Get it off your chest/Feels thread. Whatever feel is on your

Me and the love of my life are being torn away from each other and there's nothing we can do about it. I would rather be dead

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I wish i had *normal* friends. I only have like 4 friends, and they're all either left wing snowflakes or right wing nazis. I have no idea what to do.

>>739239822
Me and the love of my life are slowly but surely growing apart and there's nothing that can keep it from happening.

Neil Young was indeed right, there's nothing worse than fading away.

>>739239954

Get away from /pol/. But seriously, find new boards to socialize on. If you follow the news, find new news blogs to post on or find some sites that revolve around things you like. I'm not gonna tell you making new friends will be easy, but it is factually possible. Godspeed, anon.

>>739239822

If you care to share, what's the sitch', anon?

>>739239671
It's not even that I can't get a girlfriend, but at the same time I've never been able to catch feelings for anyone. Everytime I becomes friends with a grill we're never around each other enough for me to develop any connection. Am I just doomed to forever be a virgin and walk along the path to wizardry?

>>739240846
Too put it shortly she's being forced off to college for a degree she doesn't want in a place she doesn't want to be. We have maybe a little over a month left. And it's crushing my entire spirit.

>>739241900
I'm the first poster in that thread. That's what i'm becoming

>>739241749

That sounds truly dire, anon. I'm assuming there's no way she can get out of this position? Will she be able to contact you while she's in school?

>>739242021
We're going to talk more about it but I don't think she could. There's a chance, slim, but there is a chance. And yes we can talk all the time. But I know long distance stuff doesn't usually work. At this point I'm willing to try anything. Neither of us have ever had such a genuine connection and a true love for each other.

>>739239671
I am literally drowning in a sea of self hatred and loneliness. I always thought people who said that kind of corny shit were just being faggots until I actually felt what it was like. Why is it so hard to belong?

>>739241402

Not necessarily. It's a terrible cliche, but online dating sites are your friend. There are a lot of free sites out there, and not just the usual ones. (For the love of god, tindr is NOt a dating app.) Even fetlife is a place to look. Think outside the box. You'll find someone, anon. It's scary, but you must be willing to put in a little time, and a little effort, each day. You'll find that someone anon. Don;t lose hope.

>>739239671
Wish I could find actual love and meaning instead of drinking myself to death

>hate my job
>hate where I live
>hate my relationship
Only reason I don't get up and leave is the difficulty required and the lack of money

pretty much the epitome of loneliness.
lived alone since early teens, now in early 20s and still very much alone in same house.
drink every other night, quit drugs recently because they made me extremely paranoid but just took up drinking and abusing prescriptions instead.

anyone wanna talk not on here, will cam out of boredom.

>male

>>739242362
My gf and I tried the long distance Uni thing. We were donezo 2 months in. GL anon.

>>739239671
I feel so fuking lonely.. i'm love the fuking gf of my friend, she is the only person i ever met that is fuking insane and depressed like me, we have so much in common and sometimes we meet and talk bout feelings and other shit without my friend knowing it, but she doesn't like me, i already told her what i feel, but she want to only be friends...

>>739242512
Thanks b

>>739242604

people who do the difficult things tend to end up happy. anyone who would pass up happiness because its 'difficult' deserves what he has.

>>739242610

skype or discord? i want to write about a character like you.

It's crazy to be in a situation where you have no reason to be alive anymore, but you don't want to close people to be hurt by it. So you just continue through life lonely with no reason to live enduring the pain day in and out. In and out.

>>739242824
Say I quit my job
Move somewhere else
Leave my bitch
Who's to say I'll be happy?
I could just be broke alone and jerking off just as miserable as I was before I uprooted. There's no guarantee.

>>739242676
Thank you anon. I'll need it, I wish you the best of luck with all of life and it's twists and turns

>>739243037

>there's no guarantee

right, which means you COULD end up happy. whereas where you are now you are guaranteed not happy.

so why on earth would you take misery over potential happiness just because misery is guaranteed?

>>739239671
I feel that /b/ro... Everytime I get into it, it starts off smoothly, but then i start second guessing myself all the time and begin creating self doubt and worrying if im right for her or if shes right for me, if i'll end up being a help or a hindrance to her, if we'll just eventually split and it'll all have been a waste of time... etc.

>>739242879

drop ur skype ill add you

>>739243009
I know that feel anon. You're not alone

family shit is just the worst and it just doesn't seem to end. the more I reflect on it the worse it was.

>older brother molested me when I was 4
>he wasn't much older than me so I could forgive him but as we got older other things kept happening
>he'd sneak in and watch me shower, admitted he was trying to catch me masturbating
>parents acted like it was no big deal just big brother stuff
>when i finally told my parents he'd molested me they told me i needed to 'do something about it' (re: pretend it didn't happen) because other wise we'd be a broken family
>on family trips id beg to be allowed to sleep on the floor, theyd insist i share a bed with him. I said i was fine sleeping on the floor but they'd yell at me and tell me I was being dramatic.
>my dads solution anytime my brother did anything was to tell me to either A) fight back (he was literally twice my weight) or B) force us to spend time together 24/7
>when I had moved out I came back to visit once and he threatened me with violence over something innocuous i posted on facebook
>so i pulled a gun on him and told him never to touch me or threaten me ever again

just found out his wife is pregnant. i fear for their child.

>>739243384

solarsailors

>>739239671
i have a wife of 7 years and a 3 month old kid.

i fucking hate everything about my life, and i'm thinking about "going out for a gallon of milk" and actually just disappearing and never looking back.

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Tomorrow i'm going to ask a girl ive gone and hung out with a few times out on a date. I don't really know if it will work out but im hoping it will. A friend has told me that it seems like she is into me and we talk alot.

>>739242417
>>739242584
>>739242604
>>739242610

Sorry for the group rely, but I feel everything that all of you are feeling. It seems that no matter how many friends I have, I'm always alone in my own head. My dad is an alcoholic, and it really looks that I'm going the same way. Iv'e always been a science-minded person, which has driven me to read all that I can about human development. A bad home environment and bad parenting leads to bad outcomes in adulthood. That's where I am, where all of us may be. The thing that drives me to continue striving for something better is the thought that there IS something better, that science will provide an answer to my nagging depression. We're not alone, anons. We are everywhere, and we will find a path to self-fulfillment. It is my sincerest hope that you all join me on the road there.

>>739243174
Misery is easier.
The path of less resistance.

>>739239954
dont let them change you m8

>>739239954
Go full 1488
HEIL HITLER

>>739243384
>>739243506

Room for one more in this chat?

>>739239671
I cant stop thinking about death and constantly wonder what it's like and I want to try and kill myself but i don't really want to die and the constant wonder is fucking my life up mentally and i dont want to seek help because i know no one really actually gives a shit about me so i reside here on 4chan because this is the only place that i have found where i similar interests as other people and also because i keeps my mind busy and somehow with all the fucked up shit on here keeps me sane

>>739243495

>father i never really met til i was 4 because of the navy
>he seemed to have a bias against me
>when we were younger he'd smack us a lot
>i was a nervous laugher, so if i laughed he'd smack me again, and again, and again until I could hold the laughs in.
>he believed i was being 'rebellious' laughing to indicate I was not afraid / hurt so he just kept hitting harder.
>my older brother disliked carrots, so my father did not make him eat them when we had them with dinner
>i did not like lasagna, so my dad would not let me leave the table until I finished it
>lasagna made me sick, so I would stay up til about 2 am and then my fathre would get mad and force feed me lasagna until I threw up
>he would then tell me i was being 'dramatic' for throwing up.
>as we got older he'd hit us less
>he'd just start yelling at us for any reason.
>one time when I was 9 I remember telling him what I had learned in school
>he yelled at me and demanded to know who 'taught me that'
>it was some random historical or science fact i dont even remember
>i explained my teacher told me that and he yelled at me, so angry for some reason, telling me not to believe everything she teaches me. (to note, it wasn't something stupid, it was just a random factoid from history or science i cannot recall, nothing religious or contradictory)
>we eventually stopped going out to eat because my father would always find a reason to yell in the restaurant either at us or at the weight staff / manager so we just gave up going out by the time i was in highschool.
>when dad wasn't over seas i spent most of the time in my room avoiding him

>>739243630
Don't ask women out on dates dude. Just hang out with her, just the two of you, at night time where sex is a possibility. She'll infer from it that it's a date.

>>739243674

sure, but that doesn't change what i said:
>>739242824

if you want to be miserable because its easy thats fine, but there are people posting about real problems here, so you know, go play emo somewhere else.

>>739244052
I mean like we've gone and walked around for multiple hours a few times. Chatting and stuff. Was gonna invite her too a movie and try and actually get a relationship going on.

>>739244009

sure add me

>>739239671
My grandmother is dying. Her health has been going down for the past two weeks. I was supposed to be informed when this all started going down (I live in Wyoming, rest of family lives in Illinois.) but my aunt who was in charge of calling me never told me. My grandmother never said anything either. She and my mom talked 2 days ago and she didn't say a word. And I feel like shit. Because I grew up and live so far away, I've barely ever seen her in person and whenever I talked to her on the phone and she had troubles hearing or responding I'd think "Please let this be over soon." instead of appreciating the time I had with her.

>>739244478
Try you're best to just do what you can. Even just talking to her on the phone would be a nice thing. I know that she would appreciate it.

>>739244038

finally there's mother
>growing up she was our rock really
>without her i dont think i ever woulda survived dad, and she was the only one taking care of us when he was gone of course
>after i moved out there was a shift though
>she began drinking a lot apparently
>she soon became obsessed wtih the idea of suicide
>the first time she texted me a suicide note it was just 'i love you, goodbye'
>didn't even realize it was a suicide note.
>called her and we cried a bit and she claimed she just needed to know i cared (re: attention whoring)
>since then she at least pretends to commit suicide once every two months
>one time my dad found her passed out and she had taken every pain pill she had
>they pumped her stomach and survived
>since then she constantly promises and threatens and keeps saying that im the onyl reason she hasnt done it yet
>she constantly lies and manipulates us, one time asking my brother to threaten me (the time i pulled the gun on him) over something i posted on facebook
>ive been giving her a pep talk every day for the last 7 years nad i cant take it anymore
>finally cut off my full family and got a new phone with a new number so they cant reach me

>>739244839
I'd love to. But she's deteriorated to the point where she doesn't recognize people on the phone or just stops talking sometimes. It breaks my heart. When I was told she's going to pass within the next week, I just started sobbing and wailing.

>>739239671
I'm 14 and i masterbait and i feel so weird

>>739245069
Sorry to hear that. I only hope she passes peacefully.

>>739245345
Thanks. I'd go up to see her now, but she doesn't want anyone to see her so weak. Her primary values are grace and dignity, and she told us that if she ever got to this point, to not see her like that and remember her as strong and graceful. I intend to honor that.

>>739245288
You shouldn't do this anon. You will get hairy palms.

>>739239954
same here dude, they're all obama loving cuts and honestly I just slowly retracted myself from hanging out with them. Picked up a new martial art, learned to be alright with just being with myself. Believe it or not I find it to be a lot better once you learn that you don't need left-wing cucks in your life

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>>739245010

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>>739246104

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>>739246163

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>>739246190

>>739239671
Just coming to terms that my narcissistic mom abused me throughout my childhood and now wants to come back into my life after 2 years no contact. I'm 23, and just want to workout, find love and stay away from her as she's a destructive, depressed person. Sucks though that I have to cut her off and my friends don't understand how batshit insane she is but it is what it is

>>739239671
Relationship just ended, trying to meet girls again and forgot how fucking annoying this bullshit is.
Start talking to a girl, witty and flirtatious banter transpires, eventually she gives me her number. Awesome.
Then every time I try to ask her out she makes up some bullshit excuse and flakes on me. Why did you give me your number if you have no interest? At this point if they do it twice I just text them to basically say "if you're interested, YOU make a plan and ask me. I'm not playing this game."
One even agreed upon a time and place to meet up the next day, then never showed and stopped responding to any of my messages.

I miss my ex and can only hope to get back with her. We're still really good friends and it was nothing too serious and only a month. But I'm worried my drinking and smoking scares her and I'm trying to quit. I just want to feel love again is all. Everyday I just feel this loneliness and talk to nobody for days except her occasionally. She told me she had loved me but I think it was just a friendly one. I'd do anything just to hug her again.

Alcohol is the only thing that can numb my pain. I'll sit and cry into a bottle for an entire night all by my lonesome..Until I have to wake up and put on a great big smile for all to see. Only to get home and do it all again. I swear that when you start learning more about the universe and all the shit in it and the science behind it, for some reason it made me so fucking depressed. Nothing is real and nothing matters. We are a blink in time only to exist and cease. All life and events on Earth will fade and become nothing like they once were.Whether I live or not does not matter. Whether I kill myself or not doesn't matter. Nothing matters at all. Existence is all fake.

>>739242362
> One of my best friends had a long relation for several years (3 or 4). They were both in different countries with a thousand miles trying to break their love. It didn't work and they are finally together (in a third country by the way). I think the worse part was her being jalous. Distance psychoted her a lot and enoyed a lot my friend.
I don't know if studies worth it, but you can give it a try. Uf you love each other, everything can happen.

>>739239954
Nazis are left wing. Left is totalitarianism and right is anarchy.

>>739243009
Same here. I found no reason to die tho. Except the fact that I don't like living either.

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>>739247099
chek'd and i fucking feel anon, i feel...

>>739244026
> I already die once. And this may be the reason I wont an hero. Actualy nothing happen and you litteraly dont feel anything anymore. Its not like when you sleep where you feel time passed. You are out of time and dont feel it. Between the moment I collapsed and the one I've been brought back, nothing happened at all for me. At least pain stopped as well.

>>739247099
A month? Love?
For fucks sake anon move on, dont let her be your oneitis you pussy

>>739239671
I wanted to become buff and strong so I wouldn't be a weak manlet anymore, and now I'm neither. I wanted to learn martial arts so I wouldn't get beaten up again, and now I'm scared to fight because I nearly choked my last opponent to death.

I did everything to improve myself, and now I'm scared of who I've become.

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After four years, I finally found an amazing girl. I asked her to a military ball-spur of the moment-and we surprisingly fell for each other. Over the next week or so, we couldn't have enough of each other. I almost convinced myself I might have found that special someone, the person I could finally pour all my pent up love and passion into. Someone that wouldn't simply leave me empty inside again, longing for reciprocated compassion and companionship. But then she found out I was leaving in a few weeks for a six month job overseas. Overnight she became distant, only later sending me a wall of text of how she just got out of long relationship and didn't want anything serious or committed so soon. Devastated yet understanding, I spent the next few weeks meeting new women, having empty casual sex, still chasing that feeling you let me have so briefly. Even now, when I wake up with another naked body next to mine, you are still on my mind but I know to respect your wishes, and that I truly will only hurt you if I don't. Maybe you'll except my phone call this spring when I'm home. Maybe things will have changed for the better. Or maybe I should just get used to this feeling of disappointment and emptiness.

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>bank denied me a home loan cause my overtime pay isn't calculated as normal wages.
>VA isn't going to get me hip replacement surgery, despite taking shrapnel for Murrica, thanks Haji..
>girlfriend has gotten fat so I'm not longer attracted to her.
>younger brother killed himself at college over a girl and grades.
>parents hate me cause I joined military and think I'm pro trump cause I didn't vote for Hillary.

It all just slowly sucks, sprinkled with PTSD induced insomnia.

>>739247332
here we have an ignorant 16 year old who can't use google

>>739249523
that sucks
don't be ungrateful about ur gf being fat
don't be a fag
>>739249032
send her this paragraph when u get back

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I just typed this up as a kind of rough draft of a message i think I will send to her. What do you think I should cut out/revise or should I say something completely different?


I wanted to say this now because I feel if I didn't that I will regret it. I like spending time with you a lot and feel like you enjoy spending time with me. I feel like there is some connection between us and I'd like to see if perhaps that could maybe blossom into something serious. What I want to say is that in regards to the movie on Thursday I would like to consider it a date. If you feel like there's something too then that's great but if you want to just remain friends too I'm fine with that as well, I enjoy spending time with you regardless. I just figured I would get this off my chest so I don't have any regrets.
Thoughts?

>Stuck home in the middle of buttfuck nowhere for the summer
>Messed up my uni exams so will now probably not get onto a master's program
>Grandma, who I love dearly, died last week
>Single, and not a shred of evidence to suggest that will ever, ever change

There is no respite

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>only have 2 friends, friend A haves a retard dad, says no to everything, but she's already 18. Friend B just don't want to go outside. Never.
>the boy I love start to meet another girls
>great depression is back, I don't know if I want to be alone or not
>I miss my brothers in the south really hard, but I have to stay at home with the pets while my family travels in the rest of the holidays
>6 week holidays completely ruined.

>>739239671
Been raped as a boy, neglected, abused through most of my preteen/teen years by a girlfriend at the time, alcoholic and substance abuse now, ptsd and bipolar disorder. I'm 18 btw

>>739239671
Too much for me to say for something we all know but I'm just tired of being alone.

Everyone can find someone so easy yet it always seems so damn hard for me to get anything. Whenever I feel like I'm close to finding someone, life comes and slaps me. Yet I can introduce two friends to each other and they hit it off so easily.

It just seems like everyone has always had someone that they chose over everyone else but I've never been that type of person to anyone

>>739239671
I used to be a permavirgin loser, finally fucked a couple of girls and was in a relationship for awhile. I realized I didnt like that anymore than I did being a permavirgin. I kinda like being a loser. Kinda wanna fuck a tranny, maybe Im gay I dont even know anymore. Afraid if I give into the boipussy though ill hate myself even more.

>>739239671
>be me
>be depressed because shit job, shit marriage and shit history being abused
>have friend that I have been talking to for 3 years
>closest confident although ever met her once
>pretty much tell each other everything and help with emotional problems
>writing messages more or less daily
>consider her one of my closest friends
>some months ago her answers get shorter and she doesn't really share any more and doesn't initiate conversation
>goes on and I try to give her some freedom and such shit
>she just informed me that she wants to stop talking because I remind her of her past (the very things that I talked her through over the last few years)
>I am not in love or such shit, but it surely hurts a lot to be thrown away
>there are more than 20000 messages in the history and it will never be more

IM TIRED OF LIVING IN HELL BEING LONELY AND SHIT IM FUCKING TIRED OF BEING SAD. WHY SHIT ALWAYS GOTTA GO SOUTH HUH? WHY THE FUCK CANT ANYTHING WORK FOR ME? IM TIRED OF WALKING THROUGH THIS HELL IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING FURIOUS

sometimes i just want to disappear.

>>739239671
I hate cans that don't stack.

>>739243495
Call child protective services if you ever suspect anything

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Anyone else have that feelio where you desperately crave a loving, fulfilling relationship, yet you're also terrified by the thought of being in a relationship?

>>739239671
I want to date this girl who's married, she's getting a divorce but if we start dating it means her abusive husband could get more than he deserves.

>>739245288
I dont know what to say. Confess to your parents. Masturbation is a disease and they'll help you.

my girlfriend and i been arguing these past weeks, i acknowledge both my wrong doings and hers, but she only acknowledges mine and i try to tell her about it, and she just gets mad and says "im done" im trying so hard to fix this, i love her i really do, just now she texted me "The only thing I did wrong other than calling you a fuck up is giving you a second chance" i tried explaining to her again that im trying to fix this, but i cant, what should i do /b/?

>>739257162
I know you probably don't want to hear this man, but you should probably go your separate ways and find a girl who would've have been grateful to have given you a second chance for your short comings. Also someone that doesn't acknowledge her own issues but focuses on yours is simply a destructive person who you wouldn't want to be a role model for your future kids as they deserve better too. Make the call man and take your losses, it happens to the best of men.

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>>739253871

>Have a long distance relationship with a girl i live for about 2 years now
>Im hanging out with a girl that i liked since i met her 7 years ago but now we are just friends
>We are getting really close and all of her friends and my friends think we should be together
>I just want us to stay as friends but ive no idea how to act if the situation escalates
>been seeing dreams about her for the last 2 weeks and my mood is down because of the situation

>>739258340
love* not live

>father molested me when I was 5
>father killed himself when I was 6
>generally ignored and treated like an outcast all my life
>hospitalized in mental hospital multiple times, I've lost count but it's 10+
>took me three tries to get a degree because of hospitalization/illness
>struggling at job because illness is holding me back
>my best friend moved to a different country last year, I don't have anybody else
>I want to move away to a different country but I'm scared of starting afresh, the money, finding new doctors, getting my medication, etc.
>If you're curious I have a personality disorder and an eating disorder.
>Later this year I'm going abroad to study at the school of my dreams and hopefully turn my life around but I'm scared my illness will hold me back and fuck things up for me yet again, as it always has, all my life.

Me and a girl fell in love hard for 2 weeks, then I had to leave her to come home.

what the fuck why didn't I stay?

I wish the love of my life would come back to me. I feel so alone

>>739259856
This so much anon, the stress of it is literally killing me.

>>739261375
She just left. Stopped saying she loves me. Won't even return to pick up her stuff. I literally have nobody but her. I think I'm slowly diving into madness

>>739239671
Girl I like doesn't know I exist. I have no friends and am constantly left out of social events. Have never had a girlfriend. Am obese. Feel like dying every night. Only thing that stops me is i don't want to make my parents sad

>>739257162
you should move the fuck on, because it sounds like she has.

>>739257408
you might want to find out what he did before defending him. maybe she is making the right move.

>>739239954
Fuck normal friends man. A least your buddies sound like they have some good convoy topics. It's OK to have weird friends just as long as they're good people

>>739254511
>>739254511
pretty much my entire life up to 30. We have this whole "marriage" template for dating, and it is really fucked up.

My friends are everywhere but here and my gfs been away working all summer across the country. Feel pretty lonely and ain't got shit to do.

>>739239954
I fucking hate having normal friends, I want friends more into weird shit and more like me.

>>739261646
Sorry to hear that anon.

My ex is still my friend as we were best friends before this, they are my closest and only friend. I was abruptly left for another, the worst part is any distance from them makes me ill and seriously aggravates a medical condition of mine to the point I am bed ridden from stress. Yet, when I am with them they sometimes accidentally talk about this person which also hurts my medical condition and makes it hard to breathe. I do want to be around them, but I have already been hospitalized twice now for stress. I have no way out... I just really don't want them to know how bad it is medically so they have a shot at life.

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>old best years behind me
>love my wife and kid but still empty inside
>work is failing, can't get new clients
>have sleep issues my whole life, always tired
>anti-depressants have been working less and less well. I'm now on so many the pharmacist flips out and has to confirm my orders every month.
>got of drugs ion my 20s, but picked up all these compulsive behaviors instead
>I miss my therapist. She was like a mom to me, I saw her for 15 years. She was the only grown up woman in my life. She retired, and was basically like "we had a professional relationship". I guess was sort of like falling in love with a stripper, but that stripper was my mother figure.
>My crazy as fuck ex has been texting me again. She can't afford food. her mental health people won't send her a taxi cab. She's been calling the governor and complaining. It breaks my fucking heart. I still give her a bit of cash each month, but it isn't enough. And it feels like I'm cheating on my wife, even though she is ok with it.

nothing feels right.

I promised myself I wouldnt play videogames tonight, I'd work instead. but I'm here on /b/ wishing I was ded

>>739262667
this is why we were supposed to all learn how to survive on minimum wage, and run off of our 401k's until death comes

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>>739239671
>be me
>literally only talk to one person consistently
>everyone else ignores me or replies to my messages with lol
>no one loves me
>feel like i annoy everyone i talk to
>feels like i have to pull teeth to try to find people to hang out with
>i have no idea how to fix my problem

>>739239671
I get way to shitface with shitty people I don't even like at a shitty bar and my main reason for being depressed is because I'm constantly going "fuck why do I do this to myself. I can't believe I did that". So I'm in this cycle of drink and regret. Fucking aclochlic

I wish I had more single friends. Most of mine are now married and it just means they do far more things as couples. What most of them don't get is that I really don't mind being a third/fifth/seventh wheel. A few of them do, but I miss out on so much just because they think it'll be awkward. I'm not *that* socially inept that I'm bothered about public displays of affection around single people.

>>739262358
I have been in many other relationships prior, none of those break ups have screwed around with my health though. I was also able to get over those in under a week. When I was told they were visiting this new guy alone for an entire week coming up I just got away from the conversation, puked my guts out, and went to bed. The stress induced heart issues last week were probably the worst of it, I was in the ER thinking I was going to die. The world can be some real sick fuck shit.

>>739263385
I can concur with this. I developed shaky hands (think Doctor Strange). Some moments I have a hard time breathing (I have asthma). I thought all of this love-related shit was a myth. Until I felt it myself.

My gf and I are late bloomer virgins in our 20s. She's borderline asexual. She enjoys the companionship of the relationship but has no interest in any sexual activity. She's tried to masturbate four times in her life- the first two times her arms gave out before anything happened, the third time she said she felt aroused as opposed to the nothing of the first two but it took over an hour, and the fourth time she said the feeling wasn't worth the effort and it was so weak she's not even sure she came. I'm pretty sure she just edged that last time. I've tried bringing up sex and it's just not happening yet. She's admitted she's into fishnet lingerie, chubby guys, and riding cowgirl. I'm chubby, I planned on having her on top as that's my favorite position in porn and I'm slightly above average in the cock department, and I give no fucks about lingerie since it's coming off anyway.

I think I found her reset button. We were hugging goodbye a couple weeks ago at her place and I decided to give no fucks and position myself in a way that she'd have to straddle my leg (she thinks a boner is gross/weird still so I try to avoid contact for her sake). I then grabbed her ass and pulled her so she was mounted on my leg and I slowly raised and lowered it to make her grind my leg, bumping into the side of my dick at the peak of the motion. Her response was to basically fall on me and reposition her tits to be fully supported by my chest instead of her bra and she became completely unresponsive for about 10 seconds after that. I got quite a bit more hands-on than normal when I squeezed her ass and tits for a bit after she snapped out of it while we kissed goodbye. She just smiled and said "I love you", flashed some cleavage (a rare thing with her), and walked inside. I have no clue what caused her to reboot but I'll try it again tonight to see if the results are similar.

>>739264098
Thanks for the story

>>739264098
If she finds using her hands are tiring, did you suggest her to let you try to make her cum (or at least feel something) with your fingers? From what you say i assume that you really want to do stuff with her, and even just caressing and then fingering her would be pretty pleasurable for you.
You said you were late bloomers, did you already make someone cum with your fingers?

Someone I know is purposely sabotaging my chances with the girl I want :/ I don't even know why

>>739265705
They want her too, it is obvious.

>>739265972
Fuck, they ruined any chance of even being friends by basically making up all sorts of lies about me

>>739239671
I quit drinking and smoking weed a few days again. I wasted a decade of my life on this.
I can't stop crying. I'm so lonely I want a drink. Fuck me dead.

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>>739239954
>TFW pretty much in the same boat except I'm black so people expect me to be liberal.
FML

002132

>>739264098
Buy a Hitachi wand

I wish my ex-girlfriend wasn't bipolar and fat so I'd be happier in that relationship and never dump her.

>>739266283
What did they say about you?

21 virgin and never even kissed a girl.
Mum has mental issues and father kicked me out of the house for his new wife and kid.
Masturbate 10+ times a day and have no hobbies outside /b/.
Only reason I don't consider soduku is because I know there are people suffering much worse than me and the schadefreude keeps me living
Tl:dr no matter how shit your life is, feel encouragement in your life being better than mine.

I want to have less acne, i am taking some meds but my confidence is already fucked up, i just want to have more confidence to go outside or places, i hope my acne stops soon to finally do what i want to do.

>>739264588
Nope, we're each other's firsts. A 17 year addiction to amateur lesbian and pov porn has taught me what to do if I ever get the chance. I know the whole "porn doesn't work in reality" but when the chick's convulsing like a fish and turning red from the chest up and gasping for air I'd go back a few minutes and watch the buildup without my dick in my hands, listening to the commands and essentially making a database of tricks of the trade. The issue with my gf is she has virtually no response to anything other than that recent experience. That spot on the neck just below the jaw near the ear gets a "what are you doing?", the entire neck is zero response zone, her boobs are insensitive to the point where she uses them to slap me awake if I fall asleep at her place, barely touching the small of her back gets a "what's up?", running my hand on/down her thigh gets a blank stare, a neck/back/butt/leg massage gets a sleepy "thanks". It's like the sole erogenous point on her also happens to be the point she's alluded is currently off limits

I have made a place for myself in the real world with a woman, house, two cars, career and I hate every single part of it. I have chosen not to have kids because I don't want to curse any children with such a pathetic coward for a father. I've been with the same woman for 10 years and she has gotten fat and disgusting. I've taken most of her child bearing years and I feel guilty but not enough to bear the conflict of separating. I no longer find joy in anything except booze. I just want to escape to the woods and grow pot and tomatoes and play my guitar and enjoy the passing of each season with my dog.

I have some seriously intense sexual desires that I had to supress like crazy when I was in a relationship. Now I doubt that I will ever be able to be in a relationship cause they keep popping up. I haven't acted on them yet though.

>>739269115
They are?

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>be me
>no job, one freind currently living far away from me
>apply for army i'm more than phsyically fit enough & mentally strong
>train for months on my cardio and pushups/situps
>rejected from army beacuse i had eczma on my face a while ago(a tiny patch around mouth)
>living with parents, don't wanna be a welfare cuck
>wat do
thinking about just packing my bag and being a homeless bum somewhere, better than being a leech

>>739268958
Oh ok this doesn't looks amazing. When you say
>currently off limits
you mean her pussy? Because it looks like she at least tried to feel pleasure, so letting you try once at least to see if there is the merest hint of a response might be plausible right?
The "come here" motion is really a cheatcode for orgasm if you know how to do it. Did you at least have your shot at trying something in that region?

be me
>go to bar with long time friend who is girl
>litterally have been good friends with her for 10 years
>was prom date, had many great memories of high school with her.
>we get to my house after bar
>says she wants butt massage
>give her butt massage
>pass out, wake up next to her.
>wake up
>ask her if she wants butt massage
>she does
>leads to oral sex..she cums
>tells me I can jerk off on her ass
>she says no sex but i ask if i can stick it in for lube
>she says yes...leads to sex
>tells me i have a wide dick
>rides her ass on my dick
>tells me I can cum on butt.
>finish all is well.
>5 minutes later she starts crying about her ex..says she wished this didn't happen. Says she didn't want this to happen
>I apologise and agree we shouldn't do it again
>we get over it and get food.
>bring her back to her ex's
>talk to her on fb that night about a Wednesday fishing trip and her dogs..all is well.
>today she likes some of my memes and such
>all of a sudden disappears from FB
>go on trolling account and look her up
>SHE BLOCKED ME.fml
>didn't block me on Insta

I want to open dialogue with her and make and awkwardness right, she is one of my best girlfriends and I don't want her out of my life.

I've literraly ate nothing but a slice of pizza the last few days and drink non-stop. I fucking don't want her to think badly of me. She told me that she cried when we banged which was not true at all. She even wanted me to go to a concert with me and a barbecue after we had sex. I just can't deal with it. I feel like I violated something even though I know it was consensual and it's mostly in her own head. I feel like I've thrown away 10 years of friendship for 5 minutes of sex. I don't know what to do. I've deleted my Facebook and have been ignoring everyone who asks me what's wrong. I've told 2 of my friends and they told me not to let it bother me...but I can't not let it bother me. I've tried to kill myself but I just cant.

>>739268958
Tell her to relax, make her feel nice before (maybe a massage i don't know).
Without experience i wouldn't recommend jamming several fingers at once, go like this. Arouse her by gently her clit and around it, if there is no way of getting her wet, use a bit a lube, you don't want her to associate pain to being touched there if she is so uninterested by sex. Start with one finger to slowly stretch her out, until you can add a second without any discomfort for her. Ring and major finger are best since it's easier to curl them and they are longer. Keep going in and out but aim for her belly now and press up when you are deep inside her. You should feel that there is a zone slightly different to the touch then really close to the entrance of her pussy or the sides. Keep moving and press harder as you move less in and out to focus on that spot.
You can also use your thumb to play with her clit while you do that.
By the end your palm should be slapping against her (more or less hard depending on how she likes it) and your fingers really pushing up.

I never failed to make a whopping 3 different women cum with that technique (that i have a hard time explaining i admit), including the only fuckbuddy i ever had, who called me latter "just to feel my fingers again". I might have been a bit to excited from making her cum to last long after that...

>>739269871
You leave near her? Go talk to her face to face, tell her that (10y friendship vs 5min sex), you want her back as a friend.
Maybe try to lighten the mood when you mention the sex with a "was i THAT bad?"

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Every time I find a group of people I enjoy I end up disassociating and getting really depressed.. it's like I don't enjoy people being nice to me.
I think I'm afraid of judgment. Getting comfortable enough to be myself is difficult, and when I do I end up crashing hard at the smallest slight. I wish I could just chill, when it comes to other people.

>>739270548
She's the polar opposite of me. She has an addiction problem and I have my life together. I dont know where she is right now. Her aunt lives on the same street as me but she's kind of crazy and never talks to her. My friend lives 30 minutes north somewhere but moves around. I could casually ask her on Insta how she is doing but I don't want her to freak out or something. I don't know what to do.

I made this: http://casualient.com/WNU

There's a thread on the main page of /b/ rn that just ended.

Essentially, we were rolling to have OP do an hero.

Except I didn't roll for that- I rolled for them to live. I nearly got the right number but on of the suicidefags got to it first. Somebody might die and it is almost my fault.

Why do I feel guilt, trying to save the damned from themselves?

>>739239671
Early this year I finally upgraded from being a basement dwelling loser into being a regular loser. I always thought that women would be disgusted to realize I've got nothing and I live with my mum. Obviously I avoided getting too intimate with them. So over a period of time I neglected my social life, focused on other things like finishing my previous degree getting a new one, and making / saving whatever money I could. I spent the money and now I got my own place with all the fancy things.

In the process I got older, fatter and bitter. I lost my self-confidence and joy of life.
Now I only get attention from hideous landwhales and adulterous wives beyond their expiration date.

This year I also had my first scratch on mental health problems. I always thought I was stronger than others because I was used to solving other people's problems but I guess I was wrong.
After working like a maniac for roughly 5 months straight and finally getting my long awaited week-off, which I spent on going abroad and getting piss drunk everyday with strangers. As a result I got into a fight and afterwards experienced somekind of alcohol induced paranoia which I tried to hide to best of my abilities. I did experience some panic attacks later on and spent quite few sleepless nights aswell but managed to get things under control by making serious changes to my habbits. I realized the fears were not truly relevant in my current situation and ended up discussing with my friends and family about how I should progress. Overall it was pretty scary stuff but maybe the scariest part was that in my early youth I had lived a life where things which now scare me were common. Maybe it's the fact that I didn't want to give up the little I had achieved. Maybe it's because I had severed what I once considered strategic ties and now had to stand for myself against what I felt was an omnipotent and passive threat.

Whatever it was I still feel defeated and humiliated in all aspects of life.

>>739270852
you gay

>>739270852
Anons that post about an heroing here are either
>joking
>already planning to do it

He probably was joking.. and even if he wasn't it's likely that he came here expecting people to egg him on.

i had the same situation but it was me leaving. i left a month ago and i w a n t t o d i e

>>739239671
I'm 15 and I can't stop thinking about dying. I don't exactly plan on killing myself, my life is too great for that, but every time I'm on the sidewalk and I see a car driving, I keep thinking about how fast I would have to go to crash against it, and I think that if I were in the middle of the road and it were coming for me, I wouldn't walk away. I don't know, it sounds super edgy but it won't stop

>>739271357
MODS

MODS MODS

>>739271357
underage b&

>>739239671
I'm too scared to come out about depression

>>739271357
Well you can atleast count this as a 4chan suicide, congrats

>>739247332
Mazis are facists and rightwinged, communists, socialists and ARA are legtwingend, autonom