what would you do if the FBI started knocking on your door?

Answer the door, cooperate.

>>742328583
would check if they forgot the suitcase.

>>742328583
Wonder what the fuck the FBI were doing in England.

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Gee why are the FBI at my house? Shouldn't the CIA be here after what the NSA found what I discovered? The Truth of a chromosome.

what have you done now op

Initiate protocol 1A2B3C

>>742328583
Start checking for cold spots and stock up on salt

>>742328583
The FBI did knock on my door. I answered it and was shocked and didn't want my apartment neighbors to know, so let them in. They asked if we could sit down and we did, at my dining area table. Then they asked if I was "X" at "Y" website, and I said yea, but I didn't do anything illegal, and they said "we just want to make sure you didn't download anything illegal... if you only did a few, that's okay and we'll just delete it.. can you show us on your computer?"

I said no, they said well they're going to get a warrant, I said I don't want to talk, then two other agents entered while the original two left, I googled a sex offense lawyer in my town and called his office (it was about 9pm), message said if emergency call other number, I did, heard loud TV in background and he said "ask them to leave" (I did, they said ummm, no), then he said ask if you're free to leave and meet me at my office (they said I was free to leave), we met, I gave him my credit card number ($1500 retainer), we went back to apartment, they came back with search warrant, found shit, year later plead no contest to child porn, put on sex offender registry, life ruined, posted on b, the end.

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>>742329276

>>742329312
rekt

kill hhds in time of 30secs and put in "cleanone"

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>>742329276

>>742329312
What level offender anon?

>>742329312
are you me?

>>742328583
Nothing. I've done nothing wrong and would therefore surrender my constitutional rights to a couple of nazi bureaucrats who have nothing better to do until lunch time.

I'd probably pepper spray them and beat the shit out of them. I'm not living in the us and they'd be probably some idiot robbers. And it's 4am here.

>>742329276
explain

>>742329559
Tier I bro

>>742328583
Wonder why, since I don't look at cheesy pizza.

>>742329752
What's that mean? Bad?

>>742329752
Then not a big deal. Not like you touched a child.
What state?

>>742329616
Did you get any jail? I just had the one night when I was booked and put in a cell full of 30 niggers until I was released on OR the next morning, then in court I got a suspended one year sentence.

>>742329888
Lowest level

>>742328583
Welcome them in and bake them a batch of cookies. Reminisce about our service during the wars behind us, and revel in anticipation of the wars to come.

It's me ok, I'm the one who downloaded a car.

>>742329888
Tier I is lowest level, just need to register once a year (higher tiers have to do it more often)

>>742328583
'BRO FLUSH ALL THE WEED DOWN THE TOILET'

>>742330150
>>742330258
So like same thing as public urination?

>>742329745
Then it's not funny

>>742330344
In some states yes. the registration system is shit.

>>742328583
I'd tell them their show is fucking stupid and I'd throw a pie on the ground right in front of them and watch that smug smile disappear.

Well I work for the fbi so I would probably welcome them in

>>742330258
What state anon?

>>742330432
Ah. I can't believe people would actually use that photo to show 'FBI' agents. Well. I'll get the Impala.

Probably get searched or something. They'd find nothing illegal. Maybe some weird shit on my computer but otherwise nothing that'll fuck my life over.

>>742330781
Skully?

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>>742330610

i've seen them around before so probably get my smartphone and start recording then open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

>>742328583
Tell them to fuck off cause i dindu nuffin

>>742330853
Fuck, my cover is blown

>>742328748
dumb britposter/muslim

>>742328583
okay google, fly the kite (which means delete everything on all devices 35 passes gutmann method)

>>742329312
Well if you didn't at least move what you had for a few days just in case then you disserve it for being dumb

I would tell them if i roll trips, they must leave. If i roll dubs, they can take my CP infected pc

>>742329312

and somehow justice was done

>>742329276
Oh brothers.

>>742329522
Yea, I am rekt. It's forever on my background checks and even when I don't have to register anymore, it will always be there. I have an engineering degree from MIT (course VI-3), and yet I'm working on the line at Taco Bell for $9.25 an hour, and my big dream is to get my ServSafe certification and get to manager at $12/hour.

Fuck the dark web, fuck lawyers, fuck prosecutors, fuck the system.

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flash asshole through window

>>742331180
cordless drill with carbide bit is better and far quicker

>>742331430
leave the country>>742331430
thats what I would do

>>742329312
>I claim bullshit.
If they were in your apartment then how did you google a lawyer when they wouldn't have let you touch an electronic device so you wouldn't destroy evidence

>>742331430
All is not lost /b/ro
I have been tier 1 for 30 years with no chance of ever getting off. But I have a good job that pays well in my field (IT).

Not every place does a BG check. Some dont even care after 10 years.

Dont give up the hope. Unless you are in Florida

>>742328583
I would tell Sam and Dean to fuck off, and that I'm definitely not kidnapping local children to sacrifice for their youth.

>>742328583
Tell them their show should had ended on season 5.

They have. I was hungover as shit and napping on the couch, asked about my neighbor because he was trying to join them. So nothin too crazy. Guy was older and super cool and i had my rifle on the table cleaning it before my nap and he didn't give a shit

>>742331566
Cant - your passport is not flagged as a sex offender.

>>742331769
*now*

>>742331665
That's good to hear, thanks, maybe I'll look into those.

>>742331769
*is flagged

The newest thing in the U.S. is every airline passenger flying out of the country is checked against the sex offender list, and the destination country is alerted there is a sex offender on board. They naturally refuse them entry, and they have to fly back at huge expense.

>>742328583
That's not the FBI that's Sam and Dean fucking Winchester. Assuming they are looking for me I'd shoot them to shit through the door. Otherwise they would kill me with a salt shell.

>>742331430
>I claim bullshit.
If they were in your apartment then how did you google a lawyer when they wouldn't have let you touch an electronic device so you wouldn't destroy evidence

>>742328583
Open my door, but don't invite them in.
Ask why they are here.
Ask for them to leave because I haven't done anything more illegal than speeding.
If they don't leave, ask to see their warrant.
Wait till they produce a warrant as I call my lawyer.

>>742329276
>Thread

>>742332238
Good luck those fags died more times than i can count, like 4.

>>742331769
>>742331769
fuck the law man. If my life is ruined here I'm gone. Pay some drug dealer to smuggle me on a boat to mexico or some shit.

>>742331639
They didn't care about my cellphone, just my computer which was in another room.

>>742332297
I know this is really shitty mind set to have, but im sure that (unless in a rare cases) if you're asking for a warrant you're just buying time and they know that

>>742329312
Your first mistake was downloading the shit, your second mistake was not encrypting it and bleaching any unencrypted copies from your system.

>inb4 But I wasn't expecting...
Then you're an idiot, and got what you deserve.

>>742329312
>someone who wasn't hurting anyone now has an amazing motive to go out and abduct and rape a kid before killing themselves
what an amazing system

>>742332589
>BS
They would have searched that too!

>>742332657
yea, im with this guy

>>742331742
Season 6 was shit, but 7 and 8 were not bad. (didn't watch the rest)

Wonder what the fuck the fib are doing in canada

>>742332626
you're an idiot. all citizens should ask for a warrant every single time LEAs ask to search their property no matter what they've done or even if theyve done nothing.

ask for a warrant every single time.

>>742333057
It's weird. I've never watched a show with such up and down. Like season 10 was pretty good

>>742332440
If we count Sam multiple deaths in that loop episode, many, many more my dude.

>>742332626
If the FBI shows up at my front door, I'm about to get absolutely fucked by the system because I haven't done anything illegal beyond jaywalking and a few cases of loitering, which suggests that they're going to hit me with some trumped up charges.
If that's the case, I want my lawyer at my side ASAP and I don't want to let them inside so they can plant evidence at will.

>>742328583
>what would you do if the FBI started knocking on your door?

"Hey, what's up? Come on in. Tell me what it's like to work at the FBI."

I literally have nothing of interest to the FBI. It would have to be really unusual circumstances for them to even give a fuck about me.

I am a bit of an FBI fanboy though, so I would probably welcome the visit.

>>742333155
thank you, I know that I need to change my mindset, and that it makes it easier for "them" if I don't.

>>742333217
>I literally have nothing of interest to the FBI
huh, that's funny, they said they found a ton of child porn on your computer.

>>742328583
>FBI comes to Norway?
>*Opens door*
>I attack them with my free healthcare
>They run because they have to pay for that shit
And i dont have to delete my child porn

>>742333185
How was 9? By the way seasons 1 to 5 were freaking masterpieces.

>>742333217
would be kind of cool I guess

>>742332759
They were surprisingly sloppy. I wonder if the people who sign up with the FBI are the failures that couldn't get hired by private industry?

>>742333446
I've watched it on Netflix it kinda all blends together. Just when I think I've seen enough they pull something interesting again

>>742333205
>jaywalking
Wtf is that? Translater to german give no sense.

>>742333646
It's when you walk like in a J shape, illegal walking pattern in the US

>>742333646
not walking in a crosswalk
Nicht zu Fuß in einem Fußgängerübergang

>>742328583
Rip out my hard drives and toss them into the microwaves.

>>742333646
>
Cross the street outside of marked crosswalk

>>742328583
If sam and dean from popular tv show supernatural were to pose as fbi agents and were to knock on my door I would open fire on them. One of them would die but then come back next season and kill me.

>>742333791
>>742333827
>>742333844
Is that illiegal? Alright, thats crazy stuff.

>>742333646
crossing the street somewhere besides a designated crosswalk. it's not usually enforced outside big cities where jaywalking is a big deal with fucking up already congested traffic flow.

>>742333640
Noice

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>>742333646
Google's a thing.

>>742328583

Started? Is there going to be some amount of time until they stop? I'd probably just wait for that.

>>742333646
Walking across the road illegally

>>742333959
I'm almost certain this is something that would exist in germany as well, at least in the cities. people get wasted all the time crossing the road.

>>742333959
Some places it is yes. Like where there are a lot of pedestrian deaths

>>742334061
No, you can overcross the street its not illegal or you dont become a offence but when you hit you get hit.

>>742328748
/thread

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>>742328583

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>>742333961
No cars would get through if this happens all the time.

>>742331430
NY bro?

>>742328583

Excuse me sir but do you know it is illegal to pretend to be FBI

>>742328583
Call the police and have them arrested for attempting to enforce US law here in Japan.

>>742334322
>Ask myself what there do in Germany
>but before i open the door i get a drill an drill in my harddisk meanwhile my pc is on
>than call the police and dont open the door
>there have no permisson in my country

>>742331000
chek'd, even though it wouldve been better with a long drawn out greentext

Offer them maple syrup and a Moosehead.

>>742334503
Japan corporates with US law inforcement.
If not another Nagasaki

>>742334610
If two fbi agents showed up to my house I would call the mounties

>>742328583
Loughing, course I'm from germany and they can't do anything.

>>742328583

>thermite harddrives
>microwave cds
>flush bags of chemicals down toilet
>put on coolface.jpg

>>742334875
That is what Hitler thought too!

>>742328583
Never answer the door to the police.. Are you fucking retarded.

If they have a warrant they can break the door down.

If not they can go away.

>>742328583
turn 360 and walk away

>>742328583
shit my pants

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>>742335095
360° are you sure?

>>742335167
Newfag detected.

>>742328583
answer the door because it's fucking Sam & Dean i'll gladly help them hunt a fucking werewolf.

>>742328583

tell them to come in, then continue masturbating

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>FBI can only other operate on the USA
>Should the FBI or CIA want your head, then need the FBI and CIA a international arrest warrant.
>Then come the loacal law enforcement and try to arrest you. (or knock friendly)

>>742335167
Do your research.

>>742328583
Die like a man

>>742328583
Probably wonder what the fuck they are doing in Finland, and the offer them some coffee.

>>742336258
Do Finns have coffee?

>>742328583
How old were you when you were surfing the dark web?

>>742336499
yeah the vodka flavoured one

>>742328583
SHE'S LEGAL I SWEAR! Well, that's what she told me...

>>742328583
Probably answer it, because I don't believe I've committed any crimes, and if you don't respond at home, they'll grab you at work, which is significantly more damaging and embarrassing.

>>742335281
Maybe so, but that joke is getting old anyways.

>>742328583
Would tell them to get the fuck out of my country

>>742337429
I like you. We should have pickled herring together.

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>>742337541

>>742329312
how long did you have before they produced the warrant? want to see if enough time to thermite one's hardrives.

sure, melted harddrives will be suspicious as hell, but they can't convict without proof

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>>742328583
answer their questions and politely inquire about whats going on and make a joke about the ATF shooting my barking dog.

>my doggo will bite strangers who step past the doorway. i did a bit of autistic weapon training too, she will bite at a guy attacking.

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>>742331665
>tfw Floridian

>>742328583
open door, ..., profit?

FBI knocked I didnt answer took out trash smoked a cig like a nasty /b/tard and still made it away

tell them i'll only talk with agent Mulder or Scully

>>742328583
Same thing I do everytime someone knocks on my door. Wait quietly until they leave.

>>742338651
They entered without a warrant, because they claimed a child entered my apartment so it was an immediate thing to prevent harm, except no child ever entered my apartment, ever, and I was in bed for the night so there was zero warning when they burst in. I had no time to hide anything, if there was anything to hide.