Would you agree?

>>738299698
That's retarded. That's basically giving my hands to it. My best bet would be to kick it as hard as I can.

>>738299698
I can beat a dog in a fight. Attack the genitals.

>>738299878
>i have no knowledge of jiu jitsu at all

ALWAYS keep some chicken in your pocket for just that reason.

Idk hard to say, if it was a vicious dog say a pit bull and he tries coming at you I'd run but in other cases that would probably be the only option

>>738299698
Yeah. It has no defense if you're on top of it with your arms around its neck. Completely incapacitated.

Fuck that, kick it hard enough and when it goes down stomp it's skull in.

>>738299972
Of course I don't, I never said I did, that just seems retarded to me.

I could take a big dog. Like a 120lb pit bull. I wouldn't come out unscathed but the dog is at a disadvantage.

Now a 200lb wolf is a different story.

>>738299878
This, and always wear steel toes. it's an ez matchup.

I'd say most btards carry knives, too easy.

>>738299966
As I read this a car drove past my window playing Michael Jackson's 'Bad'.

>>738299878
you're an idiot. what defense does a dog have if both your hands are wrapped firmly around it's neck? you think it's mouth is going to do a 90 degree bend and somehow manage to bite your forearm? the toughest part is getting in close enough and making the fist move to get your hands safely on it, but trying to kick it is basically just offering your leg to be bitten and then dragged to the ground.

>>738299698
>if you ever get a fight with a dog
*get IN a*

If a dog is coming at you, step on its front feet. They can't stand that shit, and you can get them to keep backing up.

Where the fuck do people live where there are random dogs roaming the streets looking for fights? Live in better neighborhoods, people!

>>738300469
Well if you can actually do it you're golden but would the dog not just bite your hand while you try to do it?

>>738299698
spoken like someone who knows fuck all about dogs.

if you get attacked by a dog the first thing they're probably going to do is latch onto your arm. so your best bet is to take that arm and push it up and back while driving your other arm down onto the animal's neck. it's gonna hurt like hell but you'll probably break the dog's neck.

https://youtu.be/B9pWpT0WSrc

>>738299698
Shit I have +5 in animal control so that little fuck will listen to me whether it likes it or not.

>>738300531
Mexico

>>738300697
yep. you have to sacrifice one arm to keep their mouth off your neck/face and do whatever you can with your other arm.

>>738299878
So you're being attacked, and your plan is to get in a position to kick it? As it's ripping your skinny ass to the ground and snapping your twig arms from it's bite, you're going to kick it?

>>738299698
i carry a knife for a reason, cutting a throat is much faster.

>>738301378
Sure.

>>738300631
dogs are tough as shit, you can just kick one and think its gonna go away. You'll get one kick in maybe, they its gonna fuck you up.

>>738301378
Can't fix stupid.

Actually, I have stopped several attacks by doing the last thing in the world you would think makes sense: sticking my hand in its mouth. On purpose, but also WITH purpose: you gotta snatch it in there quick and grab onto the lower jaw real tight, so the palm of your hand is basically on its tongue, your thumb is sticking out one side of its mouth, and your other fingers are out the other side. In that configuration, you grip that lower jaw for dear life - and the dog (even a pit) will be unable to bear down on you.

I know, this sounds crazy, you think this is one of those "grow crystals with bleach and salt" trolls or something. But try it with a dog that is friendly. Rassle around and get him play-fighting, then snatch that hand in there and grip. It will struggle, growl, whine, and beg - but not be able to escape or bite you no matter how annoyed it gets.

The secret is in the way their jaws work. Lower is the only part that moves. You immobilize and control that, and they become powerless.

>>738301663
Not crazy at all. When I play with my dogs if I just put a couple fingers on the back of their tongue they back off so fast it's hilarious. Definitely seems crazy for anyone who may not have seen it first hand but it will make them open their jaws toot sweet.

My father was once told by a bank robber/domestic terrorist/serial murderer that when attacked by a dog, push your hand as deep in its mouth as your can, grab and pull as hard as you can.

>>738301663
I've read this a bunch of times and kept it in mind this one time a dog attacked me directly me, actually thought of giving it a try but panicked and punched really fucking hard in the face.

Luckily the owner was closer and called him back, didn't even give a fuck about me and that i punched his dog, must've been a shit owner anyway.

>>738301663
I have actually tried this too. It works, but I used a slightly different technique. I basically THRUSTED my hand down its throat, out of panic.

This was an aggressive street dog in India (which is very very rare). Not sure about the breed. I killed the dog. Got injuries and a small scar. Also had do go get rabies shot.

>>738299972
*tips fedora*

is knowing nerdy chinese boxing some sort of fucking expectation I'm not aware of?

>>738299698
You kick it hard in the chest, makes it stop breathing for like 10 seconds.
Anything else is fucking retarded.

>>738302036
Did the punch stop the dog or would it have still attacked if the owner wasn't there?

>>738301663
My mom taught me this trick when I was a kid, dunno where she learned it. First time I tried it I about shit myself, no lie. Dog was a mean old rottweiler, all snarls and snaps and teeth, and I must have been all of about 9 or 10 years old, eyes big as pie plates. I knew that fucker was coming in for a piece, so I waved my hand out in front of me as a target, and as he snapped for it I jammed it in there hard. The only injuries I got were from mashing my own damned fingers into his teeth so hard, he yelped and tried to back off but I had a death grip on it, and kicked the shit out of him while I held on for dear life. He was yowling when I finally let go and took off running. That was the last time that motherfucker ever came running out of his yard after me, too.
True story, peeps.

>>738299972
This

>>738302301
it actually stopped bitting i'm sure i hit it on the eye too, i doubt it would've stopped him since he just stood and walked to him like nothing.

I was just lucky the owner was there because that punch wouldn't have been enough.

>>738302145
>nerdy chinese boxing
Do you know what jiu jitsu is?

Guys, you are all full of shit, or you have experience only with submissive shit dogs. I would like to see one of you 1v1 my Akita, motherfuckers. He would eat you neckbeards alive.

>>738302131
>in india

the dog probably only gagged cause you put your filthy poo covered fingers in its mouth

>>738300697
for what its worth, they were talking about using jiu jitsu to fight off a dog, not just any random dog attack.

>>738302757
Maybe so if only because i wouldn't be able to bear to hurt based Hachiko.

>>738302316
A few years later I did it again when a dick from school was showing off and (being all cocky now with my magic dog trick) I didn't properly acknowledge the awesome deadliness of his German shepherd (translation: I was being a dick, too). So, predictably, he sicked the dog on me, and my little gotcha trick worked just as perfectly. I didn't hurt the dog that time, it wasn't being vicious, just obeying commands. I did scare it though, yelped when I caught hold and then when I yelled "What are you gonna do now, you little punk?!?" - Let it whine and yipe a little then turned it loose and leered at the owner.

Stupid pet tricks, I know - but it really does work. Also I was pretty much living the dream that day with respect to "cred" among the kids who saw it go down and couldn't figure out how I could be so tough as to grab an "attack dog" by the jaw and not get my hand bit off.

>>738302757
You are on, asshole. Tonight by the dairy Queen be there. Tell your dog he's fucking dead, no joke. I'll kick his ass and you'll be buying me a fucking ice cream after . It's on

>>738302808
I'm not Indian though. Would you instantly poo on your finger upon arriving in India?

>>738299698
Fuck joe rogan is a doooooooouuuuche

>>738303157
Yeah, it's part of the entrance exam actually. You have to demonstrate proper left hand water bottle technique. You know toilet paper is not a thing there, yes?

>>738303157
It is customary, can't leave the airport without doing that.

>>738303110
kek

>>738303266
I only go to 5 star hotels in India. Seriously, fuck backpacking. Also, they are affordable, so why not?

And yes, 5 star hotels has toilet paper.

>>738300080
Running is literally the worst thing you can do.

>>738299698
my best guess would be to wrap your forearm with heavy clothes and let the dog bite it, then with the other hand hold down the dogs head to the ground then pin it with your knee and you are home free.

>>738300485
Fuck off we all knew what it meant

>>738303370
You still land in the same shit-hole airport as everyone else though. And if you had ever actually been there you would know what it takes to clear customs, including the exam, including demonstrating proper left hand technique.

File: ATF.jpg (30KB, 334x750px) Image search: [Google]

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>>738299698
Might work for him but my response to a dog legit attacking me might get me hired by the ATF.

Winning against a normal house dog is quite possible for any capable human male. However, not even fucking Sly would survive a combat dog.

>>738303251
t. jealous as fuck anon.

>>738303528
No, try entering with a diplomatic passport.

File: joe rogan.jpg (217KB, 970x840px) Image search: [Google]

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>>738303818
Based!

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>>738303663
I am deeply disappointed. Here I thought we were having a real discussion about the interesting protocols you may encounter when traveling to certain foreign countries, but all the while you were just taking the piss and making shit up. That is so rude, anon.