GABE

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>>738311365
gabe what?

also bump

cmon /b/, get ur free legal advice. last time we had some great questions about pedofilia, i explained how to legally get a prostitute... wheres all the /b/ros at

>>738310014
Where I work, store manger don't give a fuck, and so are the other managers.
Except for 1 that actually cares for the business.
I work my ass off in that job.
But the employees don't do shit while I still do the jobs of 3 people
Store manager don't see jt
What do?

>>738310014
What is the easiest way to murder somebody and hide the evidence?

>>738310014
What can you do if someone steals something from you but it is an illegal item for you to have

>>738310014
Can you ever restore your right to own a firearm as a felon?

What company do you work for

>>738310014
How can I tell if I'm on a no fly list or other shit I'm being watched for?

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>>738311972
sadly nothing. you can complain but at the end of the day they pay you for your time not efforts

>>738312037
very complicated question. i do have a client who would be termed a serial killer. we were talking the other day about another one of my cases (attempted murder) and he made the point that he always drops the gun at the scene to avoid ppl saying i got it from X, i got itf rom Y and it leading back to him that way

>>738310014
Why does it tickle when I touch my peepee?

>>738312143
you can get your case expunged. if its a crime that cant be expunged or expungement denied you'd go for a governer's pardon, in CA its now called a certificate of rehabilitation

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>>738312178
not gonna say. i like to be open and honest and talk about some of my cases so it's either be interesting or give you information you dont need. dont be such a faggot

>>738312370
Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

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>>738312266
no fucking idea. this is a lawfag ama, not a dhs help line

>>738312447
Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

>>738310014
How badly can you kick someone's ass before it gets illegal and how do you avoid getting in trouble for it

Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

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>>738312370
question is why arent you tickling other people's pee-pees

>>738310014
How has this thread not been 404'd...

>>738312487
Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

>>738312466
Well what would constitute being an extremist in the eyes of the state?

>>738312512
Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

>>738310014
What are the laws on "crimes of passion"? If I caught my gf Fucking a nigger,could I kill him and get away with it?

>>738312547
Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

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>>738312579
Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

>>738310014
How easy is it to get out of a speeding ticket from a fixed speed camera If you're riding a motorcycle? (Full face helmet and rear facing camera).

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>>738312617
Bump for interest. I too would like to know why it tickles when I touch my peepee.

MODS!!!!!

>>738312483
Good question. its reasonable force. so if they beat you near to death you can do the same

you cant have someone who takes a swing and then you tear an arm off

greentext
>client wakes up 3am
>gf not in bed, wtf
>checks her daughters room (not his kid), little slut is asleep (i think she's like 9). anyway, calls old lady's phone. no answer
>goes outside, car is in the garage
>"god damn it i know shes fucking someone else"
>random dude pulls up she's in the car
>he goes to the driver's door, dude wont unlock the car, but window is down so he spat on him
>dude gets outta the car screaming ima fuck you up, ima beat the shit outta you

good legal advice: after you fuck some dude's girl, if you're gonna fight him, make sure you can win

>this motehrfucker throws a clean hook at my client, hits him in the temple

now to illustrate my answer to your question anon

>my client proceeds to destroy this motherfucker. broke 3 ribs, his nose and literally (it even said it in the police report) picked the dude up and threw him at a wall from about 4 feet back

he got charged with battery due to excessive force. moral of the story is, dont fight some dude if you just fucked his gf and you might lose

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>>738312499
i post this image every time i do this ama. fuck you. dont be a pussy

>>738312667
FFFAAAAGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever be constipated for days then when you finally get the shitball out of your ass, you could feel the backed up shit worming its way through your insides?

>>738312340
So your client is free killing people or is he/she locked up?

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>>738312640
i dunno. i dont do traffic tickets, but when i get them i usually load the cop/city attorney with so much discovery they just give up

you can also say it wasn't you driving but unless they can see your face and that it doesnt look like you it's a long shot

MODS

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>>738312858
not a legal question. really not a question at all

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>>738312867
he is not incarcerated. we saved that dude from a literal 250 year sentence. that dude fucking loves us

If I participate in events of a group filed as a terrorist organization what are the repercussions?

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>>738312941
mods what. wtf am i doing against the rules? all of these images ive posted enough times that i know its acceptable. literally fuck you for being a faggot bitch

>>738312987
How do you clean up evidence? Any tips?

How likely is someone to be caught and arrested for viewing cp on omegle chat?

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>>738312989
usually when you get caught up doing something they'll add on some enhancements (under the moniker of gang ties)

what group?

>>738313058
be a bit more specific. digital, physical, dead body?

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>>738313067
unlikely

if you just see it on a webpage/omegle its virtually impossible to prosecute bc chances are they arent gonna find you literally looking at it AND something stored on ram isnt deemed to be in possession of

so youre pretty much good to go, fap away my friend. fap away

>>738313097
A left wing extremist group(not antifa, those retards barely pose a threat)

>>738312987
interesting way to say "we condemned society"

No shit you shitpost butchered kids. You are a sociopath lol

>>738313113
Physical. Bodies would be interesting to know too

>>738312446
Sauce?

>>738313239
left wing extremist? im just curious what you mean, like national socialist?

if i knew the group i could answer with a lot better accuracy. if your in MS13 for example basically everything is doubled for the gang tie

>>738312919
Wowowow, so are you saying if I say it wasn't me and they DONT have a clear photo of my face then it won't matter what riding gear I may or may not have been using at the time as well but simply because they can't make a positive I.D they can't PROVE it was me therefore my right to contest will be honoured and I won't need to pay the fine?

>>738312987
That's crazy yo!
How much did that cost your client?
Also what music do you enjoy?

>>738313301
No, anarchist-communist related and that kinda stuff. >inb4 cuck

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>>738313250
sociopath? yes. that is correct, but i like who i am and it is what it is

and what do you want. a lotta ppl like to say theyre bad, but i help ppl do bad things and get them outta trouble to keep doing bad things, i post vids/images of ppl getting mutilated as i answer legal questions

arent i exactly the kind of lawyer youd want? ruthless, aggressive and couldnt care less your level of guilt

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>>738310014
Work at startup, when should I file my 83b.. I think it's too late, we're already worth like fn 20m and I think I fucked up.

>>738310014
How easy is it to buy a gun illegally? Do underground black markets exist in 1st world countries?

>>738313330
yea pretty much. but if they cant tell it's not you (say the dude riding the bike was a nigger and you're white) you get off. if it could be you/might be you theyre gonna stick with it

>>738310014
>>738312555
This op

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>>738313401
i do criminal law, personal injury, med mal and copyright/contracts. no clue what you should file

>>738313033
does anyone have sauce for this, been looking for ages and haven't found anything. will suck whomevers dick who provides sauce

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>>738313464
ok sort of. voluntary manslaughter (heat of passion murder) doesnt excuse the conduct, it lessens the penalty

here's the key- DO NOT WAIT. if your gonna do it, do it the second you catch them. if you wait, walk outta the room, w/e you can get tagged with 2nd or even 1st degree murder

the girl in the meme cheated on her bf and got a good spanking for it

>>738313453
You're a good lawyer, both of your answers sway equally both ways.

Probs easier to pay the fine then risk court fees

>>738313505
lawfag here, i would love the source

you can go to xrares.com for more. they have all the great rape/brutality shit

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how illegal would it be to post my ex girlfriend's nudes on her Instagram? (i have her password and she is of legal age)

>>738313599
Dubs demands it. I kill em. Thanks bro

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>>738313629
thank you sir. i appreciate that you appreciate my advice

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>>738313648
depends the state. id just go ahead and post em. if you post em here i can rate your ex

in fact, bc she's your ex it is your LEGAL obligation to post them titties up for the /b/ros

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>>738313681
dont wait

>>738313648
/b/ law, you gotta post em here

>>738313758
i live in Canada

How hard is law school and what was your Bachelor's? Considering it myself, a senior currently. Also, how hard is your job itself and what does an average day entail?

>>738310014
I have an 8 year old daughter who is starting to become really hot. Is there any way that I can legally have sex with her in the next 5 years that would ensure I won't go to prison if she gets all blabbity mouthed and tells?

>>738312446
Ok fuck sort for pissing you off, then have there been any cases where you felt like you just wanted to do anything to make the client guilty

>>738313630
>xrares.com
Thanks for this shit vro, I'll have an unlimited supply of this shit famalam

>>738313893
cant hep you

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>>738310014
How much explosive compound can you possess before your dog gets shot by the BATFE?

>>738313985
not even gonna answer this. go fuck your kid if that's what you wanna do. i dont judge. other people do, i just dont care

>>738313033
Yep because showing pictures of dead and raped little girls is acceptable fuck you for being so fucked in the head you think this is alright im done with you wank stain

>>738314016
nah, ive had nightmare clients but i always do what's in their best interest (even if they dont like it)

ive defended child molestors before, ill do it again. ill fight for their innocence no matter how many little ginees or pen0rs they play with

What's the weirdest thing you have bought with that sweet lawyer money?

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>>738314018
enjoy

Going off of the cp on omegle, so if I were to open a Dropbox/ other file link with cp on it in during the chat, I'd still be fine?

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>>738314084
batfe?

i have a case right now, my client had less than 5 m80s and they want him to do 8 EIGHT fucking years. total bullshit

>>738314213
that's a great question

i dont really know about weird but if i ever do drugs they always are delivered to me, ive bought porn on a whim before. thats probably as crazy as it gets. but if oyu have any suggestions im all ears

>>738313630
holy shit this site is a goldmine. thanks man.

legendary thread

>>738314107
Yeah, but how can i do it legally.

What, have we come across the one question Mr. Fancypants Lawyer won't answer? I guess fucking dead bodies is okay, but if it's your 8 year old daughter, well, that's the limit for Atticus Finch here.

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>>738314346
no because it is being stored in a permanent space. on ram the court likens it to short term memory, possession isnt permanent. but dropbox is not something being stored on a temporaru medium

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>>738314431
glad you can appreciate it my friend

>>738314198
Cool, what was the most high profile case you've worked on

>>738314509
cant say. itd be too easy to identify the celebrities. i actually cant even hint bc its so obvious

celebrities tho get treated waaaaay better than regular ppl. client of mine is a fairly well known celebrity, stole almost 100k from the government. had it turned into a petty theft bc the DA had a wet cunt for him

>>738314452
how can you legally engage in a sexual and incestual relationship with a minor under 12? you suck at trolling dude

>>738314354

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms & Explosives.

>>738313908
Still waiting for answer pl0x

How easy is it to scam a company if you get "injured" at work and how long can you milk it?

>>738314611
Oh come on, if you can get celebrities off from grand theft and murder charges, you can come up with a way for us to fuck our kids. Religious observance and rites protected under the first amendment? Specific states with grandfathered exceptions, southern states (or new hampshire-like states) with dodgy age-of-consent laws or marriage laws?

You're not even trying Saul Goodman.

>>738310014
We all know you are a 12 year old faggot. please kill yourself.

>>738314583
Rip, how about cases that have really funny shit going on in it

So do the chances of getting caught on omegle chat viewing cp go up, or as long as they don't specifically look on omegle should I be fine?

>>738310014
What is the legality of sex dolls that look underage?

>>738310014
Are there any free resources to look at the process of a trial in detail, like a textbook? I'm curious if there are any infographs accompanied by sufficient walls of text to calm my autism, so to speak.

t. Network Security major looking into maybe going for a masters in law.

>>738314682
o the ATF and that isn't a real question. they should only kill an animal if they believe it poses a threat. real answer is that they can do whatever the fuck they want with immunity

i have a case right now, my client is a schizo who had a butter knife in her hand. cop who knows her sees her and shoots her in the head for no reason. his partner proceeds to shoot her too. the polic commission found they were in violation of procedure and they will never be prosecuted. ever

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>>738314921
im a 12 year old faggot? get the fuck out of my thread

>>738315015
i got one where they want my guy to do 49 fucking years

all he did was pick up some 14 year old chick at an orphanage and then pimp her out. seriously doesnt deserve 50 years tho. she was already ho'ing it up

>>738315041
if youre not saving the chat in any way when you close it that's the end of it

>>738313199
What if u search for it , and find it on the internet. But don't download it?

>>738315045
illegal. which is funny bc all this loli shit they allow on here violates US law

you cant have anything that depicts a minor in a sexually explicit way

>>738315150
not sure what ur looking for in terms of an answer but every trial is public record (unless juvenile or sealed for a specific reason). that means you can get the trial transcript to any case you know of

>>738315401
then your fine

you technically cant look for the material or even view it, but like i said if you dont save it and they dont literally catch you in the act howre they gonne prove it. its all about what the evidence shows so if there's no evidence, nothing to show

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>>738315566
double dubs

>>738315566
you're*

>>738313395
I feel like you and I could have a few interesting conversations, given your understanding of and openness to your sociopathy.

>>738315425
Where can I verify this?

Do you ever catch a buzz before appearing in court?

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>>738315736
It varies state by state

>>738315668
its not an understanding. it is what it is. but im happy to answer any qeustion you have

>>738315358
Kek
Moar?

>>738315484
How should I do that; would I have to go down to my city's courthouse to receive the transcript or can I just fedangle around the internet to find shit?

>>738315736
not gonna pull up case law for you but this will be good enough for the moment:

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110221225719AAq2r2R

and before you say well im an american and ill go to country X, american laws follow us no matter where we go

>>738315909
I've seen that posted around quite a bit. Some say it isn't true, some say it is. I hope it's not, but what is your take on it?

>>738315899
a buzz before court?

if youre implying whether i ever go fucked up the answer is no, never

but a lawyer i know was in court the other day, one of my clients actually sells him heroine and you could just tell from a mile away that dude was in crazy fucking withdrawals

>>738315924
How did you come to the conclusion that you were a sociopath? Additionally, do you see it as being a separate term with a different definition from a psychopath?

>>738316047
Not lawfag, but see what you can gather at your county clerk's office or fuck about in a library's shit and see what laws there are I guess.

>>738315932
sure

this is the story of nigger kryptonite

>be 49 year old pimp, nigger
>go on craigslist or backpages whatever and start talking to some fine 21 yr old blone
>she's all over my dude, calling him daddy and shit (niggers love that garbage)
>they start texting
>she goes, im actually 17
>fuckbitchyouacop.jpeg
>they keep chatting
>she sends him a pic of stacks of money on her bed, like 20k
>he goes "i know you a cop but im coming"

drives over an hour to see her. yes, it was a cop

its not entrapment legally but you take a 49 yr old nigger who's a pimp and offer him some hot fucking 16 year old blonde white girl who wants to give him money, how can that motherfucker resist?

>>738315994
get the case name and case number. find out court. call clerk, say you'd like a copy of the transcript and if you should call the court reporter or archives to get a copy

>>738310014
so my girlfriend is 16 is it illegal to have noods of her, even if we are in a relationship?

why did you become a lawman?

>>738313908
>>738314683

Guess I'll just go fuck myself

>>738316110
tested. and family knew, they werent surprised at all

yea its different from psychopathy. i look at it like im purely self interested and will do whatever i deem appropriate to advance my interests. pain and suffering of other's doesnt bother me. a psychopath likes to inflict suffering on others

>>738316072
Cool. Follow up questions; what is your routine to get yourself mentally prepared? Do you stick to reviewing notes and staying calm, or maybe throwing some music on the stereo? How many cases have you taken on?

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>>738316419

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>>738316047
so there's state and federal law. i cant speak to states besides ny and ca, but federal law is universal. loli is illegal under federal law no matter what state you're in

>inb4 the vid is fake
i dont care. i like it

>>738316072
>>738316143
just google it. clerk wont know shit and if you want someone to actually answer the question you have to go to a lawyer. so google

>>738316295
nope. not only is it illegal to be with her at 16 in a sexual relationship (remember im a CA lawyer so i can only speak with certainty about CA) but having images of her is possession of child porn

>>738316342
grandfather was a lawyer, dad's a lawyer, uncle's a lawyer, i'm a lawyer. honestly i love what i do, it's interesting, i get to help bad people do bad things or if it's civil, i basically have a license to steal

plus everyone loves hearing my stories

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>>738316295
Kek you're fucked anon
>>738316633

>>738313908
didn't see your question.

lawschool was hard, the bar was hard, and i work constantly. i dont get a full 24 hours off ever, even on vacation. but i like what i do and usually id rather be working anyway

usually i tell ppl not to become lawyers bc i dont want more competition, but if that's what you want do it. nothing wrong with having a doctorate

average day is usually court in the morning, 1-3 meetings, office meeting, research time/motion time, and then i like to read the news at the end of the day. my favorite is being in court and meeting with clients- i like to talk

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>>738316754
that was a really funny quesiton. he though its legal for him to be with her but maybe it would be illegal to have nude photos? shouldnt the two go hand in hand

sometimes i wonder where people's common sense is

>>738313908
i also majored in philosophy and double minored in psych and US history

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>>738316633
>>738315566
>>738313599
>>738313199
>>738313033
>>738312466
That settles it op is a god

>>738316906
In some states you can legally date a 16 year old but you technically can't have nudes of them

>>738313908
>>738314683

Not OP but I did not think law school was very hard. got a bachelor music first. Job is time consuming but what it entails depends entirely on what area and what kind of place you work

>>738316446
If I gave a small list of personal characteristics, relating to this topic of course, could you reasonably tell me if I am either?

>>738316234
Fucking dead
Thx based lawfag!

>>738317044
thank you sir. since you've all been so kind im gonna explain how to legally get a hooker

OK, so you wanna fuck, you got the funds, but you dont wanna go to jail, what do?

PORN- but wait. to be safe find a contract for pornography online, print it out and leave it wherever ur gonna fuck (extra precaution, not necessary)

find prostitute, explain you want to film some tasteful nudes and potentially some light pornography

ask hourly rates, hell you can even ask how much for anal or whatever ur into

you get pulled over, cop knows the ho. but no need to lie, officer we are going to film pornography in accordance with the laws of our fine state

and that's how you can literally get a hooker without getting in trouble if you get pulled over by a fuck head cop

>>738317205
that's true but most states are converting their laws to say 18 now. sad

>>738314716
Not OP but i do IP law. It's easy enough to get "nuisance money" aka enough for you to settle your case, but less than it would cost to defend it and win. To get any real money, you need real and serious injuries. Whoever you sue is entitled to all your medical records so you can't really fake an injury. And the stuff you can fake, aka soft tissue, doesn't get much recovery anyway

>>738317357
nope. id have to spend time with you

let me ask you this, say you ran into a kitty who meowed at you and had those eyes of "take me home and ill be ur kitty" but ur allergic to cats so you stomp on it out of efficiency (basically so you never have to run into it again)

if that's something you can understand, you may be a socio. you can also guess if im the hypothetical in my story

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>>738317372
thats why its kryptonite to a nigger

16 yr old, blonde, white, money!? how can a brother resist

>>738314716
>>738317515
I forgot to mention, that if you get injured at work, workers' comp will pay for it and you can't sue. however you can sue the company that hired your company and the owner of the land where you were injured.

>>738317515
>>738314716
oops, meant to say PI law

>>738312273
>>738312368
is there more?

>>738314716
lawfag here, see my fellow lawfag's responses
>>738317515
>>738317601

dead on, dont have anything to add. just wanna reiterate what you said about damages though, for real money you need real damages and that means real injury. all of my good cases the clients universally say they'd rather be better than injured despite the money

also dont get hurt at work, workers comp sucks. i had a criminal client who lost an eye and he only got 100k

>>738316446
Well, this is bullshit because sociopath stopped being a diagnosis back in the 60's. It's basically been eliminated in favor of disassociative behavior disorders and the Hare psychopathy checklist.

Your legal credentials stands up as well as Lionel Hutz.

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>>738317726

>>738317754
thats cool. dont need to explain the circumstances to you, but i appreciate your interest

and i like lionel hutz. id rather have him than saul

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holy fuck check my image

>>738317742
do you like the star wars prequels, lawAnon?

>>738317996
im a star trek guy

Are you a jew?
civil or common law (objective no bias)

I'm a lawfag student from a yurop country and i honestly think your system with a jury is dumb as fuck. Jury's aren't educated in law, why should they decide the verdict and let them be convinced by the lawyer with the best show. Obviously my biggest example for this is good old OJ i watched the documentary about him and could not believe the nig defense squad pulled off.

>>738317742
yeah my gf was impressed that one of my clients got 900k from one of the defendants, but then i explained that he had ORIF surgeries in both his ankles and will never walk or be able to work again.

it's like that scene from Office Space where the dude is completely crippled from his accident, and he's like, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me!

>>738317842
What was your legal schooling? Multiple hours of L.A. Law and Ally McBeale? No wonder you can't figure out a loophole to let me fuck my kid.

Some lawyer you turned out to be. Do you have any advice on how to avoid attorneys like you? Don't look for legal advice from attorneys that advertise on taped up flyers on streetlamps maybe?

>>738318076
i was a jew, decided on my own to have a bar mitzvah

at 18 became an atheist

around 25 realized that the people were awful and i wanted nothing to do with them. i do not like being called a jew. however, i have had clients ask me if im jewish and i know the answer they want to hear is yes (dont know why, some ppl like juden lawyers as if it fucking matters)

and in US we have common law. yea the jury system is kinda fucked. i always explain to clients i hate putting their fate in the hands of 12 retards. ive had cases that 100% should have been winners and still found my client guilty

>>738318126
Soangry

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>>738318126
yea, if you kill yourself you'll never run into a lawyer like me

and ally mcbeale? why did you even think of that garbage

just remember, im under 30, an attorney and im not a fat fuck. troll all you want, my life is better than yours

>>738318076
I'm the other lawyer (not OP) and i'm half jew.

You misunderstand the role of the jury: the jury is a fact-finder, so all they do is make factual determinations about what happened. all legal questions are resolved by the judge, who knows a great deal about the law.


>>738318126
don't get legal advice from /b/ maybe

>>738318406
dude is just a troll and an unfunny one at that. shouldve said how can i fuck my 13 year old neighbor legally- that i can answer

>>738313648
very. You'd definitely violate the CFAA (Computer Fraud and Abuse Act), probably state computer crime laws, and possible revenge porn laws depending on the state.

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>>738318324
Ohhh nobody could stay mad at you Hymie.

You should be proud. You're like, the one kike that isn't smart enough to be in Law or Finance. Hell, you're not even smart enough to fake your way through it on a /b/ thread.

You truly are an exceptional heebie.

Medical malpractice question. Got hpv, I didn't know I have it yet though. Doctors taking their time diagnosing it. Keep telling urologist I'm pretty sure it's gov but he refuses and says he thinks I have balantis. I don't have warts, just some I flamed skin when it's in the tissue. He gives me steroidal cream. Steroid cream makes hov worse I read so I ask him if he's sure. Literally says I don't know. Use it. After 3 days the pain intensifies like 3 fold, inflamed area becomes darker, area of pain spread to another area. Tell him and he thinks it just the balantis still and to keep using it. Get diagnosis from other doctor it is intact hpv. Tell him. He just sort of shrugs his shoulders and drops me as a patient after making my hpv worse. This was like a year and a half ago and I think the statue of limitations is 2 years where I'm at. What advice would you give me for this?

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>>738316446
so I'm assuming you don't have urges of hurting others or causing suffering but it wouldn't faze you if you did hurt someone or caused sufferage? also let me ask you this, do you consider yourself as dangerous? do you have feelings toward love? sorry I know it's a lot of questions

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>>738318584
im op, and you were responding to someone else

also ppl who say im bullshitting are retarded. you can easily test by looking at an answer and researching if its correct or asking your own question and confirming the answer

also as an attorney it is my duty to advise you that you're a faggot

>>738318285
I guess it's just a jewish trick like the bbc myth.

Would you prefer a civil law system (if you by any chance have knowledge about it )

Would you go in the field of criminal law again if you could do it over, or a different field like tort law for example.

>>738314198
Good man

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>>738318683
good question, but you have no case

in order to have a case you need 2 things, liability and damages

liability would be tough to prove because youd need to retain experts to determine taht what the doctor did fell below the standard of care and thats expensive

damages you have none of bc theres no permanent injury and ultimately you did get the proper diagnosis

sorry bud

>>738318685
> caused sufferage?

How the hell is a lawyer gonna make somebody vote?

>>738318406
what about OJ then. nigs in the jury never cared about the evidence but just wanted revenge

>>738317597
he win the case?

>>738318837
Yeah I figured as much. Other lawyer told me I had a good case against the person who gave me hov because they knowingly gave it to me and lied when I asked if they had it, but told me that because he had no assets I wouldn't get anything. Man I should have just gone and fucked their cars up or something when I had the chance.

>>738318397
>yea, if you kill yourself you'll never run into a lawyer like me

Not so. If I go to a Liars Anonymous meeting, I'll run into a few like you, I'd wager. Couple doctors too.

>and ally mcbeale? why did you even think of that garbage
Because your legal "advice" so far is of similar merit as generic tv lawyers.

>just remember, im under 30, an attorney and im not a fat fuck. troll all you want, my life is better than yours

Yes, you're quite the accomplished attorney. I've known high profile attorneys that enjoy the role reversal from their job and get into dominatatrixes and one that even liked to have women put cigarettes out on their groin, but I never met any whos standards were so low that they had to try to impress and lord themselves over the 14 year old cringe of a thread on /b/. I'm guessing you're the creme-de-la-croppe. Harvard or perhaps a John Marshall/U of C graduate. Truly, your credentials must be impeccable.

But its hard to tell since I haven't seen an iota of legal advice posted yet.

>>738318049
What's your favourite Trek episode?

Mines The Visitor, DS9

>>738318683
>>738318837

What state are you in? You might not even be allowed to file suit. In some states at least, you need to file a notice of medical malpractice well before the expiration of the SOL. basically a bunch of doctors had their lawyer friends make laws to make it way harder to sue doctors. there are a bunch of other restrictions like this where i practice

>>738318685
i have been in infatuation been in love. no urge to cause pain or suffering unless someone makes me angry or it's an irrelevancy. not dangerous- being dangerous entails risk and losing my status/possessions. not gonna happen. remember having sociopathic tendencies is not the same as having psychopathy. just look at it like your extremely self interested and emotionally muted (which a lot of ppl claim to be but confuse it with being desensitized)

>>738310014
How do I legally get a hooker?

How do I sucessfully win an assault case?

How many murders are unsolved?

How can you hack wothout neing caught?

>>738318713
Yes. You're a big lawer and you have your own entry in martindale hubbel and you know a whole bunch of smartypants stuff.;

Except how to legally let me fuck my kid. So much for Perry Mason here.

>>738318876
The jury still made factual conclusions that resulted in one or more elements for murder not being present. Even though they knew he killed her, they can just say that he didn't. That's not a legal question. What happened is a question of fact, whether it's murder is a question of law.

>>738318725
definitely jewish conspiracy

as an american i feel it is my duty to support our system, but i am familiar with civil law. there is an advantage i think to being able to choose a judge or jury, just more room for strategy i guess

im really more of a PI, med mal, and contracts attorney. i just love criminal and will do it whenever i can (usaully its tough bc criminals tend to be broke and im not gonna do pro bono)

>>738315425
loli is legal in California

>>738319289
>PI
>Med Malpractice
>Contract Attorney
> From your earlier descriptions, criminal defense too

You're an ambulance chaser. You're literally Saul Goodman.

>>738318876
rob kardashian was a family friend.. cant say how i know but that motherfucker is 100% guilty

oj was special because he was a celebrity and you have to look at the times, rodney king had just been beaten by police, tons of crime in the nignog neighborhoods, feeling like they were being repressed. it was a primarily black (mightve been all black jury) and part of their verdict was political, at least that's how i saw it

>>738319403
i love the term ambulance chaser. dont know why ppl hate on it

and ive been in law for 10 years, family firm and we have a number of lawyers/specialties i get to float around.

and drafting contracts isnt that hard, you get the hang of it fairly quickly. most of my day is PI and med mal for sure

plus if you look i have a comment where i explain i love what i do because i get to help bad people keep doing bad things and in civil basically having a license to steal

>>738319386
ive literally tried cases where loli was involved

>>738319403
i embrace what i am

>>738319036
New York. With my general doctor though it took a long time to get a swab test to test forit. I had to take 3 swab test. The walls were really thin so when I came in for the second one, after they told me it got lost in the mail, I heard her through the wall ask a nurse what swab she's supposed to use because she didn't know. Turns out she didn't use a culture swab, but a cotton swab from a jar you see next to their sinks. She tried to lie about it though. Think there's anything with that? Pretty much she stuck a q tip up my ads and it wasn't even the proper medical device and then lied about it. Sje wasnt even a doctor, she was a "nurse practitioner". The whole office was nurse practitioners saying they were doctors with one actual doctor running the practice but never around.

>>738319386
Doesn't matter. It is still a federal crime.

Can one create a sexual consent contract, have girl who wants to fuck sign it, get it notorized and recognized by courts as a legal contract?

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Hey, OP. Very impressive bread.

Question: I got in a fender bender back in April. I was backing out of a parking space that had another parking space directly behind.

I hit some dumb highschool senior bitch driving her mommys car while we were backing up at the same time. (We both hit our rears.) Thing is: she had literally nothing done to her compact suv, but my car, has a huge dinger on the left corner, implying that I was backed out first.

Cops came and we filed report, exchanged insurance, took pics, yada-yada. It's been like 5 months and I still haven't gotten a settlement from my trash insurance.

Who do you think is at fault on this one? It's pretty common occurance from what I hear, but implying the dent on the very corner of her car, wouldn't that mean its her fault for backing in to me?

>Also, OP. I'm in 2nd year college and I'm going for a STEM degree, but I was thinking about maybe changing to Law or Env. Sci. and/or minoring(Fo. Lang.)/double-majoring(Business). Do you think I have what it takes? I'm tired of being a fucking pleb. Time to get money.

>>738319581
lawfag here,

nah. it may have what's called nuisance value, but theres nothing. remember you gotta be injured. if your penis fell off, yea ud have ur damages and based on what youve alleged they could very well be responsible

but ur penis is still there, albeit it's probably small. sorry anon, but i do have a doctorate so i can decide these things

>>738319581
NY SOL is usually 3 yrs, but for a medmal case it's 2.5 so you're fucked

>>738319028
Someone's jelly, lmao.

>>738319753
Blackmailed sluts from 4chan kik threads.

What can happen?

>>738319670

good question, you can enter into a sexual consent contract. in fact, whenever there is a porn that you watch (assuming they followed the laws) the actors all entered into a sex contract. you can even have something in your prenup about fucking or not fucking

>>738319814
ugh, you go to jail for blackmail?

>>738319670
you can't contract for sex but it would be admissible evidence as proof of her consent if she later claimed she never consented to sex and you raped her

>>738319753
Okay how about this. It was originally misdiagnosed as something else by a doctor and because of the misdiagnosis I have it to somebody else. Is there anything that?

>>738319704
>Do you think I have what it takes?
well, i dont know you or anything about you but sure. if you can make it through college you can probably make it through law school (the real attrition rate is like 10-15%)

if you were both backing up at the same time it would be 50/50 fault here in CA

>>738319804
dude i didnt see his response. lawlz

>>738319874
Thanks, If I ever meet a chick I want to fuck and it's mutual, I'm taking her woth me so the notary can be a witness and the contract will be defense.

>>738319879
they might be able to sue the doctor. i read a case where a husband sued his cheating wife's lover for giving her an std she passed on to him

>>738319997
the best part is that you can then rape her as much as you want in the future with impunity

>>738319028
didnt know there was a liars anonymous

and as far as ally mcbeal goes, i understood the reference, i was bagging on you for even bringing that shit up... also sounds like you watched that garbage. im sorry anon, your life really is horrible, maybe less liars anonymous and more suicide?

and uhhh cool for knowing lawyers that liked to be dominated and had cigarettes pulled out on their junk. thanks for sharing? dont really know how to respond

and ask a question and ill answer it, but asking how to fuck an 8 year old isnt even funny. you in high school bud?

>>738311972
Are you me? Seriously tough, this shit is really starting to piss me off and burn me out. I know exactly what you're going though here.

>>738319034
anything involving lore or Q

im all about the next generation

so lets say i get into a fight in public. what are some things i'm legally not allowed to do in this said fight, other than obvious shit like killing the guy

I was bullied and the superintendent told me to withdraw and come back when he expelled the gang kids after a serious incident involving LE. He never did call back and I was displaced without a high school to attend. Can I sue him?

So this is years back and I'm sure it's out of the statute of limitations but I want to see what the answer is. I was at jobcorps. 300+ people live there. I was blowing a dude on the dl here and there. He secretly recorded me doing it and showed everyone in the school. Before I k we he did it he had recorded me a second time and showed everyone the second vid. Being that the school was responsible for us and all their staff would I have been able to sue the shit out of him, the staff, the school, and the government since it's a government run program?

>>738319823
Thusly, you should film it and pay her afterwards. That way you can play it as if you hired her for a porno shoot.

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>>738310014
>AMA- and i mean anything

time for a 25th amendment solution?

What would be the easiest ways to get away with rape and/or murder?

Such as - Not cumming inside to leave shitloads of DNA, not knowing the person so they can't identify you... Shit like that?

>>738320121
Q was awesome

>>738313985
it's not a crime if no one finds out

>>738319814
you can get charged with blackmail

greentext time

>have client, weird kid 19
>he hooks up with a cute jewish girl (hes a spicaroo btw)
>he films her sucking him, she refuses to fuck

ok, side note, this dude had the worst nastiest shmegma dick ive ever seen. it was awful

>anyway, proceeds to blackmail her
>"bitch if you dont come fuck me ima send these vids to your dad, friends
>girl gets sad. calls police
>executre search warrant against computer and phone

he comes and retains us. hear the story, whatever we can resolve this no problem

>uh oh.html
>loads and i mean LOADS of kiddy porn on everything

senior partner calls me into confrence room, Lawfag, client can explain the kiddy porn, he said he downloaded a thing called tor to go on the dark web and it mustve downloaded on his computer

of course i responded with, no he downloaded tor, dl'd cp off the dark net and then put it on his phone

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>>738311972
>What do?

stop your fucking whining. case closed.

>you're welcome

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>>738319152
thanks for response op, so being desensitized is like you are able to see something fucked up and say yeah that's fucked up but you aren't affected by it, while being a sociopath you see something fucked up and you just don't care about the situation or person? and do sociopaths care about loved ones if they are successful or something bad happens to them. and if you did hurt someone let's say on accident and it was your fault would you care?
>sorry for being such a fag but these are my last questions

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>>738319912
But wouldn't I have to change out of stem to pursue law? An yea I guess they said it was 50/50. Idk, i still am mad bc no word back from my insurance company.

More about me: My GPA is trash tbh. trying to get it back to >2.0 next fall. Fml. I think I have ADHD or something. What helps you focus/stay motivated? I guess just being happy right? I have some seriously demented and negative thoughts as of late. Maybe too many video games as I used to be a little angel. Look at me now, browsing 4chan like a little cuck. Whatever, this "phase" is fucking tiring and long. When I turn 21 next year hopefully I'll be stable mentally and otherwise.

>>738312037

stab with icecile knife, melts away

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the best bread are always deep at night, thanks op, you did my shitty night

>>738319874
lawfag here
thats not true- i responded that you can in fact k for sex. porn actors/actresses must enter into a contract for it to be legal (they must consent). and for purposes of a prenup you can as well.

i should have been more specific however and said no you cant outright contract for pussy because that would entail consideration (if the k was valid), which in turn means prostitution and you cant enter into a k with an illegal purpose

so you can in some sense, but not outright

>>738312083

cry in your cereal every morning

OR

get a gun and take it back

you make the call

>>738314475
So what does this mean?

>>738319879
the other person may have a claim, but you would not. also that may is a huge MAY

Malpractice question. My Fiance is a dog groomer at Petco. One day wrist starts hurting like hell. She goes to Dr that percent sends her to for workman's comp. They don't x-ray wrist. Just say it's a sprain. Keep working. Keep using it. It'll get better. She goes to physical therapy twice a week for 3 months. It doesn't get better. Workman's comp drops the claim starting it should've been better. We contest it. Workman's comp uses a 2nd opinion Dr who finally does x-rays. Dr says holy shit, it's not a sprain. You have keinbocks disease and need surgery immediately. Stop working. So we see a hand surgeon who explains. If we'd have had an x-ray when you first saw the work comp Dr we'd have been able to cast it and you'd have recovered. Now. 4 months later the bone in wrist is dead and fracturing. Surgery to shorten forearm bone. Permanent disabled, multiple surgeries will be needed for the rest of her life. What are the chances of winning workman's comp suit and or medical malpractice suit. Sorry for the long post. Thanks op

Can we have a Part 2 if this 404s?

>>738315150
Not OP. Modern Trial Advocacy is a solid text on the basics.

>>738310014
what would the correct ignition timing be on a 1955 Bel Air Chevrolet, with a 327 cubic-inch engine and a four-barrel carburetor?

>>738319997
>>738320069
lawfag here, you can't rape someone with impunity and as the other anon stated that it would be evidence of her consent, mind you it is not determinative. there may be other facts that make your writing totally useless (for example you bill cosby'd her and she woke up with a broken anus)

greentext, not my case but a DA friend of mine

>nignog has pics of him in a rolls royce, rolex blah blah blah

(too lazy to greentext)

stripper sees, he starts telling her hes gonna blow her mind and shit, treat her right

he takes her to cheesecake factory, gets her piss drunk (20 shots deal)
she wakes up in the middle of the night no recollection of what happened. looks in mirror, face is all fucked up, eye swelling, ligature marks on her neck
motehrfucker tried to kill her
phone is missing
cops call it, dumbass answers, they find him and he was in her car. best part is she took an uber to the cheesecake factory. dude went to her pad and stole her car

14 years

>>738320136
you can only use reasonable force- only the force reasonably necessary to defend yourself

if hes using his fists dont use more than a knife, if hes using a knife, dont use more than a gun, if hes using a gun, i guess use a gun

>>738320138
lawfag here
sue him for what? because he didnt call you, bc you didnt get to graduate where you wanted?

has to be a real cause of action, not dissapointment

>>738311468
how do you legally get a prostitute

>>738320176
too long of an answer for me to go real in depth but the short is probably not, he wasnt acting on behalf of jobcorp

>>738320817
Kek.

>>738320919
Emotional distress and failing to deal with the issues.

>>738320255
lawfag here,
i honestly believe hes gonna serve his full 4 years

I have a question, sorry it's not exciting but it is an issue I have.

Can someone who lives in an apartment building tell you you're not allowed in the parking lot? I have a vehicle that I own in that parking lot but have been told if I come to get it I'll get the police called on me for trespassing. Are there loopholes here? It's a bike that won't start, so there's no quick grabbing it. I have to get it with a trailer.

>>738320956
read the thread fagggg

>>738320994
Actually they have it hidden in the contracts and sign up for the program that each student is actually co wondered an employee of jobcorps so wouldn't he technically have been?

yurop lawstudent fag: just thanking for the answers to lazy to quote.

Most lawyers say they would defend anybody. For instance a actual jew lawyer in my country said even hitler deserves a defense. Ofcourse this got me thinking and i'd say i would NOT defend a client that is suspected of trying to plan a terror attack. I don't know for sure but i think there is even a obligation to contact the police if you sense something wrong js going to happen.

but criminal law isn't the field im interested anyway

>>738310014
What are your thoughts on jury nullification? For that matter, have you ever seen it in action? All the pot heads online love to jerk each other off over the idea of refusing to let someone get convicted over a victimless drug crime, but I'm not a lawfag and have never seen this in action myself.

>>738321078
Considered*

OP isn't a lawyer, OP is a summerfag

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>>738320326
that kid fucked himself xD even though he was your client I hope he did lose the case because that is some funny shit I'm sorry

>>738320401
just not effected by it

cant speak for others but i do think its good when family does well, if they are in trouble i help them out of a sense of loyalty more than anything, but as far as being able to distance myself from their suffering, empathy has never been my strong suit

and if i hurt someone and it was my fault like a car accident? id only care in so far as the possible repercussions