Hey it's me God, AMA

>>737510060
what's my name?

>>737510060
whats like your deal, man?

>>737510060
47....?

>>737510060
Why did you create me you fucking faggot

>>737510060
You were supposed to keep to your district. Who told you that you could work outside of it?

>>737510105
I don't fucking know man, you faggots all look the same to me.
>>737510182
Because I like the absurdly pointless.

Jesus still thinking about coming back or nah?

AMA's are for reddit,g-man

>>737510134
>Still thinks there's a motive to anything I do involving humans
>Being this fucking new
>>737510165
The man you call your father is not related to you by blood.

1. Why did you make life?
2. Why are so butthurt when I jerk off?

How are you?

>>737510228
Well, you know me. I have to stop by every once in a while to scare the shit out of you ass holes or I'll be bored. I can get away with so much shit and you guys still think there's a benevolent father in the sky watching you. Fucking top kek.
>>737510514
Nah, I wanted to sacrifice Jesus to myself to appease my unquenchable anger towards humanity, but as much as I love blood sacrifice it didn't work. We don't talk about Jesus anymore.

spell icup

>>737510060
Hey God, Why can't athiests define atheism?

>>737510773
It was Satan's idea to begin with, but I thought it sounded hilarious, so I gave it a shot. We came up with some absurd shit like how, if you look closely it seems like it's impossible that it could be intelligently designed, but at the same time made you susceptible to believing in bullshit, and I revealed myself to a few sandniggers in the desert.

>>737510773
Oh, and the jerking off thing too. It's not a big deal for me, but the church decided that it's evil and I've just sort of run with it.
But you better not eat shrimp. I fucking hate shrimp eating faggots.

Is getting an anal tattoo a bad idea?

are you sexually active?

>>737510825
Omnipotent and angry
>>737511072
Because atheism isn't real. On some very basic level everyone is programmed to be a theist. I'd call it a design flaw, but then again I left it there on purpose to see what would happen.

>>737510060

Why are there flies that burrow into childrens eyes and blind them? Seems a bit twisted, nah?

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>>737510060
Heavenly Father, why does /b/ suck so badly?
Will you cast into the fires of hell, the demon who keeps posting Andy Sixx threads?

>>737511757
How can everyone be a theist?

can i have $100

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>>737512135
Sure kid

>>>What are you willing to do to get it?

>>737511602
It's been a while since I have been.
>>737511758
It's a test of faith, son. I'm not kidding, I wanted to see if there would be people defending me in spite of that.
>>737511855
If it is your wish I will give that soul to Satan.
>>737511966
They are and so are you. Many of you have convinced yourselves that you are non-believers, because that is what a rational being would be in your position, but it is not possible for you to be entirely without faith. I have made it a part of your feeble and humorous struggle in life.

Why havent you kys you disappointing piece of atheist shit?

>>737510060
what do you do for fun?

>>737512478
Tell you that you're not that ugly.

>>737511422
> revealed myself
How can something nonexistent reveal itself?

>>737510060
Reduce all woman's intelligence by 65% pls

>>737512478
throw an egg at my teachers house

>>737510060
Why am I depressed?

If I die and go to heaven how much pussy is there? Or am I like better off going to hell for the pussy? Can't believe everyone missed the obvious question.

>>737512478
Oh, hi Satan. Didn't expect to see you here. Everything good?
>>737512920
Fuck around with you guys. It never gets old.
About a century ago when that Jewish faggot found out about how space is curved and shit, I decided to throw a spanner in the works by making everything accelerate away from you. You faggots started calling it dark energy and are still wondering about it today. Kek.
I also like creating and destroying civilizations elsewhere. Some of the super massive black holes that your scientists are finding out about are old projects of mine that I got bored with and scrapped. But Earth is still a lot of fun, so I wouldn't worry for now.

do you not give africa food cuz they're niggers?

>>737513363
It is done, ask your teacher about it during class.
>>737513641
Because in a chaotic and uncertain world you have elected to lead a life of false security. You spend most of your time unmoving and unchallenged, because it is what feels most comfortable. I designed your psyche to seek out short term rewards, so that there would be a way to sort out the weak and the strong among you. This makes for some hilarious social tension because although you fall into the category of undesirable mates, you will still wish to compete to be part of a mating pool.

>>737513775
Heaven is not actually that great. It's in Hell where you'll find pussy and drugs. There are mostly just Mormons here.

I have to go now. You're all pretty decent, I'll be sure not to punish you as hard the other humans.

>>737510060
would you like one of andys logs

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>>737514887

Why do you hate niggers and trailer park people?

WHYYYYYYY?
Thanks in advance, keen for a response

>ignores and continues scrolling

>>737510060
What should I do about my Buddhist friend?

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>>737510060
>>737510060
This man is an in poster. I am the real God.

>>737510060
hey god,

i've got a bone to pick with you, howcome when ever i need you your not around, and when i dont need you, you send a pal over to remind me of all the times you helped me out and that i should now be generous and give back.

also, you still owe $40 for that cab ride. you know which one im talking about

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>>737510060
do you ever come down from heaven and stop motherfucking bullets?

Dear God,

Are niggers human or nah?

>>737515475
>>737516745
>>737517220
>>737517527
>>737517727
>>737517791
See >>737514691

>>737510060
Do spider have puss puss?

How did he do this?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LwNq6ruUENo

>>737518549
yes