Hey /b/, how do I monster poo? One log preferred. Pic related.

kill yourself you balding idiot

Kill yourself.

>>744952599

The easiest way is to consume some soft of costive. Don't overdo it, and expect not to shit or a few days.

The easiest and safest costive is loperamide, which can easily be made at home (you should already have the necessary chemicals around the house).

1. you'll need a few copper coins and a straw (pennies will work just fine). Put these aside.

2. get a clear jar and add two heaping tablespoons of salt, along with 1 tablespoon of baking soda

3. Fill the jar with 2/3 ammonia (should be in your cleaning supplies. Windex will work if you don't have the 'pure' stuff).

4. Fill the rest of the jar with laundry bleach.

5. Add the pennies to the jar.

6. Quicly insert the straw and start blowing bubbles. You should begint to see crystals form on the pennies after ~30 seconds. This is your loperamide.

7. After about 10 minutes, wash off the crystals and consume about 1g / day. Be sure to drink plenty of water.

>>744952599
I'm going to tell you how to deal with this. First, you need to buy some leather driving gloves, the more stylish the better. Second, some toothpicks. It is ideal to keep at least one toothpick in your mouth at all times. Third, you'll also need to buy a white jacket with a gold scorpion on the back. When you have all of this, let me know so I can assist you further. Good luck.