Claim a super power, others nerf it. Go. >the ability to fly

>>740952079
Can never land

>>740952079
The ability to defecate live grenades

>>740952372
Constant piles

The ability to go Super Saiyan and all that comes with it.

Can shoot fireballs from hands.

>>740952079
Only into buildings
>shape shifting

ability to transform everything into hotdogs

>>740952549
Dick is a hot dog

>>740952510
>only when wiping you're asshole

>>740952502
you defecate a live grenade
>>740952549
Each hot dog has a explosive that will detonate

>>740952510
> can't not shoot fireballs from hands
> constantly

Immunity to kill your mother threads.

Can pee actual lemonade

>>740952079
Only when you have diarrhea
>>740952372
You also now have uncontrollable diarrhea
>>740952502
You will also now have super diarrhea and all that comes with it
>>740952510
Ab equal amount of diarrhea comes out of your other hand whenever you shoot fireballs

>>740952602
It explodes into confetti

Can single handedly make America great again

>>740952602
>Each hot dog has a explosive that will detonate
dude that's a buff
hotdog warfare

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>>740952372
I don't think that ability needs much nerfing because that sounds dangerous as fuck.
Plus you don't get to wipe because you have to run for your life.
Well, let's make it intresting: You don't know which type of grenade.
>The ability to spawn angry hives of wasps

>>740952657
> can't filter toxins from your blood. require permanent dialysis.

>>740952632
>Immunity to kill your mother threads
post only in trap threads

>>740952657
the lemonade can only be peed into your hands

>>740952662
>> ability to shitpost
>> can only post about shit

>>740952632
>Immunity to kill your mother threads.
But you have to captcha 6 times for every post

>>740952079
the ability to walk through open doors

>>740952782
shit. I already have to captcha 6 times for every post

>>740952079
I have the ability to repel niggers. Literally they will not come near me, even if I'm on a bike with tits made of watermelons and the seat was KFC.

>>740952790
You're an amputee

Mind control/super-persuasion

The ability to sex literally anyone (Including celebs , 2D waifus , etc)
>Self emposed nerf
>Every time you sex a different chick your dick shrinks by 1cm

>>740952821
you have to sacrifice a child every night

>>740952815
Enjoy your free super power :>

>>740952790
Everytime got go thru an open door your mom dies in her sleep.

>>740952821
> you are a nigger. the nigger king. they cannot come near because you will steal their niggerness and add it to your own

Ressurect dead people

>>740952870
nerf it. not give it a bonus. damn.

>>740952870
How is that a nerf? That sounds fun!

>>740952933
>By fucking them

>>740952821
You're an overweight neckbeard browsing /pol/ that stinks worse than the worst nigger smell in the entire history of uganda, kenya and marocco, so they'd avoid you if you ever left your basement which doesn't happen.
>the ability to cook 1 minute rice in 59 seconds

>>740952933
but only old nude people

>>740952905
His mom has no eye lids

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the ability to praise our lord and savior

>>740952987
but only when you sin

>>740952973
>You have to eat it in the remaining second or it rots

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>>740952968

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>>740952918

I shit bit coins

>>740952860
>choose one and you're good
that's not even a nerf

>>740952987
>You immidietly getting 6 different types of autism , the downs , and lose any ability to not be a retard at all times.

>>740952973
Nigger/SJW libcuck spotted!

>>740952859
Not sure what "super-persuasion" is, so i'll only answer mind control:
All your vital signs stop when controling someone else, you have to be revived afterwards, or you'll die. You'll also get brain damage when doing this for too long for obvious reasons.

>>740953031
nigger no niggering

>ability to persuade literally anyone to do anything

>>740953046
>Implying anyone anywhere wouldnt bang 400 different chicks off the top of their waifu list if they had the ability to do so

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the ability to heal OP from his faggotry

>>740952079
The ability to turn into a loli
>invest getting fucked by fight tentacles clad niggers

>>740953153
In doing so, you become the ultimate OP faggot.

>>740953136
>But only while taking a shit in public

the ability to have any ability i want.

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the ability to hack into everything with one mouseclick

>>740953068
>File: IMG_5261.jpg (106 KB, 400x482)
play less mtg anon

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>>740952632
But only if you reply to this comment

>>740953225
but you're gay

>>740953199
Hold on miss, we're gonna fuck, I just need to shit infront of you. Trust me, you won't resist.

>>740953225
>All other abilities in existence that youre not currently using are given to your enemies

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>>740953160
>>invest getting fucked by fight tentacles clad niggers
you lose your ability to form cohesive sentences in another thread or something?

>>740952542
You can only shift into a gay man's dildo

>Immortality

>>740953252
You become an autistic neckbeard who lives at home until age 95 or they die, whichever is first.

>>740953252
>From your phone

>>740953252
You become an autistic neckbeard who lives at home until age 95 or they die, whichever is first.

>>740953225
But only when FUCKING niggers

>>740953252
you live in nepal and don't know what a computer is
>The ability to fart out of your dick on command.

>>740953323
>You lose all limbs

>>740953323
But you live in an empty, meaningless void.

>can solve any captcha instantly

the ability to control luck

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>>740953252
> have to catch the mouse first

>>740953303
Yeah it's my phone. Autocorrect is a bitch.
>inb4 getting fucked by fifty tentacle clad niggers
Better?

>>740953426
Your farts are poisonous

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>>740953323
but existence is meaningless

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The power to get dubs

>>740953432
but can only post in trap and twink threads

>>740953476
Your have to post CP to get dubs

>>740952670
>Can single handedly make America great again
prone to assassination

>>740953434
>But every night , a spider will crawl into your mouth

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>>740953303
He's fapping to the throught, give him a minute. He will inform you what he was trying to write when he's done.

The ability to melt steel beams with jet fuel.

>>740953153
>but you'll become a fag then.
The ability of getting rid of your bullshit, user who's reading this shit and probably gonna comment with a normie bs.

>>740953472
kek'd too hard

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>>740953539
>>740953476

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>>740953434
you get raped by gary busey everytime you use your ability

>>740953545
You have to be an orange faggot who nobody likes.

>>740953465

....to you

>>740952079
The ability to control all the grass within 3 feet of me.

>>740953545
you can only assassinate your family members

>Will never be wounded

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>>740953580
but you still did 9/11
>the ability to create whole universes at your will

>>740953641
>You can never smoke it

>>740953599
geeesus krist

>>740953641
But the grass becomes packaged bags of weed in the presence of any authority figure.

>>740953673

But emotional trauma is 100x more effective

>>740953641
For every blade of grass you control, ten will sprout from your cockle, or vag if you think you gotta one

>>740953717
But every single one is filled with cucks

>>740953717
every time you do the residents get tired of your shit and crucify you

>>740953717

They are always populated by furries

>>740953641
But you have an inoperable brain tumor.

>>740953782
I knew we were living in the darkest timeline

teleportation

The power to become a literal god.

> can turn any food into a better tasting version by snapping

>>740953758
>If you think you got one
>think
Since when did vaginas become a matter a faith
>Inb4 since we added 420 sexes to the autism spectrum
>The ability to eradicate sjws , feminists , gendertransformers , and the like

>>740953849

You don't exist

>>740952079
Can legally get out of anything

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the ability to summon demons to do your bidding

>>740953845
>but you can only teleport into furry conventions.

>>740953849
>but only while sleeping

>>740953845
Can only teleport 2 inches in any direction.

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>>740953717
The universes will all develop thowards spreading the word of feminism out to all galaxies unless you crush them again.

>>740953860
but it turns into poison

>>740953860
> can turn any food into a better tasting version by snapping
>your cock off and jerking it onto the food like a pepper mill

>>740953845

Can only teleport unto closed rooms, locked from the outside

>>740953893
You get blamed for whatever they do.

>>740953915
is there a cooldown?

>>740953893
only in exchange that they fuck your ass for every request

>>740952737

Underrated nerf, kek'd.

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>>740953849
but your followers are goat fuckers
>the ability to become the third bogdanoff

>>740953893
They rape you after they do your bidding.

(If you're bidding is for them to rape you, they just kick your shit in)

>>740953893
But they cannot interact with anything but you.

>>740953939
Holy shit, lost

>>740953849
Some angry faggot will come to kill you.

>>740953956
1 second, and you do get physically tired.

The power to smell when anyone is arroused

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>>740953849
>>740954028
forgot the pic

>>740952079
the ability to control my penis

be one punch man

>>740954068
it smells like the armpit of a body positivity protester

The ability to not be gay

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You can absorb all the knowledge from a book by simply touching it.

>>740954068
>But everyone can smell when you're aroused
>And you are always aroused

>>740954068
but become repulsive to everyone

>>740954098

The penis will argue with you the whole time you control it

>the ability to read almost anything out loud inhumanely fast

>>740954068
Your smell radius is 500m and it smells super intense.

>>740952079
i have the ability to detect newfags

>>740954141
but it only works on jamie olivers cookbook

>>740952697
Kek

>>740954141

You forget anything you learned yesterday when absorbing a new book

>>740954068
its smell like an amplified version of a shit , rotten eggs , stale farts , dead fish vaginas , piss , and various other disgusting odors combined

>>740954098
you're a woman

>>740954154
You are autistic

>>740952695
They know you were the one to summon them and they resent you for it.
>The ability to create pocket universes, wherein I can manipulate matter into anything I want.

>>740954141
But you have to do it as long as it would take you to read it

>>740954154
but become mute after 10 seconds

>>740954100
You have a community consisting of literal autists and manchildren.

>>740954141
but you're banned from the public library

>>740954175

No-one will believe you, everyone calls you a newfag

The ability to go to LFE early

>>740954100
>Have no arms

>>740954175
It makes your ears ring loudly whenever you see a newfag's post

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>>740953983
but you're banned from Ft. Bog

The ability to stop time

>>740954154
But you then have to read the entirety of the bee movie script at a normal pace immediately after you use your ability

>>740952695
The hive is located in your asshole.

>the ability to read minds.

>>740954302
But only relative to yourself

>>740954133
only attracted to lizards of the same gender

>>740954302
you're stopped as well

>>740954206
>The ability to create pocket universes, wherein I can manipulate matter into anything I want...
>As long as it's shaped like a dick

>>740954302
Buy you can never start it again.

>>740954323
>but it's a two way connection

the ability to make women's pussy wet

>>740954370
what's the nerf here?

>>740954206
You aren't very good at the manipulation thing and find it boring at some point and forget about the whole thing. Much later you realize that your universe actually lives, but is really really gay. If you make it public putin and trump will both nuke you to prevent the gayness from spreading.

>>740954323

You can only hear the bad things people are thinking about you

>>740954302
during stop mode, you leak a constant unstoppable trail of shit behind you

>>740952079
Can excrete pheromones that attract the opposite sex making them lustful

>>740954405
>but the pussy juse floods the general area

>>740954302
>By fucking your mothers corpse
The ability to bring your waifu to life

>>740954430
but kills them

Super Ki abilities

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The ability to NEVER have to sleep, you have all 24 hours in a day to get shit done. (Or not get shit done.)

>>740952198
Just float forever like 3 inch above ground

>>740954430
Only works on pre op trans

>>740954430
They all want to fuck you, NOW.

>>740954406
Imagine stopping time and not being able to start it again. You can't watch a movie because the light would never travel. No internet. No social interaction. Nothing but you in a world of mannequins.

>>740954405

>TOO wet.

>waterfall sprays from vagina

>>740954468
But she doesn't like you

>>740954405
but you also have a 8 inch cock and glorious, shiny, balls. also, your cum tastes like champagnemouse

>>740954501
Only if you sleep for 10 years straight

>>740954468
but she cucks you with every nigger in town

>>740954501
But you're always tired as fuck

>>740954501
You are always sleep deprived

>>740954501
you still look tired to others

>>740954468
But she hates you

Being high on meth all the time without ever having to take any.

>>740954430
This works especially well on women over the age of 80 and can't be turned off.

>>740954513
if we're talking straight science you and the entire universe would also be dead because no particles would move.

doesn't need a nerf.

>>740954608
The cops think you have meth

>>740954608
But you OD and die two seconds after using the power

>>740952079
the ability to bring Hitler back from the dead

>>740952632
>immunity to kill your mother threads
because your mother is already dead

>>740954608
also suffer negative effects of doing meth

Can make anyone have sex with you

>>740954678
He becomes a Hillary supporter

>>740954608
Other meth heads can smell it on you and get angry at you for holding out on them.

>>740954678
but he's fed up and doesn't want to gas the kikes anymore

>>740954707
As long as they're 90+ years old

>>740954406
If you're stuck in a world that doesn't move there's two possible outcomes:
Realistically speaking: You're immediately blind, suffocate at some point because atoms don't move, freeze because not moving atoms is physically speaking EXTREMELY cold.
Now if we ignore all that shit and you still get to live normally, you're stranded at a place without interaction forever until you starve or die of old age. No matter what you do, you'll be alone for the rest of your life.
>inb4 but i hate humans >:(
If you think so, then spend the holidays alone in a very rural area and see how that treats you. I didn't believe it myself, but after days of not hearing a single human i got really really lonely. Humans are social creatures after all.

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Can pick up any instrument and play it

>>740954495
>>740954501
>>740954238
>>740954100
>>740954068

but your dick has to be sucked by a woman giving birth every time you want to use it

The abillity to rip a fat vape

>>740954765
Everyone thinks you play like shit

>>740954549
???

>>740952372
never make it to pull pants down in time

the power to kill all jews, niggers and other degenerates

>>740954797
You can only vape 100mg/ml e-juice

the ability to bitch slap Kanye West

>>740952079
With your eyes closed

>>740954830
You are a degenerate niggerjew.

>>740954830
But every time you kill them, twice as much appear

>>740954765
You can only play hanson songs.

>>740954760
literally no particle would move so the temperature of everything would be 0°K. you wouldn't live. you'd be instantly dead. you're dumb and wrong

>>740954797
you have to do it with your anus

>>740954760
>If you think so, then spend the holidays alone in a very rural area and see how that treats you. I didn't believe it myself, but after days of not hearing a single human i got really really lonely. Humans are social creatures after all
who gives a shit, you'd die from power plants and food companies not doing anything anymore

>>740954868
would deserve it then

>>740954862
He always slaps you back harder

>>740952079
the ability to summon Cthulhu & Jesus

>>740954830
But only if you're balls deep in a jew/nigger/degenerate

>>740954549
Is that supposed to be a nerf?

mind control

>>740954952
worth the sacrifice

The ability to come up with origonal ideas for powers.

>>740954979
But only in outside in the rain

The ability to have my parents love me.

>>740953849
The god of porta pottys

>>740954942
But they're just ordinary humans with no divine/otherworldly knowledge or abilities

>>740954999
the nerf will be "but you're a nigger" every single time

>>740954999
but you forget 2 words of your vocabulary for every power you think about

>>740954999
You can never share what they are.

>>740954979

It has a cooldown timer of 1 day and only lasts for 30 seconds

the ability to have no one see that you're stoned

>>740954999
But no one gives a shit about you on the thread and ignores you

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>>740955023
lol that will never happen

>>740955079
but you can't get stoned

>>740955079
but everyone smells it

>>740955078
fuck off skyrim

ability to understand niggers language

>>740955164
you are a nigger

>>740954894
Nobody said he couldn't bring a space suit or some shit. I'm sure you could arrange something that would work out.
>>740954931
What kind of "argument" is that?

>>740955164
but you forget all civilized languages

>>740955164
Can only understand niggers language

>>740955164
you have to speak in it

>>740955164
They welcome you within their ranks and you're surrounded by niggers all day

>>740952079
invisibility.

The ability to cure autism

>>740955247
Your genitals are still visible

>>740955247
In constant pain

>>740955258
but you're autistic

>>740955189
are you actually retarded?
if time stops, N O T H I N G moves. no fucking suit or radiator help you here. there is no way. all of those things consist of particles. non moving particles with 0 energy. everything is 0°K. everything is dead. not even quantum fluctuation happens at this point. there would be absolute 0 energy in the entire universe. you're dumber than I thought

>>740955258
with a gun

>>740955304
fuck off physicfag

>>740955258
You do it by taking it from people and putting it into yourself.

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the ability to have friends

>>740955337
you started being pseudo scientific. might as well go all the way you daft nigger

>>740955415
but they're all in your head

>>740955415
But you become a normie

>>740952510
Can only do it after consuming a red flower

>>740955304
But we established that the body can move (otherwise this "superpower" would be simply suicide), so we can conclude the rules of no atomic movement does not apply to the body. If we wanna be nice we might also apply it to whatever he brings so he can actually do something.
Faggot.

>>740955415
You're the friend they keep around to make fun of.

The abiliy to talk to Lain

The ability to successfully revive old memes

>>740952821
You are a nigger

>>740952079
the ability to remember all verb 1,2 & 3 and understand 1st, 2nd & 3rd conditional and understand past perfect continuous tense (yes im serious im learning english right now)

>>740955468
would be quite a nerf though

>>740955551
You lose the ability to enjoy them.

>>740955504
You don't know who that is

>>740955504
>>740955551
Fucking trips and quads

Have an >200 IQ

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>>740955415
You and your 'friends always have 2 meters of distance between eachother.

>reality warping powers

>>740952079
can cook better than Gordon Ramsay