ITT: We discuss the most depraved ways we pleasure ourselves.

I jerk off for cam girls, go to rub and tugs and pay for whores. Been fucked in the ass by a tranny and fucked a tranny's ass. Solo-time I've dildo'd my ass and sucked my own dick. Kinda feel like a normie...

>>737035888
Gay thread

>>737035888
I used to be into Sissy hypno. At it´s peak I stuffed a carrot up my ass. Hurt like fuck, I realised I was not into it. I still think about it sometimes though and do recommend a pen up back for no pain but a bit more pleasant masturbation sesion.

>>737036124
I used to be able to suck my own dick when I was a teenager, I remember getting back from school running my paper route as quick as possible just to get home and shoot cum in my own mouth
>>737036241
I'd consider myself Bi, Love fucking a pussy/love sucking a cock/getting my ass bust open

>>737036342
>love sucking a cock/getting my ass bust open
It don't get gayer than that

>>737036336
OP here, try some water based lube and just take it slow. Or get some poppers, they will not only loosen your hole but drive your libido nuts for about a minute it's crazy

>>737036429
I do sleep with women on a regular basis though, I have no bones that I love some man on man action as well though.

>>737036514
But these days, people use the word "gay" on people who are probably completely straight. So, I'm pretty sure you would qualify as gay by today's standards.

I pay fully clothed women to strip me, spank me, and watch me jerk.

That's pretty manila, really, considering what's out there.

>Poppers
>Lube
>Huge dildo
>Ton of weed

Absolute bliss of an evening. The weed intensifies everything, including the poppers come up that enhances the pleasure of fucking yourself with a dildo by many times over. The poppers also gives me a massive short term libido boost, which means all I want to do is blast the dildo into my asshole harder and faster, this becomes so intense that I have a kind of anal orgasm. Way more intense and internal than cumming out your dick. So strong that is makes my entire body tense up and spasm hard, followed by a lovely sense of wellbeing and relaxation, after essentially cumming intensely hard.
It can also be done again and again after some conditioning of your asshole. So you can literally cum and cum and cum until your body cannot take it anymore.
Cannot recommend the above combination enough. Add some porn/other fetishes at will.

I suck off random men at the gay sauna every Sunday. I just love sucking off old/hairy men. I love feeling like a good little boy serving his daddy
>I'm a 220lb Rugby Player

>>737036746
Can't knock the reasoning tbh
I'm at peace with it, it's all my secret anyway so it doesn't effect all my straight white male privilege nameen

>>737037122
I've been trying for anal orgasm but havent succeeded yet. Any tips? what kind of toy do you use? I feel like the one I have isnt stiff enough to massage my prostate properly

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- I stick things up my bum

Yeah that ones mellow I know

- I fucked a couch several times

- I think it's thrilling to have sex while someone is sleeping next to me/us

- I fantasize of getting my ass pounded

- When I'm really stoned I get loud while fapping

And I've got some gay stories

Still touched more pussy than dick tho

Booze/weed/lsd/mushrooms/kratom all make jerking it better.

Couple any with prostate stimulations and you are fucking lit.

>>737037542
>>737035888
I use the one in the the post, I'm OP
It's huge, I love the feeling of a big object slipping inside me, plus the veins are shaft are textured so beautifully, I think it just makes me cum because of sheer brute force, I really ram it in there fast and hard.
Also do yourself a favour and sniff some poppers during your session, it makes everything much MUCH more intense. It feels so fucking good dude.

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I often will have sex in the missionary position for purposes other than solely procreation.

In fact, on one of the occasions when I did have sex for the sole purpose of procreation, I did not attend to the missionary position.

Tell me I'm a sick fuck /b/.

Wtf are poppers and why does gaynon keep posting about them

jerked myself off while sucking my dogs balls

>>737036459
Poppers?

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candy flipping (lsd + mdma)
+ weed
+ XL bad dragon dildos.

amazing every now and so often (once-twice a year)

>>737037542
Tighten kegels, short fast strokes for a good while, repeat until success, just like normal jerking it can take up to and well over 20 minutes, drugs help too.

>>737038188
A small bottle of solvents used to loosen the large intestine and turn into a poop factory to rocket blast to the fucking moon leaving you a sticky mess on your bed is what it is.
You dont even need to do butt stuff it. Just buy a bottle and sniff it while you jerk to porn and tell me that wasn't the most amazing fap youve ever fucking had.

>>737038234
Google it, they're inhalents you can by at sex stores. alkyl nitrates.

>>737038272
Can you please describe how LSD and MDMA effects you getting off, how and what does it intensify etc in as much detail as you can be bothered with, always really wanted to do it.

So basically the main theme of this post is people sticking shit up their ass?

Fair enough.

>>737038678
No I wash the shit out with water, then stick obscenely large dildos up my ass yes.
You should totally try it, it's better than cumming out of your dick.

Also confirm that vigorous anal play on drugs is really really really really good

>>737038678
Don't knock it till you do it properly, you can experience orgasmic pleasure again and again with no refractory period, akin to what a woman feels

>>737039034
this

>>737035888
I jack myself off while watching videos that are pornographic in nature.

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>>737035888
Dog orgies, 4 female dogs, weed, shrooms, acid, techno

>>737035888
I like to get drunk and dress up in womens underwear, cum on my face and lt it dry and finger my ass until I can cum again

>>737037122
mix stuff with the lube desu
I usually puff some sativa and also mix in some with coconut butter. it's bliss

>>737035888
Lol who gives a fuck about anal play

>>737035888

Me and my GF had some intense orgasms after scat fucking.

>>737038529
well ok, semi short version as I'm already on my way to bed.

Mdma lsimply enhances your tactile senses.
evrey touch feels like magic.
your anus turns into a pussy or even better.
it also makes me want to touch myself and fuck my ass really hard for hours.
that combines with the feeling of happiness and total relaxation (making it even more easy to work your ass like a pro) you crave nothing but hard assfucking from mdma (and I don't even like men. just anal stimulation and dragon dicks)
Lsd makes you feel that sensation all over your body. you simply melt aroung your dildo and experience pleasure in waves of colour and bliss.
Best enjoyed with a ton of weed, cadles, insence and of course plenty of beverages like juice and maybe some nuts and fruit for regaining all those calories.

Of course a ton of lube everyewhere is also quite important. usually I use a whole bottle of j-lube, so thats 6-10 litres of lube and two jars of coconut oil.

having music you enjoy also enhances it alot.

>>737039034
Like I said fair enough mate but the idea of something going up me just isn't appealing to me.

>>737035888

I jerk off on omegle. Sometimes I'm submissive to guys. Black guys are a guilty pleasure. I enjoy using a dildo and watching them cum at the thought of fucking me.
I also enjoy jerking with younger girls, the ones that are too young to be slutty - so I teach them how.

Anal is pretty sweet, love slightly kinky older women tbh

Can anyone explain to me what feels good about anal dildos? Stuck a finger up there but didnt really feel good

>>737039941
Different strokes for different folks, nothing wrong with that. If you ever feel differently you know what to do.

>>737038380
Sounds less than appetizing. Why not weed and acid or shrooms?

>>737038469
Are they only for gays or for straight people too?

>>737039826
wow sounds fucking amazing. Have to score some Mandy and some Acid now

>>737040427
Fingers aren't that stimulating, especially if you don't really know what you're doing or where to hit. If you use a dildo and flex your cock muscles (kegels) you'll feel like a giantnalmond kinda shaped thing recieve a bit of pressure or so, just keep your muscles tight and work over it and in under 2 minutes it turns into strong pleasure if you're doing it right.

Even after I stop I cam still feel it throbbing so good in my ass up to 15 minutes or so after I'm done and it just makes me want another pounding.

>>737040848
MDMA may be legal in 5 years. Google it.

>>737040427
It's hard to describe, it's just a really nice warm internal pleasure that radiates out through your body. You just need to take it slow, use lubricant and relax. Take some slow deep breaths because that relaxes smooth muscle in your ass and gets you well on the way :)

>>737040483
They're inhalable aphrodisiacs that anyone can use to literally enhance the fuck out of you. Drugs are for everyone regardless of sexual identity.

>>737041046
I'm a britfag

>>737041121
Yeah but if it makes you shit your bed then Im not into it.

>>737041183
Allahu Akbar

>>737041252
I live in a part of Britain that isn't infested with Sand Niggers thankfully

>>737040894

>>737041060

Thanks for the replies. Kinda curious. Does it do anything to your orgasms? Because I have kinda weak orgasms. Is it any point in getting a vibrating one?

>>737041252
Won't make you shit yourself, but can cause some problems if you lack self control Not advocating for or against, just educating.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poppers#Health_problems

Put peanut butter on balls and as whole and let dog go to town

Srs

>>737041389
Yes, you'll get to learn more about how you're dick is stimulated because you're going in through the back way too, it's all connected, I've also noticed I can squeeze harder with my Kegel muscle now after my ass gripping onto the dildo so many times, its kind of trained it. I can go from totally soft to totally hard at will handsfree

>>737038149
You're a sick fuck, jOE

>>737041551
See:
>>737039272

>>737041389
The motion and pressure of a dildo for me is infinitely more effective than vibrations for some reason. Kind of feels good with vibrations but really compared to ramming yourself it surprises me but you get better results with just plain precise speedy short motions.

>>737041643
cool, guess understanding my dick better could be good. What about vibrating butt toys?

>>737041969
see
>>737041875

Feels like a waste of money, but hey feel free to experiment and see what works.

>>737041969
Dont waste your time, the vibrating will on desensitize you, you can't beat good old fashioned friction and a hard fast strokes. As hard you're comfortable with ofc, also I suggest getting a hard textured and soft textured dildo. Doing one after the other is such a lovely feeling

>>737041875
>>737042090
>>737042172
Thanks all of you. Gon look into maybe getting one

>>737035888
Friend of mine from work used to send me the nudes he was blackmailing two 12 year old girls for. He got caught and it was this huge thing in the local news (no I won't post it). I still jack off to those nudes basically every day, printed out physical copies and destroyed my phone.

>>737042306
Also for ease of preperation order an enema bulb, effective, safe, and proper way to prep.

>>737042381
Hahahaha my nigga!!!!!

>>737042306
Also dont be afraid to let go when you're cumming hard. You'll sometimes squirt out your dick, then you'll know you've reached nirvana. Now go, go my anal paduan and brave depths you betwix't your cheeks. Enjoy.
>P.S sniff poppers, another level!

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>>737042381
>create hard evidence from digital evidence
>destroy digital evidence
>somewhere out there a copy machine or printer has proof of your transaction

I occasionally touch my own dick and sometimes reach orgasm that way.

>>737042464
nice thanks
>>737042740
Haha will do!
>gon pass on the poppers though

I suck off random old men at the social club by my house.
I love swallowing cum in the public toilet of the club, love getting throat used by a chubby daddy bear

>>737043059
>another level, dewd, ANOTHER LEVEL DEWD

Between the time this thread was posted and now I have went to my local sex store (literally a 3 minute walk down the street) and got some poppers

Got weird looks

Went home, ate handful, sniffed the fuck out of container. Felt sick, started pooping and moaning uncontrollably as my dick was oozing and sore like i had chlamydia or something. I'm honestly disappointed I got trolled this hard today

Finally calmed down after 38 minutes of hell with no real orgasm or desire to watch porn.

Fuck you fags

>>737042946
>*tips fedora*

Your tip has been submitted

>>737043265
Now do it once more...with FEELING

>>737038272
What dildo feels the best?