Anyone have an idea for iOS 11? We haven't done this for a while

>>739185910
idk, recharges in water by absorbing the ions or something?

>>739186061
Nah iphones are waterproof now, has to be something that will completely fuck the phones. Maybe charging by naked flame? Idk.

>>739185910
Toaster heat will be absorbed by lithium ion charging it inner seconds!

>>739186255
Nah I don't think anyone will fall for toaster heating, plus it's too similar to the microwave thing

I've heard that if your iPhone 7 came in contact with water then you can't charge it for at least 5 hours, so maybe make a thing where you dip your charging cable and your port in water and it increases the charging time / battery life

>>739186586
Sounds good

You can now charge your waterproof phone in the bath ?

How about a new sensor which measures the car emissions by sticking it right in the exhaust. In theory, it would be dead in seconds if the gas gets hot enough and maybe it also explodes.

>>739185910

maybe something about cutting around the home sensor with a knife. since its no longer a tactile home button. we tell ppl its still there and can be pressed if you cut out the "stencil" around it.


also iphone 8 is supposed to have some big Augmented Reality thing. maybe smart to tie-in with that

>>739186586
fill port with water, put charger in. maybe have people do something with their charger box to make it seem more real. like

1. tie knot in the cable
2. fill the charger hole with water
3. put charger in
4. enjoy the benefits of faster charging because water helps conduct the electricity faster

A decent fecking podcast app that actually works.

ITT A bunch of cheap assed Android peasants try and strike out at the people who can afford the good stuff because they can't.

Alpha as fuck yeah?

>>739186809
But it has to be more like an apple ad not a life hack

>>739186869
Actually I'm the OP and I own and am using an iPhone 7 right now lmfao

>>739186886
true, maybe the toaster thing?

>>739186990
to add to this, say that apple added thermoelectric generators via a software update.

best part is thermoelectric generators are a real thing.

question is, would phone + toaster even kill it?

Nothing with a kitchen appliance or water. It's too similar. How about a way to fix a cracked screen with _____

>>739186751
The new Particle® App that measures your cars emissions. Just place it in your Engine, close the Hood and drive around one Minute Like you would normally Drive. The phone's new intelligent diagnosis automatically connects with the ECU of your engine, as soon as it recognizes that its laying on your engine. Help making the Future more Clean by being aware how dirty your Car is with Apples new Particle® App.

Nothing with a kitchen appliance or water because it's too similar. Perhaps the screen won't crack anymore when you drop it

>>739187333
it cant be a life hack though that wont spread. has to be discussed as an official apple announcement

>>739187333
Magnets? Super glue and credit card spread out?

>>739187478
>Magnets
all that would do is fuck your speakers.

>>739187425
You need an app for this to work. If people can't find the app they'll know it's fake

pum

Freeze your phone in ice to save battery?

idea!

using new cathode ray blasting techniques the phone can now blast particles at your screen stopping the glass from breaking.

get people to take their phones and smash them on rocks or the corner of bricks or something

>>739185910
It can now bend up to 90 degrees, flexible, due to nano technologies, and patented apple batteries.

>>739186966
Lol Ikr, how mad is that guy?
Posted with my iPhone 7

>>739187690
they would notice once they bent it 1 degree and it doesnt bend back that its BS. has to be fast

>>739187654
I was thinking something like this
temperature check water in fridge to boiling your phone in water?

>>739185910
trump can read all your mail so on [insert date here] everyone just shout in your phone FUCK YOU TRUMP I WANT JUSTICE NOW

a perfect way to discredit idiots and sjws in public as what they are

>>739185910
The phone now has the ability to instantly respond to extreme force by momentarily using power from the battery make the liquid crystals form a solid hexagonal lattice structure that is harder than diamond at the impact point that. No more screen protector needed. You can drop it on concrete from 10 feet up and the screen will be fine. Call it "Phase-Shift Protection"

>>739187787
people know water + phone is bad

>>739185910
Magnetic charging. Powerful magnets can slowly recharge your phone, or decrease power consumption, due to technical reasons.

>>739187425
I think it is the best idea so far because, with all this climate change, VW-scandal and so on everybody is paranoid with its car's emissions. But I wouldn't call it an app with its own symbol. It should be more like a built-in tool which activates itself automatically. So nobody can check and apple can't control it anyhow.

Our new ios 11 can harnesse the power new micro electrical particals to build a barrier to protect from fire,electricity,water,dirt,and even concrete

>>739187970
magnets dont do shit to phones besides break your speakers if you try hard enough

how about being able to remotely blow up the battery when the phone is stolen?

>>739188002
but stupid teenagers cant drive. that knocks out a large portion of people that would accually do this

>>739187425
sounds good to me

Sent from my iPhone 7 Plus using Tapanontalk

These are all super retarted. Just try the microwave one again. Theres a whole new generation of kids getting phones now to fuck with

>>739188002
Yeah, this is probs most likely to work b/ros

>>739187425
That's a beautiful idea

Guys let's do absorbing hot water, let's start a hashtag on instagram

>>739188520
wrong thread fucktard

toasters heating elements "can reach 1100-1200 degrees Fahrehneit" Aluminium's melting point
is 1,221°F.
get them to push the back of the phone up against the toaster heating element on high and melt the back of the phone?

Maybe drop it from 2-3 story buildings?

New thermal charging, using microtechnology and shit like that you can now charge your phone by putting an ice cube in the back and using a ligther in the front, the thermal shock in the middle will be enough to charge your phone 1% per second

The problem is most of the people know water+phone=bad. Also, we had a lot of fun with kitchen shit and magnets don't deal enough damage.
In summary, we need something which has nothing to do with water, kitchen supplies, charging or anything else we already did. Also, it needs to be very easy to do for the apple user and it has to be over before he is able to realize that he fucked up. Finally, it needs to deal a LOT of damage.
Because of that, I would say we need to attack the electronic and the battery to destroy it in the shortest possible time.
But because we had a lot of shit with overcharging or microwaving your phone, the car emission tool is the best.
Also, it will mostly affect libtards and lefties, because only they are stupid and concerned about the environment at the same time.

>>739188803
I agree completely. I don't think particles is the best name but the premise is gorgeous

As a sidequest we could have a diy video that shows how to make your phone charge faster by cutting the charger and attaching it to a plug so 120v ac goes in your phone.

Cant the samsung s8 be submerged in water? Why wouldnt people subconciously think their phone could too if they saw ads for a diff popular phone?

And otterboxes are popular, same with scratch proof screens? Why not force (dropping/hammer) to appeal to those who sit on their phones?

Idk im dumb

>>739188803
premise is great but mostly only teens get fooled by this shit. teens cant drive cars.

>>739188803
how about leave your phone on the roof on a hot day? it will leave it to charge and it will have a stronger wifi connection once you bring it down, because it stores radiowaves or some stupid shit.

>>739189097
Stupid normie college commies drive.

Lets do something wifi enhancement. Perhaps attaching something dangerous enhances wifi

How about we make two campaigns at the same time.
We could deal more damage and reach more idiots.
I would say we use the microwave and the car emission shit.

>>739189261
microwave thing was already done

No microwave we already did it. It would be better if we did a life hack because that's vidoes usualy come around a new phone/update
>>739189261

>>739186809
I'd say salt water and say some bullshit about how it interacts with ions

GUYS HOW DO WE GET THIS STARTED

We need to photoshop some apple ads

>>739185910

Just relabel that pic to say ios 11, not fuckin hard

New suckers were born, as well as the last ones who forgot why their phone broke

When is iOS 11 even coming out?

If we start two campaigns we need to do the car emission tool on Tumblr, because they are older and drive cars.
The microwave or sun charging should be done on Instagram, because they weren't around when this was done the last time.

>>739189337
>life hack
people wont trust a life hack but they will trust a fake ad from apple

Why not something that can cause varying amount of damage over a week or month? Possibly still damaging it to void warranty? opposed to doing it instantly, people do it and assume its helping?

>>739189367
By coming up with an idea that isnt terrible like all of the above... fuck, you people are as stupid and unimaginative as they come

>>739189317
>:
That's why we should start it on Instagram. They are mostly 12 years old or younger so they don't know anything about it. Also, they are all normie faggots.

>>739189464
we would need to make an apple instagram account and fill it with marketing stuff so it doesnt seem suspect

>>739186152
>Iphones can now change color when placed on an open flame
>people begin to place their iphones on their kitchen grills, anticipating their devices' pigmentation to change
>profit???

>>739189553
Please bless us shitheads with your beautiful and divine idea oh holy one

>>739189337
>>739189689
this

EVERYONE START POSTING PICTURES OF MICROWAVES AND IPHONES AND SAYING THE HASHTAG #IOS11

>>739189689
Perfect

We should get a discord

>>739189750
on it

>>739189168
We could make a fake ad about solar panels on the screen and for max results, you need to put it on a black surface, because it traps sunlight. And if we use the car emission thing we could make a whole campaign about environment-friendly apple.

>>739189689
Its a software update though that sounds like hardware

>>739189757
Pro Lgbtqia+×$÷^&£

Introducing iPhone telemetry sense™

Your phone now gets stronger signals and faster download speeds by

Due to miscalibrations similar to the compass, telemetry sense requires you to drop the phone on a hard surface

If download speeds do not improve, try a higher distance drop and without a case to shock the calibrations

Also throwing it on the ground may work in a pinch

Repeat as necessary

>>739189873
>software
>hardware
I don't think the average apple consumer would know the difference

>>739189870
It combines two important things.
Apple ads and environment shit.
These normies will take the bait immediately.

>>739189898
Percussive amplification

ANYONE WHO DOES THIS POST A PICTURE ON INSTAGRAM WITH THE HASHTAG #ios11

>>739186869

Oh dear are you new here ?

You probably shaved for beiber right

We need to collect ideas for a campaign about how environment-friendly apple is. They need to be as destructive as possible.

>>739189750
No, people will be suspicious of last time, might be best to wait until we have something definite.

>>73919023kek

>>739190000
Quads noted

>>739186966
>>739190233
Its obviously b8

>>739190000
Quads of truth

Or something like ecoapple

>>739190483
Ecoapple, set phone in fire (can withstand temps up to xxx) for awareness of global warming ?

>>739190277
The most important thing is the details. It needs to look as official as possible. We shouldn't shitpost on Instagram it will make the people suspicious.
It has to be a perfect overall image there can't be any contradictions or mistakes it needs to look like a real campaign of a multi-billion dollar technology giant and not like some shit which was made by some losers on /b/.

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Introducing iPhone Kinetic Charge

With iOS11 comes the exciting new software updates that enables your iPhone to interpret specific electromagnetic heatwaves in order to charge your phone.

Simply place your iPhone into a common household toaster and be sure to leave it there for at least 8-9 minutes. If your iPhone's screen does not turn on, its automatically charging. This will give you approximately 30 minutes of charge.

idk bout this last part:
We can vow for the safety of this new charging method, but please refrain from leaving your iPhone Kinetic Charge mode for over 20 minutes.

>>739190483
I like the idea but the name needs to sound more official.
Think as if you would be paid for this shit and need to feed your family.

EVERYONE USE THE HASHTAG #ios11

>>739190786
AppleCore? Core as in starvation, or earths core? Etc

>>739190693
>t
It will probably explode after max. 5 minutes.

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Could have something like this.
(Made this in 5 minutes very crappy)

>>739190965
should i make it safer and change it to 3?

>>739185910
>refugees welcome

Give your iOS 11 updated phone to an asylum seeker and we give you a new one because your helping humanity and shit

>>739191057

/thread

Apple Green

>Apple cares about our home, Earth. We sought to give attention to the environment with iOS 11 and applicable phones will enable the LCD photo electric diodes embedded in the screen. Simply leave your phone on your car dashboard windshield with direct sunlight to the phone screen for 6 to 7 hours to completely recharge the phone battery.

discord code is daBb2M

It shouldn't be something that says to leave your phone on the roof or anywhere for more than 30 minutes without touching it, people are too addicted to leave their phone alone

>>739191045
I don't think it's bad, it would be very effective destroy, but I would put it inside so they don't see the deformed battery.

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>>739191208
Genius

>>739190693
make sure they have the back of the phone touching the heat elements
>>739188669

>>739191208
Not bad but those wait times are too long,

>>739186869
But my Galaxy S7 Edge was more than my iPhone 6, both bought brand new off contract.

>>739191208
That's exactly what I meant.
We need this typical apple ad feeling. It needs to sound like apple was the first with this idea and you only deserve to live, if you buy apple shit.
If you know what I mean.

Drill a hole through the front camera and you can use normal headphones with 3.5mm connections. It really works!

Who's got a discord for this

anything like...charge iphone while driving...
apple in motion...place it in...on?

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>>739189689
I like it here's a shit mock up

>>739191562
daBb2M

put food leftovers in the charging hole to let electricity generating bacteria charge your phone

>>739191531
We already got this.

4 digit code?

>>739191639
>Gri11 to perfection
Too cheesy

Also yeah it is a shit mock up

We need to remember these three things.
First, it needs to be kind of original.
Second, it needs to be easy for every apple user.
Third, it needs to deal LOTS of damage.

working on a deesign, i take long cause im stupid hold on

>>739187951
There are already waterproof phones on the market

daBb2M this is the discord server for those who are srs pls

GUYS I GOT IT, THIS IS BETTER THAN EVERYTHING ELSE, HOLD A MAGNIFYING GLASS UP TO THE SCREEN TO CHARGE, SO MUCH DAMAGE

Best one I can think of would be to tell people that they can make scratches on their phone with a knife and that 24 hours later they will disappear

>>739191899
See
>>739189689
> with the new update you are now able to redirect heat through our newly programmed thermo electric liquifying converts, which direct heat flow through your phone safely and to the heat sensitive dynamic tiles on the back to create a beautiful rainbow effect. Simply place your iphone 7 on a grill or hot plate and celebrate the rainbow

>>739191485
Put something about placing the phone in aluminum foil?

>>739192194
would have to be in support of something. gay pride? kek

>>739187654

Even the stupidest of the stupid would say, "durr u could just turn it off since u won't be able to use it before it thaws Har har har

honestly if we can get some big instagram lgbt pride page to post an ad for this the chances of success just go up

>induction cooking??????

>>739192194
>>739191639
I like the idea; it may be late, but can it relate to pride in order to attract more attention while seeming to be a legit thing?

Apple now guarantees drop resistance of at least 15 feet! #freethephone

>>739192611
I like it

>>739192202
True

>>739188734
apple users are stupid but no that stupid

>>739191111
quads noted

>>739192852
they put their phones in microwaves for christs sake, they are that stupid.

agreed, its not as accessible as putting your phone on a skillet, people are lazy thats how we got them to microwave their phones to charge them

How about this; the rainbow isn't available automatically because "Apple" supports all beliefs, even those who disagree with gay marrige. So, once all the fags burn up their phones and the damage has been done, we "accidentally" leak a document about how Steve Jobs was a Neo-Nazi and they were continuing his legacy. Thoughts?

>>739193042
fucking gold

>>739193042
yeah, i support this.
jump onto the discord server (daBb2M) and share your idea there

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Someone needs to do the text...

we're all in the discord daBb2M

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changing colour on an open flame is a great idea. Say it goes rainbow and Apple is showing support for gay pride.

Sky has been doing these "im with them" adverts recently, so it wouldnt be too surprising.

This is the one guys. Not to crazy, relevant to recent events, causes long term issues to phones.

>>739193042
I don't have Discord, so can one of you share it over there? Thanks.

>>739193417
you can do it in browser
discordapp.com

>>739185910
It comes with a free 18" dragon dildo so apple people can go fuck themselves

>>739185910
How about a software that calculates where cracks in your screen are and makes them invisible? We could explain it not working on older phones because the software only detects cracks after being installed.

>>739193523
how the hell would that work

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>>739192611
>>739192817
>>739192391
>>739193042
>>739193223
>>739193347
Pivoting

iOS 11 adds shock protection?
It can now withstand falls of up to 1m

Magnetic charging? Leave a strong magnet connected to the case and the phone trickle charges?

Kinetic charging? New technology using the GPS chip allows the phone to build up charge through motion, try it out by shaking vigorously
Could see a few muppets accidentally throw it

>>739193223
Looks a bit too much like a skin or sticker
I think the petrol stain design in
>>739193654
Looks more covincing , but great work otherwise

For the car emissions idea, we can say pull down on the notifications tab and put it in the exhaust, it can sense when there's a decrease in oxygen and then it'll show the emissions automatically in the notifications tab.

iOS 11 is able to withstand being frozen and dropped on a hard surface

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>>739185910
WTF?
Why watches at 0 $?

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crafted from the ground up

>>739194257
daBb2M
daBb2M
daBb2M
daBb2M

Thanks :))))))

>>739190000
The quads know

Shatter poof screens and fall residents

>>739193042
This

>>739193296
Stop samefagging

>>739185910
They removed the 3.5mm audio jack in the latest iphone, perhaps they can remove the feature "WiFi" in the next software update

>>739195349
They should remove all buttons

>>739193042
Someone find that anon that made the videos for the previous apple/ios pranks. Maybe he can make one for this shit aswell.

bumping to make sure thi bread aint dead