Badly describe video games thread. Hard Mode >main character's

>you are the chosen one, the key to everything
>embark on an epic quest with a knight and a wizard
>wizard never heals you when you need it

>>740377634
fuck you dolan

>>740377816
one hundred percent correct

>Mckenna Hall, Quentin Lance and Jason Brodeur kill a bunch of vigilantes.

>>740376483
Mario.

>kill dragons with death metal vocals

>the world is coming to an end by lizards
>you're the only one who can defeat them
>waste 99% of your time fucking around and not fighting them
>learn how to defeat them with the aid of a mentally retarded man
>kill the leader with little to no effort
>continue to fuck around and waste time

>>740376483
>The world is dying and even after 1000 hours across multiple games you still have no idea what the fuck is going on

>sister gets kidnapped by a huge bird
>sail around for the rest of the game getting confused

>>740378449
Skyrim Nigga

>>740378449
Skyrim

>>740378501
Zelda BotW?

>>740378746
Wind Waker

>>740378746
Wind waker

>>740378695
Endless Legend

>the world is coming to an end by lizards
>you're the only one who can defeat them
>waste 99% of your time fucking around and not fighting them
>learn how to defeat them with the aid of a mentally retarded man
>kill the leader with little to no effort
>continue to fuck around and waste time

>>740378869
Not botw, skyrim. Other guy beat me to it

>famous archaeologist
>jewish name
>everything you see reminds you of that one "thing"
>little boy accompanies him

Innocent Shaft.

>>740379174
That reminds me of a puzzle

>>740378979
Still true, but not exactly what I was thinking.

>>740379400
Critical thinking is the key to success.

>demon takes over
>wear the faces of dead people
>kill demon

>>740376483
>after your father went missing, you decide to find out what happened to him
>you visit the last place he was seen
>explore ancient ruins
>find the treasure
>father suddenly appears and steals it from you

>kill random people constantly
>ohfuckilluminati
>matrix shit

>>740376483
>be robot everyone wants to fuck
>too many endings

>>740379845
nier: automata

>Oh shit I just murdered someone apparently...
>Let me hide all the evidence with a series of Simon Says-inspired QTE and clean up then leave.
>Now I'm playing as the cops who are investigating this shit?
>Okay, let me try to undo everything I just did.
>So wash, rinse, repeat, I keep chasing myself in stupid ways.
>Sexy time with girl.
>Oh god, who is this creepy fucker and why is he trying to murder with his mind using all the shit in my apartment as flying weapons?
>What the fuck, flashback to childhood.
>Stupid find-the-hidden-people-in-the-burning-place mission...
>What in the hell, psychic robotic consciousness?
>OH GOD I AM THE FIST OF THE NORTH STAR THIS IS AWESOME...even though it's just fast Simon Says...

Why the fuck do I actually enjoy this shit enough to play it every few years?

This one is EZMODE for anyone who has played it.

>>740379732
superhot

>>740376483
My mom's a cunt and I have to go into her cunt

>>740379943
no but good guess

>>740376483
>stuck on an island
>spray shit to gain your freedom
>turns out all that spraying shit was actually kind of fun by the end

Gf giving You a bj at the cemetery
She gets kidnapped
You save her
You save her again cuz it was an illusion

>>740378695
100% dark souls. 1k hours? noice. how many pvp accounts ya got?

>>740376483
>go level
>brazilians and polacks kill you

good luck

>source of many memes
>stems from a known and beloved franchise

>I swear to God if this rabbit makes one more fucking pun I'm going to reach through the monitor and strangle his AI ass

>>740381393
Somebunny is hoping mad!

>>740381393
Sam and Max?

>>740381460
I can't tell if you know it or not. That was exactly something it would say.

>>740381469
No.

So no one can guess OP's? I'll give a hint
>Xbox original exclusive

>you're a white guy with the only children in the world
>No wait, a black guy
>No wait, another white guy

>>740381842
gta V

>>740380859
almost certain that's the darkness

>>740380237
Super Mario Sunshine

>>740376483
>start talking in another language and killing people in cool ways
>somehow you don't feel like yourself, like you're not in the real world
>wake up in massive illuminati center
>go back into some machine and do everything you're supposed to for a few years until space gods show up
>end up in a cave, touch some glowing pedestal and die for no fucking reason
>now you're some random dude doing the same thing the first guy was doing
>they show you the best parts of the real world in cinematics but never let you play it

>>740382314
Yes!

Suffer extreme centripetal forces to stop fat person with machine fetish.

>>740382422
assassins creed

>>740376483
>2 girls die
>everyone dies or lives based on choice

>>740380859
Ghosts and Goblins

>Deep Space hide and seek

>>740382497
sonic the hedgehog

>>740379921
Indigo prophecy

>>740376483
>be in massive open world
>slay monsters and dragons, do random tasks, kill other players and hope RNGsus is on your side for that quick kill and sweet loot
>spend years of your life progressing in various life skills while nolifing
>certain updates pushed by the devs start making or breaking the experience
>eventually realize this game is only good for making extra cash on the side and sell everything

>>740380859
Ghost n Goblins?

>>740383265
runescape

>People are going to jail
>Scream across the room at people
>Another guy's going to jail now
>Now a woman with huge boobs is dead
>Now we show dead bodies to her sister and loli cousin

>>740383265
yep, 7.7k total hours, top 1k to 99 slay/prayer/herb (overloaddddds), probably one of the top 2k 126's/138s. Sold my account for 3 grand. No idea if it's still played. At my best, had 800m including an ely i got as a drop trioing corp

>>740380081
nobody seems to have guessed this
HINT: also you crossdress sometimes and I'm not sure if it's sexual or not

>>740383621
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

>>740380081
BoI

>roam around the world
>travel around hell
>kill dragon

>>740383769
because no one plays you're weird perverted sexual fantasy games.

>>740381313
metal gear rising

>>740383047
Correct!

>>740384022
correct

>>740384341
you're wrong on both accounts

>>740382636
>>740383374
Yes

>>740383621
gg you got it

>>740384475
what was the second account?

>>740384451
wrong. the game is way older

>help a bunch of terminally depressed beings reach safety.

>>740380081
Binding of issac

>>740384619
The perverted sexual fantasy game part

The first account was nobody playing it

>>740382607
Until Dawn

>You die on a big wall
>You some more after tresspassing and getting killed repadedly
>At the end shit goes down and you go back up the wall for a qte.

>In Soviet Russia, Snake is called Anaconda

>>740384786
oh right

>>740379707
La mulana

>>740376483
>dev promised many revolutionary features for its time
>final result is a run of the mill rpg with none of those features
>some people still liked it and it eventually got a graphical remaster

>>740378746
This was too obvious, you're not even doing it right

>>740385523
Hello, this is Petter. I understand your criticisms and hope My next game will be better than the last one.

>copied another game except insulted anime fans.

>never speak the entire game
>save grunts and yelling
>blood and guts
>everybody dies
>superspoop.jpeg
>for once the black guy is one of the last to die

>>740385957
Halo

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>It is called Super Smash Brothers

>world is threatened by underground weeaboos
>good thing I'm a badass with cheesy one liners
>chains-SAAAAAAAARRRGH
!!!

>>740386196
Uhhhh Wii Fit?

>>740386196
Crash Bandicoot?

>>740386178
Close but no. Same concept though.

>>740386196
What is
>melee
?

>Sean Bean is a man of God
>Wes Johnson always arrests you
>Wes Johnson is also a crazy Scottish guy
>Something about gates or some shit

>>740386178
Btw didn't even think of Johnson, that's a spot on guess.

>>740376483
>>740376483
Grabbed by the ghoulies was a good game

>"It's like Dark Souls"

>>740386544
Bloodbourne or Nioh

>>740386599
Wrong.

>>740386669
Demon souls???

>>740386544
Fucking Crash Bandicoot

Avoid malnurishment

>>740386722
YES!!

>>740384142
Minecraft lol

>>740386544
That Surge game
Lords of the Shitty dark souls clone
That 2D one
That thing they showed at E3 this year that was like cell shaded dark souls.
Monster Hunter

>>740386701
that's like saying perfect dark is like halo...

>>740386968
How is crash like dark souls though?

>>740386949
Sorry, it was Crash Bandicoot.

>>740387049
oh that i have no idea

>>740387049
That's what the "" are for, some srupid video game journal said it was, so it became a normie meme

>>740378695
Half-Life 2

>>740387125
ah. Closest games to dark souls id say is obviously demon souls, then bloodbourne, then nioh from what ive seen probably, then monster hunter. I honestly find monster hunter harder sometimes

>Winter sucks unless you are a bat moth

>>740381393
Jazz Jackrabbit?!?!

>>740382973
Alien

>>740387233
It's sarcasm, you little grasshoper.

>either build rollercoaster that crash into people for fun or make 10/10 coasters which people love
>apparently you can stack scenery

A man goes on a walk.

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>>740387125
Ahh, I understand, thank you.

>Be Dishonored
>But made by Nintendo

>>740387291
Thrillville

>>740387307
DayZ

>>740387264
Nope.

>>740387286
oh yea i know, im just giving my opinion. Really i want more people to play monster hunter, especially if they played and enjoyed the soul's series

>>740387291
Not even trying...Animal Crossing

>>740387436
Wrong.

>be small child dressing in costumes and fighting zombies

>>740387473
I've played over 160 hours of God Eater 2, so I can quiet relate to you, little grasshoper.

>Get framed for murder
>Learn magic from dead fish
>Murder everyone with magic
>or don't
>Save the loli
>Redeem yourself

>>740386318
>>740385957
These are ezmode, cmon now...

>>740387808
Easy, Bioshock.

>>740381313
Portal?

>>740387808
Weeb games don't count.

>>740376483
>you mine
>you craft

Mario


>you're an italian/japanese cis white maLe plumber

>you get your hand stuck in a toilet while high on shrooms

>you fall in trying to catch the shroom you dropped

>your gay brother luigi follows because he wants to take advantage of your high ass

>you meet a ninja turtle and he kidnaps a gril that was sucking your dick for directions

>you bounce on his head cause ur a fat fuck

>gril turns out to not exist, making you search endlessly, castle to castle until you find her

>eventually you get off your high and realize the castles were shit mounds and luigi died days ago and you've been fucking his corpse.


>profit

>>740387933
Terraria

>Vin Diesel travels through time
>there's a monkey

>>740387933
>Factorio

>>740387808
>>740387883

Nope

>>740376483

DEF JAM FIGHT FOR NY

>>740376483
>An android follows you around and revives you every time you die because it never wants you to experience the sweet relief of death.

>>740382497
Centrifugal

>>740388149
Destiny...

>>740387615
160? i have 250 on monster hunter tri and 500 on MH4U. and 1k on Dark souls

>>740386503
Oblivion featuring Tom Cruise

>>740379174
spelunky

>>740388029
>>740387982
ok I'll give you another hint
>you also fight zombies

>>740388268
Damn, I'm studying so I don't have much time, little grasshoper. (Though between the three Dark Souls and Bloodborne..
I could also have around 1 thousand...)

>I'm a cop
>I'm a beaner
>I want to do the right thing
>I must solve this case
>I have no idea what the actual fuck is going on
>But every time I find I mirror I am going to stare at it

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>>740376483
>A bitch ass lesbian vampire summon a white mist
> That bitch tries to get a Nazi Loli back to life
> A red-dressed Japanese-American bitch shoots Lazer and paper to beat her

>In my Steam Library
>Someone gave it to me

>>740376483
is this a hulk game?

>>740388408
Still Terraria

>so like, I'm stuck in a box, right? But I like totally escape and end up in a giant castle where I meet this chick with great legs and her bitch ass mother

>Wakes up
>Sees dancer
>dancer is kidnapped in a tornado
>Goes through time to save the retarded oracles
>tree loves you

>>740379174
Lego Indiana Jones

>>740384815
Shadow of Mordor

>>740379687
OoT?

>>740388629
Ikaruga.

>2D dark souls
>no not that one
>no the other one
>the newer one
>thats the one

>>740388705
Bad rats

>beating the shit out of every one in a random establishment

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>>740389235

>>740379707
Fallout 4, if you're the son

>>740383769
Final Fantasy VII

>dude blasts you in the head
>pain.jpg
>look for his ass
>shoot em
>fuck now what

Easy if you played it

>>740378695
rust

>>740384753
Lemmings

>>740389109
close. I think its majora's mask.

>>740385523
Fable

>>740384753
Could be Super Metroid

>>740385884
Nioh? That other one that was shown at E3?

>>740376483
saints row 1

>>740389700
F:NV. Making my own Radio stations, you should try it

>phone rings
>Kill things

>>740390375
Hitman

>>740390375
My, that is poorly described.

>be a pot
>shoot terrorists

>>740390375
see
>>740389381

>>740390506
hotline miami dumbass

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>>740390624

>>740390605
Yes you got it

>you and gf betrayed by leader
>gf turns into alien
>make her no longer alien
>she willingly turns into alien to wreck shit
> bad guy dies
>evil god rises
>different alien dudes help gf to wreck evil guy

You are an elementary school drop out who defeats gansters through the aid of slaves.

>>740376483
Oh fuck I loved Grabbed by the Ghoulies

>painfully slow chair
>audiologs
>rip dog
>building things

>>740390841
starcraft

>>740390841
Select bits of the plot of Starcraft.

>>740387933
fnaf

>nice scenery
>dots and lines
>see lines for days afterwards

>You win a contest you never entered.
>Win about 5 acres of land
>You find someone you know kidnapped by shy marshmallows.
>Always call out that person's name despite knowing where the person is at all the time.
>In the end you're rich as fuck.

>>740387553
costume quest?

>>740391043
Luigi's Mansion
>badly described

>>740387808
dishonored

>>740389678
wrong

>>740388876
skyward sword?