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Dancing Machines Inc.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 257
Thread images: 151

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Dancing Machines Inc.
>>
>>743108591
Hang on that's an animal, which is clearly not meant for sexual relations or any kind of intimacy for us humans, as made clear in the old testament
>>
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>>743108527
Appreciate you saying that I guess.

>>743108690
Getting kinda old.
>>
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>>743108732
well i mean, regardless of how often it's posted, it's still good
>>
>>743108732
Well it's over 3,200 years old buddy
>>
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>>743108844
True. Just considering that repetition is kinda eh.

>>743108924
Not referring to the text, the joke.
>>
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>>743108732
Maybe you should try being less of a fag?
I bet you wouldn't see it as often then.
>>
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>>743109047
i don't think you should worry about it, if you feel you need to update what's on hand i can help you out
>>
>>743109047
I hope you don't think the word of god is a joke pal, you're going to turned into a pile of salt that's saltier than the jizz coming off that cute bunny
>>
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>>743109214
Not saying I mind it, just pointing out that I'm likely the only one responding, and that too is more of a courtesy.

>>743109230
Nah, not enough space on the drive for that really.

>>743109245
Well, you have fun with that.
>>
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>>743109434
aww, that kinda sucks
how big is the drive/how much space is left?
>>
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>>743109883
It's a small drive, just 258GB I think, there's something like 70GB left. Don't really feel like filling it up with porn.
>>
>>743110085
you don't have to fill it up with porn, but i understand
get a porn flash drive, a little 16 or 32gb thing, they aren't too expensive last i checked
>>
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>>743110342
Don't think I can be arsed to tho.
>>
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>>743110480
fair enough, there's more to life than porn lol
>>
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>>743110716
Yeah, porn is just nice to look at.
>>
>>743110885
i've got a decent amount, i like looking at it a lot
>>
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>>743110958
It's nice to have a wide array.
>>
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>>743111097
i need it wider
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>>743111097
>>
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>>743111279
CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP

>>743111377
!!!
>>
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>>743111522
How wide an array?
wrist wide?
>>
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>>743111579
>
>>
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>>743111713
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>>743111377
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>>743111784
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>>743111975
Been awhile, how are you doing badj?
>>
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>>743112030
Glad I found some contacts for getting bud, right now I'm high and chilling with music. What about you?
>>
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>>743112221
Waiting around for it to be time to head to work.
Hungry, maybe I'll get some lunch on the way.
>>
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>>743112473
W-WORK!? How? Since when?
>>
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Goddamn I have the munchies but I don't wanna wake anyone up.
>>
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>>743108591
I just love butts, how about you guys?
>>
>>743113326
Start of the summer. Been there like two and a half months now.
It's really difficult.
>>
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>>743113487
Yeah, butts are great.

>>743113653
Why is it difficult?
>>
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>>743114337
Too much pressure.
>>
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>>743114547
Jesus christ, and you probably pay taxes too.
>>
>>743113487
Of course.
>>
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>>743114772
Of course, they take something like a third of my paycheck.
a little less really.
>>
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>>743115019
Absolutely heretical
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>>743116244
Don't they take more from you wherever you live?
They take more than they need from mine and give some back in April, it's the way to go.
>>
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>>743115937
Omg hnnnn

I want to be the one getting fucked....
>>
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dongs
>>
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>>743116542

You and me both.

I wish I wasn't old.
>>
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>>743116355
They take progressively, below a certain threshold they take nothing. Tax returns are in December here
>>
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>>743114337
>>743114916
It's like they're made to be fugd
>>743114547
Wat do?
>>
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>>743116671
Drongers

>>743116850
In some cases they are.
>>
>>743116793
How old?
>>
>>743116807
Okay, I need to go sell strap-ons now. Hopefully I'll see you again before too long because I enjoy you.
>>743116850
Who the fuck are you? Kill yourself pls.
>>
>>743111097
so big :3c
>>
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>>743116952
We'll see how I come and go. Have fun.

>>743117022
Big is where it's at.
>>
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>>743116919

37.

And married with a kid and service-connected disability that makes meangingful exercise really tough.

I wish I was in my teens again and know what I know now so I could sculpt myself into the skinny little boislut I'm supposed to be.
>>
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>>743117091
yes it is i like big!
>>
>>743117166
I'm 24 right now and I just started buying bad dragon toys about a year ago. I have 2 right now and 1 more on the way.

Its never too late to do what you want.
>>
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>>743117377
Good then I guess.
>>
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>>743117423

If he's over 30 and wants to be a trappy slut, then yes it is too late. You need to be young to look good as a girlyboy.
>>
>>743117608
How old is too old?
>>
>>743116952
Lol, someone's insecure. Bad day?
>>
>>743116850
You were made to be fugd.
>>
>>743117423
Which ones do you have, if you don't mind me asking? Would you recommend them?
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>>743117701

There isn't a really hard line, because your genetics determine so much of it.

In general, if you start young (12-16), and commit to maintaining it, you can stay a girlyboy through to about the end of your 30s. Most people realize they want to be that way in their late teens or early 20s, which means that you can make it to your early or (if fortunate) middle 30s.

If you aren't even starting until you're close to 30, or even after 30, there's basically no hope. There's nothing sadder than a person who has clearly presented as fully masculine for 30 years suddenly trying to present as partially feminine; go look at male-to-female crossdressers and you'll find most of them fall into this territory.

Someone who realizes they want to be a submissive girlyboy at 37 will be a guaranteed horrorshow.
>>
>>743117983
I currently have a Small Bumble Hooves which I can take to the base. A medium Sleipnir that I can't even get the tip inside because the size chart they have with the coke cans was a little confusing.

I have a medium Bumbles on the way in soft. I'm confident that I will be able to take this one and if I can work this one I'm sure I can make some magic happen with Sleipnir.
>>
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>>743117927
M-maybe...?
>>
>>743118155
Well at this point I think I'd rather just be gay or have a hot femboy with a decent sized dick to fuck me and vice versa.
>>
>>743118310
Bend over.
>>
>>743117983
I forgot the recommending part. Make SURE to check the sizing charts and look up videos of them in use. Size Can be deceiving. I really like Bumble Hooves. What do you want?

Deep penetration? Stretching? Both?
>>
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>>743118362

Go for it. I'm not saying that you can't be girly or be a sub.

I'm saying that across the population, the window to make yourself into a convincing girlyboy is fairly narrow, and the later you start, the worse you're <likely> to look.
>>
>>743118392
W-why...? What're you going to do?
>>
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>>743118724
Fisting.
>>
>>743118525
Yeah, their sizings have gotten me in the past too. I'm not the best at going deep, but I can take a stretching, so there's that. Snep and Fenrir have been piquing my interest as of late.
>>
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>>743119239
Which ones? Sorry.
>>
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>>743119533
Snep
https://www.bad-dragon.com/products/snep
and Fenrir
https://www.bad-dragon.com/products/fenrir

They look pretty fun and girthy, I was thinking of getting a small or maybe medium in either.
>>
whup jamboree
>>
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>>743120001
I'll jam your boree.
>>
>>743119995
Oh okay. The Snep one only comes in a single size but it seems good. I think my next toy will be a knotted one. I can't imagine the feeling of it. Just remember to check the sizes. My med Sleipnir head is 2.7 inches and I couldn't get that in. The toy you want with the knot has a 3 inch.
>>
>>743120469
Tell him Snarf
>>
anyone else want to bathe in cock until they die
>>
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>>743120537
I'll tell your him.
>>
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>>743118724
What people usually do to butts I'd imagine.
>>
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>>743120001
!!!

>>743120556
yes
>>
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>>743118155
yeah, being a trap is hard. Most guys are better off being a sexy manslut.

In the gay world I think traps are a laughing stock, typical gay men adore manliness and don't try to cover it up.

I think all body types are sexy as long as you're in good shape.
>>
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Yay dicks and stuff
>>
>>743120688
O... ok
>>
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>>743122177
mfw I'm 6'4" 240lbs and all I want is to be a 5'9" 110lb boislut :(
>>
>>743121073
Hide drugs up there?
>>
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>>743122488
>tfw 5'2" 110lb boislut and I want to be a 6'8" Viking
We all want what we can't have.
>>
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>>743122913
I'll trade bodies if you're down
>>
>>743122999
Find a way to do so and I won't hesitate.
>>
>>743122887
i like it
>>
>>743122887
Really smart post here.
>>
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>>743122587
It's possible.

>>743122913
YOU
>>
>>743122887
I hesitate to say you're one of the smartest anons I've ever seen
>>
>>743123087
ME
>>
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>>743122177
>In the gay world I think traps are a laughing stock, typical gay men adore manliness and don't try to cover it up

See, that's the thing. Looking manly makes it really hard to be thought of as a sub. I don't WANT to be part of that whole "male competition and pack dominance" routine anymore.

Looking more feminine means that you're treated differently and people will subconsciously remove you as a threat and challenge to their dominance and all that. The Native Americans who had the 3rd gender girly-boys who were expected to assist the women and exist as sexual relief for the men had TOTALLY the right idea.
>>
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>>743123109
Who else?

Sup duder?
>>
>>743123202
Anyone.

Nothing really. Bored as hell.

You?
>>
>>743122488
>tfw 5'9'' 130 lbs boislut
You can't be 110 lbs, 120 lbs is full on skeleton already.

>>743123087
Wanna try it?
>>
What is it with gay dudes and fucking in the woods?

Did I miss a meeting or something?
>>
>>743123302
It's apart of their evil, Satanic ritual to convert everyone to the gay.
>>
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>>743123293
Alright fair enough, I just want to be small enough to be overpowered by a guy for once :(
>>
>>743122887
Really meta.
>>
>>743122488
Nigger I'm 130 at 5'10 and I still look like a skelebro.
>>
>>743123302
You know, you go camping with your boyfriend, flash him your butt when you're standing at a tree and suddenly you've got a dick up your butt. Weird that.

>>743123379
If you were 5'9'' 110 lbs, you'd probably just snap like a twig tbh. I've got fuck all strength at 130 lbs.
>>
>>743122887
Smart.
>>
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>>743123289
Just smoked the last few bits I had left, now the high is kinda receding, but I do feel good, if a bit bored.

>>743123293
I like to use drugs, not hide them. But I do feel a need to get something in there.

>>743123302
>>743123351
>>743123351
>>743123351
>>
>>743122887
Smartass
>>
>>743123902
What else could you shove up there besides drugs? It's clearly only meant to be used to transport drugs.
>>
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scored some drugs
>>
>>743123902
Nice. I haven't smoked today myself, only got about 2 bowls worth, so I was going to wait until a couple friend come over tomorrow. We plan on going shroom hunting on the off-chance that it rains.
>>
>>
>>743123379
I'd do my best, it's pretty easy to overpower someone when they're tied up and gagged
>>
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>>743124048
Ah, you motherfuckers. Now you're making me want to smoke.
>>
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>>743124007
Dicks probably. Loads of them.

>>743124048
Awesome, just as I ran out. I'll get more soon enough I suppose.

>>743124106
Cool, can I come with? It's not an impossible drive. I could maybe get the bf to go with me.
>>
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>>743124176
My favorite place to be~
>>
>>743124007
>>743124215
And loads of semen
>>
>>743124215
Where do you live?
>>
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>>743124179
smoke

>>743124215
friend came by, gave a few T's and left me with a nug
i'd share, but considering you're on another continent i'll have a T for you
>>
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>>743124269
Obviously, yeah.

>>743124332
Finland, duh. I'm pretty sure we have covered this.

>>743124337
Do it, I'm pretty fine as is.
>>
>>743124215
>>743124269
Dicks? In butts? Really? Sounds a bit gay to me.
>>
>>743124476
You don't know until you try it
>>
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>>743118168
get this toy, it's the best training toy I've ever had.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/NS-Novelties-Maximus-King-Flesh/dp/B00H0AKIRI

The bulbous tip is easy to get past the sigmoid, it's firm but soft enough to conform, and you can basically take it to your depth limit and it will simply max out the stretch of your insides without getting hung up on some bend you can't get past. I was trying to take thin dildos, much smaller than this, and I couldn't take them nearly as deep.

Only downside is it's TPR not silicone, but that's still way better than PVC. Basically you need to wash it and sanitize it religiously but it's non-toxic. TPR is much slicker than silicone though, another benefit.

Also, the best position for going deep is squatting on your dildo and angling the tip of it towards your back as far as you can, not towards your stomach, as long as it's soft and bendy. This seems to relax the sigmoid best. Pushing like you're trying to take a shit at the right time also helps.
>>
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>>743124476
I mean, that's kinda the point.
>>
>>743124337
Oh, fine. I probably shouldn't since I snorted 400mg of pure caffeine earlier which is horribly bitter, but fuck it. I like drugs.

>>743124451
Have fun driving to across the pond to Georgia. It's a long drive I've heard.
>>
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>>743124451
i will be back momentarily
maybe i will play some vidya soon as well, dunno yet
>>
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>>743124641
Your trip confused me. Thought you were shorty for a while.
>>
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>>743124832
>shorty
>tfw 5'2"
You're half right.
>>
>>
>>743124621
What is the size of this thing? Inches long and wide?

Whenever I use my toys I lay on my side and sometimes I bounce on them.
>>
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>>
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>>743121179

smooch
>>
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>>
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hi dom
>>
>tfw dunno if I wanna gf or bf
being bi is suffering
>>
>>743125474
Hnnnn~
>>
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>>743125810
Why can't herms be real?
>>
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>>
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>>
>>743125810
Pick on, they both have their ups and downs.
>>
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>>743125810

Pick both.

>tfw you will never have a cute girl keeping score in your game of gay femboi Twister
>>
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>>743124621
this is the position I'm talking about. Seems counter intuitive but it works. Pushing while you insert the toy, specifically when you hit the sigmoid, is important.

>>743125233
I think it's about 3 inches wide and 9-11 inches long. It doesn't really matter though because you can work up to taking the whole thing easy thanks to it's shape. It's also the perfect size for squatting on. I used it until I could insert all of it then moved on to larger toys. Because it's so wide though I recommend stretching with short regular butt plugs until you can easily take it's girth before using it.

Laying on your side is bullshit, I used to try that because people recommended it. Squatting and pushing relaxes your sigmoid way better (our bodies are designed for it). Going up and down slowly to continually push-deep/back-off to help relax is good but probably not "bouncing". It's better not to think of your ass like a vagina, you have to be gentler with it and learn what works, not just act like you're in porn. When you're a beginner you can't try weird positions and use odd shaped toys, you need to squat, push, and work your way up. That's why the King is good, it's basically a tapered butt-plug (the best toy for stretching and improving) you can take deep. Also you can't use too much lube and bad dragon lube is the best.
>>
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>>
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>>
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>>
>>743125055
wrong shorty regardless

>>743125474
kissu
>>
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>>
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>>
>>743127135
I'm 6 foot and 275-280 so it's hard for me to stay balanced when I do that. I might look into that. I'm trying to lose weight and it's hard. I work so much I hardly have the time.
>>
>>
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>>
hi zryss

>>743127742

howre you
>>
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I've been doing anal for years and have learned a lot, if anyone wants advice you can contact me at [email protected]

>>743127950
that's unfortunate. Do jump squats every day. Also I firmly believe that if you're going to abuse your body by putting things where you don't belong you should be healthy and careful what you eat to make up for it. Lot's of people get injuries or develop chronic conditions because of bad anal play practices, it's not something that should be taken lightly.

my goal is to be like this guy eventually: https://www.xtube.com/video-watch/A-little-diving-31612282
>>
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>>743128702
how was your day
>>
>>743128922

everything went great.

>>743128895

tell me some bad anal practices
>>
>>743128895
I'm drinking more water, eating less, and eating better. Also don't think just because I am bigger than normal means I am dirty. I don't eat anything a few hours before and I take a shower and clean myself.
>>
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>>
do they make pills to cure being an asshole
>>
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Hello people
>>
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>>743129251
that's pretty good

>>743129847
>>743129900
how's it going
>>
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hello all my friends, i go to shower, but i will return
>>
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>>743130111
I'm normally indifferent on fursuits but this one turns me on...
>>
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>>743130047
Going okay

Just ate dinner

>>743130111
Are you going to clean so you can take the sweet dick later?
>>
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>>743130281

yes

>>743130221
>>
dom thats lewd

>>743130281
nice, what did you eat
>>
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>>743130334
Nice

be sure to take your daily allowance of cummies

>>743130397
Calzone
>>
>>743129900
Hunnibuns won't come give me snugs.
>>
I await your freshly showered butt
>>
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>>743130525
Why not?
>>
>>743130465
very yummy
>>
>>
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>that word

>>743128702
I am of the goodest. And u?

>>743130560
>>
If anyone still has kik and wants to hang out in a chill group msg " toxic.the.wolf. " (three dots)
>>
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>>743130334
love that shirt :)
>>
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>>743130589
It was pretty good.
>>
>>743130572
Probably because I'm at work.
>>
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>>743130990
Take your break and have him fuck you in the bathroom.
>>
>>743131150
I don't get breaks.
>>
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>>
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>>743131232
Do you not work long enough to get them or is your state fucked up
>>
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>>
>>743129847
Yes, it's called cyanide you fucking pussy.
>>
>>743131384
My job is fucked up, I usually work solo, so as long as there's no customers, I can take a break, but no "full 15 minutes, don't bother me" breaks.
>>
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>>743131150
That's a juicy pic btw. Carry on.
>>
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>>743131590
Sounds like they need to be reported

>>743131633
Thanks

I like juicy and plump butts
>>
>>743131714
They need to be reported for a lot of things.
>>
how do I go about stretching enough to take a BD toy knot?
>>
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>>743131816
Well when you quit take a list of violations and report it to the state labor board or what ever it is.
>>
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goodnight friends
>>
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>>743132101
Nighty night
>>
>>743131935
Utah doesn't give a fuck about its workers. Only thing I'd probably get anywhere with is the environmental guys, since how we clean and dispose of fuel in the spill buckets isn't correct, but that doesn't affect me.
>>
>>743131933
>>743131933
>>
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>>743132474
I had a feeling
>>
>>743130281
do you have the followup pic to this with the cumshot?
>>
>>743131935
Are you fucked in the head or something?
>>
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>>743131714
You and me both.

>>743132101
g'ninis
>>
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>>743133496
It's right here

>>743133575
they're nice to play with.
>>
>>743133848
Nice to touch, nice to eat, nice to tickle and do things with.
>>
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>>
>>743134006
>nice to eat
What're you, fucking gay?
>>
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rate me
>>
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Hey its a badj thread
>>
0 neopets out of 5
>>
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>>743134332
9/10
Hottest of the hot in this hellhole.
>>
>>743132652
>>743131933

practice slowly and surely with lots of lubricant every day, working your way up the dildo ranks until you reach bd tier
>>
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>>743134006
Yes

>>743134589
Is it anything like leveling up in D&D?
>>
>>743134656
>D&D
Fucking neck yourself before you wreck yourself.
>>
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You guys are some serious homos, keep it up!
>>
>>743134514
I can't believe Neopets is still going.
>>
>>743134514
I was banned from Neopets for writing sex stories about mine. They said I was trying to push my sexuality on young children.
>>
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>>
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>>743134300
Kinda, yeah.

>>743134480
Oh yes indeed, come on in.
>>
>>743135432
Which you were.
>>
>>743134656

no

>>743135138

probably costs very little to maintain

>>743135432

were you a young child
>>
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>>743135740
So what's new with you?

>>743135942
How was the shower
>>
>>743135942
i was
>>
>>743135432
Give us details
>>
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>>743136006
Found a reliable source for drugs, which is nice.

You?
>>
>>743136006

ill tell you about it on discord

>>743136032

i remember wondering why no one else was embarrassed to watch lion king 2, but it was because normals dont have a crush on kovu
>>
oh yea it's leagues account
>>
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>>743136127
>>743136263
Oh, alright. He should be home in like 20 minutes or so. I need to get him some dinner too.

>>743136119
Sounds nice

Been hanging out relaxing. Finally able to have sex again after like 4 months of not.
>>
>>743136263
League of legends is crap.
>>
>>743136127
oh my god I had that problem with kung fu panda 3. like when Po's dad shows up I just fucking lost my shit and everyone else was like "wtf is wrong with you"
>>743136116
I had created some kind of slice of life thing where these two dog neopets were living together but they totally were not gay because that was wrong but they really loved each other. then I described a night when they licked each other and that led to kissing and "humping" and Neopets said "uh no."
>>
>>743136348

whats on the menu

>>743136388

i don't disagree. in fact, i agree.

>>743136475

oh yea, not the fucking goose, the real panda
>>
Im glad LoL has pretty much died in the west
Let the chinks be the only people who care
>>
>>743136530
Calzone left over from last night
>>
>>743136530
awww now the goose was a good all around dad-guy
>>
Speaking of birds, the Ducktales reboot is surprisingly good.
>>
Thread is sink
>>
>>743136475
Do you still have the story?
>>
>>743136609

bon appetit

>>743136670

but he wasn't hot
>>
>>743137011
FINISH.. the fucking STORY. What hapens? what about the glands?
>>
Sometimes, things are worse. Sometimes you are the worse.
Life.
>>
>>743137011
oh hell no it was incredibly childish, I'm sure I destroyed the original article
>>743137090
that's not everything ya know
>>
>>743137375
>>743137375
>>743137375
Thread posts: 257
Thread images: 151


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