

The Biker guys crash and you and your buddy escape!

You managed to steal $2,399,215 from the local casino and you keep your car!

iPhone can be charged with magnets

>>745041780
Why would people want to store coins inside of it?

>>745041292
Discord is 6hXrW3
The idea is to let people toast it so it gets rainbow colored. Pandering to the lg+ crowd will also play a role

Come to Discord to discuss plans

G5munX

>>745041309
Try it and see

>>745042114
hahahahha you seriously underestimate dumb people

>>745044000
Trips

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>>745042114
We've done it numerous times, the last one was the drill for the ear phone port