>>743456895 I ones send an important email to my boss that have about 1.2GB of files ( docs pdfs and shit) from my ecchi collecting by mistake , next day i got fired. My family and friends don't know anything about it.
>>743456895 I'm the SysOp for this simulation you call life or reality. Trump was my amusing gambit. I program in a huge part of the social-economic-political subroutines. I won the pool, won $500 and we in our office are laughing like hell for months now. Dickhead Jerry is in environmental-bilogical and he's pushing for an Ebola empidemic. My rival in my division, Vince, wants to push for WIII launching from my fun thing. I'm currently pushing for just some more division and creaming and hollering, but dudes in my office want to go full retard. I don't want the simulation to fall apart. I like this one.
>>743457728 Fml grammar dog shit my hands are still shaking , the email was from my porn email , thanks to gmail , theres something something about files sharing , but i mistaken an (a) to an (x) because the two are similar , so all of my google drive was shared with my boss Didn't know until i check my pc in the main hall
>>743457827 Lying isn't my me , I'm in a contract , so i have no right to say no or yes , it was fast abd simple , one of my coworkers said the pc might be hacked or some shit i said it was that famous wannacry , but the boss didn't even shake a hair in his ass , tbh i didn't need that job , i got one better , as an IT in other company that my father work in....
When I was in my 20s I dealt meth. I had a customer that could never afford her shit and I was tired of fucking her. After I turned her down one night and told her to gtfo she starts a breakdown. Crying screaming pleading saying crazy shit. Before I get her out the door she offers me her daughter for sex. How old I ask. 9. I tell her 100$ worth of shit if i get to fuck her pussy 50$ for oral. She wants the hundred. She goes to her car and gets her daughter. She tells her I'm gonna do stuff to her and it's ok and she has to do it for mommy. She held her daughters hand and cried with her as I fucked her as hard and fast as I could. When I came I pushed my dick as far into her as I could. My sheets were a bloody mess but i wasn't mad about it. I gave her 150$ worth of shit and told her to come back anytime for that deal. She came back atleast two dozen times before she stopped coming at all. She got a lot of meth from my pocket but I feel I got the better deal. I would have given her more if she asked but she never did.
I worked at an email spam company as a linux server admin. Job was total shit. 3 of us 5 techs walked off the job 3 mo in. No one wrote down anything (probably for to hide evidence), so I didn't know what we had going on half the time. Shit was a clusterfuck.
I started posting some of our public IPs we were leasing around the work, and asking publicly on the Linux forums about how to do things we were doing in house. I had a sneaking suspicion I was being spied on by the company. Needless to say, 2 mo later, they found it and called a meeting. They had the lawyer of the parent company that bought them on the phone, Adconion Direct, and were asking me retarded shit about what I was doing. I just said I was learning to reverse engineer stuff (totally legal since the BIOS lawsuit in the 80s), and pretended to play stupid. They fired me on the spot after they asked, "Do you think this is appropriate?' and I just shrugged and they got all pissy.
Don't ever go to work for an "email marketing" company. They're just shitty spammers.
Oh yeah, someone ratted on the two Mormon owners to spamhaus. I found out all their information, address, and saw pics of the homes they bought after they got $40mil for their company from Adconion. The company went belly-up a few months after I was fired. Pwnt.
When I was 16 I dated a 13 year old girl. She was wild and crazy and would let me do whatever I wanted. It was great at first, but she turned out to be weirder than I ever would have thought. After only a month together she told me about how her and her sister used to have sex with her dad and uncle until her mom divorced her dad. But she told me about it while she was in the middle of sucking my dick. She then started to talk about her sister and the things they still do together. I think she's lying so I tell her that's hot but there's no way it's true right? She insisted it was true and then called her sister I tried to cover my dick but she kept on sucking it and I'm not made of stone. Her sister runs in the room looks at my dick smiles and laughs. She says I know what you guys are doing. My gf tells her little sister to show me her hoo ha. And the her sister lifts up her dress and pulls down her panties. I'm staring at her little sisters bald pussy while my gf sucks my dick. I'm not sure what to think but she's still doing a good job on my cock. My gf waves her sister over and then my gf sticks a finger into her little sister who giggled and closes her eyes when it happened. She then put that finger in my mouth. That was it I was gonna cum. I shot my cum into my gfs mouth and she swallowed it. She took some of my cum that dropped on her chin and put it on her finger. The same finger she stuck in her little sister. Then she put the finger in her sisters mouth and her little sis opened right up for it. She said it didn't taste as bad as dads or uncle anons. I was completely shocked but it was nothing to them. From that point on she included her little sister in most of our sex as long as mom wasn't home or was asleep. But it wasn't all heaven she had crazy mood swings and would hit me in the balls sometimes when she was mad. She also legitimately tried to stab me with a fork more than once and threw a brick at me once. But she was the craziest thing in bed to.
>>743459813 Hey, whenever your world runs smoothly, we just about die of boredom. First one was a perfect world, a complete snoozer. A few of us decided to throw some shit in and perfect world sims (your predecessors) couldn't handle it. Sim ended in days. Be happy we are fucking with this one from hour one. Be happy about how many times your world didn't end because we overall like this sim. I mean, the dinosaur thing to accelerate the evolution was a mistake. You sims are not descended from Raptors. You are primates. Primate is a word you monkeys made up in your hubris, like apes are some kind of prime species. Well, at least it's fun. Be happy Bosco is losing the fight to involve our kind in your version of reality more. He is really pushing our kind dominating your world in some kind of nutty "reptilian conspiracy." He even added shape shifting to your world's version of us. What a 'tard.
when i masturbate i spend about 1.5 hours without stoping for climax, yes i last alot but it's kind of annoying sometimes i cum and i cant take my dick down even after alot of time masturbating, i go for second round but honestly my bicep is on fire like at mid second round which i hate, i love this shit
My buddy's ex is a hot big titted stuck up milf. I have explicit pics and videos of the bitch. She would be beyond humiliated if she knew that strangers know in detail what those big tits and cunt look like. Not to mention what she looks like with a cock in her mouth and cunt. Email if you're interested at barrydawson363 at gmail
>>743462248 I can't. I don't play vidya. It gives me a headache. The only game I finished was Bioshock and it was very painful. He had 2 tablets. Smashed both of them. He has a 2DS and he tried to pry it open out of anger. Sometimes, I want to pour water on his PS3 because I can't stand him.
>>743462467 >>743462468 He starts kindergarten today, thank goodness. He beats the shit out of our dog. My husband just tells him to stop over and over and over. He doesn't do anything about it. He loves him so much that he's scared of hurting him. He thinks that if he disciplines his kids, they'll love their lunatic mom more than him.
Thanks guys. We're in New Zealand. She's Irish and I'm American. She's here on a Work Visa and works as a bartender. I'm a resident. She makes shitty money bartending, so I'm gonna go for that. She's already broke enough as it is. Plus she's 2 months along and she's been drinking the whole time, so fetal alcohol syndrome.
>>743462722 Damn. Normally I'd say go for it, have the baby. That little bump in her stomach would be sitting on your lap in three years time giving you hugs and thinking you are the coolest dude ever.
Yeah the foetal alcohol concern is valid. But that shit was only found out recently. Doesnt everyone over 30 have it to some extent? I say go through with it man. Having a kid of your own is beautiful.
>>743462739 >>743462770 Dog's not mine. His ex bought it. Took it with her when she moved out. Gave it to him because she couldn't take care of the poor dog. Took it back out of spite and gave it back again for the last time. He's supposed to be for the boy.
When I was 15-16yo I had sex with 5 girls who were 10-13yo, took the v of 2 of them. we didnt always use a condom, maybe did 1/3 of the time. just gave oral sex to a few others. all was 100% consensual.
Met a man for sex except he wanted his dog to fuck me while he filmed it. Let him do it. Hurt like fuck. Dog got knotted in me so stuck for 20 minutes. Gave man a blow job while his dog was stuck in me. When dog pulled out man then fucked me. Went home - threw up.
> be 13 > discovering amazing new things my body can do > family goes out to the mall, leave me alone at home for couple hours > strip off and fap around the house > go to parents room > they have big mirror, I stand on their bed and mirin my pencil dick and first signs of hair and muscles > turn around bend over, look through my legs to see if I can make out the hair on my asscrack > without warning mum walks in with laundry > 'zomg anon wtf I don't even!!!' > I crash to the ground and she nopes the fuck out of there > run to my room and stay there for the next three hours wanting to die > later that arvo knock on the door, its dad > father son talk time > tells me can understand what I did and I must be feeling cringe > says doing that shit is OK but keep it to my bedroom only > now come out for dinner champ > eat meatloaf, my favourite, says nothing and can't look my mum in the face > 10 years later still die from embarrassment every time I remember this
>>743463300 I blew up yesterday. We're married. This is my first marriage. This is his third. Both exes cheated on him. Like I said, I love him dearly because he's an amazing husband to me. I try to keep this together but it's really hard. He only sees the outside of things and not the bigger picture.
I'm currently in a sex-for-rent arrangement with my landlord. I'm starting to feel really disgusted with myself but I was in a desperate situation and didn't have much of a choice. For things work out it won't have to go on much longer.
>>743463509 Honestly, I think the best way to salvage it is to watch some Jordan Peterson clips about marriage, sexuality and family. I know they've helped me a lot as a person, as well as in my relationships
So there I was, getting sent out on a deployment out to Japan, and South Korea, and when we arrived in Japan and got time off, I took a train ride out to Tokyo, and I slept with two of the ladies at a massage place (They call it a soapie there) and railed out these two girls, while my wife was back in the states. Don't regret that though ;)
Over a decade ago when I was in my early 20s, I consensually hooked up with a couple random teenage girls one summer and it's possible/likely that one or both of them were underage.
Right now I'm in a pretty serious relationship with someone who has extremely strong convictions about this sort of thing; she refers to teens as "children" and says that people who are into teens are no better than pedophiles, and pedophiles should be killed, etc. I don't consider myself a pedophile because I don't find kids attractive, but our definition of what kids are is pretty different, because I don't consider teenagers children.
Of course, I've never told her about my sexual history and especially not about what happened that summer, in fact I never gave it much thought until my GF revealed her feelings about it... but now the guilt of this has been on my mind every single day for the past couple months.
I've talked to close friends and a family member about it, and they said what happened wasn't exactly ethical or legal but from a biological standpoint it's pretty normal to find post-pubescent teenage girls attractive and pursue sex with them if the opportunity presents itself. They also pointed out that it happened so long ago and I was barely done being a teen myself and was pretty emotionally immature, etc. Overall, their consensus was that it was probably something I shouldn't tell my GF.
I feel horrible about keeping this from my GF because I feel like she probably wouldn't want to be with someone who did something like that, but I can't change what happened and I don't want to sabotage our relationship over mistakes I made long in the past. The guilt of this is eating me alive.
>>743465013 The best thing to do is to be honest ASAP if you want to keep it alive (unless it's so simple to keep it hidden it would be dumb not to, and even then...). And your family is right in my opinion, in nature if it's hit puberty it's fuckable
It's so far in the past and so private that it's not like it's ever going to come back to haunt me. I don't even know those girls' names, so I doubt they know mine. Besides, they were pretty much sluts/thots, they were definitely out to fuck and I just happened to be one of the many guys they hooked up with that summer, so I doubt there's any inclination on their part to track me down and make any sort of scene.
The biggest thing that's making it hard for me to keep it from my GF is just my conscience. I lived over 10 years without even thinking about this, but my GF's convictions on the matter make me feel somewhat obliged to tell her even though it's pretty much irrelevant in my current life.
>>743465471 If she's convicted so because she's religious, then tell her and ask her to pray for/with you about it (even if you think it's bullshit). If Catholic, tell her you're going into the Confession box, yadda yada yada.
>>743465995 Yes he has, legal action either was or was almost pursued against him because he wouldn't/won't use people's pronouns. He just says he/she, whichever it is. Probably some other stuff I can't remember. He's really a fantastic guy, all of his stuff is worth watching. The series on the Bible is great when you have time, even if you aren't a Christian; he talks about the roles of the father, mother, and a few other archetypes, as well as how value structures work. It's really amazing
>>743466536 Yup. That's pretty old news now, as you likely remember. If something new like C16 gets passed there might be another string of charges. At least that *shouldn't* happen here in the states. Nationally, at least.
>be me >13 years old. >19 year old sister >im just starting to discover the wonders of masturbation >not quite sure how it works yet but figure out if i rub my index finger around it it feels kinda good. >doesnt make me cum but feels good enough for my 13 year old brain. >do this in my own room. >one day while doing this my sister barges in. >at first shes shocked ans starts yelling ew and shit like that. (Like sisters do.) >she walks out disgusted. >sit there shell shocked for a while. >worried that shes going to tell my mom when she gets home. >walk to her room >knock >she tells me to come in. >tell her im sorry for not locking my door, for not doing it under the covers, etc. >she says its fine. Everyone does it at some point >points out i was doing it wrong. >i ask how so. >she looks at me with some sort of grimace. >"im not going to tell you that. Go watch some porn or something." >she knows damn well i dont have anything to look at it with. (Only had a ps2. The computer was a family one.) >tell her how the fuck am i supposed to find some of that. >she sighs and hands me some old victorias secret catalogs >"use these for material." >ask if i should keep doing what i was doing or something else. >she just makes the up and down hand signal for jerking it. >semi get what she's talking about.
>>743467605 Fantastic. In one of the JBP videos I watched earlier, he mentioned that the public school system was designed in the 1800s to produse factory workers; that's why you line up, have bells, and are taught to essentially be dumb and harmless. I agree; I have been taught to be harmless, and only with the guidance of YouTube am I actually on my way to becomimg a dexent person.
t. 19 just finished first year of Uni
Also, look up his lecture(s) on The Lion King; great stuff.
>>743467117 She's stable bit firery but not bad. I went clubbing with her and her bf and she started grinding on me infront of him I had to stop her and explain to him she was drunk thought it was him... Fapped in the club toilets. Since then she always hints to me she likes my body how I look and tries to get her bf to be more like me. I so badly want to fuck her I know shed be a freak.
I bought some lube today for the first time in basically forever. Planned to just use it to jerk off but I ended up using it to finger my butt hole too. First time I've ever properly played with my ass. It felt fucking amazing and I can't wait to do it again at some point. I'm such a faggot but I loved it so much.
I can't believe I've missed out on this amazing feeling my whole life.
Can anyone attest to how great anal masturbation is? I really want to buy a dildo now.
>>743467915 My daughter was enrolled in a Catholic School in Toronto a couple of years ago. It's free because it's government funded. I had a huge fight with the principal because she told me that my daughter is very smart and that's a problem. I could not believe it. She's also a huge feminist, so, that didn't help.
>Sexual/love tension between my friends younger sister and I since early childhood, she's a few years younger >She progressively changes into a more beautiful girl every year, and my friend and his bro are very protective over her >Not to me though, I'm considered another bro. I think they know of the tension because she gets quite clingy sometimes and they're jokingly testing to see if I feel that way as well. >Over the years whenever there was a private moment, our actions would also progress. From sitting really close, to tickling just to touch, hugging, to stroking her stomach which I know got her real horny, and she'd let me as long as no one was around. Eventually I hugged her from behind and she felt by boner press against her ass and she guided my hands over her tits, through clothes.. but nothing else really happened as family was around all the time. >Skip to going on holiday with their family; parents, my friend, his bro, me and their sister >We arrive at holiday home, its really hot outside. Basically sit inside all day doing nothing. >Midnight, me and my friend sleep in one room and his bro and sister in another. >Next morning she makes the first move; Asks if my friend and her can switch because their other bro snores. She's not a good liar, I think the family immediately saw her plan to sleep in the same room as me and say no. >Next day we go sightseeing all day, she is again very clingy.. so I just pretend to not know about any of that. The family is jokingly seeing if I have feelings for her, but I'm pretty good at hiding my feelings when I need to. >Evening again. Me, my friend and his dad stay up late. The dad gets kinda drunk. My friend also leaves to go sleep. They are early sleepers, I'm an evening/night person. I remember the dad being quite drunk and for a moment he mentions something along the lines of it being okay if I dated his daughter.. which was weird but anyway >He goes to sleep as well, I'm just by myself watching some TV >cont.
>>743468519 Go to a hardware store and look for wooden dowels. There are a lot to choose from so find a size you're comfortable with. Also get some 180 and 320-360 grit sandpaper. Cut a decent length of the dowel and use the 180 to round one end until it looks like a broom handle. Sand the whole thing, then resand with the 320 till it's totally smooth. Use a small nail and a small flat piece of wood at the bottom to create a base so you won't lose it up you ass. ALWAYS PUT A CONDOM ON IT! You don't want splinters. Have fun.
Discovered sex at young age. Like 6. By age 9 had sucked off dog and fell in love with it. Found i thoroughly love the smell of shit if i don't know who's it is. Would masturbate in school, ADD meds made me horny. All this before the 4th grade. May have vague memory of being molested. None of it matters. Im in my mid 20s and found out ill probably be dead by 32. Oh well.
>Hear someone come down the stairs, the house is very noisy. >It's the younger sister, coming down to get a drink. She laughs and asks why I'm sitting there all by myself. >She gets a drink and sits right next to me, wearing just underwear and a shirt. I remember trying not to look at her pussy but she's wearing white panties and I can see the shape of her pussy. Also I can tell she doesn't wear a bra >All I think about at this point, but I'm not sure if I should really go for it. At this point she is legal and I know she wants it but if family finds out.. >Too late, while having those thoughts I automatically stroke her stomach and I can tell she loves it; I can see her pussy getting wet >Raging boner, I quickly move over to her pussy but she stops me >Lifts shirt and shows me her beautiful boobs >I remember thinking: this girl is perfect, while finally getting to hold and play with her boobs. >Slide one hand down and reach into her panties. Her pussy is so wet.. >Take down her panties, such a beautiful pussy as well. Take off my pants and underwear as well. (My friend would always joke about my dick for some reason, he saw it a couple of times in showers and so she heard how big it was for years). >Clearly remember her face when she saw it, bright red and sweaty. >Don't think she's ever done stuff with a guy before, gives me a sloppy handjob as I rub her pussy. >She lets out a pretty loud moan/shriek when I start to finger her. Afraid anyone might've heard us we sit for a minute so we could cover up quickly if needed. >No one comes down >Quickly get back to business >She lays down on the couch, get to fingering her and after a while eat her out. She's trying to control her moaning, but is breathing heavily >Can tell she's about to orgasm >This sight man.. Take my dick and rub it over her clit. "Do you want it?" She sort of moaningly goes: Mhm. >At this point didn't know she was a virgin, she took it very well and without a loud moan this time. >Cont.
I write cheesy high school romance stories and shipping fanfiction I don't drink or smoke because my dad became was an addict who beat my mom and ruined her life. I have a three inch erection and I’m circumcised. When I was younger, my dad used to shave me, cut my nails, trim my pubes, pop pimples on my face and back, would smell my penis to make sure it smelled nice, would do the same for my armpits, and would sometimes shower with me. This went on until I was around 16 and he would also beat me if I ever denied him. Every weekend for the past four years, I’ve gone to the movies or taken a nap in my car and told my mom I was out with friends. I’ve also told her I’m dating a Korean girl who was in one of my university classes. When I was younger, girls at school used to hug me and random and would also tell me they loved me. Eventually I found out they would dare each other to hug guys they found especially creepy/ugly and I was a prime target. One of them also started a rumor I was stalking her because we lived on adjacent streets, after which most of my friends stopped associating with me. In high school girls used to befriend me so I would do their work. They were always upbeat and nice, would constantly ask me about my weekend, and tell me how smart and sophisticated I was. Eventually I started fucking up and they all moved onto the autistic kid who also got good grades. When I was a teenager, I used to do weird/disgusting shit to make my friends laugh. More than once I dropped my pants and danced around because I had a small dick and it made them laugh to see me humiliate myself. I would do anything to make someone like me. I like the band Echosmith. The only time I use reddit is going on r/pillowtalkaudio to download audios where girls pretend to be your girlfriend and pretend to talk to you to help me fall asleep. I also paid a woman online to make me a 10 minute custom girlfriend audio
>>743456895 I once took a tampon from the ladies restroom dispenser, dripped my bloody nose on it for awhile and left it on a random windshield. To this day I laugh about the thoughts running through the owners mind.
>>743471903 >Moments later I feel her pussy pulsing my dick out and her whole body is shocking >The years of anticipation.. >I think I never blew such a huge load.. Loads inside her, on her stomach, even on the couch. >Don't care though, both so relieved of finally being able to do this and make out for a while. >Clean the couch, apparently not good enough.. but she blames it on spilt milk >During that holiday we secretly got together a few more times and every time she let me cum inside her >I was worried about getting her pregnant every time, but the feeling was too good. >Back at home we dated for a full year, the family didn't seem to mind because it was me though it got a bit awkward.
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