ITT: Famous girls you've fucked.

>>738010300
Sure...

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>>738010300
At a party at Notting Hill Carnival years back. Her feet smelled.

>>738010759
go to bed donald

>>738010609
Was she a good fuck?

Got nude vids from some YouTube chick

>>738010609
Lol. No you didnt

>>738010852
I want to believe.

>>738012423
No way!! Story?

>>738012479
We went out for 2 years. We broke up when she got a new job. Not much else too it.

Fucked Madonna in 1996 in Manhattan. Was invited to suite smoked pot drank a lot of champagne and fucked the hell out of her. She told me I was amazing. I had to sign a non disclosure agreement.

>>738010300
Just stop. No one on this gay ass website fucked anyone famous or fucked anyone at all. Stop.

>>738011148
Who?

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This thread is full of bull shit

Does doing Borat in the ass count?

>>738012587
not with that attitude anon

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Fearne Cotton at some poncey party in Finsbury Park in 2008 or 2009, can't remember.
I've told you assholes about this maybe 5 times in the last 8 years. At first nobody believes me, but after like a fucking hour of meticulous interrogation you do. I cbf this time, so take it or leave it.
I also once gave Melissa Joan Hart a box of chocolates I'd wiped my dick on

>>738012948
>
Did she swallow?

>>738013018
Her creampied cunt did I guess

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>>738010300

>>738010300
Moar hot picks of this chick you amazing US citizen?

>>738012948
>I also once gave Melissa Joan Hart a box of chocolates I'd wiped my dick on

Who hasn't?

>>738013088
Anal too?

>>738013018
Oh you mean Melissa? Kek. No idea, she took them and fucked off

>>738013094
Grande?

>>738013121
Nah. I lasted maybe one minute. No time for further exploration

>>738013094
Lmfao. You wish.

>>738012948
>I also once gave Melissa Joan Hart a box of chocolates I'd wiped my dick on
She deserves it for God's Not Dead 2.

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>>738013182
Pic rel8d
>>738013219
Prove I didn't

>>738013300
Give us a place and date.

>>738013317
Southampton, next Thursday 13th July

>>738013317
Place: balls deep avenue
Date: was balls deep in her sticky date, m8

>>738012423
>>738010609
>unenthused handjob

Had sex with Imogen Poots some years ago

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Long time ago, I moved out of LA before she got Dark Angel

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>>738012948
So what's the story? Seems odd to me I'm not saying your laying just seems a little bit exaggerated

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>>738013300
>Prove I didn't
You made the claim, you provide the evidence. The default position is that you didn't.

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>>738013219
LOL u jeolos pal??

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>>738013568
Kek you sweaty fat cunt, just remember little Ari's head choking on my massive cock

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>>738013499
Did you break her bones?

>>738013490
Lol. Sure ya did

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No bid deal actually because she is/was so easy laid, but, well, that's my story... Last year, she was party favors at some college frat party. She was really drunk and half passed out, around seven guys were taking turns with her in a bedroom upstairs, letting any guy do anything to her they wanted. Some fellow told me she was there and guys were willing to share after all they were satisfied, so I went. There was cum everywhere and her vag and ass were so loose that it was not too funny, but at least I can say I fucked some famous Hollywood chick.

>>738013709
>my massive cock
I'm guessing you have a micropenis as well.

>>738013709
greentext

>>738013799
Kek

>>738013799
Look at how jealous you are..
Its okay man just chill out..

>>738013778
THIS. BE LIKE THIS GUY.
He provided a story and that story has actually been confirmed through other anons

>>738013864
You have a tiny dick. Prove me wrong.

not famous or really a celebrity , but was fucking a news reporter here in Louisville for a few years. blond divorced was a mom too. Really a good fuck too, kinky as hell

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three-fiddy back in the day

>>738013896
>confirmed
Right. Like how aliens have been confirmed because a bunch of people told the same fictional story.

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Chloe was a complete dead fish. Her vagina smelled bad.

>>738013949
Still better than tiny dick going on and on about his wet dream of Ariana. At least this has some sort of story to it.

>>738013896
Probably anon is shitposting, but he told us a story. The point of that kinda thread is talking about having sex with celebrities. Posting just a random pic or "I'm fucked this celeb" is just stupid.

>>738014017
Not something to be proud of m8. Shes fuckin ugly

>>738014094
I know. I said that here>>738014053

>>738014053
True. Works of fiction can be fap-worthy.

>>738013812
>be me
>on holiday
>laffin at dank memes on mobile phown
>at some hotel with dickhead gf
>she's mad cause she saw me fucking another hot bish
>tell her tits or gtfo
>hanging poolside
>a wild Ari appears
>starts swimming
>start getting stiff
>she sees enormous bulge
>I tell her to come to my room
>start smashing immediately
>cucking gf (she's so jelus lol)
>put my dick in Ari's pooper
>achievement unlocked.jpg
>cum on Ari's face after rough facefuck
>tell them both to clean the room and cook dinner
>they do (obviously)
Cont?

>>738014017
It's so disgusting that is has to be true. Feel sorry for you, bro. Did she drugged you?

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>>738013901
>>738014053
Jelus as fuck man

>>738014176
No don't cont. Can already tell its b.s. Sounds like it was written by a 12 y.o.

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>>738014213
No i volunteered. I just wanted to try how does it feel to have sex with famous person.

It was a mistake

>>738010759
Bill?

>>738013778
Did you get herpes?

>>738014286
>Can already tell its b.s.
Are you Sherlock Holmes?

>>738014332
God I wish the summerfags would fuck off

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i am Nicki's personal backstage toilet slave

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>>738014286
>wah wah wah
Little jealous crybaby, you're pathetic

>>738014366
Thanks God, no lol. She was in state of shock when I saw her, so I asked my friend if they roofied her (that's pretty common at USC, sadly), and he told me it was not their first time with the Icarly actress. Apprently she REALLY loves drunk/drug sex and multiple partners.

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I paid Brendan Fraser 50 bucks for a blowjob

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>>738013778
>not big deal
>fucking this beauty
What the hell is wrong with you?

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Not a single word in this thread is true, except these.

>>738015094
>having sex with women is unrealistic
Off to bed baby boi

>>738015224
You know, it's summer. /b/ is plenty of virginfags.

>>738015224
lol, i have no doubt some of you clowns have found some ugly drunk girls to fuck. that's not what you're lying about.

>>738015312
I can confirm there are no lies in this thread

>>738015354
>jealousy intensifies

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i was rapped by pic related

>>738010300
https://discord.
------------------
gg/xwHkBJy

Hung out with Dustin Diamond doing coke in his hotel room, then outta nowhere he asks if I would let him suck my cock. Says I cam watch straight porn on his ipad while he does it.
I say, i'm not gay m8. He says, bro it's totally not a gay thing at all! I said no thanks and nooed outta there. Wtf Screech
Also I fucked Georgia Salpa in Greece in, 2000. She was 16, I was 20. God SO hot. But a little arrogant. That was b4 she got fame

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>>738015061
He'll do it for ten.you got robbed

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She's a freak in the bedroom tbh

>>738015407
yeah boy. so jelly I can't stand it. I haven't been laid in a very long time. very. long. even still, I've had sex with more women than I ever cared to try to keep track of, and likely, more than you ever will in your life.

I'm leaving this bullshit thread now. enjoy your fantasies, and remember these words:

> The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

> Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>738012584
welp you failed

>>738015628
>effort
U jelly pal??

>>738013778
THE GHOST

>>738015628
>I'm beta af

>Thinking anyone in this thread is telling the truth

>>738013119
I gave her a box of shrimp I had stuck in my ass.

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Barely famous. .. but hey

>>738015880
ah, the irony

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>>738015668
Dude madonna was hot in 1996 wtf u talkin about?

>>738015091
Believe me, she was not so hot covered in cum.

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>>738015486
Btw Georgia Salpa

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was amazing

>>738015926
I bet she good titty wank.

I haven't fucked anyone famous, but my friend was a groupie and she fucked a bunch of shitty pop punk emo bands.

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>>738015061
The only one I believe.

>>738013709
Errrrm pic of your massive cock or gtfo

Honest question here.
Is almost everybody in this thread autistic? Ya know, told your story, don’t post just a pic.

Fingered Courteney love when she stage dove at a gig in London

Wearing a skirt and fishnets was a bad idea. For her

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>>738016273

>>738015880
i don't know dude, i've done a lot of shit that people wouldn't believe. i constantly get called a liar on /b/ but i've never told anything but truth. i can't expect others to beleive me if i call them liars

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I met Dustin Diamond at a bar, he was asking me if I knew where he could buy an 8 ball of coke. I told him I could probably hook him up if we went back to my place. We got home and I offered him a stiff drink, I called up a guy that I fuck sometimes and told him that Dustin Diamond needed an 8 ball of coke. He dropped it off, while Dustin downed a few more drinks. Dustin and I talked about chess and his comedy, I really think we hit it off. He asked me if he could smoke some in my house. I said it was cool. He took out a little glass pipe that looked just like a penis. He smiled when he saw that I noticed it. He lit up and smoked. After a while we started to make out with me. He shoved his tongue down my throat and began to stroke my now fully erect cock. He took my pants off and began to suck my cock. He got naked and put his ass up to my mouth and I gave him a Russian trombone. I made him cum all over the floor, than I put my cock deep inside his ass and pounded him like I’ve never pounded before. He let out a whimper like a little puppy as I slowly took my cock out and penetrated deeper. We fucked all night long until he started having trouble getting hard, so he said he needed more coke. He dumped some on my cock and began to snort it off, than licked off the rest. He slammed down some tequila and began rimming me. I asked him to hold on and I went into the bathroom and changed into my Screech outfit. When I went back out he instantly got hard and began pounding me to the point that shit leaked out of my ass. He got on the floor and asked me to let my juices flow on his nelly. I took a big runny shit all over his stomach, than I started to let it drip on his face and goatee. He stroked his dick until he came, while he also fingered his ass. The whole room smelled of coke, cum and shit. We stayed up all night and in the morning we took a shower together. He left and told me he would call me next time he was in town. I’m sure he says that to all the guys

>>738016395
backstory of this?

>>738016312
No faggot
Go look at gay porn, I don't expose myself to homosexuals.

>>738014176
Cont! That sounds hot, I've always wanted to smash Ari, was she tight?

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>>738016440
Lol Fucking Jesus!!!!
I was just calling bullshit on your bullshit story. You didn't have to get so aggressive

>>738016397
>and changed into my Screech outfit
i was down for it up until that. nobody has a screech outfit, they all have the beaner fag costumes. everybody knows this

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Back in 2002 she went to a nearby high school. Met her through a mutual friend and we hit it off. She blew me in my car twice before letting me fuck her. She was a bit heavier back then. Believe me or not but it's fuckin true. She went to allen high school and I went to Salisbury high school. They're literally 7 miles apart.

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>>738016545
Air shaffir?

>>738016351
That's not something to brag about anon. In fact, never repeat it again. Ever.

>>738016609
What's so hard to believe? I just fucked a sluzz that happens to be "famous" ? I didn't even know lol she was eating my ass and she said "do you like my music?" And I was like "wut lol"

>>738016649
That's hot. You came inside?

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>>738016649
Bitch has been skin and bones her whole life fookin liar m8

100% every post in here is bull shit sad lil idiots who never had a fuck and would shoot load faster than jim did if a girl ever spoke to u

>>738016800
newerino faggerino

>>738016545
Yeah man tight af
Not much else to say, we fucked again in the morning and that's about it, cbf greentexting it

>>738016439
>backstory of this?
i'm the same guy that you see up here drunk all night. i made money in real estate and ended up selling a lot of property to a gold mine company, blah blah, money out the ass. so i sit around and drink and play with my dogs and shot guns on my tree farm now. everything i've ever done has pretty much just been golden and shitting money. i'm a total alcoholic, my wife makes like 140k a year and we have about 1.5 million just sitting in property and cash. i've got 5 grand cash in my safe, just for laughs. i have a 4 thousand dollar Czech world class GSD that i just play with and don't even try to get a title on. i've been awake for about 3 days this time, i've got around 15 grand worth of guitars/amps and about 50 grand in guns/ammo. i bought a mountain bike because i'm just getting really bored. i retired at 42, i'm 52 now and i really don't know what to do with myself beside drink and since i don't have the vicodin connection anymore, .......i make my own music but that gets boring too after a while.

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after Austin Mahone break up at her old family house in Inglewood

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>be me
>12 yo contestant on double dare
>we lose
>Marc summers violently rapes my entire family

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>>738016397
Haha I was just about to post my real Screech story until I read yours. Now peeps will think I'm bullshitting.
>be working at the BBC about 10 years ago (just a shitty techy)
>go to a well known bar that BBC'rs used to hang out
>Dustin was filming fat camp or some shit (not on the BBC)
>he was having a meeting with some British porn directors.
>I was at the bar and he came over to me saying would I be interested in fucking an unconscious girl. I was like No Way dude.
>he points to her and she waves. Don't worry it's all legit. She's in on it.
>hmmmm ok, she was really fit
>she starts becoming less conscious and I'm getting excited. I feel anxious.
I get a little woozy.
>wake up the next day at home.

>>738010300
if this was famous guys youve fucked........i would say rob halford.

no joke.

>>738016984
and your story is... That's nothing special at all, honestly. Just some old man life. What did you so special that nobody can believe it?

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>>738010300

>>738017100
>What did you so special that nobody can believe it?

nothing really, it's just that everybody thinks that all the people on /b/ are liars. so when someone actually tells the truth, it's a big deal

>>738016913
Lol. She's clearly bigger in her high school pic. About 10-15lbs. She wasn't skin and bones then or even now.

>>738013778
Thats probably true. I'm a former USC rich fratbro. Fucked Miranda at least 10 times. She was horny all the time, into molly and coke.

>>738010300
Sure, kiddo

>>738017100
>Just some old man life.
oh, and BTW, you will be here sooner than you think. swear to god, i was just 18 years old last week. you wouldn't believe how fast this shit goes.

>>738016984
It's so sad to see someone LARPing like this. Im really sorry /b/ro

>>738013517
then, good ?

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fucked a dancer in Portland that did porn years ago

>>738016858
It could be true....It's just that you're obviously lieing

>>738016875
She insisted we use condoms. She wasn't on the pill. If I remember correctly, her parents were catholic.

>>738017323
>obviously lying
Doubting Thomas located

>>738012948
my uncle had a mate who went out wit her appaz she is crazy

>>738017273
see, this is what i'm talking about. i paid $475 grand cash for my house, wrote a fucking check (well, a few checks, progress payments on the build) , and it's worth around $700 grand now. and silly little shits on /b/ want to tell me. and i'm called sad. haha. haha

ITT alphas telling sexy and cool true stories and angry betas getting upset and jealous lol

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>>738010300
Checked.

I share this story every chance I get about the time I met Bill Pullman when I was in high school.

>be me
>hanging out with buddy in small town, semi resort, on the way to yellowstone anyway
>come around corner, see him and a kid, probably daughter
>sees me see him, can tell I recognize him
>know him from spaceballs
>gives me a smile, says hello
>talks about spaceballs
>asks if we've ever seen any of his other work
>we are just teens, barely pre internet era for our rural area
>"no"
>tells us to keep an eye out for a movie "about aliens"
>year or so later independence comes out

Nice dude. Was genuinely sincere and seemed pleased to get recognized although his wife/sister/woman he was with seemed like a bitch. He was interested in us and our lives in that small town.

No, I didn't fuck him.

I met Dustin diamond in 2008 outside Madison WI in a shitty comedy club. He asked where he could get an 8 ball so I casually walked over to the pool table, grabbed the 8 ball, and smashed it into his face. He fell off the stool choking on shards of shattered teeth. I kicked him in the throat and he vomited blood everywhere. I took out my cock and squeezed it into his mouth. I face fucked him while stabbing his dick with a pen I had. I had a really nice time and we had brunch the next day

>>738017374
>Doubting Thomas
that was a band out of Charlotte NC. shit city but a really good band

The average b-tard has fucked 1.4 celebrities. Ain't no thang...

>>738017619
it's always been my wish and my dedication to fuck .4 celebrities

>>738017007
I always heard that he was a mother fucker.

>>738017474
Christ man, so sad. The LARPing man. The LARPing.

>>738017683
>not knowing how averages work
Underage b&

>>738014286
>written by 12 yo
looks like you're the only 12 yo here summerfag

fucked a girl that was on americas got talent if that counts...

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>>738010300
Oh yeah right, and I fucked Sigourney Weaver on the set a aliens back in the 80's

>>738017913
naw, that just reminded me of a joke about ratios. the little boy was told that 1.5 boys went hungry in this country. he said what the hell is half a boy. pop said, oh it's just a ratio. kid thought it was a kid named Horatio. pop said, just forget that. kid says

half a boy, that's kind of a hard thing to forget about.

>>738010852
BABABA BULLSHIT!

>>738018181
Check'd
That's a nice story

>>738010609

>Her feet smelled.

Why?

>>738017806
Sad. Tsk tsk. So so sad

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I was working on the GoT set in ireland. We fucked in her trailer

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>>738010300
>>738010300
>>738010300
>>738010300
>>738010300
>>738010300
nikki chao. I also drank my whiskey off her asshole.

>>738018164
hey, they are human. they do fuck. everybody has to fuck somebody, so....maybe it's true. i ask people to believe my story and it's all true, so i'm not going to poopoo on their parade

>>738018292
Huh?? Huh?? You butthurt bro??? Huh?? U mad??? Huh?????

>>738013499
>>I want to believe. She was so fucking hot in DS9, came like 50 times jacking off to her in the show.

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>>738010300


>ITT
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>738018315
Only believable one in this thread.

>>738018449
>>738018457
See
>>738017493
And wipe those tears ladies

>>738014719
woah, holy shit :D I kek'd multiple times

>>738018315
How loose were her meat curtains

>>738015980
about the NDA you dunce

>>738014176
>I'm trying too hard: the greentext

>>738013775
you don't need to believe. It's ok.

>>738015980
Agreed anon.

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>>738010300
Met her at a homeschool event when we were both 16; we were some of the only non-evangelical homeschooled kids there, so we hung out. I got her off with my hand, she blew me, never hooked up again before she left for Hollywood

>>738018315
lol ok bro, I live in bath where she is from, fucked her at rave she was off her tits this was before got.

I dont even watch the show and it is weird how she is such a druggy but everywhere in the media.

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Girl of my school

Sucked a log of shit out of Andy sixxs butthole

>>738018736
>I'm a retard: the post

>>738018779
Maybe your dick cursed her and that's why she's had such a shit career.

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>>738018378
>>738018292
this is why i love /b/. i post and two fuckers that i don't even know get fighting over it. i sit back and drink and giggle. and BTW, view off my back deck this morning. my fucking deck is bigger than the house i grew up in. larp larp

>>738018959
>I grew up in a tiny house
KEK

>>738019049
>>I grew up in a tiny house
yes i did. i grew up poor. i bettered myself. that's what good smart hard working people do.

>>738018958
Her sister Angel is the one with a shit career. And 4 ex-husbands

>>738016273
You her brother? Did you fuck her before or after you smashed her head with a mag lite?

>>738019118
as opposed to fucking leeches that suck off the rest of the populace. which one do you guess this guy >>738019049
is?

>>738019118
>yes i did. i grew up poor.
Wah wah muh struggle
>i bettered myself.
No you didnt
>that's what good smart hard working people do.
No, you were just povo poor kid, and now have a house with a deck and are blowing a load over it kek

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I had casual intercourse with the actress, philosopher, pacifist and feminist icon Sasha Grey.

I asked her if she was into anal, but she refused saying that anal sex is opressing and morally wrong.

>>738019118
>>738019205
Samefagging this hard

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ITT: liars

>>738019263
Don't you have summer school to attend?

>>738014488
underrated post
>also checked

>>738019297
>feminist icon
wut?

>>738019263
really? you have no idea who the fuck i am or what i have. other than what i've told you on /b/. you know fucking dick nothing. guess who isn't going to work today? guess who doesn't have to worry about money for the rest of his life? who has time to piss away on /b/? oh, i guess that would be both of us. but only one of use has a future. guess who?

>>738019409
Tell another sob story about your rough times and uphill battles

>>738019333
hey, somebody's got to do it. you ain't fuckin helping

>>738019440
Me.. You're obviously like 50 see
>>738019485
Faggot

>>738019504
>admitting to samefagging

>>738019485
>Tell another sob story about your rough times and uphill battles

tell us about living in mom's basement and sucking her bank account dry while bleeding off her internet connection to post on /b/. god you fucking millineal neckbeards are pitiful.

>>738013778
Did she call you Dan?

>>738019530
>You're obviously like 50 see
yep, 50 with all the money. you have shit for nothing thanks to your god obama. good luck with that social security check, what a joke

>>738019612
>jumping to conclusions
Enjoy that deck and your "future" on it

Madonna at a party a few years ago. She kinda forced herself on me.

>>738019297
ya know, she don't even look that good anymore. the "i'm a cocksucking little whore" look just isn't there. she looks more like a new york kike personal injury lawyer now. i think i've seen one of her ads on channel 69

>>738019685
>conclusions

>>738019809
>>738019718
i tire of playing with you. your responses bore me. anything better? this is just mundane at this point. can't we step this up?

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We didn't fuck by I got a blowjob from Carrie when I was 15 and she was 16 at a party just outside of Muskogee. I always think back to that night and fap like a meth head since she's famous now.

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>>738019685
this cuck has to come on /b/ and brag about what he may or may not actually own just to feel better about himself

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>>738019898
You talk like a neckbeard too.
That camaro and iroc are never gonna get finished are they?

>>738019973
no, i'm just bored as fuck. i've been awake for 3 days so far and i have nothing else to do. seriously, my wife isn't awake yet and when she does wake up she will go to work, so no fun there. i could go out and play with the dogs, but it gets too hot here by noon

>>738020020
actually no, they probably won't. they ran like fucking demons 10 years ago. want to see a pic of what the 67 looked like when it was running?

>>738019973
>not the same lad.
apparently, so do you, you retarded fuck-hippo.

>>738020119
>want to see a pic of what the 67 looked like when it was running?
Yeah sure

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>>738020203
this was in 2005 i think, maybe 2004. i've been wanting to drop an edelbrock 350 in it but i've just kind of lost interest.

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>>738016092
dude, I swear she was looking to fuck on craigslist in my area a few years ago

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>>738020340

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>>738020365

>>738020320
The '69 looked a lot better, why did you have to settle for the '67 moneybags?

>>738020203
you would not believe the shit i had to go through to get those keystones. fucking insanity. cragar had bought them at that point. they didn't want to sell anything except cragar, so it was a damn mess. had to return 2 sets before i got a good set

I fucked Nick Denton, not in bed but with a lawsuit that brought down his whole website, Brother.

>>738020479
it's not a settle for. the 1967 was a rare rare bird. every asshole has a 69. the 67 is something you couldn't find easily 20 years ago. damn sure is rare now.

>>738020712
a split bumper 71 is probably the only thing harder to find i'm guessing

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Juliana Harkavy, years and years ago before she met her husband, I think she was about 19 or 20 at the time.

>>738020020
oh and that's not an IROC, that's a 1991 R/S 305

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>>738010300
fuuuuuck off

>>738020712
Fair enough

I'm a guy and had sex with a never-to-be-named pro hockey player. It was pretty nice tbh.

I didn't fuck her, but I worked at a Cold Stone Creamery and got ice cream for Faye Reagan...alas she didn't flash me or anything.

>>738020908
now if you want to talk throtle body fuel injection on the R/S as opposed to the MPI of the Z28 that year, i can give you a reason i didn't like the Z, so i bought the R/S instead. that and that damn stupid fucking wing on the Z28 that year, god that was ugly

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Do pornstars count? Pic related.

>>738012834
made me kek

>>738018959

Your plastic Adirondack Chair provides a glimpse into your sorry ass life.

Big deck indeed. Must be compensating?

>>738012948
>Melissa Joan Hart
i'd drag my dick through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie

>>738013778

I remember the first time I went to a USC party that Miranda Cosgrove was at.
It was at a frat house and I was hanging out and talking to people when this huge guy, probably around 6'5 came up to me and grabbed me by the shoulder and told me very sternly to "come with me, newblood". He led me down to the basement, and that's when I saw her.
She was completely naked, on her hands and knees, on top of a large blue tarp. A single bare lightbulb swung from the ceiling, and two massive football players were fucking her, one in the ass and one in the mouth. Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head, and she was covered in semen. The words "COCKGOBBLER" were scrawled on her forehead in permanent marker . The one fucking her in the mouth bust a nut down her throat, and she swallowed it all. She then started screaming "FUNNY POWDER, FUNNY POWDER" over and over at the top of her lungs. The guy that led me in handed me a ceramic plate covered in cocaine and instructed me to blow some in her face. I bent down in front of her and she coughed up a huge glob of cum onto the tarp and looked at me in the eyes, all while still beng fucked in the ass. I grabbed a handful of cocaine and placing it in my palm, I blew it in her face. I had tears in my eyes and silently mouthed "but you were in iCarly". I stood up and another massive jock took my spot and started ramming her in the mouth. I then tried to leave but the guy who took me to the room told me "you have to stay until all the coke is gone lardlungs". I sobbed for the next 3 hours doing my duty until all the men were satisfied and she was passed out in a pool of jizz.
It was the worst night of my life.

>>738021410
>plastic Adirondack Chair

guess who can have 12 adirondack chairs on my deck for the price of one made of wood that is going to get fucking cooked in the 108 degree temps here in the summer. i can replace these fuckers at will for dirt cheap prices. just because i have money doesn't mean i have to piss it away.

I'd love to hear stories bout anons who were with pornstars

That deck doesn't look that big. Can we get a POV pic, with a timestamp?

>>738018865
she was about 11 when she started on game of thrones so no. no you didn't fuck her at a rate before she was on game of thrones.

>>738021586
>>plastic Adirondack Chair
>guess who can have 12 adirondack chairs on my deck

Say it's me! Please, please, please! Say I can have 12 plastic chairs on your big deck. I love a guy with a big deck!

>>738021827
it's 16 x 36 i think, something like that. and that's the outside part, there is a screened inside part about the same size. it's like 1200 sq. feet total. my first starter house was 1200 sq. feet, so

There was a girl at my school memorialized for killing herself, that count?

Ms Nebraska 1989, in '93. Functionally a hook-up before the term became common place. The sex was meh.

>>738021970
well i've got a really big deck, so i'm the love. my deck is really big. it's a really big deck. god, the fucking deck envy around here.

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We need more big deck pics. Do you have any getting blown?

>>738021586
>guess who can have 12 adirondack chairs on my deck
Idk you?

>>738014176
ITT: full-bore puberty on display

>>738022213
oh fuck yeah, i love pics of big decks getting blown

>>738022243
>Idk you?
yep, me. 12 at once, all stacked on top of one another. miles high plastic adirondeck chairs.

jesus guys, get a grip. sitting on the porch in 100+ temps drinking beer. swimming pool goes in next. don't hate just because

OP's pretty famous for being a faggot so I guess his mom counts.

>>738022419
U jelus cuck?

>>738018959
>BTW, view off my back deck this morning.

Just got here, and am amazed at the back deck. By saying back deck do you have a front deck too? Cuz that would be freakin amazing. You'd have a house sandwich, with decks as bread.

>>738022441
>sitting on the porch in 100+ temps drinking beer. swimming pool goes in next.

>>738010300
A few years ago I had a one night stand with Allison Pierce from The Pierces.

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Not only I have inseminated this woman, but also I have done it in Turkey. I was just another foreigner staying in her hotel.

>>738022595
sorry guys, gotta run for a bit. my GSD says it's time to go play. i'll come back and fuck around with you morons shortly

>>738018779
She's only thirty this year but looks Fucking 45

>>738013709
Did her pussy smell like New York City hotdog water?

>>738022796
>sorry guys, gotta run for a bit. my GSD says it's time to go play. i'll come back and fuck around with you morons shortly

Liar. Your just doing your morning exercizes trying to enhance your deck.

>>738022852
Nah, I popped her cherry, shit was SO cash

>>738018959
>ten-year old Dodge in the driveway
>neighbors have chain link fences and shit-tier 80s junker
>brags about size of deck
You get an above-ground pool into that picture, and you'll have a real white-trash Disneyland going there.

I don't think you're larping at all. That's the sad part.

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>>738010300
Details then fucker

>>738016913
tell us more. show us more.

>>738022951
yeha, you got me on that one. gotta make sure to have a really really big deck

why don't anons post celebs that are more average looking and at least believable

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>>738019440
>be anon
>get on /b/ and brag about how great my life is
>13-year-olds don't believe me
>get apoplectic explaining to them how great my life is

You're clearly doing well for yourself and win today's internet, sir.

I have no idea who half these celebs are

What's an icarly? Did she work for apple or something?

>>738023273
>why don't anons post celebs that are more average looking and at least believable

Fixed that for you:

>>738023273
>why don't anons post decks that are more average looking and at least believable

>>738010300
I'm used to live in South Africa, fucked Charlize Theron just after high school. In a cottage at the back of her parents old place. It was about 6-8 months before she moved to the US.

>>738023031
>ten-year old Dodge in the driveway
that's my dog hauler you idoit. i'm not going to put dogs in a fine fancy clean new car. not that i have one anyway. i'm from the old school, i buy a vehicle and i keep it and keep it runing. i'm not of asshole gerneration that has to trade cars everytime the ashtrays get full

>neighbors have chain link fences and shit-tier 80s junker
i don't have neighbors, that is my dog running yard that i do shutzhund training in. i'm 53 acres, there isn't a neighbor anywhere

>brags about size of deck
sorry, i just happen to have a really big deck.

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he grabbed my pussy once

ITT: Neckbeards trying to trump each others sexual fantasies

>>738023342
>>>738019440
>>be anon
>>get on /b/ and brag about how great my life is
>>13-year-olds don't believe me
>>get apoplectic explaining to them how great my life is
>You're clearly doing well for yourself and win today's internet, sir.

All the 13 year olds now have a role model. They all want a big deck, a single chair, a shiny grill, and a couple of shitty cars.

>>738023581
See>>738017493
And gimme the succ u cuck

>>738021435
>i'd drag my dick through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie
that, my friends, is desperation.

>>738023481
>everytime the ashtrays get full

It gets better and better.

I'm betting he smokes the generic brands, cuz he's not pretentious.

>>738023596
somebody is drunk and didn't have to work today or any other day. guess who? it ain't you, unless you are a social leech or the affore mentioned 13 year old

>>738023679
>that, my friends, is desperation.
no, that is a meme. but seriously, i do think she is hot as fuck still, at whatever age she is, like 35 or something, maybe 40. she's still a fucking babe with a big ass.

>>738023719
i don't smoke. that's also a meme, but from before you were born

>>738018959
Got a hambeast of a wife? It'd just be the final piece of the puzzle

>>738015558
I know - Phil and I used to double-team her until his operation

>>738023672
Sure...this place is full of alphas banging celebrities.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Im starting to think about suckign cock for money but Im too lazy to do it far from my hometown

I sucked a tranny once and she told me I'm really good. I know that since I used to be a skilled self sucker.

Not sure about ass but I would have a pretty girly round butt if I shaved. Sometimes I jerk off squeezing my own ass.

>>738023725
>somebody is drunk
Yeah, and he's drunk well before noon time.Sitting alone on a big deck, smoking generic cigarettes, probably in a wife beater, thinking about how much better life is ever since tRump got elected.

Living the fuckin' dream he is.

Go take care of the dogs. Remember, you have one job now, and it's the dogs. Don't fuck up this one too.

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>>738010300
>Hey I'm OP let's talk about the girls I banged
Just fucking KYS, fucking kanker blob mother fucker. Fuck you.

>>738023923
>damage control
U jealous beta?

>>738023873
no, try a 5'4" blonde babe with tits to die for. and no tats. she carries a .40 and can shoot as good or better than me. she drives a Ram hemi 4x4 and could most likely kick your ass. my money would be on her

>>738024040
Yea no, pig fucker.

>>738024019
I could elaborate but ill simplify to a simple: nope

>>738024040
>no, try a 5'4" blonde babe with tits to die for. and no tats. she carries a .40 and can shoot as good or better than me. she drives a Ram hemi 4x4 and could most likely kick your ass. my money would be on her

/b/ - Random
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>738023963
you got it pretty much all right, except i don't smoke and i'm wearing a baseball jersey. oh, and the part where i'm worth 1.5 million dollars, there is that. but otherwise, you nailed it.

>>738024040
I bet its a pig m8.
Can guarantee its hidious and overweight

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>>738024019

>>738015486
>>738016397
>>738017042
>Go to 4c
>Thread about fucking celebrities
>Not even half way down and at least three people had sex with screech

now questioning my life choices

>>738024040
>no, try a 5'4" blonde babe

Geez. She must tower over your big deck.

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Youtuber so not really famous but still

>>738024123
whatever, sorry i don't have to live your shit. she's in the office now, oh i forgot to say, she works from home. 140k a year job and she gets to work from home. i just sit on my big deck and laugh.

>>738024040
>he drives a Ram hemi 4x4 and could most likely kick your ass.
Gross af

>>738024237
see
>>738024316
i don't know what else to say, you guys are a fucking joke

>>738024269
England is my city

>>738024316
your a liar faggot

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>>738024040
What a faggot

>>738024428
It was in florida actually but yea hahaha

>>738024441
What lair? Post pics pls

>>738016984
>Millionaire
>Can't get vicodin

Piss off you lying fucktard

>>738020119
>my wife isn't awake yet and when she does wake up she will go to work
>>738024316
>she works from home

Nice try.

>>738024441
no, i'm not. my life has been so fucking easy it's like playing doom on god mode. i have no reason to lie. i could give a fuck if any of you don't believe me. sorry, but some of us do get by without life being a huge pain in the ass. don't know what else to say.

>>738024316
Slurp it faggot.

>>738024540
i was on vicodin for about 8 years. i went cold turkey and it took a month to stop the shakes and shivers. i never want to get hooked on that shit agian. i'll take a half pill went needed but never get hooked again.

>>738018865
Lol before GOT? She was like what, six or seven? Lol are you from Rotherham Mohammed?

>>738024544
>when she does wake up she will go to work
hey dubs, she goes to work in the home office. it's right off the kitchen. god, i can't believe i'm still explaining my life to you dumb fucks

>>738017566
Did you even read the thread request? No one gives a shit about your piss-poor town. We only care if you fucked Screech.

>>738024316
>You sit on her big dick and laugh?
Just no, plz KYS.

>>738024316
>she works from home.

Does she ever sit on your big deck when she works from home?

>>738017913
Being this retarded. Gtfo of here. Your camp counselor is looking for you.

>>738024040
>she carries a .40 and can shoot as good or better than me. she drives a Ram hemi 4x4 and could most likely kick your ass. my money would be on her

She sounds manly and gross, obviously an obese redneck pig, you are trash

>>738014017
the valet's expression is priceless!