Green text thread! Stories from school edition

>I want to school
>grade k-12
>I did okay
>I graduated
>if youre reading this your mother will die in her sleep tonight if you dont reply to this post

you're a nigger summerfag

>>741292952
fuck

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>>741292952

>do you know the basics of cqc?

>be me today about an hour ago
>found an old hunting knife I havent seen in years
>reminded me of how I once brought it into school
>I showed it to all my friends
>tfw I bought a knife into school and thought it was normal
>tfw if i'd have been caught i'd have definitely been expelled.
>so stupid...

>>741292952
god damn it

>>741292952
may I call you Stencio Naguira Buscasquez?

>>741292253
>be me
>28 yo
>woke up today about about 09 am
>had breakfast
>spend all day reading at my Kindle and also on 4chan sometimes
>it was a good day
>almost 09 pm now
>a very hot night

goodbye ya all

>>741292952
ok

>>741292952
Love you

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>be me
> went to black hs
> took a retarded public safety class
> teacher sold lollipops for charity
> big ass lollipops
> i buy a blue one and start licking it
> 5 minutes in and the class is staring at me
> i ask to use the batroom
> she lets me
> look in mirror my whole fucking mouth is blue
> try to wipe it off
> i cant
> i go back ashamed and embarrassed of myself
> after class is done, clean up mouth
> its clean
> next day
> known as the kid who gave head to papa smurf
> mrw the entire school knoes the story
> mrw i can never ever live down this day

I want to die

>>741292952
U won this time

>>741292952
Fuck offf

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>Typical day at the start of the class
>Kid looks like he's got no sleep
>In between his yawns he slips some glances towards his crush across the room
>Smiles softly to himself, content that he has the chance to see her
>Suddenly hears clattering in the hallways
>The screams of a teacher running across the doorway as bullets crash into him
>Everybody moves back to the windows, the kid is now beside the girl he loves
>Door is pushed open with force, a young man only a few years older than the class studies the room for a split second
>He levels his rifle and picks a target
>The scream from the girl is cut violently short as a bullet tears through her skull
>The kid crouches down in fear and sees her lifeless eyes from between his fingers
>The man opens fire again, more of his classmates scramble and fall
>The eternity of the scene ends with footsteps down the hallway and he can't move
>Schoolbell rings
>The kid wakes up with a jolt, the teacher taps him with a ruler
>"Homework for thursday Anon!"
>He looks around the room in a dazed panic
>His girl is giving him a smirk
>He realizes he's not American
>The day goes on.

>>741292952
k,knk;ujbgh

>>741295047
So edgy i need a bandaid

>>741292253
>Be me
>All the other kids in school get caught for the dumbest shit, texting in class etc
>I figure out a way to play video games in class, go on my phone and snort pills
>Put backpack on desk
>Backpack blocks line of sight from teacher
>Play DS in class, text, crush up pills and snort them
>Never get caught
>Nobody ever says anything, kids behind me never tattle

>Go to the bathroom constantly
>Wander the halls and fuck around

>Get suspended
>Time to go to ISS
>ISS teacher is my friend
>Buys me shamrock shakes from mcdonalds
>Let's me play minecraft on the computer in class

I had a blast in highschool even though I hated it. I got away with so much. I have more stories if people are interested.

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>>741292952

So it's 4th grade live not so far from school wake up late and walk takes 10 mins to get to school I enter through the back of the school they had a back enterance gate mind you I was like 1 to 2 hours late enter back see no one at the school it's dead empty didn't think anything of it keep walking to class still too quiet get to class door is closed get to class pitch dark no lights no nothing so I knock hear slight shrieks so I knock again really hard and I hear screams loud ass screams keep knocking louder and louder screams decide to knock on window even louder screams door opens very fast while I'm at the window it's the teacher looks scared shitless I go inside everyone inter the tiny ass tables some were crying hide under table still confused af 2 hours later teacher informs me there was a lockdown because a bank got shot up and was around the area and he was very very near my school they thought I was the shooter people hated me after that just ignored me like I did it In purpose but after the shit I got I'm happy they're fucking crying because I "was" the shooter but no regrets best time in grade school ever

>be me, kind of chubby and hard facial features
>non conducive to making friends
>never developed social skills
>never even try
>waste summers on /b/
>drop out halfway through junior year because i couldn't appreciate the blessing of free education and certification
>i let the social aspect of it affect me too strongly
>no proper guidance otherwise, mom was on crack
>fast forward 5 years
>now im a custodian
>in a happy relationship,
>but still no solid grip on stability
>training to join the navy now
>basically going to trade 4 - 8 years of my adult life for sustainability, insurance, and education,
>because i couldn't just drop my ego in high school

>be me in 7th grade
>spelling bee is coming up, being the faggot i am, i decide to get involved
>be the classroom finals, me vs frenemy emo chick
>emo chick is a cunt, but hot. i am torn on what to do
>makes pissy comment about me
areuready.jpg
>tis her turn, mispells a word
>i must spell my next word right to win

>i misspell it
>she laughs at me, i give a nervous chuckle
>her turn, mispells word
>i spell my word right
>she glares
idc.jpg
>2 weeks until the school finals, they gave us a list of words to study


>be 2 weeks later, too lazy to study, as i thought i would be good-ish
>parents are christian, and i forgot to do laundry the day b4, so the only clean shirt i have is some dumb christian shirt
>it being my only clean shirt, i must wear it
>decide to wear jacket over it, the only problem is that at that moment i only had a heavy winter jacket
>be at the gym, where its being hosted
>the whole fucking school is there
>it feels pretty hot in the gym, i wonder why
>all of the spelling bee contestants must sit in these dinky ass metal chairs on the stage, when its your turn you walk up to the podium
>being the nerdy bitch i am, im pretty nervous
>i survive for a few rounds, and about half of the ppl remain
>its my turn, and i walk up, all sweaty cuz of my jacket
>'please spell failure'
>i find myself thinking - 'well thats easy enough'
>while saying the word, i somehow fuck up, and i immediately ask if i can start over
>they not their heads like little bitches
>i make my way offstage
>im the new 7th grade meme, and get made fun of a lot for the next few months

>>741292952
Ooh

>just a noreal day in shop class
>fucking around in classroom area while obnoxious hick students do the same in the garage/shop area
>recently been going over welding
>acetylene and oxygen tanks are set up and open
>suddenly hear the sound of a door slamming incredibly loudly from outside of classroom
>cops were called
>someone made a bomb out of a water bottle and acetylene gas
True story

>>741292253

>Be me
>Grade 7
>Smell something foul
>There is a bloody piece of shit in the hallway

>tis me
>grade 6
>asshole black girl joined our school last year, kind of an attention whore
>she eventually moved to a different school after shitting in a bathroom trashcan, im pretty sure she was a tard

>Testing.

>>741298185
Are you from NY?

>>741297378
fucking grammar please

>>741298413
nah man, virginia

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>>741293921
>mfw you think this is a story about anything beside you being an antisocial moron.

>>741293159
I have a very similar experience
>recieve swiss knife from father age 5-7
>years later at 10 years old
>bring knife to school
>show friends
>dirtybraggart.jpg
>got caught
>told truth I just wanted to show the knife ->>>>
>not stab everybody...

I did many dumb things

>>741298774
Something similar happened here. Well, Atleast that is how the story goes.

>>741298887

kek what if its the same person XD

WHO ARE YOU ALL QUOTING???????

>>741299491
The mythical monkey shitter

>>741292952
IN MT NIGGERFAGGOT

>Be me
>Middle school
>In computer lab
>Bored as fuck
>Ctrl-Alt-Left
>Turn off computer
>Computer teacher(Who is completely unqualified for her job) turns computer back on
>Sees rotated screen
>Get detention for "Hacking"

>>741292952
I hope you die

>>741292253
>Be me in grade 7
>Chubby got picked on a lot
>Selfesteem issues
>One kid picks on me every day
>Roasts me every day
>Get fed up
>"You can't wait to be done Elementry school so you can go to bring your faggot son to work day with your Dad"
>Turns out his Dad killed himself a few months before
>Still think about it today

How do you green text?

>>741293058
More?

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>be not you
>be 10
>in dumb nigger elementary school in ghetto place
>group of kids excited in class for no reason, loud like they normally are
>do my work and hope they stop niggering
>next day kid goes up to teacher, whispers something
>teacher walks over to one of the Jamals from yesterday
>begins quietly asking him if he has a knife in his pack
>he denies it, teacher brings him to front of class
>now everybody's looking at him
>teacher goes through his pack after a bit of the ape trying to keep it
>pulls out a fucking knife
>mfw this nigger probably was gonna stab somebody had he not been caught
>mfw the rest of the Cosby's hated the teacher for the rest of school
>mfw he gets expelled

some other times people brought lighters, one kid was caught in my middleschool selling weed to the other students. my old science teacher also got arrested for child porn recently.
nigger school is fun

>dropped acid at school
>got caught smoking weed
>cops came to school
>tripping balls in office with cops
>had to go home for weed
>they never new we were tripping

>>741301383
faggot

>>741301379
also, my ex got caught sucking dick at school so the nigga could do her homework. video went viral locally and the person who recorded them went to jail for distribution of child porn i think.
i found her number later when cleaning out my room and gave her a panic attack making fun of her anonymously (i was in rotc, cant get caught) because she always had horrible anxiety. she tried killing herself after she was caught
only time doing something horrible to another living being, and i dont regret it at all

>>741301383
my ex got caught and expelled smoking weed a few days after we were dating officially, as did some of my nigger friends

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>Grade 12
>On bus on way to school
>Whole ride there the bus smells like absolute shit
>Get off the bus and there's a visible trail of half solid shit leading into the school
>Following the trail you can see where the kid who shat his pants went
>Instead of going to the bathroom or to the main office this kid made a b-line for the breakfast line
>Friends and I wait near the largest pool of shit in our usual spot
>Three kids step in it
>Rest of the day custodians are doing a deep clean on the floors
>Only have a vague idea of who the kid was that did it and he wasn't even retarded, no idea why he didn't care that he shat his pants

>Be 9, best friend is 10
>Best friend and I really excited to see the new Cartoon Network original movie ReAnimated
>Movie has some faggot kid who gets hit by a train and needs a brain transplant
>Basically gets a Walt Disney-esque cartoonist's brain
>Starts to see the creations by the cartoonist
>Two gophers that are supposed to be parallels for Mickey and Minnie Mouse
>Best friend and I joke about the two gophers having sex
>During a commercial break my friend looks over to me
"What if we had sex?"
>We whip out our floppy pre-pubescent dicks and proceed to slap them together
>Do this until the movie comes back on
>Don't even acknowledge what we just did
>Stopped being best friends pretty soon after

Real talk tho the kid's alien sister from the show is pretty hot

>>741292952
Got me there bud

>>741295734
has a point though.

>>741300869
wat?

>be me
>eighth grade
>Finnaly finds a girl who likes me for me
>we become friends
>she moves away
>I still talk to her over kik or Skype
>she's coming back to our school
>we both admit our love to eachother
>invite her over to my house
>have an alright time tbh
>the day she comes back she pretty much ignored me at school
>I'm concerned
>we talk over Skype that night. Her dad found out we were together and apparently she's not aloud to date or something
>the next day I find out she's with my one of my friends who we stopped liking after he was being a dick
>I see them make out almost everyday, realizing I didn't get so as far as kissing her
>was around the time my little eighth grade edgy suicidal phase started.
>she was a nice person and tbh I wish we just stayed friends cause I know if we put it off a little bit longer we would maybe end up together, although I still had my doubts cause after we broke up she said we could still be friends, which was bullshit cause I would say hi to her or even look at her then be called a perv

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>Be me, in like.... freshmen year.
>Walk into school and have swimming 1st period
>Get no sleep over the weekend because of shit party that went on.
>Walk into the pool area thinking I have swimsuit on.
>Jump in pool like an idiot.
>Mfw all me and my soaking wet stuff is pulled out

>8th grade
>bored in math class and my friend says hes going to blow up the school (joking)
>oh shit I want to help!
>tells me to bring batteries to school
>next day I bring a box of 6 9volt batteries
>in gym class and I show him the box
>we do dumb shit with the batteries
>start telling people "were gonna blow up the school!!"
>some fucking retard thinks were serious
>gym class next day and I get called to the office
>thought it was because I drew a massive penis in permanent marker on the bathroom stall last week and I had got caught
>I sit in the office waiting for a fucking hour
>finally the assistant principle comes out
>he brings me to his office where the principle and the school police officer are sitting
ohshit.jpg
>I sit in the chair as they all give me same look I got when I had made a massive stain with red ink on the carpet last year
>"what can you tell me about bombs"
>fuck how do I get out of this one
>uhhh what do you mean?
>he pulls out the beat up plastic packaging from the batteries
>"I was just joking dude I wasn't actually going to do anything"
>explains to me how if I was older I would be in handcuffs right now
>I leave the office and my mom is there
OHFUCK.jpg
>she gives me the "office referral" paper and we walk to the car
>doesn't say a thing the whole ride home
>I look at the paper and it says I have 5 days of out of school suspension
>5 days later
>my friend isn't there
>no one will talk to me
>some dumb bitch actually thought I was with Isis and refused to sit anywhere near me
>my crush laughed when I walked into my 2nd class
>its the next day and I get called to the office
>my mom and 4 or 5 other people are there
>tfw I got kicked out of school
>had to repeat 8th grade
I still to this day have no idea what happened to my freind. I've spent hours looking for him on the internet (he had a steam account but never used it)
He was probably the best friend I had in middle school and I'll probably never see him again

>>741292952
F

>Be me
>7th grade
>Taking a piss
>Tard comes into bathroom
>endme.jpg
>Goes to urinal right next to mine
>Pulls pants all the way down
>He tries to piss, but noting happens
>"I CAN'T PEE PEE!" yelled the tard
>Starts smacking his little chode
>Starts getting turned on
>"UUUURRRRRRGGHHHHGGHHG" uttered the tard in an orgasmicly blissful state
>He's getting a boner
>Still can't piss
>Tard punches his dick with his super tard strength
>I hear a snap followed by an ungodly loud shriek
>The tard had snapped his dick
>Allofmywut.png
>Runs out of restroom sobbing in pain with his pants at his ankles, with his broken chode in all of its glory
>Mfw that whole ordeal

>>741305050
Fake and (You)

>>741292952
Fuck you

>>741292952
Kek

>be me in 3/4 grade
>parents struggled growing up so had a lot of hand-me-downs
>was laundry day so had to wear large pair of shorts with belt
>it was recess and had to use the restroom
>go to urinal
>have to hold shorts with one hand
>accedently drop shorts and underwear around ankles
>breeze felt good
>6th graders walks in, sees me and walks back out
>mfw he saw my bare ads
>mfw it was last week of school before summer and he left
>mfw my story was never heard

>>741292952
Not again

>8th grade
>chilling outside during lunch time
>me and my buddy Kevin are dicking around next to the building
>a girl named Donna is making faces at us through a window on the second floor
>I take two bites of my apple and hand it to Kevin
>"here ya go man"
>without even thinking he whips it at her
>before Donna can react it smashes through the first window pane
>horyshet.jpg

She didn't get hurt and we never got caught.
Of course right after the school replaced the window, a couple days later some nimrod drove a golf ball through it.

>>741292952
This was expected

>>741292952
FUCKFUCKFUCK

>>741292952
was about to reply then i remembered my mom is dead

Be me about 12 years ago (18 now)
Standing in line in my primary school canteen
Out of nowhere my friend grabs my waste and pushes his crotch into mine
I push him away in confusion and ask what he's doing
He tells me that he and his cousin do it together when they're alone
Act creeped out but deep down something awakens inside of me....

Who wants more

>>741296218
please share more

>>741308636
go on...

>>741297568
Its a good story. Hopefully itll have a happier ending than you expect

>>741308636
More

>>741297829
my teacher from shop did this every year with the freshmen

>>741292952
If I have to

>>741292952
Cunt

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>>741292952

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Junior year of highschool in new orleans ghetto af but its cool.
>chillin with my boys at our lunch table
>fight breaks out no big deal shit happens everyday
>two more after that alright wtf
>5th onr breaks out alright this isnt too normal
>friend goes to see whats up and comes back with his arm sliced open
>lil niggas going around slashing with a boxcutter
>with all the comotion everyone breaks out into a riot tons of fights
>cops eventually come spraying kids with pepper spray
>school goes on lockdown
>me and my boys decide fuck it if we leave school no one will notice
>hopped the fence and went to my friends house to smoke weed and hangout before my work shift started
>my mom overheard what happened tell her i skipped she was happy cuz she didnt want me to be there
>was a cool day
Got more stories if anyone cares

>>741296218
I'm down for more

> be retarded fourth grader me
> put on timeout for bad behavior wall class gets to go outside
> have to sit outside with Troublemaker kid but he a bro
> we sit on bottom of cinder block wall watch everyone play
> we decide to make it more fun and scoot up cinder block by cinder block to get to the top of wall
> there is small grassy field where cheerleaders play by the courts
> behind this are some rocks and we decide to play a game to see who can throw the biggest rock the farthest
> we see cheerleaders playing out in the field we try to be nice and call out to them but they don't hear us
> fucking dumbass me decides to throw the rock anyway
> best cheerleader in head with huge ass Rock
> feel guilty of shit when I see her starred bawling her eyes out
> everyone shocked have to go inside
> eventually escalates to where I go to principal's office
> tell her the truth guilty as shit but get off scot-free because I was good student

I was a lot more retarded as a kid and fucked up a lot

>>741292952
: (

>>741301379
Was his name Matt Sauer?

>>741304298
retard

>>741304221
Keked

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>>741292952
Damnit

>used to bring cool tech decks to school in 5th grade
>everyone was jealous of my tech deck
>go to redneck school so every kid owns a gun or knife at the age of 3
>kid offers to trade me this sweet dragon knife for my tech deck say yeah
>next i make the trade its a fucking 6 inch blade
>walk around the school the whole day nervous af with the giant dragon knife in my bag
>bring it home "this is badass"
>eventually throw it in the woods cuz i was too nervous to get caught with it

>>741305784
Still funny though

>>741310366
In Whichikoka, PA they have a raccoon that they put next to the milk wagon, and if you don't have the half penny toll (or it's equivalent in skunkhides) to ride in the back that coon'll beat you within a salmons tooth of your life. Now most cityfolk (usually coeds trying to escape from the local hillpeople) sometimes try to bribe the coon with some citymoney, or maybe a ladel of gravy, but here in ol' Koko we're known for having only the most honest animals working! And to tell you the truth, I think ol'Skeeter (that's the milk 'coons Christian name) just loves watching those ladies get raped and ate by the hill people haha, I tell you what. He ain't wrong!

>>741309465
Fuck yeah! More!

>>741309538
More?

Anybody in here speak Russian I need translation

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>Be me
>5th grade. Maybe 4th I think it's 5th
>eating in lunch with friends
>eating granola bar
>piece of shit that crumbles alot
>crumbs
>bitchy (I think) mixed native American teacher that looks native american comes over and yells at me for making crumbs
>screams at me so I get lippy, drags me out of cafe to principal
>wants to get me expelled
>I kid you not this is after one time not even a warning
>principal (who I hate even more, much bigger piece of shit) suggests in school suspension instead
>bitch leaves
>principal says nothing is gonna happen to me just be careful not to piss her off again
>still hated both of them for years
lots I could say about teachers I hate from the hellhole that was elementary school but it's in the past and I mean them no harm.

Doesn't mean the principal wasn't an asshole, he called me retarded straight up several times and insulted my mother alot.

I got one:

>One day I woke up to the sound of screaming
>Pleasedon'tkillmetoo.avi
>I remembered my best friend was sleeping over
>Sometimes he gets these "fits
>Forfuckssake.mp2
>All I want is to go back to sleep
>Get out of bed
>Get my baseball bat
>On my way to my friend
>Trip and crack by temple open on my end table

Then I remembered to read the first letter on each line

>>741311263
>pep rally was being held in the gym
>my friends and i hate that shit so we decide to sneak out
>school faculty is always on guard on days like this
>we cant walk out the gates like we usually do to skip cuz they locked it
>call in my weed dealer to get us a ride out of there
>go through the teachers parking lot that wraps around into the bus parking lot
>only problem is theres 4 teachers and cop out there waiting for us
>we hide behing cars and shit metal gear style and wait for the teachers to pass as we run to the next spot
>our dealer is parked out in the street right outside the schools gates text him to leave the doors unlocked so we can make a dash to the car
>two teachers were in the parking lot
>wait for them to turn around me and my two friends book it to the car
>teachers start chasing us but as long as we kept our backs towards them they couldnt recognize us (were wearing uniforms)
>make it to the car unscathed
>go to my dealers place get high and play halo for the rest of the day

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>be me in 8th grade
>school had a server that the teachers and students save papers and shit on
>every student and teacher had their own folder
>one day i decided to be a dick and copy/paste blocks of empty folders into my friend's personal folder
>over 300 folders
>forget about it and keep working on paper
>class is almost over and my friend notices what happened when he's trying to save
>calls teacher over
"my computer wont scroll down and i dont know what happened"
>the presence of over 300 folders caused his windows explorer window to seize
>teacher obviously has no fucking idea what to do
>calls over IT guy
ohfuck.bmp
>*ctrl A *delete
>nothing
>IT guy is confused how some kid managed to accidentally make over 300 folders
>bell rings and class ends
"im gonna look into this, I have no idea what happened"
>go to next class thinking I got away with it
>30 minutes in
>teacher's desk phone rings
"yeah can you send anon to the office real quick"
areyoufuckingkiddingme.img
>long walk down to the office
>they managed to trace the folders to me somehow
>apparently the IT guy's laptop cant delete the folders either
>get detention and cant touch a school computer for the rest of the school year

the kid and I ended up becoming really good friends and apparently i became the IT guy's favorite student

>>741312218
Fucking cash.
More?

>>741312338
>sold cigarettes at lunch
>sold weed at lunch
>got bitches
Give me a bit tbh most of my stories kind of similiar ask me a subject and ill see what i got

>>741312661
Here's two subjects:
Cops
Dumb luck

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>>741298800
One day there was a threat of a school shooter, most of my friends and I brought serrated gutting knives just to be prepared.

I mean the school shooter gets pretty famous but the guy who stops it gets pretty famous as well.

>bring a knife to a gunfight
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
We were retarded

Op here. Never thought this thread would gain this much attention

Anyone still here? Got the story of how I got laid at school with a teacher, almost 10 years ago.
Only had 3 women short-term since then... eh... memories.

>>741292952
Cunt.

>>741312853
I'm shocked too. I've seen these die with only one screen's worth of content

>>741312920
Tell it

>>741312710
Alright ill find one for the second one
>was walking home in my uniform smoking a cigarette
>my last one
>i was 17 at the time undercover cops popped out of nowhere started searching me and shit after handcuffing me
>yo wtf
>they tell me its illegal to smoke underage
>lie and say im 18
>they say its still bad because it makes my school look bad
>nigga have you seen my school
>they let me go after they realize how dumb it was i think they just wanted cigarettes

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>>741312108

>>741312710
This one time i was chillin at my table
>one side was underneath these overhang shutters that covered the windows in case of hurricane damage
>my table was pushed against the wall and i sat on the wall side no one could really see what we were doing on that side
>used to smoke cigs there all the time at lunch
>one time my friend brought some weed to the table
>i crafted a bong out of a two liter mountain dew bottle and aluminum foil i got from some kids lunch box
>started blazing it
>got high af and didnt realize how dank it smelled eventually everyone was looking towards us
>other group of smokers luckily happened to be smoking a blunt
>thing was they were known as the smoker kids cuz not everyone smoked at my table
>so the teachers suspected them and they got in trouble i got high af and did my thing

>>741292952

>jerked off in the girls bathroom every morning
>never got caught

>>741296218
Do tell

>>741313610
Kek, fucking teachers and school security would make terrible detectives. They only go on assumptions and favoritism. I learned to make friends with the Asst. Principle who was a pushover when you were friends with him. Never needed to use that though.

I asked, and you committed.
So thank you

>>741301383
Weed dude lmao

>>741313937
Yeah man no problem same actually this one dean loved star wars i would just chat up with him about the movies and he would get carried away and just let me leave and do my thing. Got away with so much shit cuz of that

>>741292952
Nuggets

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>>741292952

>>741311385

I got another at is less about me being a dumbass and more about relationships

> be me in 6th grade
> be super Christian until now
> always said to myself "not having sex till married"
> walk to and from school with two younger brothers
> they are Rowdy as fuck but I keep them in line
> we pass through this one Alleyway everyday, with a ton of large buildings no one really goes inside during the day
> chat with other people that I walk with
> one of them is non popular thin white girl
> the one that's kind of on the weird Spectrum in a little bit nerdy
> starts walking with me and the boys every day
> sometimes we chat Non-Stop
> completely friends though, girl not sexy at all + whole christen no sex thing
> one day out of nowhere she gives me a letter and tells me not to open it until I'm alone
> nudist she's got in the little bit more flirty lately
> bit suspicious but but I hold on to it and read it in the bathroom stall
> it's a super messy detailed letter explaining how she wants to meet in the alleyway hideout in one of the buildings and fuck all day instead of going to school
> she says that she wants me pound her with my nigger dick (I'm mixed) and to come inside again again, she says it will be okay cuz she knows how great of a father figure I am and that she would love to have my beautiful black baby
> holyshit.jpg
> next day on the walk home she's cuddling up next to me and hugging my arm asking why I didn't show up
> have to let her down easy she kind of heartbroken
> still awkward friends, meet up in middle school and she explains that you really really wanted me to be her boyfriend and still does
> never had a girlfriend and still think back on her as the one crazy chance I had
> still weird to think about

I'm not really a Christian anymore but I'm not sure if I would date that girl even if I wasn't
The whole thing reeks of desperation

>>741314150
I got one for you:

>Be my own self
>Be 17
>Worked at a cub camp because I'm a faggot who likes to meet new people
>Lost my cool with one of the campers when he defied me
>We were alone in the back of the group
>I start to noticeably get mad
>This camper (Ivan) is pretty chill, but likes to screw around
>We were on a schedule to get from one place in the camp to another and he was holding back the group
>I grab him by the neck
>Not strangled him mind you, just grabbed his neck
>Fuck
>I'm gonna get fired

Next day

>Figure that I'm going to show up and be fired on the spot
>Day goes on
>Impromptu staff meeting is called
>Camp director tells the staff that "One of you did something wrong. You know who you are, and so does your camper who you are supposed to look after"
>Slightly worried, but I know I'm screwed
>I don't show it because I'm not shit at poker
>She says that the staff member will be talked too later in the day
>Day goes by

Next day

>Find out someone else got fired
>Go to Ivan
>We just chat like nothing ever happened
>MFW I became bros with someone 6 years younger with me
>Played favorite with him for the rest of the summer

>>741307654
This is my towns high school logo of it was purple.

>>741300869
I'm glad his dad killed himself.

>>741314856
It happens like that sometimes bro my best friend is 5 years older than me

>>741309538

Same poster

> be lazy me in about 2nd grade
> be out of shape and don't go outside to play
> school has stupid mayday event
> everyone has to compete in stupid competitions like run a mile high jump and shit
> hated every second of it
> Midway through the mile run Donewiththisbullshit.png
> need to think of an excuse to not have to finish
> pretends to fall over from heat exhaustion
> put my face into the mulch
> one or two parents notice but aren't really concerned
> no one gets up to help
> I get up and slowly finish feeling like a jackass

>>741314565
You were in the right
If a bitch wants a kid, tell her to heck off

Imagine how much better off our parents would be if they never had us

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>>741315141

>>741292253
I got suspended from school once for 2 weeks.
>Told kids in the year above about a porn site of fake pictures (this was in 2002). They printed off a picture of Sabrina The Teenage Witch fingering herself in a fake picture, and they put it all over the school 100 plus times.
I got the fucking blame.
I only told them of the site, they did it... I got the blame.
Cunts.

>>741292952
Well shit.

>>741292952
fak

>>741309465
Hell yeah

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>>741314856
Same poster
Same camp

>First day of staff week
(we train for the upcoming summer and set up the camp for program)
>We have to set up a car port to keep the campers out of the sun when taking attendance
>Get the top half set up
>No central "foreman" telling us what to do
>Just put pieces together until they worked
>Then a 7.5/10 mother comes down the road and tells us what we are doing wrong, how we are doing it wrong, and what we can do to stop doing what we are doing which is apparently wrong
>Bad first impression
>She was the Nature lady for the camp
>Set up car port with her looming over us

>Turns out she's pretty chill
>I get to know her
>She actually cares about her job
>The campers
>Having a good time
>Meeting new people
>Figure we caught her on a bad day

The whole summer goes by

>2nd to last day of work
>Remember she has a mineral collection in the nature lodge
>Remember the first day
>I go the lodge after program on the second day after the campers have all left
>Take all ye shiny rocks
>Feel like a pirate
>Yarr.wav
>The whole camp is confronted with a pissed off camp director and a saddened Nature lady about how someone was very dishonest
>My group was the last group to visit her
>They weren't looking at staff
>I confronted my group knowing that they were clean
>They got pissed
>The nature lady said that she knows my group was among the last people to be in that room with her collection
>I attempt to comfort her and tell her that I'll do what I can to figure out who stole them
>MFW I flat out lied to someone I made friends with because of a 20 minute bad experience

tl;dr
First impressions are everything

Pic related

>>741316293
Bonus points if you can name them

>>741301038
well shit that's some hq bait

>>741315141

Me again

>Be me in Middle School
> not really edgy but think social norms are stupid
> one day go with my older brother to visit friend
> friend is thick bitch and little sister
> don't remember much of the details just know that I was trying to be nice but having bad time
>Started argument with much younger little girl spraying me with spray bottle while I'm there so already pissed
> spray bottle kid goes inside and now arguing with friend's little sister for some reason
> she says she's going to slap me caused she doesn't like me I guess
> tell her with a straight face " if you slap me I will slap you right back"
> she doesn't believe me
> she slaps me I slept back and immediately with same Force
> I don't hold grudges so stone cold face waiting to see wut she do
>Her face is shocked.jpg
>later scared that I'm going to get in super trouble with her parents or the cops, idk overreacting
> nothing happens
> I guess biches respect a good backhand if you defending yourself

I'm not really confrontational person, nowadays I'm kind of Mondo nerd. But I can see why people thought I was a thug back then

>>741316293
The purple is quartz but idk bout the rest you seem like a cool dude

>>741317024
Thx
Apart from me being a vindictive liar.
From right to left they are:
Coal
Green Calcite
Blue Quartz (Not meth)
Orange Calcite
Amethyst (AKA: Purple Quartz)

>>741300268
That reminds me of the time a bunch of kids got in trouble for playing Halo on the school computers because it "slowed" down the internet speed despite being LAN servers

>>741292952
bitch

>>741292952
y tho

Ok /b I've got an interesting story for you, It involves a tard, his wrangler, erasers, and me. So first you'll need some perspective on my situation.

>Be me in 7th grade
>Lunch is separated into 3 segments
>Lunch is around 20 minutes long
>Tard table at back next to bathrooms in-case there's an incident with one shitting themselves or something
>Sitting with friends and talkin bout plans for the weekend
>Go to take a piss
>Take 3 min long piss cuz drink a lot of water
>Washing hands
>See pile of around 6 erasers
myluckyday.jpeg
>Take erasers
>Drying off hands and see tard
>Dont care
>Screech
myears.wav
>Stand my ground
wrongmove.mp4
>Tard trys to knock me down
>hold him back
>sees erasers in my pockets
>unleashes such a fearsome screech that my ears start to ring
>get off of him and give him back erasers
>He says thank you and gives me a toothy tard grin then hugs me
>Couldn't do anything bout it
>after he has me in the tard lock of hugging I just walk out of the bathroom and he's still holding onto me
>Tard wrangler comes and pulls him off
>Thanks me
>Crush says that that was sweet and she didn't know had a soft spot
>Thanks for the brownie points tard.

>>741318871
This thread may die soon from length and I want to hear more. You may want to make a new one of your own

will do

>>741292952
jus 2 b safe

Just post it when you make it Tard story guy

vive la tard!

Okay i got one
>Junior Year
>Taking speech because requires
>Have to explain a D.I.Y.
>After days of brainstorming and procrastination decided one thing
>Suicidal Incision
>In my mind, why you shouldnt do it
>In actuality, how not to fuck up the first time
>Even made props
>Just in case, ask the 8/10 teacher if its okay
>Its not
>Show class instead how to draw a pencil
Teacher: See that wasnt going to kill you
>Yes it will
>myactionsspeakerlouderthanwords.jpg
>Day continues as normal
>Later get called down to office
>Shit did my grandmother finally find out ive been getting my report cards?
>Turns out its about my speech
>8/10 thinks im suicidal
>TL;DR Im not suicidal, just autistic
>Be a good noodle for rest of year
>mfw that teacher probably tells kids not to do a DIY speech suicide now.
Fuck I was retarded

>>741293405
Bye

>be me 12
>nigger at school keeps harassing me
>brings empty bag of crisps into bathroom
>delivers a massive shitsquash in the bag
>reeks of death
>nigger has no lock on his locker
>dunks the shitbag upside down in niggers backpack
>he brings backpack home with him
>Mfw i helpted him adopt a son

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>Be me sophomore year
>live in upper middle class white community
>almost zero niggers
>except one
>have a couple friends
>best friend is edgy, retarded, greasy haired Greek kid
>possibly the biggest goon of all time
>super funny but racist
>everyone likes him because he doesn't give a fuck
>perfect opponent for the one black girl on our bus
>"only minorities can say the n-word"
>she is complete troglodyte but otherwise chill

>regular Friday
>Greek retard found blue rag in school
>somehow thinks it's a good idea to cut eye holes in it and walk around with it on his face as mask
>doesn't get in trouble all day
>end of the day
>me and Greek retard get on bus
>everyone is rowdy because Friday
>Greek retard has previously invoked fights with black girl asking who would win in a race war
>that shit was funny
>not today
>Greek retard puts mask on
>everyone's laughing
>"nigger" is said a couple times
>kids are saying he should paint it white
>even Arab kid is laughing and asks to put on mask
>black girl turns around and asks to take picture of Arab (he's a total Chad elitist)
>Chad asks why
>she says half-heartedly "because I think it's funny"
>Greek nigger says "false"
>I sit there just laughing
>Chad says why not
>"it's just a blue rag"
>Chad fucked up
>she takes picture
>10 minutes later we get to black girl's stop
>her aunt is yelling at the driver that the kkk is on the bus
>TFW blackly sent picture to aunt
>TFW aunt called the school
>TFW aunt also called the cops
>Greek fag try's to talk to pissed black lady saying it was just a rag
>she calls him a little boy telling him to sit down
>bus driver radios in to HQ for confirmation
>yep HQ says its racial intimidation and cops are on the way
>everyone has to sit on bus for half an hour
>cops and principle arrive
>TFW the cops leave once they figure out its just a blue rag
>no one takes our story just crazy black aunts story
cont.

>>741307448
Haha

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>>741292952
You cheeky fucker.

>>741292952
F

>>741322661
Continued...

>Greek retard and Arab Chad get 10 days suspension and almost get expelled
>Greek retard was never the same and became total cuck
>thought I was gonna get in trouble for whatever reason
>never did
>Arab Chad got suspended again for roasting some kid calling him "nigga"
>black girl said she felt uncomfortable and scared
>bogus because she was fine with people who weren't white saying it
>but we were all in the same social class
she even lived in the richest side of town

Anyways that's the story of dumb Greek retard and an Arab elitist getting suspended for wearing a blue rag

>>741292952
Fuck u

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>>741292952
Ruh roh

>>741292952
fuuuck

>>741292952

>>741292952
damn

>>741292952
aye

>>741292952
df

>be me
>Grade 11
>Teachers kid so do whatever the fuck I want
>Friend brings JD to architecture class in a Sonic cup
>Four of us share it
>Light weight af so get real fucked up
>Have to piss
>In the bathroom when I hear something
>"Will you help me sir?"
>Nigga wat
>Open stall to investigate
>Find a phone playing voice recording on repeat
>Too drunk for good decisions
>Dial 911 on the phone
>"Someone's shooting @ 'my hs' send help quick!"
>Kek
>Cops, ambulance, fire trucks, town midwife all come
>Oh shit
>Building evacuated
>Play it cool
> All good
>Got out of calculus test
>Worth it

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>>741292952

>me at junior high
>teacher goes out
>we break the back of one seat and throw it to the window (we were in a 2nd floor"
>teacher comes 5 min after
>teacher sent all of us to the yard and make us run like 10 times around the yard
>she ask us who the fuck throw that wooden shit
>we accept it was us nobody get hurt but it was fun

>freshman year of high school
>school almost over, one month left
>no one gives a fuck
>go to very nice, rich, white high school
>school puts on a all tard basketball game for freshmans every year
>too many students to have all grades
>me and friends are terrible human beings
>start a gambling operation on which one of the tard teams will win
>I put down a shit load of money
>like five dollars
>game starts
>shit is intense
>every quite but me
>am in back screaming at the top of my lungs
>put my money down on the away team since it would give me the most return
>game almost over
>find out they rigged the game so the tards won't get their feelings hurt
>am mad as fuck
>nigga they aren't people they don't have feelings
>do this again sophomore year but keep our own score and live streamed it
>ditched class and snuck in
>Finna do it again this year

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Greentext thread, High School n' Uni Edition.
Ill start, with my High School Race War:
>>Be me
>>Freshman in highschool
>>Sleeps in classes, but somehow doesnt fuck up grades.
>>Went to take a piss during geometry when i saw a Brazillian and two white guys ganging up on a Cuban.
>>Im also Cuban
>>HispanicPride.exe
>>Breaks up the fight (i was twice the height of one of the white guys, and the other two were twigs
>>Brazillian tries to grab my neck
>>Tossed him into a locker, and he falls to the floor
>>Not getting up, but not unconscious, as i see him peeking as i handle the others
>>One guy flees, while the other punches my jaw
>>UnyieldingRage.jpg
>>Knock him to the floor, kick his dick in, and walk to the bathrooms
>>Turn around
>>"Say anything, and ill kill your asses. And dont you DARE touch any of my lads again."
>>Feeling autistic as hell from that, i took a piss, washed my hands, and walked back to class.
>>Mfw they really didnt tell anyone.
>>mfw got off scott-free.
Continue?

>>741329890
(Shameless bump of a thread that flopped. Still will post the rest tho)

>>741292952
reply

>>741292952
fuck u dud

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>>741329890
Go on anon.

>>741296218
>put bag on desk
We did that all the time, that's an old ass technique.

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>>741330399
>>sophomore year
>>Begin to notice full-on race tension after bro from earlier told his buddies about how i defended his ass
>>praised as hero to hispanics, and im respected by the eurofags and niggers for sticking it to the brazillian.
>>brazillians arent as happy. Shove me in the halls, try to trip me, minor shit.
>>Second semester, History class, where i sit in the middle.
>>Around me, are Three brazillian guys who despise me, Two hispanic girls (one thicc as hell, the other an actual landwhale.) A studious redneck girl (shocking, right?), and new venezuelan guy, who doesnt speak a word of english.
>>Venezuelan has a seizure
>>class is evacuated except for me and one brazillian, due to me knowing how to handle seizures (doctor in the family), and the brazillian was left to translate.
>>two different languages, but whatever.
>>guy comes to, thanking me in spanish, while brazillian guy keeps telling him to Relax in portuguese while flipping out.
>>wtf.txt
>>Waiting for paramedics, me and the venezuelan strike up a conversation.
>>Venezuelan tells me how he heard about me helping the Cuban guy, and wondered why i did it.
>>Shrug and tell him "No clue. I just felt like i had to."
>>Chuckles about how two white boys and a brazilian bitch-
>>Brazillian realizes hes talking shit about his people, and starts chewing him out
>>Tell him to fuck off
>>He doesn't
>>slam him in the jaw, and he hits the floor
>>Paramedics see two kids on the floor, one bleeding, and one covered in his own drool and foam
>>mfw
>>Venezuelan says brazillian tried to punch me, and i defended myself.
>>Brazillian is suspended for a couple days, venezuelan is sent to hospital, and i am called a hero by the class.
>>Redneck girl hugs me, and hispanic girl thanks me
>>Doesnt say anything in fear of looking autistic
>>Nods and walks away autistically
>>Mfw Racewar has begun thanks to me being a hotheaded jackass.

>>741292952
faggot

>>741292952
Ahhh fuck

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>>741330632
Just gonna continue this part.
Anyways. This is where the fun begins.
>Beginning of Junior Year
>Fights are more common, but the war is still unnoticed by the faculty
>Get a freshman girlfriend, blonde, taller than me, hot as hell, theatre nerd, and a bit of an aspie but its hardly noticable.
>girlfriend is a brazillian who hates brazillians, who is now dating one of their least favorite cuban guys (youll see why i said "one of" in a bit.)
>AbsoluteBlasphemy.png
>take her out on movie date, after a while of convincing her parents i had good intentions
>she and i planned to fuck in the back of the theatre.
>Mfw
>As we are walking to the theatre, i realize i forgot to buy drinks.
>"Babe, i forgot the drinks. Find us a seat while i get them, please?"
>Kisses my cheek, smiles, and walks to the theatre while turn around to grab our drinks
>Get in line, and i notice three buff senior brazillians talking to some of the guys at the front
>IveGotABadFeeling.rar
>Gets drink as they walk in, and see me.
>They move aside, at first; but are noticably following me and pointing
>Figures i can hide in the theatre
>As i turn the corner, i sprint to the room, and rush to the right one.
>i sit with her, and she looks concerned
>"Anon, you okay?"
>"Yeah, just figured i wouldnt waste time-"
>They walk in.
>Fuck all Kinds of shit, they were gonna kick my ass.
>Fuck it. Gonna die anyways.
>Stand up and walk to them, As my girl looks on.
>She stares in horror as they kick my ass, and two managers had to handle them.
>We all get kicked out due to "causing a scene"
>Mfw girl didnt dump me after that.

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>>741331519
>The next day, im telling my friends what happened.
>the divide has been clearly drawn. It was Blacks, Rednecks, and Spicks against Ghetto whites and Favela-Fags.
>a set of Redneck Twins pipe up, saying that they'll kick their ass.
>"Not worth it, guys. Itll only get us in trouble."
>Two black guys walk into the conversation, after hearing the brazillians side, and hearing the twins from afar.
>"The fuck you say, bitch?"
>Brazillians watching as the black guy gets up in the female twins face.
>male twin punches him
>fuck.
>Brawl ensues, and the redneck surprisingly wins, but the niggers tell us that they want no part in dealing with us anymore, if we let shit like that happen.
>Brazillians audibly laughing as they see them bail
>mfw these fucking favela-fags.
Moar?

>>741297995
Upvoted

>>741300268
Upvoted

>>741292952
Fuk

>>741302733
Upvoted

>>741331800
Upvoted

>>741331616
>>741331711
>>741331824
>>741332416
U
P
V
O
T
E
D

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>/b/ me
>6th grade
>barely started a new middleschool since mother remarried a guy who lived in a different city
>became teachers pet and alot of people liked me actually
>one day, close to end of year, teacher asks me and a good friend to please go clear out all
>fuckyes.jpeg
>gave us the codes to all the lockers
>shit was going well
>open a locker
>find marinuana and xanax pills
>holyshit.gif
>tell the teacher about it
>kid responsible was easy to find due to all lockers being registered

To this day i still wonder how bad i fucked up that kids life.

>>>Also

Kid ended up getting in a fight earlier that day and when the principal wanted to break them up, he punched the principal in the face, so i can only imagine what he'd want to do with me

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>>741332673
Holy shit them typos, batman

>8th grade
>gym class
>I am dicking around in the locker room with the boys
>NO GAY
>decided it would be funny if I climbed into the ceiling
>stay up there for like 5 minutes
>Ight I'm down here, start coming down
>someone says teacher is coming in
>pass it off as bullshit
>teacher comes in he spots my leg dangling from the ceiling
>this nigga mad
>get sent to the office
>get banned from the locker room for the rest of the year
>have to change in bathroom outside gym

>>741292952
Stinky

>be senior in hs
>part of small outcast group of nerds and all around weirdos
>year is nearly up, senior prank planning time
>hear popular kids post "prank" schedule online
>friend reads it
>stupid as all fuck
>pajama day, bring paper towel rolls etc
>fuck that
>I have a better plan
>me and 2 friends buy liquid ass on Amazon
>spend week stealth spraying everything
>about halfway through popular kids catch on and start doing it too
>on last day kids asking everyone to stop because some sorta veterans memorial day thing
>nobody suspects the nobodies
>as I walk out of that school for the last time I dump remaining half of bottle in main entrance
>probably my greatest acheivement

anyone still around here?
i've got a good story but dont want to greentext it out if nobody is here

>>741333144
Drop that shit nigga

>>741333144
Post it

>>741333144
Yep

>>741333144
fuck it i'm gonna do it anyways

>be me
>be sophomore in high school
>little edgy not bad
>pretty computer savvy
>also known as the kid that will argue with any teacher or call them out for doing stupid shit
>dontgiveafuck.jpeg
>so one day we are taking standardized tests on computers(only like 4 years ago im 18 now)
> get done with test super quick cause I'm pretty smart
> get bored real quick
>decide to practice my VBS skills
>open notepad and whip up a little script that just pops up error boxes in a loop
>the message I made it say was the attack helicopter copypasta
>I gave the error message priority over all other programs so it stays up no matter what
>when they X out of it it's on a loop so it just makes a new one
>only way to get rid of it is to turn the computer off and on again or ctrl-alt-delete log off
>thought it was a good little meme and the IT guys would have a good laugh
>get called down to the office later that day
>see 2 IT guys and one of the assistant principals that I've rekt a few times before so he doesn't like me
>"anon you destroyed a computer! you really did it this time. if you can't fix it in 5 minutes I'm suspending for destruction of school property"
>I start laughing uncontrollably
>'YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY! YOU BROKE SCHOOL PROPERTY"
>go "fix" computer
>he's now convinced i uploaded a virus
> i write another block of code infront of him and show him what it does
>ohfuckcomputerscandothat.mp3
>he's baffled at my knowledge of tech
>Don't really get in trouble but he threatened me with detention and i said "no I didn't do anything wrong, your employess are just incompetent"
>doesn't give me detention because he knows I'll tell his boss he's a dumb fuck

>>741297995
Wild

>>741292952
spic

>>741292952
:/

File: IMG_1782.png (123KB, 640x1136px) Image search: [Google]

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Oh boy kiddos Do I have a Story for you.

>Be Me
>Senior in High School
>Have liberal feminist teacher
>Trump Just got inaugurated
>Liberal Teahcer decides to show us a documentary about how women are oppressed in 3rd world countries
>Notice that in Hillary is on the documentary since it's being shown on amazon and amazon shows you the cast
>Have a Trump supporting friend sitting next to me
>Suggest that whenever Hillary shows up we Chant "lock her up"
>He agrees and the rest of the table gets in on it
>Documentary starts and just when Hillary shows up we start chanting
>"Lock Her Up! Lock Her Up!"
>We did this as quietly as we could
>Continued for the rest of the documentary
>Teacher eventually notices and gives Us a warning
>mfw I pulled it off

More stories?

>>741292952
Fuck you

>>741292952
fuck you stupid nig

One day during my freshman year there was a threat of our school getting bombed that same day. They all hudduled us into the auditorium to tell us that before escorting the school outside.

That's it.

(The bomb was a ruse to easily rob a nearby local bank.)

>>741292952
Ok

>>741292952
fuckin kek

>>741292952

> Me when 13
> Girl from school 10
> invited to apartment for sleepover
> end up going under the bed for some reason
> she's spooning me. I'm big spoon
> she grabs my hand and moves it on her soft belly
> as soon as I feel her skin I pull back
> dad walks in and tells us her mom says she can't sleepover
> RIP

>>741292952
the fuck is a k-12

>>741334940
>be me 17
>same girl 15
>my sister is still friends with their family
> we're staying over to watch the premier of the last Harry Potter movie or something
>tell my sister to tell her I like her
> my sister tells me she said I'm more like a family member
> became a /b/ro

I've got a long as fuck story, post in a dying thread or make a new one?
the choice is yours /b/ros

>>741334420
no faggot

>>741292253
>Be me
>8th grader
>Goes to teachers' office for some overdue homework
>Goes up the stairs
>Horrible smell spreading across the hall
>Some faggot got diarrhoea and sprayed all over his class
>He runs towards the toilet, liquid shit still dripping
>Didn't come back to school that week

>>741292952
nigger

>be me
>grade seven
>script kiddie
>always run batch files i 'made' on the school computers
>one day discover creating a shortcut to a network drive gave you access to everyones files, including teachers
>create batch file that spews out random numbers then opens the file
>bring to school
>run it
>friends think im a hacker
>next day
>i converted the batch file to an exe
>bring to school again, tell my friends i made a version 2 tool
>plug in my usb
>big fucking warning comes up
>"virus detected"
>ohfuck.jpg
>unplug usb
>run and hide it in bag
>1hr later
>IT man comes in
>"anon please give me your usb"
>go to bag
>see someones usb on the ground
>take that to him
>he plugs it in
>asks me a bunch of questions
>tell him i dont know, the usb is my school stuff
>he belives me
really dodged a bullet that day

another time i also needed my password reset, walked into his office to have him quickly close out of something in chrome

>>741335717
Cracker Jack

>>741304298
Some similar happened to me this year.
>be me
> dress emo as fuck
> friends and kind of friends have inside
>joke that I'm gonna shoot up the school
> make jokes about it all time
> decides to make another one
> gets airsoft gun and takes a Instagram picture
> makes it black and white and writes see you at school tomorrow
>nexts moring wake to cop and he tells me he has a report of a gun
>yells at him that it is just a joke
> I go down to the station and get interviewed
> guy keeps asking me if I have any weapons and I keep telling him to check him self
> I get handcuffed and sent to a youth center where I get interviewed again and then I go home
> lady says I probably don't have to go to court
> gets supspensed for the last 5 days of school
> btw I do have to go to court tomrow very early but I can't sleep

>>741336278
that sucks anon,
>one time me and some friends were playing with airsoft rifles
>live in white neighborhood so it's chill
> a cop pulls up
>we all put the airsoft rifles on the ground because we know its dumb to point at a cop or even hold.
>dickhead cop gets out of his car with gun drawn
>yells at us to kick the guns toward him
>okbud.jpg
>he proceeds to tell us we could have been shot
>"but officer we all put the on the ground when you pulled up because we aren't dumb"
>"shutup kid"
> cop then goes and talks to my friends mom(we were at his house)
>she tells the cop he's a fucktard(no exaggeration here, his moms fucking amazing)
>he leaves and tells us don't do that
>we played that game (border patrol) alot more after that because we wanted him to come again so we could videotape it
>never happened tho

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> Be me sophomore year of high school
> Have little group of nerd friends I hang out with and talk about vidya with during lunch
> New kid shows up earlier in the week, moved in from Arizona
> Big guy, not built, just naturally large
> As I am skinny tall boy
> New kid ust sitting at a table by his lonesome
> Decide to try and be friends with the potential fag got since he hadn't joined any other groups yet
> Give the usual BS intros of names and such, his name is Joseph
> I am and poorfag and no have no money in my lunch account for school
> Live off the generosity of my friends giving me their unwanted apples and bread rolls
> Friend Matthew says he isnt too hungry andndccount no says I can have his pj&j
> FuckingJackpot.jpg
> Tosses me sandwich
> Mfw Joseph and I both reach for it
> Niggerwhatisyoudoing.exe
> "Joseph, let go of the sandwich."
> "No"
> He and I gradually tighten our grip on the sandwich, not wanting the other to be able to break it free
> Eventually isn't even about the sandwich, but more on who is the butch between the two of us
> Epic clash of the tats
> We both feel a sticky paste ooze between our fingers
> Wtf
> Agree to let go of sandwich
> Damm thing got turned into a bag of mush, not even any bit of bread remains
> We both laugh hysterically at our ducking retardation and move on to class as lunch ends

And from then on he and I became best bro's

>>741292952

fuck off

>>741336930
I ducking hate mobile and it's god damn auto correct
> Battle of the tats
Ducking kill me

>>741336278
>country full of psychos with guns
>pretends to be one (probably is one)
>wonders why everyone freaks out and forces you to get the minimum required to let you back out in society
no sympathy fag just kill yourself already you wouldn't even beat chos high score

>school has a "womanless beauty pagent"
>guys dress up as girls and basically answer questions and try to make people laugh
>my friends and I sign up, and plan on fighting each other during the dance segment
>I'm Miss Wyoming, so I'm last to be on the stage and questioned
>I can see my friends are pussying out of the fight
>I already planned on getting kicked out of the event
>standing in front of whole school in a dress, hairy legs and new fro shining proudly in the florescent lights of the auditorium
>the guy asking the questions was like "if you could be any animal, what would you be?"
>I take the mic and say " a dinosaur"
>some kids in the audience chuckle
>he asks me why would I be a dinosaur
>"because they have big dinosaur dicks"
>kicked out of the auditorium by the teacher who planned the thing and suspended for 3 days
>have to return to get my backpack
>audience is clapping and I hear some friends chanting my name

Best day of senior year

>>741304298
underage faggot

>be me
>one of the first days of 7th grade
>have to take huge shit after lunch
>proceed to take huge shit
>walk out of bathroom in busy hallways
>jock older kids point and laugh at me saying I'm the kid who was taking a huge shit
>being a little faggot just kinda laugh and wave
>die on inside and decide 7th grade sucks