Males: Prove your alpha or beta male status using any means necessary.

>>737261027
I own a 2014 honda civic outright

>>737261027
I've never had a girlfriend even though I have tried many a time. I have no idea how to handle women, and I always get friend zoned
beta

>>737261027
I don't really care, I just do what I do and if people have a problem with it then that's their problem, not mine.

Gf I was planning to marry left me today over an incident of my own fault and now I'm wallowing in drunken depression.
>no I'm not giving you neets details
>I will however drink to all of your replies
>drink me to death /b/

My Gf and I leave for Miami next week, 5 days, 4 nights in a 4 star hotel. Booked an 8hr deep sea fishing charter. On the third day we head down to Key West for snorkeling trip. I decided I wanted a Vacation 5 days ago

>>737261027
To those who demand proof, no proof will be given

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As an alpha male I once slept outside with a homeless guy because he was lonely, turned around and paid for his ticket to his home cause it was to states away simply on the fact he spent his last dollar, bought me food because I was sitting with my luggage at the bus stop going to my next base and I happen to say "damn im hungry". I play bass not because I can't play lead, but because I play lead on base. I once, when I was surfing got pulled out two miles out to sea and managed to swim back in a few hours. I pay the bills of my household so my woman can splurge on us both (equally of course, made that a major thing on my choice). I sharked a judo and muay tai teacher by going in as a white belt and kicking the shit out of him because he was frauding people for medicine because his main job was a doctor, stealing peoples money by making them pay for treatment they didn't get. I once smoked a .2 by lighting it between my slappada bass fingers. I drank 8 shots of silver 1800 and directed a band completely smashed. I declined a 10k music contract because I wanted to go military and not be a music fag, ended up doing both.

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I pave roads, drink beer, and run heavy machinery. I have a chair reserved for me at home, and a wife, although a pain in my ass, has a meal waiting for me when I get home from work. I don't do wash, I dont clean, and the only time I cook is on a BBQ.

>>737262143
bottoms up faggot! I'm having a beer right now too

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>>737262814
Cheers /b/ro

>>737261027

When I wss 15 I punched a horse in the face.

>>737261027
My wife's boyfriend sucks my dick sometimes.

Smoked, and slept on the couch all day while the wife was at work

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>>737262959
I donkey punched a donkeys ass

>>737262660
>slept on street with homeless guy
>paid his way home

He's not homeless you fucking gullible beta cunt

>>737262949
oh man that colt 45 gives me nostalgia-shivers. that is true 'depressed drunk' buzzing. enjoy brother.

>>737262180
your gf sounds ugly

>>737263081
Smooth

>>737263275
I carried that grey TV two miles because I didn't have a car at the time

>>737261027
Neither, sigma male reporting in ama

>>737263363
Best class though, that lone spirit shit

>>737261027
I fucked my stepmother's best friend and her daughter. Then told my stepmom, who I also fucked. I slapped her and called her a slutnfor fucking me and told my dad, who hi fived me and divorced her.

>>737263356
That's pretty alpha those things weigh I shit tonne

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>>737261027
>Engineering student at uni
>Top 5 people in major
>Go to good parties
>Have a plug for everything
>Grow/sell shrooms
>Fat, but go to gym regularly
>9/10 German gf I can fuck any way
>8/10 artsy side hoe who smokes me down and gives me head
>Get free housing from one job
>Other job as computer tech, don't do shit and get paid

Being real I'm an alpha/beta. I do cool shit but I honestly prefer being lame and playing vidya

I frequently bite into ice cream

>>737263652
This
Apart from the German and the side chick
And the growing
And the fat.

I smoke weed and go to parties.

>>737262949

Shit beer. Have a little decency.

dont have to

>I lost my virginity in high school
>I was a paratrooper in the military
>I went to Afghanistan with one of the most prestigious units in the military
>My current wife got a job while I was in Afghanistan to pay for my divorce from my previous wife
>I also fucked over 50 women in Germany
>I also threw up on a booker one time
>I still don't have any STDs which I'm sad about.
>My condom broke in a bookers asshole and I kept going

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>>737261027
Almost got eaten by bears twice when I was little. I drowned 3 times and I'm a better swimmer than most of my friends. When I got lost in the woods as a child I always found my way back without issue. I can catch wild ducks and turkeys bare handed with little issue. I can navigate by the stars. Im comfortable living in the wilderness without tools as long as I get started in the summer and in a biome that is realistic. Thing is I don't make much money but I guess I'm in college for a good career.

>>737261027
Any male who feels the need to prove themselves as alpha... is a beta.

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>>737263679

you win

I dig graves and fuck bitches son

>>737263439
Anon I like you, Fuck the damn system everyone can have fun being robots I'll choose otherwise I want out of this bullshit ass system so I can do whatever the hell I want

>>737264234
and that's why the only alphas are the ones not posting ITT

>>737264183
None of this happened

Except the fucking a dude in the ass.

>>737264234

no... one who tries to prove themselves as an alpha unsolicited is a beta. this is an exception.

When I was 8 I got attack by a dog and kicked it in the snout until it ran away. Didn't know I was injured untill my mom noticed the blood seeping through my jeans

>>737264234
Take that back
>>737263679

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>>737264570

I don't need to, I know I'm above these things.

>>737264620

says the one posting anime, enjoy the fleshlight

I'm 39 and have a 23 year old girlfriend that likes it when I smack her around.

The only time in my life that I had the opportunity of having sex I was so scared that I almost cry and couldn't get hard at all. Girl was too drunk and wanted to do it anyways, but literally just the tip could go in.

>>737261027
I put myself before others because I am positive they won't step up and take their chance until they're ready, and even if they step up to me in that moment it will be a start.

>>737261563
Boss!!

>>737262143
cheers m8, I'll crack another one open once I'm done with this one

life's a bitch but we move on. don't get hung up on it

>>737264722
That my man
Is referred to as 'pushing rope'

I write on 4chan how alpha i am

>>737264722

in your defense, sloppy drunk chicks are a turnoff

>>737264830

or the "sloppy bob" (when drinking)

>>737262143
You fucked her dad didn't you

>>737263652
Lol something is deeply wrong inside of you and no matter how many distractions you fill your life with it won't make it go away.

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>>737264836
/thread

I drive a Towncar with the muffler chopped

>>737264523
All a true story bruh

>>737264915
Thumbing one in
If you're fucked up drunk

>>737264988
OK what's a booker?

>>737265079
I meant hooker. I'm on the phone and damn autocorrect gothme

>>737265079
Guy who keeps books, duh. So, a librarian. A male librarian.

>>737265276
Ahahaha god damnit anon

rololrolrorolorlrorlrolfrorlrolrolrorllorlorool

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>>737261027
beta is an alpha who has yet to take control

omega is what most people call beta

i am the true beta

>>737264922
we know this because he still goes on /b/ kekeke

>>737261027
i literally dont give a fuck whether you think im alpha or not

>>737265965
yet you literally spent the time to defend yourself