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Where my Florida bros at? Yall ready to die this weekend?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 246
Thread images: 56

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Where my Florida bros at? Yall ready to die this weekend?
>>
Central FL here
IRMA can suck my dick
>>
>>744335039
904 here. I should be ok.
>>
miami dade aqui, fam and i are dipping for the weekend leaving tom night
>>
>>744335039
Better post those Fl nudes before we all die
>>
>>744335276
double this ^^
>>
hello from polk county my brethren
>>
>>744335039
850 here. Hoping it takes out all the East coast fags first. With any luck Miami will be submerged once and for all.

Learn to swim bitches!
>>
Any HHS/PHS c/o '12/'13 here
>>
>>744335583
Tampa area specifically
>>
Ocala, you cheeky cunts.
>>
r4w5GNe
>>
south tampa here
>>
Any kisseemee or celebration
>>
>>744335711
wtf is that
>>
Volusia reporting in. If it's projected to go up east coast I'm getting the fuck out of here friday
>>
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Leon district, how fucked am I?
>>
>>744335245
If you hurry you can make it to NC.

Oh wait..

https://www.ventusky.com/?p=21.3;-74.9;4&l=wind&t=20170911/15&m=gfs
>>
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>>744335039

Orlando checking in. Yeah, we're fucked.
>>
>>744335835
Plant?
>>
813 plant city here Ready to jerk off like a mad man on top of my roof while firing my rifle in the air
>>
727, we'll be underwater
>>
Southwest FLfag reporting in
Hurricanes are only bad for third world shitholes and places that don't have proper drainage
Don't believe the media hype. Yes there will be damage, yes unprepared dumbasses in trailer parks might die, but it isn't a big deal if you board up and sandbag up
The eye of Charlie went over my house and absolutely nothing happened
>>
North Lauderdale reporting in
>>
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>>744336255

Tell that shit to Texas.
>>
>>744336170
no, south tampa
>>
Anyone got any North Tampa girls?
>>
239 here, am I going to die?
>>
>>744336341
Plant high school is what I meant to ask
>>
Just left the 954 for 303. CO is so much better than FL
>>
>>744335039
you guys gona die, or meaby Irma may take a second hit in Texas
>>
Marion county here. Who ready to get comfy?
>>
>>744336313
>third world shitholes
>>
>>744336366
no, i moved here from out of state a year ago
>>
Better learn how to swim fellow Floridians.
>>
>>744336471
Kek
>>
>>744335143
>Central FL here
>IRMA can suck my dick

pretty much this.
>>
Ayy 305 miami beach we're fucked xD
>>
>>744336354
I'm 239 too, you wanna meet up and fuck before we die?
>>
>>744335929
kek kinda weird to see someone asking for this particular area...

but yes, yes.
>>
>>744336313
Texas was poorly prepared, has bad drainage, and lots of old levees that weren't up to code
The storm also stalled over it for like 4 days
If this storm stalls, it will be an issue, yes, that that most likely won't happen
>>
Need sum 863 before we get flooded
>>
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Miami here, been living under a rock. How bad is this really? Should I leave town?
>>
>>744336164

Orlando here. Conway area.

Live on a "hill", block two story house. Nothing in front of me - wide open vista for about 1/2 a mile. Wind is gonna smash me.

Sewer lift station about 250 feet from me. If that shit fails it's gonna get messy.
>>
>>744336565
im on the 9th floor of a concrete apartment building in miami. should i drive to north carolina/virginia or just ride it out?

>>744336644
i too need to know this
>>
904 here. Not too worried, tbh. Gonna get stocked up on the last of my supplies tomorrow but probably staying put. >>744336164
Was in Orlando for Charley and the 3 others back to back. Power was out for a couple weeks at my place just south of downtown.
>>
>>744336713
>im on the 9th floor of a concrete apartment building in miami. should i drive to north carolina/virginia or just ride it out?

check the FEMA flood maps for your area first.

you will be fine however. might be stuck in the building for a few days. my advice buy some waders.

>>744336674
same, buy some waders. also I doubt your two story house is solid concrete all the way up, they almost NEVER build them like that here.
>>
>>744336541

Isn't it passing right through us?
>>
What's up faggots. Lakeland fag here. All you pussies asking for nudes better nut up. Stop posting these threads if you can't contribute, or just kill yourselves. Honestly if you're on tinder or whatever the fuck and can't get pussy around here, you must be mentally deficient, or look the the fucking hunchback of Norte Dame.
>>
>>744336572
239 as well, lets fucking do it
>>
>>744335039
>inb4 Irma bails on Florida and nails Texas for a double KO
>>
Yellowstone is about to pop like a big cist on the back of a hairy mans back.
>>
>>744335039
Melbourne here lets fucking DO THIS! YEAH DROWNING!!
>>
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>>744336641
Fucking pussy we won't get flooded grow a pair
>>
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321. Totally unprepared.
Here have my ex/ baby mama
>>
>>744337047
Wouldn't the back of a back be the front?
>>
>>744336948

It's block, all the way up to roof. I also have a furnished basement (windows at ground level), also rare in FL. Not in a flood zone, but have flood insurance.
>>
>>744337018
Been secretly expecting this to happen
>>
>>744337018
I'd kek.

>FINISH THEM!

>>744337001
they don't know where its going yet, wont know until Thursday for sure.
>>
>>744337016
239 lets make it a threesome?
>>
>>744335039
305 here, I'm ready to die with my family
>>
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>>744337018
>>
>>744335039
561

flying the fuck out tomorrow fuck this
>>
>>744337219
so fucking dramatic.

the eye of Charley went over my house, didn't even fucking lose power, and I'm not an idiot that lives in places that are built on swamps.
>>
>>744337193
>>744337016
Imma guess neither of yall are grills?
That's cool but just wondering
>>
>>744337193
Hell yeah im a bottom all the way
>>
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Orlando here. Should I stay or should I leave? What are you fuckers doing?
>>
North Tampa fags anywhere?
>>
>>744337321
not girl
>>
>>744337361
I'm staying because I'm not a retard. Just grow a pair. The storm isn't that bad. If you don't live in a trailer built on a swamp you have no worries.
>>
>>744337271
fellow 561, where are you headed?
>>
>>744335039
Fuck YOU, Chuck.
>>
>>744337134
You right. Double negative. I blame Houston on kelcy warren and T. rex tillerboy.
>>
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Please let this storm wash away all of Parkland.
>>
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>>744337434
different 561 here, riding the train to DC on friday morning
>>
>>744336713
Do you want to keep your car?
>>
321 here, half mile off the coast. Storms just gonna catch a wind and give the Carolinas another round of dick or even better head back on over Texas to cool them off after that hot storm. Worst case scenario Florida soaks up water like the hometown girls here suck dick.
>vehemently.
>>
>>744337434
new orleans, if it goes into gulf then i fly to denver


godspeed 561 anon
>>
>>744337361

Staying. We'll be fine. Could be a little uncomfortable afterwards - I had no power for 12 days after Charlie, but unless you're in a fucking trailer, you'll be good.
>>
>>744337536
i think im going o head to west Georgia with my doggos.
>>
It's going to turn.
They always turn.
Fuck this hype
>>
>>744337361
If you don't live in a flood zone.. you're good, if you do, just buy waders and gallon baggies, black trash bags, and zipties.
>>
I'll be blasting this loud enough for my neighbors to hear just as the storm starts moving in. Gonna love their expression
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mbBbFH9fAg
>>
>>744335039
727 here. any others? are you staying?
>>
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>>744337007
Here's some
>>
>>744337007
The salt from the ocean has arrived early
>>
>>744336588
Wanna post my ex wondering if anyone is from there
>>
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>>744337778
Another 863
>>
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>>744337811
863
>>
>>744337518
This is more accurate
>>
904 jax
>orange park
>surrounded by nogland
>/comfy/
>>
>>744337794
how old is she? if she's below like 20, I probably wont even know her anyway.
>>
>>744337642
oh shit
>>
>>744337133
>baby mama

this guy Floridas
>>
32.5974° N, 82.3337° W

Pretty blonde here

She isn't going anywhere
>>
>>744335039
Volusia, 20 miles inland. Gonna be a cake walk. 2007 house, concrete block, single story. Hurricane garage, Windows and doors. Plus it's a massive duplex house, four 1500 sqft homes all attached and mine one of the two in the middle. I live in a fortess.
>>
>>744336713
The city of Miami Beach offers free parking in all city garages to keep your car safe from flooding. I wouldnt worry too much if you live in a sound structure. Put up some plywood on your windows and youre good
>>
>>744337007
How do you get nudes in lakeland? post yourself posed in your daddy's lifted truck wearing camo everything, drinking a budlight with newports in the dash?

the description reads "If you wanna do meth hit me up!"
>>
>>744337133
is her name jennifer?
>>
>>744338187
It's Jessica
>>
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305
>>
Melbourne here, hopefully all this rain will wash away all the niggers on university. Needs a good scrubbing
>>
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>>744337670
us in a week
>>
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>>744338187
>>744338269
Negative
>>
>>744338506
Lol poorfag with a wooden house deserves to be homeless.
>>
>>744338524
Disgusting ass crack.
>>
>>744335547
You think they will all drown? Shit.. Miami is already home to some of the best swimmers in the world.
>>
>>744338125
fanks m8
>>
>>744338551

le edgy 12 year old xD
>>
>>744338506
Because trump doesn't believe in global warming. All this could have been prevented. And yes I didn't capitalize his name on purpose trump doesn't deserve it.
>>
>>744335213
same, everyone is so fuking scared, hurricanes arent shit compared to tornadoes
>>
>>744338679
>Miami is already home to some of the best swimmers in the world

kek'd

>only a real Floridian would know
>>
>orlando

aint too worried but nigga we cant find water
>>
>>744338789
yup. tornadoes don't fuck around . ill take hurricanes any day.
>>
>>744337811
C.C??
>>
>>744337811
Please more!!!
>>
>>744338600
virgin detected
>>
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ANYONE listen, heating up the storm via an energy beam can dissipate it. using a laser from a distance and refracting it to cover a larger area could heat up the storm and cause it to dissipate
>>
>>744338847
Charley guy here.

the only time they issue a boil water [tap] is when pipes break, the pipes don't break during hurricanes and tap water wont stop flowing, same with gas stuff [water heater/stoves]

just drink shitty tap for a few days.

I how ever, have a whole pallets worth of bottled water just because I buy it in bulk like every 2 months.
>>
plant city i hope it fucks up the water tower
>>
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>>744335039
904 Reporting in.
I am not ready for shit. However, people in my area are freaking out and buying everything they can. Personally I am not worried, but i'll probably buy a few canned goods or some shit.
>>
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>>744338600
Never said she was a porn star, virgin. Just the woman I regrettably created a child with.
>>
>>744339136
as long as you have enough ammo, crowbar, lockpit set, and big enough backpack, you're solid m8.
>>
>>744338990
Tell her to wash herself more often you degenerate.
>>
>>744338269
if thats jessica from port saint lucy I used to hit it.
>>
>>744339224
Post her face. I want to see if it makes up for her stained ass crack.
>>
>>744339224
>that smoll pee pee.

kek.
>>
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anyone got her?
>>
>>744339351
Not posting her face but you can fuck right off if you're not enjoying it. Just sharing some 321 ass not trying to impress any anons.
>>
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>>744339234
In all reality the ammo is all that really matters in that list.
>>
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>>744338979
>>
>>744337306
the eye is the calmest part and charley wasnt close to a category 4
>>
>>744338269
the hair, skin tone, small titties, and pussy look familiar. she's got a daughter and a son right?
>>
east delray beach reporting for death sirs
>>
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>>744338132
Exactly bro. Bitches love meth.
>>
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>>744339386
Yea I got a pencil dick lol. Still gets me sum fuck tho.
>>
>>744339629
> the hair, skin tone, small titties, and pussy look familiar.

try saying this in your head. it sounds so fuckin weird
>>
>>744339540
Yeah your taste in women isn't impressing anyone you faggot. You are a nigger and will fuck anything.
>>
>>744339629
You are correct and her daughter is really cute.
>>
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>>744339629
Nope. You're confusing two different posters as just one anon.
>>
>>744337084
lego boi
>>
>>744338768
Feds out of Florida! The welfare state is for the unrighteous!
>>
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>>744339830
Cool bro sounds like you know me well.
>>
SoFlo fag here. This is what it's like down here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QQcXYSh3_8
>>
>>744336210
You must live in shit pete
>>
>>744336255
>I've never been significantly impacted by a hurricane
your arrogance won't save you when something happens.
>>
>>744340204
Such a weak looking hand and wrist.
>>
>>744335526
My nigga
>>
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>>744338768
Because believing in global warming would have prevented this hurricane...
>If we use our feelings we can wish it away!!
>>
>>744337151
>Not in a flood zone, but have flood insurance.
practically the only way they'll give it to you.
>>
>>744339617
Yes, the eye is calm, but the eyewall is the strongest part of the storm. It also means you get a large amount of rain/wind because the center of a fat circle goes over you
>>
>>744335039
Please also strike everywhere marked in BLACK on this map, Irma-senpai.
>>
>>744336255

>239

fucking faggot
>>
>>744340373
Ever seen a windmill? And we could have been doing something about cooling the waters around the states since they make them stronger.
>>
>>744335039
>>744335143
>>744335213
>>744335245

Legendary Storm Chaser Jeff Piotrowski Panics Over Irma: ‘Rooftops Will Be Ripped Off, Windows 15-30 Stories High Blown Out’

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2017/09/legendary-storm-chaser-jeff-piotrowski-panics-irma-rooftops-will-ripped-off-windows-15-30-stories-high-blown-video/
>>
>>744338462
>melbourne
>university
you mean the community college?
>>
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Irma is gonna be a fucking meme
>>
>>744340322
I'll be warm and dry in my up to code house on a "hill" (or as close as FL gets to having hills) with strong windows and heavy metal shutters, don't you worry
We'd have to get over 5 feet of rain before it would touch my doorstep
>>
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>>744340580
What the fuck does a windmill have to do with a hurricane? How are we going to cool the waters?
>>
>>744336354
>>744336572
>>744337016
>
>>744337016
>>744337193
>>744337321
>>744337410
massive orgy lets get it boys i got pot
>>
>>744340839
>I'll be warm and dry in my up to code house on a "hill" (or as close as FL gets to having hills) with strong windows and heavy metal shutters, don't you worry
>We'd have to get over 5 feet of rain before it would touch my doorstep
wut I don't even live on a hill and there's a swamp like 800 yards west, we'd need like 10 feet of water to rise before it's even close.
>>
>>744336255
Despite your doubled digits, I expect your house to be flooded, possessions destroyed, car wrecked, and life ruined. Enjoy your karma, anon.
>>
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>>744340342
ikr? But I guess we can't all be lucky enough to have fat sausage fingers and dough boy hands like yourself.
>>
>>744340839
the best laid plans of mice and men

I don't think it's flooding we have to worry about for this one.
>>
>>744335039
Any water in Orlando. I'm white help 407
>>
>>744341021
>I'm white
I was going to say no, but in that case....
>>
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>>744341021
>Any water in Orlando
yeah the downtown area/around the lake floods bretty bad. basically the more the value of the homes goes up, the more flooding happens. i shit you not.
>>
>>744340861
Windmills keep the air cooler thus keeping the waters somewhat cooler. Me and my friend have been discussing this tonight. Now if trump and bush would have invested in machines the waters would have been cooler. Obama wasn't allowed because of the republican senate.
>>
>>744335039
863 here. No supplies or shutters. Pretty much gonna die.
>>
>>744341011
Hence the up to code house, windows, and shutters
Hurricanes usually only damage houses if trees fall on them or if debris breaks a window open and lets the wind in, ripping your roof off
Worst damage that will happen is my pool screen might rip off, but they're cheap and I know a guy
>>
>>744339540

Damn anon. I just moved from 321 to Chicago. Her ass looks like it loves a good cock.
>>
305 here, it's been real boys
>>
>>744337836
I want her so badly.
>>
>>744340993
You are incorrect. I myself are like Chad Thundercock. I slay prime puss not white trash whores you get from a trailer park. You are a disgrace and you spread your shit jeans.
>>
nah thats jeniffer miller port st lucie
>>744338269
>>
941 baby, lets get this shit. Hurricane season is my favorite time of the year.
>>
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>>744341213
Yea she took it in the ass pretty good til she got fat and boring after having a kid.
>>
>>744340456
Actually, it's required when you're in a flood zone... if you want a mortgage, anyway.
>>
>>744335662
KHS '12, hello
>>
>>744338437
Got more 305?
>>
>>744337778
BRO yes! i knew this chick from Harrison, please post more of her if you got it
>>
eliany lugo? 305?
>>
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>>744341162
the problem with your idea is that windmills affect the local areas. This hurricane, like many others, started up way out in the ocean where the windmills have no effect whatsoever. The only effect that they could have is to help dissipate the hurricane when it lands in Florida.
>>
>>744341405
>Shit jeans
Lol cool story bro
>>
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Orlando here.

Leaving the state and heading up north for the week. Good luck to everyone who stays behind.
>>
>>744342054
FUCK YOU PUSSY FAGGOT
>>
>>744342054
Pussy. Hope your house gets looted
>>
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863 LKLND fag here, heading up to either St. Augustine or Jville friday night, good luck cucks
>>
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Orlando here. Irma can take this dicc, also having a hurricane party
>>
954 just stocked up on booze and liquor. Drugs, too. I'm fookin' ready
>>
>>744342201
Me too man.
>>
>>744336674
Conway area too. Survived Charley. Feel like an old war veteran. Let's go.
>>
>>744335662
Would be nice to take that Cigar City brewing beer with you...
>>
561 here.
Only thing that has me worried is my neighbors shitty tree falling through my room. Besides that, I think we'll be ok.
>>
>>744342296
it's the fucking missing link
>>
>>744335039
954 broward here. I go to FIU and the school is closed now. Shits serious. Im going to get hit, this shit is going to be pretty bad.

Got cases of water and some canned food. I was here for Wilma and it took almost a month to get power back. Hoping ten years later, things may be better. Many are saying its going to be worse than Andrew.
>>
Ft. Lauderdale here! We'll bo OK.
>>
im ready in 727 pasco if it is my time so be it.
>>
>>744341144
Haha I'm black thanks Jew
>>
While we're all here can I get a definitive ranking of Florida cities by how hot their girls are?

1. miami
2. tallahassee
3. gainesville
4. orlando
5. tampa

that has to be top five, right?
>>
>>744336948
>FEMA flood maps
I was just looking at these and they are outdated and wrong for my area
>>
Broward... New gf is supposed to come stay in my '99 house... old gf (who I still am crazy for and see on the side but she wont commit) asked if she can maybe stay with me... Wont give a for sure.... my biggest fear is her showing up while the new girl is over once the wind picks up and her dumb ass starts seeing this is serious and her place is a shit hole...
>>
I have a plan
>everyone get one of those big ass fans
>point toward hurricane
>blow.jpg
>no more hurricane
>>
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727 here. Good luck to y'all tho i don't think it'll hit too bad also here's my ex
>>
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>>744335039

>>744344042

Hey guys. Irma here. Why are you afraid of my love?
>>
>>744344820
were in the 727 is she at
>>
305 here not ready at all but if anyone is worried we should all just dump nudes. I mean why not
>>
>>744336210
727 as well, there's been lines at every gas station all day, are we gonna get fucked ??
>>
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Browardfag. Can't wait for the Mad Max tier anarchy afterwards.
>>
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>>744335039
407 reporting. Hurricanes don't scare me, we moved here and Hugo was supposed to wipe Florida out. Did it? No.
>>
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Who's the faggot now /b/ ?
>>
>>744335583
HAHA '11 here. Good times were had.
>>
>>744335583
HHS '11 here. Good times were had.
>>
>>744346697
>fattened up so he can ride out the storm without food for a longer amount of time
Smart thinking anon.
>>
>>744335039
ya'll gon get fucked.
>>
>>744338506
I was in Andrew, nothing that substantial was left anywhere near the eye. Everything was dead flat for as far as you could see. The media said only like 8 people died, but locals know where that eye went, the cities where nothing but illegals lived.

Educated guess was between 30K and 50K were dashed to pieces in 300+ mph gusts, It was brutal.

Evacuate.
>>
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>>744347239
Fuck you nigger that was mostly a trailer park and a mobile home park that got wiped out faggot I was in fort myers during that hurricane we had nothing but strong winds the people who lived a cross the street from me were out in the wind and rain that day funny thing is my brother ended up marrying and having a kid with the girl across the street.
>>
>>744346634
After Andrew, the eye path became huge tent cities for survivors.

It was pretty much Burning Man for about a year out in the wasteland. We used to go out there and party with them all the time.
>>
>>744348282
Homestead was leveled. You were way too far north to feel the eye.
>>
>>744335213
Holla.... Section 904. Duval
>>
>>744335039
any shit state that voted for trump deserves a shit year.
>>
As much as i want to evac i cant, i live in hollywood so if we get hit, its going to hurt. House is at least made with blocks and not full wood but if the roof goes I am unsure what to do then.

If the cars dont get tossed I may seek shelter in them or my other neighbors house. Time will tell.
>>
>>744348709

Well at least with trump I got to keep my gun rights to protect whats left of my shit. Hilary would force me to give them my MREs because I have some and they dont.
>>
I say let it destroy Houston again. We might as well use Texas as the meat Shield. After all, they've already suffered the destruction it cannot get any worse. Why take out Florida in the process. I hope the hurricane goes to the gulf and hits Houston.
>>
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>>744348505
Yeah well I'm in fort myers again and I'm gonna ride it out till the end.
I have no car and no where to go so I'll die with pride fucked up world anyway.
>>
>>744348801
Just half of them. Or most of them, to spread it all around.

God, I'm glad she lost.
>>
>>744346446
depends on the surge and your location
>>
>>744348908
hell she would also make us give them our spare guns and bullets so they can protect the shit they took from us.

But for real fuck her and the dems. Trumps no ray of sunshine but a fuck ton better than her
>>
>>744348801
yea well lets see how great your shit guns are against a hurricane.
>>
>>744348862
It should lose power crossing the state so a full on eye hit is probably not going to happen there.

I was in Ft Lauderdale for Andrew and we got tossed hard, but not much was leveled.
>>
>>744346644
the thing is, we always fear the worse so when it doesnt hit the extreme, well it seems like a walk in the park.

I hope it drops to atleast a cat 3 that way rescue can get out and help people and not find just bodies
>>
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To give you an ideal of how fucked I am, check out this map If the power plant takes damage and goes on melt down reeeep!
>>
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Miami Dade, think I live see next week?
>>
>>744349360
im getting out tomorrow night but i wish i could stay and ride it out. plenty of water and i aint skurred but the fam is.
>>
>>744349325
go hit up that comfort inn. ride the storm in comfort
but for real, i dont think it would get that bad. Im sure if its gonna get hit they will control it.
>>
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305
>>
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>>
>>744335039
ESC county checking in
>>
>>744339035
the amount of energy need would be insane though
>>
>>744341174
more?
>>
>>744335039
I'm back out in Arizona now, but I lived in the Tampa/St. Pete/Palm Harbor area for about 5 years and lots of my friends from that area have been posting warnings and suggestions over the past couple days about the hurricane that's likely about to hit the area. It sounds like stores are already running out of bottled water and gas stations are already running out of gas. A couple friends also posted that they had tried to get a flight out of the area, but that every flight was already booked.

To those of you in the area and are knowledgeable about storms like this, what are you anticipating? Do you guys think it's going to hit Florida, or any other area, with serious force and end up being devastating? Or will it likely avoid causing major damage? Also, what's the weather like there now? Any winds or rain yet?
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