I was a victim of child porn from the ages of 10-13. I am now

>>742645396
do you have your own films/pics? then pls post them

>>742645724
I do not. The family member who took them probably still has them.

homo or no homo?

>>742645823
no homo

>>742645396
Male or female?

>>742645787
your mom?

I was 13 and was a prostitute for older daddy types with strangers.
Turned out fine, loved it, and made money outta it. OP, you'll be fine.

Pics or it didn't happen

>>742645396
Did you ever enjoy it while it happened? was it something that happened often like a routine or just a random casual event?

>>742646045
>Turned out fine
You're here so that's debatable.

How did it start?

>>742645952
I am female.

>>742645979
Dad.

>>742645396
>The stories and information posted here are autistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>742645396
i had something similar happen to me when i was age 3-4. it doesn't bother me at all though possibly just because it was so young. do you find it difficult to cope with on a day to day basis? also is it difficult to have relationships with people now?

>>742646292
What sort of stuff did you do?

>>742646140
This

>>742646259
I lol'd hard. We all have reasons, diff reasons, for being on 4chan.
Yeah I was messed on when I was younger, but everyone is different. I loved it when I got old dudes on me. No regrets. I'd imagine if it was forced, that's fucked up.
I had a cousin who tried to force me / rape me. We kicked him out of the family tree.

>>742646045
After i found the first camera i begged for there to be no more. Several cameras later, i obviously wasnt successful. I was forced to masturbate in front of my father. Not the same thing as being 13 and choosing to fuck. Although i appreciate the "its going to be ok" sentiment please dont pretend you know how i feel about it.

>>742646353
/thread
No one reads the fuckin rules anymore.

>>742646140
It was mostly videos but i dont have any of those in my posession. If you dont have questions gtfo

>>742645396
Was it penatrative sex? Was it violent? How does it feel knowing that I would probably masturbate whilst watching it?

>>742646159
When it first happened there was a big break before the second occurrence. Guess he got cold feet. But after the second time it became routine from that point forward. I was under what i now know was conditioning of "its not hurting anyone so its not wrong" and although i hated it and felt guilty, shameful, and dirty there was an aspect of the attention and being wanted that seemed positive at the time.

>>742646290
Found a camera in my closet, confronted dad and he decided to use that as an introduction to it no longer being a secret of his and he became the director.

>>742646875
pedo dad should get shot.

>>742646353
Ok? And? Applies to every fucking thread now doesnt it? Doesnt stop your dumb ass from reading it. Move along kid

>>742646354
I do find it difficult. I have a gnawing paranoia that i am being recorded at all times especially in rooms such as bathrooms or when spending the night anywhere. I know the satisfaction i feel when im turning on a partner now isnt healthy, i feed off of it and my self esteem relies on it.

>>742646361
Mostly masturbation.

>>742645396
Admit it, you liked daddy's cock inside you.

>>742646472
No regrets and you werent forced. Yeah, you have no right to tell me im gonna be ok simply because you are.

>>742646529
My apologies then!

>>742646875
Why did you not tell anyone? Or record him getting all close and stuff?

>>742647128
Did you ever masturbate him?

>>742646630
There was only one time there was penetration but it hurt too bad and he apparently had enough of a heart to stop it right there and just do our normal gig. Knowing youd masturbate to it kills me because that is the whole reason it is produced and without people like you who enjoy it my last years of childhood may have been spared.

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>>742647176
Yup, thats why im a totally normal and healthy functioning adult on /b/

>>742646292
You know the rules.

>>742647218
>>742647218
Told my mom and she didnt believe me. As i said im in my late 20s so this was in the 90s, cam corders were the rage and everything was on tape. I didnt have anything to record with. The one camera i brought to my mom my dad took the tape and ripped out the ribbon, said he was doing it to make sure i was safe in my room and that he destroyed it to prove it meant nothing. I know that makes no sense but my mom believed it and i was too young to present a real case about it. It was swept under the rug after that and i dont have the energy or willingness to stir anything back up when theres no chance of closure no matter what happens to him.

>>742647319
Was he circumcised? Did you ever voice your objection to it whilst it was being filmed? Did you cry while he was trying to penetrate you? How sexually developed were you when it started?

>>742647234
Yes.

>>742647319
I'm sorry but i find the sexual abuse and humiliation of a child extremely arousing. It isn't just the fact that there is no consent it is the fact that it is causing both physical and mental trauma that excites me.

>>742647817
Yes. I did object but he would reiterate how it feels good right? No ones actually hurt, right? Its insane how you can be so far conditioned and not know it when its happening. I trusted him. I felt special because of it.

>>742647051
would you mind further explaining that second part? what exactly are you feeding off of?

must be difficult but just remember you're not the only one out there.

>>742648064
Has it resulted in you having an aversion to intimacy in adulthood or has the opposite occured?

>>742647051
Have you ever considered or sought professional help?

>>742647972
I guess you cant help what youre turned on by but you can help what you do so i hope those desires stay in your brain only and arent expressed

>>742648064
Had you developed breasts or had your vulva started to mature when he began to make you masturbate?

>>742648325
good question

>>742647319
What has happened to the human race in the western world?
Have they just turned into scam-machines for welfare and/or pity and attention?
>my life was so rough, please feel bad for me. I had to give myself pleasure, I am scarred for life.

Christ people here are entitled.
You did not have a tough time, countless of girls in other parts of the world have REAL problems, and still deal and move on with their lives. You know why? Because they fucking have to, and can't just sit back, cry to their shrinks and anyone who would give a shit, because surprise surprise, nobody does give a shit.

>but but, people are different, I am not strong like they must be.

Exactly why you would have been left behind to die in the past, not fit to survive.

Now we learned to cure the people that should have died long ago, help the shits that can't take care of themselves and pamper them - and for what? An overpopulated planet heading for self-destruction since we can no longer sustain ourselves going forward.

Thanks, OP. You are what's wrong with our planet.

>>742648307
Oh hell yea. I know what gets me off is completely fucked up. I would never act on the impulse, I dont even view child pornography because I know that what turns me on literally destroys lives. My mental fantasies are as far as it goes.

>>742647817
>Was he circumcised?
Nigga what

>>742648139
How much i rule them in that moment. How powerful it feels to give someone such pleasure. That they fucking love me in that moment. That their mind is cleared of other thoughts, its all about how im making them feel. I feel worthless if i cant provide sexual satisfaction to a male. Its the only time i feel good about myself or beautiful. Ive never thought deep about it because i normally do everything to keep myself from thinking about it.

>>742648447
Fucking saved, lol!

>>742648447
Down in the pasta box it goes

>>742648208
The complete opposite. Intimacy is all i really feel. If im not able to achieve it through sex i will abuse drugs so i can feel something

>>742648292
I need it so bad but i cant afford it

>>742647972
Serious question. What led you to this? What happened when you were young?

>>742648816
>I am a whore and a slut
>I abuse drugs
>but it's okay, I masturbated when I was younger

>>742648325
My breasts were doing the weird puffy nipple thing the first time it happened. No idea about down there because at that point i still thought it was a slit i peed from with a spot at the top that felt good when rubbed. I didnt even comprehend there was a hole down there until i learned from what he did

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i came to this thread

please send help

Do kids REALLY like the taste of Cinnamon Crunch or is that merely a ruse so their parents aren't upset by it?

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>>742648447

>>742645396
What does your dad do now? Do you even talk to him? Sorry if already answered.

>>742648447
Im not entitled. I work for every god damn thing i have, and have since the day i was 14 and could work. I moved out the night i turned 18 and have supported myself since. Ive had to move on, albeit with psychological trauma. I figured people would have questions on this, I don't ever hear anyone else in my shoes share their story. Get over your butthurt, sorry you feel you have invalidated pain but trust me i dont need the "there are others going through worse" lecture. I never got to sit back. I never saw a shrink. If yiu have questions i will answer them but other than that you should get over yourself. Hope your dick feels bigger.

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>>742645396
>victim
Why is nobody proud of this shit? Swear to god this world is full of whiners bitching about their successes.

Are you overweight now?

Do you masturbate and think about what happened?

>>742648470
Well then i have to say i appreciate you and wish others with similar thoughts to yours could make the same decision. Thanks for not being 100% a piece of shit.

>>742648950
lmao, not everything has environmental causes

>>742649003
Pretty much. It is what it is. Im just here to answer questions.

>>742649266
Youre disgusting.

>>742649280
They really do like it.

>>742649592
Am I just really tired or was that a puzzle of an answer I need to figure out? I was looking more for something like, "He sells cigarettes and no I don't. "

>>742645396
How is your relationship with your father now?

>>742649488
Trapped in a labor job at an old age and i do talk to him

>>742648950
Nothing thag I know of led to this. I have always liked that sort of thing, women/girls who are causing or having permanent damage inflicted upon them.

>>742649552
Im on the higher end of the healthy range for my height.

>>742649065
How did what he do make you realise you had a hole? Was it when he tried to penetrate you? What drugs do you abuse?

>>742649552
And no i dont

>>742649941
Hmmm... well, you intrigue me. I don't know why? Maybe I just want to figure you out... I dunno?

Are you pretty much open for any man that touches you now or do you consciously choose partners?

>>742649880
Incredibly awkward but i cant help but still care for him because in all other aspects he is a good man. I mostly view him as a mian who is just very sick.

>>742649935
He doesn't deserve to have you speak to him, but that's pretty noble of you, I guess.
What about You? What do you do?

>>742650126
Sorry, I have no idea why. I remember when I was younger watching a young woman smoke and thinking it was sexy that she was killing herself and ruining her lungs. When I found out about female genital mutilation it excited me that abgirls sex organs were damaged.

>>742650076
Exactly. I had never looked at myself down there prior. I knew one pee pee went in another pee pee for sex but i literally thought it slid up and down the slit and diidnt actually go inside (because i was unaware of an inside in the first place).
Ive experimented with a lot of them but when it comes to actual substance abuse its mostly taking turns between cocaine and benzos (klonopin, xanax, etc.) And i of course smoke weed everyday.

>>742648848
There are ways you can seek help without massive financial burdens depending on where you live. Please, for your own sake, look into it.

>>742650268
Pretty much open although i do have certain standards

>>742650300
Im a completely replaceable office person but ive been there reliably for years so i make okay money.

>>742650320
So it really just was that way from the get go for you? Very interesting

>>742645396
Do you think that you wouldn`t have been abused if there was no market for cp / if no one would watch it?

>>742650706
Why did he stop? Has he ever apologized? I love drugged girls

>>742649494
Did she really take that poor bait so easily?

>>742649497
This!

>>742650985
Yes pretty much. I guess my brain was wired a bit fucked in the fetish department

>>742650990
You know, i like to tell myself that. But I think eventually something would have happened, even if it wasnt something big. However i dont think it would have been something that was routine or to the extent that it was without the market for cp fueling the timing.

>>742650295
Oh. So the thread was bait all along, thought it was interesting for a min.

>>742650991
Im not sure why he stopped to be honest. It just reached a point where the next time never came. I probably got too old for him and i never realized that until now. In the sexual sense, and in the sense that i was harder to continue brainwashing. Also entering middle school where id probably be introduced to the notion of telling an adult when something like thar happened.

>>742650991
Also might i ask why you love drugged girls?

>>742646529
> n-n-no one know how *i* feel
go fuck yourself stupid cunt

>>742651193
I can guarantee it is not bait. Just something that happened in a time before smart phones and social media, when families really did just keep their shit hush hush. Hes probably tried to be a good man to make up for it if im honest with you.

>>742648447
this guy knows all! well put

>>742650320
Goddamnit, now I'm even further intrigued. Do you , in any way, despise women? Other than what we're already talking about.

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>>742651506
>>742651506
Why are you in an AMA thread if you dont want to hear how i feel? Lol but im the cunt, k gotcha

>>742645396
stop whining, at least you fucked. Egoist cunt !

>>742651391
>>742651635
I like the way a drugged girl is in a position to abused. It also has the whole addiction/self destruction aspect.
I dont hate women, I'm actually happily married and am pretty well adjusted. I am able to keep my fetishes in my mind because I know that to act on them would be wrong.

>>742645396
Did you ever get intense feelings of wanting to harm yourself in fits of anger? Not cutting I guess, but just wanting to cause pain that leaves some kind of harm to yourself? Or being attracted to making scars? And assuming you're adult now... Do you find yourself wishing you could have someone make you feel like you're not used up?

>>742650929
You didn't say anything about my dubs, but I can excuse that.
Have you ever told any of your close friends? Boyfriends? If so, did they just give you the whole "That's sad, I'm sorry bullshit?"

>>742651977
Yeah makes sense i suppose. Good on you for that

>>742651761
but you don't how i feel about this thread, so i can reject your statements in any way i like. sorry, but you just don't know how i feel so fuck you. go celebrate your victimhood for attention on tumblr where people give a fuck.

Maybe he just moved on since you were to "old". Got someone else. Ever think of that?

>>742651981
Absolutely, and often. I have a hard time giving a fuck about safety most of the time and am self destructive in almost all of my habits. I do wish i could find that person. I do everything i can to fill this void but its the one thing thats never left me

>>742652068
Lol what the fuck do you say in that situation? You just let them speak and try not to ask inappropriate questions. You saw how this chick reacted when someone who claimed to go through the same thing said "you'll be ok"

Might as well pretend you didnt hear it and move on. Because emphasizing will be impossible and even if you could she'd have most likely made up how she feels on the subject.

>>742651977
"Intrigued " guy here. Let's say hypothetically you wouldn't get caught... would you walk by a girl at a bar, slip a date rape drug in her drink and then leave. All the while feeling that excitement of the opportunities you opened up for things to happen to her?

>>742652068
There is one friend who knows, solely because they were molested as a child and in a moment of foolish trust i revealed my own problems. Ive told one boyfriend but he literally started treating me differently as if something about me changed to him and that hurt very badly.

>>742652466
I've tried desperately to stay away from being self destructive but I feel like I'm attracted to people who want to be self destructive... So I'm self destructive that way I guess. How do you deal with the intense feelings when you need pain? Is it better to get a partner do it for you?

>>742645396
Name start with an S?

>>742652559
No. Morally I wouldn't do it. My fantasies of destroying a woman both physically and mentally would result in severe trauma and I would not be willing to subject someone to it.

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>>742652149
"I dont care how you feel"
>Then why are you in a thread about how i feel?
"Because you dont know how i feel"

>>742652401
Yup that is what i think.

>>742645396
I was sexually abused, but I'm a male, and it was for 6 months in kindegarten.

Teacher was like 40 years old and female. Used to abuse me mentally by privately abusing me. I can't remember all of it, but one of the things she used to do is find ways to discreetly throw away my bagged lunches every day. She would often do things like spill water on my pants, bring me to the bathroom claiming I'd wet myself, and touch me in the boy's bathroom while pretending to clean me up. I can't remember the mean stuff she said to me, but it did fuck me up. She just tried to find a lot of ways to isolate me and abuse me or otherwise embarrass me in front of my classmates.

I have this weird problem now where I somewhat hoard food. I can't not finish a meal. Regardless of what is set in front of me, I will finish all of it, even if I'm full. I've never had leftovers my entire life. 29 now.

>>742652701
That's actually the reason I asked. If it were me, I probably wouldn't tell a boyfriend. A solid 9 out of 10 of them wouldn't be able to maturely process it. Back to questions. So, if you can't afford therapy, have you ever sat in on any support groups?

>>742645396
pics now and then.
or it didint happen.

>>742645396
Now that your sexuality has been tainted, when do you plan on killing yourself since you'll never find a husband?

>>742652915
So it was never love just the physical attraction? Or the idea of it

>>742652795
I either distract myself by going up or cover it up by going down depending on the drugs i can get my hands on. It does help to have others inflict it on me. One of my fetishes now is to be bound and harmed

>>742652858
Nope.

>>742652875
My friend, you are a Chinese algebra problem. I can't figure you out. I wish we we were buds so I could analyze you further. So, in my hypothetical question... would you like to be the guy sitting across the room seeing a girl get drugged?

>>742653150
Hey baby....

>>742652979
We're around the same age and i really feel for you. Its fucked how these things shape us as people later. Im sorry to hear about the food fixation. I to this day check rooms for cameras the second im alone in them at friends houses, public bathrooms, etc. Shit sucks.

>>742653307
I would be uncomfortable but aroused and excited.

>>742653011
Yeah i learned my lesson, not telling anyone in real life ever again. I never knew sitting in on sessions was something you could do?

>>742653059
Before 30.

>>742653307
What he said is actually how most people with health fetishes feel
It's called "fantasy" for a reason

>>742653428
Ok. What kind of porn do you prefer?

>>742653064
It was probably physical attraction mixed with the forbidden aspect.

>>742653497
Na don't do that. What country you in?

>>742653497
Why, what's so bad about what happened?

>>742653354
Hey there.

>>742653563
US

>>742653522
Honestly? I steer clear of anything like CP. I have viewed the odd rape video but it is staged.

>>742653567
I feel forever tainted and unless i can find someone to experience real love with i dont see the point in existing at 30+ alone and still using drugs

>>742653150
I can't go to drugs. Weed, alcohol. In moderation. I'm sorry you need such extreme releases like that, have you found any methods to stay in the light of more loving or caring feels? My issue is never feeling fulfilled and super alone

>>742653468
I'll be honest, I live in a small town where something like this, if it happened, would definitely be kept secret. We have no support groups. I was thinking of Fight Club and the group's he sat-in on. I'm SURE you could find something online, though. I'm not trying to be some kind of white knight. Just saying.
So, do You consider kids of your own?

>>742653682
Please dont off yourself. Move to Australia, get a dog, learn russian, study nuclear physics. Do anyhting but kill yourself

>>742653764
>forever tainted
but why? that seems a little dramatic. surely your life is more important that your sexual worth?

>>742653497
yo killin yoself is whack

>>742653710
But if you knew it was real, you'd enjoy it?
And I certainly wasn't implying CP. Had you mentioned a liking for that, I wouldn't be neither intrigued or talking to you.

Have you ever seen a therapist or psychologist? You obviously have issues.

>>742653769
I have but you and i share that in common - never feeling fulfilled. Happiness is but a fleeting feeling that hardly seems worth the rest of it. I know the trick is to become happy as our unadulterated selves but the will to try is an elusive bitch. Music and weed i have to say are the healthiest outlets i have and i do have a few really good friends. What about you, what do you do to cope?

>>742653794
Well i appreciate the thought, really. I do not. I dont wish the possibility of mental illness passing along, nor do i trust myself to not create another eventually fucked up adult in society.

>>742653838
Haha well when you put it that way.

>>742653882
>life more than sexual worth
This very topic is where my brain was distorted at 10 years old. I mean... is it? Really? You sure?

>>742653993
No because i cant afford it.

>>742654257
(I'm not that anon) i think all humans are fucked up tbqh. but rearing a family is not for everyone. i'm mostly un-fucked-up and i still don't want kids.

but you shouldn't kill urself OP. the world is a big place and you should discover it. anything would be better than dying miserable, so why not live?

>>742654431
Have you ever looked into it?

>>742654257
What Mental illness? (I've only read the questions of mine that you've answered. Too many dumb fucks in this thread to read through everything.)
Who knows, maybe bringing a child into your life would bring hope you didn't know was there anymore. Maybe not. But there are a lot of maybes. So then, what are your long-term plans for the future?

>>742646771
Damn that sounds all kinds of psychologically fucked up

>>742654548
True i guess. Part of it also is that im so full trying to handle my own shit i cant possibly be responsible for another life.
Ive just felt so off and not quite right/different about it my whole life and its leaked into every aspect of trying to form healthy relationships but i dont want to die alone. Youre right though. I have freedom now that i did not have as a child. I should do whatever the fuck i want and stop living in the past. Just not sure what the first step is for that.

>>742654559
Only a little but then it makes me so anxious that i turn to my easier options for shutting off the thoughts

>>742654714
Well i mean im obviously fucked up because of my dad and he was obviously fucked up because of someone else. I want the cycle to stop. Although id be lying if i said the prospect of giving a child the love i wish i had had seems pretty damn fulfilling it also sounds like an incredibly selfish reason to breed life.

>>742654187
Not much. Weed and music is amazing, I'd like to try drawing while high or clay lol but mostly I keep running in to the problem of never having real honesty with someone, real connection. I've heard people say this and thought they're assholes but now I understand/have become said asshole and I didn't know it's what I needed until late twenties. Since then in my life it's been search and.... More search.

>>742655126
Then the only person to blame is you at this point.

how does what happened to you then have anything to do what what you do today or tomorrow? your choosing to be a victim.

>>742647319
We all have to lose our innocence sometime. Seems to me you're being a whiny bitch despite getting off easy. A dozen people are sold in human sex trafficking every day and your dad actually cared about you, if only a little, despite being a sick fuck. Honestly, count your fucking blessings

>>742655285
>dont tell partner
>feel theyll never really know all of you
>lack of trust

Or

>tell partner
>feel theyll never look at you the same no matter what they say
>lack of trust

Unfortunately it looks like we're screwed in the connection department. Im searching too if that makes you feel better.

>>742654374
Dug yourself too deep into your hole of lies and bait now. Losing interest

>>742655067
> I have freedom now that i did not have as a child. I should do whatever the fuck i want and stop living in the past. Just not sure what the first step is for that.

i feel you on that. i'm in between jobs and feeling this sense of "i know life doesn't suck but it really seems like it does so i'm not even gonna try to enjoy it" lately. But i heard somewhere that the best first step is just whichever step comes before the second step. meaning, there's no wrong choices out there. you can learn a language that nobody in your country can speak but it's not a waste of time. just think of all the other things in the world that are even a little more useful than that and you'll find your next step before too long.

How big was your dad's dick?

>>742650295
He probably got buttfucked too tbh

>>742655442
>>742655442
I wont pretend i dont have responsibility now as an adult. I blame myself too. But these are the mechanisms my brain has developed for coping due to those circumstances.

>>742654431
>can't afford professional help
>drowns self in drugs

Aha...

>>742655495
Thats a question i ask myself every day man.

>>742655552
Aye aye cap'n

>>742655836
Exactly. She needs to get her priorities straight.

>>742647795
Never underestimate the power of denial.
Your mom was weak, and didn't want to go through the nightmare that would be turning your dad in as a pedophile and/or a divorce stemming from the knowledge.
Do you hate/resent her for that?

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>>742655728

>>742655762
i didn't have to mention the job thing but basically its this dissonance where i don't know where to derive self worth from without working. it's totally different from what you got going on but its similar just that there's an uncertainty about self worth.

>>742655829
>due to those circumstances
You are being way too fucking dramatic. What happened to you was nothing - sure it sucks, but nothing that explains who you are now.
You are using it as an excuse to be a lowlife in society, pathetic. Not even trying to get help, face it, you don't want to - and more to the point, deep down you know you don't need it.
This "traumatic" experience of yours has become nothing than an excuse

>>742655762
Good advice, same to you anon good luck

>>742654374
>not sure if bait
there's plenty of beta cucks who would gladly hold your baggage

For years I used to fuck my 9 to 13-year-old niece. She once told me "I don't want to do that any more"', I told her, "fine'" and that was the end of it... but I really wanted to continue.

>>742648667
Yikes. Are you an addict or alcoholic?

>>742645396
What does "ama" mean?

>>742655836
>>742655990
Youve got me there, old habits die hard

>>742645396
>why does my spaghettios keep making lightning?

>>742648447
So what exactly is ur point?She has the right to have mental trauma,all women that have experience that Should ,and there wasn't enought info for u to deduct all of that.u ignorant piece of shit.

>>742655992
Honestly i do resent her for it but it makes me feel bad that i bear any ill will towards her

>>742656155
Ask me anything

>>742649935
Holy shit what is the chemistry like between you two?
My sister in law disowned her dad when he plead guilty to murdering someone she didn't even know, and my wife doesn't really talk to him either.

>>742656041
I dont see how im a lowlife in society. As ive said, i carry a steady job and have for years, i support myself without any outside help and have for years, and my drug use is a secret to those in my life who arent also involved

>>742656103
What do you mean?

>>742645396
Lmao there is a reason victim is used as an insult in my language. Become more than your victimhood, loser

>>742656208
Just don't bite man, don't bite...

>>742656134
How old is she now? Is she a stable adult? Do you still talk to her? Do you ever feel bad about it?

>>742656366
Do you like butt stuff?

>>742656403
I mean that if you think your sexually worthless, you're mistaken.

Bridgette my cosmic ghost get out of this thread

>>742655853
you ask yourself why you make the same mistakes because your ashamed... do things your proud of instead.

>>742656173
What are you afraid of? What's stopping you from trying to get better? I'm getting a sense of some kind of.... masochism. Do you actually *want* to get better?

>>742656483
also curious

>>742656366
>drug use is a secret
Trust me, no, no it isn't. All "secret" addicts think the same. But anyone with a functioning brain knows

>>742656448
She's fifty now. Fairly stable. I don't feel bad about it, shit was great!

>>742656443
Your language sounds awesome - what is it?

>>742656194
ANSWER THE POOR MAN'S QUESTION!

>>742656141
I dont consider myself an actual addict but by a lot of definitions anons on here will say i am.

>>742652701
He realized you're damaged goods

>>742656656
take the spoon out before microwaving

>>742656513
I do. I really do. I honestly dont think i deserve it.

>>742655821
Now this are the question that matter

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>>742647319
Than why are you sharing thot? Unless you get off on the pity I do not understand why you would be sharing this on a platform compromised entirely out of sick fucks who get off on this kind of thing. Nobody feels bad for you now show your tits or GTFO

>>742656194
Take the foil off

>>742645396
ever considered killing your father? does he show any remorse for his actions?

>>742650320
Well you sound like a fucking psychopath.

>>742656351
Awkward to say the least. We both try to pretend it didnt happen.

>>742651350
Funny how they would never instruct children to defend themselves in these situations until it's far too late

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>>742656807
No foil, that would keep it safe from telepathy, seran wrap only
>>742656727
I need the spoon to eat it, dingwad

>>742656483
Not at all even after giving it a good shot

What's your endgame OP

>>742656713
It would appear so.

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ITT retards fall for larping horseshit

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>>742656208
Kys white knight piece of shit

OP i followed ur thread and asked questions. you delivered on those questions. i don't have anything to say that would benefit either of us so i'm going to peace out.

good luck out there, and keep ya head up

>>742648064
Believe it or not I am one of the few people on this thread that isnt a complete savage so my question to you is: Would you say the long term mental effects of sexual abuse are still present within you?


(sorry for the run on sentence)

>>742656757
Have you ever thought about group therapy? You aren't alone, there are a lot of people going through the same cycle of self-loathing and drug abuse. It could give you some perspective on your situation and it's cheaper than seeing a therapist one on one.

>>742656814
I havent. He doesnt.

>>742657001
Thanks i appreciate it

>>742652701
What did your friend do to betray your trust?

ever see the tapes online? if so where? if not have you ever watched them?

>>742656938
>too late
as in lifes over?

funny how people pity these people who pity themselves

some people are fighters and some just take it.. its nature. this bitch hasn't been molested in ages and shes still taking it. she will never be a fighter.

>>742657008
I would say so yes and i wish it wasn't

>>742657040
loveoverwhelming@gmail
She might be able to help pay for your therapy.

>>742657010
A few people brought that up now. I never considered it as an option but im going to look into it.

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>>742656994

>>742657161
what makes you say that the demand for cp fuelled your abuse? did he sell the films?

I am a psychologist entailing an ivy league background and connection. I need you to answer my questions. Did the abuse start before you had hair on your pussy or after and did you ever orgasm at that age? This is solely for research purposes.

>>742657216
Please do so. The first step towards recovery is always the hardest.

>>742646292
>tits
or
>GTFO

>>742657256
kek

>>742657193
>loveoverwhelming@gmail
also recommend. i love that guy

>>742657256
im glad we finally have a professional in the thread.

>>742656949
That's a shame, it's pretty hot.
But for real, you'll be okay.
And I don't mean any platitude, no silver lining. Nothing just gets better, but you do. You're bigger than your problem, and you can continue to grow. It may have been poisonous, left lasting trauma, but you'll keep moving on.
Or you won't, and it'll consume and destroy you.
But you've made it this far, right? You're talking about it, rolling the idea around in your mind competently, in relative control amidst this forum's shitstorm. Every day, every cell in your body just moving forward. You have to do it every day, but you get to do it every day. Just don't give up.

>>742657133
I havent and i hope i never do. I dont venture anywhere near that shit so i dont see that happening thank god

>>742657289
>The first step towards recovery is always the hardest.
nice platitude, spoken like a man whose never tried to overcome mental trauma

Tits or gtfo

>>742645396
Tits or gtfo.

>>742646529
thats fucking hot

post your pics

Post tits

>>742657244
It was just a logical conclusion that he must have, i dont know for sure.

>>742652915
So you actually think you may have contributed to the abuse of another child by not coming forward? Effectively protecting him? Whew, you must be all kinds of fucked up. That kind of guilt would definitely have pushed me over the edge into suicide years ago.

>>742657364
>mental trauma
found the feminist

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>>742657256
>ivy league degree
>pussy
holy fucking kek

>>742657161
Its just overall a (for lack of a more dramatic word) shitty situation. It really makes me feel bad for you. If I knew you irl I'd try and help out the best way possible and of course throw a few weed dollars your way.

>>742647212
>My apologies then!

Doth your armor shine any brighter my liege?

>>742648447

>just spent an hour crying over the fact he can't get a girlfriend in a feels thread

>>742657415
In that case I think there's a good chance he kept them to himself.

>>742657346
This

>>742657422
rude

>>742657364
Not mental trauma, but mental illness. Anxiety and the fear of all you're used to changing is enough to deter alot of people from getting help.

>>742657355
ty for the answer. one more please? why here? why AMA this in a place known for being CP friendly?

>>742653764
How about you learn to love yourself first OP

>>742648667
Do you ever worry they are lying to You? That you are not in fact the thing getting them off? That instead they are imagining someone else or something else? Perhaps you aren't what they want at all but you are the best they could do or they just don't want to hurt you?

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>>742648447
U mad bro ?

OP post tits now

>>742657541
Did you really find the first step the most difficult?

>>742657575
Because attention, duh. This person made this thread not for advice, but so you can just ask questions. Sounds like someone's playing the victim card and feeding off of attention.

>>742657256
She had no hair on her lollipop when she was masturbatinh herself and her daddy while she was a pornstar....

>>742657575
The one place i can get unfiltered answers by people who arent shocked and apalled at the mention of CP. People who actually are telling me its not THAT fucked up and are able to actually discuss it. Thats why i chose here.

Tits or this is all bait

>>742657649
>like all women

>>742653428
If that ever happened to.you, I think that would be the moment when you cross the threshhold and your morals/guilt that hold you back.would slowly begin to dissolve.and you'd become a predator. Kemper and Dahmer struggled with.guilt too. I think you need to seek professional help.

Don't forget you're on /b so most faggots here will actually be turned on by this and will fail to show their sympathy and instead ask for the vids. I do truly feel sorry tho and I hope one day you will concur your pain without the use of drugs. You can do it, you are a very strong woman from what I've read. Don't destroy your own live more than your dad already has, good luck.

>>742657649
Everyone likes attention, but it sounds like OP is considering group therapy thanks to the thread, so I think /b/ and OP did something good today despite assholes like yourself.

>>742657649
/thread
Now post tits

Titss

>>742657609
Crosses my mind but doesnt stay there long

>>742657702
If you're not into cp why did you click? Basic white knightness?

Check

Post tits.

>>742657649
there are other reason besides attention. please go to bed..the grown ups are talking.

I'm sorry

>>742657763
Did you masturbate before your dad made you do it while filming? Did you masturbate only while being filmed? At what age did you lose your virginity?

>>742657649
Mostly its that ive never seen anyone with a similar experience share anything about it so im sure there are people who are curious and in some way sharing it does help

>>742657836
No he's right. OP is an attention whore

>>742657645
In my case it was. I was diagnosed with manic depression about 5 years ago. I've lived that way my entire life and knowing that my entire being, personality, thoughts, opinions, and feelings were about to change was a terrifying thought. I thought my individuality as a person was going to diminish. I thought my problems were what made me special. I thought they were what made me, me I thought of it this way to cope with my problems instead of facing them. Some kind of justification I guess.

>>742657876
Tits when?

>>742653882
She's mentally scarred, dude. Her perception of self worth is completely skewed and she lives in a country where she can't get the psychological treatment she needs unless she somehow comes into more money or turns dirt poor AND gets lucky. She connects her life's worth to her sexual and romantic value, and despite knowing this doesn't make sense, can't over come it.
It's all in her head but knowing that and hearing people tell her that doesn't help at all.

>>742657763
My gf has similar paranoia but stuffs it down deep. She has confessed after 4 years that sometimes she checks around for cameras and has since she was little. She has also confessed that she only feels good when I'm getting off. And she jumps when someone enters the room. But she swears nothing like your situation happened to her. Maybe repressed? Was there ever a time that you didn't remember any of it? When did it stop? What age and why?

>>742657903
I'm not OP you moron. I'm the one trying to get her to try group therapy.

>>742657667
ty again. good job ignoring the trolls. if i may.. what is your opinion of someone who would fap to those vids?

>>742657956
You can still post tits, nigger. This whole thread is bait anyway, don't bother

>>742656041
This

>>742657876
That's a rough hand you've been dealt. I'm glad you've been able to get help. I've seen several counsellors for my own problems but I've always found staying better to be a bigger challenge than getting better temporarily.

>>742657843
I did do it beforehand, but i had just discovered it. I didnt only do it on camera. I was 14 when i lost my virginity.

>>742658005
Op would fap to them because this is bait and she is reallly a man

>>742658042
Thanks for the answers. Any advice for someone whose been sexually and romantically attracted to children?

>>742658042
Did your dad record that too?

>>742657876
That is a familiar tune i must say. It sounds difficult but what im experiencing is already difficult so im starting to feel like why the hell shouldnt i try to change it? Maybe if i feel less alone ill feel less defeated. Maybe i can even help someone else whos been through it. You really have given me food for thought. Thank you for sharing.

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>>742646529
>pLeaSe DonT pRetend YOu kNOw How i FeEl aBOUt iT

>>742657935
THANK. YOU.

>>742658077
would it kill you to just play along?? some of us are tryna bust a nut...

>>742656580
Kek

>>742658205
the only problem you have is the way you seek pity and pity yourself.

>>742647319
>without people like you, child rapist wouldn't exist
>without gay people, gay rapist wouldn't exist

>>742658166
>why the hell shouldnt i try to change it?
damn right

>>742657950
That... that makes me very sad. I wish i could tell her myself she isnt alone. Ive never not remembered, i was 10 when it started and 13 when it stopped. Its possible she doesnt remember. Or that she doesnt want the adverse reaction from you thar i got the one time i told a boyfriend. Are there family members shes very disconnected from but shouldnt be?

>>742658205
she sounds pretty adjusted to me.. whats with forcing that victim industry crap all the time? that she has to be damaged because you are? she cant be normal until she does what you have?

>>742656259
Why would you feel bad about that? She failed as your mother, if only in that moment, it was the most significant moment of your life. If she had believed you then, you probably would have gotten psychological help and would be closer to a fully functioning adult today. Perhaps holding resentment toward her is only negative, but feeling guilty about it is even worse, and makes no goddamn sense anyway.
She failed you in your greatest moment of need. Period.

>>742658317
>without child porn consumers, child porn wouldn't be produced
>without gay people, gay porn wouldn't be produced
>kek

>>742658166
It's been my pleasure.

>>742656041
Not OP but I have to say I hate hearing this mind over matter bullshit.
This works for normal people, not sick people.
Stop acting like just because it helped you lose 20 lbs. means it will cure.my depression and alcoholism, y'know?

>>742658005
My opinion is that they are sick and disgusting and the world would be better without them. Its one thing to not be in control of a desire. Its another thing to view things that actively harm others. Plenty of people get off to things that are in their head only. Theres no excuse being a consumer.

>>742658368
No, not as far as I can tell. She said she jumps when people enter the room because her mom would ALWAYS barge in to make sure she wasn't doing anything wrong, and she said she checks for cameras because somehow her mom always knew what she was up to so at one point she even showered clothed. I mean she has a huge family so I have no way of knowing if something happened and those could just be excuses. I hope not. But I wouldn't leave her. We've been through some shit and I'd hope she'd know that.