Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

>>743333440
I have space aids

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>>743333901
I tried to warn you.

>>743334055
Riker said the b**** was clean....

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>>743334168
>trusting Riker

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>>743333440
Space niggers stole my bike

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>>743334359
I'm pretty sure you just left it in the holodeck. Also, please refrain from using that language on the ship.

>>743333440
My finger feels kinda funny.

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>>743334874
Tell me about it.....but, it doesn't seem to have any problems.

My borg cock hurts

>>743335078
Well, I guess I'd say... Jerry Lewis funny. But not dead. I mean, it seems ok, but still, doesn't feel quite right.

>>743333440
bout 5 years ago i had what's described as a sharp pull down on my center chest (sternum)
i'd be in the shower and tilted my head down and exhaled out and bam, i'd feel it.
i'd be driving and i'd turn my head and bam, feel it again.
i'd be walking and i would step hard (full foot on ground) and feel it again.
went to doctor. did ekg. nothing.
after a while it went away.
doc gave me stomach medicine, thinking it might be a bacteria. i don't eat spicy foods.
also gave me something to lower my cholesterol.
the feeling never occurred while working out.
once in a while i'll feel a small pinch around my center of chest.
the feeling never last long than a sec or two.
no pain in either arms/shoulder or back.
also had x-rays done.

what can it be doctor?

>>743335322
Super Space AIDS

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>>743335158
I can fix that.

>>743333440
Couples threads up there's a rekt thread that needs your attention. kek

>>743335504
troi told me she was clean!!!!

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>>743335904
Oh, what a shame....I just misplaced my mobile emitter. Looks like I'm stuck here.

Ripped major ass... Now it won't stop bleeding

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>>743335953
Why would you trust *anyone* on the Enterprise?

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>>743334296

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>>743333440

>>743335826

Dude, who the fuck would hesitate there?

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>>743336149
What happened to your goatee?

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>>743336230

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>>743336316

>>743336149
kek filename

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>>743335953

Eh, still worth it.

>>743336510
She just went on and on about MY emotions. I wanted to kill myself. Easiest lay in the entire Federation, and nobody ever fucks her twice.

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Just imagining that thick space dick pounding in and out of her tight betazoid pussy.

>>743334055

Lay off him Harry, at least he's getting laid.

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>>743336656

>>743333440
I LOST THE KEY TO MY CHASTITY BELT! I HAVE NOT CUM IN EONS OP! PLEASE SEND HELP!

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>>743336656
I got laid too....dozens of times!

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>>743336656

I TRIED TO WARN YOU

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>>743336786

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>>743336786
Given your track record, it's probably best if you stay in that belt.

Seven tried to rape me in the jefferies tube.

>>743336843
Fuck you. I want to fuck space pussy. I won't find shit in THAT log. I need another captains log...

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>>743336831
Doesn't count

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>>743336902

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>>743336831

I got more pussy than you. Fuck, even the ship's dyke went for a ride on my robo-dick.

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>>743336980

>>743336975
Why do you think we let her on board?

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>>743336980

This space pussy is set up for easy access.

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>>743336975
Trust me, you do NOT do it for me.

>>743333440
I have a tribble that somehow ended up in my ass. But it keeps eating my poop and making babies.

>>743337109
Fuck you. I NEED ANDY SIXXXXXX

>>743337148
Happens more often than you'd think. We once had to treat an entire graduating class at the Academy for Tribble Rectal Syndrome

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>>743337002
Yeah, but you couldn't feel or enjoy it.

>>743333440
I feel like I'm a girl...but I have a dick.

Cure me, Doc.

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>>743337148

>>743337253
> snip!

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>>743337148
>>743337217
We had a briefing about this before we left port.

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>>743337303

>>743337311
That was your class, wasn't it Captain?

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>>743333440
My tit's gonna rot off.

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>>743336975

And you didn't let her? I'm afraid you're suffering from an acute case of homosexuality.

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please discontinue this activity

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>>743337386

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B'Ellana won't let me rape her in the jefferies tube.

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>>743337385
Did you notice the symptoms before or after you turn into an ape in this episode's bizarre transporter accident?

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>>743337220

What part of "fully functional" is unclear to you, chink boy?

Now shut the fuck up, get back to tactical, and resume kicking yourself for not taking Seven up on her offer of free pussy.

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>>743337373
We had it on the ship!

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>>743337579
You wanna leave my wife alone....'ensign?'

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>>743337579

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>>743337386

Hi guys, am I late for the harry roasting session?

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>>743333440

Im being beaten and sodomized by an angry crowd ?

>>743337672
She's sublimated her aggressive urges with half the male crew, you cuck

>>743337727

Harry's still alive, so no.

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>>743337398

My.... GOD

She tasks me!

She tasks me and I shall have her!

>>743337727
There's an open hole in the spit-roast

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>>743337824
No she hasn't. Believe me, I know B'Ellana.

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>>743337346
>computer open holodeck program: breedlust Warf. in crease genital barbs by 50%
>rename this program "riker'ssexyfuntime"
>replace command "end program" with "duplicate warf"
>replace command "pause program" with "enlarge Warf"
>override all safety protocols and save program

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>>743337676
Like these tits?

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>>743337590
...before... because that hasn't happened yet. Does that happen?

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>>743337727

Are you bothering about with those insignificant little...

Oh, wait, is that harry kim? Lol. What a faggot. Wouldn't even let Seven fuck him.

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>>743337987
> shows tricorder
Taken last night

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>>743338144
>4
>>743337311
>>743337122
>>743335322
>>743335277

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>>743338144
Must be some kind of weird time loop, then

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>>743338105

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>>743338105
i love slidding logs while watching star trek with the fam

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>>743338176
Unacceptable. I'm telling her and Tuvok. You're in for it now, buster.

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>>743338062

>>743338301
Andy Sixx's Logs Of Shit Slidding Down My Fucking Throat

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>>743338387
> might discover I took that pic!

>>743338387
One day you'll get it scooter

>>743338301
Do you?

McGregor can't go 12 rounds

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>>743338659

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>>743338659
Grow up

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My, the sickbay's crowded tonight.

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>>743338387

Mmm, Vorik, I can't wait to get that uniform off you and OH SHIT TOM THIS ISNT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

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>>743338620
of course, retard. who doesnt

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>>743338950
It's too late. I'm already on my way to Tuvok.

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>>743338899
This is your future, child!!

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>>743338899

Oh shit, I knew I shouldn't have fucked Riker. Sorry Neelix.

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>>743339130
What the--?

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>>743339178
We can get through this, Kes.

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>>743339110

This denial of the truth - that your wife has been ridden more times than the Earth-to-Lunar shuttle by every member of this crew - is...

Not logical.

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>>743339463
That's not like you, Mr. Tuvok.

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>>743339178
We Khan get through this, Kes.

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>>743339394

Neelix, now isn't the best time...

>>743339463
Why does Tuvok always remind me of 0bama?

Must be the family resemblance...

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>>743339581

Now is not the time, Commander. It seems Miss Torres' inability to keep her legs closed has unleashed space AIDS upon the crew.

>>743335953
Wasn't that old ugly bitch arrested for being higher than a kite and flashing children

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>>743339602
I hope so, Khan

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>>743340004
> waiting in Tuvok's bed

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This is now a Spiderman thread!

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>>743340004
I'll have a talk with her. I need to remind her that we're not in the Marquis anymore.

>>743340121

I'm afraid I can't take you for a "vulcan pogo stick ride" tonight, B'elanna.

The situation has continued to deteriorate, as you can see.

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>>743340121
> enters turbolift

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>>743340252

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>>743340194

I accidentally had sex with her instead.

Fucking space AIDS.

>>743340423
So did Kes >>743339130

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>>743340258

Mister Tuvok, I'm not sure how I got from the Enterprise to your quarters...

Or why I'm naked...

>>743333440

20 Borg are about to break through the door. I need for you to stall them.

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>>743340635
Captain, I have discovered space AIDS patient zero

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What the fuck is happening on this ship? Now I'VE got space AIDS.

How the fuck is this even possible?

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>>743340938
You said you were a hologram, so we didn't need protection.

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>>743340889

But Mister Tuvok, Betazoids are immune to space AIDS.

Are you sure you're feeling ok?

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(Meanwhile, watching all this unfold from the higher dimensions)

You're right, son, this shit is fucking hilarious. I'm sorry I ever doubted your ability to carry this off.

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>>743340938

This is getting out of hand. We need to contact the Vidiians, they're the only ones with the medical expertise to stop this outbreak.

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Are we really wasting ship power and time bringing fake illnesses to the holodoctor?

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>>743341241
You gave me space AIDS, you lying bitch!

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>>743333440
Help Doctor! I had sex with a space spider and now I'm worried about Space-AIDs. I would also be worried about freak spider babies but she dissapeared under the stairs.

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>>743341422

It's too late, Captain, the klingon whore got us too!

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>>743341562

Oh jesus christ, the space AIDS combined with the spider genes and made it SPIDER SPACE AIDS!

>>743341562
Relax, that's just the emergency sexual hologram.

Scotty designed it. Fucker has some weird fetishes.

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>>743333440
Hi Doc, I'm having this weird problem where we have a Captain who doesn't know how to inspire confidence in his ranks and a showrunner who doesn't know what universe we're in.

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>>743341597
Slut, please. Whores fuck for money, not for fun.

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>>743341723

I HEARD THAT YEH LOUSY SLAG

YEH'RE RIGHT FUCKED WHEN I FINESH MEH SPACE SILVER BAG CHICKEN

>>743333440
Op is massive holographic faggot

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Doctor, I'm worried I have Romulan herpes after banging that Tar Shiar whore. I keep pulling these things off my dick.

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Ok now what the fuck is going on? How did that whore's space AIDS manage to strip me of my powers? That shouldn't even be possible! What have you fucked up this time, Riker?

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WARNING: BIO-NEURAL CIRCUITRY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED BY SPACE AIDS. SHIP WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN ONE HOUR.

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>>743341791
doctor this post made me laugh but now that reality has fully set in, I'm mildly suicidal, can you give me some space weed?

>>743333440
I love the star trek series so much, but what the fuck is this thread?

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>>743342463

Guinan, come to the ready room please.

>>743341791
>throw away legacy of captain kirk and jimmyjohn picard.
>ignore set design
>ignore stories
>call it star trek anyway
>don't air it, but dump it on the internet

>property with the biggest and most dedicated fan base of any show in history

my god they still have no fucking clue what to do with star trek half a century later.

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>>743342413
Captain, we might be able to create a positron cascade within the space AIDS particles by initiating an inverse tachyon pulse through the main deflector array.

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>>743334359
Lol. This thing says you're a fuckin' loser.

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>>743342671

Seriously Guinan get here now. You've gotta see this shit. It's fucken great.

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>>743342928

Shit captain, I fucked it up, I got distracted thinking of the time Seven threw her wet Borg poon at me and I passed it up. I just realised she's a virgin and it woulda been great.

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>>743343226

>>743342701
Only the tv business could be allowed to fuck something up so badly and so many times, and just squander such an opportunity

If you had a show already in existence with that big of a dedicated fan base, you'd have brand managers and boards full of marketing shmoes and writers all working together to ensure there is ALWAYS a series in some stage of production trickling out output available to the viewership and it's consistent with the image and brand people love.

There's no way you can put twenty writers in a room and they can't figure out where Star Trek can go. There are libraries full of barely-explored sci-fi ideas that never even get read. Fucking hire people who can put the show together as it should be, wtf.

>inb4 they make a fucking unwatchable mess of it like enterprise again
>and it fails and is considered the nail in the coffin of the franchise
>again.

Fucking inept entertainment industry idiots.

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>>743343226

Dammit Harry, I can't have you making mistakes like this, I'm ordering you to get laid immediately!

Treky nerds in their parents basements jacking off to the thought of fucking an alien. How pathetic!