hey /b/ rate my thesis statement The governmental bodies that

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>>744187360
you seem like the kind of guy who is way cooler than all his friends

>>744187550
im just writing a paper bud

>>744187360
>>744187550

don't forget how they let corporations lead government , through PACs and through patronage systems

>>744187360
wow, someone's gonna get laid in college

>>744187360
source?

my question is does my thesis statement qualify?

it could be arguably worded as fact but its obviously controversial and debatable

>>744187360
>The governmental bodies that are formed to protect the citizens of the United States now ignore the Constitution to subjugate them for control and profit with no sanctions

sounds good to me for a thesis

>>744187773

>>744187773
>>744187919
found it on /b/, needed clickbait sorry

>>744187831
the fact that there's evidence for your claim makes it qualify

>>744187360
>>744187831
No it can't. Your thesis is shit. It's horribly vague and broad. Get specific you cunt.

>>744187360
>government
>profit

You're a fucking idiot.

>>744187971
my professor is just kind of a bitch about the thesis.

hes saying it has to be a
opinion
controversial
explicit
and critical thinking
>>744188008
the theme to write from was Is justice fair in the United States?, i dont think im that bad

>>744187360
you paid for your degree rather than earned it from merit if you don't get flunked for that bullshit because your argument is so flawed that there is no factual sources to back that up.
good troll though 10/10 got me to sage

>>744188139
>words
>arrows

I'm smart
>>744188173
there arent factual sources to back corruption in the US what?

>>744188008
for real how many government bodies are you accusing, and which articles of the constitution are being ignored. And ya gotta state your overall source before I'll believe any of that shite.

opening sentence at best. a rough one.

>>744188150
look at the whole Shillary ordeal, and the so called indictment, look at OJ Simpson's trial and how attorney's could convince an audience of average people that it was a matter of his race.

the overall paper was going to be about the obvious MKUltra/Cuban War Plan/NSA/CIA violations of the constitution

If you all are the shit, shore up the edges and make it an impenetrable thesis but you guys like critiquing without presenting information

>>744188321
thats asking me to list multiple agencies and state articles of the constitution in a concise sentence

?

>>744187360
Fucking terrible. Badly thought-out, partisan, going to be VERY lacking in rock-solid sources. What bodies? Ignore which bit of the Constitution?
Any thesis that reads like a drunken rant is not going to be great.

>>744188751
No, a thesis doesn't have to be a single sentence.

>>744188805
idk where its going to be partisan and back to
>>744188751
how am i supposed list those agencies and what rights theyre violating in a concise sentence?

rock solid sources would be MKUltra, Veritas Project for the DNC, CIA/Pentagon spending, Cuban war plan
all of that happened without question

>>744188916
my english professor disagrees