How do you clean up after you fap?

if you fap you are a gay

>>740480820
Eat it. It i used lube i will wash my hand off

>>740480820
I just let it dry where it lands

Rub it in let it dry shower later

> > tuck your dick in your pants, wipe off your hand, and you're done

I don't.

psh I bet you guys dont even do big cums

Cum in toilet paper. Just got to throw it away and no mess!

>>740480820
I rub it on my balls and asshole and let it dry. I'll wash it off later when I shower.

>>740481054
>>740482038
cum makes my skin red and itchy, am I allergic to my own cum?

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>>740480820

Normally next to the swings

>>740480820
toilet paper but ive been running low on it lol

>>740482175
That's interesting. Cum makes the head of my cock get red and irritated. I know because I once pulled my foreskin closed and taped it with medical tape. Then I came inside it and left the cum in there for a bit. Felt so good and nasty until after like a minute when it started irritating like hell and I had to remove the tape and wash off the cum.
Since it's possible to be allergic to dog semen (can be fatal I've read), I guess it might be possible for certain body parts to be "allergic" to human semen.

I often just eat my cum like in the gif or ill just cup my hand and lick it out. Cum tastes too good to waste lol

lick dat shit up boiiiiii

I cum in the toilet.

>>740480820
I eat it. Fast, Easy, Clean.

>>740480820
Not.

>>740480820
Jizz in a bottle then pour it into the toilet when I go to take a piss a few minutes later. Rinse out the bottle while I'm there.
No fuss.
If I don't have access to that then >>740481219
or >>740482748

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>you fap?

stopped reading right there

>>740480820
I cum in my own mouth so I dont make a mess

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That's for her to figure out when she wakes up with a strangers jizz all over her face. Not my fucking problem nigger

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>>740480820
>fap through pants
>blow load in underwear
>continue about your day like nothing happened

Press fingers hard on pipe right at the base of my cock.
Hold it tight until orgasm and 'cumming' finish.
Place cock in boxers with foreskin pulled back.
Dribble a little in boxers

>>740482658
the fuck is wrong with you?

>>740483010
Like a hobo you mean.

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>>740482938

>>740480820
I just clean my hand on my boxer and balls, then I go and wash my hands

My balls are the smoothest part of my body

no one uses tissue?

My GF goes to the bathroom to drain her pussy of my semen.

>>740483302
Most of us do. Or we get laid. I don't think this thread is for normies tho

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>>740483333
sick digits

>>740480820
leave it to dry on the floor

>>740480820
I never asked my mom how she cleaned it

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towel

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>>740483333
WITNESSED
Also thats hot

>>740483082
We wouldn't be on /b/ if there wasn't something wrong with us all, my friend.

>>740480820
Cum in the gallon milk container in the fridge. No clean up.

>>740483617
Only real way to clean up.

>>740483495
how do you get more than 2 squirts out?

I cum in the pringles can I masturbate with like everyone else. Why the fuck wouldn't I finish there?

>>740480820
Easy, i just don't cum...

>>740480820
Fapping is for degenerates

>>740480820
if i don't have tissues near me i use the dirty ones on the bin

>>740483886
From one autist to another, you gotta step up your b8 game. No disrespect fam

>>740483956
Daam fam

>>740480820
I can autofellate, so I always cum directly into my mouth. no cleanup necessary.

>>740484074
Do you ever say the sentence "I suck my own cock" or do you always dress it up with cute words like that

>>740480820
I dont

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or the shower

>>740484690
What the fuck!!!! That load size is amazing. How in the hell?

>>740485017
yeah its fun haaha

Use a spaff rag

>>740480820
Tissue/TP, but if I cbf getting any I just squeeze my thighs together real tight and I don't ejaculate. Alternatively you can use your finger to push on your perineum hard for same effect. Virtually same orgasm, less mess.

>>740484690
>>740485017
I also wanna know how? Is this what happens if you "just let it run"?

>>740481074
I was looking for this.

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I CUM IN MY GARBAGE BIN, NO CLEANING REQUIRED.

Flush the toilet

>>740480820
Cum in a fucking napkin you goddamn degenerate

I'm 100% serious just clam the top of your legs together and tense as you orgasm, you don't fire everywhere

>>740480820
Tell your mom to was her face

I wipe with a sock and fall asleep

>>740483022
Enjoy your UTI

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>>740480820
i keep a cup in my desk and i just cum in it, wash it when i go to bed

I use a warm wash cloth and than I wash my hands

throw it at the wall

>>740482175
This huy is not even trolling, it happens to me too, weird but real, well to avoid doing a mess and clean later i just grab a napking and put it on my dickhead in the instant when im cumming.

>>740480820
I ues a dead baby to clean up my cum.

>>740480820
Basically i spunk onto a ball that rolls down a tube and hits a domino setting off a chain reaction that leads to the switch at the bottom of my kettle the water boils and the steam sends a piece of tissue flying up over the area i spunked on and then i just wipe it

>>740480820
recycle it

>>740486631
or you could just leave it overnight and have yogurt for breakfast when you get up

Catch as much as I can with my mouth. Use the guest towel to clean up the rest.

Cum in my hand than lick it up normally. I figured if my girlfriend swallows my load I should too.

>>740487791
it dries and stains the cup : (

Let my dog lap it up. He seems to enjoy it

I fap with a Fleshlight. No cleanup required!

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>>740483617

>>740480820
cup a paper towel over the end of your dick you fucking degenerate

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Come on guys. Get your act together.

>>740480820
I've done enough kegals that I can tense my pelvic floor and prevent ejaculation. No clean up.

>>740480951
>>740484074
Fun fact if you ingest sperm it turns into estrogen because It was literally made for females, so unless your trying to become a cute trap be careful how often and how much you eat your own cum

>>740482580
But if they're in use then the slide.

>>740480820
I've noticed if I ever cum in my pants my underwear gets little bits of it eaten away. Is my sperm toxic?

>>740488600
Except for the fleshlight right? And your dick and the surounding area. Yeah basicly no clean up.

>>740489220
Fuck.

>>740489349
Your sperm has acid-like properties which is why it burns when girls gets in their eyes.

>>740480820
don't use the word "fap" - it's stupid and makes you sound like a child.

>>740489349
>>740489569
You are both idiots.

>Also sperm is basic not acidic. It has a basic buffer to survive in the acidic environment of the vagina.

Fucking virgins.

>>740489521
Seriously don't do It unless your gay, want to be a trap, or both.

>>740480820
>Cleaning up after you fap
I don't understand. Do you just let It loose all over the place like a retard?

i cum on my daugther

>>740486370
Can anyone confirm???

>>740490234
story.

>>740489095
"inside pants"
"outside shirts"

holy fuck this is the funniest shit

i don't

>>740489521
Ahahahhaha fucking weird ass faggot thinking you're not gay while you actually eat cum. Wow

>>740490333
checkt

>>740489220
i usually just smear it all over my face
it helps maintain a younger appearance

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>>740483333
>>740490333
>>740482933
>>740482913
Holy balls!

>>740480820
Rub the tip with my fingertips as im cumming. It just means the cum hits your fingers and you just wipe it off

I jack off into the toilet water

>>740491091
I want to punch that face into mush

>>740489220

Idk it tastes good and makes no mess. Not turning into either yet so no problems.

>>740489951
Lol it cant seriously be that effective?

>>740491428
you need to chill anon
smoke some weed
bang some hoes

>>740484690
>>740485017
>>740485144
Save it up a couple weeks no fap. Drink a lot of water eat a lot of greens then kabloey

If you eat your own cum and have an std what will happen?

>>740483356
this

>>740491702
You will literally double your aids

>>740491762
so if I do it over and over again, aids will multiply exponentially to the point of me becoming the aids itself?
sounds fun

Easy whit the boxer

Jerk it in the shower. I'm sure years from now my drain will back up and I'll have to horrify some plumber.

Seriously you guys should try tasting your cum. I've been meaning to try and find someone else's cock to suck to try that. Not gay though just like the tastes.

I don't clean up, I just don't care, might be disgusting but idk

>>740480820
These days I just fap straight intothe toilet when visiting family or don't bother when at hoem

>>740480820

I just let the bird fly away. No mess!

>>740492103

Not to mention, he'll have to explain to you the reason why your drain's clogged.

>>740483082
Ahahahahaha

>>740492432
How long do you think it would take to reach that level of buildup? I hope to be in a new apartment by then...

>>740480820
>Get soft shirt that no one wears anymore
>wrap around dick
>re-wrap with another section
>Fap
feels good and easy cleanup, just squeeze dick out like gogurt and chuck shirt into a corner, go take a piss and you're done.

>>740492616

I would assume the water would keep it liquid-y enough that it'd just wash down. But idk, i've jerked off in the bathtub before, and as i'm washing myself the bastards float around me. Picked a gooey thing up and it was nothing like what it feels like fresh. it's like the slimey and fluid part of the sperm is completely gone. But I do it every so often for like 2 years now and i've never had problems...

>>740492168
That's 6 foot 10 and gay as hell

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im usually laying down or close to it while jerking it so i just cum on my stomach and use the towel from the shower earlier to wipe it. simple and clean

>>740493062
I've been doing it daily for like 6 months since my gf moved in.
I learned real quick to take the drain out cause she was cleaning one day and was like "what's all the snot in the drain about?" But after it goes down idk what it does to the pipes and shit.

Whatever is on top of the laundry pile

>>740491507
>it tastes good
if it tastes so good why do japanese porn stars keep puking after drinking so much

>>740493447

I see what you mean, in my apartment, the drains space is massive, so I never have to worry about the jizz getting caught/stuck on the metal.

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>>740492103
Somebody need a Plummer?

>>740491934
Yup. A Full blown, no holds barred... AID.

>>740492709
This is horrible

>>740493309
Wrong. Wack it, then shower.

I jerk off with condoms on, I buy in bulk off of amazon -- 100 condoms for roughly $15.

When I'm actually fucking I use a condom anyways, and now there is no mess or chafing.

Is this a sign I'm affluent?

>>740494356
no it's a sign you're autistic

>>740494356
Used to do this.

I never get how retarded people are with this question. I mean really, cumming into a towel? The fuck?

>Jizz on stomach
>Wipe off with tissue
>Flush or trash
>Profit

How does this easy solution seem to shock anyone?

>>740494733
>>740494772
side benefit: I can see exactly how much I cum.

I keep track of quantities and session length and I take supplements to increase my load.

I currently take zinc and lecithin

I usually just let my jo-bro take care of it

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>>740494890
That crap actually works?
What's your reason for doing it? Just to bust on girls faces or do you do porn?

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>>740492103
fuck, it clogs drains?

>>740492103
fuck the plumber. literally.

>>740480820
I used to just cum just under my belly button and it would stick in my pubes and on my dick. I would just pull up my underwear and pants and do nothing. Sometimes not showering for a few days.
found out it smelled really bad one time when I was sitting with my friend at his computer (he had this weird chair thing and I was sitting on the back of it) I kind of adjusted myself and my crotch was close to his face and he obviously got a whiff and was like "ouff"

stopped doing it after that

>>740495264
Not sure. But it solidifies so I assume it has the capability to do so in large enough quantities.

>>740495069
I don't do porn, the reason I care is the amount of time you actually spend cumming is very short relative to the amount of time spent jerking off. If you can increase the amount of lines you shoot by 4 or 5 you have extended the length of your orgasm a huge amount. As far as I am concerned I probably get 55-70% more orgasm per jerk off.

Right now I beat off for 30 minutes solid and produce about two tablespoons, and that is jerking off everyday. If I take a few days off and beat off for around an hour and twenty minutes, edging the whole way, I can get up to about a quarter cup of cum.

For the record, if you decide to start doing this stuff and you get with someone, warn them ahead of time. Not all girls are okay being absolutely overwhelmed during a blow job.

I have retrograde ejaculation from my medicine. No clean up needed.

>>740495498
This is fucking incredible. You're like a semen scientist or some shit.

>>740495490
i have a cesspool, so is it ok if i've been jerking in the toilet for years?