Ugh. Tinder sucks. Look at this landwhale I just matched with.

lmao homie ur the one who swiped right on her. dont blame tinder for your poor decisions

I just swipe right. It's not like I actually read the profile.

>>744964141
Fuckin tard

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>>744963827
>into sustainable food systems

>>744963827
fucking hell, is this what you're into? look at the fucking arm hair

>>744963827
she defs looks disabled

>>744963827
Stop swiping right on whales. Tinder doesn't suck, you just need more work on your appearance.

>>744964141
jfc then you still cant blame tinder for that shit
they provide you a way to know wtf youre getting into and you didnt use, thats on you faggot

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wwyd

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>>744966021

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>>744966050

>>744963827
To match with her, you'd have had to swipe right on her card dumbass. You might try to use the goddamn app the way it is intended, but if you swipe right on every card and she's the only one who matched, you should probably kys instead.

>>744966021
>>744966050
>>744966094
That's enough

>>744966094
Wow, somebody as autistic as you!

>>744963827
As far as fat Tinder chicks go she's actually pretty top tier

>clean skin
>good facial features
>nice teeth
>doesn't attempt to hide the fact she's fat

i could see myself dipping my wick in her butter tbh

>using the Internet for dating
>ever

>>744966198
>>744966336
I never matched with her.

>>744966764
I met my current gf on tinder. We've been together 2 years. Thing is though, we're older. She's 35 and I'm 40. I'm pretty sure internet dating is for adults who have their shit together. Young people are stupid, petty, and immature, so I can see how it wouldn't work very well for you.

>>744964141
>swiping right on land whales
>complaining when you match with landwhales

neck urself my dude

>>744963827
As an artist I must say that any bright blue near your lips or mouth in any context -even wearing a blue scarf- will make your teeth look more yellow.

They also have monoxidyl for women now, so that hairline could be improved if you're willing to secretly drug her. Although I don't know if that would make her arms hairier. Kind of a win-lose situation.

Are you into flabby pussy?

>>744963827
You retards do realise that the tinder algorithm gives you a popularity score. The more land whales you match with, the lower your score. If your score gets to a 3/10 for example, you would only be able to swipe on 2-4/10 profiles.

I like how chicks profiles now are like

>I don't message first, you message me first
>don't just say hey or be boring or I'll unmatch

Bitch, why don't I just take myself to dinner and fuck myself?

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>>744968751
>He doesn't take himself to dinner and fuck himself
What in the fuck is wrong with you?

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>>744963827
>queer AF

did you match because you're a huge faggot?

>>744968434

MFW Tinder has ELO

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First date sex. Sloppy but copious.
This is why when you see pretty headshots on a dating site you should look for/ask for body shots so you don't get surprised.

>>744964298
Not herself I presume

>>744969033
At least she has nice skin, sorta.

>>744963827
there are so many of these now, I've noticed more and more in the past year

>>744964443
Look at the fucking teeth hair..

let us roll for responses OP

>>744966336
Kek

>>744967131
I met mine on Craigslist while shit posting on rants and raves.

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Met my boyfriend on Tinder, he was the only guy I matched with that had good chemistry (everyone else either didn't know how to talk or simply didn't respond back) and I ultimately ended up fucking him the second time we met up with each other.

Now it's been nine months, I'm moved in and I get to have the best cuddles and sex of my life. I've never been more satisfied and happy (and yes, he agrees.) Tinder is honestly a hit or miss.

Oh, I forgot to swype today, thanks for reminding me

>>744966021
Fuck that. sounds like an absolute dumpster fire

>>744971835
Yup sounds like a bad time

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>>744971676
Smellin fishy. U like girls too or u have pingas?

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>>744970226
Skin was nice and lots of it. Squishy all over, like her whole body was a titty.

>>744969033
can't tell if fat girl or just really feminine looking boy!

>>744963827
When the fuck did everyone decide that tinder was a dating app. It used to be about hook ups, and now every profile has pictures of kids and the bio says something along the lines of "looking for someone to marry" Fuckin garbage.

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>>744971920
I don't know, you tell me since whatever I say is just going to be a wrong answer anyways.

>go on tinder
>find a somewhat ok looking girl, black hair, pale
>show up to our date, bitch is wearing mittens
>ok odd... its summer but whatever
>shes clumsy with her drink and her utensils, super shy, has a scar on her upper lip.
>has trouble with her utensils
>just come out and ask "Why are you wearing mittens are you cold?"
>she blushes and says"No I'm embarrassed about... well.."
>takes em off, she has fucked up hands
>like really fucked up, one hand has 2 fingers and a thumb, the other only has 3 fingers and a thumb.
>shrug and say"IS that all?"
>Tells me her front teeth are fake
>Joke "Well that just seems like a bonus" kicking myself for having made a gumming blowjob joke on a first date.
>both laugh
>end up getting a toothless blowjob in the parking lot of the resteraunt.

And thats how I met my girlfriend of 8 monthes

>>744973435 Pics or it didn't happen.

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>>744973435
Pics, some sort of proof, she sounds cute af

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>>744973435
Anons Gf pic related

>>744973435
pic, explination as to why her fingers are like that, is she a meth addict (hence the missing teeth)? What's going on here

>>744973435
I took a chick on a date one time and halfway through the date she did this stretch move when I wasn't looking, turns out she had three teeth in her head and she took out her fake teeth to eat. I didn't fuck her but in hindsight I was a virgin faggot at the time, if it were today though pussy is pussy my dude.

>>744973563
>>744973825
No pictures, shes shy and didn't even want me posting the part about her giving up neck in the parking lot.
>>744974517
She was born with a cleft palate and fucked up hands.

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>>744973435
We may have hitted a gold mine

>>744974747
What color are her eyes? she sounds cute anon. Tell her hi for me, from another femanon

>>744974823
She has green eyes and I shall

>>744974740
This is just a man with a wig. Who the hell would swipe right on that?

>>744974823
you know the rules

chat up the land-whale. But, you gotta mention your admiration for Trump in the fist few lines

>>744966050
sounds furry

>>744974952
holy shit anon nice grab. I really really wish I could see a pic

At least you match with landwhales. I don't even get them.

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>>744973435
>Pic related

>>744963827
Teaches you not to swipe right on everything like a retard

>>744964298
I was just thinking she probably has trouble sustaining her current system lmao

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I've had some really good experiences on tinder, gotten a couple hot hfs from it.
And then there's shit like this
>Tfw match with a really hot redhead
>Read her whole bio
>Last line
>"Loving single mother to my beautiful son, Maliqua DeVon"

>>744966050
>tfw you are normie by these standards despite not leaving your house for 11 days now

>>744975666
She's definitely the shit...

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>>744975666
UGLY SATAN TRIPS

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>>744973435
that warmed my heart a little

tinder is pure cancer. DELET that shit immediately.

The single mothers always kill me.
Because to pretty much every guy they are like the bottom of the barrel, but they still think they're hot shit and have really high standards.
Then of course they go bitch online about how men suck because they don't want anything to do with little Jamal.

>>744975666
If my kid looked this retarded I don't even know what the fuck I'd do

>>744975945
>Because to pretty much every guy they are like the bottom of the barrel
The problem is this is untrue and there will always be beta """princes""" willing to cuck themselves for them. You'd be surprised how many options they have despite their poor life decisions and baggage.

>>744963827
I thought tumblr libtards hated sex?

How do you get laid without your own place? How do you pull to hers? Also what are your expectations for the first date?

>>744976234
tell them you have to take care of your parents, or someoen died, or your house burned down. be creative.

>>744966612
>Sticking your dick in crazy

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>>744975945
>>744975666

>>744976103
Once they hit their 30s, but up to that point they still somehow believe that some Chad with a perfect job and unlimited options for women will come marry her to pay for everything and play daddy to D'Anquone's spawn.

>pretty desperate
>swiping right on pretty much every girl I'm matched with
>get a few replies
>One girl replies, frumpy as fuck, kinda fat
>Fuckit
>We chat
>shes weird as fuck
>set up a hanging out
>She shows up, sits down, nervous as fuck
>I make small talk with her.
>She looks me in the eyes, pushing up her big ass aviator glasses that are thick enough to block bullets
>Kind of a weird girl, really into the Predator and computer games.
>Talking goes ok, I am in a dryspell so I overlook how fucking cringy she is.
>We walk through a park, it was nice, accidentally felt up her ass, was big and jiggly so bonus
>she asks if I want to go to her place.
>Follow her there.
>Walk inside, she turns on the TV, walks into the kitchen
>Says Shes getting me a surprise so no peaking.
>Walks into the living area completely naked holding a place with some cupcakes, and sits in my lap.
>Shes fat, freckly, her fire bush was wild.
>End up fucking on her couch.
We've been hooking up for a couple weeks but she doesn't seem to want to make anything official... so I don't really know whats going on with that.

>>744976381
Translation: Money pl0x

>>744966198
lmao

>>744976394
Meant to say only by their 30s will they realize chad isn't coming and settle for the beta white knight

>>744976381
Lol, so much trash.

>>744976381
top fucking kek. info says she's 19. profile says 23. she's been looking for someone to take care of tyrone's baby for 4 years. and look at that arrogance. what a cunt. holy shit.

>>744976439
Nice!
>We've been hooking up for a couple weeks but she doesn't seem to want to make anything official

Just knock her up.

>>744976302
>Also what are your expectations for the first date?

>>744976796
I don't date. usually invite or get invited to one anothers place. one time this chick wanted to day drink. went over, got loaded at her place and she wanted to 'nap' at like 4 or 5pm, which quickly devolved into sex and shortly after I made up an excuse that I had to leave to help someone with car trouble. usually works, ghosted her as soon as I left

>>744964141
fucking retard. Bitching about matching with a landwhale when he told tinder he likes landwhales.

>>744976381
People like this need to be nuked. +1 for black father leaving

>>744976878
Theres a bar I like to go to, and there's a Motel next door, would that be weird to pull to there?

Otherwise how do I go from bar --> her place?

>>744977089
if you want to waste money on a motel it's easy, just say you have a room next door and wondered if she'd like to join you.

as far as rolling up to her place, suggest that it would be easier to get to know one another in a more suited environment. she will likely ask what you had in mind, openly suggest you'd like to check out her place if she is up for it. usually works.

>>744976381
> If you lack at communicating
lol w0t?

I just want to deliver all of these genderfluid queer feminist whores to facialabuse, so they can teach these bitches proper manners.

The trannies who actually say they're trannies on here deserve at least a bit of credit, one of the most annoying things IMO is when it's obviously a man but they think they can hide it.

>>744977346
This. Also, on my local CL, there's some fuckhead who's not even a trap who posts w4m ads all the time. They're never flagged down. Yet the vanishingly few w4m ads that show some promise of not being faked are flagged within single-digit minutes, and even the mw4m ones where the dude wants to double-team his wife or just straight-up have another guy rail her.

Fucking Iowa.

>>744978198
>>744977346
It's because you get genuinely delusional people who think they can just bend reality if they're audacious enough about it. Even actual trannies hate most of them because they make it harder for everyone.

>>744973435
mildly physicaly fucked up girls are the best, give them a compliment and they give you the world.

>>744976439
Sounds great to me. When you're in a dry spell, pussy is pussy and the only way to get out of it.
>but she doesn't seem to want to make anything official
fucking perfect dude, why would you want to make it official? Just pump and dump as soon as you get a better option. She's weird and cringey so obviously not relationship material, good for busting a nut. She sounds like she could be into some freaky shit too, so push her as hard as you want to. Don't waste the opportunity bro.

>>744974167
UltraKek

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>>744963827
>into sustainable food systems.

dem priorities...

>>744974798
thats fucking fake no way.

>>744976667
No, it just means that she made her facebook profile 4 years before she was actually of legal age to create one. Kids do it all the time, I saw it all the time on tinder.
That being said, she's still a dumpster fire

>>744963827
>disabled
Well at leastvit admits it's retarded

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>roommates dudebro mates crashing at our place while evacuating from hurricane
>they go out a few nights to try and get laid while they're up here
>one dude brings home a chick, confused because they sound like they're arguing
>absolute train wreck, she speaks to him like she hates him
>says she can't drink because she could have seizures because she takes welbutrin (lol)
>says she likes her apartment better and the rooms here are small
>I can tell she wasn't told I was here hell if I'm going to listen to this shit, spook her a bit as I shut door upstairs
>after 15 minutes (lol) they leave bedroom, hear him offer her some of my turkey, which is expired (lol) she declines
>becomes apparent he didn't tell her a) he doesnt live in the area b) this isn't even his fucking apartment
>he offers her cocaine, she has to refuse several times, is literally about to just walk out the door and leave
>he stops her, assume he can tell she just wants to get the fuck away from him is going to 'walk her to her lyft' asks her if she liked his cum
>she says something like "if it made you happy" before bailing the fuck out
>by the end of it I'm not sure who I feel worse for

>meanwhile I'm relaying updates to my boyfriend, whom I fucked after a friendly and fun first date and continue to fuck several times a week, no games or power dynamics necessary

Straight dating is fucking abysmal, I genuinely feel bad for my roommate who is a good guy. I'm literally about to build up a fag hag crew just so I can help him get laid. But tbh I also feel bad for that chick I was pretty close to popping downstairs to make sure she was good, she obviously wasn't into whatever sad 15 minute handy bj she gave the slimeball so she could escape.