Oven been living inside a closet of some old ladies home for

how you getting food and water ? and wifi?

>>744776581
I go downstairs and just steal from her, she's soo old she will never notice

>>744776329
ya ever think about raping her?

Bro nice

>>744776688
Noo way too old and her son visits her weekly, she will spill the beans to him

Have you ever been close to being caught? Any good stories?

>>744776329
Fucking hell, how did you get in that position

>>744776329
so how did you end up lving there are you a crackhead or?

How do you make money?
Also why tho are you like homeless?

>be 30+ years old
>still living with mom
>pretend like you dont know her and live in the closet

kys loser

>>744777036
I'm not gonna green text this
Sitting in the closet like usual browsing 4chan
Old bitch comes upstairs and in the room
Never came in the room before
I open the door a little bit and look wtf is going on
Bitch is searching for something under the bed in the room
I manage to crawl my way out of the room without her seeing me
I stayed in the room downstairs for the night

Do you fuck her for her to let you stay there?

>>744777437
I don't make money I became homeless after my parents kicked me out the house I knew of this lady she's been in the neighborhood since I was a boy and I just took my opportunity

>>744777406
I got kicked out of my home by my parents I knew she lived there since I was a kid soo I just sneaked into her house and kinda never left, I get free food and wifi soo I don't see a problem

>>744776329
how do u use the bathroom.

What's the plan when she dies?

>>744776329
do u plan on looking for a job

Also I should mention that she has a dog fucker is always in his cage in the room with her, I sneaked out durning night to get food from her fridge and the dog was there and he started barking so I kicked the shit out of the motherfucker now he knows not to bark at me

Have you received any letters from Hogwarts?

>>744777887
Usually at night to shit but I piss in bottles during the day and I don't take showers

>>744777900
Leave probably I can't pull this off if somebody younger moves in

>>744778069
Good one

>>744777303
The closet is really small

>>744778237
If this is legit, nice one.
Make sure to check on her every once in a while in case she has a heart attack

IMO if you streamed it you could get mad publicity

>>744778370
Jeezus

>>744778394
If she ever discovers me I'm gonna have to do the honors myself

>>744777992
>>744776329
So i guess not you wold rather stay in an old womans closet than get a job save some money get an apt and try to get laid at least.

>>744778584
I'm fine here in the closet I just browse 4chan and meditate all day, I'm also studying up in some alchemy pussy is overrated anyways anon

>>744778572
lmao
I'd say get out of there asap but I don't think you want to be in a homeless shelter

>>744778800
>I'm also studying up in some alchemy pussy is overrated anyways anon

yeah you sound like you belong in a closet.

>>744778800
Alchemy kek

In wich country do u live?

>>744778800
also checked

>>744779010
I've been in fair share of fights I don't think you want to start anything here bud

>>744779104
America

legendary

>>744779184
this does not suprise me

>>744779245
Nigger detected

>>744779119
kek shit bait, im not that easy

Life in my home was tough my parents would always bother me and tell me to get a job or do chores in the house while they're gonna but I had to study up on alchemy and after failed experiment in the garage they kicked me out

>>744779326
Edward?

>>744779326
>had to study alchemy
wat

>>744779286
Im anything but a nigger

>>744779407
Haha! I did like the anime it gave me a lot of insight on alchemy and what I could be capable of

>>744779326
highest level of autism ive seen in a while.

>>744779326
Did you turn your bro into a suit of armor?

>>744779119
Wtf? You realize that neither of you will EVER fucking see each other right? Why you trying to act hard over the internet?

Hold up you don't shower...

Do you stink or do you keep yourself clean otherwise

>>744779461
> I'm anything but a nigger
So you're a faggot?

>>744779326
Is this a reference to a movie?
Was anon right that you are pretending to be Harry Potter?

>>744779461
Easy nigger, easy

>>744779567
I don't need to shower I just wash my feet in the sink sometimes

>>744779509
oh wait the autism keeps going off the spectrum

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>>744779524
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Legit question for you, OP, have you stollen and jacked it to her old lady panties?

>>744779709
Zozzle

>>744778394
This. Stream that shit, this will make you money.

>>744779515
No I dag up our dead dog and tried to bring him back I didn't mean anything harmful and my parents won't understand that

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>>744779326
> but I had to study up on alchemy
My nigga what

lol wat is thiss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YygZR63oQKs

>>744779119
>I've been in a fair share of intranet arguments. Don't think you wanna start anything here with me, kid
My ducking sides

>>744779804
Thanks for the reply :^) I thought this thread was turning into cancer

>>744779326
Tell me about the failed experiment

>>744779810
Huh

>>744779933
This

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>>744779810

>>744779326
What failed experiment OP...

>>744779933
In detail. how did you try to bring the dog back.

>>744779933
quad dubs demands it

>>744780002
Trips checkd

>>744779933
checked

TELL US THE EXPERIMENT OP

>>744779933
I had a dog called shad
He's been with me for 10 years since I was 12
He died and I was really sad about it
I thought I could bring him back
Do t get me wrong at this point I was experienced in alchemy and I have watched countless videos about it
I dug up the dogs body and brought him into the garage
I began to cut my wrists with a knife to get my blood for the ritual but then my parents walked in and freaked out

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>>744780230
Holy shit

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>>744780124

>>744780230
dumb parents

>>744780230
so you basically cut yourself over a dead dog
>edgy emo get out

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>>744780230
kek
i really hope this is true OP.

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>>744780124

>>744780230
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwpuGrYoLMM

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>>744780230
> Do t get me wrong at this point I was experienced in alchemy and I have watched countless videos about it
KEK

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>>744780230
/b/ - Random
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>744780485
*autistic

>>744780230
Are you waiting for the old lady to die so you can use your alchemy to bring her back to life?

Are you really a closet angel?

>>744780230
>Do t get me wrong at this point I was experienced in alchemy and I have watched countless videos about it
There are two kinds of people in this world:
Those who have done the same at one point in their lives and those who will not admit to that

>>744780230
this has to be true, no one could make this up

Hey guys, wouldn't it be hilarious if someone else broke in and killed the old lady, robbery or whatever, and they find OP's prints all over the house. Talk your way out of that ya autistic squatter.

>>744780230
Tell us more about your Alchemy study

>>744780602
I know I could of brought that dog back to life but my parents walked in
Idk about a human though

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>>744780124
Are fucking dumb m8

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>>744780230
the amount of bait and retardation in one post is astounding

>>744780769
inb4 youtube

>>744780230
Lol, that animu shit isn't real dude.
Do your chores.
Get a job.
You ungrateful little shit.

>>744780769
It really started with the fullmetal alchemist anime
But then I watched videos of real people doing it so I quit playing football and began on my restless studies

>>744777709
Where does the old gal sleep? Do you snore loudly?

>>744780916
this x10000000000000000000000

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Dear lord I want this thread to be real so badly.

toasting in epic bread

>>744780901
>>744780999
called it

>>744780230
>Comments are owned by the Poster.

>>744781007
She sleeps in room downstairs but sometimes she's on the living room couch
And I dont snore due to my years of meditation

>>744776329
Hey Op you're a creepy fuck and seriously mentally ill

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>>744780999
> It really started with the fullmetal alchemist anime
What anime can do to a man is horrifying, holy shit dude

>>744780999
People can edit videos very easily you know this right????

>>744781202
who pays for watches [period]?
Never bought a watch, I get my watches from cereal boxes. Its like paying for porn when you can get it for free

OP, how old are you?

>>744780999
op has been getting all bread

>>744780999
TELL US MORE OP PLEASE

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It's been about 5 years conducting my studies
I've seen a lot of improvements
Lately I've been able to do things like go outside of the closet in my sleeping star
I think I'm close to discovering something

>>744781586
toasting in epic bread

This is such a fucking bait thread, but I want to see the end.

>>744781586
wtf is a sleeping star

>>744781586
maybe that you have sever autism ?

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>>744781586

>>744781586
Can you levitate?

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>>744781586
> I've been able to do things like go outside of the closet in my sleeping star
Holy shit this nigga has ASCENDED TO ANOTHER DIMENSION

>>744781705
Sleeping star is the state I enter while sleeping
I can roam freely outside the closet without noticing me
Kinda like ryuk from death note

>>744781712
This is worse than severe autism

>>744781586
It's said one must kill a live human being to be able to perform true alchemy.
You know what you must do, young padawan.

>>744781825
Can you do more stuff like that?

>>744781825
>>744781586
You have broken my bull shit meter kid

you virgin?

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I'm actually surprised you guys are interested in this topic
I will bring the world something they have never seen give me few more years

SHOW US YOUR NOTEBOOK OP PLEASE

ITT: a schizophrenic NEET got kicked out of his house because he won't get a job and tried to ressurect his dog with information learned from anime about slitting your wrists. Now he hides in the closet of an old woman and plans on murdering her if discovered

Fucking 4chan dude.

>>744782081
look at the the power in that hand. im convinced

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>>744782081
Godspeed anon

this nigga W O K E

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>>744779326
>>744780230

is this real life

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>>744782081
>I'm actually surprised you guys are interested in this topic
are you shitting?
You are going to inspire generations to come

>>744782081
You're going to get discovered by police and put in a mental home where you fucking belong you goddamn psycho. Holy shit I feel bad for your parents.

>>744782081
where are your marks from cutting your wrists when almost resurecting your dog?

>>744782081
Show us your notebook

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>>744779738
>I am trained in gorilla warfare
>and I still can't spell it right

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>>744782320
no prison can hold OP
He is in another dimension

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>>744782352

>>744782081
pics you fag

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>>744782423
This is my daily routine written down
I can't show you guys much of my studies they are secret

>>744782352
this faggot

>>744782604
Do you do poison?

>>744782604
i can barely make this shit out, is that a ingredient list ?

>>744782604
You're literally just having psychotic breaks in an old lady's closet and raiding her fridge because your parents asked you to get a job.

>>744782797
This, take a better pic OP

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>>744778800

quadruple dubs = divine Truth & Wisdom.

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>>744781586

>TFW you go outside in the sleeping star

>>744782797
1. wake up
2. ???
3. food
4. Practise Alchemy
5 ???

>>744776329

You been to Narnia yet?

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OP please show the closet !

and scars!!!!

otherwise your studies are SHIT !!!

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>>744780230

>>744780230
>shad

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>>744782962

>>744783026
This

>>744783133
What a fucking faggot

>>744783133
You write like an mentally handicap, but then again, you are.

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>>744782962
My goals page don't worry I'll be a good alchemist

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>>744783133
Someone include me in the screen cap upside down bottom right, so much autism

>>744783026
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

>>744783133
Anon, I'm a straight male, 23, and I shave my legs...
But you... you're gay as hell aren't you?

>>744782962
2: Meditate
5: Star State

wake up
meditate
food
practice alchemy
star stu something

>>744783345
thanks

holy fuck bro i thought i was retarded

but i'm not practicing "alchemy" and meditation in an old ladies closet at least so, hey thanks for inspiring me to try harder in life

>>744783294
>that handwriting
You sure you do not want to become a doctor?

>>744783294
OP is quickly scribbling this shit just to post it

You are fake news.

>>744783294
im not even gonna try to make this one out, its just some gibberish proly

Op why not perform some Alchemy for us?

Does she have any Percocet?

>>744783511
^^^^^^^^^^^

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Full closet pics my pair of jeans and socks
Bitch has a lot of covers so I'm comfy

>>744783485
thats what im thinking

>>744779524
it would be funny if he was the old woman's son

>>744783699
Perform some Alchemy for us

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>>744783699
do you wash your clothes?

alchimist anon, you should try to go beyond death you know like choke yourself until you see the light and tell us exactly how it was.
I think you are the chosen one

>>744783865
I cannot show you my alchemy since my study isn't done yet ,I might use some on her dog soon

>>744783763
If you are thinking this you are a fool there's years of research in this book

>>744783985
Oh boy

>>744778155
How do you flush the toilet without her hearing, exactly?

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>>744783985
>,I might use some on her dog soon

>>744783985
kill and ressurect her dog

>>744784070
I shit at night I have already explained this, she usually sleeps soundly and I already established things with her dog

>>744783985
Fullmetal alchemist all over again

>>744784121
That's what I was planning I need to gather the needed things for the ritual

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toasting in epic bread

>>744783985
Okay I'll say it, what are you going to do to the poor woman's dog?

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Someone screencap this is gold

>>744782776

Could you send someone to a place so relaxing they might forget to live?

>>744784214
Uh huh and what are you going to do when she finds out that the dog has been killed by a mysterious person in her house?

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I'm like a walking timebomb
You guys cannot comprehend what I have echievied in these studies

>>744784214
And what things do you need?

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Teach me your ways senpai

>>744784350
I N C O M P R E H E N S I B L E

>>744784350
OP is losing it

>>744784350
HOW DO YOU BEND YOUR FINGERS?!

>>744784355
Basically the structure of a dog
2-3 pounds of meat
Water
Blood

>>744784350
mostly cuz we cant read your shit hand writing

>>744784350
Please do something amazing for us, do something outrageous

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>>744784350
can you give more concrete examples then cutting wrists and unburrying dead dogs?

>>744784460
Oh yeah that's all that's in a dog
Lets forget about all the chemical compounds, amino acids, micro elements.
Yeah just meat, water and blood
BAHAHAHA

>>744784460
Just kill someone, easy

>>744784491
kek

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>>744784599
that's what he needs, not whats in a dog
>BAHAHAHA

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>>744784460
thats all it takes to resurrect a dog huh?

>>744784582
This

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perform alchemy on a vagina

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This thread

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>>744781825
>like ryuk from death note

THIS

FUCKING

THREAD

>>744784606
Im powerful in my mind right now
Like I said I can achieve the star form
I could kill the dog I already tried the powers on my self I have a scar in my back to prove it but to take a human down will require me few Moreno years probably

Someone sceencap this thread

>>744784704
Op's never even seen a vagina

>>744784914
Pics of scar

>>744784914
> I already tried the powers on my self I have a scar in my back
Post pic of scar you madman

>>744784914
Anon you got to be carefull.

You want to seek the root right?

It's not what we imagined.

It will consume you completely.

op is going places, like jail and the mental ward when the police finds him

>>744783985
MFW he murders her dog and says his alchemy was a success

OP here, mom made me leave the closet, it was nice talking to you xd got to clean the dishes now

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>>744785009

OP pls briefly explain how where u going to bring doggo back to life?

When was the last time u took a shower?

You dont wash your clothes either?

Real op here, it was all fake, i live with my mom and dad

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I'm so glad this thread is archived forever for the generations to come on
https://archived.moe/b/thread/744776329
https://thebarchive.com/b/thread/744776329

thank you op!
I have a feeling this thread will be on reddit tomorrow

>>744785184
thats no scar you sperg, its a stretch mark

Screencap this somebody

>>744785184
Nice scar

>>744785282
>>744785165
Try again you imposters you will be the first one I will take life from

>>744785184
barbaric

>>744785299
>reddit
Kys

>>744785299
Someone make a screencap plz

>>744785184
I expected it to be real fucking big

>>744785328
>>744785393
if someone screencaps add the archives in them . you can't enlarge images in a screencap you know.

>>744785367
You're going to jail faggot

>>744785367
is that a threat, you dont know me little human, be very careful who you are talking to right now, i could make your life a living hell. i know where you are.

Op i have the address, calling the cops rn, i hope you die in jail

>>744785367
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>744785615
You don't know who I am,but I know where you live,austismo alchemist

>>744783294
Translation for the non-autistic:

Am I a yoli! I cun't
noo here longer I will
discover the true olivic
power and tak ny vamme
on the evil R2 ago

ASSOAOVE

It was nice talking to some of you
I will return
It's a goodbye for now I have to catch up on my studies

>>744776329
what an obvious troll but like 80% here just WANT to believe.
Shows you how shit b is that even such a bad troll story can generate so much interaction

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>>744785432

>>744785763
godspeed, Full Autismo Alchemist

>>744785763
you will be missed, edward

>>744785763
This nigga finna end up in a sewer

>>744785789
>bad troll story
fuk u bro

>>744785763
bye anon

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>>744782182
I know right? Who needs TV when you have shit like this.

>>744785763
Fucking legend

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Now that op is gone, who made a screencap?

>>744785707
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

>>744786085
Make one now faggots

>>744784606
this

kill dog
kill the old lady
use dead old lady to resurrect her doggo
>profit

>>744785707
Stale pasta

File: hifumibread.jpg (61KB, 580x493px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 580x493px

lol what the fuck OP

>>744786168
Cant, phonefag

SCREENCAP NOWWWW

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51KB, 504x379px

Nice bait OP. The alchemy was a bit over the top though

>>744786446
>>744786085
stop bumping the thread
it is going to die before someone caps it
>sage

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2MB, 320x240px

Who the fuck needs screencaps when you can view it later?
https://thebarchive.com/b/thread/744776329

>>744786699
This.

>>744786088
Rick and Morty is like Philosophy. The actual thing is nice but the people who obsess over it are cancerous and pretentious

Add me to the screencap at a 25 degree angle with motion blur applied

>>744786699
Screencaps are more fun imo

>>744776329
How do u charge the phone?

If this is true u should write a diary, it would be gold. Steal some books and read, or u will get crasy.

>>744786699
Screencaps can be reposted later easily

>>744787220
>>744777777
wtf?

>>744784460
+ ELIXER

Jojo

File: thismotherfucker.gif (2MB, 400x206px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 400x206px

>>744784350

How do you know what op posts?

WHERES MY SCREENCAP FAGGOTS

>>744787628
Alt + f4

/b/ isn't dead after all

File: IMG_2467.jpg (85KB, 750x741px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 750x741px

>>744787735
It isnt dead at all

>>744787628
you must be gold chan user to see OP posts

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67KB, 1008x606px

>>744787641
It's too big nigger.

>>744778054
you are not OP

>>744788029
post your CM3D2 Maids.

>>744785184
Is that where they removed your tail? woot

>>744788029
This is not how screencaps work, you can't just screenshot the whole entire page.

>>744788205
I can, just did, and my miner continues to.

>>744785763
full mental autist