Addictions thread. What's your addiction? How goes the battle?

Been smoking for 6 years
Not pretty well

I'm addicting to reading stupid threads on the internet. As for the battle...well, look where I am

Weed. And my own depression.

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alcohol every night for last 5 years or so

I'm addicted to faggotry, I'm losing at the moment but I feel like I'm on the upswing

>>742731194
how old are you?

>>742731015
Ive quit heroin(all opiates really) coke weed alcohol now ive just got cigarettes left so ive won a few battles but the war is still going

I'm addicted to my ex.

Her sister deleted me off snapchat and facebook last week. I rarely saw anything from my ex, but now I know it's over. I might not ever even know another detail of her life.

I really miss her. She hurt me so many times, but she also made me happy. She was bipolar, and that is probably the most fitting word for her. One day she'd be like a puppy, so excited to see me. The next day she'd block me on Facebook and ignore my texts.

Been smoking since 15. I used to take any pill I could get my hands on. Then started taking codeine and then decided to try the devils lettuce. loved it. then decided to try MDMA. almost died from some bad xanax. quit everything. still smoke cigs.

>>742731015
oxygen

i've tried to go cold turkey but i feel like i'm dying and i just have to get more.

>>742732964
More details because I'm sad and lonely.

She dumped me in 2012. I gained a lot of weight after. Met up with her again after two years. She hadn't aged a day. Still 105 lbs, still perfect skin and just beautiful. Crazy enough she still liked fat me. I was 50 lbs heavier (all fat, no muscle) but she was into me. Seeing her again was easily one of the best nights of my life. Went back to her place and she touched me all over as if I wasn't fat.

She'd disappear and reappear over the next two years. On the day before my 25th birthday she told me that she wanted to spend my birthday with me. I was so excited. This was serious. Spending my birthday with her was huge in my eyes. You spend your birthdays with those closest to you.

My birthday came and she didn't message me at all. Not even saying happy birthday is pretty much the exact opposite of being with someone on their birthday. It killed me.

Not long later she disappeared for good. Found out over her sister's snapchat that she was pregnant. Now she's a mother.

I understand that she's gone forever. But I wish I had a goodbye.

>>742731015
Alcohol. Holy shit I never thought I'd end up here but damn. I have to drink every evening after work or I get super antsy and get headaches.

>>742731015
games 1 week away from my time sink feels weird never knew how boring my life was til i took away my distraction

>>742734073
Oh, missed the best part. Before finding out she was pregnant I decided to lose the weight. Next time she appeared in my life I'd be ready. She likes thin guys from what I observed, so I knew that I had to lose the weight. I was gross. I did it. I lost the weight.

Still sad and lonely and hopeless. But I'm not fat.

addiction is a myth

>>742734384
Smoke crystal meth every day for 6 months then tell me that again.

The internet, probably.

My presence on this board speaks for itself in terms of where I am with this addiction.

Opiates.
Started with pills, pretty common story
Upgraded to heroin because half the price for twice the high
Been injecting daily for 2 years, use low dose oxy to get me through the day
Still have a stable job, make decent money
Heroin's the only part of my day I enjoy. I'm suprised that I function so welll but I know that would turn around real quick if I couldn't get a fix

>>742735410
How much does your addiction cost, what do you do for work, and how much do you make?

>>742735536
$300 a day, roughly
I'm an engineering consultant at a natural gas company. I make $75K a year

>>742734073
Sounds like she did you a favor. She set you free man. And I don't think she intentionally did that, or at least if she thought she did then she probably in her own fucked up way did.

I think it's time for you to take that "weight loss" and focus it on yourself. I think you just became invincible, I wanna say the same thing happened to me almost a year ago.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about her but with everything in my life that's happening right now, she wouldn't have supported, her family wouldn't have either. So I'm kinda glad she's gone. She was my best friend for almost 2 years and I do miss her dearly but I realize that she didn't really love me or else we'd still be together. That person was gone way before we even broke up.

Same with you, find a way to press into that and realize that nothing you do from this point forward has to be for her because she's chosen to cut herself off from you. You can be a better person for it. You can be the man you're supposed to be without her there to be an addiction or something to hold you back.

An addiction to another person is only every okay if they are just as addicted to you and your current self just as much as you are to them. It sounds like you have a lot of love and loyalty to offer. And yeah you might not be some alpha or something but you can still either find someone else who'll actually appreciate you for you, or find a way to be happy in loneliness. If she is maliciously cutting you off even, that's even better because you now have a reason to spite her even more. If you can better yourself for her ungratefulness by losing weight and that's still not good enough, then you can do more things for a more important person.. YOU.

I hope it works out for you anon, and I know how much it hurts letting this sort of thing go. And as bad as it does sting, you are right, you'll probably never see "her" again, but remember that you are still you and you need this right now.

>>742731015
Food
I'm losing

>>742731015
social media internet and the fucking shit that stops me from living amk

but i stoped weed and cigs and porn :)

Mainly weed. I've had success at abstaining for weeks but something ends up triggering heavy wax use usually. And Oxycodone 30mgs, the blues. Closest friend got that phat hookup on them, we starting smoking them (yes wasteful I know) then he got addicted and cut me off. I did about 90mg every week before he stopped and he cut me off of the blues. Now I just splurge on a script of 10mg pinks every month when they come in. Unfortunately we had also gotten 50mcg fent patches every month from a mutual friend, and as a result I am most likely probably possibly definitely 100% going to try and score one tomorrow.

>>742735709
That doesn't add up. Your addiction costs more than you make.

>>742734225
>>742732193
This. It's hard to go a night without creative lubricant. Drunk as fuck rn

addicted to posting my ex on here. I dont post nudes, but post a lot of nonnudes and get off on people asking for moar and the temptation to share more.

I should stop

>>742735739
Thanks. I'll try. I just feel like such a fuck-up

Smoking and drinking after five year of stop

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>>742737163
Btw this is me now. Took this the other day. I really want to get motivated to workout but honestly I'm closer to killing myself than I am to getting a gym membership

Smoking cigs. been smoking for like 8 years. I'm slowing down so thats fun. Everyone I know who smokes or did smoke just hates it. I hate it.

>>742736033
So why did u stop weed and porn

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Legit question here.

Why don't you guys just stop putting shit into your body if you know it's bad for you?

Like I get that it's a way to escape the depression and stuff, and habitual as well, but to be on opiates or boozing every night or whatever? I can't imagine it. I'm so fucking apathetic and depressed, I'm surprised I can function. I just made it a habit to keep bad shit out of my life and to do what I need to do without royally fucking myself over. I have a good job and I pay my bills and have money for toys and stuff but I have no social life, no friends, utterly alone and crushed since I got dumped five years ago and my life was ruined.... But I just slog along and keep going because I programmed myself to. Anyway, now I'm just rambling.

porn and beating my meat till i get indian burn

>>742731015
Alcohol. Drank before tonight's AA meeting and after.

Energy drinks and sugar. Been off energy drinks for around 5 days now, aint getting any more headaches. This is the first time ive been this long off them for about 3 years. Not gonna drink anymore, dont want anymore either. Stepping down on sugar as well. Feel like I dont need it, and it is just shit anyways. Still working on it tho, energy drinks must go first. Then sugar.

quit oxy, hydro, xans, alchol, acid, and all forms of thc straight up on january 11th, 3 days ago i started to attempt to not use social media or nicotine. Still think about my ex everyday and sometimes it gets so bad I go into a psychotic break for a lil bit

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>>742737991

Have about a half-pint of rum and you'll understand.

Things slip away, and a man can finally relax. Music becomes more important; art becomes more enjoyable. Everything becomes better. And if you start early enough, you can function just fine in the morning.

Don't talk to me until you've tried it. You can't understand otherwise. Hit a bar, and grab a pint right at the counter. You'll meet people whose experiences will make your life more interesting.

You said you don't understand why, and that's why. Is it great? Probably not. A man's got to die anyways, so why not go out having experienced as much bliss as possible? For a person without a family, the bottle is a tremendous substitute.

>>742737991
Health as motivation for change is one of the weakest ways to get people to change their ways. You need to bait someone with something immediate, like the nice appearance of teeth, skin and excess money in return for quiting smoking

I'm addicted to dick

I'M ADDICTED TO DICK!!!

porn that may or may not be illegal

>>742737484
what are you, 12? Lol you've got your whole damn life ahead of you. Don't get hung up on skirts, there are tons out there.

>>742738606
Wow man, I can't ever imagine battling even some of your demons. Mad respect.

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>>742738740
likewise, my last remaining addiction

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>>742733910
Nearly got me

>>742737991
People react differently to different things, and genetics are a factor.

My wife and i are both smokers and drinkers.

She can quit smoking on a whim and just not smoke for a few months and shell start again because she likes.menthols or some dumb reason. I cant go 3 hours without a cigarette before im flipping a goddamn table. I eventually quit with medical assistance/prescription drugs. I still want them and its been 2 years.


She has a drink daily and gets incredibly restless if she misses it, i drink heavily and ill decide one day on a whim im done and im off like nothing.

I have friends who cant stop smoking weed, and while im open to weed and even enjoy the high itself, im repulsed by it and mostly refuse because i just dont want it. That there is a great example of disposition by the way. I like it. Im fine with it. I dont want it.

We could get crazy complicated and start getting shit like how some peoples.brains have lowered dopamine production so anything that spikes it like nicotine becomes a fly trap, genetics, and plain self justification bias where no one really realises they actually have a problem because people are bias to themselves and count addictions as just one bad quality when everyone has bad qualities but thatll take threads...

You very well could be on my weed level but with everything. Youre simply repulsed. Its not necessarily a matter of being better or more in control, but a matter of youre just plain wired to stay away from it regardless of your feelings and understanding.

singing

>>742738869
Always thought that nigga had a pipe.

>>742734073
Damn, that sounds like a crazy time getting pulled around with emotions like that. Sorry to hear that anon. Glad to hear you were able to lose the fat, but I get that it still hurts fat or not.

Similar boat for me, being addicted to my ex. Dated girl for 3 years, she wanted us to get married. 1 month after her asking me to marry her, she breaks up with me "for good" out of nowhere and then suddenly gave me all these reasons that were never really talked about or seemed like issues at all. I kind of saw it coming because of her behaviors, but every time I tried to see what was wrong she would just push me away or say nothing was wrong. I think that was about 2 years ago, and I still get really pissed about it just about every day. People are really fucked up man.

The internet. It's been an on-off relationship throughout my life, but now I think I'm finally starting to get control. I'm getting really bored with social media, reddit (that place fucking sucks now that I realized it) and 4chan, I'm frustrated with life and I want to do more.

I just started gradually doing more shit in order to get away from the internet (doesn't have to be fun, like cooking, cleaning, going for walks/runs).

I still feel empty, but I guess its good because I'm finally confronting reality instead of avoiding it and hoping it'd go away if I read one more anon post.

>>742738806
It's not like that. I wanted to kill myself long before I met her. Just being with her made me forget why I hate living

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>>742731015
Sucking black cock.
Well altleast it don't take it in the poopshoot (jet).

>>742738814
thank you it means alot honestly. I just been getting really really into psychology, philosophy, and getting spiritual it turned my life completely around

>>742738856
what is it

Porn and weed basically

>>742739180
"porn that may or may not be illegal" they said

>>742739100
It might be painful now, but you now have the opportunity to face your demons without a distraction. Even your true love could never solve your own personal issues.

>>742739307
yeah i know. that was me. but i was wondering... what kind.

>>742739356
Ya, but I don't think I can ever fix what's wrong with me.

Porn, slowly but surely beating it away (pun intended)

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>>742738663
I have. Drinking doesn't really change me. I'm just dizzy and I fall asleep easier. No other changes. I already have no inhibitions so it doesn't help me socialize.

Same with any other drugs. Nothing makes me feel any different in the end.

I just would rather stay in control of my body as much as possible. And my biggest fear is not being able to end my life whenever I want to. I have no plan to, but eventually 15 or 20 years down the line I probably will.

Sometimes I think I'm addicted to the suffering of just hating life and everyone around me?

I had a short period of around one year in 2010-ish where everything was great, but that was it. I have no hopes of ever getting what I had at that time back again, and there's probably never going to be a chance to replace it... But there's always a slight chance it will all work out for me, and maybe the lower I fall now, the better everything will be if it ever improves? Perspective and such.

But there's been so many times I feel like quitting but I end up going ahead anyway. When I'm old and the loneliness hits its peak I'll quit though.

>>742734073
I've been there too anon. The best advice I can give is to pray to god and ask for the pain to stop. Cause it worked for me. I had exhausted every other option...

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>>742739452
there aren't that many. Give you a hint - it aint zoo or necro
ok maybe a bit of zoo

>>742739719
You sound like myself and yet someone I know at the same time. Weird.

>>742739719
Wow are you me? I'm told I don't act different no matter what drugs I'm on, and I typically don't feel different either other than a bit of the physical effects. Only had 1 bout of happiness when I was about 22 where I got good sleep, meditated, and expanded my perception and learned more about people and myself. It's all gone now. So short lived. I'll quit some day, too. Don't know why I've even bothered coming this far.

>>742740014
yeah me too... me too.

>>742734073
pics please

>>742731015
Nicotine gum and My Dew.

I've conquered multiple drug addictions
-Ritalin
-ecstacy
-hallucinogens
-cocaine
-RX pills
-opiates
-chewing tobacco

I can't stop chewing nicotine gum and drinking Mountain Dew. I love them shits!

>>742734384
try being addicted to cum, tough guy

>>742734327
Omfg grab a fucking tissue.. AND HAVE A FUCKING WANK AND GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD ON STRAIGHT PUPPET BOY... this is the last bit of power she has over you, she loved having it knowingly, if she knew u were like this, she would be laughing while riding her new hubby, thinking she's so fucking beautiful and smart to have your weapped around her finger puppet boi

I get lovesick sometimes, and i think back on exes, then i realize i comprise my happiness, nothing and noone can make me happy, it is a frame of mind, i know I'm fucking fantastic, so i hope for better while keep making moves to be the best

Bro, you had a good time with her, you learned a lot, respect that, but one foot in the past with ur ex, and one step in your bleak view of a future, how the fuck are you to walk in "the now" and meet ur future wife who treats you and looks at you like a fucking king, and her your queen bruuhhhhhh

tl;dr: c'est la vie, nut up or shuttup puppet boi

P.s this all comes from love and experience, i once also wore strings, little girls always want power, because they are tiny and don't get treated with someone in a position of power, they are always vying for control via mindgames: gaslighting, low blows, feining innocence with the big beautiful eyes.. sneaky little imps

>>742740484
My after weightloss pic is here
>>742737484
Unless you mean pics of her. Not going to post any

>>742736786
This is sad, see
>>742740616

>>742733648
Bad xanax?

>>742731015
Xbox.

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>>742731015
caffeine :^(

shit is hard to get off of

furry porn

>>742731015
I don't know what is up with me. I find it a struggle to form habits and do them consistently. Everything I do feels forced by myself, smoking weed is like brushing my teeth to me (it does not feel automatic). I broke my elbow once and got 60 oxycodones, had fun with them. My friends are all addicted to nicotine and at least habitual weed smokers. I enjoy it a lot but I can never do it at their rate. My one friend goes through 3.5grams every few days, it takes me over a month to do that if I am on my own. I have smoked cigarettes, hookahs, and vaped, all of it was very enjoyable but i never felt a compulsion to seek it out on my own. I bought a pack of cigs once and most of them went to other people. I feel in complete control and my life is going great., but I think after I am lut of school I will struggle if I am bounded to a routine. My sleep pattern is different almost every day.

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>>742740967

Benzos

Clean 1 month

i'm addicted to my ex lol just kidding i'm not that fucking weak

Going to church and reading the bible.

>>742740616
I'm a stupid piece of shit. I don't have the energy to date. I tried. It sucks. I hate it. So much effort. Especially online. Put so much work in just to get any woman, and I hate them all.

At this point it's hard to even imagine what I want in life. I guess winning $50 million and living in a mansion with a pool, partying, relaxing. I actually found a cute girl and quickly became close friends. I asked her out and she said no. She doesn't date. Hasn't for years, she told me she never would again. I don't know. I am so tired. I feel like shit. I just need something good to happen in my life to give me hope so I can continue on.

>>742741132

Why do you consider that an addiction, friend?

>>742741154
yeah you really do sound like a stupid piece of shit

>>742740505
same with the nicotine gum, i don't smoke anymore but now i have to chew the gum all the time lol, cool beans

>>742731015
I'm hooked on hydrocodone.
I gave up a long time ago. I would say I embrace it, but I don't fight it anymore. I'm starting to become really tolerant though so I have to take a bunch to get high. I'll robably have to switch to heroin soon. Then I'll probably die like the rest of my junkie family.

>>742732100
same brother but its all in your head is what i've realised. smoking every day had me fucked up with paranoia and that realisation is helping me quit. good luck stay strong

>>742741022
fuck it i am bored might as well light up

>>742740014
Needle nose plyers sneaky in back pocket blow to climax, as dude is about to bust (losing some control of bodily dunction, and sttength, and reaction to other events) GRAB DICK WITH PLYERS, RIP OFF, STAB WITH PLYERS, walk out

If locked feom other side, it's easy to chew through those bricks with a spoon

This ladies and gents, on top of boxing and muay thai training for 6years, is why i will never be raped, that and i roll deep with a bunch of drug deals with guns when i go out, and a knife isually if i have expensive jewellery on, lol knock on wood tho

>>742741268
Did you think I was lying?

My addiction is struggle and failure. I continuously make successful decisions, but im miserable. Only when im poor, hungry, and late on bills am i truly happy.

It sucks

>>742741464
protip - fake it til you make it

>>742741386
nice positive mindset!

>>742734623
What is it like withdrawing from meth? I'd imagine there a probably some intense physical effects aswell.

a lot of you guys are just pathetic wastes of life clearly

Everything....Alcohol for the longest. I had periods of going hard on certain things more then others. I had my blow days, got on and off herion, and went on several MDMA kicks quite a few seperate times over the years. Benzos, pain pills, adderall and pretty mucho any perception drug that can fuck you up I have abused. These days Cigs, alcohol, and kratom are my go to for right now, and always weed. I'd like to quit everything, but I do not ever plan on stopping blazing. I go periods of times where I'm not really drinking but then I go on benders, shits wild... that's definitely one thing I have never been able to control. Some people can have one, sometimes I can but other times there is no limit. Shit sucks. My parents both have struggled with drinking and other drugs over there lives. I lost my mom a few years back, I had already been going through my own issues and sense that happened I had gone down very dark paths multiple times in the time sense that happened. It sucks. I'm not a weak minded person by any means I quit heroin cold turkey...shit was the hardest and most painful detox from anything I had to ever endure..yet for some reason I could never get a grip on the booze

Anything to alter the way my mind or body is naturally. Found drugs and alcohol early in life, so sobriety isn't welcome. I'm also addicted to using people for my own pleasure and gain. I'm also an extreme masochist. I indulge in starvation, self mutilation, and sleep deprivation. My addictions run deep and my body will give out before I'm thirty, or so day the doctors. I'm 27 now.

>>742741560
I like this advice, but I don't even know what I want. I guess I want to be happy? So I should pretend to be happy? I'll give that a try.

>>742738930
Damn bro you've explained it better than i can. Ex junkie fag here. I completely envy the fact you covered so many factors in such a concise eloquent manner

>>742741676
jeez it is almost like some people turn to drugs to fill the void in their life

>>742741196
Never said it was a bad one.

>>742741539
I understand that addiction. It's very strange and confused the fuck out of me. When I tell others they just tell me to fuck off, which imo is the reasonable response. I don't know why I like challenge

>>742734073
Fucking get over it bruv...plenty of fish in the sea....I have had 2 long term relationships sense then quit dwelling wake the fuck up and do something dude

>>742731015
Currently doing way better but trying to get over the final stage of abstinence, i want to be in control so i can socially smoke weed or drink

I am big into fighting since i was young and have a lot of training, but lmfao 18yr old me would be PISSEDof he saw me running for my first time 8 in 4years today. Hot af and weight on my ankles, but no excuse, i thought i was going to die when i got in i didn't know how to male whatever the fu k was happening to my body go away, honestly top 5 feelings in my life time i can closely relate to what it feels like to almost die

2packs and 7gs a day will do that, oya and a 26r of booze for 6years

Currently on 2beers and a g a day, as of today, no weed and 2beers, tomorrow i start 1beer waning off

>>742741795
well if you are directionless then that is a problem. Find what you want and go towards it, or be content if you have it. Nothing inbetween.

Cocaine, I snort alone in my room because I promised everyone I love I was going to quit. My gf thinks I stopped snorting 8 months ago.

>>742742052
Get over and do what? Date? I hate dating. I tried, I just hate most women, even more, I hate who I am on dates. I'm not me. They always ask about my job. Ugh. I've had this same conversation 127 times.

I just don't really like anything. I like sitting around the house playing video games, but even that I sometimes hate. I want to like myself, but I don't and I don't think I can change my mind.

>>742731015
Smoking pot since i was 16 on and off.
Quit for a few months and recently started back up.

>>742741154
>I get lovesick sometimes, and i think back on exes, then i realize i comprise my happiness, nothing and noone can make me happy, it is a frame of mind, i know I'm fucking fantastic, so i hope for better while keep making moves to be the best

You just don't care for, or love yourself. When i was at my worst, everyday I'd look in the mirror and just degrade every part of my existence, "fuckin loser faggot ass bitch" I'd say, drunk as fuck.

Honestly just quit my career that literally gave me the lifestyle you think would make you happy, roughly, i still had to work really hard, maybe if i had all the nice things and didn't have to worl so hard anymore, I'd have been happy

Regardless, my job itself didn't make me happy, i spend the majority of my life there basically and i hate it, silly i thought, so i just up and quit my career. YOLO

Honestly i haven't been this happy (or even happy) in a long time, or have more respect for myself than i have now, working towards what I want and not just doing things because it's what is socially expected. Ive currently put a relationship on the back burner till I'm on a clear path to my undeniably blissful future

>>742742742
Put relationships*

Technically i could be in a relationship with this one chick, but she got fat and needs to pull that shit RIGHT BACK, otherwise she's like everything i want in a chick
>inb4 settle
fucking beta ass bitch ass nigga ass bitch

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>>742731015
is it money? is it girls? is it weed?

>>742731015
I am addicted to lolis. I am not even fighting back anymore

>>742731015
I am addicted to learning. I know three languages, and I love msth, philosophy, and reading in general.

>>742742546
Addiction
pot
lol

I've become stuck to the reality that people my age (15-20) are actually fucking stupid. I stopped looking for romance because they're all the same, it all ends the same, it all goes the same way, so stop trying. All your effort and motivation eventually leads to your death, so why give a care in the world. What's it worth, y'know. Not to be all shitty and existential, or even rude and full of myself, but it seems like everyone's so dull. I don't know what to do at this point.

Sex Addict

have fucked 4 different girls in 5 days.

>>742743469
Hast du Deutsch gelernt?

>>742743947
nein

>>742743742
ahh you sound like me when I was 13. Find a purpose and meaning in life I promise you it is much more fulfilling. Only after you have lost everything you can do anything, start from scratch.

>>742743469
I made this post, but I want to add, Mandarin is like crack for my brain. There are so many symbols and things to learn, the radicals are cool as hell.

>>742731015
Caffeine and wearing diapers.

Thanks man, /b/ isn't as bad as I thought.

>>742743305
just lolis? suuuuure.