ITT we live in a lunar colony.

>>738111906
Op should be executed for wasting oxygen.

fuck the earth we must, bomb the shit out of them we can!

I really wish they didnt let niggers in the colony. Then we wouldnt have to deal with OPs bullshit

>>738111906
I lunar bounce my sperm to vacant moon pod #1322

>>738112983
fuck sake I hate to agree with the space niggers on this one but... hes right you know!

>>738111906
Alright
Serious question

WHO THE FUCK SHAT IN MY SPACE HELMET


DEAR FUCKING GOD ITS ACTUALLY DIARRHEA

THERE ARE CHUNKY CURDS FLOATING IN IT

THE SMELL OF SPICES OVERWHELMS THE SMELL OF THE SHIT ITSELF

PAJEET, YOU BASTARD

YOU HAVE NOT BECOME A SUPERPOWER BY 2020

Pocket moon dust!

>>738113335
AT LEAST I DON'T SPEND MY TIME SUCKING DICKS IN THE BATHROOM AT OLIVE GARDEN. YOU DIRTY LOWDOWN SLIMY FILTHY DISGUSTING GLUTTONOUS HOGLIKE MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING SON OF AN INCESTUOUS PEDOPHILE SHEMALE RAPIST PROSTITUTE. GET YOUR MOM'S DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? I'M GONNA SHIT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS. STOP FOR A MOMENT AND REALLY GRASP THAT STATEMENT. I AM LITERALLY GOING TO SHIT UP YOUR ASS. I WILL TAKE MY PANTS OFF, RIP YOUR PANTS OFF, OUR SPHINCTERS WILL TOUCH, AND I WILL SHIT. YOU WILL TRY TO COUNTERSHIT. BUT MY SPHINCTER WILL OVERCOME. AND I WILL PUSH A LOG OF SHIT FROM MY ASS UP INTO YOUR BODY. THIS IS WHAT SHALL OCCUR WHEN I FIND YOUR KEYBOARD FUCKING FACE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I WILL PISS INTO A POT. I WILL ADD CORNSTARCH TO THE PISS AND BOIL IT UNTIL IT GETS REALLY THICK, LIKE SAUCE. I WILL POUR THE THICKENED PISS INTO A PLASTIC CONTAINER AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE UNTIL IT HARDENS INTO A FIRM JELLO. THEN I WILL THEN CUT IT INTO RECTANGLES. BATTER IT IN A MIX OF MILK, FLOUR, AND EGGS. AND DEEP FRY IT AT 375 UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN, FLIPPING ONCE SINCE THEY FLOAT. AND I WILL SERVE YOU MY DEEP FRIED PISS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING SUCH A FAGGOT. COCKMUFFIN

>>738111906
[spoiler]aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou [/spoiler]

>>738113555
I have no objections, but only because you got trips.

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>>738113555

>>738113679
John Madden!

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>>738111906
Hey guys mind if my sister here stays with us?

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>>738111906

>be me
>sellin the dankest fuckin space weed to aliens n
sheyut
>gettin my dick sucked by hot space bitches
>MFW

The next shipment from earth gets here tomorrow, I swear to fuck if it's full of dragon dildos again I will find the bastard who thought it'd be funny and drown him in the fucking sewage recycler

>>738113891
we are literally 384,400 km away from earth

how the fuck do you expect her to get here?

it costs more than $500,000 to get one person on a spaceship.

Then there are the costs of the space ship itself, the launching, the cargo, everything!

We don't even have another cargo shipment for another nine months!

>>738114100
>>738114096
>tomorrow
>nine months

WHICH IS IT!?!?!?!

>>738114159
Dubs overpowers singles.

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>>738111906
Give me back my lunar spice you nerf herder!

Downvoted. You're exactly what's wrong with circlejerk. Instead of posting satire, mocking reddit and being clever and original, you continue to post lame phrases and beat to glue anything that was even remotely funny, all under the guise that you want to show what's wrong with reddit. You don't care about reddit. You belong to the system that this subreddit was made to mock. You seek karma. You seek to be a power-user, a well-known name in a sea of perpetual anonymity. The higher your karma-count, the more you get off on it. You are smug and self-satisfying. You are the problem. There should be a "delete" button below your posts. Start clicking them after you post and you'll find that reddit starts to improve.

>>738114100
Sorry my question was a tad bit rhetorical...I mean that I smuggled her on the ship when we launched...PLEASE DON'T TELL ON ME!!!

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I am having my moon cabbages, and minding my own business.

>>738114159
How long have you been here, freshie? The shipment arrives tomorrow but it sure as shit didn't leave last night. You sleep on the ride over or what? She won't be able to make it until the next shipment comes.

And I tell you what if I find her in my spice shipment I'll slot your God damn throat.

>>738114318
We have literally no use for her.

We planned this shit two years ahead of time, and have all possible roles needed filled. We have a botanist, we have a physicist, we have a geologist, we have a surgeon, we have a head of operations. We have all personnel we need.

Can we make a new season of firefly finally?

>>738114550
Well what do you suggest we do to her?

>>738111906
Hey guys I think there's something wrong with the Carbon Monoxide Detector. It's been going off a lot lately and I'm a bit worried.

I sent a full report to Dr. Fritz but he hasn't gotten back to me, and I recently found out that he blocked me.

What the fuck is going on?

>>738114604
Send her back to earth

>>738114679
...or

>>738114604
There is only one thing I can think of, and it comes in the form of a question. It is a question that always arises when a new thing is discovered, that humanities curiosity has always forced us to ask.

Can we fuck it?

>>738111906
>Ctrl F
>"TANSTAAFL!"
>No results found
This moon colony sucks. You fags need to read more books.

>>738114673
Did you try hitting it?

>>738114736
Or else

>>738114763
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at high school, and I’ve been involved in numerous /r/atheism frontpage posts, and I have over 300 confirmed facebook debate wins. I am trained in theology and I’m the top debater on this entire website. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of atheists across the Scandinavian peninsula and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can convince you that god doesn't exist in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare intellect. Not only am I extensively trained in debate, but I have access to the entire arsenal of my local library and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of this website, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, skytard.

>>738111906
WE'RE SAILORS ON THE MOON!

>>738114758
Well she is single but there is a slight problem...I'm sure its fine nevermind

>>738114801
No. I tried talking to one of the head engineers but he just said "don't worry, everything is fine. No need to press the issue further" but I feel like it's not suppose to be going off that much.

Head Engineer bainlen won't authorize a CO test either. He said there "isn't a need for one".

>>738114937
Try hitting it.

Did it work?

>>738115046
I'll try hitting it then.

>>738114909
We carry a harpoon!!

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You guys wanna buy some deathsticks

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>>738114861

>>738115138
BUT THERE AIN'T NO WHALES

>>738114937
You should not be talking about this. I told you SPECIFICALLY there is no need for a test. Now take your moon pills.

>>738115229
SO WE TELL TALL TALES

>>738115255
AND WE SING OUR WHALING TUNE

>>738115231
THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSITORIES!
ffs

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>>738114937
Uh...sir...the head engineer's quarter doors are locked...

Okay guys there is something going on.

I just went to C wing, Engineering department, to try to fix the Carbon Monoxide detector, but the area is closed off. I tried my access keycard but it won't let me in. One of the security staff made me leave, said I didn't have authorization.

The entire wing is sealed tight, and security won't let me near it.

i'm calling Dr. Fritz directly.

>>738115137
Okay, so you hit it.

Did it work?

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>>738115231
But mommy~! I HATE those moon pills! They make me feel... [spoiler] HIGH! [/spoiler]

>>738111906
Hey guys I just took waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much acid and I think its gonna be one of "those" kind of trips. Im freaking out man, tell me its gonna be ok.

>>738115300
Can you see anything in the office?

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>>738115300
Normal operating procedure. Nothing to worry about. Forget about it.

>>738115429
I couldn't get to it anon. C wing is sealed off!

>>738115487

you gon b fine

just don't interact with the outside world, stay on 4 chan

I'll walk over to Bainlen's office and see what I can find.

>>738115529
If you can't hit the carbon monoxide detector, then we're basically all fucked.

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>>738115489
I took a picture before the shutters on his windows activated...He was doing this to the Carbon Monoxide generator...

>>738115689
>carbon monoxide generator

WHY IS THERE A CARBON MONOXIDE GENERATOR

>>738111906
This place would be pretty nice if only the space niggers hadn't crashed here. Guess we're the ones to blame for that...

4Chan will keep you safe. 4Chan is an all-accompanying and warm and safe protective site for you to rest in.

[spoiler]jk faggot[/spoiler]

>>738115750
For the trees? Are there trees up here?

>>738115750
Because we might need to use carbon monoxide for...

Something.

>>738115809
You're thinking of carbon dioxide, not carbon monoxide.

>>738114673
stop exhaling, that'll fix it.

>>738115850
Dammit!!! You're right. Sorry guys. I ordered the wrong gas.

>>738115750
Wait a minute...check the engineers laptop. He left it in the mess hall...look under assignments

Dr. Fritz is not answering the communicator.
Head Engineer Bainlen's office is locked.
C wing is sealed completely and access is being denied by security.

And to top it all off, the Carbon Monoxide detectors that were going off are still in C wing, and I can't hit them.

Im playing as claptrap :^)

By the way, what is the age of consent here on the moon?

Just asking for a friend.

>>738111906
>There will be that one dumbass that will put a breach in the wall/window and stick his ass over the hole.

>>738116008
Heading there now.

>>738116097
Depends.... What country are we a colony of?

>>738116097
Conception

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>>738116043
>Claptraps are Master Race

>>738111906
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA7ObdXgCBk

>>738115963
GOD DAMN IT HOW ARE WE GONNA CULTIVATE THE WEED YOU FUCK!?

>>738116097
An international treaty said that no nation can claim land on any place that is not on Earth, therefore, there are no laws up here.

However, we still have the captain acting as the head of state, if you will, so we technically kinda live in our own little moon country. Pretty sure an age of consent passed right over the captains mind when thinking of all the rules.

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>>738115963

>>738116238
Oh well in that case..
>>738114927
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

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>>738115963
Wrong gas?

Back when I ran my own little place, I never had that mix up!

>>738116389
I'm sorry anons...but I must confess something. I bought my sister as a surprise for you all but not the experiment. Yes this whole thing is an experiment. Gather a bunch of /b/tards and put them on the moon with only this trap as something to fuck. The gas is actually a chemical made to make you all horny. I'm sorry for my trickery

>>738116217

It's cool guys. We can still get carbon dioxide. We just have to use our oxygen supply.

2CO + O2 = 2CO2

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Strange, I thought the gas smelled like fish...

OFUKWAIT

>>738116854
that is dicarbon dioxide.

Carbon dioxide is CO2.

>>738116974
dicarbon dioxide is C2O2

2CO2 is to parts carbon dioxide (2 times CO2)

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Oh now, we are being invaded by Gay Niggers from Outer Spaace

I managed to make my way to the mess hall. I was almost intercepted by security. I slipped the computer into my bag before they saw me, and they began asking about he computer. I told them that I was delivering it to Engineer bainlen, but they said they needed it now and that they would take it to him.

Luckily, I had mine with me, so I gave them mine instead. I have the laptop. I'll try to find out what I can,

Something is going on here.

>>738116187
The guy who sent us here was from some shithole in Africa, and he declared this colony be named after his birthplace, so I guess we're Madagascan, or somefuck like that.

Most of Bainlen's files are password protected.

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We need to notify security immediately

ahhh Guys? I Found 3 Screws near to the mainentrance membran, anyone knows whats up with that?

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>>738111906
Anyone want to buy some moonstones?

JOHN MADDEN. JOHN MADDEN. JOHN MADDEN.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU. AEIEU. AEIEU.

>>738111906
Hey Zo.

I just read Wang's report on Sector 329 and I think we have a problem in C-Bay. Residents are exhibiting odd behavior, well odder than normal all things considered, and the last round of blood tests seemed funny to me. It's not that anything was wrong but...something just felt a bit off. I don't know.

Anyway, at first I thought the behavioral oddities were the usual space-related quirks, you know the whole space-cabin fever thing or whatever, but the work evals and daily logging are showing some strange results. There's an increased work efficiency, up 75% in the past 2 weeks and I swear I see a pattern in the daily logging. People are confirming to nearly identical schedules and things are getting pretty quiet. C-Bay was always one of the more animated groups and I felt like I was completely alone when I passed through today.

I started looking into recent projects C-bay handled and nothing stood out, but then I remembered a small team was dispatched over to Brooke's lab to help his team with that whole Specimen VII thing. Juarez's team showed the first signs of increased efficiency and within 3 days were following the same schedule. Eating at the same time, drinking, using the bathroom, going to bed. Vitals show they all fell asleep at the exact same time. That's not normal. Over the next few days the rest of C-Bay begins to display the same behavior.

I know the powers that be are going to over look this. All they'll see is increase efficiency and give themselves a raise. I know it's asking a lot but could you pull the records for Brooke's team for me? Maybe I'm just paranoid but I've got a feeling in my gut that something just isn't right here.

Thanks,
Sheridan T.