Animals that will fuck you up thread.

Not so tough
https://youtu.be/FIRT7lf8byw

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>>738301738
I think if I was ever face to face with roo, I wouldn't be able to stop laughing.

>>738302191
That twat got busted for punching the roo.

>>738301738
that thing almost looks like a human. how smart are they?

>>738301738
this kangaroo is large, I'm about 6'3" and built, I could easily knock it out
>>738302191
this kangaroo was tiny, this guy was just abusing the kangaroo.


I've seen Grizzly Bears irl, they're not so big. I could probably beat the shit out of one tbh.

>>738302390
kek

I wish I could have a conversation with a roo. What language do they speak?

>>738302391
Well smart enough to get dressed and take a selfie

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>Inb4 picture of niggers

>>738302413
look tough until I knock a tooth out and knock you out

>>738301738
>>738302390
>>738302413
kek

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>>738301738

>>738302752
All dead by mid 20's.

>>738302483
They speak punjab

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yTfvdGM21s

World's deadliest animal, kills the most people each year: mosquito

>>738302847
but they start reproducing at age 13 so there's no end in sight.

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I taught English in Africa for a year, to get a scholarship to college. While I was there, I accidentally startled one of these things. It was about 30 yards away when it saw me. It charged me and I tried to run away, but it caught up with me, grabbed me with it's trunk and threw me into a tree. Then it stepped on my chest and kicked me, and then it lifted me up with one of it's tusks and tossed me about 20 feet. before the people I was with ran it off. It broke 7 ribs and it broke my left arm in 9 different places and dislocated my shoulder.

Everyone said I was lucky to be alive.

>>738304063
>elephant stepped on chest
>lived

>>738304433
In all fairness, I've seen webm of a kid getting run over by a the tire of a car and then get up immediately after it happen, no fucks given.

>>738304433
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGTo-VU8H5s

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>>738304859
How in the fuck?

>>738304859
yeah, that's it.

>>738304967
You can get up after some pretty horrific injuries and it only hits you a few minutes later once your shit stops pumping.

My only real taste of it was when I rolled my car, I was pretty hurt but I ran from the scene with adrenaline pumping since the car landed up the right way still running. Couldn't figure out why the manual gearshift was so broken and weird feeling. Turns out I'd shattered my wrist and couldn't even feel it in the moment, 10 minutes later was a different story, holy fuck it hurt.

>>738304859
>>738304742
Pure luck if he wasnt injured and pumped full of adrenaline. The weight of the car could have sifted, the mother or the curb could have lifted the car enough.
>>738305424

this too

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>>738301738

>>738304063
Afrikaner here. You are very lucky to be alive.

Honey Badger. If you make the mistake of kicking one, it will chase you for 40 miles. It will never stop trying to bite you until you kill it.

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>>738304859
thats not even a little boy. thats a manlet

>>738302481
Grizzly bears are 10 feet tall and 4 or 5 hundred pounds...they would eat you. Please don't respond you'd only make your embarrassment worse little buddy.

>>738306085
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvlalDNxccw

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>>738301738
wouldn't want one of those blocking my path

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>>738306077

>>738306248
chilling the fuck out

>>738305888
Stupid niggers can't even spell African right.

>>738306714
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afrikaners

I'm white.

>>738304859
i need to find that boy.

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>>738306803
You sure are, nigger.

>>738301738
square up nigga
lmao

>>738306623

Geese and swans are mean little shits.

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>>738304859
>>738306879

>>738306912

I'm beginning to think you're an idiot

>>738306912
>I was only pretending to be retarded

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>>738307160
>>738307201
>Thinking I'm even the same guy who posted the original obvious troll that stupid nigger fell for.

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>>738301738

>>738307302
It's like the kangaroo is mocking her facial expression. Mean fuckers.

>>738302879
Would rekt that pussy

>>738307302
That roo is racist.

>>738307302
chinks are the ugliest fucking race i swear to god.

>>738304967
Something which people aren't mentioning; children's bones bend better, and they have way more cartilage between joints. Theres a chance if exposure is incredibly short that it'll just bend the bone, whereas an adult's would snap under the same pressure.

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>>738301738
fucking seagulls, man!

>>738307409
No Ahmed, fucking goats is bad

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>>738307638
They're a contender based on some real uggos, but they have some super hot ones as well. Abos hold the crown, though, because they're just hideous across the board.

>>738307698
Somewhere a chick just got wet.

>>738304063
Fake news

>>738307160
just remember
these faggots elected trump
good day

>>738301738
>will hardly ever have sex with you
>will reluctantly do it bareback
>will "forget" to take the pill
>will demand custody even not wanting the kid
>will demand alimony permanently
>will add charges for "emotional damage" and bs
>will accuse you of gender violence to earn crediblity
>will leave with half your shit, your kids, your car and a bad reputation
Yup, female humans will pretty much fuck you up.

>>738306085
>chase you for 40 miles

That's a fucking nightmare. Must avoid.

>>738308230
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZa1aMrLpmU

>>738308300
Yo don't fuck with Gaboon vipers. Good thing they're only in Africa

>>738307858
but the did a great job surviving for 60,000 years.
what have you achieved?

>>738307201
kek classic

>>738307638
The ugly ones are, yeah.

>>738307139
>Several signs at the park read: "Cherish your life. Never get out of your car."

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>>738308390
Not being part of a hideous race, for starters. And they look like they've been inbreeding for 60,000 years.

>>738308390
One time I bounced a superball so hard it hit the ceiling twice. And these were tall ceilings.

>>738308390
Unlocked every achievement for Deus Ex: Human Revolution.

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fuckin wot

>>738308390
I got trips once in a thread where it was required to see nudes. Checkmate, abofag.

>>738308793
What the fuck do they eat?

>>738308934
Your moms phat puss

>>738308934
They're vegetation eaters

>So, basically your mums phat puss

>>738305862
It's because she's not afraid, and bears can smell fear.

Just like chicks, you gotta have confidence to win em.

Kangaroos are funny as fuck. How do those things even exist?

>>738309071
You think they'd get pissed if I laughed at them?

>>738302481
You should definitely try it anon, I know you can do it.

>>738309131
idk man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQwHU8vhXY8

>all these kangaroo posts
>not one (1) mention of the cassowary

I'm far more terrified of cassowaries than kangaroos mates.

>>738306337
>4 or 5 hundred pounds

they weigh up to 800 pounds

This anon >>738302481 probably saw a brown bear and though it was a grizzly

>>738307298
Herp derp summers here! Look guise I'm trolling lololol

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You guys think you would get fucked up by a cougar ?? A big ass one though

>>738306123
Noooooooo

>>738307302
Is the bitch in this picture the animal or the kangaroo? Kangaroos will kick your shit but that bitch's mouth would do to your dick what a bear trap would to to your leg.

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>>738308987

>>738306248
Fucking wasps man.
They stop you at whatever it is you were doing.

>>738308390
abo detected

>>738302390
Oi, the .jpg

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and this is just a baby ....

>>738309561
Its worse where I live, we got these red paper wasps out here that will barge into your house to build a nest.

>>738308390
I know how to pants

>>738309357
Bet you've never seen a roo rip anothers guts out

>>738309422
A juvenile would probably fuck you up. Possibly not kill you, but seriously injure you.

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>>738301738

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>>738302390

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>>738302413

>>738309687
Dafuq is this?

>>738310120
>My eyeeess agghhhhhh

Fuckin bullshit tiny octopus got cheat codes to make itself one of the most poisonous creatures in the world.

>>738310240

honey badger

>>738309687
What in God's green earth is this?

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never should've come here

>>738310275
No, it's a sloth that they shot up with adrenaline.

>>738304063
Nigger detected

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>>738309687

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just 30% more skeletal muscle here, better hope you can outlast me

>>738310240
>>738310275
>>738310307
>>738310445

https://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg

>>738310695
thats a bonobo,
they settle all their disputes with sex.
not joking

>>738308323
These things should not exist.

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Killed the crocodile hunter.

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>>738310834
humans can't fuck up anything more than a medium sized dog, our body plan is adapted for chasing animals to exhaustion

>>738310326
INTERIOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR, I DRIVE A CHEVROLET MOVIE THEATER

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Irukandgi

>>738312110
Fucking maggies are cunts.

>>738312280
These fuckers harbor all kinds of nasty disease and don't dare be allergic. Serious nightmare.

>>738312280
The worst.

>>738309205
Kek

>>738312280
One of these little bastard gave me lyme disease. Fucked me up.

>>738309377
no, brown bears are the largest and most aggressive. black bears are the most timid

>>738302481
Stop talking about it then
Get out there and do it.

>>738306248
Anyone else ever get a wasp trapped under your shirt?

It's God's way of telling you he hates you.

>>738307302
she looks like a disney character

>>738313166
I thought that black bears were supposed to be surprisingly ballsy.

>>738302191
Info from licensor: "A group of hunters got together to help a young cancer sufferer (terminal diagnosis) with his last wish of catching a 100 kg (220 pound) wild boar with his dogs. One day while hunting one of the highly trained dogs was chasing some pigs by scent and collided with a big buck kangaroo that then held and wrestled the dog by its protective gear (boars have tusks like knives), the owner was horrified that his dog or the kangaroo would get hurt and run in to save both parties. You can see the dog trying to escape, wanting nothing to do with the kangaroo. The big buck kangaroo releases the dog when the owner gets close but then moves in to try and attack the human. A kangaroo kick to the guts could easily disembowel the owner easily , so he backs off a couple of times giving the kangaroo some space but he eventually changes the roo's mind with a punch to the snout, as it kept coming forward. The punch stops the roo and makes him think about the situation, giving the owner and the dog time to disengage from the big wild animal and leaving it to hop off and I suppose wonder about what just happened. We laughed at the absurdity of the situation and at how unfortunate it was for the dog and kangaroo. Our 6 foot 7 inch friend felt no malice to the kangaroo but had to step in and fix a bad situation before it got worse. Young Kailem unfortunately lost his brave battle with cancer two days ago, so this hunt is part of the treasured memories his family and friends have. Having a dog get tangled up with a roo was never our aim or intention and we were happy no animals were hurt in the incident." -Greg Bloom

>You gotta appreciate how incredibly detailed the description is

>>738312840
Pretty spooky to come across one. And if it bites you, you'll probably end up with some sort of disease.
>Burn your fucking house down

>>738313543
they are if they're hungry. all brown bear attacks are territorial, so play dead. but almost all black bear attacks are hunger related. so you better fight

>>738308934
fucking children dipped in Vegemite

>>738304859
FUCK YOU CAR!

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>>738307302

>>738313677
I walk straight up to those goobers. They just waddle away kek

>>738310240
>>738310307
it's a dog with air being blown at it

>>738310955
lion's mane jellyfish

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>>738313671
>It goes straight for the dick

>>738304063
I'm no expert but I think your only chance is to stand your ground

>>738314074
>Then he waddled away, waddle waddle waddle

>>738308934
>What the fuck do they eat?
>>738313843
>fucking children

Podestroo!?

>>738302806
They can hover, too? Mythical.

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>pic related

>>738309422
I've been fucked up by a housecat

∆
∆∆

>>738307139
Boom! Surprise buttseks!

>>738309677

I really want these pics to be bullshit...

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/1849377/terrifying-33ft-anaconda-discovered-lurking-in-caves-near-dam-construction-site-in-brazil/

>>738309377
grizzly bear IS a brown bear

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>>738306248
Brake Cleaner.
Stops those mother fuckers cold.
The chemicals in the cleaner literally shrink their outer shell instantly, squishing them.
Spray it on a nest of the fuckers they all die and never build a nest there again.
Turns out they don't like the smell of it either.

https://youtu.be/UB0Kn7MNeS8

>>738312840
got up to take a piss and one these fuckers was in my bathroom baring its teeth at me

>>738302391
Not very smart. Basically just a hulked out squirrel that is big and strong enough to ragdoll you

>>738308175
Really likes cock. Nice.

>>738302328
it squared up to him cunt.

∆
∆∆

>>738308537
you must be ignorant, aboriginal had the most sophisticated anti inbreeding checks.

>>738307139
fuck chink bitches are dumb

>>738302328
no he didnt he died a week later

>>738308323
Do you even lift, human?

>>738302481
post video of you punching grizzly bear

where the fuk my popcorn

∆
∆∆>>738315436

>>738313671
I feel like people are way more scared of geese than they should be. anything with a neck that large should be easy to kill

>>738309687
This is just a common woofer and a leafblower.

>>738302517
>underrated post

>>738306337
That's a duck

▲
▲▲

>>738309677
left one is a python, right one is an anaconda

>>738309377
nice dubs but a fucking brown bear is a grizzly you retard

I can only assume I'm the only one on here that actually had to use bear spray on one, but those things are fucking HUGE

>>738307139
Lion's just going to be hungry again in 30 minutes

>>738315914

kek

Underrated comment

>>738315914
kek

>>738313166
A black bear will eat you, and if it doesn't it'll fucking kill you.

>>738308390
I can make fire.

>>738306123
I'm lucky, my govt sprayed the fuck out of everything with DDT in the 1950's to eradicate these little fuckers. Now it is only the odd filthy backpackers hostel or roach motel in Sydney/Melbourne that gets infected. And I wouln't go anywhere near either place.

>>738315914
its a tiger.

>>738315807

> a fucking brown bear is a grizzly

Possibly a regional thing? Here in SoCal we have brown bears that are decidedly not grizzlies. Much smaller and more docile, at least as bears go.

I've come across one while walking the dog twice in the last week—this one was maybe the size of a large sheepdog, and just glared at us and continued munching on trash. They're startling to come across, but basically harmless. The worst they do is tip over trashcans and shit in people's swimming pools.

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These "civilized people"

>>738307822
i fucking hate these wee cunts

>>738307822
Cunts always try to steal my bait

>>738302481
That's not a small kangaroo, the guy is 6'7". Not to mention this was buy no means a serious fight with the kangaroo. It only backed off because there were 2 dogs around as well. If the guy tried to punch that thing while alone, it would have kicked him right away and he'd be dead on the spot. People don't fight kangaroos like that, that would just be stupid.

>>738316573
That was not a brown bear, It's a Cinnamon bear, which is just a Black bear

>>738309114
They don't smell fear. This is what they tell children. They see a defensive posture. Also, this is either a fake bear or a domesticated one. A wild bear would not apporoach anyone like that.

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>>738302481
>I've seen Grizzly Bears irl, they're not so big. I could probably beat the shit out of one tbh.

Either you're batshit crazy or you saw a 250# black bear and someone told you it was a grizzly. You could not beat one up. The most awesome elite hand-to-hand expert human being who ever lived would not stand a chance against one.

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>>738316796
if you give em tums I heard they explode

>>738308390
60,000 years with no real predators except Saltwater crocs... wow, real smart. there's snakes & a couple spiders, but nothing that you can't outrun by walking away briskly. Basically all they had to do was stay alert in or around water and they were alive.

>>738307302
Can someone post the potato face dude from toy story ?

>>738316971
Jesus, it's like the irony detector in your brain is faulty. Better see the phunny physician and get that looked at.

>>738317081
Calm down anon, it's okay. You're correct, he's an idiot. Just shhhh, it's okay.

>>738307822
They peck at my knees

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>>738301738

I crashed into a Kangaroo on my motorbike while doing a ride late at night 3 years ago.

Apparently Sharjah Ruler & Aussie Child Prostitute along with other stupids kept trying each few nights throwing their pet Kangaroo so that I tbon it.

The Roo became pieces. Destroyed Indian guy leg managed to cut it, one guy head was busted and other was in the floor. All were in shock.

Guys just word of advice, avoid Aussies. They're nasty evil Zionists. If they didn't try to kill you they would molest you/ur-niece or rape you asleep.

If possible just kill it and never bother. They're bad people.

Hint: you will always see Aussies lurking in Sharjah public schools raping little boys as Aussies are good friends to Shaikh Sultan. And they consider anyone except Aussies children just monkeys or toys that are fuckable.

>>738317411
You fell on your head from quite a height when you were small it seems.

>>738304063
>Everyone said I was lucky to be alive.

It broke 7 ribs and your arm in 9 places? Yeah, you're fucking lucky to be alive. If it'd spent about 5 more seconds thinking "how can I fuck up this weird rag doll some more?" you wouldn't be posting jack shit.

>>738308161
I live in a country without ailmony.
I married a bitch who loved sex & didn't want kids
Lots of bitches love bareback
When she left we divided our shit like adults

TL;DR fuck better bitches

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>>738306912
we all white

>>738316573
It is regional.
Colloquially bears are call brown bears when they live in mountain/interior areas and primarily live off of berries/roots etc. They stay fairly small, a couple hundred lbs, though they are still unpredictable and sometimes asgressive.
Grizzlies are brown bears who live in areas with plentiful protein, most commonly along rivers that salmon use to spawn, so they get much much larger.
Technically they are the same species, it's an offhand reference to their size.

>>738304063
one punch and I'd knock that thing OUT

>>738317081
saw that pic too but it kinda looks fake. i mean the paws and stuff.

>>738317573
This is an anonymous board, you idiot, you can't see what my head looks like

>>738317492
What? Can you try that again?

>>738311981
Ty lmao

>>738302390
This has to be a meme.

>>738315302
>~> then what happened

>>738317700
I think it's just an angle trick. Notice alot of the faggot trophy hunters always take the kill picture with camera low to the ground, with the hunter behind the animal. He's prolly 5-6 feet behind the bear, giving the illusion the bear is a genetic freak. Still a big bear though.
In my experience, guys who hunt for food don't take pictures of the kill. They aren't there for bragging rights, they're there for meat, and a picture doesn't give you meat.
I know I don;t take pictures, seems disrespectful to me.

>>738317956
Agreed.
It's the equivalent of cooking JUST to take a picture of the food, as opposed to cooking because you're hungry and not lazy.

>>738314069
creepy

>>738317956
mhhh, fair point.

>>738317946
shot it with a pellet gun, got it between the eyes, blood spraying everywhere but it was still alive, 3am and dont know where more pellets are. thing is still hissing and spitting and me while spraying blood everywhere, go get knife from kitchen and stab it in the back of the head, knife breaks off inside its head. still hissing and spitting even more blood going everywhere, get another knife from the kitchen stab it in the head again, knife is stuck in it's skull, pick it up and drown it in the toilet. bathroom looks like scene from horror movie, go back to sleep.

>>738310120
They defeated the Australian Army.

>>738316622
Yeah, but Maori's were way ahead of Aussie Aboriginals in terms of technology and culture. And they put up enough of a fight that they earned begrudging respect from the British.

plus the only combat soldier to ever win the VC with bar was a Maori.

>>738315302
It wanted to suck you off

>>738302427
Xenomorphs aren't animals...

>>738318821
Is it a plant?
everything alive that isn't a plant is an animal....

>>738318342
To be fair, the Australian Army was basically an extension of the British army at the time and the British had yet to adapt to 20th Century warfare tactics.

>>738304063
I remember reading this story of some "big game hunter" about a month ago, where he shot an elephant and the thing fell on him as it died and crushed him.

I scared my wife laughing at the situation. Such badass animals.

>>738307139
Lions: when you aren't sure you want a mountain lion or a bear.

>>738317220
You wouldn't survive two days in the outback, mate. Get fucked cunt.

Sorry if my Australian is a bit rusty.

>>738316573
What you saw was a brown-colored bear. A brown bear (Ursus Arctos) is a grizzly.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_bear

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>>738307139
“I left the passenger seat to take the wheel for my husband,”
http://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2059914/woman-mauled-tiger-beijing-zoo-hits-back-her-critics

>>738317492
go back to the desert, mahmoud.

>>738312010
True

>>738307302
what fucking filter does that to your face?

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holy fuck check my image

>>738310120
i was attacked by one of these during a drive thru zoo safari bs. was sitting on the window opening as a kid and this thing came up to me with its giant black eyes and started biting my hair. im lucky to be alive

>>738313569
>could easily disembowel the owner easily

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>>738301738
That kangaroo looks like the fucked up kid from that upcoming sensitive people movie.

>>738314069
weirdest looking animal ITT

>>738321462
>im lucky to be alive
...while the rest of us suffer.

>>738321419
Holy fuck eat a dick

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>>738321895
>Holy fuck eat a dick
Holy fuck, you're responding to a bot. How is your first day on the internet?

https://youtu.be/EAqB0iL1ZVI

>>738308390
I got dubs 4 times in one thread a couple of days ago. It was like Trump winning the election all over again. I pretty much came right then and there.

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>>738302481
Probably end up like this fucker

>>738309586
Abos can't use the internet. SMH
I'm a berger and even I know that

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#1 most deadly by total number of annual deaths caused is the Mosquito

>>738309357
Cassowaries are not aggressive. You have to actually corner one and threaten it for it to become dangerous.

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>>738301738

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Don't fuck with Hippos

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>>738309677
Pic related is a real fossil discovered in 2012

>>738324320
That one edgy faggot.

>>738321419
What was this?

Lesbians?

>>738324507
>real fossil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZyIG_jZzBs

>>738313671
Cameraman is a cunt

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>>738324623
Whatever you say, nigger.

>>738314537
You've never seen an African elephant in person with no fence between you. I bet you'd shit yourself.

>>738324112
I admit the alligator, elephant, anaconda and such are too big for me. but a Grizzly? or even a built Kangaroo? No way. I could destroy a Casowary, an Emu, any dog, although I admit a large male Chimpanzee would probably kill me.

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>>738307302

WHAT THE HELL?! What happened to her? Why does she look like that?

>>738324507
this is a viper. and a lie.

>>738321419
What was this image?

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>>738317081
God how i hate those huntingpictures and those guys in it.
He looks as if hed be tough. Id skin that old fuck alive and wouldnt need a weapon.
Bears are awesome and deserve a perfect life not ended by a looser

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>>738319949

>>738315607
Not even, you just grab their necks and pick it up.
It won't hurt them but it will embarrass them and they usually run away

>>738312840
One night I was walking home drunk from a party. and the quickest way was too take a railroad bridge. Well I was walking down the bridge and I thought it was a cat coming my way. Mind you this thing didn't even give a fuck I was coming his way and as we were about to cross paths I bent down to pet it and quickly realized it wasn't no cat. He didn't even hiss or get pissed he just looked up at me like u drunk motherfucker what are you doing. We went our separate ways.

>>738317081
I bet you that manlet's about 5'9", 170lbs.

I'm 6'3", 230lbs, all muscle. damn the rifle, I'd beat the shit out of that grizz.

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>>738309687
no thanks sir, i don't want to hold that!

>>738325320
their goals in life are to eat garbage and get hit by cars. i'm sure you could have given him a fluff or two.

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>>738307302
OC

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Y'all niggers think kangaroos are dangerous

>>738325766
litchrally can't tell the difference

>>738306441
I work as security overnight in an empty training facility out in the country in australia. Kangaroos everywhere. The fuckers just stand there in the middle of the road when i want to drive past them like "oi fuck you m8".
Cunts will easily rip open your gut if the kick you.

>>738310834
>tfw lover, not a fighter
Wish we had more of them genes than we got chimp genes.

>>738324939
you know nothing about bears do you?

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>>738324629
>Christians Against Dinosaurs

What was that image?

The snapchat shit.

>>738302483
Roomanian

Hello anyone?!?

What was that snapchat thing?

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>>738324629
Mfw the comment section

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>>738301738
they'll probably rape you before ripping your guts out!

>>738304063
YOU teaching English is the real joke here.

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>>738326162

Niggers

>>738317081
The dude is standing a few feet behind the bear to make it look bigger. The paws look huge because of the angle

>>738324939
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFMY4jJ6SVE

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>>738326399
Nice dubs but
>>738324320
Beat you to it.

>>738324939
>Bears are awesome and deserve a perfect life not ended by a looser

>>738326456
You are niggers.

I want to know what that snapchat thing was.

>>738326408
cont. However it is still fucking big

>>738302847
Aids is a killer

>>738326540
It was a picture of a dead raccoon on snapchat

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>>738301738
> Animals that will fuck you up

>>738316622

a good film btw. boba fetts family life is fucked up.

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>>738326635
what is that?

>>738320571

>I left the passenger seat to take the wheel for my husband

Did she not think to maybe wait until after leaving the tiger enclosure?

>>738324112

looks like pulled pork

>>738326682
It was two girls kissing and got deleted

>>738326769

a BBC

>>738326781
I'm not emo but I relly like crows. These birds are very intellingent qnd sociable.