Weirdest places you've ever masturbated?

>>740706243
In a public restroom back when i was 15

In the back of a bus hidden by my jacket. I was 10.

OP here,me in the principals office during detention

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In a woman's vagina.

>>740706243
In your mom's bedroom...on your mom.

>>740706243
in my grandparents living room while i was house sitting.

at work in the VIP bathroom in one of the high paying customers wifes socks

I have a slightly weird ritual thing where I have to masturbate in the bathroom of every company i start working for and then not flush the toilet. have done it for my last 5 jobs

>>740706243
Backstage at church when I was 14.

>>740706416
>>740706573
>>740706726
>>740706893
Literally done all of these and moar get on my level fgts

Moving car, riding shotgun. I-70 coming back from snowboarding and my friend said I was too chicken to do it. Proved her wrong.

in a office storage space, onto a metal storage rack

School bus in the middle of the night on the way home from some trip. I was on the outside against the window and had a bunch of suitcases or something between me and the isle. Snuck my hand in and went to town.

>>740706243
To completion? In the parking lot before work when I worked at Walmart...

Didn't finish is worse. 9th grade my teacher was sick and no sub... Got sent to the music room of my school and told to sit at the piano as to not disturb class. No work prepared so I kinda just played pocket pool out of boredom.

More interesting places for sex, but you faggots never believe those so ill leave it at that.

>>740707202
She wanted it

>>740706663
Found the 12 yo

>>740707460
I wound up marrying and divorcing her.

don't stick your dick in crazy

>>740707512
very observant of you

>>740707543
Ah makes sense

Weirdest place I've jacked off was in a Buddhist temple, but it was in a urinal so it's not even that bad

Hell I wasn't even Buddhist what the fuck was I even doing there?

1. In my middle school classroom during a test
2. In my boss's chair at work

treading water in a lake

I once masturbated my finger
thats the weirdest place i've ever masturdbated
masturbatesd my pooper too
masturbated my penis

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>at a church camp
>spent like 20 minutes in "silent time"
>I'm in a room with about 20 people and it's pitch black
>I lean back in my chair and start beating my meat
>use my index Middle finger and thumb
>I start to imagine fucking the ginger girl the the fat ass I had seen 5 minutes earlier
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>cum buckets in my pajama pants

Pic related...the ass I beat my meat to

>innawoods, about 15 feet up a tree
>back of a van, family road trip, at night, covered by a blanket. Then asked to stop and use the restroom and came in the toilet to avoid cumming in my pants and having to ride the rest of the way like that.
>restroom at school in like 10th grade

>>740706243
Eh another one... Kinda
>>740707432
>my dad was an alcoholic for the longest time
>was jerking it to some edgy emo porn like my faggot self
>hear door start to open
>throw covers over myself
>literally cum shortly after my dad is talking to me

Alcoholic part comes in here

>went on a month long alcohol binge watching only bad Santa over and over again
>I was a stoner at the time so he'd occasionally walk in and say his favorite quote

"someone drop you on your head?"
>I'd reply
"on my head? How can someone drop me onto my own head?"
>he'd burst into laughter and say
"not onto... What the fuck is wrong with you?!!! Are you fucking with me?!"

>didn't happen that night. Told him to fuck off

someone bump my thread is dying :(

I masturbated once in a hospital parking lot in the passenger seat of my friend's car when we had another friend in the hospital. Literally as soon as I finished she came out to the car. Didn't see it, tho.

>>740708347
>not bumping it yourself

At work. When I was 20, I worked for a little mom and pop electronics store in Bumfuck, Nevada. The owner had a little rack of VHS porn movies in the back, and occasionally after I'd clean someone's VCR, I'd throw one of those tapes in and clean the pipes.

>>740706416
>>740706573
Low tier
>>740706633
>>740706893
Mid tier
>>740706663
Top tier

>>740708525
Not too bad, after all you have to test the VCR and make sure it still works after you clean it. Might as well enjoy it fam.

>>740706243
living room with both my mom and sister sitting on the couch right next to me. I tried to hide it by placing a blanket over my lap and say that it was cold despite it being the middle of summer.
I dont think it worked

>>740708564
the back of the bus one deserves mid tier

i like the word bump and am righting this sentence for no other reason

>>740708699
Yeah I was debating whether it goes in mid or low, then again I've seen someone cum on a girl's hair in a bus hence the low.

>>740708699

Wayne Gretzky has spoken.

>>740708738
yes i also like the word

>>740708824
bump

>Be me
>21
>Kissless virginfag
>Average guy, not fat
>Fapped every other day since i can remember
>Download tinder app
>Match some qt3.14
>Start chatting
>Going alright
>Ask to come over and she agrees
>Wait till parents go out
>She comes over
>Awkward at first but soon settle as i put a film on
>Start kissing
>hellyeah.jpg
>She says its ok she knows im a virginfag and she likes it
>Starts rubbing my leg
>Sits on top of me still making out
>Unbuttons my shirt
>Kisses my chest
>Boner through the roof
>Take off her top
>Big whopping tatas loving it
>Pulls down my trouser and starts BJ
>Trying not to come
>Pull her head away
>Give it 2 mins
>She is moaning so loud
>No longer thinking about climaxing
>Going as hard as i can white knight
>She is wailing in pleasure
>Wailing
>She is a whale
>Blubber everywhere
>Tells me to stick finger in blowhole
>I do it, so moist
>Harpoon so hard roodypoo cant fine me
>Hear front door open
>Voice outside "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"
>Mom opens door
>Gets on the floor
>Walk the dinosaur

This is by far my best thread.

>>740708868
if you didn't copy and paste this I feel sorry for you

>>740708347
I'm fucking trying faggot.

>>740707432
>>740708332


Few other places I've done this shit
>when I was 13 in my doctor's office parking lot
>in my ex's bathroom when she hit me with a dry spell
>in my friend's room when he was asleep... Wearing panties as well like a degenerate
That's about the worst I've done masterbaiting....

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>>740708868

>>740706243
Whilst driving to work.
This is at like 5am though so it kinda doesn't count.

Worst I've done is only my friends sisters room

E

>>740709383
wat

In my friends bed while he was asleep next to me. Im not gay I was just bored and couldn't go to sleep.

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>>740709253
Her

>>740709383

= mc2

>>740709455
I do that sorta often tbh

>>740709455
in my room, when it was my birthday party
i was a kid
my mom caught me

>>740709523

You jerk off in his friend's bed?

>>740709523
Yeah thats weird that you do it often. I only did it once when I was 15 so

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>>740709612
>jerk off
>get spanked
seems like a cool birthday

>>740709614
Yes. Then his mom caught me. Guess it turned her on.

In the church bathroom. I was in a stall and I think the other boys saw me. I was like 10 and my body just started producing jizz at the time.

>>740709758

Were the priests all over you after that?

>>740709614
Yes

>>740709703
I usually just go to his bathroom. But I get lazy sometimes.

Like 14 in a middle school library.

In a church. Found a basket of hand puppets and came inside it. Obviously the church wasn't in session and I was alone. Felt like a middle finger to Christianity. I think I was 13 or 14.

>>740709803
To my knowledge, nobody ever found out. The thrill on jizzing in a sacred place was unheared of until that moment for me. I was rope shooting at 10 years old.

in the family pacifica during a road trip. brother was asleep next to me and had a jacket over me. stealth +100

>>740710082
of*

my penis

Probably a hotel public pool, I was like 13, I would go underwater and stare a girls asses while jerking off lol, later I would wonder if guys/girl would eat my cum while swimming in the pool and getting water in their mouths

>>740706243
>public hot tub
>airplane lavatory
>under bridge
>off the grand canyon
>cathedral
>while driving
>during high school sex ed
>on a dance floor
>at a elementary school
>at a preschool
>holocaust museum
I organised it form least to most intense in my opinion

>>740710371
wow such edge i could never be this cool

>>740706243
The attic of a church

While driving home one night.

>>740710314
that is good tie4

>>740710536
tier*

In my car on the highway, while driving home from work in rush hour traffic.
Didn't cum tho, didn't want to have to clean it up.

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>be me
>be deployed in Afghanistan
>have to release balloons every night to track wind changes for howitzer
>finish balloon bullshit, look right
>berm overlooking ANA (Afghan national army) camp attached to FB (fire base)
>pissed at them for attempting to blow up the gym a few weeks prior
>climb up berm, whip out rock
>gun in one hand aiming it randomly at fuckers walking by, dick in other hand
>jizzbomb.jpeg on their camp
>mfw ANA fag walks by and sees what I'm doing

>>740709730
well
she didnt spank me
just reprehend me
she almost never did spank her children
nobody where i live liked when someone spanked their children

she was a bitch sometimes
when i was a fucking kid
she would tell me that she was going to tell everyone that i used to fap constantly if i did it

>>740706243

laundry room when i was playing hide and seek

>>740706243
in my advertising/design class. i was the first one there that morning and was horny as fuck.started jingling my keys in plain sight hoping one of the fine ass girls in my class would walk in

blew a load in my hand and wiped it on the carpet. pretty uneventful really.

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>>740710714

>>740709007
Oh yea... This too
>>740710580
Only, rather than rush hour traffic..

>big snow storm hit
>truck went sideways on the hill I take home
>too lazy to take the interstate root
>chose instead to fap to porn while waiting to move

Laundromat, bar, work bathroom.. best when 14 walking down street... 5am.. delivering papers... Bust nut.. about 15 min later cross street come back hitting customers on other side.. dude opens door laughing.. says I need girl... Alpha me says got any? He says any what.. I say girls.. wife daughter.. what ever.. he's not laughing any more.. tells me fuck off.. 30 years later.. laugh.. proud of 14 year old me owning him...

>>740706243
During music class.

Once fapped into my friend's sister's dirty panties while in his bathroom. Fun time.

>>740706243
When I was in high school I had to walk through a national park to get to the train station. On the way home I would stop in a certain spot. Underneath a shady tree by a clearing, it was all rocky with a stream running through the middle. I would sometimes take a dump, and masturbate when I was done, or just masturbate if I didn't need to shit.

My cousin jerked me off in her room once if that counts

>>740711152
>owning him
Yeah if you actually fucked his daughter you old fart

my thread is dying plz bump :(

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>7th grade, 13 years old
>hottest girls in my science class and the ones with the biggest asses
>one day we watch bill nye the entire time
>lights go off its completely dark everyone moves to the front to see better while me and some other person sit in the very back
>no one is watching so i masturbate in my pants staring at all the girls asses
>jizz in my pants the rest of the hour
>worth
I also took pictures all the time during class of asses, best year of my life.

>>740706243
In one of dreamhacks bathrooms

>>740712054
wats that

>>740706243
Study hall in HS or religion class in middle school. Once in the car on a cross country road trip when everyone else went inside.

>>740710714
Wow that sucks. One time my mum found porn in my room and I thought I was going to be severely punished but she just spat 'you're disgusting' at me. Which you know, as far as punishment goes was fairly light, but on the other hand I think it fucked me up pretty good.

>>740712480
>white parents

plz save my thread :( bump ):

>>740706243
in my sister's bathroom with her used panties while my sister was in the next room asleep with her son

In the back seat of car when parents were driving

at church, not kidding

>>740706243
school bathroom while skipping math class

In the back of my ccd class. Teacher was hot. Put my hands in my shirt and go to work. After jizzing in class with everyone around me, I spread the jizz all over my stomach so it wouldn't go through my shirt. Walked out with a layer of cum armor

>>740711891
Like 14 year old you had those balls..

>Be me
>18
>Go to an anime convention with 3 female friends
>Share a hotel room with them
>Share a bathroom
>Tell them I'm tired from driving so they can go to the convention ahead of me
>After they leave I go through their stuff
>Find their panties
>Fap with them
>They come back
>Don't suspect a thing
>Later that night we take turns showering
>My turn to shower
>Find their dirty panties just laying on the floor
>Fap with them

It was a great weekend I can say that much, one of them was into me and probably would have sucked me off or something but I wasn't that into her.

>>740715142
>go to convention
>don't get laid
why even bother? If it weren't for furfags thirsty for dicksucking I wouldn't even bother with anthrocon

In the parking lot of McDonald's watching my ex girlfriend work the back drive thru.

>>740715630
Weirdest not saddest

Worst one was when I was 14 in a hospital shower of the cardiology ward having all the monitor wires hooked up.
Been in there a few days and decided to rub one out. Couple of nurses busted in thinking I was having a heart attack seeing my vitals peak on the nurse station screen. So awkward.

>>740706243
In my mouth

on a plane and in my high school bathroom

bump my thread is dying

>>740715805
I did this at 35 years old... I was at a sleep study told me to act like I was at home.. monitors up the as jerked one out went to sleep.. that had to know... Electrodes cameras but never said nothing..fuck them.. they wanted to know my normal sleep

>>740716629
They definitely knew and probably still share that story and laugh

American embassy in Canada

Juvenile Psychiatric Ward, they had hidden cameras in the rooms.

>>740706243
In a graveyard close to my house

when I was 14 my family lived in a hotel for 5 months because our house was being renovated. Because we had been there so long, the staff knew us very well. One of the cleaning ladies that my mother was very familiar with came in my room without knocking and opened the door to my room and saw me on the bed, facing the door. I was fully dressed and hurriedly pulled a blanket over my legs but by then she probably had already noticed. She looked shocked when she walked in but after I covered up she non chalantly asked me if I wanted room service and I said no and she left. She looked super dead in the eyes when she asked me that.

Laying on my friends mom's bed fapping with one of her thongs

Got a few good ones.
>be middle school me
>wake up early because siblings go to school earlier than i do (elementary), mom's gonna take them to school then drop me off
>omw to elementary school
>get a raging boner, horny asf
>mom parks in parking lot, walks siblings in
>whip out the beast, full view through the window (sitting in shotgun)
>bust a load all over myself, put on jacket to cover it up
>mom comes back less than a minute later
Another one
>also middle school me
>carpooling with friends from the airport
>pretty late, 10:00 or 11:00
>sitting by myself in the third row
>fall asleep
>wake up with the erection infection
>friends and their mom think im still asleep
>roll onto the ground, out of sight, between the back of the second row and third
>flogthelog.gif
>my friends mom's car now has a cumstain on the carpet and she doesn't even know

final one
>middle school me (i sure did beat my meat a lot in middle school, didn't i)
>driving with family to church on a sunday morning
>third row all to myself (yet again)
>unzip dress pants
>spank the weasel right behind a 6 year old and an 8 year old, and my parents
>readyaimfire.jpg
>yet another carpet cumstain
>either one of my siblings coulda turned around at any moment to see me yankin my willy

i guess i've just got a thing for cars

>>740706243
The but

>>740718280
rate my stories, by tier

My best friend in highschool was on the swim team and would sleep in briefs when he would spend the night. I used to lower his blanket and fap to his bulge. If he was wearing red briefs I would fap twice and touch his dick with mine

In my sister's bedroom on her ass

Either
>Bed next to my grandma, her waking up and asking me who was breathing heavy
Or
>In sleep study, wired up to machines and with cameras on me, but under covers.

could somebody please bump to keep thread alive

Me too

In the school bathroom because my teachers arms look too fucking good in a tight shirt.

When i was 15 id sneak into my friends sister's room if she was out for the night. Is put on one of her thongs and cum under her covers

In a church during somebodies funeral. I was just checking the place out as it was historical. I left a big cum goober in one of the bibles on the pew.

>>740706243
On the interstate while driving.

At a movie theater but it was my girlfriend doing it

In my car while driving through the mountains at night.

In the Oval Office while the President (not Trump or Obama) was out of the country.

>>740706243
Women's bathroom

>>740707512
So Mom's a pedo then

This was at the height of the Pokemon Go Craz

>be vacationing in Florida with family
>be 340 lbs at the start of vacation
>everyday I play Pokemon Go for 2 hours, walking down the tight knit towns
>eventually realize there are more pokestops down on the other side of town
>decide to go there one day
>there is a whole public museum here, along with always open restrooms
>spend time in park for 20 minutes until I realize I need to take a shit
>go into bathroom, take shit
>also decide to rub one out, because I found hot porn the other day
>take all the toilet paper available in the restroom and place it on the floor
>sit down on floor
>fap dry
>feelsgoodman
>continue doing this for the rest of the vacation
>end of vacation I weighed 300 lbs

Honestly I wonder if the people who worked there wondered why the bathroom kept running out of toilet paper or not.

>>740720123
meh, could be better
points for effort though

my friend did it in a gas station bathroom to try out some lube my other friends had just gotten

On the beach several times during both day and night. It's rare to see more than 10 people at anytime there.

>>740706243
Airplane seat while my mom was asleep next to me

Back of a van taking me home from school. Girl napping in seat in front of me with thong sticking out

Have masturbated in multiple odd places.
Several times in class or in a school bathroom.
While sitting with my family watching movies and shit.
On the bus.
In a restaurant.
I recently went to a baseball game in Denver. Masturbated in the public restroom, while sitting on a bench in public while in Denver, and at the actual game.
Also once while I was at a planetarium when I was a kid, going on a field trip for a lesson.
I've only ever been to church once in my life but I masturbated there too.

plz bump my thread is dying :(

Probably in the middle of a sears when I was like 12 or something.

I regularly jerk off outside on my way home after work now.

I used to wear my sister's thongs and fap outside

plz bump my thread is dying :(

>>740706243
I masterbated in class in 7th grade. I was wearing a hoodie and just jerked it in my baggy shorts. As I came a girl 2 rows over asked if i was ok. Still cannot fuckin believe I got away with it today.

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Not my Proudest but my friends younger sister room she was 12 i was 15

Me and my friend would jerk off to porn next to each other

Ban

In the car of my mom's friend. She had left her laundry in the back and i came on all of it.

>>740706243
On my bed in my hand in the missionary position with the sole purpose of procreation.

under the grand piano in the living room my family had

>>740725081
Did it work?

>>740725159
Not the way I expected, but yes, it did.

juvenile hall

>>740706243
On a bus, on a plane, and in a lake.

I was laid on my back in the back of a pickup truck while way home, i think i was seen by a lot of people. I was like 9 or 10

>>740706243
in a car in a college parking lot when I was 15, wasn't my car
in my grandma's pool during a family gathering and then in her hot tub like 10 minutes after that, same year
in the gym teachers office thing right off the side of the gym during a peprally, it had a weird set up with 2 doors and a staircase. he gave out cans of soda as treats to kids who did lots of sit-ups and push-ups..... I came on the cans

and a punch of other public places, i'm not a deviant or anything I just get bored and feeling like jerking off

>>740706243
butt naked in the middle of a forest.