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ITT: shit you do that you're pretty sure no one else does

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 306
Thread images: 38

ITT: shit you do that you're pretty sure no one else does
>>
>>738314834
That's fucking strange, OP. I fuck my mom's pillow when she's not home
>>
>>738314834

I'm 23 and I still eat my own snot.

I literally bend over to smell my own farts, kinda like southpark.

aaaannnnd... hmmm... idk I bite my nails and run the broken pieces between my teeth to help me think

Anyone?
>>
>>738315494

Oh and I bite my toenails. Although I'm fairly sure SOMEBODY does these things other than me, maybe not all of them but still.
>>
>>738315494
>to help me think
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT
>>
>>738315539
i trim my toe nails with a knife then eat them
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>>738314834
Timestamp

>pic related is some creepy pasta
>>
>>738315652

oh thank god. Somebody else fucked up.
>>
>>738315494
I still do the first and third one, the third one is a habit now but its gotten worse for me. I keep fingernails ive bitten off in my pocket and save them for later to chew/run through teeth in the future.
>>
I will occasionally cum straight into my underwear at night and then fall asleep, but since it's all dry by morning i just keep wearing them.
>>
>>738315823

This is why I post here. I'm home.
>>
>>738314834
I like to cum and wait for it to dry, and crumble it up and put it in my aunt's sugar canister.
>>
I eat my own beard and moustache when is long enough to get in my mouth

I cant sleep without a pillow on my ear
>>
>>738315893
same
>>
I like to come in a cup then microwave it until it evaporates
>>
i turn over multiple times in my sleep, but always in the same direction. i end up immobile, wrapped up in my blanket, but im still asleep. i keep spinning, and first the sheets go off the mattress, then the mattress off the bedframe. i wake up in a cocoon of blankets with all my sheets and my mattress on the floor.
>>
>>738315711
post part 2 please
>>
>>738316927
Then what?
>>
after i take out my contacts i eat them
>>
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At work and at home..when I'm going to take a shit.. I get some TP and squirt hand soap on to it.. then once I've had a shit and wiped..I'll wipe it on my ass, it's super effective at getting your asshole really clean. Highly recommend..at work it's just tricky to do because you don't want to explain why you're squirting hand soap on toilet paper.

It's also messy, because you sit it on the floor during your shit and it soaks through the paper and on to the floor sometimes..soap dependant
>>
papercutting the tip of my erected penis with this shit making my ears bleed.
https://youtu.be/mTcUzv_Iraw
>>
I pick my cat up when I get home and let her ride around on my shoulder like a fuzzy little parrot while I do my shit.
>>
>>738314834
when I was just starting puberty I used to take a couple squares of toilet paper and start fapping in them, then thrusting hard to feel how the paper teared, and imagined I was breaking some girl's hymen. Shit was SO cash. Hell, maybe I'll do one now, for old times sake
>>
I use my wifes g-spot stimulator to stimulate my prostate, makes me cum buckets.
>>
19 and suck my thumb. I have OCD and have to touch everything to my penis before eating.
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>>738320777
check'd
also you better clean that shit really well, unless you wanna give her some urinal infection
>>
>cum keep foreskin closed
>waggle to toilet and drop it in the toilet
Jelly cut faggots

Also.. This is probably the worst thing I do
>go to store far away from my house
>go there to actually shop
>pretend I don't have good eye sight and can't hear very well
>have store owners sympathetic and shit towards me
>either get helped the best way possible, or a discount because I'm so fragile

Doing it for years, it's not something I'm proud of but can't stop
>>
>>738316209
I do that first one when I grow my hair for the winter
>>
>>738316962
Lol, nice
>>
>>738320000
check'd
>>
When I'm struggling to drop a shit, or it burns I rub my legs, face, and knees like a retard
>>
>>738320915
Kek holy shit anon
>>
>>738320659
i have a parrot cat as well, mostly just when sitting
>>
I squat on top of the toilet seat to take a shit. I also like to rub money on my balls before spending it.
>>
>>738320659
>>738321589
Are your cats tiny or are you big guys? My cat is an adult and he's too big to comfortably sit on my shoulder let alone walk around and do shit
>>
>>738320000
everybody does this dude

except I don't "soak" it I just barely wet it and hold it if I'm in public in the stall of course nobody sees me do it though
>>
>>738321926
nah, all normal size here
>>
>>738315652
this
>>
I barked out a loaf recently and wish that I'd had a slow-moving conveyor belt under it so that I could have measured the length. I am convinced it would have exceeded a metre. I was still glowing with pleasure the next morning.
>>
>>738320915
fucking kek at the store thing

and the cum thing is probably bad for your junk dude
>>
>>738321750
>I also like to rub money on my balls before spending it.

nice way to get diseases
>>
>>738320724
i think you should /b/ro. nostalgia faps are the best faps
>>
>>738314834
Genius.
I realise now life can get better.
>>
>>738314834
Bloody Christ....
>>
>>738315652
I skip the knife and just bite them off. My favorite is the big toenail because I can play with it in my teeth until it gets nice and soft.
>>
Being a disabled veteran
>Pull disabled vet card at any chance I get
>I don't shower for weeks and run my finger along my asshole and sniff it hard.
>pick my nose
>I relax with my hand down my pants, with my hand on my dick and balls all the time.
>I cut pieces of hard skin off and chew on it
>cut myself and actually mean it about hating myself
>tell myself i'm going to fix something and don't do it ever
>suck cock.
>>
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>>738314834
I scratch between my leg and my nuts and smell the nutty goodness....................
>>
>>738322343
I do that with both my finger and toe nails but I'll save them in my upper lip and bite them every so often if I don't wanna eat them
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>>738322430
I do that too. But I don't shower and wait til it's nice and sweaty.
>>
I shit naked
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>>738314834
Feel openings in my head with stuff coming out of them
> pic related
>>
I AM GOD!
>>
Make that weird throat sound when you you have that itch between your ear and mouth.

But over the years I have come to find a hell of a lot of other people do that too
>>
>>738314834
But but how do you pee OP? you leave a lil hole for your pee? I NEED ANSWERS
>>
I usually hallucinate when I wake up and I'm not sure why
>>
When i shit my cat jumpa into my pants
i like it and cat is comfy
>>
i eat pizza and potatoes to give me a good solid turd

then after about a week of building up a good solid turd i will invite over a pretty girl

as soon as she gets in the door i guzzle down a 2 liter bottle of coke

after about a half hour it works it's way into my tummy and carbonates my turd

about a half hour later i have the pretty girl sit in a squat position by me

then i unleash that motherfucker from inside me all over her

she looks like a cartoon in an explosion

you know how they are dark all over but the eyes are white and *blink blink*

it is a good time yes!

protip: don't eat curry, curry don't make a good turd for you to carbonate!
>>
If I'm bored and on my own sometimes I use my child like imagination and pretend I'm in some sort of situation, I will play different 'characters' and everything.

With few exceptions I only fap sitting on the floor outside the shower when it's running, I have to be sitting on the mat and a Towel and in my dressing gown.

I like to run a bath, then as it's running, lie on the floor or sit on the chair and go to sleep, the noise of the water makes me tired.
>>
>>738323132
>If I'm bored and on my own sometimes I use my child like imagination and pretend I'm in some sort of situation, I will play different 'characters' and everything.

multiple personality disorder
>>
>>738323217
Or having an imagination and being bored?
>>
>>738323132
Just remembered one as I literally just got one as I finished last post.
When I get a nose bleed I like to go to the bathroom and let it drip everywhere, fill the sink and toilet, get it on the floor. Then rub it all over my face and shout someone in shouting for help and make it look like it's some major Injury, then laugh about it when they panic
>>
I always imagine someone i know is "watching" what i do with music and shit. Like sitting alone outside in the rain with some sad music playing, ill imagine my ex gf will just look into my life through her thoughts and see me idk its super complex and strange ive been doing it for years and i seriously enjoy doing it. Anyone else??
>>
>>738323103

lol wtf man?

that is awesome, but really fucked up!
>>
>>738315494
holy shit i do this with my nails
>>
Fucking losers.
>>
>>738322624
Sick fuck
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>>738322280
Never had any problems so far and I've been doing it for years.
>>
>>738323362
Like every "just girly things" post ever
Kys normie
>>
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don't think this is too far out there but i take a shower after literally every time i shit, and also just take them if im feeling too hot/cold. this results in like 3-4 showers a day lasting anywhere fromm 20-40 minuets each. any of you do something similar?
>>
when i smoked i would rub my dick onto a few of the cigarettes and carry two packs around, so if anyone bummed a smoke id give them those ones
>>
>>738318438
Then I go on living my life
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>>738321308
me also
>>
>>738320724
I'm gona try that
>>
>put finger in butthole
>smell it
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>>738324127
yeah mate, all the time. If i shit, i shower. my boss knows this so i just go home if i want.
>>
>>738321308
same
>>
>>738322421
suck my cock anon
>>
I lift my legs when im about to cum and i keep beating my meat so i orgasm without ejaculating
>>
>>738322976
that sounds dope
>>
>>738325031
it's not dope, they're nightmares
>>
>>738324876
ohh damn, thats pretty cool of him. i mean at this point i think its like an ocd thing, for me at least
>>
>>738324165
kek'd
>>
>>738322976
Sleep paralysis I guess. If it happens regularly and you don't like it, see a doctor. It's not harmful though.
>>
>>738325026
does that work?
>>
>>738325095
you are scared even if you know that its not real?
>>
>>738322976
I occasionally hallucinate when I wake up in the middle of the night really tired. I usually see things like a figure in the corner of the room or a floating shape near the ceiling. Wakes me up pretty good.
>>
After I take a shower I fart in a towel then smell it
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>>738325413
Have done the same, more often recently
>>
>>738325380
Obviously it's an hallucination
>>
>>738325344
It's actually not really about lifting the legs. If you tense your PC muscle duringnorgasm you don't ejaculate. If you're wondering, that's the muscle you use to press out the last drops of piss.
>>
>>738325380
I don't know it's not real, I'm half asleep
>>738325413
yeah that sounds about right
>>
>>738325413
I've experienced this. Also feeling someone sitting on my back but can't move.
>>
>>738325608
>>738325413
>>738322976
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis
>>
>>738314834
In the car, if I don't occupy my mind with something else, I will count every permanent, stationary man made object I pass mounted on or in the ground in groups of five. Then I'll count each group again in every possible order, so I'll go 12345, 25314, 41352, 14253, etc. until I do every permutation.

This little game has gotten more and more complicated since I was a little kid, these are only the current rules
>>
>>738322220
why is the cum-in-foreskin-until-the-toilet thing is bad?
>>
>>738314834
I wear a diaper in bed. Perforated the diaper in order to insert a hose. At both ends of the hose there are breathing masks. One mask goes in the diaper over my butt hole. Other mask goes on my face.
I fart and fap like this.
>>
>>738325413
Fuck man. The spiders. The shadows. It's fucked up
>>
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>>738325837
>>
I used to piss in a corner of my room whenever I didn't want to go downstairs to the bathroom at night.
>>
>>738325693

Yeah I think this is what it is. I'm lucky and only get it very occasionally.
>>
>>738326254
Lucky you. I've experienced this for up to 40 minutes at a time.
>>
>>738325693
that's not it, I don't get paralysed
>>
>>738326378
The hallucinations and the paralysis are two different phenomena that usually occur at the same time.
>>
>>738314834
That's pretty ingenious, familia, thanks
>>
>>738315893
No clean up, just pull up and roll over.
When masturbating I'll have my phone In my left hand and my right wrist on my dick right under the head, and just rub until close to cumming then jerk the rest out.
>>
>>738326378
The condition is a slight misnomer because paralysis is just another symptom of the same root problem; your brain waking up in stages. You can still have the hallucinations without being physically paralyzed.

I promise that it is almost certainly what is happening to you unless you are literally insane.
>>
>>738326341
It doesn't happen often but it feels like it lasts a long time, how do you know it's 40 minutes?
>>
>>738326709
After a particularly long experience I placed a clock where I could see it when waking up. It doesn't work every time because sometimes I roll over in my sleep but I managed to keep track of time on 3 different occasions. The longest was about 40 minutes.
>>
>>738322098
My cats too much of a dick to actually stay on my shoulders
>>
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>>738320724
>>738324463
same here
>>
i do the same thing in the car only in 4s. but i'll count thru the 4x table as i pass lamposts, houses other cars etc. like 1234 5678 9101112 etc. i'll often find myself psychologically 'tapping' the objects with my knee as i pass them. seriously thought i was the only person who did this.
>>
>>738322976
Jealous
>>
>>738326205
That's gross man, use a bottle
>>
>>738323361
I use to do the same when I got nose bleeds as a kid, not smear it on myself... but let it cover the sink like a crime scene.
>>
>>738320844
That sounds fucking hilarious lmao I just imagine that with bananas u prolly don't eat em xd
>>
When I masturbate, I always just ejaculate into my matress and let it dry.

I often imagine scenarios that literally will not ever happen, and actually act upon them; for example I'd usually find myself quite outraged without being aware of it, in the middle of a conversation, because I zoned out and played a scenario in my head.

I lie a lot, I don't know why, I suppose it's to gain the attention I lacked in my childhood?

I talk to myself vocally a lot. I have full on conversations with myself, which sometimes escalates to yelling and actually punching/torturing myself.

I rarely clean my bedroom and bathroom. I recently did a deep clean of my bedroom and felt satisfied enough to not clean the bathroom. The toilet doesn't flush and I've been using a bucket to dump water in it from the shower to flush.

I often run my fingers through sweaty armpits, smell and taste them. I also often stick my hand in my anus, scratch balls and smell.

I often find myself experiencing L'appel Du Vide, alarmingly often.
>>
>>738324127
One of my ex used to post-shit shower all the time. She'd never shit in public restrooms. Shit at home or my house then run the bath and sit and clean her ass. Always tasted fresh and her puss was always clean and never smelled
>>
>>738327221
forgot to add I feel comfort in ripping out my hair, and also whenever my teeth hurt, I have to bite something solid.
Or when I have a cut somewhere, I must bite it. If I can't bite what's hurting, I must put a lot of pressure on it.
>>
>>738326205
Kek when i was a wee lad I used to do that behind the living room tv
>>
>>738314834
I eat my snot and I just can't stop holy fuck it's annoying af
>>
>>738323027
I had a friend whos cat was fascinated with watching turds go down the toilet.
>>
>>738323429
I keep mine as toothpicks
>>
for a while I enjoyed pulling out my eyelashes, turns out an aunt or something used to do the same
>>
>>738326696
Agreed. The paralysis just happens cause your subconscious wakes before your motor skills and the hallucination is most likely from the chemical balance in your brain from being asleep to waking quickly
>>
>>738314834

When the weather is warm, as it is now, I wet the soles of my feet with water before going to sleep. Having hot, dry feet in bed makes it difficult to sleep.
>>
i go into forests and masturbate, even if im alone at home, both at night and midday
>>
>>738322430
I have done this since I was 11, except it smells more earthy or more like mushrooms = )
>>
>>738327588
also go outside and take a shit once in a while, feels good man
>>
>>738315494
Get a fidget spiner you sick fuck
>>
>>738315652
clip em and chew em
>>
>>738321308
not the face, but the legs/knees yes
>>
>>738322204
My sides
>>
>>738322430
same. its an odd, satisfying smell.
>>
>>738325793
To put it very simply, unless you blow incredibly small loads and i mean very small, then you'll have excess semen flush back where it came from instead of where it's going. Which won't necessarily kill you, but you could face problems later on.

>med fag
>>
>>738322430
It is physically impossible to scratch your nuts without smelling your fingers after. Everybody does this haha.
>>
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when i wake up i look at memes on my phone for about 2 hours. slowly try to awaken my always tired body with a big jug of coffee. then i go on my computer and look at 4chan for a few hours. then i talk to some online "friends" for some times. then i lay in my bed feeling empty and lonely and stare at the ceiling for the rest of the day. then at 00:00 i look at memes till i fall asleep.
But i bet im the only one haha
>>
>>738327773
kys
>>
>>738328033
i play with my balls 24/7 but i dont smell them after because i always shave and wash my balls. they dont stink
>>
>>738314834
I have a place on the second floor and rarely have anyone next door to see me. I go outside with my cell to my ear when chicks are in the parking lot. I am naked from the waist down but can't be seen because of high wooden railings, I then can jerk off to the chicks keeping my arm tucked tight to prevent detection. Blow load, profit.
>>
>>738323362
Me too bruh. I always imagine people watching me and thinking "man this guy is a genius" because of the efficient way I do things.
>>
>>738320915
I cum in my foreskin too. No mess is great.
>>
Who else... whenever they take a shit... if piss is coming out too, they have to push down on their dick so that they don't piss between the seat and the lip of the toilet bowl.
>>
>>738325743
I used to walk on pavement cracks in groups of four, now it is permutations of binary.
0001= walk over, over, over, step on it
1010 step, over, step, over etc
>>
>>738322976
>>738325413
>>738325502
>>738325608
>>738325855

How can you be sure its just hallucinations?
>>
>>738328207
pretty much everyone does this, new fag
>>
>>738314834
I sometimes finger my ass and smell it right after I shower, cus it reminds me of how my girlfriends ass used to smelled like
>>
>>738326205
Haha yes me too. Later I also started to small fires on the floorboards in my bedroom using perfume, deodorant, whatever flammable liquid i could get my hands on. And from time to time I was compelled to hurt/traumatize whatever our family pet was at the time. Shit, I think I might be a serial killer
>>
I have cummed into hundreds of soap dispensers
>>
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>>738328271
really makes you thonk
>>
>>738328368
you mean like shit?
>>
>>738327480
Every time I read about peoples sleep paralysis experiences I think the same thing...

What if it was the figure in the corner of the room that woke you in the first place?

Why is it always a figure in the room with you? Why isn't it some completely random stuff?

Fuck that, I hope I never experience it, I'm sure there is something unexplained happening.
>>
>>738322976

That sounds like you don't get enough oxygen to the brain while you sleep and so you're inducing some sort of hallucination. May be sleep apnea. Might want to get that checked out.
>>
>>738328449
It's not like shit at all, it's more like the smell of skin, with sweat on it, and she used to smell sweet...
>>
>>738328451
some people see random shit it's not always just a figure. most people who genuinely believe they were visited by aliens in the night believe so because of hypnagogic hallucinations
>>
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>>738328515
>>
>>738328435
You mean it could be... g-g-g-g-GHOSTS?!
>>
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>>738328615
>>
>>738328555
I swear the figure in the room is the most common thing by miles though? Maybe its just something hardwired into everyones subconscious.
>>
>>738325026
My legs have been elevated before and I've still came everywhere. I'm confused?
>>
>>738328709
Yeah I think it is
>>
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>>738314834
Go to the gym.

Bunch of dyel faggots.
>>
when I'm dropping a tonne load into the toilet I like to rol up pieces of toilet paper into hard shapes and cover them in my foreskin.

Finding a "guess what's in my foreskin!" thread was revelational
>>
>>738328732
Still makes you think though, what if you're seeing something that is actually there, that is all around us all the time but our conscious brain blanks it out?
>>
>>738326882

I have this problem but theres weird shit involed
>used to happen random times no matter where i slept
>now only happens if i fall asleep in a chair/ in a sitting position
>no hallucinations during, luckily
>found out its actually possible to move during this and can break out of it
>any time i want to sleep in a chair, i make sure my foot is near the edge
>takes all the physical and mental power ive got to shift a leg an inch
>leg slips off chair
>snaps me out of sleep paralysis

weird as shit but if it works it works, i guess the "paralysis" isnt really 100%
>>
>>738327221
I have the same issue of creating scenarios in my mind while driving etc. It's so stupid because I will experience all of the emotions like it is actually happening. I hate it.
>>
>>738328030
>med fag
>don't believe you
>>
>>738320844
Bet that makes for some awkward restaurant meals.
>>
>>738328242
I got twalking patterns as well but only sometimes, it feels awkward at times
>>
>>738326205
Bad doggy
bad
>>
>>738323641
Chances are someone in this thread has touched your nutmoney, anon.
>>
>>738328178
>>738320915
Fucking goyim
>>
>>738328030
>>med fag

You spelled "bullshitter" wrong.
>>
holy fuck check my image
>>
>>738315494
I pick my nails and run them through my fingers. It's a nice sensation, and I can tell from holding the nail how it will feel.

I also invert my ears and let them flick back into position against my index finger. It makes a really loud noise.
>>
>>738328449
No, he means like a guy's cumshot.
>>
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>>738320000
the majority of the world doesn't have this problem.
>>
>>738328431
Definitely kill yourself
>>
>>738328449
Yes
>>
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>>738329450
>>
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>>738315652
Toe knife
>>
>>738314834
Try to move things with my mind...One day it will work
>>
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>>738325837
>>
>>738314834
eat breakfast on toilet to save time in mornings
in summer time, wash feet after get home from work
>>
>>738329706
My ass is so hard tight now.
>>
>>738315494
This is why Muslims need to take over the west
>>
>>738320915
You should do this at a different store but have a friend drive you and pretend to be your brother/caretaker while you act like a tard potato brain in the store
>And then greentext the results
>>
>>738330344
Chek'd
>>
After I scratch the inside of my ear I stick my finger in my mouth
>>
I bite my nails and shove them up behind my teeth causing pain.

I dont wash for a while because I love the smell of dirty cunt.

Touch dirty ass hole and smell finger
>>
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>>738323103
>>
i pee in peoples bathroom sinks like everywhere i go i get excited about peeing in a new sink every new person i meet i pee in thier sink peeing in public sinks is the best but you have to go late at night as to not get caught
>>
>>738324165
Aaaaaaand this is why I don't smoke
>>
>>738320000
just buy diaper wipes
>>
>>738330541
tits or gtfo
>>
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>>738323103

>carbonating the turd
>>
>be me
>skinny white dude with hairy ass
>blackhairwhiteass.jpeg
>butt get chaffed often from friction
>blackhairwhitenredass.jpeg
>need something to put between cheeks for buffer zone
>fold up toilet paper and cram in ass crack
>feels better and skinny ass holds good
>call it my "manpon" cause i heard it on tv before
>occasionally joke around about it but im dead serious

Do it regularly
>>
>>738325837
>>
>>738315893
Degenerate
>>
I slice off the calluss on my feet then suck on and finally eat the skin
>>
>>738321308
Rub your tummy next time
>>
I dreamed about spiders again last night. It's a recurring dream. Not quite nightmare-quality, but unpleasant, as I am sked of spiders.
>>
Peeling my skin off (I have ichthyosis)
>>
>>738330668
That's not how it works faggot
>>
>>738314834
I think about being old and remembering my time spent here on /b/
>>
>>738314834

I'm a bit baffled on the ridicolously tiny size of that penor
>>
>>738314834
Cut fag alert
>>
>>738331393
what
>>
>>738325026
I cross my legs tightly and cum doesnt come out
>>
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I regurgitate food into balls and eat it at the end of the meal. It somehow taste better that way. Maybe 3 to 4 balls each time.
>>
When I feel like pooping, I make sure no one's around and I force myself to keep the poop in because I like the feeling of poop pressing against my prostate I guess.

I've been doing this since I was a kid. I've mastered the art of not getting shitstains on my underwear anymore and I can comfortably sit and walk just fine without anyone noticing.
>>
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>>738330753
I do this too,
I'll think of conversations I had earlier in the day and repeat phrases I said or they said out loud. I've done it in front of people a couple times and i get weird looks.
>>
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>>738331635
>>
>>738320659
You and me anon one and the same
>>
>>738330964
I normally just chew it while it's hard
>>
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>>738325837
>>
When eating canned Ravioli I swallow them whole without chewing. Also I don't heat them. I just crack open the can and swallow them one by one.
>>
>>738327221
>L'appel Du Vide
I recommend stabbing people a little when that happens. It really takes the edge off
>>
>>738332004
I didnt know you could get canned ravioli
>>
>>738332004
Guess you eat straight from the cannoli, huh?
>>
>>738327230
well that's just considerate
>>
>>738323362 Absolutely. I kind of acknowledge the perspective of others seeing me through my own eye.
>>
>>738331674
Feels amazing
>>
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>>738332101
They're in a can with tomato sauce.

>>738332111
Sure. Mainly because I don't own any plates.
>>
>>738331674
Is that what that feeling is...
>>
>>738332221
>>738332222
one off
>>
>>738328414
protip: you have to kill 2-3 people with a rest period in between them to be a serial killer. If you don't rest then you are a mass killer, or a spree killer
>>
>>738331635
that is the most disgusting thing I have ever read
>>
I browse the web, then go to sleep, then wake up, browse the web, then go to sleep, repeat.
>>
when people in my apartment complex go on vacation, I pick the locks on their place at night and go through there things and masturbate on their furniture. If I find sex toys, I always use them without a cleaning them first. Done this at the last 3 places I've lived.
>>
>>738332409
Lurk more
>>
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I go on /b/
>>
>>738332718
I never knew the zucc was such a manlet
>>
I collect bottles of pee in alcohol bottles.
>>
>>738323217
Boy who cried wolf Anon, didn't you learn?
>>
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>>738332893
4got pic
>>
>>738316927
Are you Jewish? Is your name Hitler?
>>
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>>738333176
>>
>>738328271
Dont do this

Pls
>>
>>738333333
>>
>>738315711
Ughh part 2 faggot
>>
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>>738331758
>>738332409
>>
>>738330647
That's the one and only reason you don't smoke?
>>
>>738314834
I have piles upon piles of garbage on my desk and all my area, even where i sleep. i never bother to clean it because without the garbage everywhere around me it doesn't feel right.
>>
>>738321750
I hope that's true, because I'm going to start putting sports rub on all my notes just so that one day it'll burn your junk.
>>
>>738333176
Nice, they start to look crazy after awhile, like theres shit it in, i used to collect mine in 2 liter soda bottles.
>>
>>738328066
Your problems are so fucking easy to fix though, eat better and stop jerking off
>>
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>>738331635
>>738333416
>>
>>738329210
Chances are someone in this thread has touched their nuts to his nut money, or his nut money has touched nuts prior to his nuts. Anon is a fag via dead prez, maybe even a necrophiliafag.
>>
I like to floss and smell it after each tooth
>>
>>738328572
Dude I promise! I never lie.
>>
>>738331934
I like the big thick slabs of skin I've gotten real good at slicing it off. I can clear my wholefoot and only have 4-6 peices
>>
>>738329100
Kek'd
>>
>>738321750
You can get crabs like that
>>
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>>738321750
Like this?

Is this you???
>>
>>738320724
Holy hell I knew a kid who recommended I try this like a decade+ ago hahahaha. I think I tried it but it wasn't anything special
>>
i intentionally dont wear deodorant, and skip cleaning my pits when i bathe so i can sniff the stink when i jackoff cus rancid BO makes my dick hard as diamonds.
>>
>>738320915
Used to do this but it can make your sick pretty rank
>>
>>738335257
I have never used deodorant in my entire life.
>>
>>738322421
I cut up my legs sometimes too but not because I really hate myself that much more just like it stops you from thinking or feeling anything at all for a while.

Also because if I keep doing it occasionally I can remind myself that I've got fucking issues and blame all my failures on that you know
>>
I smoke marijuana until I black out and then usually wake up at 1-3 in the morning with odd songs stuck in my head that drip with pathos, so that usually triggers depression...
>>
>>738323362
Yes I do this, or think about the future when contact lens cameras are available freely and I can Livestream my life
>>
>>738327221
The l'appel du vide dude, my God. As like a hobby I like climbing up on things and standing on edges like an idiot, and lately I've just been getting that french shit nonstop. It's always kind of scary after the moment, because sometimes it feels like I almost do it
>>
>>738328030
I used to do this all the time and I know what you mean. Sometimes it would hurt after and I'd have to pee a little bit just to flush out the tubes.

Also, smelled like death if you waited at all to wash it.
>>
I listen to screaming babies while I masturbate. Even better when there's a screaming baby actually in my house.
>>
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Fuck I thought I was weird.
I hire hookers to smoke cigarettes and have them blow smoke in my face while I jerk off or have them jerk me off while I play with their tits.
>>
>>738329318
I knew a girl who did the ear thing constantly, now she's got cauliflower ear, watch yourself
>>
sometimes I hit random people with my beavertail at night
first I walk behind them then when they start noticing I deliver a precise hit
>>
My dick leaks after I cum so to stop it getting messy I fold up a small piece of toilet paper, put it over my urethra and roll my foreskin back over it, when I wake up the next day it's usually dried solid and I can pick it off and flick it into the toilet along with my morning piss.
>>
>>738336165
hi suncat
>>
i ruin my finger and toenails. i get a knife, scissors or sharp edge and carefully shave away layers of nail, usually thick enough chunks to eat, and chew them into powder. ill find a little indent to wedge a knife into, and carve away at my nails until they look fucked. the skin around my nails is horrendous and constantly bleeding, and my nails have a rough, bumpy, jagged surface to them. i am missing the nail off my pinky toe completely
>>
>>738336365
not suncat but have been hiring streetwalkers for years. Progressed into having them run the cigarette tip close to or lightly grazing to actual burns on my knob. Cum buckets and can almost feel faint after I cum that hard.
>>
>>738325533
That doesn't sound healthy at all.
>>
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After I shit I get on the sink vanity and wash my ass in the sink like bidet
>>
>>738322204
>I barked out a loaf recently and wish that I'd had a slow-moving conveyor belt under it
Help my sides are in orbit and I can't get them down
>>
Rip out the ass hair with shit on it so it doesn't annoy me more.
>>
>>738336596
It's not harmful in any way.
>>
>>738337343
used to do this but now I shave my ass. Way cleaner and more comfortable
>>
>>738314834
sleep nude

pee in washbasin

push flush through my foot

when in library use to sniff the seat on which a girl just sit

try to smell the girls passing by

yes i like to touch beautifull girl and eat there leftover it make me stronger
>>
Whenever I have a free day and decide to spend it at home I masturbate every time my dick is off cooldown
>>
>>738325095
You mean sleep paralysis? I experienced that once. Scariest moment of my entire life, holy fuck.
>>
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>>738338012
>yes i like to touch beautifull girl and eat there leftover it make me stronger
>>
When I'm alone and I'm talking to myself I react to myself facially / vocally
>>
I push my fingernails into my gums really hard. Kinda hurts but feels good and it's impossible to stop. Damages my gums tho
>>
When im unconsciously really horny the simplest things will trigger me into fapping (or setting me in a mood to fap the instant I get home).
Things like the ankle of a woman, a woman's hair being blown by the wind, nice hands etc.
>>
>>738338256
I do this too. Sometimes I even shout stuff like "Fuck" "Shit" or "Kill me". That's completely random and extremly hard to control. It takes all my concentration to sppress this in public.
>>
>>738327206
Are you 12?
>>
>>738329210
Joke's on him I'm poor.
>>
>>738338222
Ash Checkem
>>
>>738314834
Ehh? But I always pee while I poop
>>
>>738338556
Everyone does?
>>
>>738338414
I'll react vocally if I'm really relaxed in public like "hmm" "where is that?" "should i turn left" etc
>>
>>738314834
When I used a piece of TP I fold it in half (so that the shit is inside) and use it again, fold it again and put it up my ass with one finger to make my anus super clean with only one square of TP.

Sometimes when I watch porn I search for pictures close to cumming until I finally blast my cum after a few hours.

Also when I'm in public I'm afraid That I'll do stupid things whitout being able to control it, like:
I'll jump in front of a car.
I'll hit someone or grab someones ass/dick/tits.
I'll call someone an asshole.
>>
>>738338596
Yeah but you can't pee if you wrap your dick in toilet paper unless you want to soak your shaft in piss
>>
>>738324127
Dude how much time do you have?
>>
>>738338615
One time on a train I let my concentration slip and yelled "KILL KILL KILL" as loud as I could.
>>
>>738338813
lol, cute
>>
Sometimes if I need to think, I'll go to another room (it has to be another room), squat like I'm taking a shit in the woods, and sit like that for 15 or so minutes till my thought is thunk.
>>
I cum in my wife's vagina
>>
>>738320844
>OCD
ik that feel anon, people give me weird looks when I spray Windex on everything before I touch it (literally anything, even if I want to touch myself)
>>
>>738338863
Train crew, passengers and police didn't think it was cute
>>
>>738314834
good idea. i hate when that happens
>>
>>738338813
random performance art or enough to trigger a police response that will see your face bounced off the sidewalk as you get handcuffed by seven cops.
>>
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When I walk on the sidewalk I like to pretend that each block of cement is a half pipe and the cracks are the lips. I pretend my index finger and middle finger are controlling a little skateboard and I make the skateboard ride the half pipes as I walk along, so my hand kind of does a very subtle sine wave as I go.
>>
Sometimes I penis
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