GOD TIER >green text YLYL

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>>737559331

>>737559331

cbf reading this stale shit

>>737559529
I hope this is bullshit but it's still pure gold

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You will never top this. This is the best Greentext YLYL.

>>737559529
most boring shit ever

>>737560634
>most boring shit ever
>>737560555
This and all those like it are :|

does anyone have the greentext about the anon who worked for the UN and went to an undisclosed country of Africa infected with AIDS to hire security enforcers only to be welcomed by mobs who thought 2-3 jobs would be economic salvation, and described the adventures of warlords, poachers, a guy named Gunther who got stabbed, and overall the best of the best of niggerdom?

>>737560555
>Willhelm scream
I chuckled

Butthurt wedb fur fags

>>737559550
This is just retarded

>>737560449
Retarded as hell but I lose every fucking time

>>737559331
I have no idea what I'm reading.

I think it's safe to say I have nothing in common with newfags anymore, I literally cannot communicate with them.

>>737559724
Marry her

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>>737560555

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>>737560738
This is fucking hilarious

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inb4 "skyrim in 2017?" predictable fucks.

On an unrelated note, anyone have the Jarl of Whiterun green text?

>>737560738
lol this made me so happy- I hate squirrels

>>737562399
This one is a classic spaghetti.

>>737563088
what the hell is wrong with people? Is that a fox? Just wtf?

>>737562596
I dunno man, I'd rather have a stab wound than a DUI on my record.

>>737563422
Furries.

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>>737560449
I know what it is and yet i still lose every time

>>737563476
Facts. DUIs fucks up a lot of shit in your life

>>737563657
so do stab wounds

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>>737563100

I have this

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>>737561620
>youve got a friend in me

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>>737563909
Nazeem you beta cuck

>>737563895
As someone that's been stabbed in the stomach and gotten a DUI I would take the stabbing again every time if given the choice. Getting stabbed sucks, and it sucks /a lot/, but shock will get you through the worst of it and a few months of building strength in your abdomen is waaaaaaay preferable to having to rely on public transportation or favors for the rest of your life.

>>737559724
classic

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>be me
>buy lube doesn't matter what brand
>take $1,999 in notes out the bank
>spend an hour lubing up the notes
>slowly and gently place the notes up my rectum
>giggling and enjoyment is optional
>make sure they are secure
>book in a prostate exam
>go to the apointment
>get doctor to perform the exam
>make him take out the $1,999
>look back at him with a big grin on my face >tell him "guess i haven't been feeling two grand"

>>737560805
You have a very bad sense of humor.

>>737560738
dirty little tree nigger got what it deserved

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>>737559724

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>б мeня
>at house
>with hot cheeki breeki girlfrend
>squatting on couch drinking kompot
>she throw mouth in me
>ohbog.jpg
>lick tongue, feelsgood
>celular box rings
>"get off my daughter cyкa"
>hang
>"bby, how your dad get number of me"
>"My dad ded"
>KGB bursts down door
>Kershoot me in head and arrest gf for phone
>Coworkers face when everyone got raise over my death

>>737559550
Hey, not bad actually.
You avoided getting a DUI and maybe even an arrest on your record.

anyone have the greentext from that confession thread about the anon who kept getting friendzoned, and would jerk off to the sounds of his crush getting fucked. That shit was hilarious.

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>>737564989
bump

>>737564834
Worth the read.

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>>737564958
>mfw you speak english perfectly but pretending so hard to try and get your autistic shit greentext screen capped bc that's the only way you can do it

>>737564958
>Kershoot
I smiled.

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Posting random shit that may or may not be greentexts to keep the thread alive.

>>737560965
I cant
wtf

>>737564989
I know somebody screenshotted it.

>>737561620
Lost

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>be me
>walk into class room
>study period only 10 minuets left
>sit next to this girl who's sat on her own in a wheel chair
>start to do some work thats in for next lesson
>few mins pass
>stuck on last question
>ask her for help
>ignored
>ask again
>she pulls the paper over and finishes it with a smirk on her face
>"easiest thing iv done all day" with a pretentious giggle to her voice
>bell rings for call outs
>"everyone stand up for the call outs"
>I look towards her and stand from my chair with a big grin on my face I bend down to her level "easiest thing iv done all day"

>>737564958
Cyka blin

>>737564834
holy fucking shit that was worth the read

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>>737566049
so harsh but lost

>>737564834
That was glorious. Right up there with the McDonald's employee who stopped giving a shit.

>>737565754
11/10, God bless the USMC

>>737567355
Wait what? Please post

>>737562770
I already knew this one, but it's probably the funniest one I ever knew.

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Some old shit to keep it alive

>>737565895
Top kek god tier

>>737567932
This is not unusual. My gypsy neighbours frequently play the same shitty song on repeat for hours at a time. At maximum volume. At night.

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>>737560555
I would fuck the shit out of that fat spic and keep coming back from more. I'd make love to her belly.

Only thing I miss about NY is fat latinas. I fucking love fat latinas.

>>737565424
If it was in Russian you couldn't read it, пeдик.