Today I fucked up. I just got back home from fucking a hooker.

u dun goofed

get that aids drug you take the day after its not expensive plus thats the only real bad thing you could have gotten

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what you have to do is get a syringe (a turkey baster will do) and shoot about 6 oz. of alcohol up your penis.

that's what they'd do at the hospital.

you have to hurry, though.

do it today

>>743699533
>Today I fucked up.
>>>/reddit/

>>743699533
Uhh, did you try asking her if she had anything?

you don't have much left, have fun for the remaining time.

>>743699533
>Any suggestions?

lop off your penis as quickly as possible before the infection spreads.

>>743699794
Doctor here.
This works, also works for nasal and inner ear infections.

>>743699533
You're less likely to catch a std from a hooker than from a one night stand if that's what you're wondering

>>743699533

Only thing you have to reasonably worry about is Herpes, and thats only if she was in an infectious stage.

AIDS is very hard to get through normal sex unless either party has an open wound on their junk. Everything else is curable for the most part. Relax and go get a test before fucking someone else so you don't spread anything. If you caught chlamydia or gonorrhea you'll likely know pretty quick because it will burn to pee. Relax fam.

>>743699848
I did ask her "you clean?" (she didn't speak good english, she was eastern european or something) and she said yes, but who the fuck trusts a hooker? Chances are she doesn't even know what the fuck she has, and even if she knew, she would not say "no" by fear of losing a client

>>743699533
Get checked

>>743699794
>>743700004
I do have a syringe for cleaning out ears in my flat, and I have a bottle of 90% alcohol. Should I do it? I don't want to burn off my dick

>>743699794
nurse here can confirm

>>743699533
Use an std test kit. Also relax, it'll be fine.

>>743700257
Definitely do it. It's the only way to make sure. Kill that infection before it travels all the way up the urethra

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>>743699951
that's the only chance you have OP

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>>743700004
Thank you, Doctor.

The other cure is to stick your dick into a hot chicken -225 degrees- for about ten minutes to kill off any of the infectious organisms that are by now infecting the blood of his dick.

>>743699533
>>743700257
get the post-HIV exposure drug. Just pray she doesn't have shit like herpes, Just about everything else is curable.
You either wait out the dormant period and get a symptom and treat it or get a full std test in a month or 2.
STDs usually have an incubation stage so getting tested right now will be a waste of time.

sounds like a pretty shitty experience, i'm planning on going to a hooker in a few days, i'll bring my own condoms

>>743699763
Id rather die from AIDS than have herpes the rest of my life. Also hepatitis is a real bitch. Dying from liver failure is one of the worst ways to go

>>743700289
>nurse here can confirm

Been acting as a nurses aide for 3 years now. I can also recommend the syringe / alcohol method. Easy to accomplish, this usually falls to me whenever the need arises in the office.

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>>743700257

>>743699794
Do this, or also you dip the penes in a glass of rubbing alcohol and reverse pee. It's cleans you out to the kidneys.

>>743700550
I've been barebacking hookers for years. They always syringe my dick.

>>743700550
not a nurse or a doctor but i do this all the time after i fuck my dad and im still clean

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>>743700289
>>743700435
thank you, Nurse. I appreciate your confirmation.

As a genital professional, I have to ask OP if her vagina resembled any of these.
Study them closely and pick out the one that most nearly approximates the hooker's gooch.

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>>743700679
>reverse pee

Literally wot?

>>743699533
It is not so bad. You have more chances of catching STDs from a girl you pick in a bar because normal people tend to leave their guard down.

Go and take the anti HIV drug others mentioned ITT. Aside from HIV, HPV and HIV everything is curable. HPV goes away on its own in a few months/years and herpes isn't really that big of a deal.

>>743700784
Meant for >>743700676

>>743699836
how would you know that faggot

>Tfw prostitution is legal in Germany and I just want to get my dick sucked but have gf
Reeeeee

>>743700737
>filename
kek

>>743699794
im a Registered Respiratory Therapist here, just today we had someone come in the office for our hospitalist and it was due to an STD related issue, i stepped out of the room but afterwards the doctor told me what he did, it needs to be ATLEAST 6 oz! its very common to not inject it deep enough which will not help anything. the ENTIRE infection must be killed so dont take a half measure here man dont fuck around

>>743699533
AIDS Bro

>>743700880
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT HE SHOULDN'T KNOW THAT, FAGGOT?

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>>743700676
Reverse pee

>>743699794
That really is the best option at this point.

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>>743700676
>reverse pee

>>743699794
im a taxi driver and i can confirm this works

>>743699533
Hey op i have a lot of experience with hookers...strugling sex addict
ive banged probably 100ish hookers
som willingingly bare, some i just took the condom off without telling them and had chlamydia and gonorhea multiple times and got oral herpeson my cock from a crappy 5 min bj that didnt even make me nut
from my experience pros that dont offer bare and only use condoms for the most part are clean.
girls that offer it up bare or dont freak out about the condom breaking or coming off are the ones to worry about.
that being said the chances of you contracting hep or hiv are low.
chances of sti like gonorhea chlamydia or trich contraction are greatly diminished if you had a good healthy piss right after you finished. that being said its just a does of anti biotics and youre good
herpes is up in the air
best bet is to take a couple weeks off from sex and see what happens... look for discharge or tender nuts, swollen glands on the sides of your pubic hair. and get tested to be sure.
but seriously im doing all i can to stay away from hookers and i suggest you do the same

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>>743700902
>>>743700737 (You)
>>filename
>kek

another preventive medical treatment is to use live gerbils up your ass and they attack the disease from the inside.

this is known as the Richard Gere method

Go check it with a doctor asap

>>743700934
this doesn't negate the fact that you're from reddit
or that you're a bona fide faggot

I doubt she secreted her vaginal fluid onto your dick. But you might have the faggots blood in your veins now so only thing you can do is get checked

>>743700257
Original MD here,
The alcohol will cause discomfort and maybe some pain depending on a number of factors regarding your cardiovascular health however you will not "burn your dick off."
We use a severely diluted solution with less alcohol however you wouldn't have access to it without a medical supplier.
I wouldn't suggest using 90% volume for an ear infection, but you're fine using it for nasal or otherwise.
It will work for most infections depending on the amount of time that has passed.

>>743701153
gotta give it a little bit. getting tested the day after exposure wont show shit.

>>743700257
I would confirm on google before doing that, it sounds like it would fuck up your dick. If infected it likely already spread.

>>743701158
THIS DOESN'T NEGATE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE FROM REDDIT TO KNOW THAT I'M A BONA FIDE FAGGOT

>and I'm not even that faggot that you were replying to in the first place

>>743701259
biggest load of 3rd world horse shit ive ever heard. all you niggers trying to get this guy to fuck up his cock. so some damn compassion you pieces of shit

>>743699794
friends with a guy whose neighbours dad is a doctor, can confirm.

>>743701524
This is the compassion of /b/

>>743701462
this fag

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>>743699533
>It took me a good 5 seconds to realise there were some weird plastic noises going on. In a sudden panic, I quickly pulled out and there it was, the condom had broken! There was only the base around my dick and a big chunk of yellowish plastic flapping about from it.
>She wiped my dick with some wet towels, then she finished me with a handjob, and I went straight home.

Wash it with betadine. Inside and out. ASAP.

I knew a doctor who barebacked hookers for years and always did this. Claimed to have never gotten an STI.

Pick related.

>>743700097

This. Even if you get herpes you'll probably have like 3 breakouts and never have another one again in your entire life.

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>>743701259
>>743700004
>>743700289
>>743700361
>>743700550
>>743700676
>>743700679
>>743700704
>>743700737
>>743700915
>>743701072

OP here, given we have so many healthcare professionals (and taxi drivers) in this thread, is there a name for this procedure so that I can look it up? My health and my dick are at stake here! I don't want to turn a shitty day into an even shittier hospital-emergency day

>>743699836
Uhm, are you mentally disabled?

Youre as bad as the stupid millenial fags not knowing what newfag means but still using it unironically. Pull the trigger, please.

>>743699794
im a hooker and i can confirm this works

>>743699794
i'm a retired white knight, and i can confirm it works
godspeed OP

>>743701524
So if I told you that the way I was trained to treat a disemboweled car accident victim, was to tape them shut. Tape them. You would probably say the same thing.
I studied at one of the best schools in North America.

>>743701462
>>743701624
stop fighting broskis

>>743699533

go to the doctor and get some antivirals asap (like right now). this could possibly protect you from HIV

>>743702029
alright dr strange love i'll learn to stop

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>>743701753
I'm a mechanic and I sometimes play recreational water polo at the weekends and I can confirm that the procedure dose in fact work.
I forget the medical term for it though.

>>743700257
don't fucking do this OP you idiot

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>>743701108
>>743701641
>>743700477
>>743700339
thanks, that makes me feel a bit better. I'm still freaking out a little. It was only my third time with a hooker and I hadn't gone to see one in years
I might try the betadine thing. Worst case, I just end up with a sparking clean dick!

>>743701753
Window Washer here
the correct name for this is the Nigger

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>>743702233
Don't listen to this guy, he's the devil.

JESUS says use the turkey baster with the alcohol.

He should know, he's the Son of God.

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I have a funny hooker story that happened to me recently, anyone want to hear? Pic related is her

>>743701876
Temporary triage care methods aside. I dont think your doctor i think your lying dipshit. you want me to believe you squirt alcohol up dudes junk for std's then link me to a fucking medical site supporting that claim. otherwise eat a bag of dicks

>>743702319
>the correct name for this is the Nigger
sounds legit. A Nigger Manoeuvre coming up!

>>743699794
I can spell doctor, can confirm as well

>>743702391
go ahead

>>743702391
Don't ask, just fucking mash some green text faggot!

>>743702233
Dont listen to this guy hes clearly lying to you

I hope this guy doesn't shoot alcohol up his penis, I did a Google search for this and found nothing legitimate.

>>743702532
Listen to this guy, he seems very honest.

>>743702292
You're going to listen to the guy who has admitted to banging countless hookers, the guy who makes up miracle drugs out of thin air, and the guy who thinks STD test kits are anything more than highway robbery for dolts?
No, you have 12 hours from the point of potential exposure (at best) until you're effectively shooting alcohol up your dick for fun.
Turkey baster would be less painful than the one you have, as you could create a seal around the tip as opposed to inserting something.
I suggest you do this asap. I'll remain in the thread in case you have any questions following the procedure.
This procedure has no specific name, it falls into a broader range of treatments.
The only one with its own name is an Enema which specifies the rectum.

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>>743702555
>I did a Google search for this and found nothing legitimate.
You did it wrong. It's all there

He better do it soon before his penis is fried.

>>743699794
I have a doctorate in literature, so I too am a doctor and can confirm

>>743702555
The medical profession isn't Graphic Design, you can't figure it all out in 15 minutes of YouTube and Google.
I bet you couldn't find results on google for 80% of what I know.

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>>743702615
Son't listen to this guy, he's trying to deceive you.

And then you'll die because it's too late and you'll have to bag your penis

>>743702555
This guy is a huge lying faggot.
You can tell because of the recurring 5's.
Mods always reserve 555's for the biggest faggots. It's sort of like a game they play.

>>743699533
Same thing happened to me but not with a hooker.
>be me
>be 21
>make the move on 40yo milf
>got bj
>banging doggy
>Dry old coochie
>all of sudden
>feelsreallygoodnow.bmp
>OMG condom broke!
>be me now 37 and that's the story of how I contacted HPV (better than HIV nigger)
SMH

>>743702994
Same MDfag here.
HPV clears from the body in 90% of all cases within 3 years.
The other 10% can be cured with simple antibiotics.
Get it taken care of before it causes Cancer.

>>743699794
I work for the cable company, and can confirm that this works.

Drink a bunch of water and then piss. Pissing after sex helps fight off uti's.

>>743702994
fuuuuuuuuuuck

>>743701753
i'm professional windshield washer and confirm this is only way to make good dick. here in russia we do inject alcohol several times day. 100% save to kill virus!

>>743699794
I'm an astronaut and can confirm. Space pussy will FUCK you up bro.

>>743699533
Just wash your dick with anti bacterial soap, if you are really that afraid go to a genital doctor to make some tests. Most likely all her costumers use condoms so actually its more likely to get an infection for the blow job rather than from her pussy.

>>743703096
Human Papilloma Virus
>antibiotics
>for a fucking virus

>>743699533
>Wtf do I do?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>743703096
Nigger there is no cure, they have a (((vaccine))) to prevent spread if you don't have it already, and treatment for any symptoms that come about from having the virus. Go inject alcohol into your dick, (90%) works best from what I hear.

>>743703271
>Being this retarded

>>743703193
>Anti-bacterial
>Viruses
Fucking idiot

>>743699533
>one of her condoms
idiot

>>743699794
I once seat in a seat a doctor seat once and i can confirm.

>>743701753
inject some alc into your balls too just to be sure

btw i'm a biologicol engineer with a ptsd in viral infections

>>743703463
He prolly ate that shit too...

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>>743699533
immediately chop off cock to stem the infection

>>743703463
>>743700490
most hookers don't ask questions and put a condom on your dick before or after the bj

and they won't let you use your own condom by fear of you having messed around with it by poking small holes in it or some shit

>>743699794
my uncles neighbor bumped into a nuclear scientist at the trainstation once

can confirm this method

Says right here, injecting an alcohol based solution is an accepted procedure
>tp://emedicine.medscape.com/article/438890-treatment

>>743703393
That's the best he can do at home you dumb fuck.

>>743699794
Very lonely farmer here, and I also can confirm this works 100%. Just use Jack Daniel's if you don't have any proper alcohol around.

>>743699533
gross. go to church. wash with holy water.

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>>743704106
>go to church. wash with holy water.

don't forget to turn on the lights

and JESUS!

It depends how much you paid for the hooker. How much did you pay?

Ahh yes 4 chan, where people fuck hookers and then get drunk thorugh their dick to forget the probable std.

If you're doing the procedure OP be very careful, do NOT piece the penis, if possible drag the needle on a rough surface so it doesn't have an edge anymore, then fill it with alcohol (this also desinfects it) and then CAREFULLY place inside of urethra and do the thing slowly and carefully. There are kits fror doing this, but they're not that common.

>>743699794
McDonald's employee. Can confirm this method.

>>743704534
You can also use a enema bag with urethra adapter.

I used to get high using that but the thing is manufactured for that specific us..

>>743699794
this is definitely what you should do. im not a doctor... but I did stay at a holiday Inn express last night...

WHERE DA HOES AT

>>743699794
i'm a manager at wendys and i can confirm this works

>>743699794
I am a horny televangelist and I approve this method. Amen.

>>743699794
gay porn actor here
i do this every day and it works

>>743699794
As a taxi driver and pimp I recommend this method totally.

Only rubbing alcohol tho, I ain't doing it twice if the first one didn't to the trick.

You need penicillin shots you retard

>>743699794

im an alcohol, can confirm this works

>>743699794
i do this all the time after i masturbated just in case i catched a std
i'm still clean so i guess it works

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>>743699794

I'm a dog and I don't know what I'm doing here but I can confirm this work on my owner

>>743704821

my only advice is don't use an eye dropper in there or you'll need a crane to get it out

>>743699794
I do it too after my dad fucks me, just in case he's got something.
Taxy driver here BTW.

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>>743705334
>I'm a dog and I don't know what I'm doing here but I can confirm this work on my owner

>>743699794
i have autism and you should do this

>>743699794
I am a herpy, can confirm, this works

>>743699794
voodoo priest here
first you clean it with alcohol, then you glue your urethra to prevent a future infection. and don't forget to sacrifice a chicken afterwards!

>>743699794
Janitor in a building that used to have a doctor's office next door.
Can confirm this works

>>743699794
I'm a penis, can confirm this works

WHERE THA MF HOES AT

>>743699794
I am an STD, can confirm it works

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>>743705834
>>743704921

>>743699794
i steal sinks at mcdonalds and sell them on ebay

can cofirm this works

>>743699794
i do this everytime i fucked my husband in the ass

nohomo

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>>743706203

you are doomed

>>743700499
they can cure that now

>>743699794
i'm the townrapist and can confirm this works

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>>743702206

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>>743700940
E?

>>743699794
professional urethra cleaner here

this is basically my job to do it on other people

Congrats. You have dick cancer.

i also hear having your dad suck it can cure most STDs

>>743699794
i work at a morgue and i do this everyday to my patients
works 100% of the time

>>743699533
lol

>"muh condoms will protect me from any eventuality, unless they break"

you would of gotten aids anyway, now its confirmed hoe fag

i work at ISIS and we do it with infidels before they get raped to prevent a infection. works with goats and donkeys too

>>743699533
Get tested. the relief you feel after they say everything was negative is awesome

Also, do you have any pics of hookers you have personally taken? if so, please share

>>743700499
Slow painful death wasting away to nothing, or a few irritating blisters every few years or so... Yeah, much better to die of AIDS.

>>743699794
I do ride my bike on the weekends and like my toast slightly burnt. Can confirm it works

I SAID WHERE DA MF HOES ATTT

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>>743704921
>>743707669
>>743705834
my nigga I got you

>>743699794
i just masturbated and my dick is still leaking cum
this is your only chance

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>>743707887
can i get a allahu akbar

>>743708244
praise judas

>>743707887
kek delivered

>>743708291
amen

>>743699794
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-sZyfFX4F0
I can confirm.

>>743700289
steven hawking here can confirm

>>743699533
Think the walking dead and hershel.

>>743701108
What consequences does the oral herpes have?

My GF quite often has oral herpes. I don't get BJs during that time. Just wondering if I should get no BJs at all.

>>743701259
>fine using it for nasal
Gotta snort that 90% shit

>>743699533
Contact me for nudes (905) 715-4139

>>743709063
Ur good, you can only get herpes during outbreaks

I love this copypasta

>>743699533
OK, so honestly, your main worry would be the herp. Chlamydia is also quite contagius, but easily cleared up.

AIDS is pretty much off the table, you would be a medical miracle to get it from that, especially when she jerked you off and cleaned out your pipes.

Wiping off and cleaning is certainly a good idea, but dont overdo it you jackass.

If you are worried, go to a doctor and get checked for herpes and chlamydia. And AIDS after 6 months, if you feel like it.

>>743709478
Not all "outbreaks" are visible

>>743709063
as long as you don't perform oral during an outbreak of the sores, you'll be fine.

any cut or damage to lips should also cause you to avoid oral as a lot of the time this causes an outbreak which you might not notice until too late.
You should also wait a couple of days after the sores disappear completely.

Basically use common sense. No sores/tingly feeling, you're all good.

>>743699533

>Wtf do I do? Is there a way to reduce the risk of infection?

>I tried washing it with soap and water, then wanted to try something stronger, so I put some 90% alcohol I had lying around (it stings btw), and now I'm writing this shit.


1. Don't fuck hookers, son.

2. Congratulations, you just improved the resistance of whatever infection you got.

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So the question is, do I go to a massage parlor tomorrow or not? Only been to one place a few times and it's been great for the most part. Last girl was stuck up and thought I was a cop or something (brought lady boss in talking Chinese, lady boss lifts dress and tells me to touch her pussy, then sexytimes occur with the bitch).

Just on the fence because of that last girl and I want a connection.

nothing wrong with getting a little slippery sausage my dude

>>743708244
allah akbar

>>743699794
Team mascot here. I do it for the jocks all the time.

Can confirm.

im a scarecrow and can confirm this works

>>743711426
>>743699794

>>743700004
>doctor here
Convincing

>>743701753
I'm a Neil Tyson Degrasse, can confirm this works.
Read this in my voice for assurance.

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>>743711755
you're a smart guy, must've went to harvard.

>>743700097
Condom won't help with herpes anyways. If she made you wrap it up she probably makes everyone. Basically if fucking is her job it is in her best interest to keep it clean.

>>743699533
You've done all you can. Chances are you'll be fine. Don't worry about it.