Please help me, I want to feel. I feel no emotion...

>>737503737
OP;
why the FUCK can't I feel anything. I'm like a blank white board, a desolate chasm void of emotion. I feel neither happiness nor sorrow. However, occasionally, once in a blue moon I'll feel everything at once. It's as if whenever something happens my corresponding emotion for the situation is withheld, but then, randomly with no tick or prior warning a switch is flipped, and those withheld emotions are experienced at once and I'm over zealous, yet unbearably depressed. I'm exceedingly angry, yet unusually tranquil. I cry randomly without reason, and feel childlike butterflies in my stomach as if I just saw my school girl crush. Then within the span of an hour i'm back to my emotionless, logistic based operating self, incapable of anything other than synthetic sympathy and empathy. Nothing but simulated emotions based on experiences i've heard from others, and memories from my child hood when I was fortunate enough to feel emotion. I'm crying as I right this because I know that soon the emotion will be gone, and there is no telling for how long. Sometimes it's weeks, other times it's months. I just want feel again. I don't want to be asked why i'm so depressed and be told that my answer of "I'm fine" isn't good enough. How does one explain that they do not feel sad, nor happy. That they feel nothing and are content with that, meaning allthough they are not "Smiling and happy" they aren't sad and depressed either.

Nothing was as eyeopening as visiting my family during break and having my youngest sibling say, "Bubby what's wrong? I miss the old bubby, I wish you were happy again. You're not your smiling self. I wish I had my real bubby back."

The hardest part is I know I shouldve felt something, and I wanted to, but I didn't. I don't know what I would've felt had I even felt something. Remorse, sorrow, contempt?

I just want to feel again, to be normal...

>>737503737
somebody please help. I don't even know if I need help, but everyone says I should feel, I want to, I want to be able to relate better, to help better. I find I can't fix my own problems so I'm constantly fixing others to fill the gap. To occupy my mind, to occupy my thoughts. I don't like hearing myself talk. My consciousness is full of self doubt and we often argue. I know what is right from wrong however don't worry, I know it may sound sociopath(ic) but I can assure you I have no trouble blending in, and my moral compass is fine. I have many friends and am regarding as a "vibrant person" but it's all a sham. I put on this persona and carry this lantern of light and hope to help other's smile and laugh so they don't have to experience this same empty feeling. All the while trying to learn what happiness truly is, and what the key to feeling again is. Then, when I get home, I put down the lantern and light attitude, and am once again greeted by the dark recess that is my mind. Home to nothing but my own thoughts, this place that resembles a labyrinth. It's like i'm trapped in this maze, this "box", and I can't seem to think outside it.

Someone please respond so I don't have to self bump. I would just kill myself but It's illogical because i'd be unnecessarily burdening my family and friends. My life is invaluable, yet I wont kill myself for that very reason. The way I see it I have no reason to live. Then again, I have no reason to die either. So I guess I'll just continue on existing.

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I guess this was a mistake. Maybe I'm just writing to vent, in the hopes that when the threads 404's. It'll take these thoughts with it. That way, they'll no longer plague my mind.

Maybe i'm just over analyzing it all. Maybe it is a gift I can utilize, not having emotions. Emotions are a powerful thing, but they can also be a crutch. They can build you high, yet at the same time they can break you at the knee. At this point I don't really care though. I just want to experience one, on it's own, so I can grasp what it's like, and truly understand it and be able to really empathize with my peers. So I no longer have to live a lie. It's all so confusing, I don't even understand why I'm so perplexed though. It's honestly a waste of time gnawing over it but alas, here I am doing just that.

Tl; dr

Do you already have a psychologist to talk to because this place won't work

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give this man a feels thread already. I would contribute but i got nothin saved

>>737505135
Why is dog go eye black

>>737505222
doggo sad-o

>>737505103
No, however a close friend I confide in who knows the real me mentioned seeing one, he didn't think I needed one per-say, but thought it might be something to consider had I began to see this as being problematic. I may just see one to humor my curiosity and see what a professional has to say.

>>737505294
Op should seek help because not b3ing sad or depressed just nothing sounds weird to me

>>737505135
Maybe he is just watching the water droplet's roll down the window and is racing them. Since he is so focused, he just looks sad, but behind the presumably sad face is just a lot of concentration and focus.

>>737505295
Just talk with with a psychologist just talking makes things better from what I'm told

>>737505349
That's what my family told me, but from my pov. Being so emotional sounds weird to me, I know people who "cry over spilled milk" often and things of that nature. I don't understand being sad over things and wallowing in it. It just seems more logical to save the energy you would be consuming by being melancholy and utilize doing something more meaningful. Instead of stressing over things and getting in a jumbled mess, just let it go since it isn't in your control, and no measure of stressing or sorrow will reconcile the situation.

>>737505511
it goes against your biology to hold emotions in. trust me. i did it as a child now im one fucked up adult

>>737505511
Do you ever laugh or have fun

See, I can see where it'd be problematic, however it isn't in my control. I'd take feeling depression over nothing honestly just so I can feel something at all, but I can't. I genuinely don't feel anything, and when I try I can tell it's synthetic and forced. Like I said, the only time I feel emotion is randomly and all at once for a brief period, then it's back to nothing for God knows how long.

>>737505788
you don't feel depression. depression makes you feel nothing. tnats why its so awful

>>737505777
Objectively yes, I hangout with my friends and our
hangouts always end in smiles and laughs and everyone always makes plans to meet again so i'd say I have fun. But that's on a logical level. I guess I have "fun" because my friends have fun, and so long as they're having fun then that's a win in my book. I don't really consider my own feelings, because of the lack thereof.
I laugh as well, but I laugh because it seems appropriate to do so. I laugh when people tell jokes, because you laugh at jokes. I laugh when others are laughing because that seems like the natural thing to-do, i'm hoping with enough synthesis it'll eventually become "natural" for me and I can do it without thinking, and for the most part it's gotten that way, but deep down it still seems somewhat fake, nobody else seems to notice though so oh well.

>TLDR Objectively, yes.

Numbness is a thing you can get from depresion

>>737505937
Then am I depressed? I feel nothing, yet I don't consider myself sad, so much as I consider myself confused as to why I feel nothing.

>>737506072
I guess so

>>737506072
imo yes

>>737503737
hey op, i have a similar problem with my emotions but you have 1 thing that i want, sometimes u got them back randomly. The last time i felt something i was 15, now i´m at my 22, my mother don´t understand me and my dad doesn´t talk to me cause i don´t smile :) i only have one think to say, life with it or end your life (medicine would help but not for ever)

>>737506225
>>737506228
Interesting, maybe it's just a hormonal imbalance thing? I do recall reading during my web searching on the subject that hormones and what not can play a big role in emotions, dopamine and serotonin and what not.

>>737506345
go to a doctor and find out

>>737506237
Well I guess for once we can both finally truly "empathize" with someone. I think at this moment I would laugh if I did feel emotions, it seems appropriate. Don't think it's nice though, i'd almost rather be in your shoes honestly. It can be debilitating when it happens. There's no telling when it's going to happen either, don't get me wrong. I'm not embarrassed by it, simply because I cant be do to lack of feeling, but it is rather problematic having relationships with peers and coworkers be "off" because they've seen you randomly sob and laugh and leave a room or better yet continue working through said sobbing and laughter. I've only been caught in public with it 3x, and only once was it bad enough for me to leave so as to not potentially disrupt my peers.

>>737506469
T his guy get it do this op

>>737503737
Hey you, you fuckin faggot!

if you cant feel anything, you are lucky.
still. i hope youdie. just record it. stream it so you will live on as a rektsacrifice

fag.

Go to a doc and get antidepressants. Take em for two months, most take 3-4 weeks to kick in. Once you are getting the medical help use the emotional boost to get shit done. Breaking the cycle is the most important thing. And dont just half ass it, stay the course as long as possible. Once you have some feels back work out whats got you all wired wrong and work on fixing it. Once you fix that shit you go off the meds and be the big boy we all know you are.

>>737506705
Your a fab got but why did you insult someone who can't even feel the the insult

>>737506777
because.


shithead.

This is a common symptom of autism.

or you have bad coping skills and formed bad habits when it comes to emotion

>>737506705
Like I said man, I honestly would because I really don't see the point in living, or dying for that matter. However, from an objective stand point, the pros of living outweigh the cons.
Namely the fact that if I killed myself my family and friends would be burdened and morally that is a selfish thing todo, so for that reason I wont commit suicide.

>>737506882
I considered that initially, but my social skills are fine, my close friend was honestly shocked when I told him, and my family as well. I had at one point felt emotion.

>>737506959
op im >>737506237 again here, have u tired to play some games? something like wow? try them, the empty feeling will dissapear but u wont get ur emotions back

>>737506959
DO IT. DO A FLIP. just record it. fuck your family (record it if you do actually fux your family). You ARE suck. weakpussy. actually totally selfish for NOt killingself. fuckoff.

Goodnight op I have to go to sleep

>>737507250
Wish I could say the same, I'm also an insomniac. Sweet dreams /b/ro.

>>737507190
This is why I don't understand emotions. I think this is a joke, but if you're serious. Why would you honestly try and talk someone else into ending their own life? Morally, emotions or not, I consider that a negative action. It just doesn't make sense to me. I would ask you to elaborate as to why you'd do such a thing, but I imagine this is just a troll, however in the off chance you'd care to explain I wouldn't mind to hear why.

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>>737507020
Well, I can tell you from experience with my struggle with chronic depression for the passed decade or so, that at it's worst, everything is grey and dull; even the things I love most just draw a big flatline and I kind of go through life like a zombie. Also, I can relate to reminiscing about feeling content, like it's distant memory. There's a common misconception that being depressed is being sad, but it's not the case. I'm not saying it's what you have, but getting analyzed by people who make their living doing this stuff is the first step to changing.

You say you don't feel, but you know you don't like the way you feel right now. Self awareness is a great thing to have.

>>737507533
>Why would you honestly try and talk someone else into ending their own life?
because it is beneficial to the rest of/continued survival of the species you fucking plebe. that's why. it's not rocket science.

>>737507533
in the end, morals and survival want nothing to do with one another, kid.

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>>737507664

>>737503737
I remember being numb, much better than the feels I feel now.

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>>737507753

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>>737507905

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>>737508056

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>>737508182

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>>737508353

>>737507664
>>737507738
Well I'm a contributing member of society, I work, I make money, I pay taxes, I even mow my neighbors yard for free and pick up her groceries for her. I've done volunteer work, i've literally saved a life. I think need be I can survive just fine, I can even shoot a gun, start a fire, and hold my own in a fist fight.

Aside from that though, back to "morals and survival want nothing to do with one another, kid." I don't understand. I understand the whole in a survival situation being morally "nice" and helping someone could get you backstabbed and killed. However, in those situations I think logically and consider the outcomes, ex. Do they appear physically stronger than me, are they armed, how long would I survive if I split my rations between the both of us, would they make a reasonable friend/ally, etc.

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>>737508420

>>737508484
>I work, I make money, I pay taxes, I even mow my neighbors yard for free and pick up her groceries for her. I've done volunteer work, i've literally saved a life
part of the problem
>i don't understand
part of the problem
>i'm a faggot
part of the problem

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>>737508516

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>>737508766

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>>737508855
>U

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>>737508916

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>>737509012

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>>737509012
this ends. sparta?

>>737508722
ah now I see, you're a troll. Well thank you for humoring me none the less. Your opinion has been noted.

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>>737509148

>>737509294
>you're a troll
and you're the equivalent of the lefttards who call everyone a nazi and a racist. fuck off. note THAT, fuckhead.

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>>737509499

>>737509545
Personally, I think racism is a joke, there are more white people offended by the word nigger or any other racial slur for that matter than any blacks are nowadays. At the end of the day they're just words. Who cares what someone calls you, it only bothers you if you choose to let it.

Also, noted.

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>>737509574

>>737509817
fuck you, nigger.

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>>737510055

>>737503737
Take Estroven for 30 days, report back.

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>>737510282

>>737509817
Racism is not only about words.

>>737510380
yeah, but words are how you let those nigger beaners know whats up, you just gotta translate.

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>>737510380

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Does this make you feel anything?