Story time, last night I called the cops on my step dad and I

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>>738174582
well, how about we do this. What are you looking to receive from this conversation?

I care (for some money. Jk)

This video should help you
https://youtu.be/xKkspGPsWcs

>>738174725
I mean more or less how to handle it and whether or not to press charges

I guess you need the story for context and it should at least be entertaining to read

>>738174735
kek

>>738174582

>I was 19 when I realized

It took 19 years to see your father's an abusive ass?

>I was invited by my mom to come get dinner while I was still at work
>I told her I wasn't going to be out until after 9, but she insisted
>I took my time getting there, but when I did, everything was chill
>I was talking to my mom and sisters inthe living room like normal
>step dad was just kind of sitting around looking angry, also like normal
>my mom was complaining about bullshit like she always does, talking about how she had a migraine and had to take meds for broken ribs
>my older sister, 18, mom, and I go into the kitchen for me to get the dinner that my mom packed for me
>my mom is gradually getting more pissy for no reason
>I'm trying to talk to them and I'm holding my pup and mom tells 18 to go outside with her
>I know she wants to talk about me, so I just wait
>they come inside and 18 starts to lead me to the door through the kitchen

>>738174945
it's complicated, I had already DYFSed my dad and so I was pretty dependant on my mom and I didn't want to leave but I realized I had to

>>738174997
>as we're about to walk down the few steps into the entranceway, she leans in and tells me
>"mom thinks you're high"
>immediately I start laughing because she tries to start this shit all the time
>mom hears me laughing and she yells at 18 for telling me what they talked about
>my step dad starts trying to get involved and asks her what she just told me
>I tell him that 18 can't say because mom just yelled at her for talking about things they discuss in private
>step dad starts getting mad, and it kind of incrementally gets worse when there is tension built up and he starts yelling at me
>"YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT BE HIGH"
>I tell him that this is ridiculous and mom tries to tell him that she's dealing with it already, like she was going to test me or something, I have no idea
>I tell him I just got out of work and he fucking goes "THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING"
>oh ok dumbass I was getting high selling fucking furniture yup
>it kind of just escalates from here because I'm fucking furious that they try to pull this bullshit
>"GET OUT OF HERE, JUST GO, I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS"
>I want to talk about this shit now because they can't just accuse me of shit like this for no reason
>I deal with my own shit outside of here and then I try to visit and this is the shit that happens
>"I'm fucking manic, not high, what's wrong with you"

>>738175125

No idea what DYFSed is

>>738175214

Kinda sounds like your Mum's retarded

>>738175214
>he starts to get more mad and kind of just starts repeating "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE THERE IS ALWAYS DRAMA WHEN HE'S HERE AND I'M FUCKING SICK OF DRAMA" in different ways
>my mom keeps telling him that her and I are supposed to talk tomorrow and it's going to be dealt with but I tell them no I want to talk about it now
>I'm still at the top of the few stairs in the living room and 18 is just telling me just to leave but at this point I'm too mad
>he starts to say "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE" with clear emphasis on "MY" and I can see where this is going
>this part gets a little fuzzy I think but as far as I know I walked down to the entryway and was basically going to leave
>he was still in the couch screaming but he might have gotten up at this point
>I'm not entirely sure, but as he started to curse at me and shit I think I said "fuck you" or something along those lines
>he freaks the fuck out and stands up and literally hurls this gate we have over the stairs for the dogs across the room while screaming
>I'm literally in the doorway with 18 about to leave and he, while still screaming, comes up into my face and yells to get the fuck off of his property
>I literally don't know why it got to this point, but now I guess I'm trying to prove a point
>He literally, I shit you not, starts counting down from 5
>we are in the doorway of the house, none of this has to happen, but because he's himself, he makes it worse
>as he's counting I say "You're counting? What the fuck are you gonna do?"
>he doesn't like that
>I swear to got he yells "THIS"
>for the first time in over 10 years that I've ever known him, he puts his hands on me
>he grabs me by either side of the collar on my shirt and throws me out of the door

>>738175244
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Division_of_Child_Protection_and_Permanency
Division of Child Protection and Permanency - Wikipedia

>>738175364
yeah a bit

i think op was high

>>738175244
Probably the same as DCFS?
Department of Child and Family Services

>>738175528

Guess he just mispelt it

>>738175374
>as I catch myself and get balanced I grab my phone and unlock it
>this is the first time any of this has any happened and I guess instinctually I got the phone to threaten him with calling 911
>he is SCREAMING outside basically telling me to get the fuck off of his property and like just getting himself more riled up
>I tell him I'm going to fucking dial 911 and at this point I think 18 disappeared but my mom is in the doorway telling me not to
>I think it would have ended here but he yelled "YOU FUCKING JERKOFF" and so I responded with "Go fuck yourself"
>it was pretty quiet, but he heard it and was FURIOUS
>he kind of was mumbling loudly while he ran towards me like a cartoon character and it would have been funny except he grabbed me and threw me again
>I kept my balance but he came up and did it again, screaming the whole time
>now I'm at the end of the yard next to my car and I dial 911 when I catch myself and tell them I'm fucking calling
>he is getting worse so I dial and I kind if back up to my car and the woman on the line is already talking
>looking straight at him I tell her what just happened and he gets more worked up, but now my mom is between us in the middle of the yard
>I am having a crazy adrenaline rush and on top of that I think an anxiety attack, so I'm like stuttering like a retard and trying to catch myself
>the woman is being great and telling me to calm down and basically I tell her the jist of what just happened and he is still screaming to the point that she can hear him over the phone
>my mom is trying to get me to hang up as far as I think, but I keep telling her that it was going to come to this
>he is pretty angry that I'm calling, and he goes inside and slams the door and is screaming in there with my mom
>I freak out and I tell the woman I have to go inside because this is the first time he's ever gotten physical and he's with my mom and my sisters are both inside

>>738175528
>>738175595
>summer is here
DYFS is the name it used to have, it got changed recently, unless that's like a UK name for it or something

>>738175716

Never heard the term used before, haven't been called a summerfag in years good lord.

>>738175716
Always been DCFS in Illinois as long as I can remember

>>738175631
>she's telling me not to and I'm trying to anyway, but before I can get in, they both come back out
>it more or less turns into a stand off where I end up at the curb on my car so I'm off of the property and he's glaring at me with my mom in the middle
>at a certain point he goes in and comes out with little sister, 10, who's sobbing and having a panic attack to make a bigger scene
>officers are being sent out and my mom is trying to talk to the woman and I take the phone back and just kind of wait in the street behind my car now
>sister is brought back in and he comes out again
>my step dad was yelling about how this is finally all going to "come to a head"
>I think he's honestly so stupid that he thinks he is going to be able to use my call to the police to somehow get me in trouble

>>738175631

Yeah don't really think the cops are gonna give a shit if you say "I refused to leave the property so he got me by the collar and tossed me out"

>>738175762
>>738175802
ok so I live inside of Chris Christies ass crack so it's fully possible it has different names in different states

>>738174821
sure thing man, reading now and ill get back to ya

>>738175936

I just went off what google said and the only thing mentioning your one was an urban dictionary reference

>>738175873
that's what you think

>>738175825
>I shit you not like 5 cops all pull up without lights as I wave them down
>whole thing again, I have to tell them what happened and the guy writing everything down goes to my step dad and then inside
>cops have never been so cool I swear to god they were the youngest most chill cops I've ever met
>basically my step dad tells them exactly what happened because I guess he thinks he is legally able to because it's his property
>but he's retarded
>I was invited to the house, and so I had legal rights to be there, and when he tried to kick me out, I would have been taken away for trespassing
>because he put his hands on me, he basically waived his rights and now was in the red
>the cops weren't writing anyone up, but they told me that I was able to press charges
>after that I basically talked for a good half hour with different cops about shit like
>I should just leave if he asks
>I'm an adult and have my own place so I should stay out if it's like this
>I have to have some sort of relationship with him to see my family in the house
>my mom loves me and isn't mad at me and still wants to talk
>I swear to god a cop told me that like
>"Your mom wants you to know that she's not mad at you at all and she loves you and you can even text her or go out to a diner to talk"
>one cop even said "you know if you are smoking a little to help cope with things just respect them and don't come over like that"
>like a police officer told me that
>I make sure that I'm good on legal grounds if she wants me to come over when he's not there and they say it's her house too so I'm fine
>I wait until the guy recording everything is done and he tells me just to go home and try to figure shit out a different day
>tfw none of this really was that shocking when it was all said and done

>>738176074
Yeah I honestly don't really know, but I am seriously considering pressing charges on him, not necessarily for him putting his hands on me, but more because now I don't think he can be trusted around my family if he's willing to do something like this

>>738174795
"LA CHOLO" and its the softest mexican dude ive seen in my life LOLLLLLLLLLLL.

>>738176301

If you do press charges he won't see any real jail time.

>he grabbed me by the collar
>why?
>refused to leave his property
>were you hurt in the process?
>no just my feels

and if you do that you can bet your bottom dollar that he's never going to let you set foot near your mother or sister again while he's at home.

Sorry but I really don't have pity for people that put themselves in the position of being married with a ticking time bomb and they get every warning sign under the sun and are like hurrr he'll change.

>>738175631
Anon, it sounds like you have a history with this man. He has given up his time and money caring for you, a bastard, and you are being so highly dismissive of him. From your posts it is evident that you're not very willing to admit fault even though you are at fault. Just ignoring his clear statements for you to leave his property alone is pure disregard for his authority. Seriously man, you have no idea how much he has sacrificed for his family. Not only that but from what you say, you also have a clear history of distressing behaviour. Claiming mania, your mother being concerned about you abusing drugs etc.

>>738176301
It could go either way, there is merit in both options. Either you get to see your family outside the house or when stepdad isn't around, or you could press charges because you definitely have a case

>>738175631
your dads in the right. You're a pussy and you need to learn how to box. fuck off faggot

>>738176588
he has no authority haha what a tool

>>738176074

don't press charges. that will just make everything worse for everyone. he wont do anything to you now because there is a record of all this already and he would look very guilty if he tried anything else.

your mom invited you over and then started accusing you of being high to stir shit up. your mom is the manipulator who caused the situation. avoid your mom and step dad.

>>738176661
>how to box
this fucker can't take a punch I'll tell you that much

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>>738176074
Alright, I'm gonna start answering based on having read up to >>738176074, if you update mid post I will try to respond.

First off, lets talk about the cops. Understand that when it comes to family issues, cops try to do their absolute best to remain non-biased. Its shown time and time again that picking a side (even if its the right one morally or legally) inflames these situations and while it may fix the situation temporarily, it doesn't fix it in the longterm, which is important for family based problems. so try to understand that.

Now, lets talk about your family. Your mom and the stepdad NEED to figure their shit out. There is obviously a break-down in communication (Your mom talking to your sister and not you about her suspicions, now shes just getting 18 in trouble and not helping anything, for example).
I dont know how long stepdad has been around, or if your mom is dependent on him emotionally or financially(Which in the event of marriage, should be a healthy mix of both, to an extent. As told by you, there is an imbalance)
A healthy family does not get into each other like this, violently should never be the end result of a discussion.
Your stepdad and your mom should definitely look into couples therapy (you mentioned anxiety and such, therapy could help you too.)
If they are refusing to that, they should consider divorce. A family needs to be able to talk to each other about their problems, not trying to hide it from each other.
I hope this info helps you.

>>738176686

This. She probably loves the drama.

>>738176728
>also me
OP, i also urge you not to seek advice from 4chan. its almost always troll posts, so you have to be capable of weeding out the nonsense.

>>738176492
no like she talks about divorcing him and how she doesn't like him and I literally don't know what's going on
I'm more concerned about if he's going to do that shit around my sisters
I was told by the cops that I had every right to press charges

basically the legality goes like this:
>illegal for me to go there without permission, but I was invited, so I was permitted access
>perfectly legal for him to ask me to leave, and he could have even called the cops on me to have them taken out for trespassing once he told me to get out
>him grabbing me and throwing me is kind of in a gray area because I could press charges for assault but if I had like broken in he could have legally killed me so like it's a but washy

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>>738176728

Not OP but sound advice anon

>>738176686
Yes, your mother seems to be in the wrong as well. I dont know if pressing charges would help anything, I would urge this as a last resort.

I recommend getting your family(18 and mom) to go out with you or something so you guys can seriously discuss this together.

>>738176953
> like she talks about divorcing him and how she doesn't like him
She needs to divorce him now.
Divorce is hard, and not easy.
Living with someone you dont love, being married to them, is much much harder.

>>738176953

Tell your mother to hurry up then. If she's just cocking about being a shit stirrer putting herself and more importantly her other children in danger to prove that he's being an ass then she's just as dangerous as he is. Go to a divorce lawyer with your mother or something but yeah get this shit sorted before she burns the house down to see how he'll react.

and yeah again he won't do real jail time for that, and if you're worried he'll do something now just wait until he's been cucked around in court in front of everyone by his stepson.

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>>738176953
also, like i said earlier. dont focus on the legality of it, dont focus on pressing charges. This will not resolve your issue longterm, which is what needs to be done. It will only incite things.

UNLESS: He is dangerous. Then he needs to be gone, and your family needs to be gone from him, because the cops wont keep him away.

>>738176686
but his dads a retard. Tact and facts like this don't get into the head of a person like that.

>>738174582

I know how you feel

my stepdad used to shit in a plastic bag and just sort of leave it lying around. stank up the whole building

im glad im out of there

>>738177228

and he needs to keep in mind him being grabbed and chucked doesn't mean he's gonna start abusing the daughters. But that being said I wouldn't want that ass hat near my family either

>>738176588
lmfao he's a lazy sack if shit and he relies on her because she makes the real money
their relationship is one sided, but he thinks he's in charge because he's a sexist asshole
he treats the whole family like shit except for 10, who has him in complete control
I have gone to outpatient program, have a therapist and a psychiatrist, and I am in control of my own life, but she makes these kinds of accusations to start shit
but it's cute that you think I'm out of control, thanks

>>738177288

Why not just by the little doggy poop bags?

>>738176616
I don't know how much a relationship I can realistically have with my mom if she lets this shit happen and go by, but I am going to try to see my sisters
honestly if he put his hands on me I have no clue when it'll happen to my mom or sisters, but it's clear that it's a possibility now

Why not throw fucking hands with your step dad

>>738177458
Please read these:
>>738176728
>>738177039
>>738177127
>>738177228

Wait... People really give a shit about weed? Either these are the most uptight faggots in the world or they just want something to start fights over. Only absolute faggots care if someone is high.

>>738177509
because then his family, and the law, have an argument as to why the father is right.

And the father is absolutely not right, and he needs to be able to show them that.

>>738177458

Except he didn't punch you, he didn't beat you for leaving the stove on, you stayed when he asked you to leave. He's not gonna ask your sisters to leave. There's a big difference between a 21 year old boy living away from home and a 18 and 10 year old girl living at home.

Also man get your oldest sister to take the younger one out and go see a movie.

>>738176661
lmfao
>implying that I should have fought him so we both go to jail
literally the cops like congratulated me for not doing that

>>738176699
haven't been in a fight, but I've been working out for one
he's in his 40s and fat and doesn't move and I'm 21 and literally in the best shape of my life

>>738176670
He has no respect from his stepchild. Not that he is not the authoritative head of the family. Know the difference.

>>738177648
Age does not warrant respect.
What the stepfather has done does not warrant respect.

>>738177576

Mother was being a shit stirrer. Also from my experience yeah the law and paramedics are really starting to not care about weed anymore which is really nice.

>>738176686
my mom definitely starts shit and there's no question about that, so I'm cautious around her regardless, been keeping her at arm's length for a while so she knows I can leave her life again whenever I want

>>738176897
yeah she has to

>>738176699
she's really bad at actually sorting ahit like this out, but I am going to try

>>738177283
yeah this is the main issue, we literally can't talk anything through with him because he pulls this garbage
it's kind of sad how stupid he is

>>738177387

who knows

hes a shitskin so i know what /pol/ would say

>>738177205
true it'll piss him off, but having him be tracked will either keep him from doing anything or make him snap and actually get into trouble, either one makes sure it's safe

>>738178177

You know how that can really happen? Your mother gets off her ass and gets a divorce.

>>738177127
>>738177205


dude if I could convince her to divorce her I would have years ago
this is technically her 3rd marriage and they've all been shit
>1st was for taxes
>2nd was fine until separation and then he remarried and turned into a raging prick and just recently we found out that he probably molested 18 when she was little
>3rd is retard with anger issues

>>738178177

so trap him

>>738177351
It is evident that there are issues anon, but if you really believe you are in the right you would be capable of mustering up the integrity to show respect to your parents.
You claim you have your life in order. If you are the bigger man then you could control your own emotions and communicate. Clearly from what you said, you too have a history of not listening and framing events in your own narrative.
It's vexing for anyone raising someone else's child to have them to take other people for granted. Additionally, to have to go through the same single-sided arguments with someone who does not communicate. Your parents have had their patience worn out. Looking to your younger siblings for justification is only grasping at straws for a self-service escape.
Be the bigger man. Forgive and get past it. Or keep it up. I'm giving you an alternate perspective.

>>738178483

She sure can pick em

>>738177710
That's irrelevant, considering it is the devotion of time and effort from him that should warrant respect.

>>738177340
yeah well that's pretty much what it boils down to, he's not safe to be around in general
>implying my mom is either

>>738177576
yeah they just want to start a fight
>my mom would tell me to go smoke to calm down
honestly the cops didn't even care which I was blown away about

>>738177641
the issue is that I was legally allowed to be there and he lost his legal grounds the second his hands touched me
also we are going with my gf to see spiderman on sunday yessss

>>738177648
fucking kek

>>738178804

Yeah except you were refusing to leave his property and you're an adult male so I'm not shocked he literally threw you out, doesn't mean he's gonna hit your sisters.

>>738177733
yo thank fucking god

>>738178525
The dudes 21. The dads 40.

Who between the two should be more in control of their emotions? which of the two turned to violence

>>738178494
what do you mean?
>mfw my friend told me she'd plant on him to get him arrested

>>738179091

Think the world is finally understanding pot isn't that bad

>>738178661
yeah...man fuck my life

>>738178699
yo man chill what is your step son pissing you off too?

>>738178917
see:
>>738176953

>>738179492

I'm that same anon and yeah point still stands, just cause he wants to remove his punk ass step son who's refusing to leave (cause that's how he sees it) doesn't mean he's suddenly gonna put his hands on the girls. There's a biiiiiig difference.

gonna go ahead and volunteer that i didnt get along with my step dad for a long time, but after i got older we were okay. when i got into a bad situation later in life, he was largely the one who helped me through it

>>738179603

and what was said bad situation?

>>738179350
Thanks for the chuckle. It's easy to sympathise with his old man imho, given that OP is coming onto a troll board with a prepared narrative to garner ego strokes. Meanwhile the guy is in a straw man position.

>>738179132
When you tell another to leave your home and are levied with verbal abuse, do you honestly think you are not entitled to eject them from your property?

>>738180427
OP's step dad confirmed

>>738180427

Agreed, never liked the whole 'ohhh assault' the second someone touches them.

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The internet was a far better place when white trash didn't have computers

Also, jesus christ grow the fuck up

>>738179816
eh, i'd rather not go into it. it took a long time to get through and i needed a lot of help, though. thankfully did not end up just killing myself, although that was an option i seriously considered for a long time

>>738180901

So this man literally helped you back from the point of killing yourself? No wonder he wanted you out when your drama loving mum spoke through your teenaged sister about you being a pot head. Christ.

>>738180427
hahahhahahhah
>levied with verbal abuse
top fucking kek thank you for this

>>738180617
fucking lost it

>>738180855
>the second someone touches them
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/assault-battery-aggravated-assault-33775.html
Assault, Battery, and Aggravated Assault | Nolo.com

>>738181015

i'm not the OP, dumbass. i was just telling the OP that one day he might get along with his step dad. and maybe some day his step dad might help him out like mine did for me.

>>738181015
yo are you retarded that's not OP

>>738181209

Yeah I get what it is but you're acting like he beat your ass for no reason.

>>738181257
>>738181267

Could have just been OP volunteering the information

>>738179208

dont mean anything but it sounds like a trap

>>738179208

You friend underaged? Cause if not the law won't care

>>738181441
dude what

>>738181583
plant drugs retard, not her fucking pussy

>>738181392
>Could have just been OP volunteering the information

not really since it doesn't fit at all with OP's story

>>738181751

Whatever