I feel like reading /b/. TOP TIER green text stories.

Bumpitty bump

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I don't have any OP. But I'll bump a few times.

Also they totally knew. Think of all the shit we thought we were sneaky about when younger and cringe. LOOK BACK AND CRINGE AT US.

Also some r34

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Somebody else better start fucking contributing

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kek

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I fuckin hate pickles

Dont have any so im bumping

>>737267361
This is God tier

>>737265763
I was just on ifunny too, anon

>>737270259
You think im original nigger? Im just trying to get some Greentext rolling for the Keks.

bumparooni

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http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/4783453/Best+greentext+story+ever/

>>737270643
I know, but I don't have any Greentext to contribute so I'm just playing the role of that one faggot

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This gets me every time lel

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>>737265763

>>737274192
some of these guys should be writers

>>737265763
Holy shit when I was younger I wanked on a roadtrip but I can only imagine shit hitting the fan that hard

>>737267928
this one got a great kek and boner out of me

>btw the boner came from the pic and the kek came from the story to avoid any possible confusion

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sharing is caring

>>737267413
>Kissing his hand

You know that was just in his ass crack when he was sitting on the bus kek

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This is a good one too

>>737275451
Shit wrong pic but still funny

>be op

>>737273806
This never fails to ruffle my jimmies
Ive never said someone unironically deserved death, but his family did

What the alas didst thee just fucking sayeth about me, thee dram wench? i’ll has't thee knoweth i graduat'd top of mine own class in the navy seals, and i’ve been involv'd in num'rous secret raids on al-quaeda, and i has't ov'r 300 confirm'd kills. I am did train in g'rilla warfare and i’m the top snip'r in the entire us cap-a-pe f'rces. Thou art nothing to me but just anoth'r targeteth. I shall wipeth thee the alas out with precision the likes of which hast nev'r been seen bef're on this earth, marketh mine own fucking w'rds. Thee bethink thee can receiveth hence with declaring yond the horror to me ov'r the int'rnet? bethink again, alas'r. As we speaketh i am contacting mine own secret netw'rk of spies across the usa and thy ip is being trac'd even but now so thee bett'r prepareth f'r the st'rm, maggot. The st'rm yond wipes out the pathetic dram thing thee calleth thy life. You’re fucking dead, peat. I can beest anywh're, anytime, and i can killeth thee in ov'r seven hundr'd ways, and that’s just with mine own bareth hands. Not only am i extensively did train in unarm'd combat, but i has't access to the entire arsenal of the unit'd states marine c'rps and i shall useth t to its full extent to wipeth thy mis'rable rampallian off the visage of the continent, thee dram the horror. If 't be true only thee couldst has't known what unholy retribution thy dram “clev'r” comment wast about to bringeth down upon thee, haply thee wouldst has't did hold thy fucking tongue. But thee couldn’t, thee didn’t, and anon you’re paying the price, thee goddamn clotpole. I shall the horror fury all ov'r thee and thee shall drowneth in t. You’re fucking dead, kiddo

>>737267841
hhahahahahah

>>737271278
if this is real then the world is a better place than i thought it was

Don't feel like pulling up the pictures but the two best GTs I've ever read were

1) The Ghost Puncher
2) The Legend of Doradus