What does /b/ use for home defense?

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i use niggers, they steal stuff as pay, but niggers will be niggers and they keep other niggers at bey

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>>741584490
Plus buss a cap for her lesbian lover

>>741584312
A history of paramilitary violence. When burglars have been kneecapped for the past 30 years, people don't tend to try fucking up your shit. God bless the INLA

my social anxiety

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>>741584312

>>741584312
Not living in a third world country helps

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A loaded house plant and a pretty intimidating box of cereal...

>>741584312
A Barrett 50 Cal.

>>741584312
My halitosis

>>741584312
870 12 gauge shotgun and a xdm 9mm in my living room inside the side of my sofa compartment

gen 3 glock 9mm in my bathroom in the medicine cabinet

500 12gauge mounted on the side of my bed
s&w shield 45acp in my cubbard in the garage

ar15 in the hall closet

my car has a similar setup with a 9mm xdm in the center console and a ar 15 in the trunk

i carry a .357 on my ankle and a 9mm kimber micro iwb concealed and if im out in the woods i carry a 44 magnum and bring a 12 guage

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>>741584729
>A history of paramilitary violence. When burglars have been kneecapped for the past 30 years, people don't tend to try fucking up your shit. God bless the INLA

what?

>>741584312
I listen to alex jones to make sure I know when I need to find a bunker.

>>741584312

I make everything look like a black family lives in my home so people think there is nothing worth stealing/breaking and entering.

>>741584312
My guardian angel

>>741584964

holy shit do you live in a warzone or are you just paranoid?

>>741584990
Northern Ireland. It's complicated

>>741584312
Not living in a nigger infested third world shit hole like the U.S. is a good start.

>>741585088

sounds like Detroit

>>741584312

a nigger free neighbourhood

I have a scarecrow

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>>741585044
sorry forgot pic of grandad

>>741585021
kfc buckets and malt liquor bottles in the front yard?

>>741584801
Hatchet Harry?

>>741585093
IRA or for queen and country?

lot of nigger jokes. edgy

>>741584312
A 12 gauge, like every other normal red blooded American.

>>741584990
Ireland m8

>>741584312
I'm british so no guns, I got a butterfly knife i keep on me at all times in case of shit starting, you never know what the next homeless chav will do

>>741584312
being poor

>>741585220
not good enough, add some watermelons

>>741585330
up the ra

>>741585295
Based anon

>>741585093

probably its the logic of the shithole i live at, but if i was known to do that shit probably someone would try to get revenge by now...

a winchester 1972

>>741584312
Personally, I use the fact that I have nothing to steal.

>>741585330
>>741585548

I'm half Irish and British but fuck you and the IRA you give a bad image to Ireland

>>741585569
BRRRRRAAAAAAP.

>>741585569
these fly over my place all the time ;)

>>741585554
>>741585556
damn so close

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>>741585569

I throw my cat at people who get to close

>>741585103
>Implying niggers don't live in Europe

come find out for yourself

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>>741585569
Faggot

>>741585786
The cringe is real.

>>741585751
Yet you've mastered neither language.

>>741585220
>>741585536

Kek!

>>741584964
Why the fuck do you have 500 12 gauges..? It's people like you that make me think gun control really isn't a bad thing.

I use beta males who sacrifice themselves for me

>>741584312

I don't need a gun - I've got a Donk

my devastating flatulence

>>741584953
>be anon
>sleep
>suddenly a noise in the kitchen
>get out of bed
>not this shit again
>you go and see two fuckers looking through your shit
>they see you, and pull their guns
>you take a deep breath
>suddenly, mustard gas begins to spew forth from your mouth
>the would-be robbers are now gagging to death on your floor, a cloud of gas smothering them
>go back to bed
>problem solved

>>741585970
No I'm just very pissed and slightly illiterate

>>741585751
I'm half Wookie and Mandelorian but fuck you and the Rebel Alliance you give a bad image to the Empire

>>741586096
g'day cobber

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>>741586020
its funny cuz naggars liek fish sammiches and orange soder huhuhuhuh am i rite felluhs huhuhuhuh

jesus christ

>>741585161
fuck you FBI

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Shotgun

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>>741586110

I disguise my place to look like a garbage tip, making it harder to find the valuable stuff.

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im trying to find one in acrylic

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>>741586290
And the rifle

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>>741584312
>Not having logs on pendulums aimed at all entrances
>not having pitfalls
>not having blow guns in totems connected by pressure plates

What kind of Pygmies are you people?

>>741586218
I eat Wookiees for breakfast.

Their meat is chewy

>>741585952
Where's the trigger?

12 gauge pump. (Remington 870)

>>741586241
>angry darkie

>>741586060
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mossberg_500

>>741586388
wash it down with a diet yoda

>>741586198
Fair enough. Clearly the Irish half has control.

>>741586290
Id break into your house to steal that

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>>741586388

>>741586060
kek

>>741584312
https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a6f_1380593191

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130 kg of solid oak, steel and deadbolts in all four directions is my first "defense".
Takes the fire department 15 minutes to open with their tools.
Once inside my rottweiler Balder awaits.
And last but not least, my trusty camping axe.

>>741586460
Ha ha ha. You'd have to get through 2 dogs and a pistol first. If you make it that far, you'll end up with 9 holes from the shotgun shell. I'll see you when you get here.....

>>741584312
An glock 21 & meat cleaver, hand forged.

>ibn4 muslim

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>>741584312

>>741586410
I'm white and from the south, numbnuts. Just not a mouthbreathing, racist cousin-fucker like the rest of you swine.

Plus making jokes about niggers is low-hanging, strange fruit.

>>741584312
It had an ending..

>>741586396
Oh you'll hear the click - but it won't be from the trigger. It will be from thumping on a skull

>>741586576
lol what happens when they pop your window open?

>>741586218
I'm half Man and half Woman but fuck you Binary people you give a bad image to gender

>>741586759
Ha ha ha ha

A water gun.

>>741586710
Well then I stand no chance because it's clearly Spiderman ( I live on the 8th floor)

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>>741584312
Colt M1911. Put a .45 in the fuckers skull

>>741586828
Cause niggers can't swim

>>741586657
Till you prove otherwise, you're just a nigger.

fisticuffs, as god intended

>>741586900
fuck off fbi

>>741585497
Apply for your shotgun licence then.
I keep 2 shotguns at home. Living here doesn't mean you can't have guns.

>>741586576
>takes fire department 15 min to open

Not necessarily a good thing, and how do you know this?

>>741586709
wew you're badass
you wouldn't pull the trigger if your life depended on it you scared little bitch
your dogs would eat your stinking corpse too

>>741586452
Going to live in Ennis in September, Ireland is the shit at least I'm sure we can agree the dirty sandnigger Taliban immigrants are the worst

>>741586932
Okay. You don't need to prove to me you're a faggot though, I believe you.

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My 460 XVR.

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I will split your face motherfucker

>>741587137
Didn't know Samsung made guns.

>>741586987
>how do you know this?
All security doors here are sold with an estimate for how long it takes to break the door down. And the people who complete these tests is the fire department.

>>741585497
I need to get one, street or web, whats your source?

>>741587256
Are you retarded?

>>741587137
>when you really need to kill the fucker

swiss army knife because uk weapon laws kek

>>741585919
I found it amusing

ITT, three maniacs you really wouldn't want to rob, and 50 faggots who probably couldn't even punch someone if they got in a fight

>>741587249

Cringe

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>>741587384
How dare you, my mother always told me I was special.

>>741585952
Avara cadavera

>>741587555
Kek will the swiss army knife be thy ultimate abode defence weapon, no more shall amerifags asketh of us why thy useth not though firearm

>>741584312
Against what, raiders? Do I need to build turrets?

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dog and a 12 gauge shotgun

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>>741587805
>Avara cadavera

>>741587555
>>741587777
KEK WILLS!!

>>741585150
white people are the bigger theives

>>741587834
Don't they let you faggots hang blunderbi over your mantles?

>>741584312
machete master race reporting in

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My trusty old boomstick waits inside the door/window for any nigger trying to get in.
If they can survive the arctic landscape to get here first.

>>741588076
Ignore these faggots, there are plenty of Bongs with guns.

>>741587130
You're on /b/ everyone is a faggot. But not everyone is a nigger like you though.

>>741588192
>round the corner
>i chop off your hand with the machete
>figure 8 pattern overcomes you in CQC


hey. i guess youre planning to fight in the desert, in the wide open, on the ranges or something..

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>>741588192
Same here.

>>741586657

> low-hanging, strange fruit.

That's dangerously close to intelligent humour. You ain't from around here, are you boy?

>>741588381
My house is pretty much a big open square (open layout)
If you come through a window = boom
Come through the door = boom
Either way you die before you set a foot inside.

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>>741588372
I JUST WANT TO BE LIKE YOU, BRAD

I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE THUG LIFE! I-IT CHOSE MEEE-HEE-HEE-HEEEEEEEE

>>741588581
yeah unless you werent expecting it in which case im already preying on you, inside the house, before you have the gun in your hands.. asshole.

>>741588697
>inside the house
Then you'd be food for my mastiffs.

Mostly I use a door. Combined with a proper lock. Behind the door is my German Shephard, not very aggressive but does the job. No more weapons than a baseball bat.. Eurofag

Let's see
>between 450 and 600 soldiers
>barbed wire
>electrical fences
>security checkpoints
>armed guards
>security cameras
>infra red
Probably more shit I don't know about.
I live on an army base.

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>>741584312
I need that spread

I'd make them a cup of tea and ask if they want a chat.
I'm lonely.

Kitchen/hunting knife and a complete lack of my own safety. I couldn't give a shit, someone enters my home I'll fucking stab ya. While screaming. Naked. If I get shot so be it. You'll be gutted before I drop.

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>>741589414

A rifle, a pistol, 2 machetes, and 7 bowie knives.

>>741589558
I don't think you understand how guns work.

Me and my four brothers, three pitbulls, one jack russel, one angry fucking cat and a few rifles and shotguns and my .45.
Ya'll entered the wrong house boy.

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I'd weaponize my bed bugs

>>741584312
A deadbolt.
if you want in to my apartment bad enough to take the fuckin door down, you can have my shit. I'm insured for more than I own anyway and could use a new tv.

>>741589986
>he thinks guns is instakill
9/10 times it takes 4-5 shots to drop someone.
I live in a tiny fucking apartment. By the time you get my door open I'm ready and waiting, knife in hand.

>>741590085
That's actually interesting anon, tell us more about it

>>741589986
guns don't kill you right away unless it's a perfect shot/head shot
go watch some police shootings etc on the interwebs, takes a lot of bullets to stop the bad guys

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>>741584312

>>741584312
ITT Faggots terrified of their neighbours and internet tough guys who'd shoot their own foot off in panic.
It's embarrassing to read this thread. You should all seek help.

>>741584312
I don't live anywhere with real crimes, but let's see.... I keep all weapons by the bedside, I live in a densely wooded area so feral animals/carnivores are a threat... Especially to my outside dog. They use to pay us to hunt predators rather than us paying them for the stamps. Long distance/hungry bear threat? Meet my '76 Remington pump 30.06.... An actual intruder, or smaller animals that have gone feral? I got a steven's/ winchester 16 gage pump. Can't miss... Unless I'm retarded. An actual human trying to rob this far back in the woods? Pull a pistol, I drip my machete and say wanna try? Pull a knife? I pull out my nice and sharp machete and say go for it. Intruders spotted far away, with no weapon? would meet my rifle. Do I need those guns? Probably not. Why do I own them? This is merika faggot. Also, inherited from grandpa and I hunt.... Machete? Cuz what the fuck not. Specified guns? Cuz 4chan is full of fags.

>>741586594
I'd offer to buy the Benelli off of you. I sold my Mossberg 930 a couple months ago and I miss her. I need a good replacement.

>>741590193
It's simple, I'd throw jars full of bed bugs and piss at the the home invader would likely gtfo because a tard was throwing their own waste. The intruder would possibly gtfo and when they get home
invaders will have taken a liking to their place.

>>741590438
>Can't miss... Unless I'm retarded.
that's good news for the other guy

The Katana is my weapon of choice

>>741589350
Holy fuck that's awesome. Is it three shot or do all three go off together?

>>741590569
If they break in you can teleport behind them...

My defense? I live next door to a police station. Cameras everywhere as well.

Rememtion lever action rifle fast and great as hell if you have a good shot

>>741590561
The amount of retard it takes to miss a spread gun 4 feet away, with spread? That's you retarded, anon.

>>741590577
Depends which model you buy my dude, they make whatever you want

>>741590789
you're me retarded? damn.

12 gauge shotgun with #4 buckshot at home long piece of rebar steel inside my car

>>741586110
Change your diet you filthy cretin

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>>741584312
muh dick

>>741590939
But the one in the pic, yours. Do they all go off together or can you fire it three times?
I want to fire that at something. I'd love to see the damage it would do.

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>>741585839
Very effective.

>>741591130
>assuming at a 4 foot spread wouldn't knock someone else, whether or not it's a 16 gage, on their ass
>assuming a 30.06 wouldn't blow a hole in someone's chest
Assuming a pocket knife(and believe me it would be that or a buck knife) would outreach a machete. Yea. I'm fucking retarded. I'd willing play a game when it's a 16 gage without a slug vs a 9mm. Maybe pain if they're stupid, but I'd win every time.
Believe me... That's a 3" mag in the shit for coyotes

>>741584312
Reinforced concrete, barbed wire and mine fields.

2 years of intensive krav maga training. I own no guns, yet you soon realize that practically everything is a weapon with the proper mindset.

>>741587805
I think you mean 'sabra cadabra' you simple faggot

>>741584312
The police, the locks on my door and my fist you fucking faggot.

>>741591707
>sabra cadabra
Lovely lady, mystifying eyes...

>>741585882
God dammit now I have the FFVII theme stuck in my head.

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>>741588062

>>741584964
you should get on some medication

>>741591524
The one I have shoots individual because it's honestly just a waste of bullets to fire all 3 at once unless you wanna just fuck shit up for fun

>>741587555
Cricket bat (aslong as you make it look like you use it for sporting purposes, so knee pads and helmet nearby)

>>741587555
I hope you survive the sand niggers, anon

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Poverty

>>741591524
Usually, drillings have separate triggers to fire. That one has three shotgun barrels so, I'm assuming it has one trigger to fire all three. If they can custom make it, you should ask for a vierling. Search em up. Sick as fuck bruh

>>741590085
That's fucking foul

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>>741584312

>>741584862
WITH MIND BULLETS

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come at me

>>741591984
good idea thanks anon

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>>741584312

I have a pretty fortified small home with only one entrance to the rooms. Three pitbulls all trained to my command. A crossbow. Three swords. A rusty machette. Cqc training. I would own a gun but my neighbor supplies me with firearma if needed. He owns quite a few canons and ars. I go to the shooting range with him every month

I carefully and autistically set up my entire 600 sq ft condo so that no matter where I am, standing or sitting, I have something that I could use to kill somebody within arm's reach. This includes four firearms and countless knives and bludgeoning instruments. I actually live in a secured building in a relatively very safe major American city, but I just like that feeling of ultra-security.

>>741591984
Let's hope you don't get robbed by a ferocious spin-bowler.
Assuming they don't die laughing at you running at them in full whites, your pads and helmet.

>>741592086
No chance in the UK. Minimum barrel lengths and such like prevent such weapons as they'd be considered assault weapons as opposed to hunting weapons.
I'd just like to put all three through a pig carcass at once, just to see the damage.
It's also a thing of beauty.

>>741584312
My fists

>>741587788
Checked and keked

>>741592895
Well your house should be easy to rob then.

>>741592736
Well minimum barrel length is 24" and you're allowed a 3 round capacity with a shotgun certificate. Maybe you could get away with it?

>>741587010
youll get burst within the first month you gobshite.

>>741592560
You wouldn't laugh if Merv the swerve came at you, moustache all aflutter, and a glint in his eye which says "your middle wicket's mine, boy". I saw him bowl a ball clean through a man's torso once, way back when cricket was a proper man's sport.

>>741592736
>>741593134
You that fucking bad at shooting, or just interested in feeling the kick of 3 bullets at once? Shit...

Depends on the room. I have weapons in every room including bathrooms. My fave is the .45 in my dresser but the Judge is a close second and shotgun in the closet and another downstairs will make the local meth heads and heroin junkies think twice.

>>741585751
Being British gives a bad image to Ireland

>>741593134
It's an interesting suggestion. I have a shot gun cert, and firearms for .22lr and .17hmr.
I'm not sure my local clay shoot would look on it favourably though.
Fucking KABOOM.

>>741585751
so you're a fenian and you're english fs man...

>>741592736
>bullets

I live in Canada in a decent small town, the only danger i need to worry about is dipshit farmboys driving drunk.

>>741584312
my fists, i'm a man.

>>741584312
My vocabulary

official bepis server discord/Sxwjpys

>>741590085
Jesus Christ

>>741593208
OK, you may have a point there. A terrifying thought.

>>741593376
Are you kidding? That thing would be great fun if all 3 shot simultaneously.

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http://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending-now/man-reportedly-kills-three-teens-with-ar15-during-oklahoma-home-invasion-attempt_/506695909

Stories like these give me a justice boner

>>741590536
You should throw it through the windows of unwanted neighbors

>>741593376
Bullets wut?? Pretty sure that's a 12g, what with the 12g barrels and 12g shells.

>>741585497
Butterflies are shit and illegal anyway. I wear steel toecaps and if someone invades my house I have a selection of antique swords.

>>741593550
Yeah, my place wouldn't be happy with it either.
Nice to see another bong who keeps guns. Too many think we're all disarmed.

>>741584312
my personality

>>741586351
>Not having a complicated system only passable if you can slow time
>Do you even palace of Azad my dude?

>>741584312
Steel Toed Boots

>>741586351
The 6'5" kind, with firearms

My entire full first floor can be turned into a pit of spikes with the press of a button

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>>741584312
Inb4 i am the blackman.

>>741594381
I relinquished my .243 entitlement last year due to lack of use. I live in rural somerset and just about everyone I know has a fair collection of guns.
Too many tanks are obsessed with hand gun ownership (read this thread) to see beyond the end of their own foresight to realise most of Europe, Britain included, has far freer gun ownership than they think. I regularly shoot with a guy who has 10+ guns Inc. .303, .243, .45 percussion revolvers, a 39 round .22Magnum Tommy gun, a .45 Winchester underlever and any number of .410, 12 and 20g shotguns. My old man still recharges his own 12g ammo and he has a 9mm colt 1911 for large stock animal dispatch.
I'm down to my last 3 12g shot guns. 1 over under, one side by side and one vintage 12g single barrel hammer action cooey.
But to stay on thread, I don't need them for home defence because Somerset. No niggers.

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>>741584312
Nebelwerfer 4 teh winz.

I keep a dozen or so ninjas around the house on retainer

>>741595993
So true about the lack of knowledge regarding gun ownership. I've never bothered with a FAC, I'm more than happy sticking to shotguns but like you have quite a few friends who own a huge variety of different calibre firearms (including a weirdo who loves using black powder).
Also like you I live in an area with virtually no cultural enrichment, hence home defence is a non-issue.

>>741596509
...aaaand we have a winner.
You can werf my nebels anytime you want anon.

>>741596799
If we did have niggers they'd never get past the geese without waking the whole county. Then there's 3 mental border collies who scare the fuck out of everything and everyone.
Tbh, I so rarely use the .17hmr I'll probably drop that to next time round. The .22's the perfect bunny basher but I may chop that in for a fac PCP air rifle. Ammos way cheaper and the ft/lb is the same as subsonic rimfire. 1000+ ft/sec. I would miss the semi auto though, so who knows.