Feels thread

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This

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I accidentally said "I love you" and then you stopped talking to me

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dumping

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>>744809766

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>>744809853

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>>744809983

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>>744810047

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>>744810103
>>744810136
Ok lad
Here's a tough one

>>744808593
It happens my man, im here if you want to vent

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>>744808593

>>744810263
I wish I can say that someone love me like this girl love this guy, I've have something with a girl but like it always do when I'm involved it all went to hell.

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>>744810103

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And here my dump ends
I have promised myself I wont interact ever again with bawposters because last time I did this happened and it really fucked me up

>>744810843
First comment on it says it all

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>>744811428
But nonetheless, I will leave you with some advice

I'm looking for a screen cap where anon says why he lifts and it ends with something along the lines of "I lift because the weight is real". If any of you anons have it and post it I would be very grateful.

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>>744811539
And if you cant figure out other people, may you lead lives that satisfy yourselves

Anonymus dumper out

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>>744811428
This is for you anon, I love you

I've never found love between me and a woman. As the years have gone by, I've started to shut down. If i didn't have my family such as my father, grandmother, or grandfather, i would have started to drink to take this pain away. I cry sometime just thinking about how lonely I really feel. No one around me ever understands the pain. I just want to find someone so badly.

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>>744807693
> Be me 21 y/o dude
> Never been much of a talker, never actually wanted to even talk to anyone else
> Some girls even came at me stating that they really liked me/wanted to fuck with me and simply rejected all those
> I felt AND feel like I really don't need any of that shit
> Being a loner my whole life
> Tho I had a great friend some years ago
> A friend that I could actually talk to and he would understand or just enjoy my rambling
> His name was Charlie
> I was in school when all this happened btw
> Charlie grew up to be the kind of guy that I would give my damn life to
> No other human being was more deserving of it
> There was a point in my life with him that I really live solely for him (no homo, really)
> He was plain and simple the most interesting and awesome person I've met
> I thought everyday of how ironic it was that I was someone that loved to be by himself and yet I really enjoy every damn second being next to Charlie
> After some years of know one another he died in a car accident
> The odd thing about it is that I did not cry at the moment I found out about it
> Even at his burial I barely cried
> I was still pretty down about it tho
> Some weeks later, Charlie's mother contacted me
> She said she wanted to give me something that Charlie left for me and only for me
> It was an envelope
> I opened it until I got home
> It was a letter from Charlie stating that his death was not an accident, he was in fact killing himself
> He said that I was his only friend in his life
> Nobody like him at all
> He was planning on killing himself for a very long time
> However he stayed alive for some more time because he felt like he not only made himself a little happier from being with me but he noticed he made ME happy as well
> At the bottom of the letter he placed:
> I don't know if you'll be mad or sad about all this and the truth is that I am truly sorry, I love you man, please keep on living instead of being a dimwit like me and never change

>>744808084
Good thing is, if you will never have a girlfriend, you will never be dumped

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>>744811809
It may be better that way anon, look how love that went bad can fuck you up.
Hit the gym, go out and have a party, begin with a hobby, live your life

>>744811824
I'm sorry for your loss.
I too have lost some good people in my life.
To me, I would have accepted at least one of those girls. All I've ever wanted my whole life is to have someone to hold. One of my female friends killed herself with an overdose. I planned on that day to invite her to dinner and tell her how i felt. I never got the chance.

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>>744811824
Cont.
> He wrote down at the end that he wanted to keep this secret since it could really hurt his mother the fact that he killed himself
> He also wanted me to burn the letter

In the end I started as a lone wolf and I remain as one. I still feel the same tho. All I need is me. If I find friends along the way that take me in as I am fine, if not, fine.

Either way, I live and die alone but at least I'm happy that in the bitter end. I will die with the memory of great person with me and that someone will remember about me even after I die.

Peace out anons, you don't let people tell you what to do, don't let them tell you how you feel and don't let them tell you what you are.

> You are your own person

P.S I still visit his grave at least 3 times a week. Pic relatable

>>744811879
That is the dilemma, is better having someone to love and had it ended or not having anyone at all?
I've got no answer but I'm pretty sure it hurts like a bitch being in the first option, fuck I miss her so much

>>744812567
better to have been loved. i have not. im so afraid that i'll never be loved the way i wish for, dream for.

>>744812738
I know what you are saying my man, but I know by experience that when you love someone and I mean you really love this person, it can eat you from the inside when they don't love you in return, it is shit

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>>744812518
God damn it man, that is sad

Stop killing yourselves anyway

It's so weird. Life, that is.
Everyday I wake up feeling like I'd be better off dead. I have no one really here for me, no one who loves me, no one who cares.
And yet I put on a fake smile and go through my day. I make people smile. I make them laugh. Compliment people and make them feel good about themselves. I'm kind of a popular guy, and I have lots of friends. But what's that worth?

What's it worth having all these people around you if all of them would leave the moment they knew how you felt inside? What's the point of having all these "friends," but having nothing more than that? Not being particularly close to anybody, and not having anybody who loves me or cares.

It's pointless. And yet I force myself to keep this image and demeanour of a happy and friendly man, even if it is for nothing. I force myself to be seen as a fun person, even if I know in the end it won't matter.

And it's sad to have to go through this, and to do this, knowing that while people jump at you the moment they need to talk to someone, the moment they're sad, but nobody would ever do the same for you. It makes me feel even more empty and alone. Even more depressed than I already am. It's so damn weird how you can be seen as that cheery, happy man when you're in fact the suicidal mess you are.

>>744807693
Think of all the people lurking this thread because they are lonely. All these lonely people staring at an illuminated screen, feeling miserable. Think how we could all be friends, and look out for each other, help and love one another.

But we won't. The thread will die, and we'll all go back to being miserable, alone, and waiting for the next feels thread where we'll start it all over again.

Why do we do it, anons?

>>744814069
We should made a Feels or Baw discord/any website chat.

not really feels per se, but is there something you can think about that makes you feel nauseous? not even something gross or morbid, just a thought or a memory that you can't really lay a finger on as to where it came from. something that can just kinda break you down if youre not careful and make it impossible for you to do anything else. happens to me alot, would like to know if anyone shares this and what that thought is for you

>>744814069
Op here, I started the thread for this reason, so we can have a moment to share everything with fellow anons.
I'm still here to you anons

>>744814069
There's a reason for the cycle. Even if it helps but one person get out of the cycle and help themselves, then we have done our part.

>>744814499
Should I?
vvvv
>>744814227

>>744814446
I can relate, not exactly a memory but a image from my imagination.
Sometimes I imagine her with another man and it never fails to make me feel really nauseous and weak, don't know how or why but thinking this fuck me up really good, I guess is because I love her more than myself

>>744808593
I know that feeling. I told my girlfriend I loved her. We dated for 6 months without saying it, and I decided it was time. She didn't say it back. She said she cared about me and wanted to say it but couldn't because she would be a "Liar" then she decided we should call it off so she could focus on work. Found out today she's dating online. It's like it never happened at all. Slipped right through my fingers.

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>>744814069

>>744814817
Op here, don't have discord but you can go ahead and make one if you like, let me know so I can join too, godspeed anon

>>744813123
i know that too well. however i would love to just once be in a relationship.

>>744814980
Kay, will post perma invite in a while

Well you guys did it. All them feels man.

>>744814980
>>744814499
No
The whole idea of the feel thread is that it comes and goes
It comes from necessity
And gathers in those who need it

And there is no need to be permanent

>>744815085
I'm gonna wait for the link anon

>>744815158
Don't join if you don't want anon, I know what you mean but it may be nice to have a more lasting chat with our fellow men

>>744815081
Yeah, this is a thing you have to experience yourself to really know what is about

>>744814921
To be honest, the fact she refused to say "I love you" for six months should probably have been a warning sign.

Here's a poem /b/

>As a child I ran on a summer afternoon,
>Through the fields of bastard wheat,
>Along I went, brother in stride towards a cabin
>Toward an elderly man, who’s stories we sought
>tales of age
>Tales of old
>Tales of adventure,


>The summer sun burned our faces
>We knocked upon his door
>His cabin home was strewn with antiques,
>We rushed inside and took a seat,

>He asked if we wanted a drink
>We said no
>He asked if we had heard about that time when…
>We said no

>We sat for hours, listening to his tales
>Occasionally pitching in, with our childish grins
>Asking questions
>Again and again

>As I get older I realize, he is probably dead,
>In the earth, leaving nothing but memories behind
>No more adventures
>No more summers
>No more time
>But that isn’t the worst part. The worst part is,

>I forgot them all.

>>744815520
We both were getting out of long term relationships when we found each other. We didn't say it because we were scared of it. She didn't say it, I didn't say it. Then one day a few months ago I just...looked at her. The light was just right, and I felt it, so I said it. And that was that.

>>744815815
Pretty good anon, have more?

>>744816114
Sure. They're buried in my desk somewhere. Writing poetry is a newer hobby of mine, so it doesn't exactly have a "place" yet.

>>744816114

>Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
>Do you see your wife?
>Do you see your Kids?
>Do you see your House?
>Do you see your Car?
>Do you see your Job?
>Do you see yourself in the mirror?
>Do you see your hands shaking in anger?
>Do you see the sweat on your brow?
>Do you see the tears that well up inside of you, pushing their way out of your eyes?
>Do you see that you’re a miserable failure, who’s achieved nothing but the bare minimum standards of life?
>Can you feel it?
>Can you feel your stomach twist as you gag at the perverts, the terrorists, and the unfaithful?
>Can you feel your mind going insane, numbed only by the screaming of your unrelenting addictions?
>Can you feel the wrinkles that burrow into your skin as you begin to melt, and become a man you never perceived you would be, making choices you didn’t know you would make, hating people you didn’t know you would hate?
>How do you feel yourself in 5 years?

>>744816342
I really like it, I like the way you beautifully build the scene and have a real message. Post more if you can, keep the good work flowing my man

ok be this is my story

>7 years ago 12 at the time
>parents are divorced so i go back and forth between households
>mom is the loving caring parent that never said no well she never said no to anyone
>dad was strict chores and shit owned businesses and yelled all the time
>one day mom drops me off from school and i get called down to the office
>i wonder what it could be about last time it was my grandma passing away
>this time it was my mom brain hemorrhage
>she was in the hospital for about a week in a coma without any chance of recovery
>so we pulled the plug and i stood there and watched as she choked on her own tongue and died
>from that moment on i have never loved anyone and have never felt emotion
>i used to cry all the time now i barely even tear up
>all my friends left me because i was depressed and they didnt want to hang out
>never made any new ones never thought i could
>so now i sit alone browsing hoping for something to come back

>>744816589
I like the other one more but this is more powerful, mind if a cap this for further feel threads?

First time In a long time that I cried.

>>744816750
It get better anon, keep going no matter what and find your purpose in this earth, make your remaining days worth.
I love you and im proud of you

>Addiction of mine, please take me home.
>Distract me not from the speed of the road, and pass my time.
>Give me the vision, addiction.
>Give me the sight through the eyes of others that tells me I am wanted in this world.

>Addiction of mine, please entertain me.
>Show me the dancing man you know how he makes me laugh.
>I know I have seen it before, but I want to see it again. Just one more time, and I promise I will never ask again.
>Feed my hunger with the liquid flow of creativity, produced synthetically by the never ending stream of new content.

>Addiction of mine, keep your secrets.
>I care not for where the entertainment comes from.
>I care not for where the feeling is created.
>Just give it to me, once more, as I ready to lower myself into society so that we might all lift each other with our spirits divine, and convince ourselves that we are not alone.

>Addiction of mine, I am getting tired.
>Please, help me sleep.
>One more hit before I close my eyes, overcome with your brilliance.
>It’s getting dark.
>Show me what my eyes can no longer see and illuminate my fears so that, together, we may overcome them.

>Addiction of mine, lie to me.
>I care as little for your truth as I do your purpose.
>I have control over you, not you over me.
>We are not a team we are partners.
>This addiction of mine, we will travel to new and exotic places together, to view the wonders of the world and embellish our own self-worth to others so that they may feel your magic in all it’s might and glory as we slide backwards and forwards though time aching for the one feeling and addicting others just as we have ourselves with one goal in mind.
>The magic.

>>744817219

>Addiction of mine, I cannot afford you.
>When we are together money worries me not.
>I care less for the life span of the innocent dollar so long as it gets me my fix.
>I will dedicate my time, my life, and my knowledge to you so that you may grace me once more with your warm light that expels the darkness, loneliness, and evil that is in this world.
>Together we will battle it until you take my life.

>Addiction of mine, my life is yours.
I> can feel the end coming, just as you promised me it was.
>Allow me that feeling.
>The feeling of a twisting and winding road, sitting next to my love, top down, allowing the wind of life to blow through my receding hair.
>I give to you, myself.
>Dedicated and addicted for life to the trip around the rosies.

>Addiction of mine, floor it.
>Go as fast as you can, and take me with you. Together we will travel into the ever painted landscape before us, attracting those that agree with us and who are willing to get addicted just as I have.
>Take me off the mountain and over the edge so that we might meet in person, and show our love and affection to whomever might find our body, And let them deny it.

>Addiction of mine, this is one hell of a ride.

Okay, here it is:
discord dot gg slash MyTZJV

>>744816867
Go right ahead. What's the point of writing something, if it's not going to be shared?

>>744816644
Well I picked up poetry because I hated how illusive it was. I wanted to write poetry that was more...on the nose and in your face, you know?

This is the last poem I'll post tonight, so I'll pick a nice one.

>What makes a garden?

>Is it the flowers that grow in it?

>Is it the spring when all the plants begin to bud?

>Is it the summer when they bloom, and bring vibrant, exciting color to the world?

>Is it the fall when they die, not to live again until the following spring, when the snow is gone, and the world has returned to its less hostile state of being?

>Is it the sound of the bees as they carry pollen from one flower into another?

>Is it the scent of the fruits and vegetables that are going to keep food on our tables?
>No. It’s none of those things.

>A garden is a window.
>A window that faces the sun, and brings light into your life once a day as you care for another living creature in mutual respect.

>We are all growing our gardens. Somebody plants the seeds inside of us, and we water them and let them grow because they give us a warm, and sunny feeling.

>Sometimes, we feel warm and sunny in hate.

>Sometimes, we feel warm and sunny in love.

>But we continue to grow and to plant these seeds.

>Get rid of the hate. Let those plants die. Build your greenhouse with nothing but the finest of flowers. The ones that people will buy for mothers day. The ones that the bees will pollinate. Get rid of the weeds inside of you that poison and exhaust your garden.

>Take the time. Put in a fan. Get near a window. Let the creatures inside and grow your garden. But it’s your garden. You grow it. Other people plant it.

>Grow your garden. Build it big and strong.

>What makes a garden?

>You do.

>>744817310
Thanks bro

>>744817387
I feel the same, but I don't write anything because I think I wouldn't write anything good enough, how do you began to write?

>>744817826
Thank you anon, this was so beautiful.
Keep writing no matter what, you have serious talent here my man, keep filling this world with beautiful words

>>744818053
you type words on a keyboard. You're already doing it. You just wrote 24 words.

Writing is the easiest thing to do, and the hardest at the same time. It's easy, because it happens in spite of us. In 2017 it's hard not to write. It's difficult because you have to write what other people want to read? Or do you?

I think...fuck other people. I'm going to write what I want to read. I'm going to write what I am feeling. I'm going to say the words, the way I would say them and that's that. If people like it, they like it. If they don't, they don't. It was never for them anyways. They aren't the one sitting at home, alone, with words bursting from their chests. They're wasting their time binge watching TV shows, and taking pictures at the club to convince others they are happy. I am the one being tortured with words. I am the one who writes them.

Write for yourself first. If people dig it, then edit it to fit them. But always write for yourself first. Editing comes second for a reason.

>>744817260
Gonna join now

>>744818510
I might try it sometime, who knows I might be a hell of a writer

>>744818760
Not if you don't write. ;)

>people are strange in the way we operate

>where some have joy some simply accept their fate

>people are strange for the way we innteract

>some people talk to others and get very close while others simply stay alone accepting it as fact

>people are strange in the way we perceive love

>some of us find the one they where searching for while others wallow in their pain hoping to be found

>people are strange its all i have to say for as long as you watch you will never see the same

saw poem anons poems and decided to write this masta piece

https://youtu.be/E80zqZ8xUV8

>>744819029
Poemanon here. I like it, it's really good. Especially the last line. Much more of it was "Free-verse" instead of rhyming. Don't force rhymes. Just speak from your heart. It clearly has something to say.

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>>744819882
i have this beat in my head i was trying to follow like boom bat boom bat bat boom

>>744820037
Okay, if you're following a beat then look at the number of syllables. As long as they line up, you'll be fine. A Thesaurus is your best friend.

I still love:
"as long as you watch you will never see the same"

That's a fantastic line. Write it down, use it in public and conversation when needed, and make it YOUR quote. It's a good one. As you write you'll get more.

One of mine is:
"The two most important things in life are time and knowledge. Because nobody can give your time back, and they can't take your knowledge away."

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i need to talk
>be me
>be 14
>be sad about how im about to start high school and how i will be let behind
>everyone would go to parties, have fun, drink
>and i would stay home
>alone
fast forward to fall of freshman yeat
>i always was attractive, if i was an asshole i could be a chad
>somehow get her, the girl of my dreams
>she was perfect
>kind of shy, but a great personality and was absolutely stunning
>we did everything together
>hung out all the time, would go on proper dates sometimes, and sometimes just cuddled and watched movies until we fell asleep together
>we hung out with our mutual friends, we went to football games, we layed on her roof and kissed under the stars
>she completed me
>all of sudden, she stops talking to me
>grows more and more distant
>keep texting her but she never responds
>confused
>confusion turns to anger
>start bashing her despite how i still loved her
>i wish i could've never said those words
>she ends it
fast forward to spring of freshman year
>i fix myself and she opens back up
>its like we rediscovered each other, i loved her so much
>be hanging out with friends and her and her friends
>talking about funny stories from when we were kids
>talk about how i have a scar on my wrist from punching a window
>she says she has a scar there too
>not from a window
>trying to hold back tears
>i hug her and kiss her in front of my friends
>i didnt care
>later i realized that she tried to kill herself
>because of me
>because she loved me, and i hated her

im sorry

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Bump

>>744820656
yeah i have a shit ton of those like
"everyone is hiding waiting to be found" because we all hide behind personas and masks only hoping to reveal ourselves and have someone accept us

>>744821124
People, especially young are stupid. Both of you were, it's normal. I destroyed my relationship because I was stubborn and didn't want to talk to my partner. So did you. Now you know that if there is a problem you say:
>Yeah, I know there is a problem and if we don't talk it won't go away, it will almost always go worse.
This way decisions will be made faster and with less negative emotions and keeping stuff of you chest will keep you sane.

How did the story end though, anon? Are you together, did you grow apart, did your life paths just split off?

>>744812567
It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all

>>744821338
Love it. I have a poem called "The mask" about that very subject. Very few people are astute enough to notice it. :)

just watched gran torino for the first time, was sad in the end

Funny how people can be surrounded by friends but feel so alone at the same time. It's not that nobody understands, its just that they don't want to put in the time to get to see me as a human. Then I'm just another face to them, even though they're more than a face to me. I listen to them, but they laugh at me. I feel like an object to them, something that they can vent at, and all I can do is silently bear my burdens while trying to fix theirs. I wish that I could find someone to talk to that actually cares, but I don't think that there's anyone out there that will.

Damn it /b/ you're going to make me cry and then my roommate's going to get all concerned

>>744822456
Then again, I didn't take my meds today and I kind of need a good cry. Wish she'd go to bed already so I can just be alone

>>744807870
Gay

>>744821789
Our paths just split off. We had a good run, we dated for another year but we just grew apart and lost the feelings we once had.

Despite that though, we still have the same mutual friends and hang out with them and me and her are friends, even though we dont feel that way anymore. It ended on a high note and I still think some of the times with her were some of my best.

The room is warm — uncomfortably so for me — but I can hear her breathe. Her breaths are soft and shallow. She’s asleep. Right behind me, she is asleep. I glance over my shoulder — just for a second — to see her.

Every time I see her, my heart melts. My heart melts and tightens up at the same time. It’s inherently oxymoronic, but that’s how it feels; like I’m falling on solid ground. For no one else have I ever felt such raw emotion. For no one else have I ever felt such love. Because of no one else have I ever felt such joy, yet at the same time, for no one else have I ever felt this sorrow.

Joy for knowing that this radiant star is a part of my life. Joy for knowing that, no matter how far I may stray, and no matter how lost I may be, she will be there.

Sorrow for knowing that, no matter how close she may be, she will always be just beyond my fingertips. Not because I lack the love. The love burns like a white-hot star inside of me, but I am not deserving of another’s love — her love. Love is for those who can make apparent their true feelings. Those who can lay everything out on the ground and present themselves as victims to fate’s apathetic plans. I am incapable of such a feat. I know that I will only be rejected. I will only be told to go; to leave. I cannot give my heart to her or anyone.

The room is warm. I look over my shoulder once more. She sits idly. Only her shoulders move, and only with each of her shallow breaths. I look deeply at her, knowing that she loves another who is not I. Another who can give her what she desires. And even though she is beautiful — far too so for a person as pedestrian as I —, and even though she will never love me, I hope. I hope, for the pain brought by doing so is more soothing than the nothingness I feel without her.

some gay shit i wrote a while ago. was thinking about an ex at the time.

>>744811807
Jesus. I was the one who he typed that reply for

>>744822879
the first 3 paragraphs perfectly sum up the feeling of love. its so powerful and moving, it'll change a man whos never experienced it before.

>>744822927
You are?
God this shit was heavy my man, how everything going bro

>>744822879
There's also a girl I started getting to know about a year ago. She was my best friend and I, of course, fell in love with her because I'm a silly fuck. I wouldn't be so torn up over it if we lived near each other, but she's in Georgia and I'm in Southern Indiana. And I'd even be okay with the distance thing if I didn;t know for a fact that there are two guys she works with who she fucks about every weekend, if not more often.

I've seen her IRL twice: She passed through Indiana when she was headed home from Michigan, so she stopped to see me, then another time when I was on my way home from a trip to Puerto Rico with a friend. We stopped in Atlanta and she drove the hour from Marietta to come see me. I had confessed my love just a couple days prior.

Shit's fucking awful but I just can't cry. I don;t know why but it's fucking killing me.

part 1

Ill share my feels story.

My sister got very sick after having a hysterectomy and she had something wrong with her brain. She had lost her mind and she didnt know any of us or who she was she got very sick. During my sisters sickness I turned to marijuana and alcohol. I would drink alcohol from the moment I woke up until I passed out in a drunk stupor. One night I broke down and cried the hardest I ever have and it just made me feel empty from that moment on. My sister had been sick a while longer and I was still drinking the same. My sister eventually got better but I did not.

Shortly after my sister had gotten better a girl I used to be really into but never talked to much added me on facebook. I started talking with this girl a lot and we really connected. We started hanging out and we had sex and kept having sex it was passionate and great. I started to feel things again and I started to love her. I didn't want to tell her this at first because I did not want to get attached when I knew this probably wouldn't last. This girl started saying I love you early on and I told her give me some time. Once I had realized I really did love this girl I told her I love you and from then on its all I knew. I had her on birth control when we first met because I was trying to be smart about it.

I started to be at her house every day and every night and I would go home to sleep on work nights. We really were into each other but she kept talking about a baby and I was reluctant at first but then I started to like the idea. So I told her to stop the birth control. She stopped taking her pill and she got pregnant soon after, I couldn't be more happy I was going to be a father with the love of my life.

Now the problems started in the third month of pregnancy just days recently to the date of me writing this. We went to hang out at my brother in laws house and I told her I wouldn't get drunk but I did I drank a lot of scotch and she was pushing me off her

>>744807693
bump

>>744822212
I always wanted to have friends, when middleschool started I switched schools and locations so I didn't have any friends and this made me lonely so I closed myself off. When high school started nobody liked me. I really wanted somebody to be friends with me but I didn't know how to be liked. With the time people started liking me for whatever reason and made some loyal friends, but I still wanted more. By the time it was graduation year a decent amount of the school knew me, not that I was popular or anything but I had made a lot of friends. I fell like I was worth something. But school ended and I didn't have that many friends anymore I didn't feel lonely per se but I knew that friends are a disposable thing and you can find new ones.
But if you trust someone and someone trusts you back, that's how you make a real friendship. The few people that stuck around after those years are the friends. Even after I changed cities and other people changed countries, we still keep in touch, we still share passions, secrets and talk nostalgic crap, because we trust each other.
Of course when I see the other people that were my friends we will still share a laugh or too, but we won't be looking for each other after that.
And that's what matters, finding someone you can trust.

>>744822865
It's better to end this way, than to hate each other.

>>744823212
I'm trying to avoid thinking about her for now.
That last sentence really sent me on a spiral. I guess it's just something I'm not going to get from her. It's a difficult, sinking feeling but at least I can stay afloat with the denial/avoidance.
Also, what do you think he meant by lashing out at everyone else because you can't lash out at her. Do you think I should actually lash out at Her?

>>744808084
LOL you fucks are pathetic if this is you

>>744823535
Thanks for sharing your experience anon, your advice made me think. It helped me a lot. Thanks

>>744817826
I love this. Beautiful.

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Last feels thread, someone asked for this poem. I fell asleep during the thread and missed the post. This one is for you anon. I hope you're here and reading.

>>744823545
I think you shouldn't lash out at anybody but tell her if something is bothering you, that's what I think he's trying to say in that sentence

>>744824379
Yeah I think that makes more sense. I just wish I could tell her how much I love her and how much I want her. I know it'll only drive her further away from me
It was such a surprise reading that post again. Thanks anon

>>744824328
I do not agree with that poem, of course different experiences shape different opinions, but there is a saying:
>'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Part 2

When she pushed me off her and I got upset and said something about I might as well be like her ex. Mind you I was very drunk. She was very upset by it and she wouldn't let me stay the night at her house that night. The next morning she told me leave her alone for a while. So naturally I went fishing and when I came back she was distant she was being bitchy and angry at anything I did. After that we went to one of her friends houses and hung out and had some drinks I was massaging her neck and shoulders and sat back down. Someone said something that triggered me to say something she had done and hung out with a guy we first got together and I didn't like him which was one of the people she calls her "Brothers" well I guess this triggered something in her and her other "Brother" that behind my back they started talking about abortion which I learned after it happened. 10 days goes by of her avoiding me and hanging out with other people without me and telling me give her space and leave her alone. She told me before this I was the man of her dreams and all shes ever wanted and she would love me forever and always mind you. Well on the 11th day I had had enough I kept messaging her and asking her whats wrong, she took a bit of messaging to tell me. She said "I went to the doctor and found out I was high risk and I am having a miscarriage" I rushed down to her house and tried to enter the door but she locked it. She came out after a minute and I asked her if she was serious she said yes. I cried on her and she told me that she could care less she didn't want it anyway. I asked her how she could be so cold and she told me I haven't seen the cold side of her. Another day passed and she started to call me a child and tell me to leave her friends and family alone because I was messaged them trying to tell them I loved her I am not a bad person.

>>744824587
Oh, my pleasure anon.
It was a good thread we had that day

>>744824725
I think it's just to show that all the romanticized movie versions of love, they're all bullshit.
The author here captures what love is and will always be. Pain and suffering.
I do agree with you on love however. And it is a beautiful poem

>>744825030
Yeah it was anon. The people in the feels thread are usually the best of /b/

Posted a bit already, but I just need to vent. Sorry /b/.
I didn't take my meds today. Didn't feel like I needed or wanted to because I got up around noon and was skipping church anyway. Bad idea.
I got more and more depressed throughout the day. Now it's almost 10pm and I'm doing homework because I have to but I feel like dying and my roommate makes my anxiety so much worse, because she kind of reminds me of my mom who is the cause of a lot of my anxiety. It's bad enough tonight that she sneezed and I startled and almost started to cry.
I'm talking to this guy that would be perfect for me to date if I felt any spark. He's awesome and we have a lot of mutual interests, but I'm just not fucking over my last ex who broke up with me because of my mom.
Now I am crying and I just want to roommate to go the hell to sleep so I can be alone for a while. I'm so tired. I don't wanna sleep, I'm just tired of living. I feel like shit and it's my own damn fault for not taking my meds and being a dumbass who can't take care of herself.
I'm a fucking disaster. Sorry. Thanks for letting me vent.

>>744825291
I agree that the poem captures a light of love not often described, but without the sour you can't have the sweet. Without the work, you can't have the vacation. Without night, you don't know what day is.

>>744824728
She is behaving like a child. This is not a normal behavior for a grown woman. Can you share the concerns that you have for your future and that of the baby to someone she trusts, like a family member or a close friend?

Part 3

After this she messaged me infuriated that I was messaging her friends and told me leave them alone. I told her why cant her friends be mine as well. She told me she has a bad history with that.

Well it happened where I started thinking something was going on and I started to beg her not to abort the baby and she told me to leave her alone and I told her in a message later that day I was sorry I wont bring up anymore negative things I wouldn't do this and that and I told her I loved her and her now 2 year old son.

She replied with "I cant say those words to you anymore". So we got in an argument over her leaving me and it started to turn ugly from her insulting me calling me not a man and a child and she doesn't see me as a man. She the next day got a bunch of hickeys on her neck from one of the friends we hung out with the previous nights a person she calls her "Brother" he and his fiance are having problems and my ex didn't like her he had hickeys too I know because they sent pictures of their hickeys to my neighbor a girl that she thought was her best friend but Ive known longer so she told me.

well me and this girl sent them to his fiance and told her, she is reluctant to believe it however she told me that they aborted the baby because her fiance told her they were at the clinic doing this, I broke down and the grief hit me again. It is one day later now since my baby was killed. I lost the love of my life and my first baby all so fast it broke me and I don't know how I will continue on I am destroyed. I wrote a several page letter that I don't know if will ever give her maybe its just more for myself. I can't forgive myself that and I blame myself that I am the reason for all of this because I said stupid shit. I don't know who I am anymore and I don't know how to move on from this.

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I didn't want it to come to this. I'm so sorry. I started talking cause I thought you were pretty and you were nice but you were something more. You asked me if I was okay, about what was going on in my life. You let me open up about what I struggle with. And now, all I can think of is you, being with me, and how you'll have to lose the happiness you have for that to happen.

I'm so sorry, Aleu.

>>744825727
Why are you sorry anon? Why would she have to lose happiness for that to happen?

i feel a little empty

>>744825979
She's with someone else. Someone she'll be more happier with. Someone who's not a fucked up mess. Someone who probably knows how to treat her. All I can I do is watch, and remain her friend until the day it hurts to much to stay that way.

>>744825682
She wasn't the love of your life, anon. Do you really want to have someone as a partner that is willing to kill a fetus over you being drunk and to start seeing other guys? I sure wouldn't. It will be hard, it will be very hard, just don't give up. Don't lean on drinking and weed, find some friends that you can tell them this and you can express your feelings.

>>744808593
Sorry bout that one man, i really am

Part 4

I feel like this is all my fault but I know I am not the childish one. She was talking about being young and having fun before she started avoiding me she was telling her friend that she wanted to drop acid again and started smoking pot. I know this wasn't me just because I said stupid things a couple times. She would tell me she loved me forever and always and I was the man of her dreams then I went to being how she put it a "Baby back bitch offspring" and she started comparing me to her exes telling me I was worse than them when no I am not I am a good guy. I work hard in the oilfields and I don't use drugs and these people are dirtballs. It hurt me psychologically and emotionally how she wouldn't work with me through losing the baby and left me out completely in the dark. She insulted me and called me a child and told me I wasn't a man and I still tried to tell her "no I love you, I respect you, I am not like them, I am a good man". She wouldn't have it. Now its been 1 day since my baby who was 14 weeks is gone. I am more hurt than anything has ever hurt me and I keep dwelling on the thought of blaming myself as if there was something I could have done better.

>>744816589
The bottom bit is really good anon, keep up the writing

>>744825453
Don't be sorry. Also go out with this guy. Try to distract yourself from whatever is happening in your life. Even for a little bit it can really bring a positive in your life.

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I've been suicidal since I was literally 9 years old. I don't really remember ever being mentally or emotionally secure because I'm not sure I ever really have been.

>>744826179
i feel like 90% of feels threads are people who deal with seeing someone they love with other people. that says alot about the feeling of love, its pretty fucking cancerous. especially since most women dont really care about that,. they just want the next big dick

>>744826253

No you're right but I just feel like she was so beautiful to me and I could stare at her and feel happy like I really had it all. Losing her is the last thing I wanted I looked past any flaw she had and where she is in life I wanted to lift her up and bring her with me. She must never have truly loved me if she could change her mind so easily. I still want her I would still forgive her to just be with her again and spend time with her and kiss her, there is something fucking wrong with me.

>>744817246
Holy tits, good stuff

>>744826509
>>744826859
Look dude.
There is a quote:
>Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
You are that 10%, she is the rest. There are multiple graceful ways to handle a break without being a total fuckwad about it.

Don't go back with her together, if she hurt you once this easily, she would do it gladly again. You will become like a stray dog that is hungry. She might feed you, she might not. But at the end of the day you will be sleeping on the streets. It is not worth it.

>>744809983
Fucking end that weiner. Big dogs are great but anything under 15 pounds is fucking shit and should die.

>>744807693
lmao more like ylyl

>>744817826
This is great, anon! The best of the ones that you shared.

>>744819029
A good start my budding poet brother

>>744826719
It's my case and no one could said it better, it hurts to see her with anyone that's not me, it destroys you

>>744826719
The women you should surround yourself with are much more than that

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Bitches ain't shit yall!!!

Your life will improve in a 200% when you stop idealizing them and making them the center of your universe.

You derserve better!

>>744828038
and yet, theyre so few and far between, almost non existant, nothing to fear though when you delete that desire in your life. its better to focus on yourself and enjoy the little things.

>>744810415
Just fucking take it and roll and roll and roll my /b/ros

Made a deal a while back with some friends saying that we would all have dates to prom no matter what. Now I'm sitting here realizing that I don't have the social skills, looks, or personality to get a date. Feelsbadman

>>744825682
Your grief far surpasses anything I ever hope to feel. I cannot imagine that sort of loss. Evidently this girl is causing you great pain, man, and you need to find a healthy way to cope with it. Spilling your guys to us is a a good first step.

I know this might sound insane but I hope that you can forgive her and forgive yourself. Obviously it will take a long time for you to feel well again, but please believe me when I say that you will get better.

Stay strong, anon.

>>744828465
All that's true anon. But we survive for what we cannot get. Not what we have.
I wish she loved me. I wish she could. It's okay that she doesn't. But I wish she did

>>744827440
another one i made just now

>love is only real if you make it so

>life is only fun when you truly believe it is

>but how do you make something out of nothing?

>how do you believe something is not what it is?

>>744828950
to each their own in the end, all i can say is try to do literally anything to forget that and improve yourself in any way possible. in the long run its better for you even though i know you cant see it

>>744826719
Who you are describing are the she-chads. Good girls are out there, you just have to put in some effort to find them. Just like they have to do the same to find us.

>>744829063
Yeah, I can tell you right now "Aleu" is a wonderful person. I've met plenty of other girls who don't give a second thought to guys, and respond "yes" when asked out just to make themselves look good.

>>744828952
That's a fantastic start. Now write a poem that answers those questions

>>744814227
Nah, we should make a good friendos discord chat. A place where all the lonely fucks in this thread and threads like it can go and make friends. I'm not an extrovert but I know how to be one when I have to so if someone sets it up I'll come be a little social butterfly for a bit to get it started and then all you need is a bit of dedication and holy shit you have friends.

>>744829220
thats the part i cant do there is no answer for me

>>744828952
I really recommend you watching Memento if you haven't.

>>744829220
Hey. You seem to be someone who understands and gets poems.
Can you tell me how it is that poems appeal to you? I just can't get most poems. What do they do to you? How do you react to poems?

Okay I used the tissue I was gonna beat off into to wipe my tears and snot, do I still use it?

>>744829338
thats the one where he finds out he is the killer right? why should i watch it

>>744829503
It asks similar questions about reality. I won't spoil the movie, because the plotline is really simple but they way it is crafted changes the perspective.

So many talk of how they just wish for someone to hold, someone to love, someone to love them. It doesn't sate the sadness. It doesn't sate the loneliness. I got lucky, a friend of mine and I had long standing romantic tension that culminated in our current relationship. I thought, I really thought that the companionship, the romantics, the sex, the affection would finally make me happy, finally fill the void left by my crippling loneliness. But no one could, never. I realize, that it was the facade she fell for, the one she adored, the one who made her laugh, was her shoulder to cry on. It wasn't me. She doesn't know me. No one does.

>>744809983
Should have killed the dog tbh

Can anyone who gets poetry answer this >>744829345

>>744810187
I hate women so much

I have a couple poems too.

I:
>What a fucking weirdo!
>I can't believe they act that way
>They're making people uncomfortable
>It's making me uncomfortable
>I wish I could be comfortable
>In my own skin

II:
>Today was a day I should have spent in the sun
>Could have played, could have laughed, could have swam; had some fun
>But instead I stayed in, my eyes glued to a screen
>If I can't justify that, what does it mean?
>I mean, what did I lose; on what did I miss out?
>I'm not angry, not mad; I won't scream, I won't shout but
>Escaping the day is not what life is about
>I must now confess that I am disappointed
>In my past. Eyes downcast, so blindly I pointed
>At all my addictions and at my surroundings
>At my own conviction I ignored all the houndings
>From both family and friends, my best interests in mind
>I just shut myself in and shut them out in kind
>I had no way of knowing how lucky I was
>For some reason nothing could give me a buzz
>Or at least so I thought, till I put the screen down
>There is nothing quite like your bare feet on the ground
>Scathed but alive I escaped from the trap
>I feel sad for the anons who drown in that crap.

Damn, I forgot that I wrote this and why (in September 2015). Go outside guys, you'll feel better! I need to do the same.

>>744830378
i try to go outside but there is nothing to do things are a lot less appealing when you go alone

>>744829345
Sorry, was writing out my poems lol.

I think that they're a great way to express how you feel. I love language and all its complexity, so that's a part of it. I play drums and bass and have a good sense of rhythm, which is also important in poetry and one of the main things that attracts me to it.

I also think a well written poem leaves a lot of room for the reader to interpret it in their own way, to fill in the gaps with their own feelings and experiences.

>>744830623
Give your head a shake, stop taking things so seriously

>>744830124
Put on your big boy pants, you faggot.

>>744827119
>Honestly I would fuck her I think if she will in the future but my feelings for her are dying by the day.

Anyone else living in purgatory? Nothing good happens nothing, bad happens. Just a continuous humdrum of everyday bullshit, and you have no idea how to change it.

>>744808084
Why can't this American speak English properly?

>>744830624
It may seem that way because our culture is obsessed with having our full attention on something a the time - like any moment you aren't giving 100% is a moment lost. That's bullshit. Go for a walk. Bring a camera or use your phone. Explore your city a little bit.

One thing I do sometimes is force myself to slow my walking pace, pull my awareness and concentration outside of my head (where I'm usually thinking negative things) and focus on everything around me. Then, to keep the focus there, I literally count all of the beautiful things that I see and hear. It makes you feel so much better.

>>744831043
Poor education?

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>>744831036
Feeling like that is better than being sad all the time I think.

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>>744813724
s-stop i can only take so much feels

>>744831433
A curse every American I've come across seems to be afflicted with

>>744831589
>Where is my time going
pretty much

>>744831816
Yeah, oh hey how's everything going on my man.
Why are you here?

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Thanks for the poetry tonight, guys. I thought about sharing some of my own but I'm too self-conscious.

Also if I roll dubs or a 6 then I'll take another shot.

>>744810047
*tragedies

>>744831352
i dont think you got my point im saying i do that i go take walks and stuff i look at nature but when you do something alone you start to feel lonely the only thing that stops that for me is the screen or another human

I can't remember for when I was happy for the next day.

Here's another poem, this one is about an ex of mine who was living 1500 miles from where I went to school (never again).

>It's a distance that is not
>Except to the heart
>I hear your voice, but not your longing
>I see your eyes but not your soul
>I almost wish that we had broken
>So that I could feel more whole
>To hear other voices, full of longing
>And see a soul so sweetly staring
>But that would have left me wounded, bleeding
>I need you to fill that role
>You told me to devour you, and
>When I can I'll eat you whole

Slightly inspired by Alt-J - Breeze blocks / Where The Wild Things Are, which I bought to read her as a bed time story.

That was a cool relationship.

>>744832055
Haha, I'm guessing you're American? I didn't really mean any offence, it's just something I've observed.

Anyway, I guess I'm here for the same reason(s) that most others are.

>>744810263
this hits too close to home...

>>744832264
The problem with screens is that we get lost in them, use them to escape our lonliness and suffering.

I'm sure you have an interest that other products in your area share. Join a club or a team or something. Don't go explicitly looking for a romantic relationship; look for friends and they will help you find that.


You can do it, anon. You're not as weird as you think you are. Everyone is like us, we just suck at hiding it.

>>744822821
Oldfag shit, damn

>>744832387
I'm not American my man, and I'm sorry if you thought that I was being rude or something.
It's just that I'm not a native speaker and I might sound really weird sometimes, I was really interested in why you are here

>>744832655
ive tried all that shit ive tried to make friends ive tried so fucking hard at everything ive joined clubs ive done everything i can thats the worst part about it I DO EVERYTHING I CAN i try so fucking hard

>>744832067
Hey man some of the stuff I shared tonight I wrote in 2015 and have never shown anyone. At the very worst your work will go unnoticed.

>>744832962
Shit, man, your English would have fooled me!

And as I said, I guess I'm here for mostly the same reason(s) as others; I've kind of felt suicidal over the past few months and I just wanted to browse and see how other /b/ros feel/are getting on.

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Bump

Just fucking kill me, already. I can't fucking handle my own emotions.
My girlfriend of 3 months and I have been having massive relationship issues and I don't know how to fucking fix them. I want to save this relationship, but the spark is dead and I don't know how to break it to her, so I'm just smiling and pretending that everything is fine. We haven't seen each other in weeks or had sex in just as long. We text every day, but due to family being in the way, we can't see each other in person. Part of me wants to break up with her because I just don't love her anymore, and another part of me wants to stay to keep her happy, and it's fucking tearing me apart.
Not to mention that I started talked with my ex again and fell for her all over again, and she wants to be with me. She has no strings attached, and the only reason that relationship failed was because I was young and stupid and insecure. Fucking hell, guys. Should I just off myself now, or actually try to fix my relationship, or be happy with my ex? I don't fucking know, and I feel like I'll be the fucking bad guy no matter what.

>>744833194
I believe that you do. I dunno man, the only real advice I can give is to put yourself in as many social situations as you possibly can and be open to forming relationships with people that you normally wouldn't look at twice.

>>744833358
Sorry to hear that bro, hope you can get out from the hole you are in right now, I was In a similar situation too, girls problems man, it can easily fuck you up

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>>744833587
I know and i do usually i'm the one saying that to later find it worked with them but not for me

>>744833575
>3 months

Stop.

You're not trying to save a dying one that's crumbling away around you because of your depression that medication isn't helping while also trying to hold it together for your 2 year old son that thinks the world of your miserable depressed ass.

>>744833575
Take a deep breath, anon. It's not worth killing yourself over. It seems as though your ex is a fairly certain deal, no? First, talk to your gf about how you feel. The longer you put it off the worse things will be. You don't have to tell her that you've been talking to your ex, but if you decide TOGETHER to make it work then you should stop doing it.

If it goes south, try to work things out with the ex.

If, on the other hand, you really want to make things work with the ex and your spark has truly does with your gf, you should absolutely break up with her and get back with the ex. It's the right thing to do. There will be immediate and short term suffering, of course, but nothing nearly as bad as what will happen if you do nothing.

If you do nothing, maybe your gf will dump you AND your ex will do d somebody else while you keep her waiting for you.

Whatever you do, my friend, the most important thing is that you make a choice and act on it, and that you do so sooner rather than later.

>>744834140
wow autocorrect fucked me a few times there, but hopefully you get what I mean

>>744833575
Fuck being the "bad guy," a bad relationship is damaging for both parties. Understandably, a lot of negative emotions come from break ups, but it's often for the better in the long run. As for getting back with your ex, careful that you aren't over-romanticizing the thought of you two back together. Usually past relationships failed for a reason, and your current relationship issues probably make going back to your ex seem more attractive in comparison, but it's usually better to get over someone before trying to jump to the next thing. That can lead to more unhealthy behavior.

>>744833874
Seems like you just need to stop worrying about shit then. I do the same thing.

>>744833833
Yeah, man, it's fucking shit. Where are you from anyway?

>>744834480
I'm from Paraguay, it's a little country in the middle of South America, I guess you never heard of it kek

>>744834431
its just im so fucking lonely like i have cold sweats at night in bed knowing i will never know true companionship

>>744834588
Aye, I've heard of Paraguay. How do you speak English so well though?

>>744833575
Youre a fucking braindead emotional twat. When youre considering suicide as an alternative to dealing with relationship problems then you should probably start saving your unemployment checks to travel to another country or some shit. Lose yourself for a few years and leave your coddled and paralyzed mentality behind you

>>744834676
Stop telling yourself that. Make compromises in your relationships.

>>744834845
i dont have relationships thats the problem like i dont even have acquaintances

>>744834793
Not him, but anybody under 25-30 with decent exposure to the internet will almost surely have better written English than the average American.

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I really need to drink less

>>744826719
Woman here. We deal with unrequited love too, I promise.

>>744834966
I don't know what else to tell you besides what I said before. Just put yourself out there. Don't be afraid to reach out to people.

>be me, 17
>a week ago, still be in hs but applying for a class at local college
>college accidentally sending all my emails to my dad
>have to constantly ask him to check for emails
>one day gets angry and tells me to check for myself
>going through email and end up finding something horrible
>email evidence my father was cheating on my mother and going to a nude massage parlor "regularly"
>don't know what tf to do, take picture of it and walk away In horror
>contemplate over the next week on how to confront him
>tearing me up inside, can't even look at him
>get into fights constantly for tiny things
>tells me I'm acting like a maniac and evil
(cont)

>>744834793
Funny history, when I was a kid my father give to my brother and I our first computer, it was the year 2004 I guess so
We don't have internet in those days, the man who built it for us was a bro tier and he downloaded a SNES emulator and he teached us In how to use it, the thing is all game were in English so we take a dictionary from the school library and we began to translate word to word every game and we became pretty good in no time, so I guess this was the reason I liked English

>>744832335

This is how I feel about my relationship right now. I moved for work in June, and we're only 3.5 hours apart, but I can't see her every weekend. It feels like we've been fighting for the past 2 months non-stop, and it hurts to hold on, but I love her so much. I feel like I'm bursting at the seams, watching our relationship deteriorate slowly, or an accident in slow motion that you can't stop.

>>744834140
The thing is, my gf and I have already talked about it, but due to certain... Errors on my part, the relationship went way too fucking fast, and she's honestly in a bad place right now. I feel like if I leave her, I'm basically abandoning her. Not to mention she's basically friends with all of my friends. And some of my ex friends, one of whom was going to have a one night stand with her before she said she had feelings for me and asked me out. That fucker has been shit talking about me every chance he gets, apparently. Who knew such close friends could turn into such brutal enemies? But, anyway, you're very much so right... As are you, >>744834329. I'm honestly just too much of a fucking emotional autist to actually do anything "in person" (i.e. in live chat with her), and she deserves better then a massive breakup text out of nowhere, so I'm just being a huge pussy. I recognize that, though.
>>744834804
It's not that I'm considering suicide as an alternative here. This is just the breaking point for me here, the culmination of months and months of bad shit happening to just send me over the edge.

>>744811807
i am literally going through this right now and its taking every part of me to hold myself together after reading it. I just want to be loved back.
its so fucking unfair.

>>744835446
That's a pretty cool way to learn English! Have you ever been to an English-speaking country?

>>744835808
Loving someone who's don't love you back is like dying, I know this from experience anon I know it sucks

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>>744835204
(cont)
>ff to yesterday
>get into argument over not filling the ink cartridge
>slips out that I know he cheated on mom
>walks out and goes to see a movie with friends
>can't even enjoy it because I just sent the evidence to him
>afterwords drop my friends off at their house
>stop in some parking lot and text him
>he tries to deny it
>saying he never went
>email said "looking for regular thing"
>bawling my eyes out and told him to not talk to me again and that I'm telling g mom
>come home to see everyone went out to dinner without me
>they come home and everyone just goes to bed
>next morning talking with mom abt some church thing
>dad comes in and takes my phone, laptop, and car keys away
>tells me I don't get anything from him and i can't use the internet or tv in hide house
>FREAK out
>fighting ensues and just end up going upstairs and crying my fucking eyes out
>end up hearing my parents fighting
>moms a pushover and doesn't deserve this
>moms says "you violated our marriage and this his how you react?"
>dad blurts out "I DONT CARE she doesn't deserve those things if she did this to me!"
>hurt and crying more
>my heart is breaking
>dad and mom fight for a long time
>eventually says that he's going to live in a hotel
>packs stuff and leaves later that day
>mom crying
>can tell she kind of blames me
>sister and brother take dads side
>paint me as the villain
>hate father for what he did and resent him for not being sorry and telling my mom
>after dad left, mom gave my phone back
>tfw I ruined my parents marriage
>tfw I ruined my family
>tfw I ruined my trust for anyone in the future
>tfw considering suicide
A few minuets ago I walked into parents room and see that my dad left his wedding ring behind
What have I done /b/

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>>744835808

>>744835846
I've always wanted to visit the states or another anglo country, maybe one day.
Yeah I think it was a real good way to learn, I still remember taking turns to play meanwhile the other translate most fast and accurately as possible, oh the good ol' days. My favorite game was prehistoric man

>>744835948
>"I DONT CARE she doesn't deserve those things if she did this to me!"
femanon

>>744835948
You've been an edgy adolescent and fucked things up.

>>744836239
caught :/

>>744835948
Well if a meltdown like that happened then obviously your mom didn't know about it. That's a very shitty way for things to happen but IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Your dad
1. Fucked up
2. Left evidence
3. Directly led you to said evidence
4. Reacted horribly when you inevitably found it
5. Treated you and the rest of your family like shit
6. Manipulated your siblings into thinking you were to blame.

It just so happens that you were the first to find out. It was gonna happen at some point. Your family will realize this eventually, once the initial shock wears off.

Don't fucking kill yourself. Your dad has enough guilt already and is just handling it really badly.

>>744836333
huh well if you define edgy as an absurd and unhealthy relationship with justice than yeah I guess so

>>744836239
What an astute observation, anon, I'm sure femanons problems will all disappear now that she realizes she has a vagina

>>744836576
if your dad had to do that it means the marriage wasnt working out anyway so you didn't really end their marriage now you are old enough where you should look for a job and move out let them sort it out themselves dont get caught up in it there will be alot of yelling and shit

detective anon is always on the case >>744836794

basically my whole life is a feels thread
>was poor growing up, lived in shitty places
>couldnt afford tv
>had to bathe in a large laundry bucket using neighbors hose water
>shared a medium bed with 2 brothers until i turned 17
>only ever watched tv when i was at a friends or a cousins house
>was bullied by 2nd grade teacher
>depression kicks in at this age
>stop doing work
>stop being a perfect attendance student
>whenever i do show up teacher yells at me
>not even 10 years old and already have suicidal thoughts
>barely pass 2nd grade with D's and F's due to lack of caring about school...
cont?

>>744836926
I'm not going to say you're wrong but yeah I guess. Had dreams of going to a good college or uni but CC is just as good if not cheaper :/ although I'm doing a buch of after school shit for going to a good college but might as well give up on that too and just get a job

>>744837243
getting a job doesnt mean you give up on college just wait a year afterwards it will be over and im sure your parents will still provide money for college/ housing while you are there depending how well off you are

>>744836630
Actually kinda made me feel better thanks anon

>>744837205
Yes

>>744835924
2 weeks ago we had to have the conversation about how i need to let go, and how shes going to have a future with her bf.

back story on this is that back in may we started having a thing, dating, kissing, fucked.
and another guy got involved a few months later. I just wanted her to pick me so badly Id do anything for this girl. buy whatever, take her wherever. this fucking competition... she never did pick me.


Fast forward to two weeks ago, I sat there on a curb under a single streetlight by her house with her, sobbing, weeping harder then I have in 3 years. Because I knew the dream was dead. She sat in my lap holding me, consoling me, cracking jokes to cheer me up, kissing my forehead. And I hated her for it.

Driving back home, I wanted to send my car into a telephone pole.

and she wont let me go either. she wont just tell me to fuck off. That I can live with. I can get past that because If i can hate her, Ill get over her.

But she wont, and I cant tell her to leave me alone because I love her.

After avoiding her for all this time, I just agreed to hang out with her on Wednesday. Fml man, Im in a perpetual state of hell because of my own doing. Seeing her is only gonna make me feel even more hollow. I just want to toss both of us out a window for putting me through this. But here I go, marching off back to my own hell...

sorry for the tl;dr.

I needed to vent. Im going crazy.

Dubs or a 5 and I keep drinking

Hey anons, I'm usually just a lurker in these threads, but I feel I have a pretty interesting story, anyone of you wanna hear it?

>>744837717
I feel you anon, you always just wish she'd tell you to fuck off, so you could just accept it, but she never does.

>>744837717
It's OK man, "my" girl texted me too today and I can't even sleep, it's the 2:30 in the morning here and I'm thinking of her

>>744837900
Do tell

>>744837205
>>744837709
>3rd grade
>the goofball of the class because i decided being a loner was boring and i like seeing people smile and stuff
>still doing very bad in school
>still severely depressed
>still fucking poor
>make a few decent friends but one really good friend
>dont want him coming over to my house because poor and embarrassed
>go to his house
>play whatever games he has, play outside and general fun kid stuff
>start flunking in school despite friends best efforts to help me study
>just dont care about school
>summer school
>fail
>friend moves on in school but we stay very close
>make no friends 2nd year of 3rd grade because i think im too cool for all these "little kids"
>enjoy good times with friend
>gonna grow old with this guy by my side
>friends dad is a "retired" gangbanger
>tries his hardest to keep that life away from his son
>friends dad gets into financial trouble
>fast forward a week or so
>had a great day with friend
>walking him home
>5 o clock ish
>leave friend on corner of his block, as i had to get home as quick as possible
>start walking back
>car full of niggers drives by me
>dontcare.jpg
>few seconds later shots are sent off
>run home as fast as possible
>friend doesnt show up to school
>1 week later
>friend still doesnt show up
>see friends mom in school picking up friends brother
>ask where friend is
>cries and invites me and my parents over to her house
>friend passed away
>shot in the heart
>lost my closest and only friend
>absolutely destroyed
>no will to do anything
>stop doing work in school again
>barely pass 3rd grade
fuck man writing this got me feeling like shit. more?

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>>744807693

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>I was never was attached to my dad
>don't remember anything significant about him
>he's a tall, bald, bulky looking dude I barely met as a kid
>family moved up to Canada with my grandmother after some shit went down and he went to prison in the US
>my mother got a new man who's pretty real and awesome even to this day
>new Daddio's always been a cool dude for the life that i remember
>dad in jail called us sometime
>2011 rolls around and I hear he's getting out of jail soon
>my 14 year old self is awkwardly "excited" to see him even though I barely know him
>my sister hates the fact I don't remember anything
>i try to but it's just bits and pieces, like when he stepped on the cat, and when he took me for rides in his police cruiser
>it's so hard to try and remember
>the day comes and we drive to meet him in Minnesota
>open van door and get out to see this rough man with stress on his face
>he looks like me
>he hugs me and tells me he loves me
>"who are you?" my head screamed out
>feel awkward and don't even bother speaking to him
>all he knows about me is that I like writing songs and playing guitar
>to this day he tries to talk to me about it but I can't find any connection
>I want to love him as a father but I just can't

>>744838357
Kk alright, so I moved away from all my friends in high school, I had a bunch of close friends, it was the happiest year of my life. I was interested in this girl, of course, but I got dragged away, I went through a year of school without making a single friend, not even a single acquaintance. But I kept talking to this girl over text, we learn a lot about each other, she shares all my morals based around dating, she's into all the same stuff as me, and she is adorable. So we talk almost daily, for most of the year, and I hatch a plan to come back to my old friends and that school, I'm there now, I've already fallen in love with this girl, she's 80% of my thoughts by this point. So I tell her how I feel, she gives the, "No for now, maybe you have a chance though." Answer. I expected it, I'm not too good looking so I fully expected it. So I come back to where I was, and I started hanging out with this girl all the time, going to her house and what not, she comes over to my friend and I's apartment and we go shopping together sometimes. We always have fun, and this week, I've been meaning to ask her again, like the pathetic faggot I am, but I found out through subtle hints that she's already dating some other faggot I've never met, and she never even told me. Despite knowing how I felt. She still invites me to come hang out with her and her bf, and I... I don't know how to deal with this. I put so much effort into shaping myself into a decent bf material, trying to bond with her, make some kind of connection, I want to spend time with her, it's what's on my mind 24/7 and I just can't anymore. I want to just ignore her, to just take it all back. But I love her, and I can't stay away. What do I do anons?

>>744838840
yeah, I know the feeling, my dad left when I was 5 because he can't handle life, spent 9 years just being homeless in cali. We didn't know where he was till he came back and pretended like nothing had happened.

I have a really cool stepdad and my biodad has another son and can't take care of him either. My grandmother supports him and they live in another state.

Only reason I even want to talk to them is so I can get to know my half brother. He also kinda messed up my relationship with my Gma and uncle because I don't ever want to visit them anymore because it's too weird.

Dubs or a 2 and I keep drinking

This thread is sooooo gay.....

>>744808593
I love you too anon.

Good reminder that the only people on this site that believe feels threads are stupid are the ones who've only found this site in the past year or so.

If you showed up here after /aco/ or webm support, you shouldn't even fucking post at all.

>>744839205
Dont go with them or youll never get with her. Find someone els, even if you dont care about them should atleast get her thinking that your not going to wait around while she has her fun

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I'm gonna share a reddit-tier feel, and any of you who have frustration you want to take out on somebody, any of you who want to feel powerful for a moment, feel free to rip into me because I'm too far gone for you to hurt my feelings.

Redditors like to watch Rick and Morty and think "omg I'm so much like Rick I'm so intelligent and nihilistic lmao the universe is an uncaring, infinite void and we don't matter". I watch Rick and Morty and think "oh my god, I'm too much like Rick, I'm a selfish, petty alcoholic who lowers the quality of life of everybody around him." My intelligence doesn't factor into it, other than that for as smart as I may be, I can't engineer a way out of the hole I'm in.

If any of you relate, that's awesome. Again, you can't hurt my feelings, so if you want to rip into me. go ahead.

Gonna bump this thread.

>>744842620
same bump

>>744808084
>Done everything. Still together.

Guess I don't belong here.

>>744843583
> did everything, ended horribly

I belong here.

>>744814921
You are better off, anon.

>>744843635
Tell me your story anon

>>744844263
Not a whole lot to share. We were both drunks, she had emotional issues, and in the end she got bored with me and left.

>>744843456

I think it's time to move along, friends.