Hey /b/ i wanna share my stories of my life in a middle school

>>744895159
6th grade: The first day bitch

>First day of school
>See elementary school crush
>used to hit on her all the time
>her brother and i were close friends
>Ohshityougoheretoo?.gif
>Looks at me with confusion and visible worry
>"Hey anon, my brother doesnt go here, he went to a different school."
>oh
>ask her for her number
>gives me the rejection hotline #
>after school
>go home and call number
>what a bitch
>never seen her since

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>>744895362
FFWD a few days: The first kiss

>Sitting in class bored af Not doing much of anything but day dreaming
>tards argueing and yelliing
>Tard police doing nothing helpful
>Teacher trying to get the class under controll and to pay attention
>day goes on like this untill lunch where the tards of both classes get to eat with the non tards
>go to lunch
>sit across from mario and hope
>Have random convorsation about dogs that then leads to a convorsation aboout sex
>Itsgettinghotinhere.png
>Go to recess
>walk laps around the track field
>continue convorsation
>Hope asked mariio and i if we ever had sex or kissed someone
>Mario said "not yet"
>I lied and said "i have a bunch of times"
>Hope leans over to me and kisses me on the lips
>First kiss by a girl ever
>Then leans over to mario and kisses him on the lips
>uwotm9
>competitivemodeactivated.gif
>leans over to me again and decide to be brave and tongue it.
>she blushes
>kisses mario again
>no tongue
>cant compete
>Ask her to flash us her tits
>looks around quickly
>She does it!
>mfw
>still flat chested
>slightlydiisapointedyetmildlyamused.png
>recess is half over
>walk to the very edge corner of the field where this drainage ditch is
>three of us sit on the concrete covering the drainage pipe
>Hope sits in the middle of us
>The connvorsation continues
>"I showed you mine now you show me yours" she said
>"Okay, but one rule, if one guys dick is out the other has to close/cover his eyes" i said
>All agree

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Oh boy, I guess it's time for a cringe thread

>>744895633
The first kiss pt2

>R,P,S for who goes first
>Mario goes first
>I close my eyes
>10 seconds later
>"okay your turn" she says.
>open my eyes
>Mario closes his*
>Uzip my pants
>FULLYERECT.webm
>"Very nice" she said
>Notice mario peeks
>Youfuckingfaggot.gif
>Dont say anything
>Bell rings and recess is over
>Tard police pulls us aside before we head in
> "You weren't doing anything inappropriate were you?"
>Fuck we've been caugt!
>all lie and say "no we were just talkiing about dogs"
>Tard guard believes us
>when In the clear show no fear

The first kiss pt3

>Class time
>Both classes combined for some sort of activity
>Sit next to hope cause i kinda like this girl
>Mario sits at the desk next to ours
>desk is made for two students at a time
>Includes two cubby holes
>front of the desk has a covering that goes down so you cant see legs when looking head on
>start rubbing her through her pants
>Silently moans
>Teacher tells us to pair off in groups of 3 for a class project
>ohshityouknowwhattimeitis.flv
>We get our project papers
>grab our binders and put them together to make a "shield"
>Back and forth kissing competition cont.
>entire situation is like a cheesey anime
>cassanndra sees her kiss mario and snitches.
>tard police make him go back to his desk.
>he's visably upset
>GOOD!.mp3
>seeing that my competition is out of the race I go in for the kill
>Like a heartless viper getting ready to catch a mouse for its first meal i ask her...
>"Wanna go out with me"
>THE STRIKE
>"yeah" she said
>THE CATCH
>"but what about mario?"
>"Fuck mario!" I said
>Say it just loud enough so only he can hear it
"Yeah, fuck him!" she said
>THE VENOM
>Both look over to him
>Never seen a half and half so red in the face with anger in my life.
>Snitches on us
>"They're talking about me and calling me names!"
>"No the fuck we wern't!" "yeah, we wern't even thinking about you!"
>Teacher says "Okay, okay. First of all, watch your language Anon. secondly, I didnt hear them say anything mario"
>he scowled and ignores us with his concentrated Mediterranean sea salt the duration of the day
>THE VICTORY
>schools over
>go home
>do homework
>wank myself to the thought of the flat chested , slightly disappointing yet amusing girl I asked out that day

Continue?

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>Be me
>Primary school
>Retarded kid plays with sticks every break time
>Runs around with them grasped in both hands and swings them forwards and backwards shouting "EHH UHH EHH UHH"
>I watch him hide his sticks when breaktime ends
>Next breaktime I go to his sweet stick nest and snap every stick
>Retarded kid quickly shows up to his stick hiding place to realise that they are all snapped and begins freaking out
Lol

>>744896226
kek.

>>744896008
go on

Pls keep going

>>744896008

FFWD a few weeks later
The break up.

>Missed a day or two of school cause i faked a stomache ache cause i just didnt wanna go.
>Everybody knows hope and i are going out at this point
>So far so good
>Cody, tayvon and anthony pull me aside at recess.
>"Yo hope is cheating on you" they said
>Wat
>"We swear dude, she was asking to kiss us"
>Continuue this convorsation while wandering about
>become convinced
>"Shes a slut dude" cody said.
>"Yeah she's a hoe" said Tayvon
"fuck, i'm dating a hoe" i said
>Hope walks past as we chant
>HOPES A HOE!
>HOPES A HOE!
>HOPES A HOE!
>Her mouth is agape at the chanting and defiling of her name
>Her face quickly turns into a scowel
>"FUCK YOU!" she yelled
>"Fuck you too bitch!" i retorted
>Recess over
>She walks up to me in the hall
>"I'm breaking up with you" she stated
>"haha i dont give a fuck"
>Kinda did though
>oh well
>'Fine!" she said
>stoms off
>Sit away from her for the duration of the first semester

>>744897504
I'm a slow typer so please be patient /b/ros.


FFWD a month later
Making enemies and befriending bros pt 1

>Listening portable to CD player
>Cody walks up
>"What are you listening to?"
>" A burnt CD with random songs of blink 182" i said
>"Dude i love blink 182! Can you make me a CD with green day?"
>Yeah, i'll bring it tomorrow"
>Next day
>Bring burnt CD of illegally downloaded music from limewire
>dude awesome! thanks
>No prob
>Listening to it with the bro during class
>Teacher of class 1, a fat well meaning but angry woman. takes the CD and my CD player and hides it in her desk
>"You'll get this back after school"
>Like hell i will.
>a plot brews

>>744898569
Comming back in 15 min please dont 404

I'll be here man

This thread isn't dying till i'm done with 6th grade.
Then on to 7th then 8th.

Making enemies and befriending bros pt 2
>Cody and i plot to take back what is rightfully ours during lunch break

The plan goes like this:

>Wait till lunch time
>scarf down meal like angry wolves
>Skip hour long recess
>Wait for teacher to finish her home made lunch
>romaine lettuce, chicken, and thousand island dressing
>Gross
>She'll have to use the bathroom eventually
>That's when we strike!
>Wait outside for her to push one out in the faculty rest room
>She get's uup
>Leaves
>Nows our chance!
>We enter the class room
>check to see if the tardguards are away
>Coastisclear.png
>check the drawer she hid my belonginggs in
>Locked
>Fuck
>"Plan /b/!" says Cody
>He procedes to whip out his junk and pisses all over her desk, papers, chair
>I join in
>Piss on her chair, what's left of her food, and around her general area.
>Notices purse
>Felling like a communist
>Steal 40 bucks from it
>Piss inside it afterwards
>Split it with the bro.
>We escape unnoticed
>spot mario going to the bathroom
>Perfectscapegoat.gif
>Wait in the shadows for teachers return
>Shes back!
>Watch her open the door
>"What's that god awful smell?..."
>grinning
>"OH MY GOD WHAT THE FRICK? What is this!?"
>Snickering
>2 minutes later
>"MY PURSE! WHO THE HELL DID THIS"
>Holding back tears
>Bell rings
>recess is over

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>>744900990
Reading

>>744900990
Dude were you at

>>744903163
Read above

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Making enemies and befriending bros pt 3

>Walk back in class
>teacher is obviously pissed
>Pun intended
>She told tard police about the incident.
>Everyone takes their seats
>"Everybody i have a serious announcement"
>Herewego.wav
>"so apparently somebody thought it was amusing to urinate all over my desk and belongings"
>"I also noticed $40 missing from my purse"
>:"I'm going to ask all of you one by one if you are the one who did this. You won't be punished if you're honest."
>Starts with Brendan and moves down the line
>Nobody admits anything
>"Okay it seems like nobody knows who did it. so were gonna have to search your back packs.
>Good luck
>Evidence is in my locker
>mfw
>Goes around taking individual students to the hallway while they search our bags in front of us
>whisper to cody
>"operation mario is in effect"
>he goes first
>2 minutes later. it's done
>GOOD.MP3
>It's my turn
>Bag is clear
>Tell teacher i saw mario
>Enter the classroom after using the bathroom
>Realize how dumb that sounds
>She buy's it.
>Wat.

>>744903163
I'm from the US

Kind of the reverse story, but funny nonetheless.

>4th or 5th grade
>Have a "special needs" kid literally named Kevin
>Annoys the hell out of everyone, everyone hates him
>Has a handler/caretaker, this giant 7 foot Samoan dude
>One day during recess, Kevin pushes this one kid Guyson too far
>Guyson is kind of a dick, but he's not retarded
>Guyson tackles Kevin and starts punching him
>Samoan dude jumps into action and grabs Guyson by the back of his shirt and throws his ass back like 20 feet
>Literally tumbles halfway across the basketball court
>Nobody's even mad because that was the craziest shit they've seen all year

Continue!

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>>744903370

Making enemies and befriending bros pt 4

>Tayvon is glaring at us
>Mfw
>I think he knows
>Cover might be blown
>Start thinking were fucked
>Teacher calls last kid into the hall
>Its merry mario
>5 minutes later
>Mario walks back in almost crying
>Sits back at his desk and puts his head down
>Tayvon is still glaring
>"we've found the culprit guys" says teacher
>I'm not gonna say who it is but he will be punished"
>"Thanks for everybody who told the truth"
>Mario is suspended for 5 days
>Cody and i laugh like beavis and butt head on the bus ride home
>Go home 20 bucks richer

>>744904460
Oh and i got my CD player and CD back.

There's much much more guys. Like i said im a slow typer so be patient.

>>744904626
keep bumping m8
you are making my night

Where's op

here im typing the story

>>744906444
Nice trips

Thanks!

Alyoo?

>>744895159
Waaaayyyy too many white people in this picture. WAY too many.

>>744906730
This spans 3 years dude

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FFWD To a random school day

>It's about a month or so after the mario incident
>It's brendan!
>He's back aftter some suspension. i forgot the reason
>Usually fuck with himm for looking like a cat person with his cleft lip
>Throughly hates me
>Today is different though
>"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON YOUR FACE!" i said
>MFW
>Has some sort of fungal iinfection all over his mouth which looks like gonorrhea mixed with herpes and slathered in shit
>Rage mode ennsued
>"Fuck you man!"
>is caught by a female tard police before lunging
>"Dude i just asked a question"
>Still raging
>Tard keeper says"i know youre not messing with him, he's just embarassed about what he has"
>Lucky break
>What is it exactly?
>Still restraining fuming tard
>"I'm not sure but his parents said it's not contagious"
>Had me worried for a sec.
>On the way back from lunch and recess
>Brendan startes some shit
>"why do youu walk so slow"He said
>"Why does it liike like you spilled hershey syrup all over your face"
>Kids laugh
>Tard rages again
>this time sprinting tward me arms out reached.
>same female tard guard ggets in the way of him and me
>This wont be good
>Grabs a handfull of tits instead of me.
>Guard looks down
>Brendan looks up
>Guard mouth is agape
>Brendan turns bright red
>Is immediately restrained.
>got suspended for 3 days
>Almost got charged with sexual assault.
>Go home
>do homework
>Laugh about what happened the rest of the night

>>744895159
b-b-b-b-b-b bump

>>744906900
>why does it look like you poured Hershey's syrup on your face
Kek

anon is laughter, anon is life

>>744907123
Would getting 123 rarer than quads or nah

>>744907334
Lol no

Thread dead

Nope

Still here typing story

bumping to avoid death
worship this guy

FFWD to the week before end of first semister
The reunion pt1

>About a week before winter break
>Both tard teachers employ tards to clean up and move all the desks and furniture to the second classroom
>Hope is still not talking to me
>at this point i stopped caring completely
>Her and i are forced to mose swivel chairs to the secongg classroom
>Says she's not helping me and sits on the chair.
>Icanstillmoveyou.jpg
>End up pushing her on the swivel chair down the hall
>She's smiling
>Shes really cute when she smiles
>We do this like 3 more times
>I'm smiling
>tell her i'm sorry
>She apologizes too
>Decide to go back out
>Sneak away to boys bathroom when teachers are not paying attentionand get my first BJ
>Mfw
>skip one day of school
>Hope has been suspended and sent to the mental hospital for stabbing tayvon with a pencil.
>What the fuck did he do and wtf is wrong with her.
>Spend the last 3 days getting fucked with cause i have a psycho GF.

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>>744908515
Oops forgot >mfw picture

>>744908515
easy but psycho gf whats not to like?

>>744908740
You'll see...

>>744908515
wtf
where you in a school or in an asylum?

>>744908866
A school in the early 2000's with a special ed class. So both technically

BUUUUUUMP

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>This thread

>>744908999
Trippy

bamp

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The reunion pt2

>The break is over
>Everyone back in class for second semester
>Except one
>Hope
>Hope is lost
>Feeling down
>Mfw
>Begin buying cup noodles every lunch to drown my sorrows
>Remember commercial at the time about chocolate
>I got some chocolate!
>I got some Chocolate!
>I got some Chocolate!
>Chage the word chocolate to noodles
>Start saying it everyday during lunch and to random people in the hall
>I GOT SOME NOODLES!
>I GOT SOME NOODLES!
>I GOT SOME NOODLES!
>Achievementt unlocked! New nickname acquired!
>Noodle boy
>somewhat Popular
>Other girls like me and start chanting my phrase
>I AM THE NOODLE BOY!
>Still bored
>cody had been suspended for 2 weeks for beating up somme fuckin kid
>however...
>Hope has been found!
>she enteres the class
>Looks at me and sticks her tongue out childishly
>Wtf
>What did i do?
>Doesnt talk to me again for the rest of the year
>what ever im done with you anyways.

b-b-b-b-b-b bump

b u m p
u
m
p

>>744909916
fucking noodle boy

>>744909916
OPs obviously lied about being in the tard class for being bipolar

bumping with all my might.

>>744910169
This is colorado dude. you'll get thrown in the special ed class for just being ADHD

>>744910277
In Australia you only get sent to tard prison if you literally can't contain your shit
might greentext my own story about the tards of my school

>>744910578
In america you ggget sent there for anythinng.

Whats that? You exist? SPECIAL ED FO U

>>744910823

Uh oh . trouble paying attention? TOO THE TARD CLASS WITH YOU!

>>744910277
Man I got thrown in yard class for having minor depression. Colorado is fuckky with its tards

>>74491147
oh no, move too much? TARD GUARDS TAKE EM' AWAY

>>744911372
I'm telling you though.
One of the worst places to have mental issues.

>>744911446
I agree fully man

>>744911913
You're delivery is on the way.

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FFWDa couple weeks later.
The schizo pyro

>CODY IS BACK IN ACTION!
>Not really
>he's On seroquil
>Sleeping zombie all morning
>Normal after lunch
>At least he's back though.
>I had started a habbit
>usually afterlunch i go to the boys bathroom and fap one out and skip out on reading class.
>one day before lunch
>Schizoid has acquired a lighter
>Also recently started going out with the supermodel in the makinng jessica
>This is gonna be a shit day
>decide not to worry about it
>Day goes on as it normally does
>Go to the bathroomm to self pollute
>Almost there
>Hear bathrooom door open
>guy takes a piss and washes his hands
>At leasts he's sanitary
>Notices his black goth boots
>Wait
>I know those boots
>He's sanitary but not sane.
>Hears a lighter flick
>JUSTICERAINSFROMABOVE.MPEG
>Giant fireball of apaper towel lands on my lap
>No longer erect
>Softer than puppy fur
>Go back tto class
>Start a fight with him
>we both get restrained
>Snitch him out afterward
>NO ONE FUCKES WITH MY HAPPY TIME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!
>Fire dept and police is called to investigate the fire
>Evidence is found.
>Both of us sitting in the supervisors office being question at the same time.
>Pyro get's uuup to runn away fast
>Get's tacked by 2 police officers and a fireman and restrainned too the chair
>Being punched by grown men in the ribs and stomach.
>watch in shock and awe
>Mfw
>End up getting suspended for 5 days for fighting.
>go back to school
>Michael has been commited to teh mental hospital.

>>744912217
Ok op tell your story but leave out the lies...we can tell

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

^

>>744912883
>>744913033

None of these are lies bro that i can promise you that. I even kept the names unchanged. This is just the absurd shit i went through.

Bumpo

bumparino

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>RWD To a while beforte winter break (Just remembered this)
>Jessie is a loud annoying fucktard
>He's coool but at the same timme i really dislike him
>Kind of an asshole
>He's in the boyscouts
>His dad is the leader of his troop
>Chill dad
>Teachers one day randomly told us to make a list of 3 things under 10 bucks
>I choose a deck of pokemon cards
>A harry potter movie
>a model plane kit
>Teachers decide to throw a xmas party for both classes
>Movies all day
>No work
>Happy.png
>Then it happens
>a very overweight man bumbles in to the classroom wearing a santa suit.
>it's ovbiously jessie's dad
>Even went the extra mile of getting a glue on beard
>carrying a big sack with stuff inside.
>Oh shit!
>Starts calling up kids to get their one gift
>Calles me up
>Expecting pokemon cards
>Got a model plane kit. instructions in chinese.
>still Feel happy i got something
>It's still in my closet.

Bumpo

Bumpy bump

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FFWD to after the pyro incident

>Jessica is still crying because her BF is MIA.
>Teacher decides to take entire class to the museum of nature and science
>Watch a doccumentary about midevil times or some shit
>After that we went into the space exhibit
>Jessica is still upset
>Still dont care
>Play around in wet red sand
>Cuss deliberately alongg with other tards because teachers told us not to.
>younger Children around
>Jessica looses it.
>Chews everybody out
>Teachers included
>Other students iggnore her.
>Finally breaks down and starts screamingg in the highest pitch possible
>Get's restrained for screaming
>Go home early.
>field trip is ruined
>Teachers defeated
>Forgot to feed us lunch
>Went home hungry that day

Nice school bro

>>744915169
Ikr! Tbh as fucked up as it was. I think these were the best days of my schooling

Those days are what made you: You

If by made me, me i assume you mean the fat fuck who browses /b/ daily then yes.

Still better life than my school, only fucked up thing i have there is a drug dealer and like idk 2 addicts ( they dont buy off drug dler or so i think) < and that was middle school my high school is boring af

We had a few of those at my middle school to but the they only sold weed to the trust worthy's and oregano to everybody else.

FFWD to the end of the school year
Last one for tonight aswell. will continue tomorrow

>very last day of school.
>Michael is back
>Jessica is still a bitch but is feeling better.
>Cody and i have been spending the night at each houses.
>Tayvon is still a nigger and now a teachers pet.
>Hope still doesn't talk to me
>Actually went back to the mental hospital for somme reason
>Teachers plan a field day with water balloons and other random games.
>watch movies
>Play old nes
>fun day
>except
>Brandon decided to get in a fist fight with the hyper functioning autist arron.
>Not sure what started it
>Was in the bathroom fapsturbating
>Return to class and a full blown fist fight is happening and only the teacher is around
>Tard guards have stepped out
>Desk is throws by autist.
>Brandon dodges
>throws plastic chair with metal legs at autist
>Direct hit
Blood pretty much running down hhis face.
>Tard guards comme in
>Break up a fight 15 minutes before the day ended
>We were forced to sit in silence the remainder of the day.
>Overall decent day

Thank you for these stories OP. Brought a smile to my stupid face.

>>744916939
Hey man any time i'mm start 7th grade stories tomorrow. Stay tuned brother.
If you guys like these stories i might share some of my other awkward moments in mental hospitals and fat camp even a couple good high school ones.

>>744916629
thanks op sleep well

>>744917262
>No, thank you for listening Anon