What is /b/s deepest darkest secrets?

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>be me
>be seven
>piss all over my sisters bed
>blame it on the cat
>mom kills cat with brick outside
>mfw

>>738235437
I stole probably around 1.3k from my parents in high school to get gifts for someone I had feelings for, this happened over a span of 8 months. The girl ended up telling my parents but not the amount, so I only owed them 300

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I'm a black 6'5" college football player with a micropenis. It's almost 2 inches... Yeah feels bad, but I have sort of gotten over it a bit. But still get annoyed over the "BBC" meme.

Have many humiliating stories.

>>738235761
Big love bro, that shit can be tough but well done for dealing with it, peace

>>738235761
Nature can be so cruel. Sorry anon. Just smoke a weed called Black Widow....most amazing orgasms ever—you'll never need anyone.

Or find someone who is super skinny and accepting.

I don't want to kill myself I just wish I wasn't alive.

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When I'm not Making America Great Again I'm here checking some plebs and dubs

i steal flowers off the graveyard every Thursday for my wife, last Thursday nobody died nor did any family put any flowers down, first time in years i had to go to buy flowers.

>>738235761

If this is true, I truly sympathize with you, man. I used to be insecure about my own size even though I was perfectly average, if not above.

I hope you can find peace with yourself, /b/ro. I mean that.

With that said, feel free to share some stories.

>>738236413
ever get caught?

>>738235761
storytime

>>738235437
I NEVER click on YT videos that have 'Must See' in the title.

>>738235551
>mom kills cat with brick outside
What was it like growing up as white trash?

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My daughter and I fuck. Pic related.

>>738236836
how did it come to that?

>>738236836
Nudes?

>>738235551
>killing a cat for piss bed
your mon is a pshycho, dude

>>738235437
I did the old 'act like a retard when walking out a disabled toilet'

>>738236633
not even once, if there are people near the entrance i pretend to be in a rush and talk shit on my phone

>>738235761
USC or UCLA?

>>738236785
Good. Ty! Nice to know I'm not the only one. Now if only others were like us.

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>>738236938
Wife passed away. We got really lonely and really close. Started going on dates. Pretended to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Got drunk and kissed passionately. Everything unfolded from there. She's incredible in bed. Still has a boyfriend. But our thing is special and secret. I love her so much. And she makes me cum really fucking hard. Pic is from last night.

>>738236785
>Missing number 7 that will amaze you
Damn, son

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>>738236954

>>738237019
I'm able bodied, once I walked out of a disabled toilet, a fat pink haired woman saw me and freaked out. She said how dare i , that I was using a facility for people less fortunate. And should feel ashamed of myself being a man who knows nothing of discrimination for having no respect for people who suffer with disability. I said nothing just stood there and smiled. This just pissed her off more. Someone else walked over and started joining in.
At that moment my chair bound son wheeled himself out of the toilet. With his limited speech he said 'all better'.
I quietly told the women maybe I should've stayed outside. But I was needed in there to felt my son use the bathroom and wipe him ass. Didn't say it loud out of respect for my boy. Everyone else who had gathered around got the picture though and realised this woman was a stupid idiot.

She looked like she was going to cry.

>be me
>be a virgin
>be 15
>spend most of my day here
>grow up
>be 35
>still a virgin
>still here

>>738237554
OH the things you have seen. too bad no grand
kids to tell

>>738237554
Bullshit, 4 Chin Only exists since the 90's

>>738237741
that's 20 years ago

>>738237507
be proud man

>>738237846
;-)

I actually wanted to punch her in her fat hairy entitled lesbian cunt. I don't think anyone standing there would have had a problem if I did.

Happy I kept it civil and didn't match her level of screeching.

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>>738235437
I haven't had a paying job since 2008.

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I masturbate in public places, record it. then masturbate to the footage of myself

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>>738238297
BUMP

Made my waifu an RPG main character, feeling like I keep her safe every time she wins the battle, just jacked off imagining her saying how many times she shlicked on me while I'm fucking her hard, had a good cup of coffee post-coitus.

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>My roommate is hot as fuck
>she is 24 years younger than me
>We got drunk one night and ended up fucking
>I wanted to keep her as fuck friend
>So while she was sleeping in her room I put a fentanal patch on her back
>before she woke up I pulled it off and put it away
>she wakes up and can't stop talking about how good she feels
>says she's loyal to her boyfriend and can't happen again "a mistake"
>A week passes and we end up sleeping together again
>I do same thing and put the fentanal patch on her back
>again pull it off before she wakes up
>she wakes up and feels really good again
>this happens a few more times getting more and more frequent
>now she thinks she found true love with me
>when ever we have sex and sleep together she feels great the next day
>I'm to old she say's though so she keeps her boyfriend
>It's at the point now where I can fuck her any time I want
>she crawls in bed and sleeps with me every chance she gets
>fentanal patches went up to $160 each in my area.....

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I have a tendency to fall 'in love' with any woman (other than my mom) who talks to me for more than 45 seconds.

>>738238786
you sister ?

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>>738238786
:(
it hurts, doesn't it? do you wish you would find a girl who does the same?

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>>738238860
I was an only-child.

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>>738238927
Would be great. I haven't had a gf since 2005, and when I did, that relationship only lasted 2 weeks. At the very least, she's now a single mother of 2.

>>738238936
your gilf or aunties ?

>>738238786
Raise your standards a bit, /b/ro. You like natural ginger girls more than anyone else, maybe? Well, every last one woman on Earth who is not natural ginger is an inferior degenerate, starting now.

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>>738239016
Family members don't talk to me anymore.

>>738239071
That seems...counterproductive.

>>738235551
Jesus christ you mom needs medical assistance lmao.

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>>738237461
Sure anon. Don't believe everything you see kids

>>738235551
Is that doggo part fox?

>>738235710
Totally worth it.

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>>738238584

started fucking hookers again, 2 this week and one last week

>>738238762
dank shit my man
you're a programmer, right?

>>738239355
>>738238297
Do you actually think it's worth the risk of being registered sex offender?

>>738239135
It may seem so, however, I found myself 4x times more confident with people when I realized they are not my friends or waifus or someone else like that so maybe I should chill out and ignore how good their makeup is

>>738239355
You're my hero

>>738237182
you win

started talking to this 14 yo yesterday and will probably be meeting her soon to get stoned and have sex

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>>738238297
>>738239355
Nice. A fellow faggot?

The only reason I haven't killed myself from extreme depression and social anxiety is because I have a decent size dick and I enjoy the reactions I get from girls. I occasionally meet some girl on /b/ or /soc/ and we inevitably start talking sex, since this is 4chan and your chances of meeting a girl that wants anything else are pretty slim, and I enjoy the reaction when I finally send a dick pic. It's usually surprise.

That's about it, I have nothing else going on in my life that makes me happy, my hobbies aren't fun to me anymore, I can't stand most people I meet or talk to, and my family is just a bunch of stoners that whine about how bad their backs hurt and how I don't do enough to help out my "disabled parents" even though I pay most of their mortgage and do all of their yard work.

>>738238762
ugh, this is a crime, anon.

>>738239135
What the fuck did you do?

>>738239520
close

Communications engineer

entails a lot of programming access points and POIs

>>738239355
You look like an average chap, what happened to ya so you need to do this?

>>738239751
leave the place. Move.

>>738238594
Oh yeah and the main thing is I consider all this nice even though sometimes my brain sends an occasional distant scream like 'what are you doing with your life man'

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I'm not attracted to modern women. I have to use old school photos for fun time.
>pic related

>>738239886
I don't make enough to afford my own place without room mates. And room mates make me hate life even more. The last 7 have been batshit crazy.

The last one threatened to call the cops and accused me of being a squatter, even though she wrote me receipts for rent each month. She ended up getting evicted the same month I moved out because she was THAT crazy.

The ones before that were two guys, I stayed at my ex's place one night and when I got back in the morning everything in the house was gone including the fridge and stove that were part of the duplex. I ended up having to handle the landlord's lawyers even though I wasn't even on the lease technically.

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>>738238994
at least you know you're not unlovable or whatever.
Keep putting yourself out there; the risk of getting hurt is worth the reward of finding someone.

>>738240079
Me too, anon. But only because of the torpedo tits. I can't understand why women don't rock the torpedo tits anymore.

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>>738239135
ye why doesnt family talk to you? did u cum on ur mom or something

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>>738240268
I just think that women back in the day were more beautiful. Not just physically either. They had morals, knew what a days work was, and weren't huge attention whores.

>>738240632
>They had morals
And hairs in you know which places

>>738239752
and so?
we're going to live happily ever after

I raped my ex repeatedly. She was a big drinker and I would do everything to her when she passed out.

>>738242112
I think we all do that bro. Joys of drinking
Sometimes when my ex was passed out I'd cum in her, let my friends have a go they cum in her to and tell her in the morning it was me.

>Have fingered friends younger sister
>She has given me a handjob + short blowjob, had to quit or we'd get caught
>He's very protective over her, though she is legal and everything.
>She said next time she'll let me cum in her
>Not sure if I should

>>738238762
Nudes pls

I once woke up so drunk from the night before that i accidentally ate my own shit.

>>738243397
no photo's allowed she has boyfriend and she knows I posted nudes of one of my ex's when my ex fucked around on me.

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i transformed neighbors daughter into my fucktoy and much hotter chick then she used to be before

>>738244038
How much did the operation cost?

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNxumNXiBfp2DFzSxHMWpuA

hot and sexy

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>>738244038
do it to neighbors wife.
I did that 7 years ago, shit was cash until he found out.
Trying to get a quicky in on new years eve while he was in shower. Fucker left the shower going and came out for a towel and into their bedroom and caught me balls deep in his wife.

pic related

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>>738244260
kek'd. nah is not the operation, she developed naturally after a while. i just got her some nicer clothes and took good care of her, turning her into a girl that knows to dress and do makeup properly and be seductive as much as she can to use the benefits of her good body.
recent pic

>>738244508
does she allow you to fuck her face until she pukes?

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>>738244038
Turned this autistic chick into a hot slut.
before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gwgqaalP-8
pic now

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>>738243922
I will 4give you, for your nice dubs

>>738235437
I'm a poorfag and i beg for games online. I feel guilty while playing then beg again.begging for hitman season 1 now.

>>738244755
i can't be as harsh as i would like, and i also tend to be as nicer as i could to her, after all i am aware she can get someone younger than me so for that reason i treat her like a queen.
but yeah, except bj, she lets me grab her by the head and work my way in, so even tho not as hard as i would like but you can call it facefuck. and she doesn't have that sensitive troat so she rarely gags

>>738237741

Ugh newfags we came here from something awful in 2004

Just fuck off already

It's like the summer happened in 2010 and stayed forever

>>738245564
Permanent summerfagging?

Gtfo summerfag

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>>738235437
I took a spy cam video of my sis in the shower. Pic related, it's her.

>>738245905
God only knows how ugly you look

I fantasize about my niece all the time. She is only 15.

>>738235437
I'm an Asian trap. A few months ago I went to an anime convention outside of my city cross-playing as Aya Drevis and got hit on by these two guys. They took me back to their room where they brutally fucked me. It was my first time too...

I shot my neighbors dog with a 9mm glock 19 2nd gen and then put it in a trash can in my garage and cleaned up the blood in the yard by turning on the sprinkles while they were at work.


I was sick of hearing the dog bark while I was trying to sleep. They asked me If i had seen the dog and I said I saw it walking around another neighbors lawn a couple hours ago so they thought it ran away lol
Felt bad for about 1 day until I slept a full night without hearing a fucking dog barking, Then didn't feel bad at all.

thats sad as fuck

>>738247008
Bitch

>>738247239
It was a fucking dog, Who cares

>>738247008

>Things that never happened

i got a fetish for trannies

>>738247420
If I was making that up I wouldn't say I used a piece of shit gen 2 glock.

>>738247621
>Inb4 I'm a gunfag

I'm 22 and I got a girlfriend. We're together for 2 years now, she's a cute, hot and intelligent girl.

Deep inside I know that I don't want her to be my wife someday, it's just not that kind of connection. She's got too many issues and she's hella jealous.
But I enjoy being around her and honestly, having fun (especially sexually) with her.
I'll only care for what comes after when I finished University.

>>738245852

Dats da joke

You fucking newfag

This is why all the oldfags went to /pol/

I probably spent around 2500 bucks for hookers. And I fucked around 15 different prostitutes.

>>738247786
she has lot of time to change and be less jealous as you say, so why care about marrying now

>>738235437
I suffer from URC Biploar Disorder and not a single family member or even my girlfriend knows about it because i'm far too fucking scared to talk about it.

>>738248097
That's an entire Bitcoin. Kys buy Ark faggot

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>>738235437
I masturbated next to my crush during class back in 5th grade . She obviously caught me and i told her i was just playing with my pockets . Not a deep nor dark secret but a secret nonetheless

>>738247894
Hardly. I'm going to pol to become an oldfag now.

>>738248097
i spent 50k on camsites and am now broke

>>738248816
(Points) Ha-ha

>>738248097
Me too, but I might have made $7000 in a month with the Australian property market in my city finally lifting so xDDDD

>I'm 27, straight and confident enough to say I'm quite good looking as well as have a good personality. I talk to girls with ease, and have had many opportunities to have a girlfriend.

The thing is though, I don't want a girlfriend and I've always felt this way. I prefer to be alone and am pretty satisfied this way because I get to do whatever I want. Needless to say I'm still a virgin.

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i put a spycam in my mother in laws room and jerk off to her.

>>738236368
Source?

>>738239724
How old are you

>>738239751
I understand the depression thing completely I think about offing myself all the time, I have no friends and the things I used to love doing just feel ehh now. I have an amazing wife and because of her I know I'd never do it but it sucks feeling like nothing.

>>738244759
>fentanal
damn, that was a project that turned out well.
Well done sir!

i throw my sister's toothbrush on the toilet

>>738247008
Never happened, but if it did I hope someone shoves a pineapple up your ass.

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>>738235551
Thanks anon, pic related

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>>738235761
Damn, mate. I feel sorry for you. I hope you find a chick who could deal with that, much luck.

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>>738236836
Nice. I wanna fuck my daughter so bad. Getting back in shape and wanna seduce her. Pic related.

I just woke up to what reality is and now everyone's trying to fuck me

>>738235437
My best friend made me fuck him when we were 15.

>>738239724

Also, she told me she was an undercover cop

How fucking sweet is that for someone her age?

>>738235437
Sold a gram of fake weed to a friend. Tea mixed with tobacco. Tea smells like weed when lit.

>>738235710
you were stalking her or some shit? kek despratefag

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I have an arrangement with a girl, I pay for her pill addiction and let her chill at my place while fucked up and I get to do whatever I want to her.

>>738252502
idk what kinda bunk ass shitty weed you smoke lmao

>>738254098
what pills?