Ask a 34 year old kissless virgin anything.

What is the problem? Fat, ugly, or shit personality?

I'm 36, nothing to write home about looks-wise, but I've had maybe 25 partners since age 15. Being able to talk well helps.

How is that even fucking possible

>>737118404
You're not a virgin OP, you're a fag.

>>737118564
>What is the problem? Fat, ugly, or shit personality?

I wouldn't say shit personality. I would say no personality.

>Being able to talk well helps.

My greatest deficit. Talking to me feels like talking to Cleverbot.

>>737118659

Implying those things are exclusive.

>>737118731
This is a learn-able skill though.
And I don't know if you have too high of standards or something, but being willing to fuck fatties helps as well. Fat girls often, but not always, fuck better than hotter girls, at least in my experience. It's a trade off but whatever.

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>>737118404
How are you still alive OP?
I thought with the birth of the internet and cheap hookers the rare specimen of "wizard" was extinct....

What do your wizard powers include?

Can I borough some?

Do you have a beard like Gandalf's?

>>737118995
>This is a learn-able skill though.
>And I don't know if you have too high of standards or something, but being willing to fuck fatties helps as well. Fat girls often, but not always, fuck better than hotter girls, at least in my experience. It's a trade off but whatever.

What do you define as fat? Chubby or morbidly obese?

>>737119104
>I thought with the birth of the internet and cheap hookers the rare specimen of "wizard" was extinct....

How does the internet contributed to the decrease of wizards? Isn't it the other way around?

>>737119128
Well it can be pretty subjective I guess, the difference between chubby and obese. When not looking at the BMI I just always assumed the line past calling someone fat rather than chubby defines where your fuckable/not fuckable line is.
My current fuck buddy, who I wasn't really super attracted to at first until she jumped me and gave me the best blowjob of my life, probably has about 20 pounds on me (I'm 190), but she wears it well. No big rolls or whatever (though I have fucked girls with such rolls).

I'm my humble opinion, you're gonna regret being an old virgin more than you would fucking a "fat" girl, wherever your taste, or line lies.

>>737119627

I would definitely fuck fat girls. Where do I find them? Trip to America?

I'm in the same boat as you. Haven't lost vorginity, and haven't had a girlfriend. Life is kind of lonely, but what is better, having money, or having a girlfriend?

>>737119759
Haha, yes we definitely have an overabundance of fat girls here in the states. Where you from?

>>737119925

I have neither.

>>737119993

Germany. Lived all around Europe. While there are many obese older people (and probably many obese younger women as well), its quite hard to find them in clubs/bars etc.

>>737118404
Have you ever considered like taking a shower, wearing some clean clothes (nothing with super heroes or star wars crap), getting a job, and then going out and getting laid? I'm a drug addict loser, and will be doing a three-some with two chicks this weekend. If I can do it, anyone can. All it takes is enough money to buy the meth, rent a room with a hot tub, and wheels to drive you all there.

>>737120636
>Have you ever considered like taking a shower, wearing some clean clothes (nothing with super heroes or star wars crap), getting a job, and then going out and getting laid?

Did all that. And I haven't even seen a Star Wars film.

>>737120790
>I haven't even seen a Star Wars film.

You really should check out the original trilogy. It's pretty bad ass.

>>737118404
Which third world shithole are you from?

>>737118404
How do you feel being one of us?

>>737118404
you that guy from germany again?

>>737120993

I'm really not into fantasy or superhero stuff. I watched LoTR and it was boring and childish as hell.

>>737121049

Germany.

>>737121064

Not a good thing.

>>737121144

Yup

>>737121377
>>>
I remember you had a big dick and a muscular body, post the pic of your body so we can remind ourselves

>>737118995
>>737119104
>>737119557
>>737120790

Being able to talk to people is learnable.

Not OP, but if you don't have anything to talk about that other people can relate to then you're not going to hold a conversation.

>>737121377
Well getting high as fuck with two meth addict sluts is pretty childish too. I mean responsible adults don't do shit like thst. Doesn't mean it isn't fun as hell though.

>>737118404
im a 22 KV, hoping to change that when I go back to Uni this year
how much of a loser am I?

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>>737121476

Wouldn't call it muscular.

>>737118404
Are you missing a leg? Only one eye? Horribly disfigured? 800 lbs? Poor Fag? Terminally ill?

>>737121516
Most people just want to talk about themselves. All you need to do is nod your head, and give them some encouragement here and there. It's not at all difficult. What, did you think that normal people actually have anything interesting to say 99% of the time? Fuck no, they just talk for the sake of talking. You don't need to understand it, to use it to your advantage.

>>737122080

Poor fag.

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>>737118404
>>737118731
>>737121516
>>737121964

For OP I can give you tips on how to get a girl.

You're going to have to target the eccentric or emo crowd. Girls who are also somewhat neglected like yourself. You're gonna have to Find (locally) where they hang out, whether its online places or any local stuff.

Try the pagan/wiccan/new agers too. These women are much more straightforward about everything, though you still have to be cautious with how obvious you're being.


Also since everyone (but me) has smartphones these days you need to check out the Tinder app. And swipe right on every girl no matter whether its someone you'd think would connect with you or not.

> conversations

The general theory for getting girls to keep talking until they're seduced is like expanding folders/tabs on a computer.

Anything they talk about, listen intently and keep your eyes on hers. Expand on any of those topics and if they don't go anywhere, keep expanding on other topics that she covered.

Rather than "I want to get to know you" this is more about
> I want to spend as much time with you as I can.


Physical contact is important, when you can tell that she's getting interested you need to find some way to touch her, usually like a playful pat or temporary arm over her shoulder.

After the physical barrier is crossed, you can hold her hand after awhile, and progress from there in any way that she seems to be ready for.

> eventually you wont be able to pound her between the legs hard enough, trust me

>>737122179
Not OP, but im pretty rusty on this even though I just gave him the general theory.

I have short term memory problems (add) and it means even if im listening intently to what a girl is saying, I actually forget some of the stuff she mentioned... so its hard for me to come up with extra topics to expand on.

and yes I DID actually think people have interesting things to say 99% of the time (well, they might think its interesting)

>>737122329
>You're going to have to target the eccentric or emo crowd. Girls who are also somewhat neglected like yourself. You're gonna have to Find (locally) where they hang out, whether its online places or any local stuff.

Do emos even still exist? I hang around a lot in hipster circles because they at least have some good beer in their bars and I like to listen to Indie shit and Bob Dylan bootlegs now and then. Also, they are invading my fucking climbing gym atm.


>Try the pagan/wiccan/new agers too. These women are much more straightforward about everything, though you still have to be cautious with how obvious you're being.

Those first two are more American things. The new agers here are all like fifty.

>Also since everyone (but me) has smartphones these days you need to check out the Tinder app. And swipe right on every girl no matter whether its someone you'd think would connect with you or not.

Been there, done that.

>> conversations
>The general theory for getting girls to keep talking until they're seduced is like expanding folders/tabs on a computer.
>Anything they talk about, listen intently and keep your eyes on hers. Expand on any of those topics and if they don't go anywhere, keep expanding on other topics that she covered.
>Rather than "I want to get to know you" this is more about
>> I want to spend as much time with you as I can.
>Physical contact is important, when you can tell that she's getting interested you need to find some way to touch her, usually like a playful pat or temporary arm over her shoulder.
>After the physical barrier is crossed, you can hold her hand after awhile, and progress from there in any way that she seems to be ready for.
>> eventually you wont be able to pound her between the legs hard enough, trust me

Will keep that in mind.

>>737122467
>well, they might think its interesting)

They do, and it isn't.

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>>737122657

> implying getting an older women to fuck you until your eyes pop out of their sockets is a bad thing

> I tend to see older women as more refined and confident than younger women, who dont know what the fuck they want and put up all kinds of resistance - a girl doesnt deserve dick if she's gonna act like that.

do more than keep it in mind about conversation stuff, you're going to need to study that to be able to remind yourself it needs to be done

When I was a teenager I was deathly afraid to touch girls because I figured it'd immediately result in a "sexual harassment" cry (even if you touched them on the arm). That fear continued pretty much until I had my 2nd girlfriend.

Girls are sensitive so physical touch goes a long way. If she's primed for it then its going to make all of this Very Real for her suddenly.

Fact is if you're holding her hand she's expecting to get kissed at some point, though she wants to savor letting it build up.

If you kiss her, then hold her abit and kiss her again... kiss kiss kiss... she's getting ready to get fucked unless she's 100% opposed to receiving it.

So if you Make Out with her by the end of the date and ask to come over to her place, she knows whats probably gonna happen.

> New Agers

Anyone into that sorta thing you're also going to have to be Honest and truthful about. They'll see you as an opportunity to help redpill and expand your mind, so if you tell them you just dont know what to think thats better than feigning interest. They tend to be a better read of people as well, they'll pick up on nonverbal

Reason I suggested these groups of women is they're more intune with themselves, and if they dont want sex they'll let you know pretty quick (and if they are open to it, theyll just let things progress).

In the case of goth/emo are honestly looking for something to make them feel alive, so getting romanced and fucked is like a drug option.

>>737118404
OK, but what exaclty prevents you from doing it? I have scars on my body as a result of a accident I had once and because of that I'm shy and don't realyl want to take off my clothers in front of a woman. So I guess I'll die alone. I'm 32.

>>737123439
>OK, but what exaclty prevents you from doing it?

Women's lack of attraction.

>>737123439
I have a surgical scar on my dick from having a mole removed. I was self-conscious about it for a long time, but it's never been brought up, so I don't either.

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What spells can you cast?

>>737124185

Stay away with that fantasy bullshit.

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>>737122329
im actually not that much of a fuck up Ive asked girls out before and had other girls hit on me, ive just never been able or willing to pull the trigger on it. Im getting close to wizard territory, I just want to know how far ive got left

>>737118404
Hey bro, 30 kv here, following your lead I guess.
I doubt anything will change soon...

bump fuckers

>>737126395
thefuckyoubumpfor?

>>737118404
Please post a pic of your invitation to Hogwarts

>>737127249

For more shitposting.

any more late virgins? Is this really /b/?
I am disappoint.

>>737118404
Rape became my only solution. I know it's wrong, but ultimately it's my life that's being lived. Instead of focusing on what the girl wants, focus on what you want. It's not wrong if it's benefitting at least one person. If you're not satisfied then don't go on with it. Keep it cool

>>737118404

Hello /b/rother, 33 here

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>>737118404
buck up

>>737128698
how old?

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Well, you said poor fag: not a problem
fat: if you got right attitude you can still attract girls
ugly: as above
conversation: ....

Well 27 here. I've give up, i mean not about girls since there is never been even a slighty chance for me, but my whole existance (i can't even say life).

How do I get a girl to fuck me, OP?

>>737118404
How old are you?
Have you ever kissed a girl?
Did you have sex?

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>>737130884
Read the fucking thread jimmy

>inb4 olly bredendin XD