Anyone shove shit up their ass before?

Nope. Never before in human history

Lol :) I'm sure a few have. Those brave few.

no thanks thats gay

>>736784443
Not all the time.

>>736784213
>finger
>sharpie
>toothbrush
>lipstick
>cucumber
>orange
>ice cube
>shampoo bottle
>dildo
>prolly a few others im forgetting

>>736785394
I salute you sir or mam!

>>736785394
Pretty much the same list for me plus my husband's cock (this morning, actually)

>>736785669
thanks. should have mentioned, i'm male.

>>736785773
Ever attempted an apple?

>>736785394
You're my man.
for me the list is something along the lines of
>finger
>sharpie
>lipstick
>cucumber
>orange
>deodorant sprays
>some big but nicely shaped clothes detergent jug
>shampoo bottle
>my girlfriend's hand (yes she fisted me)
...
Also man, together with her for past 3 years.

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>>736784301
>>736784393
>>736784443
>>736784652
>>736785394
>>736785669
>>736785773
>>736785792
>>736785971
>>736786260
time to head back

>>736786260
noice, my girl of several years fingers me and eats ass. havent had the balls to ask for fisting yet tho

>>736786260
I've done:
finger
fist
full orange
apple
cucumber
sharpie (10 of them)
Huge shampoo bottle
Boiled eggs
Ping pong balls

AND IM STRAIGHT LOL

There was one time where I got like 8 tangerines in me.

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why would you shove shit back up your ass?

>>736784213
Yes I have.
Lookup what an Alaskan Pipeline is and you'll pretty much get the gist of how to pull it off.

>>736786549
It's kind of fun lol.

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>>736786382
Why you using the one for ants man?

>>736786382
nice thumbnail

>>736786706
True

>travel size shampoo
>hotel complimentary lotion bottle
>sharpie (obligatory)
>bought a set of anal plugs, regularly use before I masturbate, makes the ejaculation so much stronger

>>736786825
Hero

>>736784213
Dude, you're doing it wrong. It goes the other direction.

>>736787088
Psst, this is a shitpost thread, it's supposed to be gay and weird

>>736786505
>AND IM STRAIGHT

Me too, I'm just doing this because it feels good for my asshole, not because I imagine whatever I put in there being a dick of another dude, because that's disgusting and gay.

Good shit with ping pong balls and tangerines. I once got an egg stuck behind the corner and I panicked, haven't put more than 1 of anything ever since.. except the two apples I did squeeze..

What do you prefer, girth or length?

I've always dreamt of going real deep like with a double dong or something, but I prefer the full feel around my sphincter, that feels way better.

>>736786432

wow lucky you.. my girl became boring shit, nowadays I can barely get her to have sex, let alone experiment with my or her's ass.. she's all like "I'll fist you, no problem, but don't touch my ass even though I just washed it because it's dirty" and I'm like wow go fuck yourself.

>>736786382
I don't like reddit and I don't use it, how can I go back to something I don't use? wow you're fucking retarded

>>736787140
Not really we've had women in here.

>>736787184
I have no girlfriend lol. Tried and failed. I've accepted my fate.

Not gay though. Straight as a metal rod.

>>736786931

thx bro. Thought about getting a prostate stimulator next. The biggest plug in the set goes a little too deep and the smaller plug isn't filling enough

>>736787613
If you we're a girl, I'd marry you. We need more women who like anal.

>>736787980

I agree. Too many shrewds out there. If I were to tell my GF that I like the stimulation she'd freak the fuck out.

>>736784213
yup, came out my mouth as food

I would eat my food out of a girls ass or pussy. :P

>>736784213
>finger
>hair brush
>ice cubes
>shampoo bottle
>dildo
>dick

-Fingers
-Toothbrush
-Tiny shampoo bottle

I fucking love that shit, but I have no idea how to step my game up and go bigger, it seems impossible at the moment

>>736788365
Keep inserting finger after finger all the way until fist.

I fucked myself with the orange yesterday and made a mistake..

I left the orange in the bathroom (I did clean up the lube and everything else I used)

room mate came back and noticed the orange, so I told him the story of how I went for a shit, but I was still too hot (because it's fucking hell outside) that I just coulnd't it and then I ate it in front of him..

almost threw up.

>>736788365
Cucumber or other produce

>>736788365

buy some plugs

>>736784213
I lost a vibrating cock ring up the ole tailpipe, my wife dug around for 20 minutes b4 she pulled it out. Since then just a digit or two

>>736788365
Lots of lube and relax. It's actually pretty easy. People think it takes weeks or months to work up to something big, but honestly you can take a fist right now with a little finesse.

>>736788365
>that shit, but I have no idea how to step my game up and go bigger, it seems impossible at the moment

I do this:

I find, lets say a deodorant bottle with a perfect round cap that can slide in easily.
I make sure it doesn't have any rough edges or crevices.

after that, I fuck myself with it, and if I want to go up, I try adding a finger as well, slowly..

First slide JUST the finger in, then slide the bottle and that way it will just naturally spread out and fill everything.

You can keep that method up with pretty much anything.

When I got my first shampoo bottle up my ass. I felt it just ease in and it felt so natural. I wanted to cum right there

My girlfriend and I share dildos

>>736788670
Perfect.

>>736788619
Lucky you, I have trouble finding a well shaped bottles..

they're either squares (like Head & Shoulders) or bread slices..

>>736786382
Obvious newfag is obvious

>>736788830
Yup :P

i stuck a live .50 bmg round for fun

Somebody needs to show a photo of what they can do. Especially a female :P

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>wrap in plastic wrap to give it a "texture"
>put inside condom for easy cleaning

Shove that up your gf's ass and post it here :P

Or heck, get a girl on here to do that, That'd make my day even if she shoved practically anything up there.

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>>736784213
Over the years I have slipped further and further in to degeneracy, from ages 15 to 22.
>finger
>pen
>electric toothbrush
>carrot
>hairbrush handle
>a test tube I stole from college
>cucumber
>A washcloth tied up with rubber bands in a condom (feels bumpy)
>condom full of playdough (would not recomend, it broke and I had to shit out a playdough chunk)
>a dildo of my own design, made with wet toilet paper moulded in to a cock shape covered in plastic wrap and a condom (You guys should try it, it is great)
>xbox controller (joined a Halo 3 game, kept getting killed for the vibrations)
>buttplug
>anal beads
>dildo
>a mans penis
>bigger dildo
>vibrating dildo
>horse dildo
>strap-on (it is great having a perverted gf)
Im sure there is some other stuff I have forgotten about

It'd be nice if an actual woman would make a post with something up her ass :P

Wish a girl here had the courage.

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>>736784213
Like actual shit? no. If you mean stuff though then sure, all the time, once flipped a table over, lubed up one of the legs and rode that fucker until I came. you're missing out on half the fun of sex if you don't try butt stuff

We need a brave girl. Who will shove something up her ass and post it here.

Or can somebody donate me 100 chaturbate coins?

Yep a female penis https://youtu.be/v9cLR7FHon4

been putting things in my ass since 10 but once i was 18 i just ordered dildos online

>>736791812
How old are you now?

Also are you a guy or a gal?

>>736791993
26 male

>>736792209
Got a gf?

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This was basically me trying to shit out an apple. God it felt good.

>>736792258
Not right now, but its never something I bring up to girls. Maybe next time I date