ITT: we wish for whatever we want, but the first reply gets to

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"I wish that everyone gets exactly what they deserve"

>>743825494
Except no LOL

>>743825494
all the women are into cuckery

i wish for a loli of my very own

>>743825562
maybe I didn't think this through enough

>>743825554
Turns out everyone deserves death. Every. One.

>>743825494
waste

>>743825629
>you also get your very own FBI chaperone 24/7

I wish everyone who takes their pet on walks and doesn't pick up the shit has their hair fall out and the follicles start oozing shit

>>743825957
which compound the issue of leavign smelly waste around and they dont clean that up either

I wish texas gets flooded

>>743826094
all of middle america underwater

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>>743826181

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I wish that nobody put themselfs before anyone else

>>743826861
all the nobodies of the world put themselves before everyone else and the world hates them even further

I wish I could freeze, slow down, and manipulate time to my will.

>>743826861
This is interpreted literally.

After several months of frantic repositioning, everyone in the world has formed a rough circle, with everyone facing outward. Since they can't turn because that would put someone behind them, civilization collapses and everybody dies.

>>743827246
you attract the attention of higher beings and they abuse your power to blow a load on your face and have an hour pass for them so they do it again and again until your drown in cum and cant timestop anymore

>>743825736
Well, they'll get it eventually.

I wish to be a super saiyan level 99

I wish that whoever replies to this post has their mother die in her sleep tonight.

>>743827486
you're vegeta

>>743827546
nice i can fuck bulma.
checkmate.

>>743827608
You get Roshi's sloppy seconds

>>743827528
yours dies too =) Mine already is.

>>743827528
for every person killed in this way, someone you love dies, until you run our of loved ones, then people you know die

I wish to have infinite wishes

>>743828060
only your unconscious gets to use them (like in the movie Sphere)

>>743828060
you become a geanie and have to grant wishes for all eternity

>>743828060
you lose all desire for anything

I wish I could bend water to my will

>>743828590
you can only bend piss

>>743828590
it only works if you use containers

>>743828590

You only ever want an enema.

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>>743825494

I wish for this wish to have no negative consequences.

>>743829410
it goes off without a hitch, and you dont feel any different

>>743829410
you die how mr hands did

I wish I was dead

>>743829583

You were. Now you're immortal, invulnerable and invincible.

>>743829583
You die of old age.

>>743829713
nice one

>>743829651
aw fuck you man I mean shit I'd like all that but fuck you and the immortal part

I wish for more of these threads

>>743829864
you're never online when they're here

>>743829864
There are, but they're all in the past.

>>743829864
people run out of ideas

I wish for an in tact glass of clean drinking water

>>743829947
Sure, but it's dehydrated. Just add water.

>>743829864

The next one doesn't start until after you're dead.

>>743829947

The glass has no opening.

I wish for OP's on decides threads to deliver every-time regardless of the tasks

i wish everyone was one race

>>743830177

The people are never attractive and they only do the most boring things.

>>743830177

No one ever rolls the requested digits.

>>743830252
niggers

>>743830263
>>743830308
you fuckers are supposed to be backing this

I wish for /pol/ to become politically correct 100% of the time.

I wish for the ability to create material objects, including magical and fictional objects, at will.

>>743825494
to be ruler of the world and to fuck little kids dressed as ballerinas w/o getting arrested

>>743830522
anything goes society

shitting and fucking in the streets with fancy hats on

>>743830588
gotta shove it up your ass first

>>743830588
you dont get to pick where they appear

>>743830593
it's the young goat definition of "kids"

>>743830593
all little kids die

>>743830588
But they're always crafted from cheese and resemble dicks

>>743830588

Each attempt costs you a gonad.

>>743830593

You are incapable of having a libido.

>>743830665
You never said I had to put the entire object in there, so I can just do the tip.

>>743826066
hah

>>743830885
I said shove it up the ass so it has to go up his ass fully

I wish that I could get away with any lie.

>>743831526
you believe anything anyone tells you

>>743828635
Lolz

>>743831526
everytime you get away with a lie, someone you trust gets away with one on you

I wish the goblin king would come and take my brother away right now!

I wish I was the monster you think I am... I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you.

>>743832006
He does, and your existence abruptly ends.

>>743825494
Credit card with unlimited spending limit I don't have to pay back.

>>743832006
the goblin king isnt david bowie

>>743832113
Sure, but then everyone gets the same card.

I wish I had perfect retention and could master anything the first time I learned it.

>>743832149
worst twisting of a wish in history

>>743832186
meaning the shape of your anus

>>743832186
Takes you forever to learn and retain anything the first time.

>>743832186
Every time you learn something new you forget 1 random thing that you have previously learned.

Wish I knew what to do with my life.

>>743832532
But you find the love of your life and give up everything to be with him/her

>>743832388
Kek that isn't true
Source?

I wish that once a day, I could influence anyone just by touch.

>>743832914
you can only influence them to yell "im being molested"

>>743832074
I'm not even going to fix this wish.
Bad day?

I wish to waste this wish.

>>743833086
your wish killed all the niggers

>>743825494
I wish that everyone regardless of skin color would immediately return to where they came from the last thousand years, and those without a place to call their own a 1000 years ago would disappear.

>niggers back to africa
>mudslimes back to the middle east
>white ameritards back to europe
>gypsies gone
>jews gone

>>743833274
Instead, you get a Coke

>>743833274
That however, ends up messing history up with unpredictable results.
I want pyrokinesis

wish we could turn back time, to the good old days

>>743833368
found the jew/gypsy

I wish that the entire male population of the world would instantly turn into 10/10 qt sissy sluts.

>>743833454
theyre all strait

>>743833454
You become homophobic.

I wish that I would be in a perfect romantic relationship with the woman of my desires that would last for the rest of our long, happy, and healthy lives.

>>743833419
you get pyrokinesis, but you also pyrophobia at the same time

>>743833582
everyone you encounter instantly hates her

>>743831526

You could, but you don't.

>>743833582
She's rich

>>743833582
you become tetraplegic

>>743833274

Except no one existing today came from anywhere 1000 years ago, and everyone ceases to exist.

>>743825494
i wish i had an infinite supply of hippo butts to eat that would never be raw or undercooked or rotten or infested

I wish this thread would stay alive for another hour or so

>>743833582

It exists in your head.

>>743833449
keep going back in time benjamin button style

>>743833884
they are a little dry, and you run out of salt after eating the first one

>>743833853
>dat ameritard damage control

I wish I could see whatever I wanted in the future.

>>743833884

They infinitely fill up the universe causing complete existential failure.

>>743833899
Turns into a trap penis rating thread for the last hour.

>>743834062

Sometime in the future you get your wish. It's when you're about to die.

I wish I could get anyone to come over for a booty call with just one text.

>>743834224
its your mom

>>743834224

They arrive looking for someone else.

World peace that would then give me American super hero Zak Morris' time out power

This needs attention https://www.change.org/p/lyricalz-spinmeright-needs-to-race-change-back-to-pandaren

I wish I only needed half the amount of sleep that a normal person does and would always feel rested after ~4 hours of sleep

>>743834362
Mr. Belding has it too and uses it to rape your little surfer dude butt while you're frozen in time.

>>743825494

I wish for irrevocable omnipotence. From this point forward i deny all wishes.

>>743834485
turns out you're just looney in a bin w/ a nice straight jacket and a nurse that flirts with you a little too much but you have no way to please her since your impotent

>>743825494
granted, but they become so obsessed with you that they become deranged serial killers and want to wear your skin like a tuxedo.

>>743834576
(this guy should have wished for a brain)

>>743825957
Then they turn into man-eating shit monsters

>>743826181
granted, but then they invade and take over other parts of america and drive you right into the "middle america" sea.

I wish I could finish all these games I own

>>743834485

You're given your own universe to play God in. It's an empty void. You die instantly.

>>743834399
You wake up craving dick each time and your mouth is coated in cum every morning

>>743827486
Then you die a virgin because all your sex partners explode into a bloody mist from you being a level 99 super saiyan.

>>743834841

You can only finish the ones you currently own.

I wish for a cakelogical singularity.

>>743830588
Then you have to shit it out of your ass to make it real.

could you imagine somebody trying to shit out a ferrari? lol

>>743834975
does this include remakes and ports to other consoles/pc?

>>743834062
Granted, but it can be activated by staring right into Caitlin jenner's mutilated mangina for the same amount of time.

I wish I could restart my life as myself, with all of my current knowledge.

>>743835302
you start out as the opposite gender.

I wish I was healthy

>>743835090

Only.

The ones.

You currently own.

And no others.

For the rest of time.

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>>743826181
I like the way you think

>>743835302

You don't learn from your mistakes.

Welcome to hell.

>>743835460

You were. Now you're not.

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>>743828518
nothing new

>>743835302

You're forced to live everything up to the point you made the wish exactly as it played out the first time.

I wish I had 6 testicles and a 2ft penis

>>743835781

They're in your mouth.

>>743835781
You remain forever alone because you're still ugly and have a shit personality

>>743835977
There's freaks out there that would want to see that, so I don't think I'll be forever alone :)

i wish my friends didnt make fun of me

>>743836185
They don't make fun of you anymore but your skin turns into molten salt and you aquire regenerative powers so you spend the rest of eternity roasting to death inside your own skin. Also your dick implodes.

>>743836185
everyone who isn't your friend bullies you on a constant basis and talks shit about you

>>743836345
...shouldn't it have to relate to my wish in some monkey paw way?

like >>743836353

>>743836185
Even without them making fun of you, the things they would say resound in your head and you start to naturally make fun of yourself

I wish for the earth to be impacted by 100 supwrmassive neutron stars all traveling at 99.9 percent the speed of light and each on their own equally spaced trajectories with earth at the intesecting point

>>743825494
I wish I could leave /b/ and never return

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I wish I could stop trap cards like this guy

>>743836437
Modify your wish however we want. Enjoy your roasting faggot.

>>743836585
Everyone you know starts regularly visiting /b/ and talk about it to you all the time in very cancerous ways

>>743836637
You become a trap and are fucked by aids gorillas.

Wish I could fuck women and never get STDs

i wish this wish couldn't be corrupted or changed in anyway

>>743836185

You have no friends.

>>743836836
Granted but you become gay and craving catching the aids

>>743836836
All the women you fuck are men. Thank the liberals.

>>743836854

It comes true. You remain pathetic.

I wish /b/ was ever good.

>>743836854
Enjoy your one and only wish, uncorrupted. So you get nothing, you lose, good day sir.

>>743837057
not gonna lie im a little relieved

>>743836854
You never wished it to begin with

>>743836836

Women become men when they make physical contact with you.

>>743837072
The genie looked upon /b/ and it was good. But you can only view it when niggers are fucking your anus.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner

>>743837161
>>743836963
These don't corrupt the wish they defy it. It's not fucking women if it's fucking men you retards.

>>743836585
When you leave it's from a massive deadly stroke

>>743837181
You become the dried husk of Bruce jenners cock discarded in some abandoned landfill.

>>743837181

All Grey Poupon ceases to exist and no one remembers the recipe.

>>743837181
You're expired and thrown away

>>743837264
Liberals disagree.

I wish Schrodingers Cat was dead.

>>743837264

He said he wishes he could fuck women and never get STDs. So he will never fuck women and get STDs.

It's entirely sound.

>>743837401
It is simultaneously alive

>>743837401
Schrodingers cat is actually a cactus and it's inside your asshole and also your cock. But also both.

I wish 9/11 wasn't an inside job

i wish i hav a nintendie swish

>>743837524
Yu hav swish but yu also hav the paralyze.

>>743836836
You become highly susceptible to normally transmitted diseases like MRSA and tuberculosis

>>743837419
It doesn't corrupt the wish if it just makes it completely untrue. The idea is that the wish remains intact but has a flaw making it undesirable. If I fuck men I'm not fucking women. God I hate this place

>>743837519
9/11 isn't an inside job but you need to let George Bush finish his job inside you

>>743837670

Then make a wish and get lost.

>>743837524

it has no gaemz

I wish I was quicker to see the sni-

>>743837519
George W Bush responds correctly and is hailed as the greatest ruler in history

I wish I owned every orange in the world.

>>743837804

You were. You got shot anyway.

I wish whenever I said candlejack nothing would h

>>743837798
Is it really a twist if it's already true?

>>743837670
OP said modify the wish however we want not this monkey paw corruption clause bullshit. Eat cock and die

>>743837860

You do. However no one knows and nothing changes.

i wish for a luggage bag with an unmarked clean half a million dollars in it

I wish for you to reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep tonight. No immunities or counter wishes can save you.

I wish she would love me again.

>>743837968
You get all the money, but it's in the form of pesos.

>>743837752
I wish you had to live forever continuing to be a neckbeard faggot virgin without anyone to love you

>>743837860
Millions of Orange lovers across the world flock to your location to obtain oranges and trample you to get to your orange vault leaving nothing but a high vitamin C paste where you once stood

>>743837968
You get mugged by Tyrone

>>743838022
instead moves on and does something notable

>>743838042
FUCKING DEAL

>>743837860
You die of scurvy

>>743838022
>again
implying she ever loved you in the first place

>>743837968

The luggage is completely opaque and any attempt to expose the contents destroys them.

>>743838022
She realises how much she loves you during your funeral

>>743838050

The opposite happens.

>>743833270
Score

I wish for every living thing in the entire universe to explode eith the force of a supernova

>>743838265
Everything comes back undead.

>>743838163
l8

>>743838241
Again that does not work for this thread. Delet this

>>743838265

The spelling error makes the wish completely ungrantable.

>>743838330
and its cocol cause since it happened already nobody has to worry about this fag blowing up the universe

>>743838400
Your mother is ungrantable

>>743838372

Sounds like you should have wished for your jimmies to be unrustled.

>>743838494
dubs confirm, mother = ungrantable

>>743838494
lol! haha you roasted him!

>>743838544
CONFIRMED

I wish for wishes to not exist. Even the abstract concept of wanting something only to have it suddenly given to you doesn't exist. The entire premise of wish making is erased from the universe

I wish for Trump to officially recognize Antifa as a terrorist organization.

>>743838669
Wishes still exist but you no longer exist.

>>743838722
Dubs, wish granted. Seriously though this needs to happen and I will dance naked the day it does

>>743838669
wishes only dont exist for you, unbeknownst to you everyone else has magic genies in a bottle

>>743825494
I wish every women has a cock, a very very femenine cawk

>>743838825
And unbeknownst to them the bottle is in their prostate.

I wish that everyone had the power to swap genders at a moments notice.

>>743839718
Every time you swap someone's gender, all of your cells gain an extra chromosome.