Hey /b/oiis I have to give my car that i cosigned back to the

>>739750370
Put sugar into the gas tank

>>739750561
Omg. How did i not think of this

>>739750561
RIP CAR

>>739750370
Remove the vents and place shrimp in them. Replace the vents.

>>739750370
Just let a nigger drive it for a week

>>739750370
>sugar in the gas tank
>hand full of tiny metal pieces in the engine
>oil in the washer fluid
>old food/fish beneath the trunk carpet

just to name a few.

sell it to 3 different people

Pour 2ltrs of water into the gas tank

>>739750561
That literally does fucking nothing you dumb niggers. Has been disproven so many times it's not even funny.

You could just be a man and give it back.

> You don't pay for it anymore.
> No longer your problem.
> Walk away...

>>739750891
>You could just be a man and give it back.

Hey, calm down there anon. Calm the fuck down. We're all excited but please. Just, turn it down a little, yeah.

>>739750370
>tuna

Nigger that's mild, same price you'll get a pound of shitty boxed frozen squid. Left a bit in the trunk for 4-5 days and the smell didn't come out completely until about 6 years later.

>>739750891
>You could be a pussy boy faggot and just give it back

Fixed it

>>739750990
>>>739750891
>>You could just be a man and give it back.
>Hey, calm down there anon. Calm the fuck down. We're all excited but please. Just, turn it down a little, yeah.
Yeah man, let OP have his childish antics fer cryin' outloud

>>739750370
Just set the mother fucker on fire

>>739750990
>>739751153
>>739751210

Alright, alright, fuck.

Just hide a frozen fish underneath the backseat right before you give it back.

Follow gazza's golden rule. When leaving fish products in a car, always, always leave two batches.

Then when they think they finally found the stink, for some reason, it keeps getting worse???

Hehe

If the car is pic related it would hurt my soul should anything bad happen to it. So just make the interior smell really bad by spraying liquid was on the cabin air filter. Chances are if they're financing a car they won't know what a cabin air filter is.

>>739751425
Liquid ass*

You're so fucking petty Michael. Nobody loves you, you're as bad as your piece of shit sister. Both users.

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>>739750370
>>739750370
Buy some .177 standard pellet gun pellets. Open oil cal pour in a hundred or so wash down with some oil. Rip engine. To many people believe that the gas resiviour is the place for sabotage, but the engine is the heart of the car. Metal shavings works better though.

>>739750561

Bleach in the tank is far more effective. Runs correctly for 24 hours after you do it kills the motor the next day.

Citation: myth busters

>>739750370
You're all a bunch of fish in the backseat faggots.

You want to be an asshole? Here you go
Drill a hole in the oil pan of the car
Repair it with JB Weld, it will hold, but not for long
Return the car with enough oil to keep the oil light from coming on, about 1 quart
In about a week she'll be driving, the JB Weld will have fallen off, oil will leak out, engine will seize, goodbye car

>>739750370
Simplest thing to do is crack an egg into the vent near the windshield. Pretty much impossible to clean/fix. The smell will be horrendous.

>>739751554
If this is Michael, that is.

>>739751419
This is a good idea.

Just return it and be done. Dont waste your time. Move on.

>>739750370
Pour some water in the engine

>>739750370
You do realize you'll have to repair the car? It will have to run when you sign it over.

>>739751993
OP is determined to be a cock, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop him

Go ahead, OP.
Go on.
Be a cock.

>>739752137
DASTARDLY!

Check her oil levels while you're at it OP

>>739751993
You sick motherfucker!

>>739750891
>consigned
>no longer has to pay
Make up your mind. Cosigners have to pay in case original signer fails.......

Drain all the oil out and go for a long drive.

>>739750370
first things first. If it's not paid off do you realize all she has to do is not pay as your stuck paying?
Secondly dump coolant in oil and oil in coolant. Kills cars so fast

>>739750370
drive until you're near 'E'
then fill it up w/ Diesel
It'll run for at least a few days
then die & be totaled.

>no hard feelings, babe. I filled up the tank for you

>>739752692
Im just going to kill myself anyway so i dont care about that shit

Op kinda was in your boots. I regret not shitting in car. So rolling for shit in car

hypothetically you could give it back as is just beat the piss out of it while you have it...
put it through its paces you now have a chance to discover what this vehicle is truly capable of with little to no repercussions if you play your cards right.
I would let your friends get to take it on high speed rides complete with drifting and neutral bombs if they put up the cash.

>>739753020
Excerpt i wasnt a dumbass and cosigned on a car.

Lessons learned.

1. Trust no bitch
2. Nevar cosign
3. Reroll for shit under da handle

>>739750370
"Accidently" spill a gallon of milk in the car
It won't start to stink for a few days and is almost impossible to clean up,

>>739751583
just get some steel wool and cut it up a bit. In with the oil will fuck it up all kinds of good

>>739752765
This is the best idea so far plus 2 squids

>>739750370
Give the car back, then go home and think about it
Imagine yourself
On a hot day
On the porch
Staring at the sun
Rockin back and forth
Thinkin about what you'd do to that car
Just a-thinkin about it
Thinkin

take off hood fenders doors deck lid headlight housing and all the other easy grabs the piss all over the interior

>>739750370
Drive drunk.
Get caught by cops.
Car gets impounded.

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>>739750370
Make it look like the batmobile. Act like you thought you were doing her a favor.

>>739753020
Def gon shit in it

>>739750370
Why are you such an insufferable faggot?
Just give the car and be done with it.

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>>739751702
yfw the JB weld lasts 20 years.

Hide a substantial ammount of drugs in it. Make an anonymous call to the cops some time later.

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>>739751702
>>739754415
>yfw the car seizes at an intersection and an eighteen wheeler truck t-bones her, killing her on impact.

>>739754471
/thread

>>739754626
I love Bateman, I wish I was Bateman with his perfect physique and wonderful humor.

Thread escalated from

>lol put some tuna in the trunk

to

>get that bitch 25 years in prison / killed

leave some used panties under the seat...not hers either chad

>>739750370
Just go to a niggery part of town, say you wanted to try a new kfc or liquor store in niggerville, leave the keys in it, Trayvon steals it and niggers it all up. You tell police and ex the niggers got it.

Op here. This has been my car. I drive it. We broke up a year ago but she was my co signer. Now i cant afford it and she wants it back to sell it and try to pay it off.

she co-signed....not your problem..hahahahaha

non american fag here, can someone explain this cosign thing?

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>>739755697
Op has shit credit. Either underage or he's a fuckin neet bum. He needs someone with good credit to take financial responsability for the car.

>>739755697
>OP has a car
>Company would only give him car if he could find someone on a better salary/with better credit than him to agree to join the deal
>OP stops making payments on the car
>Company goes after OP's GF to retrieve their cash

The company will actually sell the debt on which is hugely profitable. That's why they love cosigners and getting people into debt.

>>739755845
Oh a guys a shit bum for playing a bitch
When she does it it's called marriage

Remove oil cap, pour some sand down there, should nicely score the cylinder walls and fuck up the valvetrain.

>>739750370
I would put metal shards in the oil filter.

>>739756117
depends on mileaage and problems with car. Also how much is still owed on it

>>739750722
Your mom can't drive a manual.

>>739756366
kek

Put laundry detergent in the gas tank. Works like a charm.

You people are stupid. Sign it over in good condition. Get a receipt signed by her stating that it is in good order. Wait a week, then go fuck that shit up. Jeez!!

Test

I took care of it OP I put a banana in her tail pipe

>>739756750
AXEL!!!!!!

Park the car in front of his house and blow your head off inside it with a shotgun. That'll show him.

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>>739750370
>had shitty credit. needed a cosigner
>talked someone, with good credit, to back you so you could get a loan (they are taking the loan out FOR you)
>you fucking don't make payments (surprise?)
>and... you want to fuck up the car before giving it back

YOU are a worthless piece of shit

>>739752470

he's the one giving it back. he's the piece of shit that didn't pay.

>>739757355
That was actually my plan at first

Drive the car make them find it Fuck Her and these moralfags

>>739757360
We were engaged. Together for 4 1/2 years
She left me 3 months into the engagement and fucked the first guy she met

>>739757360
What do you expect from a guy with shitty credit? It didn't get that way by him being a fine, honorable, upstanding citizen. People dumb enough to have bad credit are subhuman animals. They barely have the brain power to do menial labor, let alone handle responsibility.

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>>739757591

If you co-signed do you think the bitch would bring it back?..

Buy fermented herring and just open it during a hot day and leave it in the hot sun for some hours then take it out. It's the worst smelling fish you could imagine

Funny all these below ground mongs giving this guy shit..jelly much

>>739750370
>>>
> Anonymous 07/22/17(Sat)17:15:08 No.739752765▶>>739753435
>>>739750370 (OP)
>drive until you're near 'E'
>then fill it up w/ Diesel
>It'll run for at least a few days
>then die & be totaled.
>>no hard feelings, babe. I filled up the tank for you
That car is 12 fucking years old AT LEAST how the hell are you so fucking stupid that you couldn't pay off a piece of shit nissan in 12 fucking years.

Drain the coolant and replace with straight water.
Wait.

How about you be a fucking adult and move on with you life

if its a manual then go destroy the clutch

eat exlax and shit taco bell all over inside the console and glove box n shit negro..tell her that losing her love made you ill as you delivered it

>>739751231
That way his niggery ass gets locked up for arson. good thinking we don't need bad credit having nigger retards reproducing.

>>739757880
>That car is 12 fucking years old AT LEAST how the hell are you so fucking stupid that you couldn't pay off a piece of shit nissan in 12 fucking years.
Poor people take out high interest loans for piece of shit cars, because they have bad credit. They have bad credit because they did the same thing for their last car, didn't pay, and it got repossessed. They could buy the same piece of shit car outright if they saved for a few months, but they're stupid.

>>739751702
So it lasts long enough for the person to have it inspected by a mechanic, they find out what you did, and you go to prison for attempted murder. gj.

>>739758096
Better yet, he should crash it into a group of bad credit having niggers just like himself.

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>>739757677

bummer :(

She would've cheated anyways. You're better off without her.

- just start pissing all over the seats and such. let it soak and dry. you have marked it. she will never be able to get the smell out

fill tires with water

>>739758345
topkek

jack it up sell its shoes for extra cash tell her to pick it up

>>739756230
>When she does it it's called marriage
only retards and shit bums get married.

>>739750561
just spray diluted battery acid on the frame. It'll be rusty af in no time.

pour brake fluid all over the paint rust in days

>>739751425
>Chances are if they're financing a car they won't know what a cabin air filter is
What exactly is the correlation?

>>739758448
yeah do that. it takes a crane to take it out.

I'm pretty sure if the car is handed over damaged OP could at the very least be sued for damages, and possibly charged for vandalism. If he has to turn it over, that means the car isn't his and anything he does is the same as fucking with random cars on the street.

My advice to OP is lay off the dicks and find a way to straighten his life out.

>>739750370
Change the oil with actual cooking oil and just leave it lol

>>739755276
So you realize that if you fuck it up and she can't sell it it fucks up your credit for years because your name is on the loan too?

Go to an empty lot. drive very fast and put the car in reverse or park. fuck up the clutch or transmission

>>739759716
If he had to finance a 15 year old nissan, his credit can't possibly get any worse.

>>739757717
This

>>739759907
Even more reason to pay it off as opposed to destroying it. He gets some positive movement on his credit history.

>>739750370
Leave the G35 alone. Dont do anything to harm it permanently

>>739759884
Chances are, its an auto. They have built in saftey systems that disable the shifter when driving. So if you were going 30 and put it into park, nothing would happen cause the car would lock the shifter.

>>739759229
>advice to OP is lay off the dicks

Kek

Yeah i made this to get ideas not go over financial shit.

Lets see the co signers pic

>>739761196
Is the car manual or auto?

>>739750561
all that will do is possibly clog the fuel filter, but it won't wreck the engine(thus, the point of a fuel filter). Hell, you got full access to everything. just throw some bolts into the oil crankcase, or drain the oil out and put water in it or something. boom! Engine grenades, and that bitch will be stuck putting a new motor in it. Hell, drain the radiator for good measure.

Pee in it's butt

Pretty apparent why you needed a cosigner to begin with - you are a fucking child. The best thing you could do with this car is park it in a garage, close the door, run the engine, kys.

>>739758520
>co-signed do you t
Fill tyres with grout

why not be a decent human being for once?

>>739750370
drive it into a pool. it will take a crane to get it out.

>>739761196
Is the car manual or auto?

>>739762184
How dafuq you gonna get a car near a pool? The sea would be a better option

>>739750370
salt the gas tank
vinegar the engine block
paint thinner window seals
let air out of the tires
tap a penny on the inside of a rear tire well between rubber and metal
remove the rear right signal bulb or break it and leave it in there, its the hardest to see and will get a ticket for it

there's more but I rather not go fatal with a dude with /b/

>>739758635
Cars don't have shoes you dumb nigger

>>739762493
Kek

>>739752137
This....... the engine will burn the fuel out of the line that hasn't been tainted by water. If you make your ex pick up the car, it will drive about a block down the street, then stall out when the water hits the engine.
If you put about 29 ounces of water in the tank, it will be enough, but it won't register on the needle.

>>739762184
Better yet, drive the car into a crane, it will take a pool to get it out.

>>739752192
Agreed

>>739762661
Smart

>>739761880
Already tried that. Had to stay in a hyperbaric chamber to pump the co2 outta my body

>>739762930
try harder next time

>>739763109
I started choking. It was like drowning without water

>>739762930
Get someone to rev the engine next time. More chance of death and quicker

>>739753157
#2 and #3 can be avoided by sticking with #1

>>739762930
That's your problem. you don't put the hose in your butt

>>739762930
C0 and C02 are two different gases you dumb nigger.

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>ITT: non car ppl giving advice on how to ruin a car

do this OP:

>create a small pinhole leak in the AC condenser
>open up the differential and chip away at a few teeth in the 6th gear
>rewire the defrost button to engage the parking brake when it's turned on

you get where I'm going with this? all of these things will insure the car fails long after you gave it to her. that way it's less suspicious on you.

>>739763634
This guy knows how to fuck up a car

>>739763634
fucking with the gears? that's some evil shit.

Two pigs, one with 1 painted on it and 3 on the other