*Sits across from you*

*smiles*

>>738089908
Cum and start farting

>>738089908
"D-do y-you like memes?"
>guaranteed pussy moistener

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>>738089908
>massive forehead
>straight hair when curly hair is objectively better
>red hair is also objectively better
>no freckles
Why would anyone shoot for this

>has earbuds in
I say nothing.
>looking directly at me
I stare back.

Your move, madame.

>starts fingering my crackhole while humming the theme tune to Animaniacs
Your move OP

Look away or pretend to fall asleep, avoid any kind of interaction and be sad when she gets to her stop without talking to you

User chlorophyll

>>738090444
Trips of truth right here

"Bonjour"

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>>738089908
no hijab?

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>>738090444

Too much truth

>>738090444
yup

>put jacket over lap
>masturbate furiously

Spaghetti all over her feet, bonus if she's wearing sandals.

>>738089908
*doesn't make eye contact with other people while riding public transport unless it's necessary*

>>738089908

"Nice coat retard"

>what I meant to say
What are you listening to?

>what I actually said
Do you like anal sex?

*keeps watching Yakuza 2 full playthrough*

>>738089908
*tip trilby*
M'lady

>pulls out 9 inch dick and starts jerking it

>>738090444
Same here..

>>738089908

*punches her and leaves*

>>738089908
"Bitch do you know how many other empty seats there are?"

Let the fapping commence

>>738089908
*moves because anxiety and autism*

>>738089908
>be me
>hit on her
>try to hook up
>if she rejects
>cause a scene on the bus calling her homophobe
>how dare she assume my gender
>win the people over
>????
>profit

>>738090232

I haven't seen someone justifying their fear of rejection this hard in a while

i'd look at her, not even smile, as soon as she looks back l would look away, she would notice, i'd then not turn my head back to her and begin to fake fall asleep and wait for her to get off at her stop, but my stop would ome first and i'd have to fake wakeup somehow knowing it was my stop and get off the train but l know it would be my stop because of autism and counting how many times the train stops. l would then think about her for the rest of the day and want to kill myself, meanwhile she is getting fucked that night.

>>738092779

#kekt

>>738089908
"Have we met?"
"No"
"Huh, couldn't sworn you were the girl of my dreams. My name's Anon."

>>738089908
take a picture of her to ask what /b/ would do when i get home.

>>738092979
2/10

>>738092845
You must be new here.

>>738093009
Unless you got some tits and a timestamp, I don't value your opinion, bitch.

>>738089908
YOUR HOT!

>Yes, I'm in it now bois

"Hey there, newfag here"

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>>738089908
just fuck with her when she's not paying attention.
she can either leave or communicate with me, either way my nerves will calm

Stand up and pee on her and say "hanassholesolo rules"

>>738089908
Tell her 'tits or get the fuck out'

>>738089908

>get some lint from my pocket
>hide it in hand
>stare at her forehead
>let her catch me looking at her forehead
>see if she reacts with some kind of "wtf are you staring at?" move
>say "you have lint in your hair" which she probably can't hear because of earbuds
>if she removes earbuds to hear what I have to say, then reach over and pick the fake lint from my hand.

repeat for the lulz, see if she laughs, switch up to an interesting story

>>738090444
Bingo.

>>738089908
*hides under seat*

>>738092979
Bro... Just.... no. This isn't 1845 anymore. Most of us here are spergs but it doesn't take a chad to know that line will never work unless you look like Brad Pitt.

>>738089908
>gets nervous
*poots*

>>738093594

>pick the fake lint from my hand.

i meant pick the fake lint in my hand from her hair

after the second lint move, I'd neg her about her inability to wash her clothes

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>>738090444
Jesus fuck
This is my life in a post

>>738089908
Say "our future kids will look lovely" then give the creepiest smile I can....so just smile.
Put legs across seat and relax. The fuck she think she is taking up my leg seat ?

>>738093787
Well, at least she'll leave me alone.

>>738090444
trips dont lie

>>738093358nice pussy

>>738090232
Because unlike you we don't go for whales or your mom. We have standards...they are not high, but they are there.

Make eye contact.
Run my finger through my hair and lick my lips,
Confidently Say
"Umm, excuse me - I couldn't help noticing - that seat is reserved, could you please sit somewhere else? Kay, thanks."

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>>738090444
I wish this wasn't what I would do... but it is...

>>738089908
is clearly a robot.
I tell her so.
she crushes my head with her kung-fu robot grip.

>>738089908
Say daaaang your all sorts of pretty.
Say my name, mention how my gf has a similar jacket and she loves it.

Girls hate it if they think your not available.

>>738089908
*pull 3 inch bitch splitter out from cum stained sweatpants*

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>>738090232

>>738091021

underrated post

>>738090113
>>738090171
>>738090571
lol this because plants amirite
>>738091223
>>738092086
>>738092981
Only correct answers itt

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>>738089908
*kisses qt trap bf*

>>738089908
"Can i drain my balls in you?"

>>738094287
Here's your (You). Faggot. Just come out of the closet. It really does feel better.

>>738089908

what are you looking at you stupid bitch?

>>738094182

"DANG UR ALL SORTS OF PRETTY, MY NAME'S CLETUS, MY GIRLFRIEND/COUSIN/SISTER HAS A SIMILAR JACKET"

>>738094438

I'll take your word for it

>>738089908
*sweats*

>>738089908
Turn 360 degrees and walk away

>>738089908
Wait till she gets off then sniff her chair while jacking it

>>738089908
If it's anything like the gym, the earbuds are a good indicator that she doesn't want to talk unless she speaks first. Stop being fucking creeps and learn how to social, faggots

>>738094537
Mock if you want, but it works 80%of the time.

Give it a try you might actually kiss a girl for once in your life.

>>738095392
This unless she makes some kind of move. I bet she's looking at the camera wondering why the fuck some neckbeard is taking pics of her

>>738095726
Your cousin only dresses like a girl ...he's not one though

>>738089908
*pull out my sex offender status card*

>>738092979
"Yeah... Anon... sure... hold on, I have to make a call." *start calling 911*