Be honest, would you survive prison?

>>737306020
Unfortunately my rectum would give up long before my will.

>>737306020
Jail here is a hotel. Didn't care much. There was even a time when jail was a better option than being at home but I would barely survive in a 3rd world jail like The US.

>>737306020
Probably. I'm 6 ft 7 and 300 pounds.

Then again I also would keep getting thrown in solitary so I can have a private cell

>>737306281
Piss off yoy Chilean faggot

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>>737306020
Define survive

>>737306020
No. I would an hero before going to prison.

>>737306020
Yep, not proud of it but ill prolly do alright.

>>737306281
tl;dr : I'm a giant faggot so no, I wouldn't survive in an actual prison.

Inb4 internet tough guy: I did 4 years in federal lockup.

>>737306518
Answer me this.

I've been told to make zero friends and talk to no one, no matter what. Seems like it would make people hate me, and seem like a snob.

Mind you, I wouldn't be in for a sex crime, probably assault up to murder

Im a CO and its hard enough
Doubt any of you fags would last a minute in a supermax

>>737306020
Spent a couple of years in jail, pretty much stand your ground or get fucked.

I stayed quiet, made a few friends.
Kept to a tight schedule and made that 12 euros a week by working
Whenever someone wants shit wait and see if they actually want to go on with it or are just playing
If they do want to start shit with you just stand your ground
Don't get involved with religion people in prison

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I work in a prison, fuck all that shit.

>>737306630
Aren't supermax the ones where they are locked in cell 23 hours?

How the fuck would you not survive?

>>737306628
You beat the shit outa the first person you see that you think you can take. Establish rep immediately fish

>>737306630
James holmes did fag
He was more of a faggot then probably you

>>737306687
Fam I ain't going to jail this is theoretical.

Didn't answer me either

>>737306665
Thats only solitary man, gen pop is out for lunch and rec. Ive seen a man cut off anothers testicle

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>>737306281
you must be from norway

I bet tons of starving third world people would give up a leg to get life in prison in norway.

>>737306752
greentext?

>>737306752
That sounds pretty gay

>>737306834
No, thats when the cholos take a blonde 20 something pretty boy and hang up sheets in their cell

I guess survivability in prison is quite heavily based on what you went in for. If it's a sex crime you'll get beaten up, if it's gang related you'll have some of your crew to take care of you. If it's drugs theft or moderate violence, you are probably ok unless you are either a sissy or go looking for trouble.

>>737306687
Don't do this unless you want to get violated your first day. Keep to yourself and hold your ground when someone tries you

I was in state prison for 30 months. The prison is known to be bad. I am white

If you keep your head down, don't get involved in other people's business and gossip, you will be fine. The only thing you need to worry about is being on good terms with your cellmate. Don't do dumb shit like strolling through the yard or conversing with a CO in front of other people. You just need to stick to the corner where your race is, deal with them in passing and just wait for your time to be over. You WILL have to interact with gangs, it's inevitable, but that doesn't mean you need to join one or get into beef with them. Over time you'll learn who to avoid, how to anticipate shit going down, etc

This whole "you'll get raped" in prison is bullshit. Even I knew that before going in. I never once heard of a sexual assault while I was in prison. The only dudes that have sex with other men are guys that want to. No one rolls into your cell and forces you to suck their dick.

And no you don't need to beat up some dude to earn respect. That's retarded. Only legit gang bangers try and pull that off. The correct way to start your sentence is to walk in, keep your chin up but don't bother anyone, and that huge guy you supposedly need to fuck up for "respect" will either not give a fuck about you or notice you at all

i was in prison ... get several times beaten up, but survived. no rape shit happens. was sent there for 2 years, but was there for 5, cause of some assault shit happens.

>>737306916
Uh-huh. And what do they do with him?

>>737307618
anal for protection

>>737306020
never been there but i'd probably just keep attempting to escape until i succeed or was killed. fuck other prisoners. fuck guards. fuck prison culture. fuck gangs. let them beat, cut ,rape, taze and pepperspray me. if i get too weak to escape anymore i'll just kill myself.

let no man keep you.

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>>737306020
Less than a year, maybe. Short-term stints get their own cells and the only interaction you get with other inmates is the mess hall and recreation. Other than that, you can spend the entire time in your cell if you want.
Longer than a year? Fuck no. You get put in this big huge room with nothing but cots and like four restroom stalls for 100 people. Every night someone gets picked for firewatch, but instead of fires you're watching out for dicks and/or shivs (not necessarily in that order).
All in all, prison is pretty shitty no matter what, for both the prisoners and the guards. Brother is a CO, but he is looking to transfer out to first response. He will only be there for prison riots, which hasn't happened in like 20 years, and, in extreme cases were law enforcement is totally out manned, civil unrest.

>>737306687
Yeah. Except everybody gets that advice so it doesn't really work that way.

I'd be fine. I'm one of those people that blends into about any group and makes "friends" easily. Plus, I'm not Jackie Chan or anything but, I can at least hold my own in a fight.

>>737306281
Prison and jail are 2 different places kiddo, nice rp tho

>>737306020
possibly im pretty good at welding so i could weld my buttcheeks shut

>>737306652
>religion people
which these days means radical muslims

>>737308357
i've heard a big guy say he beat the shit out of so many first dayers who had obviously been told to take on the biggest guy straight away lol

>>737308180
real

I'm a C/O at a rather large prison, so let's say that no one knew about my job, then yes, I would, and I'd get over on more shit than any I/M for damn sure. If they knew? Dead in a couple days probably. I'm a Sergeant too, so I'd be really fucked over. Rightly so, I'd hate me too, if so were them. I'm not though.

>>737308180
>firewatch
explain plox. he's lookin out for other people in the room or wut?
so far it kinda sounds like the army

>>737306020

Depends on the prison. I suspect as long as it's not a 3rd world one where I'd stick out like a sore thumb then the usual strategy of keeping your head down would work fine. As long as I had books and skills to learn and practice, it'd be manageable, the noise notwithstanding.

Depends on how long.

Short stay, no problem; long stay, an hero.

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>>737306020
Not only would I survive...I would be running the fucking place inside the first year
However if I was only doing a nickel and killed some moron on the inside I'd wind up with life

>>737306020
Yeah just get into supermax.
Throw you in a cell almost 24/7 with a tv, food delivered.

I was in jail for two weeks. The first day I was eating and some nigger came and deliberately took some food off my tray.

I picked up the tray and bashed him in the head with it. I didn't win the fight but showed everyone that if you fuck with me there will be trouble.

No one ever fucked with me again even though I lost the fight.

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Yes yes
Prison prison I'm so gay
White boy need black cock I want it
Half the prison in mmy ass
All holes clogged at all times

>>737306765
Here, that chair would be whittled into a stack of shivs by nightfall. That bookshelf and mirror fashioned into a primeval weapon with strips of the sheets as wrist support. The female guard (placed there by court order) would be forced onto that bed and violated in ways that would defy description. By the time her last cries would be heard, Malik Abu Whatever would be miles away after busting out that window.

>>737306020
depends on the prison

Don't want to be in one where the majority of prisoners have life sentences

I enjoyed prison while I was there. I sucked my cellmate's dick like 4 times a day. Anal was okay but sucking his dick was so fun.

no, i do not play well with others and would likely be killed within a few weeks of pissing off anyone and everyone.

>>737306020
I once stole a very large tank full of seawater and about 7 baby sharks using a small forklift and then proceeded to party with the sharks and a few friends on a beach. We lit a massive bon fire after a little while and eventually the coast guard Patrol passed us and we all darted. Later that night I saw on the local news that the tank I stole was for some new aquarium. Not a single regret there. I got to party for 6hrs with sharks on the beach and we fed them some random gulls. Not many people can say they have done something like that.

>>737312066

jail is fuckloads different than prison

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Piece of cake. I'd smash the fuck out of any wog or paki starting trouble and get in with the career criminals. Ones who respect a man needs to earn money even if it leads to jail. Stick together, make jokes, talk man stuff and learn their criminal tips etc.

In the Uk there are so many muslim cults in each prison. They recruit the weak "fraggles" and junkies into their bullshit religion. The niggers aren't an issue and the race divide is minimal. It's the muslims that stand out actively. But I'd still bash any coon who thinks he can touch me or be anything but polite, as with any bitch.

I'd also read, workout and maybe rape the odd twink for fun. When it comes to a fight.. lol fun begins. I'd eat peoples faces after I smash them and grapple them down. Always swallow the nose! Rip off the eyebrow meat, ears etc and drench myself in the blood. behave like a fucking lunatic, use my mental health background as a defence and swag it to nice cell in psych ward with as much valium as I can stomache and the odd dribbling retard to talk crazy shit with.

>>737315237
Ok

>>737306020
depends on how long <5 years yes otherwise probably not

>>737306020
I'm white and mexican so probs not. my uncle went to prison a bunch of times and he says whites and the beaners dont accept him so he's all by his lonesome.

>>737306381
Bad news for you man... if you're really that size, you're constantly gonna have people coming at you, trying to prove a point.

Same basic logic why a lot of NFL players can't go out to bars or clubs without a bodyguard, assholes everywhere take a look at them and say to themselves, "he's not so tough, ima beat his ass". Whether they can or not, in prison, sooner or later some crazy little shit is gonna blind side you just because you're the biggest guy in the room...

>>737315310
this guy gets it. and federal time is the easiest time you can get. it's a country club compared to the pen