>How to get laid advice thread lets hear your questions!

what if shew has a penis

How do I speak to a girl without looking like a creep.

>>737301643
If it is dead should you wear a jimmy?

File: Screenshot_20170109-231741.png (678KB, 720x1280px)

678KB, 720x1280px

>>737301643
gonna be bumping with girls ive had sex with

alcohol and friends then prey on the weak

>>737301687
then youre gay, and dont belong in this hetero male advice thread

>>737301744
yes, you can still contract diseases from the deceased, wear a condom especially if you dont know them

>>737301764
wow thanks, I'm going to party tomorrow this will be used

>>737301643
>don't post anything from the office (us)
>don't use exclamation marks

Inb4 someone does both in a "witty" response

>>737301700
dont be an autist
and practice
>and fail
and brush it off and keep practicing
talk to everyone and get better at not being nervous
(op here)

>>737301750
Whats her name Anon? She looks exactly like my girlfriend...

File: Screenshot_20161127-132850.png (380KB, 720x1280px)

380KB, 720x1280px

>>737301890
shes a tall jew
is that her?

>>737301940
>>737301940
Thank god, the face and boobs are identical, but my gf is short. Weird shit.

>>737301700
If you just want to talk normally, then that's all you have to do. Just strike up a conversation that's natural, not forced.

>natural conversation
You guys start talking because you sit next to each other in class or something.

>forced conversation
She's by herself sitting on a bench and you go and sit down and try talking to her. It makes you look weird if you don't have above average looks trying to force a conversation.

Be nice, be smart and be smoot.
In the bed, treat a queen like a hoe and a hoe like a queen.

File: Screenshot_20161115-225022.png (573KB, 720x1280px)

573KB, 720x1280px

>>737302000
5'10"

>>737302034
that second line is actual solid advice

File: IMG_4207.jpg (73KB, 640x499px)

73KB, 640x499px

im such an idiot when i talk to women i usually end up talking about the weather or some national tragedy, and i dont know shot about sports
>myhandsfacewhen

>>737302402
Try and open a conversation with humor. If they don't laugh, well now you know they have no sense of humor and shouldn't be worth your time OR you let your autism out and made a racist joke OR you make the racist joke and she laughs and makes one too, then you gotta wife her.

women want

1: money? no money? get comedy.

2: muscly arms? dont have? good luck!

3: big benis? dont have? good luck

4: talkers? can u speak and relate to them? no? good luck?

else you can act like an experienced lover in a night club and pick up bunches of girls. that happens a bunch. girls like experience too.

girls are pretty superficial. would still fuck.

>>737302402
(op here)
ive been with 31 girls and i dont watch tv or give a shit about sports.
i cant answer many questions either
its not important

>>737301643
I was dancing in a club Saturday night and EVERY SINGLE GIRL came up to dance with me. From 1/10s to 10/10s. But I could never follow through to ACTUALLY just dancing with them. I tried to start a conversation with them, which was pointless cos the music was so loud. TOwards the end of the night I was getting frustrated so the girls that were coming up to me I eventually put my hands on their hips and they automatically turned and looked at me like I was a perve then walked away. I really didn't get it. What am I supposed to do next?

>>737302666
That goes back to the question I've heard a while back, would you rather fuck a supermodel and no one believes you, or not fuck a supermodel but everyone thinks you did?

One anon brought a good point that women will think you're desirable if they think you fucked a supermodel, leading to more pussy than you'd get with actually fucking the model.

>>737302771
Just dance, no touch, but try and talk to them while dancing like getting a drink with them so you guys can move out of the crowd and talk.

>>737302771
good question
>dont try and pick up girls from clubs especially if theres dancing involved
>lots of girls who are in relationships go
>lots of girls who are there just to dance and dont want to go anywhere with anyone
>lots of girls go to relax and de stress the way us men relax in front of videogames or tv to relax after a long day, some women go dance or go out with friends and dont wanna be boithered,
just because girls dance with you doesnt mean any of them are interested. most of the time thyere not, unless they make the first move in a club dont try and pick up girls there

How do I let her go?

File: I+feel+you+bro.+I+m+known+as+a+pretty+cool+_8eab2a22518eb50b880e2d0501b88e12.jpg (49KB, 523x514px)

49KB, 523x514px

>>737303395

>>737302968
thanks anon. Just to be clear, I wasn't trying to pick up, just wanted to dance with them which they all clearly were coming up to do. They were the ones making the move, not me.

I haven't talked to girls for years, I'd love to hear some advice.

File: IMG_4418.jpg (154KB, 1200x500px)

154KB, 1200x500px

>>737302968
where is a good place
>inb4 the library

>>737303530
so you didnt dance with them but they came up to you? what did they do? what did they say?

>maybe youre misinterpreting body language from these females because youre an autist?

>>737302771
Tap them on the shoulder, point at the bar and make a drinking motion.
>if they oblige, you're set, if not shrug and move on

>>737303465
I'm just in pain. I love her, but I need to let her go. She has some one else.

>>737303612
besides in my own bed or theirs
>ive had a lot of sex in the car
>camping
>at parties other peoples beds or couches
>public restrooms
>in the dark at night anywhere
>in the woods behind bushes kinda thing
>in restaurant bathrooms whenever you go eat
>movie theater if its kinda empty

File: rw2vDmv.gif (2MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 400x225px

>>737302968
solid advice anon

>>737303395
Truthfully, you'll never forget someone you thought you were in love with.
But just like with friends, you can grow apart and as much as you want things to go back to the way they were they won't.

All you can do is just try your best to live normally, just without her. Who knows, maybe you'll find love again and soon she'll just be a memory. A happy one I'd hope, but a memory nonetheless.

>>737303729
solid

File: 1488742819050.png (189KB, 407x333px)

189KB, 407x333px

>lets hear your questions!
OK. I'll ask you a few questions before I give you advice.

Where do you think the difficulty you have getting laid stems from?
Is it psychological or physical?

File: Screenshot_20161116-160503.png (381KB, 720x1280px)

381KB, 720x1280px

>>737303811
theres more where that came from, keep the questions coming
(op here)
bumping with more girls

my girlfriend farts in her sleep what should i do?

>>737303864
She's my friend, and I love her as a person. But I just want to see her as a friend, and continue to be her friend. She's found someone and I just want that pain to stop.

>>737303872
I've never even been to the club, but at least I don't have autism
>dancing with grill
>music too loud
>doesn't improvise
Lel, anyways you can buy her a drink and chat and if it's still to loud go to smoke and ask if she wants to join you

>>737303646
i may very well be an autist. But it seemed like this happened multiple times. I was dancing in the middle of the d-floor and during the course of the night chicks would make their way towards me and position themselves right in front. i did not move. I then tried to talk to them which was impossible so gave up on that. I then tried putting my hands on their hips but got the pervy scoff as they walked away. All I'm wondering is what other options do I have

>>737303729
this may be the ticket!

>>737303910
>not op
i guess it depends but id say physcological when i talk to girls my palms get sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, and spaghetti everywhere

>>737304016
you cant be her friend unless it ended badly and yall were both mad at each other
some time passed
and you "forgive" each other for whatever happened and joke about it
otherwise you will both only be awkward

>>737301643
>lets hear your questions!

What about women do you specifically need the most advice on?
Have you ever had sex or are you still a virgin?
Is your penis just a little bit small or is it a micropenis
Do you have a job?
Do you have any plans to move out of your mother's house any times soon?

I need answers to these questions before I can begin to give you advice.

File: IMG_4419.jpg (38KB, 480x640px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 480x640px

why is it hard for a gentlemen such as myself to get girls

>>737304103
>>not op
Then what the fuck are you talking to me for. Op started a thread asking for advice about women. I asked him a few questions so that I can give him advice.

You don't belong in this conversation.

>>737304016
If you love her, you should be happy if she's happy. Not hurting because she found someone new.
It sucks seeing the one you love with someone else, but remember, there's a whole world full of women. You should just get out there and be yourself. Another one like her, will reveal herself, and you'll fall in love all over again and it'll be amazing.

>>737304086
bro, if you were in the same spot all night girls "came up to you" to be in the middle of the dance floor, and to leave and come back and all the girls are doing this moving around different spots.
>especially if there is a stage
>the girls will want to be closest to the stage
>if youre all the way close to the stage i will seem like a million girls came up to you that night
>but in reality its just them getting closer to the band or dj
you misinterpreted what they were doing

>>737304117
Nah, it's nothing like that. I just found out she was dating is all. I just really like her, I want her to be happy, but it still hurts to know that it's with someone else.

>>737304204
I'd fuck you daddy.

Are you still a virgin Op?
Do you still live with your mom?
Do you have a car and a job?

File: Screenshot_20161120-152211.png (366KB, 720x1280px)

366KB, 720x1280px

>>737304187
this thread is for the non virgins to answer the virgins questions
you missed the point of the thread

>>737304204
Top kek

>lets hear your questions!
What do you find the most confusing about women that is interfering with your ability to get laid?

>>737304276
(op here) i was offering advice, not asking for any
>you missed the point of the thread

>>737304358
>you missed the point of the thread
No, I didn't. This thread is to help Op figure out how to get laid.

He specifically said so in his Op.

>>737303770
Dearest anon, there are so many ppl living in this world. Just move on and find somebody else. Did you ever move to another town? It's just like that. You think you loose everything you had and hang onto the remaining ruins and fail to realize that you'll just find a new home. takes a little time ofc

>>737304280
Thank you, that's what I'm thinking myself. I'm so happy for her. She's a blessing. It's just that it's taken me so long to find someone like her. She's one in a million.

I still want to be her friend, I don't want to go. I have respect for her.

>>737304303
yea its gonna hurt longer unless you were mad at her
but since it sounds like it didnt end badly, its gonna be awkward and suck more

>>737304431
It's Ok, Op. Don't get cold feet now. You want advice on how to get laid and I'm here for you.

Do you at least have a job?
What kind of car do you drive?

>>737304493
you dont want to be her friend. it will only be awkward and youre gonna cuck yourself
and if youre trying to get over her youre gonna make it worse

File: IMG_4420.jpg (114KB, 750x1021px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 750x1021px

>>737304316
serious question why couldnt eliot rodger get laid he had money cars but no women you would think at least some money grubbing whore would have a stab at it....

>>737301643
>lets hear your questions!

Have you ever had sex at all? Have you ever kissed a girl?
Do you still live with your mom? Do you have a car?

I need to know what I'm working with before I can begin to give you advice.

>>737304548
I was offering advice like in another thread
Not asking for any
>im 23 and been with 31 girls

>>737304493
Of course you don't have to let her go. If she's your friend who's special to you, keep her that way.
Just have the respect for her and the guy she's in a relationship with to not doing anything stupid like confessing your love for her while she's in the relationship, or going for a kiss if you misread a mood.

Just make yourself available to other women instead of just giving up on love is what I'm trying to get it.

File: $RGEWYH4.gif (749KB, 245x164px)

749KB, 245x164px

>>737304431
>(op here) i was offering advice
That's funny.
>we got ourselves a ladies man

>>737304581
if youre autistic around women you wont get laid.
why do you think fat guys or ugly guys or poor guys or small dick guys get laid still?
because theyre not spaghetti spewing around women.
a lot of men are asutists and blame it on the superficial things like money or dick or fitness
but what it really is is how you can talk to a woman and how you hold yourself

>>737304629
Don't be embarrassed. It's Ok to admit that you need some advice.

Just answer a few questions first so I can help you out.
How old are you?
How tall are you?
What is your sexual experience with women?

Is this a cringe thread?

>>737304187
Fucc it
Let's go
> want to fuck ( don't desire to fuck girls i like and know bc akward situations and risking friendships)
> random hookups would be perfect
>virgin
> above average dick but no girl has ever seen it so i guess it doesn't matter
> am just finishing school
> have no job
>university is next step
> live with mom ( i just finish school so that's nothing special)
> help me

>>737304629
SURE you did. I believe you.
>no, really.

File: Screenshot_20170525-231427.png (1MB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 720x1280px

>>737304757
23, and 31 girls.
already said that
>not asking for advice

>>737301643
op, reccomend me work out programs to get a cute butt

File: IMG_4416.jpg (120KB, 634x517px)

120KB, 634x517px

>>737304629
do you usually go for high class hookers or streetwalkers
>craigslist or backpage
is it safe
>should i wear sheep skin condoms if the whore says shes alergic to latex

>>737304807
If you think about it, every thread on internet discussion boards are cringe. Now fuck off.

>>737304840
(op here)
alright yall have fun with this flipped thread, gonna go to bed
done giving advice i guess

>>737304657
Thanks, that's what I intend to do. Nothing bad happened, was just part of the conversation. We're still friends.

And I won't be confessing my love to her or anything. I just hope I can find someone like her one day. Such a beautiful heart.

>>737304741
how do you think he acted lol

>>737304581
Look at his eyes. He never wanted to get a girl. He wanted to fly above them. He was meant to become a hero

File: Screenshot_20170525-230217.png (1MB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 720x1280px

>>737304904
>N been with a prostitute
>Tinder
>They make latex free condoms...
(op here)

>>737301643
24 and 12 girls. Nothing much, but still enough. Most of them are active partners and with one I am in relationship. My question would be: how to convert my current partner into liking to become part of a openly polygamic relationship?

>>737304993
kek

>>737304880
Why are you here then? Who gives a fuck?
>thread about help for virgins
> dude goes in and claims he is the coolest motherfucker on the planet
SIT THE FUCK DOWN MR. WORLDWIDE

File: RedPill.jpg (15KB, 520x390px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 520x390px

Op is a poser. Ignore him.

inner game:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9i7WvCe8ko
outer game:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8E-lmub6R8

Seduction techniques are are just tools in a tool box. Some people use a hammer to create, other people use a hammer to harm. The fact that some people use a hammer to harm doesn't make a hammer bad. The men who hate pick up artists are idiots who only focused on outer game, completely neglected inner game and gave up in frustration without putting in the time necessary to really know the techniques. They are like bad carpenters and bad carpenters always blame their tools.

The hardest thing that is going to be for you to accept is that your understanding of what triggers attraction to a man within a woman is wrong. As in, not correct. Mistaken. Misinformed. Female attraction literally has nothing to do with your physical appearance. If you insist on continuing to assert that your appearance is a factor, then keep on doing the exact same thing you've been doing over and over again, expecting a different result each time like an idiot. There is no helping you.

If you are ready to try different perspective on female attraction, consider this.
All women have 5 universal attraction triggers. In no particular order, they are:
1. He is the leader of men
2. He is a successful risk taker
3. He has a willingness to emote (laughs, doesn't speak in a monotone voice)
4. He is a protector of loved ones
5. He is preselected by other women.

You could look like Brad Pitt from the movie fight club, but if you aren't demonstrating to women that you have at least one of the above five traits, you aren't getting laid. Sexual arousal in women stems from jealousy. Women become horny at the thought of a rival woman attempting to steal access to the life their man has built for himself; a life she buys access to by trading pussy to be part of it.

Basically, girls are prostitutes. They sell their pussy to gain access to a masculine social group.

File: Screenshot_20170521-115534.png (438KB, 720x1280px)

438KB, 720x1280px

>>737305080
ooo thats a tough one man, it really has to be natural
Some women just arnt into that and you have to accept that
Really about how you ask though and if shes open minded from the start
>good idea to bring that up in the beginning of a relationship when establishing boundaries and rules
>not when youve been together a year and randomly bring up you wanna fuck other people too

>>737305158
(op here) this is solid advice

File: IMG_4421.jpg (28KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 480x360px

>>737305055
you're right dude....he looks like a snake

File: field_2.jpg (25KB, 330x305px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 330x305px

>>737304288
here's a diagram

>>737305466
dont know what to tell you man other than maybe mis read interaction
or girls at that club were just there to dance and maybe youre attractive but they didnt want anything more than to be around you
>id have to be there to tell you what was weird

>>737305466
Retard.
>claims entire club rubbed pussy on his leg
> admits they had their backs turned to him
>but nobody wanted to "dance together"
Dude what would be the point?

Oh hey i'm a drunk bitch. oh see that guy over there? let's go boii :3. Nvm fucking pervert.

The fuck is your story?

im attracted to lesbians any advice on picking up one

>>737305947
dont

>>737305947
Well if you're a lesbian too, then all this advice applies. If you're a man trying to get a lesbian, then either you're an idiot or some sort of seductive god.

>>737306079
any advice on slipping them girls a mickey

>>737306079
how do you slip a mickey

>>737306079
My next door neighbor is a dick loving dyke. Technically, she's bisexual. But she is terrified that I'll tell her lesbian friends that she likes dick and I use the threat of telling them to make her submit to my sexual bidding.

>>737306849
got any dyke pics

>>737304827
if you dont go out much just wait till uni i guess and hope there is someone

>>737304954
Did you actually give any advice? What a waste of time this thread has been. I bet OP is a virgin

>>737305158
This pickup artist/red pill bull shit never works in real life, women see right through it or just think you doesn't know how to talk to people. And they DEFINITELY DO care about looks, unless your loaded or famous or really cool. This is coming from many years of experience.

>>737301643
Advice for the peenor putting in a girl.

Shout SEXY TIME at the top of your voice. Do this repeatedly and the light of your furthest horizon will quickly understand whats up.
Put the peenor in her grimble grumble. You know what it is.
Punch her in the face repeatedly, you can do this before the peenor putting to iniate the transaction.
One she is dead from all the face punching you must eat or bury her.
Tell no one.

File: 19424152_1603489216376134_4187452198677819988_n.png (334KB, 640x632px)

334KB, 640x632px

Everything you've seen in television and film about dating and relationships is bullshit. There are no sparks, magic moments or chicks that are just your fit.

It's only a numbers game. Even if you're decent-looking and socially competent you'll strike 9 out of 10 times for whatever reason.

In truth it's really mundane, like being recruiter for a charity/religion or a salesperson.

When you're in your mid or late 30s you'll just go "fuck it" and settle with the chick you're with.

Enjoy