feels man.

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bump

This is now a get thread.

Feel with it

>>737789701
Man, never kill yourself or drive drunk if an animal is dependent on you. Fucker will never know what happened.

>>737789565
this fucked me up

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>>737789842
Before I off myself I'm planning on finding a good home for my cat.

Just embarrassed myself in front of my closest friends by talking about my mental instability and I'm pretty sure I won't talk to them again, ama

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emotionally and physically deprived fuck who wants nothing but love from someone. its easier said than done being insecure, clingy and possessive. i'm either my own honest, damaged self with a girl and she distances herself from me, or i act like the confident, cocky guy i'm not, and get chicks i could never love. honestly, its not fun being told "i love you", and lying to a girl, not to spare her feelings, but because you don't wanna be alone.
i hate myself.

>>737790229
did you get skepticism and judgement?

>>737790312
i sorta feel you

>>737789661
Good show

>>737790362
worse, no response. its been about an hour now and there isn't a notification in the group chat

>>737789701
Shit with animals always gets me.

>>737790408
i couldnt really get into it with the first few episodes, should i keep trying?

>>737790497
I need to rewatch that show

>>737790417
and they've read it? if you're anything like me, and you haven't opened up to these people before, id suspect the worse as well, but i wouldnt suggest having any hopes of approval being a pessimist. what i do is try my best to desensitize and dissociate myself to the point where i dont care. as much at least.

>>737789991
Smart man. Thank you anon, for a last act of mercy. I've been suicidal for years and I made stupid decisions and bargains with myself to live. When I was 16 I said wait until I'm 18, then I can go. Then I'd tell myself to wait until I'm 21, or that I had to at least play Fallout 4 when it finally came out. I've ran out of things to bargain with my depression over. Turn 24 to rent a car? Bullshit. I said I'd look forward to marriage, and thought being married would obligate me to live. Now I just feel guilty about wanting to die. I've told my wife all this. I've made detailed plans and even told them to her. She thinks it's okay because I'm still talking to her about it, and she can always talk me down. I'm supposed to be getting antidepressants soon. Haven't taken them since I was 17, but I've been on them as young as six. Told my teacher in first grade that I wanted to die. At six years old I said I'd jump off a building and splat. Said if you jump you can't go back. Got my ass sent to the principal for that one.

So here I am now at 22, with nothing to look forward to. Not really any reason to keep going. I have a decent life insurance policy. Think I'll accidentlly stumble in front of traffic. Needs to look like an accident for life insurance.

>>737790655
Oh man that's exactly me, not to be an edgy faggot but I haven't really felt much in a while

>>737789879
this is nothing but a normie meme now

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>>737790909
Sorry I didn't know the authority on the classification of memes was here.

>>737790789
it genuinely fucking sucks.

>>737791071
yeah it kinda really is a normie meme at this point. it basically a popular meme to be "suicidal" in today's society, at least among the youth. its absolutely fucking retarded and part of me genuinely hope they feel pure misery at one point so they realize how fucking stupid they were.

>>737789565
My childhood flashed before my eyes. You made me feel happy about the small happy moments. So little were the happy moments I cried that they are gone.

>>737791235
this makes my feet tingle

>>737790761
I know I can't convince you to not be suicidal, but I'll tell you how I stopped. I used to be, but then my friend Eron died in a car crash. I was like 17, he was like 16 or so. We weren't the best of friends, but we hung out a lot. He came over to my house and played Smash bros with me and my other friends a few times.

Now he doesn't exist. Just... gone. I knew him, he knew me. He used to read the comics I like to write. I joked with him a lot. He hung out with me. I still remember his voice. Now he's literally just gone. It's mind boggling.

Ever since, I've been terrified of death. I used to want to die because my problems would go away, but now I'm scared of the unknown. I'm scared of losing my loved ones in my life to nonexistance. Then I think about how they would feel if I died.

>>737791071
i didnt mean it like that, i like the picture, i just hate how normies have made "haha i actually hate myself xD" into a meme, its disgusting

>>737791084
Idk how it happened, but I can't feel much other than insecurity. It does suck. No one to talk to about it either. What surprised me was when I took an online quiz about mental health, it said there might be a chance I have schizophrenia. That threw me for a loop, lol

>>737791543
same

>>737791569
same here. I was reading once about schizoid personality disorder and I matched up pretty well...

>>737791918
Do you have any articles to recommend? I want to do more research.

>>737791569
insecurity, isolation due to the fact that you feel alone even when around people due to the fact that they don't know who you really are, frustration due to your hopelessness and sexual frustration due to you having been totally desensitized to porn and its hard for you to get off to anything without some form of interaction/intimacy. that's me personally speaking there.

you should seek professional help before you reach the stage where you genuinely dont wanna talk to anyone about anything, implying you're not there already.

>>737791174
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnKZ4pdSU-s

>>737791377
I'm not actively suicidal, but I am mentally ill and have a history of self harm. I have suicidal ideations and I've made 3 attempts on my life, 2 half assed and one serious. It's been a good 4 years since I made another, but a stupid amount of my family has died from suicide already. My mothers side is all bipolar, and my father's side of the family are all either dead, addicted to drugs, or in prison for life. My statistics aren't looking good. I'm not afraid of death. I'm agnostic leaning atheist. A loving God wouldn't punish me. A hateful God isn't one I want to worship anyway. If there is no God, then being dead is no different than life before I was born.

If it makes you feel better, I just have to live another month or so and I could be in the clear. Problem is the Prozac is going to motivate me to die before it actually makes life better. Why do I want to get better though? To do what? I have a defective heart and I'm overweight. I'm tired of anxiety, and even on a good day I black out at odd times.(only if I'm standing though) I have exotropia and my vision is awful. My general health is just shit. I have a hiatal hernia that's incredibly painful. I'm made of defective body parts, and if I'd been born a decade earlier I wouldn't have survived childhood.

>>737792062
now im upset i know its not real

>>737792052
not the same anon, but i feel the insecurity and isolation aspects here.

feels like i'm at a standstill and nothing is helping motivate me.

>>737792052
Seems like we're pretty similar in a lot of aspects. I feel alone, a lot, even though I try to surround myself with a group of friends to numb the pain. I like just having people I know talking around me. I'm their friends, but if they just talk to each other and I don't do any talking, then I can't mess anything up, right?

I care so much about my friends but I'm so socially awkward that I always feel like I'm a nuisance to them and I feel like shit.

The thing is, though, I like being alone. I don't have to worry about anyone except myself, and I can't mess anything up if I'm not around anyone. It's less stressful, too.

The sex thing has been a real problem with me and still is. I am physically disgusted by sex, the thought of intimacy makes me physically gag. Not very fun with my girlfriend.

shit sucks mang

>>737792032
no unfortunately. I was kind of just bouncing around its wikipedia article. I felt it was better to leave it be and not seek some kind of confirmation that something might be seriously wrong with me.

>>737792032
I've also matched up with bipolar disorder a lot. borderline pd as well.

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>>737792562
you genuinely enjoy being alone? i used to tell myself that, but i no longer find solitude in isolation. i hate being alone, and i hate feeling alone. i hate the fact that i have to always either be alone or feel alone because no one around me is trustworthy, nor do they care enough for me to let them know who and how i really am without fearing some form of backlash.

i wanna love, i wanna be loved, i wanna fuck and have it feel like im experiencing more than just an orgasm. i hate that i cant have that.

>>737790497
fuckin futurama man

>>737793004
for real

>>737792756
I have BPD man it fuckin sucks. But also look into Complex PTSD, a lot of the symptoms of BPD match up with it and I'm sorta curious to find out whether I have that instead. If you need someone to talk to, add me on kik my name is on it is hypershadic21. Dealing with these sort of problems is something you shouldn't have to do alone.

>>737792185
As someone with almost nothing physically wrong with me, i.e. overweight or have birth defects (other than being colorblind and also an artist, lol), I really can't say much to give you hope for that kind of thing. I wish I could relate so that I could help you more.

I'm really not trying to be cheesy here, but what I see behind your posts is a person -- a living, breathing soul who is talking to me right now. And I believe that you truly do have purpose. You may not know it yet, and I certainly won't ever know it, but I feel like there's always potential for something great as long as you don't give up. And yeah, that's hard -- motivation. The will to keep going on and to keep trying. I know damn well that it's tough to find some meaning in what you're doing. But, at least MY meaning right now, is to continue doing what I love. Doing what I enjoy doing. For me, that's making videos on YouTube, but for you, it might be something completely different. You might not know what it is yet, or you might be well aware of what it is. I don't know. But just know that objectively, if you killed yourself, it would be a waste. I'm not telling you not to do it, but I am telling you that it would be a complete waste of a human life. This is just how my mind works, but for some reason, I like to think that in another life, there's a possibility that we would be friends, and we would help each other out through our problems. But in this life, I'm in your life by this post. So... I guess to leave my mark on your life, I wanted to tell you this.

Jeez that probably sounded faggoty, but idk that's just what was on my mind

>>737792185
Just know that I'm rooting for you, man.

life is just a waiting room for death

>>737792944
Yeah, being alone makes me feel at ease. I am the least stressed out when I am alone. I know it's weird and that not many people feel this way, but I just find it easier to be by myself than having to be accountable for so many relationships.

>>737792591
lol yeah I can understand the willful ignorance, thanks though

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>>737793701
>>737793748
Thanks anons. You guys are normally shitheads. It's a nice change of pace. I'm going to keep trying to stay motivated. I'm 6 credits away from an associates in Pharmacy. I'd like to get my degree. I'll never have enough money to pursue pharmacy school the way I'd like, but maybe I could follow up with a bachelor in nursing. That'd be nice.

>>737794167
Dude that's fucking awesome! Go for it, man. Believe me when I say that you can do it; I've done some fucking impossible things and it's all because of determination. Keep on keeping on, man.

>>737794501
Thank you for talking to me tonight anon. I appreciate the hope you have.

>>737790782
This is the only movie you've got anon

>>737794833
No problem, man. I wish you the best

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>>737794924
Well I'm not much of a movie fan in general.

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>>737790742
>only image in my feels folder
>came here to post this
every fucking time man

why is mine black and white and formatted different?

Fuck suicide /b/. Fuck all those little thoughts that creep up when you can't sleep. Fucking fight right through it. Find something, anything, that you can cling to - a raison d'être. For me it's art. I'm bound and determined to become the best artist I can possible be both conceptually and technically. And I just pour out all the shit and hate and despair and rage into art and by god /b/ I can make some beautiful things. I don't have any examples so you can doubt me if you want.

But everyone needs a reason /b/, something to connect with because in the end our connections are all that matters. Connections to people, the world, hell even /b/ is a way of connecting with others. Only a solitary few can live without connecting to others and they're an insane bunch to begin with. Keep on living /b/, find some reason to live, and ride this rocket all the way to the end. When you die tell god that anon sent you to fuck heaven up like only you can.

tl;dr
>don't give up the fight

>>737797293
This is as helpful as telling a obese woman that she just needs to lose the weight. No shit.

>>737797532
at least hes trying

>>737797775
Trying by telling us the same thing that psychologists, websites, and friends have been telling many of us for years. Just parroting the common "solution" isn't helping.

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>>737797293
people with depression and suicidal thoughts generally don't enjoy anything. its not a matter of not trying or being stubborn, they just have it worse than you. they're approaching/have arrived at the point of no return. the point where optimism and pep talks are just greeted with a scoff and a shrug. legit no one, who's so corrupted with depression that they genuinely see no joy in life, no one that desensitized and numb will be swayed with words.

we came here to relate and empathize, not fix eachother's problems. you may mean well, yeah, but at this point you're just patronizing grown men.

>>737796029
What if it's a videogame where you can determine what happens

>>737798111
This. So much this.

>>737798156
Guess I better dig up that old San Andreas kill yourself cheat then

i'll debug my phone and spam feelsy shit.

>>737789701
this hurts too much...

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>>737790424
this one's not even a real being, but it gets me for some reason

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39_fMjrkAb0

>>737790742
stop stop

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I can remember those days. It's mostly behind me, just a few nagging tethers that try to pull me back in.

My job gives me a lot of time alone to just think, and that's when it's the worst. It's been years since I wanted to kill myself, but I often have depressing daydreams.

It's gotten better, much better, but I'll never be cured, just coping in different ways. At least I've got people I love and trust now, though there will always be times when I'm lonely.

Keep reaching for "better", even if it's a bit. One less ounce of alcohol, one more laugh in the day. It's a slow climb, like an old tank up a steep hill.

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i hate having to do drugs to find some way of distracting myself from what i feel when i cant preoccupy my mind with some menial task. i hate how the pills i pop make me nauseated, i hate being unable to sleep at night without either nightmares or sleep paralysis, and i hate not being able to trust anyone with this information without skepticism and judgement, because im a male, and im black.

well fuck me.