Have you ever thought you're insane or might be a psychopath?

>>738489985
I know i am. That's why i won't allow myself into certain situations or around certain things

>>738489985
I am clinically insane.
schizoeffective

I think you're bored and wanna seem edgy

>>738490231
hey anon, diagnosed schizoaffective too. how goes it?

I think I'm just a criminal

>>738489985
Am I a bad person for wanting tons of people to be killed off cause they're a waste and I see them as subhuman

Sometimes I felt like I was losing control. There were moments the more i tried to stop thinking of something the more I thought of it. It felt like i could lose it every moment

Realized I wasn't normal when I killed my neighbor's cat for shits and giggles. Made me feel oddly relaxed, been wanting to do more ever since

>>738489985
I left someone to die once. I don't care and don't think about it

>>738490402
Boss has been on my ass all week for seemingly no reason.Drinking jw blue and popping down some xanax.
I feel like taking a long drive and never coming back.

I think i need to up my dose of lithium but i hate my doc and hes been out to get be for months

>>738490429

> I fantasize about being a criminal

FTFY Fggt

>>738489985
If you've ever felt empathy, you're not a psychopath. You might have a little borderline personality syndrome, but everyone has selfish shitty moments. Some people cope with the guilt by convincing themselves they don't care because they think they can't improve, or they just learn to live with being a bad person. Doesn't mean you're a psychopath.

In bad times when people feel lost lots of us make bad decisions. That's how human's are.

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We are all pieces of shit in some way or another but the truly top tier shit bags are the ones who let their own impulses and desires negatively affect those around them. So if you're a piece of shit with no willpower just kill yourself before it gets worse. The only thing that matters in this word is yourself and only a liar claims otherwise. Even those who do good in the name of others do it for their own virtuosity and self fulfillment of their own ego.

I'm starting off slow. Did some petty illegal things. I spend my whole childhood lying. My family thought I stopped, but I only got better at it. I lied about so many things I am not sure what is true anymore. Also I've been manipulative pushing too hard on some girls. I mostly didn't realize it or justified it to myself. I don't wanna go any further. I trying to go back. I've never experienced normal so I have no idea how. It tears me apart. Somebody please help me.

>>738490845
i rob and assault people for fun and I've left a few people in hospital, should I kill myself

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>>738490988

Yes. Do it now and as painfully as possible.

>>738490948
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?

>>738489985
I'm pretty sure I am a nutjob, but not really a criminal I guess. Had a really fucked up early childhood (like, "HBO special that makes everyone cry" fucked up) - and just never really sprang back all the way I guess. Still have nightmares every single night, and I'm pushing 50 now. I've put my gun in my mouth more times than I've actually fired it, but I always pussy out at the last minute, and then tell myself it would be too hard on the wife and kids if I did it.
What kills me the worst though, is the kids. Turns out I didn't just get fucked up from the bad shit that happened. The bad shit that happened was because at least one of my parents had the crazies. And they passed it on to me. And guess what I did. Now my kids are taking psychotic meds and thats just one more thing the voices laugh and tease me about when they aren't all screaming.

>>738490671
hey man it took me around 4 years to get my cocktail right. just be up front with him/her and you'll get it done. i was originally put on depakote before i switched to lithium. that shit was terrible.

>>738491175
nah bro, I honestly don't see why people look down on people who chose a life of crime so much. it's such an adrenaline rush robbing people or cars and house

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>>738490581
story?

>>738490550
are you a cop now?

>>738489985
>Reflected on my actions and feel like I've done bad stuff.
Psychopath doesnt do this. You just might have a bad time.

>>738491443
It's been 17 years.I was originally misdiagnosed as mdd then bipolar then recently the past 5 years as schizo effective. Ive been on like 50 some different types of pills.Lithium has been the staple for 3 years but still havent found stuff that works for more then a few months.
Had 2 rounds of TMS and 1 set of ECT.

I kinda wanna just say fuck it and go off all the meds and see what happens

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>>738490845
I have people in my life who I would die or suffer for. Love connects us and makes us suffer when we betray it. We also all die. Living a lonely selfish life becomes more pointless the older you get, it doesn't matter how many hobbies you have. As living organisms our biological purpose is to continue life, and living only for yourself contradicts that. It's nihilistic, pointless science in the end, but it's what we got. You will feel it.

The fact that you considered right and wrong probably means you aren't

>>738492269
That's the best answer in the whole tread. Really thanks, man.

>>738490948
well the logical thing would be to start keeping track of all the immoral things you do, figure out how they hurt people, connect them (because they all are connected I guarantee it) and come up with a plan to do better.

You can't go back, don't think that way. This is what you've become, and you need to become something else. You'll never change completely, but you can learn to do things differently.

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>>738489985
Not a psychopath, but I think I'd have no problem killing people if I had to (meaning for survival purposes).

I haven't had a normal dream in decades. It's all nightmares for me. I even had a nightmare within a nightmare a week ago.

I have no imbalance, but life has made me one cold apathetic motherfucker and I would do things now that I'd never consider at one time.

>>738492800
saying and acting are two very different things, I also used to think killing someone would be no problem for me, but it's harder than you think

>>738492205
I'm not disagreeing with you, >>738490845 you're completely right, I'm just saying there's more to it. Life's to short and harsh to be selfish.

>>738492982
Yeah, I'm aware of the difference, but I've been shooting pigeons, squirrels, and rats in my yard, and I'm an animal lover. Five years ago if anyone would have told me I'd be doing that shit, I would have denied it vigorously.

Come to think of it, once when I was a kid, there was this girl I hated and we happened to be swimming once at a local beach. We were out pretty far and I noticed she was having difficulty keeping her head above the water and was swallowing water and shit. I swam right past her towards the short without giving a single shit.

>>738492800
I'd like to know how you got like this, that is if you're not just seeing life through the lens of some mental illness

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I know I am, I love it tho

The only reason crazy people are crazy is because we say they are.
Who to say that the crazy people aren't sane and the masses are just suffering from mass psychosis?

You might think pulling down your pants and shitting on the streets is crazy but isn't it more crazy to keep it in and be uncomfortable whilst scrambling to find a filthy public bathroom?

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>>738489985
>Protip
If you're ever high and start thinking of shitty stuff like this or like you want to die etc. there's a really simple solution to fix it. You just have to change your environment (aka change rooms you're in or train cars, etc.)
It works in the same way that sometimes you forget what you went into a room for. Your brain gets tricked and forgets what you were doing/thinking about when you change settings and when you're high it works almost 100% of the time because your brain is easier to trick.
Hope I helped someone. Really good advise to remember. My roommate in college taught me it and it's helped me when freaking out while I'm high so many times!

>>738490486
no

>>738490845
Chris?

>>738493574
not if you like being part of society. You're scraping the bottom of the barrel with that crap, can you seriously not see the importance of being a functional person?

>>738493792
I'm chris, but I didn't write that. Who you?

>>738490550
you are a waste of breath, thats not insane its disgusting and makes those with actual mental health look bad you sick fuck, seriously just swallow the fucking barrel and blow your brains out, killing people in defense is alright hell even killing people for a living is alright so long as you dont find the death itself enjoyable in a sick manner, and then killing innocent animals for fun is just wrong so end your pathetic existence

>>738493828
It was just an example, you don't know whether or not you are insane because insane people think that what they are doing is sane.
If what we are seeing as insane was the norm then the sane people would be seen as insane by the masses.

>>738493915
Chris from Massachusetts?

>>738491462
because if you want a rush join the military shit face, at least then your helping your nation and doing it under a legal context while supporting an establishment rather than just being a worthless piece of shit nigger

>>738491553
fuck you dont insult our officers by comparing them to this walking pile of shit

>>738493391
You get older, anon. And it hasn't been a terrible life, but it also hasn't been particularly amazing. I was told I was ugly enough times in grade school that I didn't bother approaching girls in high school. Father was bipolar, mother was alcoholic. I fantasized about blowing my father's head off with a shotgun very often when I was 13/14 because he wasn't supposed to be coming around and when he did, it was a major disruption in an already shitty life with a single mother on welfare raising 2 kids.

Low self esteem coupled with a face that nobody wants to look at does a number on an anon. Not that I didn't have my chances with women, I just get treated differently not only by women but by men also. I always get cues that I'm boring people if spending more than 20 minutes with them and have a feeling that I'm mostly being tolerated by people.

I'm disgruntled and disenfranchised. I feel as though I have no connection to anyone where I live, having reached 54 years of age with no gf, no kids, and no desire to date women. Imagine being 50+ and getting maybe 2 calls on your birthday. Imagine it.

My expectations are low. So low, that I have little to no desire to accomplish anything anymore. I had a job interview on the phone recently and I can feel myself faking it with them even though I really want the job and the specter of it is the only thing in maybe 10 years that has made me stop thinking about suicide.

My hope is to start over in a different city where I'll try to fit in to a community and be as normal as I can manage.

>>738492205
for once someone mentions nihilism without sounding like a complete edgy retard, good job representing the brotherhood anon

>>738494198
nah nigger, I'm Irish and I'll do what I want

>>738493574
>The only reason crazy people are crazy is because we say they are.

Years ago, I was having lunch with my mother in a restaurant and there was a well known local loon out front talking to himself. My mother says "Oh that guy. He thinks he's talking to god."

I said, "How do you know he's not?"

All she could do was shake her head at me, hahaha, because she knew I was serious.

"Crazy" is just not matching the behavior of the community around you.

>>738492743
the thing isnt about good or bad, there is no good or bad there are always reasons nothing is either way...ones intention is what defines them and their reason is what makes them either a responsible worthwhile human or worthless trash, killing someone in of itself isnt bad so long as your reason is sincere and justified

I feel like I have something wrong with me and I've been trying to figure out what it is for the last couple years. I have some schizoid tendencies and some sociopathic behaviour but neither enough to be labelled as either.

I have extreme trouble 'connecting' with people and can't conversate for shit. If I want to do something I obsess over it to where it consumes my whole mind. Also have some ocd behaviours like if something touches my right arm I have to touch it to my left too or I feel off for indefinite amounts of time

Am I autistic? Aspergers? I have no friends and NEET so I know I'm not normal

>>738492800
you sound edgy, everyone who isnt a moral fag accepts this and understands what theyd do, as for your nightmares obviously you have something bothering you so deal with the problem

>>738493574
gr8 b8 m8. i r8 8/8

Sure, I do.
Like, not a psychopath nor really insane, I sometimes just overreact in the eyes of others. Thats why I dont drive, for example.
If anyone on the street would do something clearly illegal and I would have the chance to push him from the street while he goes 120-130mph, I would do it without thinking about it. Fuck humans.

But beside these small things im fine.

>>738494024
yeah, but there's a reasonable scientific basis for defining sane and insane, and true perception of reality vs a delusional one.

You're right, but it's kind of a moot point and a hypothetical concept that we're pretty sure is false, thought you can't disprove it.

Everyone in society might be wrong about something and they don't listen to the one person who knows the truth, but I don't think that's the same thing.

>>738489985
The first thing every single human being ever born needs to do to become a better person is to realize that you have nearly limitless potential to behave with cruelty, to exploit and abuse, and to bring harm to everything around you. Humans are incredibly aggressive animals with a pretty fundamentally destructive streak.

We're also flexible and trainable however. Once you've acknowleded these traits you can start to focus this energy into productive avenues. You can become more deliberate and think actively about how your actions will impact those around you. Just spending a few seconds thinking about the results of your actions will pretty much change your entire life. So long as you can empathize with other creatures that is. If you can't then you actually are a piece of shit.

>>738493391
this is common for people who hevent lived a sheltered life and most people just accept it and move on beause its natural and if you focus on other things it doesnt hurt so much

>>738494039
no

>Reflected on my actions and feel
>and feel
>feel

Nope you're not a psychopath

>>738494551
You should see a therapist and try to get diagnosed.

Some imbalances are manageable with therapy and/or meds and even with diet.

>>738493574
yes what your describing is what is refered to as socialized madness, it pretty much goes that crazy is acting against your natural instincts and ones base desires, so to follow protocol or social norms is in of itself the very definition of insanity, however at the same time you realize that rationality and understanding also define sanity so in that sense savagery which is naturally barbaric and depraved of understanding is the peal of insanity aside from lying to oneself

>>738490486
you sound like every aspie ever

>>738489985
not insane but one time i thought i was retarded and i was right

>>738494267
you know insanity is thinking your stuck in the life your living instead of realizing the world is an open platform, you can do anything you want and anything within the bounds of reason is possible, if you dont like it fix it, moping about issues that are easy to fix such as your situation are worthless measures, but if you were to go out of your way to change yourself and create a new personality depending on who your with nothing could truly damage you unless those pesky things called feeligns get in the way, and the easiest solution to that if you want to avoid pain is to avoid getting close as well or put on a false persona so you know this person doesnt even like you but rather the person you put on

Im just defective,
People are trying turn me schizoeffective
Now im both crazy AND homicidal.

>>738494912
I did try that and she thinks I have 'Mild depression'

No hoe pretty much half the world has mild depression but they still manage to function in society. I don't see other depressed people having to use the Internet as their only form of social contact.

I dunno why but I've always just seemed to think differently to others. It has never benefitted me outside of academia. I don't believe in religion either and was born into an extremely religious family. I decided that I'd probably die by my own hands when I was pretty young teenager. I have no reason to live past 50 because by that time my parents will be dead and nobody else knows me they just know I exist.

It's shit living like this. I have to ask for instruction on how to perform basic social interaction and I need precise step by step guidance with every contingency planned out before I feel like I can speak with strangers. It's as if I'm selectively retarded because I have no problem passing exams and remembering information but I can't think and be aware enough to function in real time. Hence my Internet dependence.

>>738494385
ye my family came from scot/ireland and what did we do with ourselves? we worked hard to make an honest representation, we may not have always done what was expected but we showed respect when it was earned and didnt cause trouble for others who didnt try to provoke us...honest work and honor are what holds a true man above the filth and even if you do questionable things so long as you can say you didnt dishonor what you love and did it to your best without causing unnecesary trouble for others and maybe even going out of your way to make others lives a bit easier you will fear no evil or demise

>>738494448
reasonable response anon *claps proudly*

>>738494551
those are just titles you are what you are just do what feels right and live by your values for what you love and nothing else matters

>>738495296
>you can do anything you want and anything within the bounds of reason is possible

But I no longer want to "do anything." I spent most of January binge watching every episode of Entourage. I've been in rock bands, rode motorcycles, jumped out of a plane, been on boats, scuba, been to Europe, worked with celebrities, made a lot of money, but I just don't give a fuck anymore.

The payoff for being excellent just isn't there, especially when I see people with 1/2 my talent and abilities thriving because they happen to be nice looking. The most I hope for now is to outlast all the people I hate and not shit the bed like I know they're going to.

>>738494623
thats just someone with strong convictions and impule control nothing to fret over

>>738494659
or you could be a rational pessimist and understand that we are perceiving everything through a flawed system and all of your memories and sensations could just be an illusion so nothing is possibly real and you have to accept the fact that everything you see even if we assume it is happening is all being tainted by your minds defense mechanisms and perception so you will never ever see anything as it truly is and are living in a fantasy that you have been building around yourself since birth

>>738494703
once again good response anon

>>738495381
True, every-fucking-body has at the very least "mild depression." That's a bullshit diagnosis.

My "plan" has been, for as long as I can remember, to take myself out as soon as the world has no use for me. I can function socially and make small talk with anyone, but I got to the point where I just couldn't take the predictable routine of it all. It's as if we're all just biological robots with very basic programming and that's it.

Have you seen "The Accountant?" You might appreciate it.

>>738495381
ye no dont trust psyches theyre just working for a paycheck and are often disgruntled they dont want whats best for you and will only delude you further

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>>738489985
I think about that everyday, usually followed by a cackling laugh.

>>738495763
then you havent tried it yet, go workout, go to a dojo or some other sports club get yourself involved in something or heaven forbid join something that will get you a new life like i dunno the military *shameless propaganda* there are always other options so if you dont like it and feel stuck just start as someone else

I am a sociopath. I feel feelings and form attachments to those I deem worthy but I have no problem lashing out and can advocate the most horrible violence on people I do not consider my friends. I love my daughter and cat but beyond that I am happy to drop most people at the drop of a hat. I saw my own mother die and was more annoyed than anything and was over it within a day whereas my siblings are still messed up over it 5 years later.

>>738489985
Insane, no. Psychopath, maybe sometimes. Sociopath, definitely. What have you done that is so bad OP? Hurting people? its a wash. People are mostly scum and their lives have no value. The prequel is unequal! ;)

>>738496272
I plan on doing just that IF I get the job I'm trying to get because I'm emotionally done with the city I live in now and the people in it.

If I don't get the job, not sure what I'll do because I hate it here and can't see living here past summer.

>>738496759
CONT:

I even looked into the peace corps until I saw pictures of the people who join up. They all look like betas and cat ladies. Still, it's an option.

>>738490486
Nah that's normal, bro. People are mostly garbage.
>>738490550
You're a faggot, I love finding people like you irl. I get a better thrill than you can imagine. :)
That being said cats don't belong outside, so have at it.
>>738490581
Lies, you are thinking about it right now, dipshit.
>>738490671
Going where? death? there is no god or afterlife, enjoy being inert carbon.

>>738496109
I will watch it soon thanks for the recommendation.

I can perform exchanges of greetings but anything further is too difficult for me. I can't get to know people. I see groups of people on the street laughing and joking and I can't understand how they can sense each others personalities so well that they can do that. I interact like a robot like you said with just predictable shit but I feel like real friends go further somehow.

I am happy the world has become digitised because it helps me interact eith other minds but without the hassle of body language, speech, eye contact etc. but I want to leave my country because it's an authoritarian shit hole that sees the Internet as an enemy. In 20 years I bet you'll need a government account to watch only the government approved porn or something insane like that. Fuck the UK.

If they take my Internet then they take my life. I Google everything I need to know. Hopefully it never comes to that point but if it does then I'm going to give life 1 more chance and if I don't change drastically I'll throw myself off a cliff

>>738494267
fuck man. I can understand, but I've nowhere near experienced that much shittiness. I've at least got plenty of family in my life still that I care about, though lot's have become estranged.

The part about people being bored by you struck a chord. What I understand is most people have enough going on that they don't mind blowing off a person who they don't care about, though they don't dislike you. In their minds you are like them and will have other people to talk to, so it doesn't matter. But if you are always that other person that no one cares about you end up basically ostracized.

I was at the grocery and there was this toothless old lady in a motorized wheelchair at the smorgasbord. She couldn't read the labels so she asked me to. I felt sorry for her, I know how lonely most elderly are, so I made small talk and helped her pick food. Eventually I was just standing there waiting for a request and she said "thanks, you can go now" and I realized I had made her feel unwanted. There was nothing to say, I did want to leave, and it didn't bother me that much. But it stuck with me, how not even trying to be nice to her would improve her situation or make her happy, unless I was willing to become a part of her life (obviously I wasn't), and I wondered what the point of the friendly gesture even was. It made me realize how social structure basically gives our lives meaning, and falling by the wayside is one of the worst things that can happen to you.

>>738494356
Thanks.

>>738494485
I agree. I like to think of far reaching consequences though, in this increasingly scary and interconnected world.

>>738490988
Nah. I think you're faking or exagerating, but even if you're being honest you shouldn't. There are no moral consequences in this life. Just try to hurt people less, look out for your own wellbeing. There are more dangerous people than you out there. :)
>>738495763
You just aren't very talented or you aren't trying life the right way.

>>738497033
>I can't get to know people. I see groups of people on the street laughing and joking and I can't understand how they can sense each others personalities so well that they can do that.

Yeah, you should watch that movie and maybe watch the first few episodes of Dexter. You might be a "high functioning autist." Or, just socially awkward if that's a thing. Not being able to connect with people is death. It really is. I tend to dislike people in general, but then, I'm miserable because I'm alone.

I never felt like I was ever able to truly connect with people. Women always seemed to last maybe a few months and they were gone. I have one close ish friend I talk to but she drives me nuts because we're not exactly compatible.

There ARE people like you out there, but that's not what you should seek out. If you were studly looking, there'd be all kinds of ladies willing to overlook your awkwardness and help you fit in.

I don't know about other people but I feel powerless in life and I think i deal with that by wanting to kill people. For me personally, I like to think about imposing that feeling of powerlessness onto other people by strapping someone to a chair and then to peel their face with a knife whilst they scream for me to stop. And I think most non psychopath types who want to kill feel the same way.

>>738497308
>social structure basically gives our lives meaning, and falling by the wayside is one of the worst things that can happen to you.

That's pretty much it. When I started thinking regularly about suicide, I started distancing myself from people to the point that now, I have semi regular contact (phone and text, mostly) with maybe 3 people.

I decided to look for a staff position and the possibility that a company would want to hire me gives me some hope. I guess not feeling wanted really fucked my head up. If they hire me, everything changes for me.

Old people man, they have it bad. My mother had to live in a facility and I'd visit and see these people in there with no visitors ever. I see these old people at the checkout at stores and you can tell they're desperate for a connection because they more often than not try to carry on conversations with the register clerks.

You can get used to being alone, but I don't think anyone likes being alone.

>>738498118
Ya you probably are powerless. You will be even less so when you are caged in a prison for an extended or lifelong sentence. Blame your parents, not strangers.

>>738495945
I think that can only go so far. Our senses don't delude us as far as we know. I know there are weird cases like people who see sound but again we understand why that is. What you're describing is basically a conspiracy theory.

>>738491366
What happened as a kid?

>>738498491
Here's the thing though, anybody can feel like this. It only takes improper coping strategies in early development. That's it. For most people it's because of some sort of abuse but anyone can develop like that. I think a good case study for this would be most school shooters. Columbine was done by two kids who developed bad coping strategies to bullying(or powerlessness) or Elliot Rodgers to rejection(or again powerlessness).

>>738499397
Okay, so anybody can feel like this. I suppose you are saying you think their parents have no blame because one of their moms has been reactive and done a ted talk? Fuck that miserable cunt. She is partly to blame. I love how she said something along the lines of "we were great parents to him" and then later said "when he was a newborn I had a bad feel/omen about him". Fuck superstitious people and the terrible life they spawn.

>>738490486
No, Anon. I am this way as well.

>>738499880
I ain't disagreeing with ya there. Parents can be to blame and I'm she she was. I'm pretty sure he had meds to curb his murderous feeling and didn't take them. I know if my child was on those meds I would make sure he was taking them.

Decisions, decisions...why do i keep making them??

>>738489985

> Reflected on my actions and feel like I've done bad stuff. I might be a prequel to a horrible person.

this isn't something a psychopath usually does, they don't really show remorse very often. However you could still be a psychopath, especially after you felt bad about those things for a few moments but then went back to; "nah, i don't give a fuck"

I am extremely sensitive and empathetic, pretty much the opposite extreme and have been that way since I was a kid. I'm not proud of it, in fact, I think it has completely ruined my life since my emotions are too easily swayed by stuff. I've tried desensitizing myself to bad shit but it just made things worse as it now feels like I have two opposite mindsets that "fight for control" if that makes sense.
For example, one moment I'll be grinning at niggers executing each other on liveleak and then later feel really disgusted by myself and upset.

I literally feel like that meme with that edgy kid saying he has two sides; nicest guy you'll ever meet and twisted psychopath, except unironically and real. Not sure what the fuck is wrong with my brain lads, but it's worrying.

Nah I'm just a degenerate and get a kick out of doing degenerate shit

>>738490820
psychopath is a broad term for all psychological disorders. sociopaths dont have empathy.

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>>738498480
I can spell stuff out like a textbook, but you make it sound like poetry. Maybe you should try writing.

Things could get better. I know you won't get your hopes up. More and more people these days end up old and alone, the days of large families are over, and family really is the only thing that is forever. It's funny how I find myself repeating all the sentimental crap I hated hearing from my dad before I stopped talking to him.

I've got a random thought you might like. Every living thing on earth right now has a direct genetic link to the first living organism, some 4 billion years ago.

Your family line literally goes back 4 billion years. Life might be pointless, but I think that's pretty cool.

>>738500509
Don't worry about it man. You're not a "bad person". There are no bad people, just bad decisions. You could be a lot worse. I used to care so much about everything and everyone. Since losing my love I have found myself unencumbered by these useless feelings of empathy. Xanax helps with emotional pain tremendously. It's best to just focus on your own wealth and wellbeing. Use humans as the cattle they are to prosper.

>>738500583
Can you be a sociopath if you only feel empathy sometimes? I think i'm a sociopath based on some of the things I have done, but I also have experienced empathy. I feel less empathy than ever and am successfully transforming into the emotionless brute I need to be to survive.

>>738500509
you're looking at it all wrong. Desensitizing isn't going to help you, understanding your emotions and learning to control them is important. You enjoy watching fucked up shit on the internet. Everyone does, you don't need to feel bad about it. People aren't outspoken about how messy human nature is, you'll go crazy if you don't learn to indulge in non-destructive ways. Don't let guilt control your life, understand why you feel the way you do. Look at the reason, not the emotion itself. That's why I hate hippies that say hunting is evil, it's better than killing people. Some people need that visceral thrill.

>>738501588
I was with you until you said "need that visceral thrill". Nobody "needs" it. In fact hunters are usually less violent towards people. I'm all for hunting if that's your thing, but don't rationalize it like it's your way of avoiding being a serial killer. These things are opposites.

>>738501187
I don't think you know what you are talking about, but then again I don't know you. You can act like a sociopath without being one. It's like the scientists at unit 731 in WWII Japan. They said killing a person the first time wracked their conscience, but after a while it was like squashing bugs.

>>738490820
Thanks. That's very reassuring.

>>738501876
I meant it as an example, I didn't mean all hunters are warding off psychopathic tendencies. Poor wording on my part. When I said "visceral thrill" in didn't mean in lieu of killing people for fun, I meant they both serve a similar purpose. I agree we don't all need it, but for some people it prevents them from going over the brink.

My point was you need to keep things in perspective and not judge yourself or others too harshly.

>>738489985
Rawr???? x3?? nuzzles how are you???? pounces on you?? you're?? so?? warm???? o3o?? notices?? you have a bulge?? o:???? someone's happy?? ;)???? nuzzles your necky wecky????~ murr~ hehehe?? rubbies???? your bulgy?? wolgy you're?? so big???? :oooo rubbies???? more on your bulgy?? wolgy it?? doesn't stop?? growing ·///· ??kisses???? you?? and lickies???????? your necky?? daddy???? likies ??(;???? nuzzles?? wuzzles I?? hope???? daddy?? really likes?????? $: wiggles butt?? and squirms I?? want?? to see???????? your?? big?? daddy???? meat????~ wiggles butt?? I?? have?? a little?? itch o3o?? wags?? tail can you?? please get my itch??~ puts paws?? on your?? chest nyea??~ its a seven7?? inch???? itch?? rubs???? your chest can you help?? me?? pwease?????????? squirms pwetty pwease?????????? sad face???????? I?????? need to2?? be?? punished?? runs paws?? down?????? your?? chest and bites lip???? like I???? need?? to2?? be?? punished really good??????~ ?? on your bulge?? as I?? lick?? my lips???? I'm???? getting thirsty??????. I???? can?? go?? for4?? some?? milk?????? unbuttons?? your pants?? as my eyes?????? glow?? you?? smell so musky?? :v?? licks shaft?? mmmm??~ so musky?? drools?? all over your cock?????? your?? daddy???????? meat?? I?? like?????? fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls???? hehe?? puts snout?? on balls?????????????????? and inhales deeply??????? oh?? god?? im so hard??~ licks balls?????????????????? punish me?? daddy??????~ nyea~?? squirms ??more and wiggles butt?? I love???? your musky?? goodness???? bites lip???? please?? punish???? me?? licks?????? lips nyea~?? suckles on your tip???? so good???? licks???????? pre of your cock?? salty?? goodness??????~ eyes role back?? and goes balls deep?? ??mmmm~ moans?? and suckles??

>>738489985

dude if you have a picture like that you're okay

>>738500623
>you make it sound like poetry. Maybe you should try writing.

Thanks. I wouldn't even know where to start with that but it interests me.

>Your family line literally goes back 4 billion years. Life might be pointless, but I think that's pretty cool.

Hehe, yeah, that is pretty cool. I got a DNA workup that shows I came from the same gene group as Napoleon, and Marie Antoinette.

Sometimes I just go on a train of thought so horrible I think this is how every serial murderer felt before they did something crazy.

>>738502079
What about what I said makes you defensively say I don't know what I'm talking about? I asked a question about being a sociopath, meaning I do not claim to understand the definition of a sociopath. I have done things to others without consideration of how it will destroy them emotionally, even recently. I still don't care about the people I did wrong to in most of these scenarios. That being said I like some animals and I felt bad for my friend when he got hospitalized.
>>738502816
This seems impossible unless there is some way I can completely restructure my personality. I judge everyone harshly, myself the worst.

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I am just score very high on narcissistic personality disorder

Its like being a psychopath without all the shitty things

>>738503604
Most people are narcissistic, it's not a disorder. Sometimes I feel like a god. I can take or make life at my will, or I can restructure the lives of others for the worse or better. I know intuitively there are no gods or a single god, but in moments I feel like I am all that matters and will ever matter. Rage is one hell of a thing though, I'm glad I've been able to avoid that for almost a year.

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>>738504333
I mean, narcissism is a trait in everyone. As is psychopathy. The difference is the level you have

Mine is pretty well off the scales. I am incapable of caring for anyone/anything other than myself.

>>738489985
yeah, but I'm not a psychopath. I'm not even sure I'm a bad person. I'm just really good at compartmentalizing shit so doing things in the moment seems fine even if objectively its not.

>>738503591
>I feel less empathy than ever and am successfully transforming into the emotionless brute I need to be to survive.
That is the line I was referring to. I'm not sure how serious that statement was but if it was I have to question your logic. You said you are burdened by guilt and can't get over it but on the other hand believe becoming a harsher person is the right path. I don't think you are a sociopath but I also don't think you've done much OBJECTIVE self examining, and I don't think you understand your own emotions. You need to do that before you start deciding what actions you should take. Maybe becoming a stone cold sociopath would make you happier, but I obviously don't approve of that.

Judging people without understanding them is a logical fallacy. If you irrationally judge people you just need to catch yourself and ask yourself some basic questions and be aware what assumptions you're making.

Learning to control this stuff is a skill you develop, you won't be good at it immediately.

>>738504685
Nah you're fine. I think its a waste of energy to care about others, you will only be encumbered by such feelings. Also psychopathy is not a trait in everyone. I have done things that other people cringe at and honestly can say they have and would never feel those feelings or inclinations.
>>738504949
Normal AF.

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>>738505361
I think the point I am trying to get across is that I don't have feelings.

I am a cerebral narcissist. Diagnosed and all

>>738505312
I meant I have felt empathy for bigger issues like climate change, nuclear proliferation, and the horrible things people do to each other. On a personal level I generally feel little to no remorse for the injustices I have done.
Becoming a '"stone cold sociopath" seems to be helping me get ahead. I feel less to no anxiety.
The thing is I think I do understand them, I just see it as impossible to help others in a meaningful way.

>>738505596
it's very obvious.

>>738505596
Good for you. Feelings are an evolutionary mistake. If I never had feelings I wouldn't have wasted over 5 years of my life loving a stupid worthless female.

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>>738505883
This is why I don't stay around people for too long. Once they catch on, they aren't useful

>>738505961
At least you could care for a person. It baffles me how anyone could care for someone else. I have tried really hard to no avail

>>738506200
Caring only held me back and worsened my health. It's only corny movies that have lead you to believe there is some value in being empathetic. I would have done LITERALLY anything for her, even if it were at risk of death or imprisonment. It is not a feeling of power, but quite the opposite. I felt powerful in my capacity for destruction, but out of control in my moments of rage. Rage is the most intoxicated thing I have experienced other than love.

>>738506200
You're probably just ugly

>>738505846
well, you seem to be decided on your path. I don't know what actions you have taken already, but there's profit in preying on people. I think you might just have poor emotional control and you don't fight the urge to hurt people, and for some reason those are the emotions you feel the most right now.

I would say you are real sociopath if you are willing to infiltrate people's lives and abuse them over a long period of time for your own gain. If you can't live with that but just like raging at strangers to blow off steam I'd say your an average asshole but I can live with that.

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>>738506593
I am pretty average but I make a lot of money.

I play this game where I go on various dating apps and get women to go on a date and then come back to fuck at my place. Once I get them basically with their clothes off, I send them back to their home.

I do it just to prove that I could to myself

>>738494385

Pikey cunt - off yourself you fucking worthless Gypsy shit cunt

>>738506654
Of course I fight the urge to hurt people, you sound like the presumptuous asshole here. I have never infiltrated peoples lives over a long period of time for my own gain. I've rarely raged at strangers, but the few times I did I thought it was more out of control than being intoxicated with alcohol by far.
Not an average asshole. Usually very kind to others, but when I am mean or rude I am ruthless.

>>738493939
Define "as a living." Like a military guy or some kind of agent? Or like a random hitman that kills for cash.

I know that a lot of people might not see a huge difference in those types of people. But i think the only way its acceptable to kill someone is if you know theyre 100% guilty theyre guilty of a henious crime, or they're on the other end of a battle field shooting at you

>>738490671
>up my dose of lithium
What are you a fucking iphone

>>738507475
lol that's a good one.

>>738489985
I'm a sociopath, its nothing like the romanticized version you are imagining.

I just feel empty at all times, while being constantly aware of what I should be feeling and unable to feel it.

Its like always being thirsty, but you've only ever heard of water in stories and pictures and never had a drink.

>>738507739
Can you think of a time you've genuinely had an emotion? Or at least thought you did?

>>738507739
I prefer feeling empty now. You don't know how lucky you are. I guess it's impossible to know though since you'll never experience the pains of having emotions.

>>738507147
>Of course I fight the urge to hurt people
you haven't made that obvious. I didn't imply you infiltrate people's lives. Again, it was just an example. You read things in my words that I don't imply and say many contradictory things but sound very assured of yourself. You seem to think with emotions, not logic. Also if you hurt people close to you more than strangers (you keep saying you have hurt many people but you don't rage at strangers so I assume you mean people close to you), then you are a monster and I'm surprised you haven't driven everyone out of your life. Maybe I'm mistaken about what you mean by "hurting" people. Take my advice or leave it, I don't give a frank fuck if it upsets you.

>>738508636
are you the guy who hates everyone because of a bad relationship?

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>>738503165

>>738493739
I do this sober too. When I'm freaking out. I am doing this most of my day tho, which sucks.

>>738508733
I've never physically hurt a friend or family member. I emotionally hurt my ex with my words. I have many close friends and family.
>>738508863
"The guy". One of many I assume, but in this thread, I suppose I am. It was a good relationship until she started taking birth control and antidepressants at the same time. The first three years were fantastic. The last two less were less great, but we still always made passionate love and told each other we loved each other.
I don't hate my friends or family, but ya everyone else has no value to me.

>>738494551
I have the same thing man, if i touch something with one hand I do it with the other. It's only before important stuff though.

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>>738509687
you sound pretty average, so either you're not nearly as bad as you've implied before or you're worse than you're implying right now.

Not good at taking advice, though. Keep on rocking, good night.

>>738510272
I wish I were average. I have done some deplorable things out of rage. My biggest issue in my relationship was overcoming finding a corpse and having a stranger try to break into my place when I was by myself. I also said very hurtful things to my ex because I thought I could be completely honest with her. I told her about every girl that pursued me and gave her full access to my phone when they would message me. Honesty is not synonymous with truth I suppose. As far as being a sociopath goes...Since breaking up with my ex I did something which could definitely be considered sociopath behavior. The goal was to score something I wanted and emotionally hurt an evil bitch. Objective complete. I don't have time to explain everything I've done. Goodnight to you all.

>>738489985
Don't know if psycho or just degenerate. I did evil things to my ex gf and cheated and felt no remorse or guilt... Also I fapped to dead women pictures on that women rekt thread posted two days ago