well, /b/? I'd build a mansion on mars, fuck this planet.

>>737011905
enslave iceland and force the most beatiful icelandic men or women to blow me for eternity

>>737011905
destroy /b/

I'd start by existing. That'll show people!

kill myself

>>737012113
/thread

make myself god forever

watch spiderman home coming

Kill weebs or cure their mental illness

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>>737011905
undo existence and start over from scratch

Kill all mosquitoes, blacks, and jews

Dr. Manhattan an is that you?

>>737011905
push saturn into jupiter , they should burn as a red dwarf

>>737012595
RED SUN

>>737011905
Make lolis not only real, but accessible for anyone who wants one

>>737011905
Genocide. Wipe out all of Africa, Asia, and Latin America.

I would just flip the switch on their central nervous systems, or something equally painless, and then internally combust the bodies.

>>737011905
Make everything real. Especially the silly bits.

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>>737012926
>being this much of a pussy

>>737013308
What can I say, I'm a benevolent God.

>>737013403
More like an un-omnipotent un-omniscient dumb faggot God who can't un-exist people by thinking about it. If you're going to do genocide, actually do genocide. Not mass euthanasia. Dumb faggot.

>>737011905
ask the middle east what the fuck they think they're doing

>>737013614
Okay, now you're on the kill list. I think I'll kill you with.... hmmm. Replacing your liver with a wasp nest and letting them chew their way out of your abdomen.

>>737013893
Neat

>>737013893
>>737014030
What an unimaginative faggot. What, no fixing it so everything I eat tastes like shit?

>>737014134
Nah man, just painful death.

I'm here to build a utopia, and you're shitting it up by existing.

As my next act as god, after removing the third worlders and killing this faggot, let's work on the woman problem.

Should I make women into completely obedient sex pets, or just revert them to traditional femininity?

>>737014484
I'd build a better world than you ever could. You lack the imagination to adequately solve things in the most efficient, or even effective, manner, especially with all that power. You couldn't even solve a simple problem of purgatory. And now you need input from mortals.

What a pleb.

>>737011905
Bye bye usa! Bye bye north korea! Bye bye syria!
Finally, we are at peace...for the moment

>>737012522
If mosquitoes went extinct: Mosquito larvae are very important in aquatic ecology. Many other insects and small fish feed on them and the loss of that food source would cause their numbers to decline as well. Anything that feeds on them, such as game fish, raptorial birds, etc. would in turn suffer too.

>>737014716
>Leaving Israel intact
>Leaving the rest of the Middle East intact
>Not glassing Africa.

Shit tier god with no ambition.

I would gas the normal fags

>give mars an atmosphere
>show myself to people somehow
>post patch notes
>add more hydrogen in the sun, just because i like you guys

>>737014870
Oh, I do have a lot of ambitions my little one. I will make you as my first sacrifice.

>>737014648
Except I am a mortal. I'm only God for a day, faggot. So yeah, I'm canvassing opinion.

Also, nobody was talking about purgatory, but if we were I would say it's a stupid idea. Either you did some good in your life and go to heaven, or you're an evil person and you go to hell. Pretty simple.

Since you're so full of good ideas though, what's your big plan, oh god of cocksuckers?

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>>737011905
Exterminate everyone with a lower iq than 98.
Ship niggers back to Africa.
Migrant back to original countries.
Ban all religion and ensure that this shit will never go down again in the future.
Kill myself and reincarnate in the child i used to be 20 years ago, same parents same everything .

>>737014971
Can you larp in a less cringe way please? I'm enjoying this thread but your faggot is kinda ruining it.

Everyone has to read something intelligent, everyday.

>>737011905
My 1st act is that i stay God endlessly

>>737011905

Turn each and every male on this planet into a Female qt except for me.

>Humanity_is_doomed.exe

>>737014648
Why would a god worthy of his godhead care about efficiency? Omnipotence is all about ignoring the fuck out of evergy conservation, entropy and all the other duct tape stuff binding existance left unsupervised by lazy angels together.

>>737015421
7 billion women.

One man.

Still can't get laid.

remove STDs.

Skip to tomorrow.

I'd make the day repeat till I'm truly done, if I am to be a god, I will god right, no limitations, no exceptions. Once I've learned all there is to learn of this world, of this existence, and all of its denizens, I'll let the day end once and for all, and with this knowledge live like a king and bring fourth a new kind of prosperity to human civilization, one that will benefit both me and humans as a whole greatly. I would do far more than any "God" has done for humans so far.

remove kebab

>>737015041
>nobody was talking about purgatory
I said you couldn't even solve a simple problem of purgatory. This proves it. You're so simple, you couldn't even become omniscient in less than one second after being God for an entire 24 hours. Who doesn't make themselves God forever when they have 24 hours to do literally anything? A simpleton, that's who.

>>737015041
Well, since I'm your God, cocksucker, the first order of business is to retcon all of human history and start over again.

>>737015526
>Why would a god worthy of his godhead care about efficiency
Why wouldn't a god worthy of his godhead care about efficiency? Why create the laws of physics if you do not care about whether anything abides by them in the long run?

Snapping your fingers would be easy. Making the clockwork work in your favor without swinging a magic cudgel like a barbarian would be pleasurable. It would demonstrate the ability to do godly things without having to be that godly in the first place; a power beyond power.

>>737011905

First act, ensure no one could be God after me to undo my changes. After that, one hell of a busy day.

>>737011905
bring moot back from the dead

>>737015770
... and then?

You're all about "efficiency", and yet you can't stop jerk in off to your own perceived superiority long enough to actually participate in this stupid thread on a Cambodian scrimshaw message board.

1.- Dissapear all pants that currently exists, so people will be in underwear
2.- Convert all girls into traps
Make everyone have a bonnner for the rest of the day

>>737015770
What you're proposing is a godly self affirmation. Which is stupid.

>>737011905
I'd make everyone shit themselves at once, except of all of India, who is never allowed to shit again

>>737011905
destroy summerfags

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>>737011905
Honestly?
Set in motion
>Bring the entire earth together as one nation over a 20 year span which focuses on science, space exploration and universal empathy and sustainability for all people.
>Over these 20 years inspire people to develop long term space exploration / travel along with the technology to colonize a multitude of different planet types.
>Live long enough after being god for a day to watch the world unify, explore the stars, then collapse into utter chaos after colonized worlds not longer want to be ruled over by earth and intergalactic war breaks out.

>>737016604
nooooooo

>>737014815
But don't black lives Matter

>>737012896
Thanks

I will make take away free will...

>>737015994
Okay, faggot, let me prattle off about what I would do, because you're too thick to understand why I'd do it.

Your first act of business was to cull human beings in the most pussy way possible. You know what makes more sense? Starting over from scratch and not having to waste over 20 thousand years of inefficient, unguided development so that you have to try to find solace in the humans you put on pedestals, and loathe the dregs that taunt you daily. So, start the fuck over. Re-create the "first city". Make yourself known to the first humans. Hell, create new humans altogether. Fine tune the way their minds work. Create environments, events, and scenarios that play to the behaviors you've tailored in them, so as to actually make use of a universe that was presumably created to be witnessed by some sort of God, if at all.

I'd personally start over. The way human brains work are fine, the way DNA replicates itself is fine. The way carbon bonds is fine. The dichotomy of good and evil is not fine and absolutely stupid. I'd make it so that I could actively choose who "ascends" and who doesn't, as opposed to leaving it to a bunch of agents that aren't me at all. I'd have the criterion conform to demonstrable qualities, such as sycophancy, adequate problem-solving skills, a balance between reflexivity, and self-preservation. Only the finest agents to arise from the shit soup I decided to create. Everything else can exist for a finite period of time and then cease to exist.

I am not a benevolent God. I am a clever god. Too many cooks will spoil the broth. Hell would be more far-reaching, if I even decided I wanted to create a hell. Since I am a god, it stands to reason that I can just torture an agent for an indiscriminate period of time until they fit the mold of something I desire or see reason to keep. And there's more.

>>737016162
Explain to me how I am proposing a godly self-affirmation.

>>737011905
fuck all bitches

Kill you retards for thinking this place is still /b/ and not just a cess pool of over simplifying traditional idiots who think fascism works

In short. Kill all you posers.

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>>737011905
I would make OP not be a faggot. But I don't see me being God anytime soon so you'll just have to keep guzzling semen by the gallon.

I would make gundamu a real thing.
>Inb4 go back to /m/

>>737011905
Undo the mistake that's called free will.

>>737011905
I'd bring the most advanced civilization in existence to orbit around our star. Also, I'd move andromeda to our relative position where it will be in in about 4 billion years. On top of us.

Then, I'd terraform Mars and Venus into planets habitable by us and just stand back and watch as humans and the superior aliens work together or destroy one another.

Oh yeah and I'd stop the time during that day for roughly an eternity.

>>737011905
destroy heaven and earth, let all of creations return to the ashes

>>737011905
stop time and do nothing

>>737017627
>tips fedora

Make all women remember their sole reason for existing is to be companions for men, and everyone who still feels like they should be their equals will be punished severely.

Give all animals same IQ as non-average humans, aside dolphins for example because they are already more intelligent than us with ability to speak human language.

>>737011905
tell the muzzies to mass suicide

make anime real

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>>737011905
>Redefine "day" so as to prolong my tenure indefinitely.
Then honestly some petty revenge bullshit until bad feels eventually overshadow my satisfaction.

>>737011905
Have a cup of coffee and a big shit same as every other day

Would eradicate asian porn from existence. It's the most retarded thing ever. Dudes aren't kissing girls, they are fucking SLURPING like they were eating soup, and the chicks are squeaking and squealing like pigs instead of moaning like a normal human being.

That, and making genital sizes uniform across both genders so this BBC bullshit dies too.

>>737011905
I'd wipe out the Middle East and declare Muslims as expendable entities that need exterminating.
That would be my FIRST act.

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>>737011905
Armageddon.

>>737019547
>eradicate one of three religions that worship me just using different holy scriptures
>being this retarded

>>737011905
I'd make it impossible to chew food with your mouth open.

>>737011905
Make everyone the gender they wanted to be. Unless they were a dick, in which case I'd make them the gender they didn't want to be for the next week to see what it's like.

>>737019532
>My penis is so small that I must envy Asians with their superior penis size. And don't get me started on black cock.

>>737011905
make any/all fictional characters/animals real. have fun dealing with that shit faggots.

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>>737015126
>exterminate everyone with a lower iq than 98
>new average intelligence shifts because 100 iq is always average
>have to exterminate more people that now fall below the average
>average resets again
>repeat until there are only people with identical intelligence
>only one person left now
>that person will be smarter than me once I'm not God anymore
>mfw

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>>737011905
kill off all traces of negroid genetics

>>737011905
Find my soulmate and start a planet and have 100 kids

Explore the whole universe for 100 infinities

>>737020275
>I'm such a fucking pedophile, that the only porn I can tolerate is asian gangbang, because it sounds exactly like a high traffic maternity ward.

>I also fantasize about Jamal breaking my asshole.

Exterminate all fags, crossdressers, traps, chick with dicks, transes, feminine penises, queers, sissies, fags, muh boipussies and all the other useless transgendered people, whatever you preferr to call them.

>>737014815
make the sting of the mosquitoes painless and have them give you immune resistance instead of malaria

>>737020412
that is like changing the length of a measuring tape.

>>737015126
>Exterminate everyone with a lower iq than 98.
>Ship niggers back to Africa.
Pick one

>>737020412
Makes me wonder how long I'd stay alive with my 113.

>>737020610
length is always constant in a constant reference frame, IQ number is always based on current average. 100 IQ now isn't the same as 100 IQ 50 years ago

>>737020825
>implying the niggers are shipped back alive

I'd create my own universe and escape this reality.
Since i'm in full control of my reality, the god of this universe won't be able yo strip me from my powers, which, in turn will maintain my godly powers forever.
Then, i'd make all life in the universe as young women, loyal to me. And in order to reproduce, their clitoris could become a penis whenever they want.
Loli species would also be added with the same traits.
I'd then go into a deep slumber and be born as the legendary male, with no memories of being God, in order to gain life experience.
After dying, i'd return to my godly form, picking another life to experience.
So, i'd just keep repeating this cycle for all eternity.

And if you faggots worship me in order to make me more powerful, i'd give you a life in my universe as legendary males and the ability to reincarnate.

>>737021046
the sexual thirst is strong

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>>737020873
>IQ number is always based on current average.
yeah no its not. thats not good science there. they did that in 2004 by introducing a new standard but its fucking bullshit.

>>737011905
causing Armageddon while singing:

Dies irae dies illa, Solvet saeclum in favilla: Teste David cum Sibylla.

Quantus tremor est futurus, Quando iudex est venturus, Cuncta stricte discussurus!

Tuba mirum spargens sonum Per sepulcra regionum Coget omnes ante thronum.

Mors stupebit et natura, Cum resurget creatura, Iudicanti responsura.

Liber scriptus proferetur, In quo totum continetur, Unde mundus iudicetur.

Iudex ergo cum sedebit, Quidquid latet apparebit: Nil inultum remanebit.

Quid sum miser tunc dicturus? Quem patronum rogaturus, Cum vix iustus sit securus?

Rex tremendae maiestatis, Qui salvandos salvas gratis: Salva me, fons pietatis.

Recordare Iesu pie, Quod sum causa tuae viae: Ne me perdas illa die.

Quaerens me, sedisti lassus: Redemisti crucem passus: Tantus labor non sit cassus.

Iuste iudex ultionis, Donum fac remissionis, Ante diem rationis.

Ingemisco, tamquam reus: Culpa rubet vultus meus: Supplicanti parce Deus.

Qui Mariam absolvisti, Et latronem exaudisti, Mihi quoque spem dedisti.

Preces meae non sunt dignae: Sed tu bonus fac benigne, Ne perenni cremer igne.

Inter oves locum praesta, Et ab haedis me sequestra, Statuens in parte dextra.

Confutatis maledictis, Flammis acribus addictis, Voca me cum benedictis.

Oro supplex et acclinis, Cor contritum quasi cinis: Gere curam mei finis.

Lacrimosa dies illa, Qua resurget ex favilla Iudicandus homo reus:

Huic ergo parce Deus. Pie Iesu Domine, dona eis requiem. Amen.

>>737021583
you couldnt find a youtube vid of that ?

>>737021583
What sucky latin you "use"

>>737021375
>the sexual thirst is strong
>/b/

>>737020515
I'm throwing around insinuations of pedophilia and homosexuality because I like small boys but wish to deflect suspicion.

>>737011905
Because I'm god I can remove that rule now

Start World war 3
Africans and South Americans survive
skip 1000's years later when radiation settles
Survivors finally advance to early 2000's technology
Latinos take the Americas
Africans take the old world
Africanized old world becomes 1984-like dictatorship
Americas become advanced like nowadays

Start world war 4 between the two
and repeat in different ways

>>737011905
All muslims would get their 72 bearded virgins... and the world would be a better place...

>>737021875
>Survivors finally advance to early 2000's technology
not gone happen

Certain genes for large brains, linked to high IQ, are common everywhere except Africa.
http://www.amren.com/news/2006/06/scientists_stud/

>>737021525
>implying IQ scores were ever "science"

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>>737022018
its not virgins, it is sex less servants. they get to take the virgin 11 year olds in this life

>>737022153
yeah they are,

top kek.

you low iq negroid

>>737021811
>why are you just repeating the same thing

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>>737011905
defeat the globalist space aliens that turn the frogs gay

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>>737022175

>>737022083
Well, just the South Americans then ofc
I guess I did say the African side becomes a 1984 like dictatorship

>>737022228
>calls other people low iq negroid
>acts like one
you're taking the whole "pot calling the kettle black" idiom to a new level

Recreate Mars as a habitable planet to encourage humanity to reach out to the stars and populate the universe as is their destiny.

>>737022175
Well... doesnt matter... id still give them 72 bearded mullah virgins.

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>>737011905
Kill off all religious people then destroy all of their places of worship

> oh my science

>>737011905
create alternate dimension i can enter anytime where i am god

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>>737020511
>100 infinities

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>>737022383
Most south americans are mixed with the 12 million negroids brought there by the jew. they are asians and Argentinians used to be white. thats why it is in a shit state there

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>>737022839
fucking jews man, and now they are doing it to europe.
christianity is introduced in to china and catching on fast. south america went that way to that is how it starts.

>>737022647
Why not just force them to think critically?

Then if you absolutely have to kill all the people who keep denying.

>>737011905
i kill all pedophiles

>>737012522
make mosquitoes sting deadly only to niggers

>>737011905
Go back to sleep. I created an incomprehensibly large universe, too many planets are inhabited by my creations to even care about.

Put an end to ALL religions. Forever.

>>737022230
Hello newfag. I'm feeling generous so I'll explain this to you. greentexting is used for quoting. The
>/b/
was added because it's obvious that is how /b/ is and has been for a while. You are using greentexting incorrectly. It is also used for short versions of stories with plenty of line breaks for readability.

Welcome to 4chan, faggot.

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>make all inanimate objects anthropomorphic
>give every creature a genius level of intelligence/ability to speak
>provide them all with weapons that are equivalent to humanities weapons
>Encase the earth in a giant dome
>WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME.EXE
>see which creature comes out on top and bestow my powers unto them

Destroy all races except for white and Asian. Give wemon 50% more logic 50% less emotions.

>>737011905
Make it so that when anyone dies they go to a literal heaven where you can do whatever you want (without infringing on others of course). Then make it so anyone can choose to die whenever they want to, unconscious or not.

Anyone who commits horrid actions are fixed of whatever illness or lack of knowledge or just plain evilness once they arrive to heaven.

>>737011905
Transform myself into an ass parasite inside a 10/10 woman.

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KILL ALL HUMANS

>>737012024
thanks

>>737012186
Me too, my man
Go back into past and make sure i don't born

Create a virus that targets niggers and homos that actually works.

>>737011905
No more Jews

Get the cute girl to like me back

Brutally murder all atheists that deny me since I'm now real

>>737011905
give humanity the technology to colonies the entire universe, also I will end the religion of islam, replace it with some form of Christianity. I will also smite all members of terrorist organizations, and end all dictatorships.

make all dicks the size of a body pillow, time for some dick cuddling

>>737011905
Rid of all traps and /b/ altogether, this world doesn't need this cancer

>>737011905
I make my number of Euromillion, or a other money game, right to be a rich guy for all next days of my life where I'm not God.

>>737011905

Delete Andy Sixx from existence to get rid of the biggest piece of cancer killing /b/

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>>737022947
wew lad

Make entropy reversable. Should be interesting.

>>737011905
end existence of everything, including any possible other existences beyond our own.

>>737011905
I´ll spend the whole morning looking for the most efficient and smart humans on hearth. In the afternoon i´ll enlight them with all the knowledge of the creation itself.
At night i´ll give them (a hundred maybe a thousand) the choice of stay in the world and try to fix it, or give them another Earth with the opportunity of forging the new Human Race.

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>>737011905
Turn myself into a cute anime girl.

Begin global theocratic despotism, of course founding a new religion

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Shatter the natural laws governing the passage of time and remain God eternal.

>>737023308
That means killing all mosquitoes using AIDS.

Shut down causality.

>>737020547
and make them silent