Breaking into a church trips decides what I do

>>739417265
Shit on Jesus.

>>739417265
Pray.

>>739417265
Pray. Lock up when you are done.

>>739417265
Pray to Jesus

>>739417265
ring the bell.

>>739417265
Light a fire

>>739417465
/thread

Timestamp or gtfo

>>739417534
Rolling

>>739417534
Roll

File: vvla.gif (1MB, 500x290px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 500x290px

>>739417534

>>739417265
Replace all the statues with statues of Star Wars characters.

open all the doors and draw penises on the walls

Suck jesus' dick

>>739417620
Rolling for this

>>739417265
Wear the skin of the priest and do a sermon, see how long it takes for people to realize you are not the priest.

Kys inside it

Open here, taking a shit in the church right now. Will time stamp shortly

fuck mary

>>739417620
kek'd and roll'd

Release seminal fluids into the baptismal font

>>739417534
Rollingggh

>>739417534
Reeeee

File: Le Marginal Magnifique Poeme Belzebuth.jpg (75KB, 227x263px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 227x263px

>>739417534
Rollerino

Steal every bible

>>739417265
Subtly add items to the church bulletin supporting abortion.

>>739418054

Rolling

>>739417265
Put signs up out front advertising after hours gay orgies at the church.

>>739417265
Pray to god for forgiveness, also church is easy break into mosque

File: 11703041_1639059532974146_8221869283060185293_n.jpg (41KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 600x600px

T R V E K V L T

File: 20170720_015306.png (861KB, 1439x1893px) Image search: [Google]

861KB, 1439x1893px

Write some of these on random places

>>739418146
Roll

crucify yourself

File: 578526c6ae9374f18eb9778a99745556.jpg (559KB, 1920x1266px) Image search: [Google]

559KB, 1920x1266px

>>739417265
pick one. paint it. somewhere.

>>739417265
Set up rigging so in the middle of the next service, you can lower yourself by ropes from the ceiling while angelic choir music is pumped over the loudspeaker. Be naked when you do this.

Sacrifice yourself

>>739417265
pray

>>739417265
I don't know, burn it down or something.

>>739418574
I'm gonna reroll.

>>739417265
drop a box of chocolates for the priest and clean anything dirty.
After that you praise the lord and get out.

>>739418660
Reroll

>>739417265
Torch the place

>>739418685
The Faith reroll

Repent.

>>739417265
Set up a concession stand in the lobby. Sell popcorn and overpriced soda.
Add a nice slot machine at the end of each pew.

>>739418685
One more just because i believe everything has the right time to happen.

>>739417265
Tag it with demonic messages in spray paint

Draw pentagram and praise satan

Break in and turn on all the lights then leave

Believe in Jesus and get saved

>>739417265
Pick any satanist symbol
Spray paint it on Jesus

>>739417265
Spray paint bible verses all over the walls and the alter. This will confuse people.

>>739418204
>ask for gods forgiveness
>break into a different church that worships the same god

Timestamp or gtfo

>>739417265
Spray paint a dick and balls on Jesus along with satanic symbols, post proof

>>739417265
Smear your cum in at least 10 places. You're final smear has to be within a bible.

>>739419068
Reroll

>>739417265
Write hail Santa this will look like satan

>>739417265
Take all the benches and chairs and furniture nail them onto the ceiling so the room looks like it was turned upside down.

When the next service comes, be tied into a seat on the ceiling and look down on people and yell "what are you doing up there?"

draw jews did 9/11 on everything you touched there so far

replace all the holy water with hot mustard and draw dicks in all bibles

Invert all crosses. Leave pentagram of own blood on altar.

>>739418962
Rollin for this

smear your shit on everything :)

Shove three random things up your ass. Post pics.

>>739419215
replace the sanctified communion wine with vodka.

>>739417265
Remove all of the uncomfortable seats and replace them with recliners.

Jizz on the lectern.

OP needs more fiber in his diet.

>>739417265
Ask jesus for forgiveness then leave.

File: b.jpg (1MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3264x2448px

Sorry for the delay

Find Jesus.
Spend the rest of your days starting Why Can't Atheists Define Atheism threads on /b/
Never leave
Ever

Burn.

Went to church with GF and her family. She whispered to me that she always loved church cause the Jesus statue on the cross up from was real muscular and ripped. She said "he's really hot!". Didn't point out he was also dying.

Cum on one of the paintings

>>739417265
masturbate

File: ﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽.jpg (69KB, 999x799px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 999x799px

op omfg please draw demonic symbols or anny of these ones >>739418426
, also, is that church abandoned or used frequently?

>>739417534
rolling

>>739418870
roll

>>739419849
Church is used pretty often

Steal as much as you can and plant it in someone's house.

>>739417265
Burn that bitch down

burn it down

satanic symbol of some kind

>>739417265
Perform a virgin sacrifice by killing yourself.

Hide.
Then in the middle of the next sermon, come out of now where singing the "lolololo" song.

do coke off the pews

rolling for op dra3w satanic shit on the walls

>>739419968
Rollll

Shit on the floor

Jerk off and upload it to pornhub.

>>739420154
Gold
Rolling

>>739420237
Reroll

Be hardcor3 and sacrifice a small child to satan !

Crucify youreself

>>739420162
for you newfags:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UrKcfh43zM

It was a big thing.

>>739417265
Sit in silent reverence for 30 minutes and then go home.

Leave some bread and wine for jesus but the bread its all poisoned with anthrax and your cum.

>>739417265
Burn it down while you're inside.

leave some loli porn in the pastors office/ on the desk

>>739420442
Spread Viagra dust all over the communion wafers, so by the end of the service, all the men will have raging boners while praising Jesus.

>>739418426
just paint of these ones already. (╯°□°)╯

>>739420684
Rollllll

Light A Fire. Burn it to the ground.

Cum on pic of Jesus and leave it there

Pee all over the place

>>739420860
Reroll

just leave

Shit in Jesus

BURN IT

break in once a week for a year and each time shave an inch of the bottom of the pews. Everyone will just think they are getting bigger while they are sitting closer and closer to the floor.

The irony is that I am from that church and I broke into /b tonight to pull tricks on you guys.

>>739417265
Pls don't let it be Catholic

Steal anything of value then light the whole thing on fire, maybe piss on a few books.

>>739421380
Gj anon, hope you didn't disgrace yourself before God.

>>739421157
Actually this would be pretty funny, better if you only did it to one side of different pews

I time I accidentally my sister right in the church.

take a dump and put it on the head of jesus

>>739422008
roll

>>739417265

Recite The Lord's Prayer and then leave.

>>739420201
Roll

>>739422008
rull

The church I go to, someone mounted a basketball hoop on the wall above the back doors of the church. Not sure why. They left it there for a while just to see what happened next, but nothing did.

>>739422008
fckn get

Respect it and leave it the way it was when you got there

>>739421157
roll

stop being a pussy and break in a mosque instead and draw a picture of muhammed on the wall and leave your id there

BURN IT

File: Hub.jpg (1MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3264x2448px

Still here

>>739422146
There was a kid at my church used to play with himself during the service. He wouldn't pull it out, just yank on it thru his clothes. He never seemed to notice that everyone on the left side of the church was just watching him the whole service to see if he would do it again.
he ALWAYS did.

Scream "Alllllllllahu ackbar" then push something like a statue so that it falls and breaks

Had a friend who broke into a church and steal shit but on the way out he took off his mask to get something from the vending machine and got caught from the camera in the machine

>>739422653
What the hell kinda church has a vending machine?

>>739422478
what kind of fucking problems does somebody have that they basically jerk off in a church?

go home

>>739417265
break in to a temple instead

>>739422821
Its easier to sell salvation from a vending machine instead of counting on people paying for it in the collection plate.

>>739417521
rolling

pray and repent

>>739422821
Idk it was a black church. Once i was really thirsty and wanted to get a drink from the water fountain and some guy yelled at me to leave

pray for forgiveness

steal shit

>>739422866
He was a kid. Like 10. Guess he liked it when girls dressed up. but who knows.

He's probably all well adjusted now, but all of us who would watched him now have a deranged idea of what church is about.

Make a pentagram with your own blood then proceed to place jesus in the middle and take a fat shit while simultaneously jerking off,then burn it down

Spraypaint pentagrams everywhere

>>739423268
>again

>>739417265
Take a dump in the bathroom but don't flush

repent

>>739423263
Roll

>>739423268
Rul

>>739423185
... I mean all he did was come to church and yank it. Not as bad as what the rest of us did. Which was come to church and watch a little boy yank it.

>>739423263
This

>>739417534
T.Varg

>>739417265
pray
repent
redeem and walk the world telling the truth of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

>>739423263
Rolling

>>739417534
pole de trips

convert

>>739423430
re-roll for the lulz

god will not allow this thread dubs.... also take a dump on the altar and smear the shit all over jesus

say hi to jesus and leave

>>739423492
re-roll for sincere, heartfelt conversion

File: IMG_0278.jpg (85KB, 599x563px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 599x563px

>>739423263
Fuck

>>739423492
and again

stand around somewhat confused, mutter some incoherent mumbling and leave again.

>>739423263
god hates anon

>>739419359
k

>>739417265
carve pentagrams into some of the pews

File: 1500351452122.gif (982KB, 600x456px) Image search: [Google]

982KB, 600x456px

>>739423430
Satan is my daddy and master doe

You ever go into a church sanctuary after hours? Its sort of creepy. Like God is in there being all quiet and waiting for the next time.

>>739417265
Worship multiple gods, see if lightning strikes the building.

>>739423365
well, it's true that it's fucked up that you all basically watched him yank it. but it's still fucked up he yanked in the presence of Jesus Christ.

show bellybutton and go to bed

>>739423672
rollan for dis

cum and start farting

>>739423634
Are you 8?

>>739423492
rolling for OP to become a holy roller!! Can I get an AMEN??

>>739422225
QUADS

Shit on the floor and then cum on it

>>739423778
R E R O L L

OP draw a pentagram on the entrance and turn the cross upside down and write some spooky edgy shit like"this church belongs to Satan" or some shit

>>739423766
that's not quads you fucking retard there's a five on the end you blind piece of shit

>>739422285
Lol trips

>>739423603
rolling

>>739423820
Roll

Pray and leave

>>739423667
Well, if you believe Christians, Jesus is everywhere. He's been right there and watched you every time you've yanked it. Think of that next time you're doing it.

fall asleep in the isle

>>739423263
Rolling for this

>>739423603
R O L L

>>739423849
that's not trips you fucking moron

the amount of christ fag larping is staggering

anyway spray paint the worse bible verses you can find all over the walls

Burn it down

>>739423820
Kek

Piss on the walls, tear bibles turn crosses

>>739423962
Reroll

>>739423745
No, chances are I am older than you and I am an atheist. But it IS creepy. Have you been there?

>>739423899
lol so close to absolute fail

.. anyways, if trips OP starts yodelling until forcibly removed.

>>739417265
Fall on your knees and pray, like you never prayed before, for all the worthless sinners on /b/.

>>739423263
Reroll

File: 1493147164705.png (4KB, 281x236px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 281x236px

>>739417265
Blow a load on the body of Christ.

>>739417265
>Black Spraypaint:
>"Allahu Akbar" on altar
>"Hail Satan" on vestibule
>"HAIL HAIL ROCK & ROLL" across doors
>Go get tacos and watch the news.
>I'm kinda hungry for tacos.

REEEE loudly

>>739424003
>003
fucking hell

re-roll for this

>>739423993
Roll

>>739418054
This is a good one. Roll.

make it look like a ritual happened on the stage, lay fake blood, feathers, black candles and pour vinegar everywhere.

>>739424071
rollan for this

File: 1481178884707.jpg (557KB, 1596x879px) Image search: [Google]

557KB, 1596x879px

find the collection plate and put money in it

>>739418054
rolling for this

Shit on the floor and write "Hail Satan" with shit

>>739417265
cum on jesus

>>739424090
Rolling

>>739424113
re-roll

Repent

>>739424160
Reroll

>>739417265
in orange spray paint, write "r/atheism"

dress up like a priest and start a sermon

>>739424162
roll

>>739424113
Kek and roll

>>739424041
the cracker things or the statue?

>>739424201
reroll

>>739423899
There you go, OP, you gotta jerk off in the pews.

>>739417265
Break as much as possible

wow wtf no trips yet

>>739424201
roll

>>739424231
Both

shit in all the toilets, dont flush, then leave. EZ

>>739424160
rolling

>>739424162
rolling for thi

convert to islam

>>739424201
roll

>>739423997
I'm 41, catholic, was an acolyte, a lay minister, and my family built and runs the parish here.

How the hell do you think a god that created the entire fucking universe is here on earth of all the places one could be omnipotently, doing apparently fuck all but sitting in an empty room in your church quietly waiting for the next mass? Man, the shit people say amazes me.

>>739417534
rolling

File: This.jpg (8KB, 200x202px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 200x202px

>>739424263
>>739424231

>>739417265
Piss. Everywhere.

>>739424320
rolling

>>739424244
winrar

burn it down

>>739424333
you fucking dickhead

>>739417265
Take a shit in the stoup

File: IMG_1693.jpg (148KB, 908x812px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 908x812px

Pray for me, OP, an old veteran of the Great Faggot War ... I done shit in that war I ain't proud of.

>>739424333
for fuck's sake

undress and lay on the altar

>>739417265
Give all your money to the church. Repent your sins.

>>739424357
No

>>739424333
You fucking piece of shit

>>739424333
fuck you

>>739424201
rol

>>739424041
Admittedly, this is some sort of strange turn-on now that I picture it.

It's like, something primal, with authority figures, oedipal complex, the seeds of life, and shit I don't fully understand

>>739424333
you dun goofed you shitty papist

>>739424333
of course a Catholic rolls in and fucks it all up.

Shit, cum, piss and puke on the floor

drink a glass of water

>>739424578
Reroll

What now OP

>>739424333
Trips!
Well there you go OP. You got to become catholic, be an acolyte, a lay minister and build and run a parish there.
Be sure to post pics.

>>739424333
Supertrips

and, fuck you!

Deus Vult tho

>>739424578
roll

>>739424495
You're thinking too much. I'm asking you to blow loads on things for humor's sake.

>>739424333
Print off 100s of copies of this post, and scatter them around the church

>>739417265
spraypaint a rainbow with "#gaypride" under it

>>739424602
We wait for another trip

>>739424578
This

>>739424669
roll

>>739424725
Reroll

>>739424660
reroll

>>739424333
god dammit man, OP doesn't have time for all that

>>739424333
OK, I know I am a heathen for being on /b. But you are a heathen and a hypocrite for being here.

>>739423322
Better yet, leave an upper decker in one of the toilets.

>>739417265
Pray your gay away

>>739424113
Reroll

>>739424660
breddy gud bro
thisss

File: 1499822247964.gif (495KB, 460x319px) Image search: [Google]

495KB, 460x319px

>>739417265
Cake farts on the altar?

>>739424578
Rerolling

Give thanks to the Lord

Burn it down

>>739424660
rolling for this

>>739424660
again

>>739424784
Yeah thanks, but your judgement is your own concern, not mine. I've got a lot bigger fucking shit behind me than coming to /b and fapping to gore threads.

File: Carl2.jpg (87KB, 500x300px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 500x300px

>>739424333

>>739424660
roll

Go away you cunt

>>739424660
this

File: 1492564062572.jpg (51KB, 555x344px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 555x344px

>>739424333

Nothing because you won't because you're a bitch

>>739417265
shit somewhere difficult to find, like a vent, and shit in it

>>739424495
When I was little my big sister would make me jerk off in front of her. Me naked, her just watching, fully clothed. I always found it sort of comforting in some weird way. Something we would regularly do alone together.

Take a shit on the floor, stick a statue of jesus into it head first, surround it with lit candles.

Draw a pentagram with shit on a wall

>>739424578
roll

>>739425132
rolling

>>739425192
roll

>>739424895
reroll

>>739424697
we already got trips. OP has his mission now

>>739425144
What were your ages? Did you ever do anything more with each other?

>>739424660
reroll

>>739424578
roll>>739424536

>>739425332
are you autistic?

Get drunk as fuck and pass out in one of the pews. See what happens in the morning.

>>739417534
Rolling. Make even the Norwegians jealous.

File: Favim.com-9gag-meme-troll-462690.jpg (68KB, 610x610px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 610x610px

>>739425332
Rolling for this

>>739425011
Dude, after you got trips, you got dubs!!!
Its a sign from god! Or to say it in your religious way of speaking: "Its a damn fucking miracle and shit"

>>739417265
empty an entire can of liquid ass into the church

>>739425332
this

>>739425540
re

>>739425119
yep, there it is. It is decided.

File: 1182px-GA_Ordre_du_Saint-Sépulcre.svg.png (595KB, 1182x900px) Image search: [Google]

595KB, 1182x900px

>>739417265
Print these with the words
DEUS VULT
And insert one in every songbook.

>>739425332
rolling

>>739417534
Burn it down, anon.

>>739424660
do this

>>739417534
Reroll