[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

Worst School Stories

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 260
Thread images: 82

File: Loaf Bloke.jpg (9KB, 480x360px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Loaf Bloke.jpg
9KB, 480x360px
Worst School Stories
>>
>>739162579
I sneezed during state testing (where the whole school sits in a silent gym taking tests all day) and shit my pants.

I had to waddle as fast as I could like a retard to the nearest restroom trying not to let liquid shit drip from my shorts
>>
A nigger came to my school, started stealing stuff. We kicked his ass.
>>
>>739162990
Fuck thats bad, i genuinly feel for you
>>
>>739162990
How old were you?
Sounds fucking funny dude.
>>
File: image.jpg (40KB, 480x360px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
40KB, 480x360px
>>739162579
>>
>>739163320
I was 15, a freshman
>>
Got bullied to tears by some girls when I was 7 or 8. They were a couple grades above me, and I was an unstable little shit.
I cringe when I think back on it.
>>
>Be ADHD idiot kid who thinks he's funny
>Disrupt class with some bullshit
>Teacher calls me out, comes to my table and loudly bitches me out
>Crack a joke as a comeback
>Look around for laughs
>Everyone is stone faced silent
>Teacher puts her hand down "No one is laughing Anon"
>Spend rest of day looking down at table
>>
>>739163521
Haha, thanks for the laughs.
>>
>>739163446
I asked for WORST, not BEST
>>
File: feels_bad_man.png (139KB, 917x871px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
feels_bad_man.png
139KB, 917x871px
I pretty much rejected the hottest girl in my grade (7th grade). We sat next to each other in Science and English and we would always talk and flirt. Valentines day came around and me and her were working on an experiment, I casually ask who her valentines is and she said
>you.
At this point I panicked because I didn't know what the fuck to do so I replied with
>Oh. His name starts with a U?
She said again,
>No, you.
I hadn't had a GF in my past years and I honestly did not know what the fuck happened to me then and there, but again I replied
>oh his name has a U in it?
She then replied
>Forget it
and went back to working. She didn't say another thing for the rest of the period. For the remainder of the year, we still talked and whatnot but I still want to kill myself knowing I had a shot at the fucking crown jewel of the 7th Grade. In high school she became a 10/10 and every guy I knew wanted her. We haven't talked since middle school. Do time machines exist, /b/ros?
>>
>>739164165
RIP my nigga
>>
>>739164165
That must have caused some sleepless nights.
We've all been there bro, don't beat yourself up.
>>
>>739164558
Just ur meat
>>
>>739164558
Just ur meat
>>
>b a dumb faggot in high school
>homecoming around the corner
> girls go apeshit over these ribbon things you can buy for like 5-20 bucks
>basically decorated ribbons with little plastic footballs/cheerleading shit all over it
>the more you spend, the longer and more decorated the ribbon is
>I go home and one of my relatives gives me a $5 ribbon to take to school
>get really excited
>get on the bus with ribbon
>"oooh anon, which girl are you giving the ribbon to?" Asked various girls throughout the day
>tons of girls wearing ribbons
>I finally get to the class with the chola girl and hand her the ribbon
>"anon, is this the ribbon you picked out? Why didn't you get the bigger one?"
>defeated, I reply with "its the only one I have"
>chola girl says nothing and looks annoyed
>I feel like shit for the rest of the day
>>
>>739164702
Fuck that bitch, anon. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
>>
>>739164898
Lol I sure did, she was pregnant almost immediately and had to drop out
>>
Some cunt was throwing a paper plane in class. We were about 8 or 9.
Plane ends up below my desk. I step on it and push it away towards that mate cause i dont want to touch it.
OI YOU PLAYIN AROUND WITH A PLANE IN CLASS ?
Teacher makes me write "i will not throw paper planes in class" 100 fucking times. Even tho that didn happen. I was livid
>>
>>739162579
>Lives in Saudi Arabia
>Could it be worse?
>>
>>739163707
What was the joke ?
>>
File: IMG_3250.jpg (30KB, 269x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_3250.jpg
30KB, 269x480px
>>739162579
There's this fucking kid who I grew up with, he's Half Japanese and Half Filipino. His name is like Bryan Hayashi or some shit. One day when he became a freshman in high school he totally changed his identity, he started talking in this flamboyantly gay voice, would always wear blue, became obsessed with KPOP, and "changed" his name to "Gwang Seo"...oh and if you called em by his birth name, he would completely ignore you even if you were teachers/parents/etc. What's really weird is that he always talked about how he's gonna kill himself, and shit, but he never does so it's just annoying now. Then when he graduates high school, he for some reason can't accept the fact that he's an adult now, so now he starts hanging out with kids. Like 6-12year old kids, he's always super creepy about it, and everyone thinks he's a pedophile or gay, he insists he's not and he insists he just wants a Korean girlfriend. Fast forward to today, this nigga is still acting the same way he did when he was 14, only this time he will randomly run on an empty stage (at local malls) and blast music to dance to, he makes his own horrible music, still wears all blue, and since a friend and I trolled him at the gym one time, he's thinking about entering an upcoming bodybuilding contest. He's like 24 now


I could get into more school specific stories if OP wants, he's done a lot of stupid shit. Doesn't necessarily involve me tho, he just made high school really annoying for me since I had almost every class with him. Pic related
>>
>>739165196
Do tell more stupid shit he's done!
>>
>>739162579
Not exactly, worst. More funny.

> Be me, 10 / 11 / 12 years old
> Lunch break time
> Pick up animal shit on sticks that's on the field
> Fire animal shit as high as possible on crowded field
> Animal shit landed on some kids shoulder
> Wentbetterthanexpected.tif
>>
File: 1482083844925.jpg (860KB, 2272x1704px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1482083844925.jpg
860KB, 2272x1704px
>be me in middle school
>jacking off in the music room during lunch
>get super puberty horny
>do a handstand against the wall
>jacking off towards my own face
>feels good man
>here it comes
>hear voices
>cum all over my face and chest
>group of five girls turn on the light and walk in
>knock over a tuba trying to get out of self-bukkake position
>make eye contact with them and we all freeze
>my pants are aeound my ankles
>I am literally covered in jizz
>mfw they scream and run and tell a teacher what they saw
>mfw I had to change schools
>>
File: donuts.jpg (7KB, 275x183px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
donuts.jpg
7KB, 275x183px
>be 4th grade
>rides bus shuttle to school
>has this mentally challenged kid in the bus
>chubby kid
>he's quite nice tho
>very enthusiastic
>most kids are nice to him
>there's one kid tho
>douche apparently knows how to trigger special kid
>sings the Dunkin Donuts jingle
>special kids starts panicking and yelling
>throws a fit, flailing his arms around
>apparently afraid of the song for some reason
>well what do you expect, special kids
>other kids notice
>sings along
>me included
>this went on every time special kid is on the bus
>we sing the jingle for fun
>panics every time
>kek.gif
>never saw him after 5th grade

>fast forward years later
>me in final year of high school
>about to go home
>sees special kid
>holycow.png
>he's sitting alone
>probably dozing off
>wonders if trigger song still works
>i clear my throat
>".....Dunkin Donuts..."
>special kid sits up
>eyes wide open
>look of panic on his face
>starts looking for the source of song
>apparently didnt notice me
>I sing louder
> "DUUUUUNKIN DONUUUUUTTTSSS"
>special kid runs away in panic
>yelling gibberish
>laughs hard but got to keep quiet
>>
>>739165166
I have no idea. I was like 9 or 10.
But knowing myself it was probably drivel like "why can't i make noise, nobody is listening anyway huehuehue".
>>
File: 1496877729539.jpg (101KB, 682x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1496877729539.jpg
101KB, 682x600px
>>739165360
What the actual fuck anon, thank you for the keks.
>>
>>739165360
holy fuk lol not real ?
>>
File: 1497774014625.webm (772KB, 460x280px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1497774014625.webm
772KB, 460x280px
>>739164666
>>739164699
Satan and dubs checked
>>
>>739165360
Wtf man, fap in a closed place at least
>>
>>739165434
That sounds kind of funny, but look on the bright side; you realized when to stop fucking around, making it so stuff like that wouldn't happen again.
>>
File: IMG_3451.png (776KB, 1334x750px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_3451.png
776KB, 1334x750px
>>739165318
Okay, here's something I experienced sophomore year.

>Be me
>Sophomore Year HS
>Sitting at beach with class for field trip
>We have some free time
>"Korean" tourists walk by in a group
>Gwang shouts "OH MY GOD! Koreans!!!"
>Grabs his phone and runs over
>Starts playing KPOP on his phone
>Aggressively starts dancing to KPOP for the tourists
>Tourists are standing there awkwardly watching
>Music abruptly stops playing due to shitty connection
>He proceeds to continue dancing while also humming/singing the rest of the song.
>Song and Dance is over
>He bows and runs over and hugs the hottest girl of the group
>He runs away back to our field trip class
>Korean tourists leave.
>I hear them talking to one another
>They're Japanese


Pic related, he got made fun of a lot for the incident (mainly by me) He made a rap dedicated to his "haters", which are mainly me lol.

https://youtu.be/fuyF2YjSh2E His song if you don't believe me
>>
>>739164702
Sorry o hear that, she sounds like a cunt.
>>
>>739165624
Dude it was the door was shut and the lights were out
>>
>>739164165
Hit her up. Shit happened, who knows.
>>
I got caught making a dick out of clay in art class.
They sent me to the principles office who then called my dad.
Then the school counselor tried convincing me I was gay.

Man I was fucking 8 and dicks are funny. Fuck
>>
File: 1493927257857.jpg (32KB, 300x353px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1493927257857.jpg
32KB, 300x353px
>>739164165
kek, that sounds pretty funny anon. Sorry that happened to you
>>
>>739165360
What is the enjoyable part about cuming on your own face and do you still do it or did this experience stop you from doing it anymore?
>>
File: 5bf.jpg (16KB, 480x318px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
5bf.jpg
16KB, 480x318px
>>739165693
That song
>>
>>739165714
Shut does not mean lock
>>
>>739164165
you are a fucking nigger for saying that tbh
>>
>>739165840
No I don't know what the fuck that was all about it was just a phase I went through in middle school. I did it a few more times, not at school though. You regret it as soon as your done and its a bitch to get out of your hair
>>
>>739165693
HAHAHA dumbass cant tell koreans and japanese apart.

btw, Filip-anon here.
I know 2 or 3 schoolmates like that, k-pop, gayish and childish. Why do they end up like that? and yep, definitely half filipino. if he's into that type of lame ass beats and makes a song with it.
>>
>>739165961
xfh
>>
>>739165844
Dude, he fucking showed up to a college event he wasn't even allowed to perform at, and pretty much begged the people there to let him sing. He did, then he recorded it and thinks it's his first "gig"
>>
>>739165793
Dicks are funny at every age, who never drawed a dick
>>
>>739165127
>live in egypt
>not that bad
>>
File: Yow.jpg (3KB, 299x168px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Yow.jpg
3KB, 299x168px
>Be me
>On the bus from school
>Kid insults and is just being an asshole towards me
>stab him with my mechanical pencil
>make him bleed
>Oh shit
>Get suspended from bus for 2 weeks
>Dad's furious
>pic unrelated
>>
File: 1500199684563.jpg (154KB, 500x690px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1500199684563.jpg
154KB, 500x690px
>>739166043
???
>>
>>739166015
Idk dude haha, he doesn't even have a mental disorder or anything. I'm Polish and German mix, but even I knew they were Japanese kek
>>
>>739166057
Jesus christ
>>
> went to catholic school as a child
> phantom menace used to come out
> had big assembly for morning prayers etc
> I was off in imagination land being darth maul / power rangers
> doing all sorts of hand movements like slashing and spinning my lightsabre
> got in trouble afterwards

> mfw I was in the front row (big circle) - every fucking kid could see what I was doing
>>
One time I talked about crush porn in class and someone told the teacher, I tried to explain it wasn't really porn but it didn't work and she called my mom
>>
File: gremlin.png (381KB, 1148x1112px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
gremlin.png
381KB, 1148x1112px
From some anon months ago
>>
>Year 9
>Everybody drawing dicks
>Decide to draw a dick
>But I'm an insane artfag
>Do a very realistic portrait drawing of my own tiny flacid cock
>Bring it to school cause I thought it was funny
>Everyone knows I drew a picture of my own dick and was basically showing them my dick
>Art confiscates it at some point
>looks at it in front of me
>Takes a big, relaxed breath
>Shudders subtly for a second
>I dont get in trouble and I later saw him laminating it with some other art
>>
File: 1454917820499.png (31KB, 123x145px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1454917820499.png
31KB, 123x145px
>Be me
>Freshman Year, about 14-15ish
>In study hall with friend
>Me and him always talk about girls and shit
>One in particular who has massive tits and huge ass
>He tells me to pull out a sheet of paper
>Me and him start drawing said girl
>We go overboard and exaggerate her proportions
>Me and him laughing out asses off
>Student teacher hears us (she's a solid 9/10 btw)
>She's walking to our table
>Tell my friend to fucking hide that paper
>He crumples it up and stuffs it in his hoodie
>I go back to working on my homework and act like nothing happened
>She knows we're hiding the paper so she demands to see it
>"Either you give me the paper, or I'll give you a referral"
>She's only talking to my friend though
>He pulls out the paper and hands it to her
>She opens it
>"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"
>His face turns bright red and the entire class is paying full attention to our table
>I'm still "working" on homework
>She tells him to throw it away and forget about it, she's laughing a bit while saying this.

Feels fucking great man. For the rest of the hour, she walked past our table pulling up her tight black jeans constantly right in front of us. We had a hearty kek after class.

>tfw I didn't get in trouble
>tfw he tried getting some heat on me too
>tfw she didn't believe him and told him I was a nice kid
>>
Listen up faggots.

>be me, circa 92
>edgy highschool faggot
>smoking in the 3rd floor bathroom with my associates
>in walks pog boy
Last time I told this story, people didn't know what the fuck a pog was. Let me tell you: no one did. They were decorated milk caps basically
>pog boy is a tard. Always carried around 1 of several different binders filled with them
>I have an idea
>"hey, friend, did you know this is a magic bathroom?"
>pog boy was hooked
>"Weelee?"
>"yes really. If you dump your pogs in that toilet and flush them, the pog fairy will grant you a wish"
>he immediately bolts and starts to flush pogs.
>instantregret.jpg
>the toilet is over flowing from pogs
>he shows his arm in up to his fucking elbow to try and retrieve them
>he begins screeching as me and the boys leave, the bathroom flooding quite bad

The fire department had to come in and smash the toilet to get him out.

More stories?
>>
File: IMG_5292.jpg (247KB, 1242x2208px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_5292.jpg
247KB, 1242x2208px
8th grade
>>
File: IMG_5293.jpg (550KB, 1242x2208px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_5293.jpg
550KB, 1242x2208px
>>739166514
Graduated (she just turned 19 today) we were really good friends I just never made a move I was too beta
>>
>kindergarten
>about to go home waiting for bus
>had to take a bad shit
>tell teacher i need to take a shit
>"alright hurry up"
>accidentally sharted myself while heading to bathroom
>shit all over my underwear
>quickly get out and wait for bus that isn't there
>decide to go back to bathroom
>teacher comes in and tells me to get out
>trying to get my shit off my underwear
>i said no and to wait
>she tries to come into my stall but it is locked
>she puts her hand over the stall and unlocks the stall
>she grabs me from the toilet while pants and underwear down and sees my tiny dick and shit smeared pants and underwear
>disgust
>feel awkward throughout the whole day because she saw my gentials
>end
>>
>>739165693
YOU'RE A FRIEND TO ME!
>>
Two stories from my old economics teacher who lived his early life in Zimbabwe.
>In highschool
>one guy completely fucked mentally after years as a child soldier, PTSD freakouts common
>another guy, typical school bully/asshole for no real reason
>Teacher ever told us their names so I'll call them soldier boy and chad
>chad for whatever reason decides it would be fun to fuck around with soldier boy, so he goes up to the guy and starts giving him verbal insults in the hallway
>soldier boy takes it without any difficulty
>chad realises this so he takes a swing at soldier boy, who barely flinches
>chad worried, his tactics are running low, so he tries to start up some long winded insult
>mentions a place soldier boy likely fought in
>soldier boy screams, holding his head
>looks at chad with death in his eyes
>grabs chad and throws him out the window
the third story window
>teacher didn't say, but chad likely died while soldier boy went into hiding
>>
Fixed it for you

>>739166640
>>end of college orientation
>>about to go home waiting for bus
>>had to take a bad shit
>>tell teacher i need to take a shit
>>"alright hurry up"
>>accidentally sharted myself while heading to bathroom
>>shit all over my underwear
>>quickly get out and wait for bus that isn't there
>>decide to go back to bathroom
>>teacher comes in and tells me to get out
>>trying to get my shit off my underwear
>>i said no and to wait
>>she tries to come into my stall but it is locked
>>she puts her hand over the stall and unlocks the stall
>>she grabs me from the toilet while pants and underwear down and sees my tiny dick and shit smeared pants and underwear
>>disgust
>>feel awkward throughout the whole day because she saw my gentials
>>end
>>
File: 1454141789950.jpg (18KB, 540x315px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1454141789950.jpg
18KB, 540x315px
>>739166640
Top fucking kek, anon.
>>
>>739165360
lel
>>
>>739166910
second story
>teacher tells us not long after, soldier boy got arrested after a series of gunshots were heard in a motel room
>soldier boy in motel room drinking surrounded by 5 other guys and a revolver with 5 shells
>apparently he and his 5 other child soldier 'friends' went into motel room together with booze and the gun
>played russian roulette and put a new bullet in the gun when one of them died
>soldier boy apparently was last survivor and police got him before he could end it

(Yes, Zimbabwe has a police force)
>>
>b dumber faggotier anon
>probably like 7 or 8
>have crush on really pretty girl
>were friends
>cant stop thinking about her
>I'm a class clown and have tons of friends
>enjoyitwhileitlastsyoudumbfuck.jpeg
>our class is supposed to watch some kid movie
>class I'd sitting on the floor in front of that tv on a cart
>crush sits right next to me
>she whispers "kiss me, anon"
>my brain told my mouth to go fuck itself
>I say "girl, you trippin!" cuz for some reason, the boys in my class talked like that and I'm an enormous asshole
>I don't look at her reaction
>she says nothing the rest of the day
>my brain doesnt let me analyze that situation for a few years
>I broke her heart and it fucking kills me
>I blew it for the both of us
>she continued to be super nice to me in highschool and beyond
>she's dating someone now and im happy for her, but that moment from when we were kids fucked me up.
>>
>>739167149
Damn.
>>
Fuck it I'll tell another anyways, fuck you

>edgy highschool faggot level 3 now
>smoking in the art class cause out bathroom is now used cause they redid it after pog boy
That really fucking backfired on us
>enjoying the flavor country when pog boy enters.
>seems pog boy sits in here during lunch cause the tard art class starts after and he "doont want bee late"
>notice pog boy is sans pog
>also notice a street sharks t shirt
>light bulbs.png
>"hey buddy, want some good news?"
>he starts laughing and clapping
>pog fairy looked me up, told me that you made her very very happy and she's gunna do something for you
>he's awestruck
>"she told me you get to become a street shark"
>he nearly pisses in excitement
>take a small aside with my associates and tell them to find some girls track and field shorts
>they run off and I tell pog boy he must spread on the "magic potion"
>it's red dye
>he's slapping it on like it was cum and he was a drunken co-ed
>they come back with a pair of tiny ass shorts with a period stain in them
>the madmen
>pog boy slips them on, the red menace awakens
>so uh... what's your street shark name?
>stehv
>stehv?
>just stehv.
>he bolts off, and we stand there a moment before running after him
>he bursts into a full cafeteria
>the air is dead. You can hear the sweat dropping off stehvs fat rolls
>he scans the silent room.
>he's found his target
>old as shit black janitor, pushing a can
>stehv runs and leaps
>he looks like the horrifically beautiful bastard of man and gazelle
>drop kicks him in the lower back
>they both go down and start screaming.
>I shed a single proud tear

That's not even the end of stevh
>>
File: 1474435476267.jpg (110KB, 906x813px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1474435476267.jpg
110KB, 906x813px
>Be me
>8th Grade
>New school, so decided I need to make friends.
>Find an alright group I can hang with
>Most of the guys were chill, except for one.
>NoahMcShitBreath
>He earned the nick because his breath smelled like actual shit
>He would turn to me and start up a convo
>I'd hold my breath till he was done

>One day, mid year ShitBreath calls us over to his locker
>He goes: Check it out
>This nigga pulls out a fucking hand gun
>There's now a fucking crowd around his locker
>Everyone's amazed
>I'm fucking shitting my pants cus' I don't know if this fucker is a school shooter or not
>Bell rings and we all head to class
>8th period rolls around and suddenly the intercom comes on
>"Hi, we would like to talk to anon. Can you send him down to the cafeteria"
>Fuck
>Head to cafeteria and see all my friends + the school's police officer
>Starts questioning us
>Blah blah blah, you know you should've told us right away blah blah
>We're all dismissed
>Later on heard from my friends that ShitBreath tried to flush the gun down the toilet and was having a panic attack because he knew the staff caught wind of his gun
>We all laugh our asses off

Few weeks pass and we hear what's become of him. He had to attend secondary school and the police had to keep a super close eye on him. One of my friends texted him on FB and ShitBreath said he was going to beat all of our asses for snitching. We all shared a kek and we never heard from Noah McShitBreath ever again.
>>
>>739166581
can't tell if she was going either break or eat your heart
>>
>>739167818
Did you get in trouble?
>>
>>739167932
Nah, we got off scot-free. The whole School District was notified and they all had to give all the classes a quick rundown of what happened.
>>
>>739167896
This

His brain stop him from fucking a fat bitch
>>
>>739165360
fucking kek
>>
File: oooooo.webm (251KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
oooooo.webm
251KB, 1920x1080px
>>739166581
tough luck my friend. she looks like she would settle for a /b/ro too.
>>
>>739166581
Damn. Well maybe she has a nice personality, who knows?
>>
>>739166297
this is gold
thx anon
>>
File: pepee.png (152KB, 600x503px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
pepee.png
152KB, 600x503px
>Be me
>17 in high school
>Notthesharpesttoolintheshed.jpg
>Get told by other class that my English teacher is preggo
>Go to english
>Tell her congrats on preggo
>Looks me dead in the eye
>"I'm not preggo"
>"Oh sorry."
>"you're never gonna get a woman in your life if you just call women fat Anon."
>Woman is close to tears
>After lesson get called retarded by classmates
>Didn't go to class after 3 months
>Studied elsewhere
>Exam day
>This bitch
>Waddles down the fucking stairs
>Baby belly
>Areyouserious.png
>"I would like to say whomever gets the highest mark I'll name the baby after"

MFW
>>
>>739165383
that's just fucking autistic, anon
>>
File: download (13).jpg (9KB, 271x186px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
download (13).jpg
9KB, 271x186px
>be me, last year of middle school
>tried to make some sort of improvised masturbation device
>it's a ziplock bag stuffed in a roll of toilet paper with the cardboard roll ripped out and a shitload of tape
>my imd is a monstrosity but it clearly looks like something a horny teenager fucks
>fast forward a few days
>in the cafeteria at lunch
>retarded asshole lets call him Chad is giving a bunch of people shit
>he's bitching because no one will bum him a piece of gum
>he grabs my backpack and opens it
>immediately panic, remember my IMD is in there
>small struggle ensues
>he takes my bag
>rifles through it and then stops
>"what the fuck is this?"
>everyone at the table watches him pull my frankenfleshlight out
>realizing what it is he drops it and freaks out
>table is roaring laughing
> dipshit sperg kid picks up my used imd and starts fingering it
>everyone is disgusted
>i guess some jizz was still in there
>when he feels it he chucks the imd
>it landed at a table full of girls
>panic and chaos ensues, vice principle takes notice
>sperg throws a tantrum because he got jizz on him, says its mine
>i denied it, didn't get in trouble but everybody knew it was mine
>>
>>739169800
Why would it be in your backpack, and not at home?
>>
File: 1499504349286.jpg (60KB, 411x598px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1499504349286.jpg
60KB, 411x598px
>>739170088
So i could fap in the bathroom
>>
>>739170242
Did you make another one?
>>
>Be me, quietly taking NCAE
>Faggot behind me and his friends around my seat decides to not take the exam seriously
>Idiot starts to act retarded and make unfunny jokes towards autistic friends
>I looked at the teacher who was assigned to look over us, she was minding her own business, playing with her phone and not trying to even make the students shut their fucking mouths.
>I looked at him signalling to kind of tone it down because it was hard to concentrate
>Can't talk to him cause he's a stranger (atleast to me) and he's kind of popular at school because he's a bully.
>Still continues what he's doing, so I glared at him
>Still doesnt get it
>I looked at him again
>"Why do you keep looking at me? Why does she keep looking at me?" He said to his friend beside him.
>I just shook my head and continued answering the exam
>16162829100 million years later I finished
>Got bored so I plugged in my earphones and started listening to music.
>Few minutes later, faggots around me started laughing.
>I asked everyone, "What is it?"
>Dead silence
>I asked everyone again, "What is it?"
>Everyone laughed and one faggot copied what I said
>"Your music was so loud I can hear it from over here." My friend said.
>I was so embarrased I was blushing hard.
>"What is it?" Parakeet student said.
>Everyone laughed so I laughed with them, to shake of the awkwardness.
>"All you can do is laugh cause you have nothing to say. That's what you get for not minding your own business." (I forgot what he said, it's hard to translate what he said but I remember it like this, "Yan, tawa lang ang magawa. Walang masabi ay. Buti nga tingin kasi ng tingin.")
>I didn't say anything because I don't want to start a fight with an idiot who's trying to be alpha.
>Basic bitch beside me just laughed.
It's just embarrasing. Please excuse my wrong grammar. This happened a year ago. Lol bye.
>>
>>739170329
Many
>>
>>739169800
Was it good?
>>
>>739170396
nothing embarrassing about that
unless you were listening to budots or something
>>
>>739170493
It wasn't bad, wouldn't do it again
>>
>>739165196
Oh. I would like to read some more about this
>>
>>739170396
Tits porfavor.
>>
File: 1080.jpg (54KB, 579x463px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1080.jpg
54KB, 579x463px
>Be in middle school
>North East of UK
>Age 11
>Get bullied constantly for being german born
>Three guys always do it
>Lets call them Fuckface, Hobocum and Dickwad
>Feel so lonely when I go home I just play Halo 3 to feel something
>At school
>get approached by Fuckwads friends
>"Anon is it true you attacked Dickwads brother with a crowbar?"
>"What no?" (I rarely leave the house because loneliness)
>They leave
>Tell Dickwad I admitted it
>Lunch
>Go to playground
>See like 15 kids running towards me
>Fuck
>They all grab me while Dickwad, Fuckface and Hobocum all take turns hitting me in the face/balls you name it
>Eventually crying
>Dickwad drags me to metal railing
>Smashed my head off it
>Pisses on me
>Pass out
>Wake up 3 days later in hospital
>Get asked what happened
>Say nothing
>Go back to school 2 weeks later
>Dickwad found out who actually did it
>9 years later
>No apology still
>TFW still traumatized to this day
>>
File: parrot.jpg (7KB, 244x206px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
parrot.jpg
7KB, 244x206px
>be about 9
>playing tag in school yard with around 20 other kids
>girl i had a crush on pulls my pants and undies down
>everyone laughs
>my face goes bright red as i am engulfed in shame
>run and hide in a dark corner other students always used for pissing
>cry
>>
File: 1499266405658.png (44KB, 782x1021px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1499266405658.png
44KB, 782x1021px
>>739165360
>>
>>739170937
You think you're better than me fuckface? Listen up you pussy. Sorry to interupt your thrilling tuesday night watching urethra-bondage hentai on your wii U's. You know what? You can all line up and lick my bag. Beleive me kiddo, I could open your penis like a can of tuna fish faster than you can say "i need more adderall". I am a living god, you piece of shit. Fuck you.
>>
>>739171215
Lucky Bastard
>>
>>739164165
I've done very similar shit. I have no idea if a girl is interested. My life is a series of missed opportunities.
>>
>me be around 2nd year high school
>having lunch at the canteen
>after lunch is 2 hours of math
>preparing myself for whats to come by taking it easy
>expecting it'd be boring as hell
>i see a random moth on the ground
>not a pretty looking one
>brown and furry
>probably 3 inches long
>idea pops up
>I bring it up to the classroom
>hide it near the drapes by the window
45 minutes in...
>getting board already
>i take out my new friend
>release it into the classroom
>chaos erupts
>teacher freaks out
>girls scream, guys just look surprised
>class got halted for 20 minutes to calm everyone down

worth it.
>>
File: 762.jpg (11KB, 206x213px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
762.jpg
11KB, 206x213px
>>739165360
how are u doing a handstand and jacking off at the same time?
>>
>>739171875
not him but handstand against the wall dummy
>>
>>739171875
You rest on the back of your neck and bring your knees down so your dick is right in front of your face
>>
>>739165693
Oh my god it's even worse performed live

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwA610MMGAE
>>
I don't really have a story but I do have experiences
>i was the only person not to beat up retardo. Found his kill list, no one except me was written on it. I beat him the fuck up the next day. Turns out he's a sadist/masochist and gets aroused by violence
>Trap starts attending school. Was actually a good buddy of mine from way back so we hit off instantly. Tells me to keep his dick a secret. Sure bro, as long as you date Chad. They go out for months. Trap tells me Chad actually like fucking traps more then women. Kek
>Spanish kids attend to do interdisciplinary school shit. Within 4 days, they're selling 'bullets' (bullet casings with marijuana in it), paying bullies to beat up other bullies like pokemon and everyone was fairly sure they killed a hobo.
>playing on my gameboy at camp. 10/10 crush starts playfully imitating me. Trap tells me to look at her. My autism abilities kick in "i'm busy, fuck off". Yeah, she never tried to communicate with me again
>teacher goes on exchange to south Africa. Gets shot within an hour of entering the country. We had to have a memorial for him, rip Mr Ledton, you were cool
>friend (not Chad or trap) has massive fascination towards dicks. Straighter than a fucking pole, but for some reason just likes dicks. For this reason, he was single iswell. After Gym on a hot day, I catch him sucking his own dick in the locker rooms. Impressive but also disgusting. We actually became really good friends
>school buildings are cheaply made and uses some strange rubber to hold bricks together. One part, in a secluded area of school, is huge and squishier compared to all the others. Not sure who or why but someone cut a slit into it and fucked it. Rumours spread quickly of the "fuck hole". Not even Trap, Chad or Self-Fellatio knew who it was. Once every week for 5 months, a new slit appears and there's cum inside. Building starts getting bad mold issues for obvious reasons and has to get torn down. Someone's dick destroyed a building
>>
>>739162579
>Be me, 16 year old in highschool.
>Be golden boy of the short bus.
>Stare at girl in health class every so often because actual diagnosed sperg.
>Towards the end of second term or some shit, her firend asks me at the end of class if I was staring at her earlier.
>One day out of the year I was actually just staring at the clock because I was bored out of my mind.
>Sperg mode activate.
>Tell her that clock bullshit word for word somewhat annoyed in my head but outwardly polite.
>She looks at me not annoyed, but disappointed in me for letting tysm hold me back.
>Realize years later in college I failed to express my feelings towards one of the two girls in highschool I was ever attracted to when given the perfect chance.
Its really retarded too because she was half German and actually spent like 3 years there and I have a thing for German girls because Im a kraut mutt but my sister got way more of the Danish genes.
>>
>>739172091
I can't breathe
>have any of you ever experienced betrayal?
>>
>>739172049
that's not a fucking handstand
>>
File: hiyaheya.jpg (4KB, 147x147px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
hiyaheya.jpg
4KB, 147x147px
>be me
>2nd grade
>obsessed with turtles
>i even have a stuffed animal turtle i bring everywhere
>at playground with only other friend
>he ditches me because he doesn't feel like being a turtle today
>i squat in a small hole, walking around in a squatting position because i was a turtle
>make strange noises
>hobble over to some bushes and eat flowers
>skip to highschool
>people call me turtle boy
>mfw
>>
File: wet.png (185KB, 450x244px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
wet.png
185KB, 450x244px
>>739172091
My fucking god anon, this is gold
>>
>>739172200
>Tell her that clock bullshit word for word somewhat annoyed in my head but outwardly polite.
>>
>>739172360
Kek'd
>>
>>739165693
That song is achieving school shooter status.
>>
>>739172330
Can't stand cause he's beating his dick and pleasure getting to him
Need to use hand on wall to stay upright/standing
= handstand
>>
>>739166230
Spent most of my elementary years at a Catholic school too.

>be me
>2nd grade (maybe 3rd)
>K-4th sent to bleachers after lunch for after-meal prayer
>VP is pissed off at everyone talking and being obnoxious
>threatens to take away recess for the day if anyone says a single word for the next few minutes
>absolutesilence.jpg
>my throat wasn't feeling good so I let out a cough
>person behind me coughs after me then more people follow suit
>mfw my cough sets of a chain reaction of coughing
>VP sees what's happening and calls out everyone for faking coughs just to make noise
>stupid fucking kindergartener says something along the lines of 'don't blame us'
>VP throws a hissy fit and we all get no recess.
>>
>>739172633
wow. That was basic.
>>
>>739172418
Like I said, "sperg mode activate." It was bullshit but it's what I thought made sense at the time to say because it was true.
>>
>>739166448
How old was the pog boy? I would have to guess 4th-5th at most. No other way anyone could be that stupid
>>
>>739172627
I dont really know what to call it, its kind of like a tripod yoga pose but while beating off and trying not to fall over and also aiming at your mouth/face
>>
>>739172131
Underrated
>>
>Elementary school
>yearly winter fair rolls around
>there were games and activities or just chill in the park
>Line up to go down slide
>Chubby blonde tard girl holding up slide just standing there
>Decide in head "Just push her down or something"
>Grabbed under her arm by mistake
>She just stares at me while I'm gagging at the foul stench of her under arms
>It was like she hadn't showered in a month and worked up a sweat marinating in her own sauces the whole day
>Climb down slide ladder
>Wash hands and still try to forget experience to this day
>>
>>739172826
that shit looks painful
>>
>>739173031
After a while yea, hurts your neck
>>
>>739167149
If I hadn't watched Beasts of no Nation before this I wouldn't believe you. Poor guy.
>>
File: 1499258013012.jpg (58KB, 620x451px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1499258013012.jpg
58KB, 620x451px
>>739162579

The big bad Dean everyone was scared of.
>walking to class
>mums a lunch lady at my school.
>text me asking what I wanted for lunch
>responding back on the way to class
>Dean calls my name.
>tells me to hand him my phone.
>tell him I don't have to its my property and demanding I hand it over is theft.
>Dean is black and clearly about to chimp out.
>asks me for my phone again.
>big group of kids gathering. 100+
>everyone is outside the buildings doors.
>Dean goes to reach for my phone.
>step back
>turn my back and walk away from him
>he tells me if I don't give my phone I'll get OSS for two days
>Still facing away from him "I don't care whooa two legal days I can be at home!"
>he says some other shit as I'm walking away
>I turn around. Look him dead in the eyes. Do a slav squat. Grab my balls. And go
>Mr Dean suck my fucking balls
>mass of kids chimp out.
>I walk to class.
>sit down
>20 minutes go by.
>knock on door
>nig Dean at the door. Won't come in. Just tells teacher to send me to office.
>teacher tells another student to wake me up.
>I wasn't asleep yet.
>she asks me what I did now.
>another stupid bitch girl tells her my story.
>teacher clearly holding back laughs.
>I go down to office. Nig isn't even there.
>get 3 days OSS. (OUT OF SCHOOL SUSPENSION)
>tell the office people "thanks for the extended weekend"
>go back to class
>rest of my highschool year Dean never made eyecontact with me again.
>>
>>739164165
Fucking hell I can relate to your story so much,

>Early year 7, still getting used to highschool
>Chick in my classes developes serious crush on me
>Used to talk after school on msn (before fb got big)
>Dropping obvious as fuck hints in person and on msn e.g had my initials with a love heart in her mood/status message thing
>I knew it 100% but because 12 and shy as fuck didnt know wtf to do so I just acted like I couldnt tell
>Eventually she just stopped.

Another chick liked me around the same time as her and I remember one time she called me cute and I just acted deaf and had a pretty long awkward silence haha

I mean I was barely 13 and everything was new to me, had only been in high school for a couple of months, plus being shy (or autistic?) didnt help.

Guess I'll add another quickly
>Fast forward couple of years
>Some fat annoying bitch is trying to be funny in class and offering to suck my cock in the toilets infront of her friends
>She was talking shit a bit earlier and we were returning insults for a while so call her moldy cunt cheese with m8s some stupid shit
>Now that I think back, she was a notorious slut and the way she was offering was most likely legit and probably would have done it

Idrc about that pig though just funny to think back
>>
>>739173626
Bro that story so much feels.. Wish my dad wasn't a massive cuck and actually helped me with girls. Or I had an older bro. I was a spaz until highschool. Then highschool I was just smart about being a spaz.
>>
>>739164702
That young and already a gold digger, you were better off in the long run
>>
>>739172825
Retarded highschool
>>
File: 1479313427307.jpg (196KB, 816x448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1479313427307.jpg
196KB, 816x448px
>be me, in elementary school
>kissass teachers pet thinks shes gods gift, always snitches, everyone hates her
>on the playground at recess
>bullshitting with my m8s about holding her down and farting on her mouth
>there she is. Thisgonbegood.png
>run up and knock her down
>squat over her face and pin her
>struggling to rip a fart, shes fighting back and starts crying
>rip a fart and look up smiling
>realise my friends hadn't come with me, they are watching in horror from a distance
>realise I took it way too far
>it wasn't funny at all
>the girl was totally traumatized, had given up and was just crying
>people thought I was a psycho for years
>>
>>739162579
I have and absolutely horrible school story. Strap in.

>Go to school
>The end
>>
>>739174197
I think most ENTPs feel this way anon.
>>
>>739174129
Could be worse. My girlfriend in highschool got pants in gym by someone I was friends with from the neighborhood. Just one of those kids you played with when y'all where little. Anyway. She was upset and told her dad before me. And her dad (a jail bird mind you) shows up at my door. Asking where this little shit lives. I tell him and he drives over there with his shotgun. Kek.

So you could of gotten much worse...
>>
>Be me 8
>Kindergarden playground
>Had Lego Yoda as spirit Toy
>Everybody had to fucking bow down becose i was Grand master and shit
>One day some kid comes with Obi wan and claims to be Equal
>Fuckyou.gif
>Tells him he is a cunthag and i am a grand master
>He gets Angry
>He Grabs my Backpack, unzips and throws literarry everything to Trash with Banana Peels and wet stuff inside
>GetMAD.JPG
>Hits him in the Head
>Angery Kicks in, Reminds of Dawn of War Warcry of Chaos
>SCREAMS IN DoW CHAOS SPACE MARINE VOICE "DESTROY DEEEEESTROY!"
>Teacher looks at the whole situasion
>Teacher only sees my shouting
>Teahcer who is a 120kg 160cm Lady Starts Rushin at me and kicks me in the Stomach
>I Fell down defeated
>Gets Dragged out of class to principal, had some problems but it went cool
>few Months Later see same Classmate during playtime
>Push Him over Wall, The guy Breaks his Arm
>MFW i Didn't got in Trouble
>MFW He didn't come to school for around a year
>WFM THE MASTER GRAND I AM
>>
>>739162579
I got beat up once in middle school because i never learned how to fight and got lucky in previous fights in the school, everyone laughed at me but still was cool so who cares lol won a redeeming fight just before high school too.

It didn't hurt I just couldn't beat him up it was really embarrassing to me
>>
>>739174548
I mean even after the fight things just went back to normal and I was still cool, some kids get outcasted when they lose a fight.
>>
>>739174548
I use to get into fights a lot myself. Got my ass kicked every time almost. Only won like 3. Out of many. Got to a point nobody wanted to fight because they thought I was crazy.

Little did they know. My father was abusive as fuck and their wimpy kid punchs or kicks meant nothing to what I was used to.
>>
>>739162579
>be 6
>it's recess
>annoying bitch in class crushes up her cornflakes
>dumps it in my bag and hair
>being the huge pussy i was then, I told the teacher what happened
>teacher didn't give a fuck
>no_justice_in_this_world
>grab pencil and stab the girl in the shoulder
>the tip of the lead sunk in and broke off
>she screams
>i know i'm fucked now
>even at that age i was all too aware of how people took the female side in physical dispute
>get sent home early
>mother made me write an apology card and give it to her the next day.

>fast forward 9 years
>she tells me she likes me.
>edgy teenage me tells her to fuck off.
>>
>>739166581
slampiggy
>>
>>739174862
>>fast forward 9 years
>>she tells me she likes me.
>>edgy teenage me tells her to fuck off.

Looking back now... Did you dodge a bullet? Is she ugly now?
>>
File: download (45).jpg (10KB, 275x183px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
download (45).jpg
10KB, 275x183px
>be me
>at the playground
>crawling in the bushes with my friend playing lizards
>i was an iguana
>notice cute 4th grader is on the swings with her friends
>trying to get her attention so she'll come over and talk to me
>try waving and shit, she's not paying attention
>mfw lizards aren't allowed to stand up
>try throwing a pebble at her
>is this bitch fucking retarded?
>throw a bigger rock
>hit her right in the head
>bitch goes down for a dirt nap, teacher comes running over to her
>see's me and my lizard buddy and gets on the radio
>mfw me and my m8 are in our thirties
>mfw we had to run away on our hands and knees like lizards
>mfw we were too slow in lizard mode, spent four years in prison and am a sex offender/ iguana
>>
File: oh_shit.jpg (28KB, 300x300px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
oh_shit.jpg
28KB, 300x300px
Oh fuck no, I got a good one. Actually happened.

>Be me 12-14 years old (repressed memories, don't exactly know when this happened)
>In waiting room for school health checkup, whole class is there. We wait and sit in groups at tables.
>I brought my DSi and 3DS with me for entertainment.
>The kids at my table ask if they can see my ds systems. I let them play. I always only play with one.
>I'm playing together with dude at my table with 3ds, when I hear
>'Hey look, what is this?'
>ohgodwhy.jpg
>left DSi unnatended
>tablemates tried to take and edit pictures
>I had pictures on there of naked women, titties and vaginas
>I took them a few years ago when I was a spastic retard who saw a vagina for the first time and had no phone
>never deleted them
>...
>DSi gets passed around the table
>everyone sees
>sweating_nervously.mov
>I try to take it back by force
>my attempts fail
>they start telling each other and laughing about it
>I want to shrivel up into a ball and vanish into nothingness
>eventually got it back
>at that point over half the class saw the pictures
>they talk to me about it for the next week

Just a distant memory now, but this event messed with me for the following years.
>>
File: 1440278435426.jpg (8KB, 193x262px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1440278435426.jpg
8KB, 193x262px
>>739164165

kekked heartily
>>
File: 1437597902697.jpg (12KB, 500x359px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1437597902697.jpg
12KB, 500x359px
>>739165360
>>
File: Manson.jpg (62KB, 980x552px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Manson.jpg
62KB, 980x552px
>Be me
>Small German kid in British middle school
>get bullied a lot and called a Nazi
>Gets annoying
>Get called Nazi in PE/Gym
>Proceed to stab guy in stomach 6 times with a pencil.
>Tell kid next time it'll be a proper knife
>TFW getting school bag everyday for a knife
>>
File: IMG_1254.png (583KB, 750x500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_1254.png
583KB, 750x500px
>>739170652
Being In the north east fucking sucks. Everyone's just a dole cunt either you get a shit job at McDonald's become a tradesman or just live on white storm.

>be me
>walking on a Saturday night, my cars parked outside the shops.
>was new car day saved £3000 of my wagie bucks
>big weaboo faggot, went all out bought a swift sport Nav version as well.
>bitches mirin the two exhausts.
>corsa comes from no where decatted exhaust bursts my eardrums
>handbrake turn because got to get those 14 year roasties wet
>slides straight into bumper
>captain corsa jumps out
>"oi m8 fook off am I paying for that piece of shit."
> jumps back in corsa drives off.
>I give chase
>glorious Nippon steel 4 banger catches up to corsa wagon
>roasties hanging out the car chucking McDonald's at me
>banzaimode.png
>corsa panicks and munches the side barrier and folds the door in like tin foil.
>O H S H I T O.jpg
>he slams on the brakes but the corsa spins like a wheel of fortune.
>except it's not going to be good fortune.
>jumps the side barrier into the forest and lays in its last resting place.
>stop and press f to pay respects to the three banger.
>captain corsa is freaking out and pegs it into the woods, no insurance probably.
>three roasties are just sitting there
>one of them gets out and looks straight at me and shouts "well are you ganna help or not like"
>"no."
>I engage japspeed and gtfo while I still can.
> wash my car off and wrap the scratched bumper sides in carbon.
>get a call of my friend the next day.
>you know that corsa that went off on pegswood straight?
>"uh no."
>yeah it's in Danny's scrapyard now I'm picking parts off it
>I drove to the scrapyard to kek at it being crushed.

Got some more car stories if there's people wanting to hear.
>>
>>739165693
moar pls
>>
>>739175059
6/10 and dating some feminine fatass
I regret nothing
>>
>>739175512

>>captain corsa jumps out

Wait a sec...

I think I know exactly where you live Anon I heard about this
>>
>be me
>be freshman
>be in gym class
>guy turns around and says "hey anon"
>qt cheerleader says "omg don't"
>this sounds fun already "go on guy"
>"cheerleader likes you"
>without missing a beat I say "yeah well *stretch* I can't say I blame her"
>the three of us have a laugh
>guy tells me "well played"
>later cheerleader's friend comes up to me and tells me "she really does like you"
>pfft yeah right, I fell for this prank in middle school and I'm not falling for it again
>years later wonder what could have been
>>
>>739165753
this. nothing to lose anon.
>doitfagget.jpg
>>
>>739176222
idol
>>
>>739162579
>be 13
>shit my pants in PE due to diarrhea
>fuck
>>
>>739171471
damn... i feel that too anon
>>
File: ohshit.jpg (12KB, 401x372px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
ohshit.jpg
12KB, 401x372px
>>739175173
Dude you're lucky. Back in the day I took 3D photos of my dick with my 3DS. I later borrowed it to my 10yo sister and she saw them.
>>
>>739176944
>>
>>739177159
wat?
>>
File: download (1).jpg (10KB, 266x190px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
download (1).jpg
10KB, 266x190px
>be me
>high school sophomore
>straight, have a decent 6/10 gf
>dating for two months
>me and my buddies from chess club are in the bathroom on the third floor sucking each other off
>right as my one bro busts in my mouth I hear the door open
>idiot friend was supposed to watch the door, I guess he had started jerking it and forgot
>in walks a mutual friend of mine and my gf
>try to swallow and gag, cough cum all over my shirt
>I'm on my knees and my friend is zipping up
>says he won't tell her
>he did
>>
>>739164702
>chola girl.
what do you mean with dat anon?
>>
>>739177279
>straight
no
>>
File: 1499066213452.jpg (24KB, 750x573px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1499066213452.jpg
24KB, 750x573px
>>739162579
>be me, 13 year old donger
>8th grade i think
>make friends with average looking girl
>she becomes one of my best friends
>text literally every day as soon as I got home
>i'm fucking retarded and didn't realize this wasn't what I did with my other best friends.
>she must have noticed it and concluded she was special to me
>we used to hang out after school and play vidya on our gameboys
>she was a bit of a weeaboo
>not the stereotypical weeb, she was healthy, clean, and took care of herself.
>she got me into anime
>i just watched what was popular, she watched the obscure stuff.
>it was a red flag, but i liked her anyway.
>people start to notice how close we were
>i got teased about it. but didn't see it as romantic, so it was a little annoying
>start avoiding her in public
>this must have made me seem hard to get because she told me not to care about what people said

i feel squirmish just typing this.

>anyway, she eventually tells me how she felt.
>she was socially awkward so I had to encourage her to just straight up say what she had to say.
>she nervously tells me not to freak out
>and told me that she liked me
>autism kicks in at this point and I reply with "oh...um...WHAT!?"
>"I kinda like you too, but not in that way"
>niggayoublewit.gif
>she's in tears
>i'm saved by the bell
>we avoid each other for the next year
>occasional short convo over text. nothing compared to the multi-hour conversations we used to have

The thing is, i did have romantic feelings for her. Now that I think about it, my reasoning was flawed. My family was poor, and she was filthy rich. She would always talk about the latest games, best consoles, expensive vacations, fancy restaurants, etc. I never told her that i didn't have the same kind of experiences and stuck to talking about those things from an outsider perspective. I managed to hold conversations this way, but it never felt genuine. Only now, so many years later, I realize what I missed out on
>>
okay I got one

>middle school, japanese, last class of day
>watching some shitty anime since last week or two and its weeb culture so it counts i guess?
>annoying as fuck bitch but kinda cute won't shut the fuck up during it
>I was admittedly weeb as fuck at the time
>tell her to stfu but she starts getting snarky
>turns into her eventually jabbing me trying to egg me on
>go autism rage mode and literally slap the hoe like a shortchanged pimp
>class all silent staring at me now, a few girls start harping that you can't hit girls etc
>immediately freeze and realise what I did as the teacher starts stumbling over
>turn to the girl
>nursing her face the girl stares me down with the sexiest grin I've ever seen
>realise she actually fucking enjoyed it, or is gonna enjoy watching me get fucked
>don't know how to react and sit there wide eyed
>completely stunned I just sit there while the teacher starts berating me and organising my immediate suspension

Saw her years later and she seemed pretty friendly still. Middle school is fucking weird
>>
>>739177279
stuff like this happened a lot, I had sort of a reputation for it in my school days
>be me in 8th grade
>ask a grill, let's call her Rebecca, to formal
>she said yes, fuck yea
>fast forward to formal
>slow dancing with Rebecca, bored as fuck
>when the song ends I go to take a piss
>my bro Jeff is in the bathroom with a flask of liquor he stole from his parents
>"anon want to hit this?"
>fuckyea.png
>end up taking pulls on the flask with him for something like 15 minutes
>starting to feel really tipsy
>gotta get back to the dance
>"thanks man, that was a lifesaver"
>hang on anon, take a pull of this
>he pulls out his cock
>I laughed, "you're such a faggot Jeff"
>turn to leave
>something stops me
>I turned around and dropped onto my knees and started sucking on his cock like it was an ice cold water bottle in the middle of the desert
>he lights a cigarette in one hand and hold my head with the other
>"give me that" I said, taking his cigarette and turning him around
>I pushed the butt of the cig into the butt of his ass and he farted a puff inwardly
>I sucked the puff out of his ass and licked it while jerking him off
>turned him around and jammed his meaty cock down my throat just in time to empty his load into my stomach
cont.?
>>
>>739167818
Kinda similar....10th grade was dating a girl who's ex brought a gun to school. Apparently he asked someone about my schedule and then they saw him fucking with the gun in his backpack. Admin was notified but he had then disappeared. I got called to office for protection till they found him. I guess his notebooks were all full of drawings of people getting shot in the head. I didn't think much of it at the time, but now when I think back....I'm like DAMN!, kid coulda smoked me.
>>
>>739177949
no thanks
>>
>>739177949
nigger thats fucking gay
>>
>>739174850
you got capitalize on those open opportunities for counter hits then fighting doesn't stop after high school and you might get hurt one day not taking it seriously
>>
>>739177357
Beaner
>>
>>739175124
kek
>>
>be me in 5th grade
>sitting in geography class
>each day, we do a rotation so that every kid gets to hold this big ass globe for a class period
>sit next to qt crush in said class
>hear she's into medieval culture and goes to renaissance fairs with her family
>realize my turn with the big globe is coming up
>ihaveanidea.jpg
>spend entire life savings (~$50) on a couple of antique cloth globes
>convince mom to stitch the globe cloth into a cape and crown
>show up the next day dressed like an autistic batman villain reject
>smugly walk to the front of the class, people slowly noticing my globe outfit
>"I demand-eth thee, teacher wench, fetch my-eth prized globe at once-eth"
>the teacher, globe in hand, is just staring at me
>nobody is saying or doing anything
>look at qt crush
>she's hiding her face from the embarrassment
>panic
>begin rhythmically snapping fingers and doing a weird jig as I approach my teacher
>start chanting "I've got the whole world in my hands" in the most radio-host voice I can muster
>the stares get even worse
>chant louder with the worse goofy smile on my face
>grab the globe, skeet back to my desk, and hum "I've got the whole world in my hands" for the next hour
>mfw nobody found it amusing
>mfw qt crush ended up moving in a few months anyway
>mfw my new nickname was The Globe King
>>
>>739173404
fukkin screencapped lmao
>>
>>739178735
I had a hearty kek
>>
>>739178735
Why is there never a point like, the night before where you look at yourself and go over your plan/idea in your head and go:

"wtf am thinking??!!?"

Or is that what makes the autist an autist?
>>
File: 31245351342.jpg (6KB, 184x273px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
31245351342.jpg
6KB, 184x273px
>>739177949
cont.
>Go back to slow dancing with Rebecca
>she complains that my breath smells like cum
>I played it off like she was crazy
>fast forward an hour or so, getting punch from the food area while Rebecca's in the bathroom
>feel a finger slide up my ass
>it's Jeff
>dude cut it out Rebecca's gonna see
>try to pull away but it feels to good
>he's wrist-deep now, rummaging in my rectum
>I flex as hard as I can and force my dick to suck itself inside my body
>My dick is not inside out, and pointing out of my ass
>Jeff grips in in his hand inside of my asshole and starts to stroke it
>Rebecca returns and we continue to slow dance while Jeff is crouched behind me and jerks me off through my ass
>can't last much longer
>Rebecca's starting to realize somethings up (my ass)
>I'm too carried away to notice
>about to cum
>she looks over my shoulder and see's Jeff working his magic
>she shoves me but it's too late
>I fart out a huge load onto Jeff's face and my dick unravels back out of my body
>"er, t-that's just icing Rebecca"
>she tells me to prove it by eating some
>Jeff looks at me and I wink
>"Fine, look"
>scoop a handful of jizzum off Jeff's face and slurp it down
>mfw to this day she doesn't know
>>
>>739179307
My dad was very against the idea, but my mom insisted that I ought to be able to express myself however I choose. I can vaguely remember a scene in my head involving my mother stitching together the monstrosity while my father stood, beer in hand, in passive disapproval in the doorway.
>>
>>739178735
>>
File: 1447203631999.jpg (70KB, 480x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1447203631999.jpg
70KB, 480x720px
>>739176944
>>
>be me
>in primary, age was probably around 7-8
>need to take a shit
>go to bathroom
>unleash fury
>then it struck me, the sudden horror
>no toilet paper
>the autism kicks in
>"I'm sure it won't that bad I can just wipe when I get home"
>pull up pants and jeans go back to class
>everyone starts wondering what a weird smell is coming from
>ohgodno.exe
>ask to go to bathroom again
>fuck it's worse than I expected
>massive stain, smell is sickening
>autism max level activates
>wet toilet paper with the sink and soap
>try to clean it, praying it works
>itdidntworkout.mp3
>somehow made it even worse and smell even more disgusting
>had to tell Teacher Assistant what happened
>Mom had to come to school with new fresh pants
>was known as The Stifling Stain until school ended
>>
File: 8hc3bbR.jpg (56KB, 431x767px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
8hc3bbR.jpg
56KB, 431x767px
>Be me
>5-6 years old, in prep
>I was the loner, the outcast
>Most lunchtimes were spent running away from a pack of 7-8 bullies or sitting at the back of the oval
>One bully hated my guts in particular
>Ring leader fag wasn't physically strong but he was smart
>At one point, popular fag invited everyone in the grade to his party except me
>This shit never stopped
>Went to the bathroom and would be kicked whilst using the urinal
>Beaten up 2-3 times a week
>Always hid my bruises
>This shit went on for 7 months
>Told my mum I hated life like an tard
>Parents talk
>Dad sits me down, burst into tears and tell him my situation
>Dad tells me that I have a choice, either continue to take shit or man up
>The next days I started seeing my bullies differently
>They were weak
>Over the remainder of the year I made a few friends
>The pack of 7-8 bullies started to dwindle
>A few started to follow me
>I wanted ring leader fag
>Last day of school, 6 other boys and I track him down
>Corner him, we kick him for the rest of lunch
>He left school
>I was almost suspended but let off
>Realised that day I wasn't a nice person
>Realised why everyone hated me
>Never changed
>>
>>739165196
>he's Half Japanese


Holy shit you grew up with Jad Fair
>>
>>739170396
WAT.CR2
>>
>9th grade
>Me and my bud find a small plastic toy of the pig from Toy Story in the gym
>We started a game with it where we put it random places in the gym and the other person had to find it

>We named the pig porkchop
>We get 1/2 the people in history class in on the porkchop game
>Now it's become a game where we hide porkchop anywhere
>we would tell the general location of porkchop in the classroom to everyone who was in on the game that day, whoever was the one to bring porkchop to lunch got to have my goldfish crackers

>So for about a month, a lost dog had been hanging out outside the school, was friendly with kids and teachers
>Everyone named the dog Whiskey because he kept sniffing on the history teacher whose breath smelled like alcohol
(Don't worry this is part of the story)

>One day, it was my turn to hide porkchop
>Put porkchop on the metal thing that holds Flag above the history class door
>next day the fat fucker named Luke brings dog into history class
>history teacher always takes like 10 mins to get to class
>Everyone in class is talking to Whiskey
>Whiskey gets dirt all over Luke

>History teacher walks in and sees the dog running under the desks
>"what the hell? You gotta get that damn dog outta here! Whoever is did this is in trouble"
>Walks out, I guess to tell someone
>Teacher opens the door really fast, hits the wall
>"Get the dog outta here"
>Porkchop above the door, falls and hits the teacher's head
>porkchoptotherescue.gif
>"ow, what was that?"
>half the class laughing and saying "porkchop"
>others have no clue what happened
>Whiskey gets scared and sprints out the door, running in the gym
>"I'd like to have a class pet too y'all, but we can't"
>Luke says he did it
>Teacher laughs and doesn't care

>we Keychain porkchop to whiskey's collar
>Someone eventually took Whiskey to the dog shelter
>Luke tells us he saw him there with the collar
>Whiskey and Porkchop, partners in crime forever
>>
File: 1480787422939.png (714KB, 600x740px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1480787422939.png
714KB, 600x740px
>>739167896
underrated post
>>
>>739180991
That's Mr evil Dr porkchop to you
>>
>>739172091
You really hurt him anon :(
>>
File: yea.jpg (5KB, 204x200px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
yea.jpg
5KB, 204x200px
> be me
> be 13-ish
> come late in to the locker room for pe class
> finished changing clothes but have to take a piss
> didn't lock the door since i locked myself up last time
> pe teacher always comes to check the toilets

>there i am, pants down, water streaming from my dick

>teacher opens door
> gets a glimpse of me naked
> i quickly shut the door and say "uhh sorry i didn't lock it"
>mfw when i walk in and everybody knows
>>
File: IMG_1227.jpg (102KB, 1190x842px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_1227.jpg
102KB, 1190x842px
>>739175769
Yeah the roads are fucking dangerous here like pegswood straight might as well be a death wish in the rain, the person your thinking of was Ricky tynemouth corsa again just a D class.
>>
>be half spic half Slav, 1st grade
>be sitting at round tables
>accidentally touch the football of the girl across from me
>immediately implies I like her
>she acts disgusted
>she never came back to school again
>>
>>739182299
>touch the football
Meant foot
>>
>be me, freshman
>girl said she remembered me from middle school
>said she never talked to me because she thought I was weird
>don't recall unleashing autism
>realize my brain has been willingly blocking my tism experiences
>>
File: 1497716713798.jpg (48KB, 600x632px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1497716713798.jpg
48KB, 600x632px
>>739175124
Holy shit anon. Kek worthy material
>>
fucked my gf in school toilet, my cock slips out and my cord breaks...
blood everywhare...
>>
>be me
>middle school
>boring ass english class
>have always had irritable bowels
>have to shit
>go up to the teacher during a reading time.
>embarrassed already cause everyone will hear me ask to use the bathroom
>teacher says no
>"ok"
>a few minutes pass and the desire to shit increases to pants filling level
>tell the teacher again
>me: "I really have to go"
>teacher: "fine"
>shit myself on way to bathroom
>the game is on
>get to bathroom
>shit all over my underwear and legs
>strip off the undies without getting any on my jeans
>get cleaned up
>while cleaning i didnt realize i forgot to lock the door
>janitor tries to walk in to clean, >i brace the door with my shitty hand
>SOMEONES IN HERE
>he fucks off
>now what?
>leave shitty undies in stall
>after i leave the urge to shit comes back
>go to next stall to cover my tracks
>2 other kids walk in and see the mess i made
>hear them laughing and gagging
>they try to get into my stall
>locked this time
>I yell out "MAN IT SURE DOES SMELL LIKE SHIT IN HERE"
>tracks covered
>get back to class
>teacher pissed since it took so long
>mfw it was first period and i had to spend the whole day free balling in rough ass jeans.
>probably smelled a lil like shit all day too.
>>
>be 6
>pooping
>forget to lock stall
>door swings open
>kind in the year above staring at me
>"if it's not coming out, you have to do it like this"
>tenses up, clenches his fist
>"HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNGGGGHHHHHH"
>swiftly exists
>leaves door open
kids are fucking weird
>>
>>739167192
Christ
>>
File: IMG_2884.jpg (108KB, 600x640px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_2884.jpg
108KB, 600x640px
>9th grade
>Me and my bud find a small plastic toy of the pig from Toy Story in the gym
>We started a game with it where we put it random places in the gym and the other person had to find it

>We named the pig porkchop
>We get 1/2 the people in history class in on the porkchop game
>Now it's become a game where we hide porkchop anywhere
>we would tell the general location of porkchop in the classroom to everyone who was in on the game that day, whoever was the one to bring porkchop to lunch got to have my goldfish crackers

>So for about a month, a lost dog had been hanging out outside the school, was friendly with kids and teachers
>Everyone named the dog Whiskey because he kept sniffing on the history teacher whose breath smelled like alcohol
(Don't worry this is part of the story)

>One day, it was my turn to hide porkchop
>Put porkchop on the metal thing that holds Flag above the history class door
>next day the fat fucker named Luke brings dog into history class
>history teacher always takes like 10 mins to get to class
>Everyone in class is talking to Whiskey
>Whiskey gets dirt all over Luke

>History teacher walks in and sees the dog running under the desks
>"what the hell? You gotta get that damn dog outta here! Whoever is did this is in trouble"
>Walks out, I guess to tell someone
>Teacher opens the door really fast, hits the wall
>"Get the dog outta here"
>Porkchop above the door, falls and hits the teacher's head
>porkchoptotherescue.gif
>"ow, what was that?"
>half the class laughing and saying "porkchop"
>others have no clue what happened
>Whiskey gets scared and sprints out the door, running in the gym
>"I'd like to have a class pet too y'all, but we can't"
>Luke says he did it
>Teacher laughs and doesn't care

>we Keychain porkchop to whiskey's collar
>Someone eventually took Whiskey to the dog shelter
>Luke tells us he saw him there with the collar
>Whiskey and Porkchop, partners in crime forever
>>
>>739184557
Nice pasta.
>>
I just forgot to put the pic with it lol
>>
>>739163541
Why did they bully you?
>>
>>739185403
Probably because tween girls are fucking the devils spawn.
>>
>>739162579
>be me
>be tard wrangler in a high school
>fucking hate my job have to sit in a classroom with these fucking window lickers everyday and make sure they don't overdose on crayolas
>there's 4 of them
>decide one day i've had enough and decide i'm fucking quitting next week
>fast forward 1 week the school know i'm leaving in 2 days
>next day is sports day have to make sure these fucking hams don't trip and accidentally swallow another kid etc
>they all get gold medals because "they all won"
>lunch time comes and they go back to the class room and hide their tard gold in their schoolbags
>fuckinggoldenidea.jpeg
>decide i'll play a prank since it's my second last day
>take all 4 medals and put them into one of the schoolbags
>they come back to the classroom after lunch being shepperded by the lunch room monitor
>they all reach into their bags to get their precious tard gold
>3of them can't find theirs and start freaking the fuck out
>ohfuckyesherewego.jpeg
>tard number 4 pulls out all 4 medals
>before he can fucking explain himself one of the other tards turned into fucking edge from wwe and spear tackled him to the ground
>start fucking beating the shit out of each other on the ground rolling around it was a fucking glorious sight
>the other 2 tards decide to fucking join in now theres a tard moshpit on the fucking ground they're beating the extra chromosomes out of each other
>fuckingglorious.jpeg
>decide to finally run and get principle to help
>break them up and explain what happened without mentioning it was my fault and their parents have to come in and collect them
>the next day only 2 tards in the class because one of them is suspended and the other is in too much pain
>mfw it was the easiest day i ever did in that job
>tfw i let that prank get out of hand and accidentally mashed a few potatoes
>>
File: steve.jpg (120KB, 400x279px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
steve.jpg
120KB, 400x279px
>>739186242

KEK
>>
>>739162579
>be me, spastic 16 yr old
>helping out teacher with a quiz night because I owed her
>Marking quizzes, pretty boring
>Notice paper lying around
>start drawing random offensive stuff, swastikas, bdsm, animal abuse etc.
>Finish up drawing, and finish marking quizzes
>Score half a leftover pizza and a sprite
>carrying drawing with me
>forget drawing at table
>turns out I signed it
>turns out a bunch of teachers ended up seeing it
>I get called in for a meeting about it later
I think I still have it lying around, I got it back afterwards when I convinced them I wasn't some kind of rapist.
>>
Not the worst story mby the best one

>gr.3
>me and friend chilling on a snow hill right by a school portable portable
>me and my nigga push this fat asian kid down the hill
>fall down with him cuz of shitty ice
>me and my friend on top of his back as were going down this shit hill
>fat kid hits his head off the portable
>o shit he aint moving anymore
>hear the recess bell go off
>kids from the field approaching the doors to go back to class
>thought it would be a good idea to kick snow so no one can see this corpse just chilling there
>time running out so we leave without fully covering him

fast forward

>people helping him out people surrounding him
>has a concussion or someshit
>in class
>hear my name and my bros getting called from the PA system
>should've ran to mexico while i had the chance
>principal talking to us bout the incident
>who the fuck snitched on us
>asks who did it
>blame these 2 niggers that were there earlier saying they pushed me and my bro and we all fell
>principle calls in the 2 niggers and gives us a speech about being safe or some shit
>get the fuck out that incident some fucken how

felt gr8 i told the kid it was us 2 years later he didnt care, everyone knew it was us and we got called killers ever since gr.3-gr.8 funny times
>>
>>739167793
Moar
>>
the worst part of high school was walking past all of the shunned EX gifs over the years avoiding eye contact in the halls and all. each time a new pain realizing the love of your life slipped out of your hands shit was hard
>>
>>739162579
>be me in first month of middle school
>mom's a fat drunk and my dad a crack head fat drunk
>because we were poor our house was right next to the parking of our middle school
>in school firs fire drill
>everyone go to South parking lot (literally) in my front yard all 1,200 kids and teachers and administrators are assembled
>fat drunk mom and fat drunk crack head father are home and arguing screaming yelling
>you are a whore Julia a fucking whore
>I'm not a whore you are fucking crack head a crack head why don't I call the cops right now and you can tell them about all the crack you have
>go ahead and call the cops why don't you and I'l show them all the dresses your son has in his room. He's a fag just like your brother it's in your family....
>In front of everyone this goes on and on while we all wait for the buzzer to sound to return after the drill
>>
>>739170652
That sucks, at least in America you could have got a gun and killed them all
>>
File: 1497468648717.gif (1MB, 288x198px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1497468648717.gif
1MB, 288x198px
>>739164165
Lost it keked
>>
>>739171471
Same knew this girl when i was at elementary she use to be fat and shy.I also use to be the kid that would talk to everybody,she was always kind of shy around me and i would listen to her and all but really didn't like anybody back then.Now Highschool she's a 8/10 not my type but still.
>>
File: IMG_8070.png (9KB, 645x773px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_8070.png
9KB, 645x773px
I still have a story I posted two months ago. This is an after school story.

>be me
>be 20
>meet up with some old friends from high school
>there's this girl, let call her Cassidy, never really talked to her
>she's an easy 10/10, plays vidya, she's awesome
>we have a lot in common
>so much in common I can only list the things we don't have in common
>but I'm a 5/10, 6 at best
>we text for like three weeks after we all met at a party
>she gives me her Skype after the three weeks
>we stay up until like 4 in the morning for a week straight just talking and having a good time
>calls being like 13 hours long, talking about deep shit
>she tells me personal stories and I do the same
>borrowing my friends Nintendo Switch to play Zelda while I talked to her
>she was also playing Zelda at the same time
>thought she liked me back since she was always laughing and having fun talking with me
>>
>be me, 13 in grade 8
>for every subject we all have a blank little journal
>one day find an un-used one that I can doodle in
>fuck yea
>draw a comic about Jews getting into the "shower"
>there are shower heads and warm water comes out to the Jews relief
>then there is a zoomed out picture of nazi officers beating their dicks and cumming into an it vat that then goes down to the starving Jews who are bathing in it
>Also drew a really detailed cock (went to art lessons outside of school)
>my final drawing was of a nigger getting hanged from a tree while a bunch of people cheered
>mfw principal walks in and snatched it from me
>mfw my mom had to come in and they showed it to her
>>
File: IMG_8071.jpg (21KB, 225x225px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_8071.jpg
21KB, 225x225px
>>739189139

>she tells me about who she's always liked, she brings up two of my friends
>I shrug it off not thinking too much about it, I know my friends don't like her back
>we have the same sense of humor, play the same games, like the same food, we seem perfect for each other
>one of my friends notices us always online on Skype, he knows we've been talking since the party
>he thinks we'd be good for each other
>he asks her if she likes me without telling me
>the next day he shows me all the text messages
>she just says 'no'
>doesn't give a reason, doesn't say kinda or maybe, just 'no'
>why did I even talk to her for a month
>this obviously hurt me pretty badly
>I confront her the next day, she doesn't explain why and she thinks we should just stay friends, the cliché
>it's like I found the perfect girl and we had all that shit in common, and she just says no
>why
>>
File: 1330885679382.png (1MB, 869x815px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1330885679382.png
1MB, 869x815px
>>739165360
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>
>>739177668
top 10 saddest anime endings
>>
I remember when I was 10, we have in our group of friends 1 girl who was a total slut, she was 12.
We bukkaked her face every day, it was great. It's not a bad story, but I wanted to share it anyway.
>>
>>739189212
Cause women are the worst.
>>
File: 1492935526346.jpg (22KB, 400x400px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1492935526346.jpg
22KB, 400x400px
>be me, 3rd grader
>be female
>had few close friends, mostly female too
>one of them, let's call her Stacey, has an older brother that we'll call Kiki
>Kiki is slightly autistic and weird
>He was older than me by 6 years, which means that when I met him I was 8 and he was 14
>long story short, he asked me out
>i was pure cringe at that time, having a boyfriend was like the fucking Graal
>accepts
>first kiss, ect
>of course, the relationship is a secret, we actually talked in some sort of secret code involving dinosaurs names instead of stuff like "i love you"
>fast forward a month into relationship
>he wants the fuck
>too candid to actually know what that implicated
>he already did stuff like lick my nipples and made me feel his dick through his pants a few times
>okayyyy.jpg
>i thought it was kind of weird but really he was just an autistic teenagers in heat
>so he wants the fuck
>accepts
>won't get into details but pussy out last second
>we don't talk for the whole weekend
>i come back at school on monday
>everyone's looking at me in a strange way
>a bunch of old guys come at me and ask me if i really had sex with Kiki
>what
>shit
>i tell them no and run crying
>mfw the whole school thinks I'm a whore
>mfw I'm 8 years old
>mfw I was in this school until I turned 13

Stacey never talked to me again.
>>
>be me
>sophomore year of highschool
>have a group of friends in robotics club, were all on a team
>in our group of friends is this 9/10 chick
>always flirty with me
>autism kicks in as usuall, don't get the hints but i still like her
>one day i say fuck it and ask her out, don't expect a yes
>fuckit.jpg
>ask her to the movies
>says she'll think about it
>i was a deppressed fuck and always thought negatively about everything so i thought it was her saying no in a nice way
>a day layer she says it would be nice to watch the movie together
>wait what?
>didn't expect this, had no money for movie or a ride for it
>panic
>think of other ideas
>bombard her with different suggestion and times
>she eventually said that i could just come over and hang out because she was busy with chores and couldn't go out
>go to her house
>get negative vibes
>she says she didnt expect me to come
>her sister says she didnt actually like me
>i had a panic attack
>how could someone this good like a piece of shit like me?
>emotions are everywhere
>get angry
>lose it
>act like a dick till i had to leave
>fast forward a few weeks
>school is awkward, any eye contact i make with my failed attempt of a relationship is cut off by dirty looks from her
>found out her sisyer was lying
>apologize to crush for being a dick
>she actually did like me
>wecanstillbefriends.mp4

This happened last year, im going back to highschool in about a month, i know most of the story didn't involve being at school but it's just a story of how i failed at being good with relationships
>>
>fuck
>>
>>739191285
Hahaha, Wat een rare jij.
>>
>>739191454
>okay
>>
>>739175512
more pls friend
>>
>>739191517
why are you speaking in Dutch?
>>
File: 1494976770881.gif (68KB, 500x293px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1494976770881.gif
68KB, 500x293px
>>739191285
You shouldn't even have dated him in the first place.He was clearly an anti social,autistic kid who was horny and had no real experience with girls,or people his age which is why he had to rely on an innocent little girl who was 6 years younger then him.This guy should go to jail has a pedophile

> We use dinosour names as our secret code

Keked ultimate autism
>>
once in primary schoom in the mlrning we had a power outedge and i was out of underpants so i got new ones out of the washed cloth basked but it was a pink slipper from my little sister . the whole day i wore these tiny pink trousers . they were scratchy and uncomfortable . it was only when i went to the bathroom to see that i wore the most sissy pants possible . i was so embarrest .
>>
>>739192338
I know, I know, but I felt really proud about it at the time.
And also, the dinosaur names... i cringe just thinking about it.
>>
>be me
>10th grade, is 16 years old.
>teacher gives us a task.
>need to read a book and make a presentation about it.
>teacher recommended "the boy in the striped pyjamas" since I am a history freak and love ww2 stuff.
>Read the book
>I hold the presentation
>Talks about the differences between the book and movie, said that the grandmother is ginger in the book and blond in the movie.
>teacher gets mad at me for saying "ginger"
>I continue to hold the presentation
> end up saying that the message is that if you let your kid out of sight it will end up getting gassed.
>some laughed
> a kid in the class made a meme about it.
Just one of The stories that I had. All though it pales against the other stuff in this thread
>>
File: maxresdefault.jpg (70KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
maxresdefault.jpg
70KB, 1280x720px
>>739175173
>be me
>retard sitting at table
>get handed DSi with pictures of vaginas and tits
>point at the autistic owner of said DSi and laugh for having lewd pictures on his phone because of my own insecurities
>go home after school
>yell towards the direction of my parents saying that its not a phase
>go to room
>watch furry porn
>think to myself
>those nudes on that autistic jews DSi werent animals
>fucking pleb
>mfw
>>
>>739192916
*DSi not phone
Shit
>>
>>739192515
that must have been awful, when did that happen? last year?
>>
>>739175173
3Ds that was not too long ago i think you're under age.MODS
>>
>5th grade
>thing cussing in other languages is the coolest thing ever
>hang out with fag friends who think it's cool
>cute girl i like
>make the mistake of say CYKA BLYAT SCHEISSE
>she tells teacher
>teacher talks to me saying it's not nice
>im wearing sunglasses, but i still fucking cry
>i end up losing my friends too
Fast forward to 6th grade
>I apologize to the girl and make new friends
>i still fucking hate myself to this day
>>
File: singletear.jpg (4KB, 259x194px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
singletear.jpg
4KB, 259x194px
>>739162579
>be me
>be funny guy
>actually entertaining the class
>liked by all kids because of that
>liked by girls too apparently
>be shy, awkward, been told i'm ugly all my life by parents, have acne
>so no self esteem whatsoever
>years of being funny and getting compliments from girls
>the funny guy meme is actually true
>didn't realize that until now
>I'm 22 now, kissless, gfless virgin
>alone at home
>pretty much a hermit at this point
fuck my life
>>
>>739193219
Same here use to be the clown kid.
>>
File: steamed hams.jpg (5KB, 240x201px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
steamed hams.jpg
5KB, 240x201px
>>739165360
fucking hell anon.
>>
>>739165693
holy shit my new favorite person.
>>
Not exactly highschool but along the same lines...

>be me. early 20s
>college student, finally living in big city
>spend nights at a bar
>what else do you do in college?
>one night walked in and saw most beautiful woman behind bar
>my jaw drops
>my heart melts
>she is every live song I wish I could have written
>slowly hang out with crowd at bar
>loner all my life so this was new to me
>she was part of crowd
>slow to warm up to me
>bring her food I made in school
>I was culinary student
>she refused, saying she doesn't take stuff from strangers
>made me want her even more
>memorized her schedule to know when she'd be there
>always showed up
>slowly became friends
>soon became my best friend from crowd
>the love I had for her was real
>the courage to tell her was lacking
>so of course, she soon starts dating asshole
>I was hurt at being demoted to second place, but knew it was because I never told her my feelings
>I watched from the sidelines, knowing they wouldn't last
>my heart would break everytime I saw them together
>we still stayed friends
>eventually douche bag cheats on her with another bartender
>they break up
>although I'm sad for her, I'm really happy on the inside
>I was always known as the nice guy and my friends would say "be patient anon, your time will come"
>one day she comes up to me and says "I was thinking last night anon, and I realized you'd be the best boyfriend ever"
>wtf?
>did this really happen?
>Is she serious? Is she joking?
>I tell her "Bah, I'd just let you down and be bad in bed anyways"
>MFW she walks away and doesn't say anything to me for the rest of the night
>MFW she gets back together with loser boyfriend
>get angry at myself, lash out at her saying she deserves to get hurt again when I would have threated you better
>cut off all contact with her because of my petty anger and jealously and not once blaming myself
>>
>>739191285
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
>>
>>739166448
rip pog boy
>>
>last day in high school
>we all hit the pub at the end of the day
>it was a school thing
>get smashed
>go to this one qt 3.14 I had a crush on
>of course, being a beta that doesn't know how to women
>I pick her up
>run around with her for like a sec
>drunk af
>she says "ummm I think my friend is more interested, try her"
>put her down
>laugh it off and walk away
>disregarded the situation
>some girl from my class afterwords tells me what I did (it was like a year later)
>I remember
>shit
I made so many mistakes in my past and I feel like the only way to escape it all and avoid confrontation is to leave the city and start anew
>>
>>739194793
Pt II

Eventually, the crowd all drifted apart as crowd do when people get older. I heard that douchebag cheated on her again and she quit the bar out of embarrassment. Now we're spread out across the country and I still talk to a few of them on FB, But no one knows what happened to her. I've scanned social media far and wide to no avail. 20 years on, I still think of her.

So I guess my lesson to you all is go for it. Rejection (If they say no) you can get over, regret will keep you up all night.
>>
>>739163106
Doesn't sound too bad
>>
>>739164165
wow, dude...
Contact her on MSN. You never know, what can happen
>>
File: 1499736524831.jpg (70KB, 619x493px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1499736524831.jpg
70KB, 619x493px
>>739165693
Someone caption this.I think we hit a gold mine.
>>
>>739166448
>Nobody knows what pegs are
>>
>>739166448
>Nobody knows what pogs are
>>
>>739193219
literally got two 8-9/10 GFs in HS by being the funny guy. I had bad acne, and still do and I'm not that attractive. I'm single now too and don't know how to meet people. Feels bad mang.
>>
>>739172091
by god this man needs shooting.
>>
File: spicedad.gif (749KB, 326x183px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
spicedad.gif
749KB, 326x183px
>>739175124
this thread is fucking gold anon, gg.
>>
>8th grade
>had a pair of pants with a hole in the taint region
>hated those pants but I didn't have any other thing to wear
>lunch rolls around
>get normal meal, and some carrots
>crushes table is about 3 tables away
>table playing truth or dare
>all of us dicking around having a jolly old time
>one of the dares was to ask the lunch aid on a date (not directly but just be like "oh whatcha doin tonight? Need company?")
>kid named Evan actually starts talking to her
>then boom, it came to me
>I took one of those orange beauties and stuck it in my pant hole mimicking a male penis right in front of the aid
>lunch table is dying
>aid is shocked (you should have fucking seen the look on her face)
>she says I need to go the lunch detention room
>I try apologizing, and try to tell her I was just kidding
>she realizes the lunch detention room was full and moved me to a table close by
>...crushes table
>"why are you here?"
>embarrassed but laughing myself "I put a carrot in my pants..."
Mfw I got Saturday detention
Mfw I never talked to her ever again
>>
>>739177279
>straight
>chess club
yeah right pal
>>
File: 1426847294389.jpg (30KB, 307x308px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1426847294389.jpg
30KB, 307x308px
> Be grade-school quiet kid who doesn't relate
> Find school bully, dupe him into being my friend.
> Use bully friend to make life cake-walk.
> Relate even less to peers.
FFW Middleschool
> Bully friend moves with meth-head dad.
NotASingleFuck.jpg
> Someone squeeled that I was anti-social to the school shrink.
> Shrink starts mandatory meetings daily. Tell shrink if I needed help I would've applied for his job.
> Pissed shrink throws tantrum, begins slew of mandatory meetings/corrective plans
> Start spending absurd amounts of time in office, get fed up with this hack.
Masterplan.exe
> Bring old worn silver dollar to every meeting and begin tapping it on the metal desks like a metronome.
> School had "PA announcer/secretary optional period" Semi-attractive girl in the office while I wait.
> She asks me about the coin and I tell her the shrink told me to tap it every time I felt crazy. Laugh
> Start tapping the coin every time i'm with the shrink at specific times to get him to relate it.
> Find out where he lives through office girl. Rig fishing line to a heavy nail and hang it so it would tap
> outside his house.
> Months go by and the office girl starts leaving every time I come in and start tapping the coin.
Impendingcrescendo.wav
> I head into the office to wait and the office girl leaves the shrinks wiping away tears.
> The shrink informs me that the police are coming to have a chat with me.
> Turns out office girl had given me her address thinking I had picked up on her flirting with me.
> Spent the rest of middle-school being known as a crazy stalker and had to do community service.
> To this day feel embarrassed when I hear metal clinking.
>>
File: 137347154525.jpg (66KB, 500x666px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
137347154525.jpg
66KB, 500x666px
>>739162579
>16 at the time
>madly in love with a girl in my class
>way, way out of my league
>amazing rack, big eyes and a really cute smile
>I usually sit right behind her
>her and her other hot friend like to tease me from time to time, because I get nervous as fuck
>months of this go by
>me sort of ignoring them, them probing for a reaction
>I had funny hair, a lock in the back was always sort of pointing up, could never get it to go down, like an awkward head boner
>girl asks me if she can put a hair clip in there to pin the thing down
>I say "h..hokay"
>she turns around, sits on her chair on her knees, puts one hand on my desk, the other is going through my hair
>"it's so thick, I wish I had hair like that"
>all the while I'm staring straight into her cleavage, which she practically pushes in my face
>she leans on my shoulder and puts the clip in
>then sits back down and gives me a super cheeky smile
>the next day I complement her on her shirt
>she actually blushes a bit and says thanks
>do this a couple more times over the next few weeks
>one day her friend is sick, so she's alone
>math class
>she asks if she can sit next to me so we can do the exercises together
>she's having trouble, so I explain how to do some stuff to her
>she says, "you're so smart!" and pinches my knee
>stare at my books the rest of the class
>a week later, her friend is back
>her friend turns around, and says to me "you know, she thinks you're really cute..."
>in total shock at this point, super happy inside
>what comes out of my mouth is "yeah, okay"
>it sounded super sarcastic
>her friend and her look at each other, both kind have kind of a disappointed look on their face
>she asks if she can go to the bathroom and when she's walking out I notice a tear on her face
>literally never spoke to her again after that
>>
>>739177949
can we fucking not.
>>
File: doomtears.jpg (59KB, 950x264px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
doomtears.jpg
59KB, 950x264px
I got one

>Eighth grade
>Class trip to Disneyland (4ish hours away)
>Parents have it all worked out, mom will drop me off and dad says he will pick me up, cool, cool
>Trip is great, have a blast, realize wearing puka shells is awful and trash them (smartest move)
>Bus gets back to the school and everyone's parents are there to pick them up
>Not mine
>Tell the teacher I'm just waiting for my dad to show up
>Everyone else is gone, the bus too, and I'm left sitting on the curb at the school with my teacher
>We go into the office and I call my pops
>No answer
>Teacher suggests calling my mom and I insist that my dad was going to pick me up, and he knew it
>Embarrassed as fuck when nobody is answering the phone
>Teacher and I wait another 10 minutes with no one showing up and she eventually offers to take me home
>I start to protest but give up, knowing that he must have forgotten
>Get driven 30 minutes home (and in the opposite direction from teach's place) in angry silence that I was left at the fucking school
>Get to dad's place and say bye, but teach insists on waiting until I'm in the house
>MFW the door's locked and the lights are out, no car in the driveway
>Try to get in the back door but can't, no answer to ringing
>Trudge back to car, defeated, and ask teach to drive me to my mom's
>She drives the extra 15 minutes to my mom's place and I can physically see people in the house, so I thank her and try to get her to leave as fast as possible
>I walk in the door and go straight to my room and feel horrible for being forgotten and then looking like some neglected child whose father couldn't even remember to pick him up
>Every time I'm at school after that I think the teacher is pitying me or something
>feelsbadman

Dad insisted he wasn't going to pick me up and I insisted he was a fucking liar, and then I was pissed at my mom for not checking with him that he picked me up, and for not wondering where I was when I should have been home over an hour before that.
>>
>>739179392
Kek'd loudly
>>
>>739166107
Reminds me of

> be me
> 25 fucking years old
> at this cave/museum with gf
> we were the only ppl there
> all alone
> in a big old engine room there were these crayons and outlines of bats for kids to paint
> I yell »huehue I could totally draw a penis on the bats huehuehue« just as some superviser comes round the corner
> looks at me with those dead old-man eyes
> gf looks at me with those gf eyes
> silently leave
>>
>>739178735
LOL this made me happy
>>
File: 1482197032894.jpg (7KB, 250x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1482197032894.jpg
7KB, 250x250px
>>739162579
I have one about a dude i know that makes me cringe everytime...

> Elementary school, 5th grade
> Class with this kid, he was kind of weird
> Hang around with me and my group of friends
> whatever
> he always was awkward, tell jokes that no one laughed at, be childish, and had a helicopter mother
> mother was a over protective bitch

Anyway, he was just the weird kid in our group.

Fast forward to High School, we are like 15 years old, I didn't take the first grades with him.

> see him again at school
> holy shit you're this dude
> hi long time no see
> girl who i am friend of passes by
> Hi pancake.
> Hi [Girl name, lets call her sarah]
> Wut.jpg
> the girl called him pancake and he replyied
> has me wonder all day until I find this girl again
> sarah, whats up with "pancake", what was that?
> Oh, that dude?
> Yes, why do you call him that?
> It's because when we were at the first day of school in 9th grade he started crying out of nowhere, and when asked why, he replyied: Because my mother forgot to pack me my pancakes for lunch".
> Fucking cringe ensues
> NotReal.exe

Pancake.

His mother forgot to pack his goddamn pancakes.

In 9th grade.

He cried about it.

Pancake.
Thread posts: 260
Thread images: 82





[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.